"Animalympics"

Live from the Export Beer Addin's studio and brought to you by Export Ultra of the Bear for Here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Monday, the twenty ninth of July.

The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you by Next Sport Ultra.

Good morning, Lane. We'll get into the Olympics for shortly. But I don't know if you heard. Heath and I are talking about it on the podcast. Last week we got onto talking about who's the greatest New Zealander of all time?

Oh yeah, that's that's quite a broad topic.

It came off the back of a voicemail that we had and it was something that I thought that Matt and Jerry would have done on this show. Paul ever on a great New Zealander. Who is the greatest?

Yeah? Who is the greatest?

Because people were talking last last week. Actually came off the back of a meme that was going around saying Lebron James is the greatest American of all time. Someone had him over Abe Lincoln and I got asked, who is the greatest New Zealander of all time? And I feel like we need to We've got a lot of messages on Instagram about it.

Yeah, a lot of votes for Richie.

I feel like we need to bust out another bracket for this, like we did with the a SEC nicknames last year.

Yeah, so I.

Think we need to get your votes through sending voicemails.

There's some interesting ones on this list.

This is just a little quick whip around that we had in the office last week of some of the some of the ones that we came.

In Money who put pe money in the Greatest News you p Money versus Scribe.

I feel like it would be quite a good, you know, quite a good I Ring Van Dyke versus Benie Mini. Obviously, we're going to have to boil this down. I think last year we did sixty four in the bracket, which, yeah, arguably too much.

Yeah it was. It went on for quite some time, So thirty two would probably be the go. Costable Keith versus Sniff. Yeah, Constable Keith. I always thought he was. There was the dog's name. Nah, nah, he was. Constable Keith was the was the police officer Sniff as a terrifying looking dog if you ah. It was like it was like before puppetry became cute. It was like basically a taxi dormy Alsatian with a loose jaw.

That's exactly what it was. I just somebody sent me a photo of it last week. I'm gonna try and bring it up. But yeah, that's exactly what it looks like. Here it is here taxi to me, Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a legit taxi.

To mc dog were just a loose bottom jaw that would go up and down.

And it's like, now, kids, what do you do if a stranger jumps out of the bush and flashes you?

What the fuck? I did not know that was an option and to the state, never happened to me. We used to work with comfortable Keith daughter Meghan Keith. Really yeah she was. She was on radio for you.

Keith this his last name, of course, that was I thought that they were a comfortable dave. It's like I thought they did that to make him a bit more approachable. Also, where I'm from, you do know the police by first name. No, it's Constable Keith's last name. Okay, okay, so Keith, this is last night. Well we're learning a lot. See, this is what it's important to have these debates, because the one I was talking about last week was would you have Joanah over id Hillary? And I think they know

And he didn't climb the highest mountain in the world. No, he didn't. He didn't. He didn't drive it. He didn't drive a messy Ferguson to the South Pole either Lake sirehn Hllary did. He didn't.

He didn't build schools in Nepal and then take all the kids from the school down to the nearest flat bit of earth and make them dance for a whole day until it was flattened flat enough that a plane could land in it.

But he did. Yeah, it did do that.

And that's why he's on the five dollar note. You know Queen Beavers, Val Adams.

Magnus and Magnus Benra.

Can you put Magnus and Benra on the same thing anyone outside of Auckland.

No, Magnus and beinro It's a very Auckland TV store appliance store, isn't it.

I actually have only just found you telling me that. Now I've only just figured out what they actually said white ware.

They just cracked me up.

What are their names again? I was just talking about them before.

Ah On and Adrian, they're definitely banging. I think they're married, an't they are? They? Are? They not blowing your mind this morning?

A lot this morning. John and Adrian aren't married. Keith is not his first name.

Hey, in the Briscoes Lady, it's a wig.

Yeah, I know it's a wig, but I don't think a wig precludes you from being the greatest New Zealander of all time. But you know she's going to come up against some stuff, the big Saved lady versus the Briscoes lad.

Yeah, Timmy is her name, Timmy? Yeah, I think so.

But Gary from Big Gary's chip shop down there, RP. Morton Courts, who figured out continuous fermentation for dB Breweries back in the day.

That's a global phenomenon that one know. The Finn Brothers. I mean, you can't put David Baine in here. Who put David Baine.

David Bayne versus Mark Lundy, Oh, okay, that's my Lee Hart versus Mikey Havoc, Stacy Jones versus the Nick Minute guy. I'm just saying there's a lot there's a lot of mister Whippy. You know you're going to put him in there, Charlie Upham, Willi Appia to oh okay, yep opper the dolphin, the field than most. There's a lot that you can chuck in there. And I think that over the next month we need to deliberate as to who is the

Yeah, because we'll make a new one five.

Yeah, make a new five Hondy and we're going to put the nick Minute guy on it or whoever you vote for. So yeah, i'll doctor that up this afternoon. We'll get into it probably tomorrow or Wednesday, just before we get into the Olympics as well. Your rams won on the weekend.

Yes, and you know what a little part of me my heart sung when I was watching that and the mascot made his way onto the court and they've changed have changed his costume somewhat since I was in it. It's a bit more athletic. Yeah, it looks a bit more breather than the basically the wool rests rug that I was wearing in the paper mache helmet that was about thirty kg's Because you were the ram I was Rambo.

Bit of PP yeah, well a bit of health and safety procedures. Last night they cut the net down, yes, because they did. When the NBL last night, there was a great clipt in the rounds of ironically a RAMS fan. This kid, Oh, he dropped the greatest IF bomb. Yeah, in slow motion you can see him saying it. But they were winning. I don't know what it was about, but go check that one out on Instagram. But the Olympics did start over the weekend. Did you watch the opening ceremony?

I watch it bits and pieces of it. It was. It was quite something. It was all over the show. It was a lot going on. I quite liked the idea that the athletes came in on boats, so they quite liked that. Yeah, the flames not in the in the like the fact that it wasn't in a stadium so much. You know, I quite liked it. It was.

I saw an interview with Andrew Mulligan from crowd Go as well, because he's over there, and he was like, I gotta be honest with you, it would have been way bit of watching on TV than where I was. Oh yeah, yeah, he could only see a little bit of it. Yeah, because they would they would have. There was like a woman, the opera singer was impressive. So she was standing on top of that big glass building. Yeah, one, yeah,

Is that nopera house? Something like that? Anyway, there's so many impressive buildings in Paris, which ones which? But in an essence, the Omening Ceremony is an hour long tourism video. Yes, that's all it is. They don't give a shit about the people there watching it. It's about selling Paris to the world. And it did a pretty mean job. Doesn't ave much selling power, I know, but it was pretty balling. And I like the way that the audacity of They

I thought that was Dionysus and they were just having some sort of festive orgy. And I don't know, I suppose open to interpretation that that metal band forgive me for not know go Jira or something like that. A few people that hearing that on my timeline people, A few of my friends absolutely love that kind of shit.

It's good. I like it. I mean, the less amount of children running around with ribbons, yeah, the better, because that's what vans in most opening ceremonies. There's a bunch of children with flags and ribbons and they're dance. Yeah a shit. Yeah.

I did notice though that as the boats were coming along the water, there were all those fountains going off.

Yeah.

I was like, these guys must be getting absolutely drenched, and sure enough they were. Kevin Durant posted to his Instagram stories like my whole outfits soaked. He would not be used to that, and know this's a guy who's getting paid hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars.

Yeah.

I didn't like their uniform either. The Americans. They had seen undersized jeans on with blazers. Anytime you're trying to fit NBA players, Yeah, they look ridiculous.

In a suit. Yeah, in a suit, you can spot. It's quite funny.

I liked looking at all the dudes on their boats and trying to pick what sport they were, you know, Yeah, the NBA players stick out like you know.

Dogs balls because they're about seven feet tall.

Yeah, I'll say the other day made of mine who's over there sailing for some more. So we should try and get him on and get his thoughts of what it was like.

He filmed the whole thing. It seemed like it was a long day for the athlete. Well, there's a lot of athletes who weren't there either, because obviously the rugby sevens was on at the same time. Oh yeah, surfers are a wee way away.

Oh where are they, Billy Stimm?

It is actually an action right now. Have you seen? Though? They've got like a floating Olympic village and Tahiti, so they've got like a little cruise ship. And then all the surfers are just staying on this cruise ship. Oh, just parting up almost rather do that. Yeah, I suppose you can't surf and Paris, can you.

And they're back to not knowing whether they're going to do the triathlon in the sin anymore because it rained, because it rained and so now, but then what they're saying is, so they tested the water after the rain and so there was more poos in there. That's what they're testing for. Yeah, I coola figal meta. They found dangerous levels of No, Like, if it stays that's follow poose,

I go on a head with it or yeah they should do and I want to I want to swimmer to come out of the water with a grogan like on his shoulder or something, we're in his hair. That's that just. I mean, even if it's fake, even if someone just throws a picnic bar in the and puts it, grabs it off your shoulder and takes a bite out of it. Live on TV add and Wild.

Who could be our best middle hope so far, we're going to get into all of the actual action that has happened in the first forty eight hours of the Olympics proper, but just before we do.

If you're watching all of these.

Sports and you're thinking, geez, I wish there's some sort of scholarship set up around this kind of thing, something that could get me, like, I don't know, some chips, some refreshments. Well we've got just that nackt change sports scholarship. We're binge watching. Sport is a sport. To enter text chip to three two three six, follow the link and you could be in to win the Ultimate acc Price Pack quick break.

We'll be right back lane.

I was reading the newspapers this morning, and I'm gonna be honest, they're all very, very negative and down on our athletes so far.

Well there is I mean, like I could see why with one zero medals we have not won a medal. But we specialize in our ass being on something solid to win. Okay, whether it's us being blown around a harbor or an ocean, or whether it's going backwards or forwards, when our ass needs to be on some sort of terra firma to win a medal.

We need to be set and to be fair, our rowers are going all right, so far the men's peer in the semi final, women's peer into the woman's lightweight double skull into the semi finals, women's four into the final, men's four into the finals.

So yeah, we are doing well. The word rap as it's only ever said once every four years, isn't it.

Yeah, we need the rippig, which I only understand to mean you get another shot at it.

Yeah.

So you didn't qualify in your heat, you go the ripa and you basically have to win that to to stay in it. It is fun when the Olympics come around and you've got to try and refamiliarize yourself with all this stuff.

Very unique to rowing. Not because there's no rippichage in the shooting, is it.

I think there's one in the sailing. I don't know what's great. Rip experts reach out, but where else does it?

World Cup rugby, you lose your pool games and you get a rippersa. If this podcast is ship, do we have to do a afterwards?

I was watching a bit of the rowing last night.

It's great.

It's an awkward time, but we've taken to go in a bed and then firing up the old thing on the phone and you can flip between between them all. I was watching our equestrians. Price, I forget if its name. She drove her horse into one of the barriers, just like full pace Janelle Janel Price.

It wasn't full pace.

They were coming through the water and they hopped out and the horse I just don't think was ready for the next one.

And so it just fuck and then keep going.

And I think basically at that level, if you do that, you're done.

Have Did you watch the pistol shooting? Now? The pistol shooting is one of the funniest things that they They introduced the shooters first of all, hands down, all look like serial killers, the pistol shooters, Yeah, and so, and then they're wearing these the strangest eye wear you've ever seen. It's like small piece of scaffolding that they put across their eyebrows, and then one of them has like an evil brown eye, and then on the other eye they

It's not even cool, like there's it looks like the like leftover science equipment from your high school class.

And you know what's even uncoler about it. There's no recoil on the pistol. It's it's like like a spud gun. Yeah, at least give it some sort of like boom.

Yeah, anyway, it's kind of like the thing they tried to shoot Trump with. There was no like boom. It was just like clapping. Why wouldn't you if you're one of these dudes, if you're one of these pistol shooters, why would you not come and dressed.

As a cowboy hundred percent? You have the world of possibilities available to you.

Yeah, and you come and looking like anbsolute wood or like some sort of RoboCop thing.

Yeah, just hamming up a little bit. But instead they're just a little sloppy, weird looking dudes. And then one guy he he put his left arm up to shirt and then he tucked he got his belt out and tucked his hand into his belt and into his pants and then shot. It was weird. It's problematic.

And so they this is they just literally stand there and shoot with their pistols.

Yeah, they get like I think they do five shots at a time or something, and then they put them down and they put them up again. How boring. Oh yeah, they get their hearts rates down to like thirty so that they're hardly alive. They've got the they got the pulse of a toa. Yeah, but why are they wearing that that the eye were I don't, I don't know. It's so odd anime.

Yeah, shit anyway, and also at least with the skiing one, like there's a bit of jeppety involved. I like these twos they have to run around. I think we were talking about it last week.

Yeah, the modern pin test on, Yeah and on in the winter. It was where they've got to go. There's ski for ten kilometers. Then they've gotta lie down, try and control their breathing and then shoot a target.

Yeah, you should have to ram rate of Michael Hill Jeweler and then hop out buy your thing off.

We've got to drive a spoon into a Mesda demio. Start it, yeah, hit the nearest jewelry saw it, then get out and pop five off and shoot a wicket and then you're away. Eat it. Yep. Our sailing is an action reveraly sure as well.

The Black Fans seven's beat China forty three to five in Canada thirty three seven.

That did michaela Bly score four tries in one of those games?

It sounds like it would have been that first one.

Yep. They're off to a flyer.

Football fans lost to nearl against Columbia who were probably flying a drone at the top.

Of the m.

The hockey stick. Black Sticks Men lost to Belgium one to two. I think they lost to India as well just before that. And Woman's surfer she got beaten. I think the waves weren't coming for her.

So and Louly Sun won and done. Louly Sun won and done.

God journalists to have an absolute field day with Lulu's last night, which I think it's son but son, Yeah, Sun one and done, And it's one of those classic key we we don't really follow sports very closely, and we hear that she's mean and then she loses and was like, well what I thought she was awesome?

So yeah, you can still lose it game.

It's like the the men's sevens team people, I thought they were goods, like they are. They just they literally beat that team that beat them the night play. Yeah, if you knew what the results would be, why by the hosting the tournament at all?

And then South Africa went on and get bronze as well. Yeah, so how was that seven's final? Though? I meant I was written in the stars, wasn't it? That whole whole final? Him?

He was tremendous throughout that. He was like, I mean, arguably he is the best rugby fifteens player in the world at the moment now he's gone to sevens. He was immense and he's just a ball of muscle.

He's a nugget.

Yeah yeah, giant head, huge hid. Yeah, he was on the back of human centipede for his second try.

Yes, that's right. The whole team came in a game flying and a seven man mall in sevens is a Gatsy move.

It's unheard of. It's something. Yeah, the way May under eighteens used to do a thirteen man like that. Something I haven't seen since. So after forty eight hours there have been a ton of medals dished out so far. Do you want to have a guess at who's at the top of the medal table?

M France, non China, non America, non Australia, also non very close. You've named all four of the top five.

It is Japan tied for gold medals with Australia, but they have one extra bronze, which is hey Keebi gold, which I think was a fencer. Australians have got some good gods, honest, Ossie gold with a couple of swimmers, eric A Fieweather who came forth.

She was gutted.

Everyone at the Olympics always says fourth is the worst position to get because you just missed out on the thing. Yeah, if you fourth eighth, but you're agonizingly close. She was in an historic field.

Yes, you know.

It would be like if you came fourth in a one on one basketball tournament and the winners were Michael Jordan, Lebron James and Kobe Bryant.

You know what I mean?

Just be like, well, what was I going to do? Orgonizingly close too?

Is there a worse job in media than being having to interview athletes immediately after they've hated and lost, because you're basically saying, hey, you can't fuck it up. And then in that field, yeah, I had that feel and a pretty gutted and they always start get emotional and it's like and then then they're gonna try and bring them back. Country is proud of you. We're really proud of you. You've done yourself a really you know. And then then they're like.

That's why it has to be someone like Kimberly Downs or someone to do it, because if it was some sort of you know, hard, hardline journey, it was like Jesus fucked that en, didn't you four years to be left? Think about all the times your mates went out on the purse and you said no because I'm going to the Olympics and you sucked it up. You might as well have gone out on the purse.

And or James McCain just trying to throw one line is at you exactly. You need someone with a bit of a heart.

But at the middle table at the moment, Japan four gold medals they are in fencing, judo, and skateboarding. Yeah, of all things do you see the skateboarding bus broke down, so they just skated. They just skated. That seems like a PR stunt. I'm gonna be honest with it, but I don't know what's gonna happen if the breakdancing bus breaksdown. The Australians are fourth the you know, sorry a second before as well, USA or third. Kazakhstan are among the

And how where where they lays stunny medals come from? Judo? Yeah? Judo.

So Judo's had They've had a bunch of weight divisions go through, so Kazakhstan's got to judo. It is Bikistan's good a judo. As we get down to Kosovo, they've got a judo. Mongolia to Nizia, they've got a fencing and the Republic of Moldova is also ahead of us, but.

That's only because of judo. Into we're sitting down going backwards.

Yeah, once we get out on the water with the sailing. What's been your favorite thing that you've watched so far across the week?

The shooting shooting head me in absolute tears. Yeah, but just because I was so ice cop there was no zero personality the eight dudes that lined up. I only watched the dudes one because it was just so they're just so funny. And the commentator goes and then and there's Demian. He's a real character. Demien, He's like, no, he's not. He's got no character, Like none of them have. It's kind of like early doors darts players. Yeah, they're sales sloppy red serial killers.

Yeah, there needs to be a bit more jeopardy in the like if the if it was like a carnival where the things are moving and you can shoot them down.

Oh you had a teammate with something on his head, you need to shoot it off his head like a can or something.

Yeah, yeah, exactly for me, I've gotta be honest, I actually really enjoyed the rowing. I shed on it when for three years out of four, but the one year when it's actually going in the Olympics, I'm like, they're actually quite fun races to because of the way the boats back and forth.

And I quite like they've got the speed as well. You can see who's seeking to see who's on the side. That's the first time I've seen the speed thing on the side yeah, the speed and see who's catching apples? Great dropping ass min you With the rowing, I always feel sorry because there's always some fucking dude from Congo who's about a kilometer behind him right now, and oh, poor bastard.

And also in our men's what this double single skulls, the one where they're only holding one or each. Oh yep, they were racing against the Swiss team had two dudes from Yale University and they were in the Yale rowing team for ages and then now they're rowing for Switzerland.

And I was like, that's right, this is a big thing. And those were a wanky.

Meanwhile, the US team done there ass they were about three hundred meters behind the rest of us.

And I also liked that.

Obviously they wear their watch so they can keep time, keep track of various different metrics. Our man in the front of our boat, he put the watch on the oar. He didn't even have it on his arm. It's just wrong, the thing and checking it every now and then as it came past on the oar. So yeah, that the swimming, obviously, this is the only time in my life that I watched swimming.

You reckon, you could biscuit behind a rowing apple. Look, I'm gotta be honest with you.

Last time I tried water skiing, it just about sunk the boat that was trying to pull me out of the water.

So I see biscuiting because yeah, you could just see a couple of kids on a biscuit behind the eight.

Oh, a couple of kids on a biscuit. Yeah, but I mean they'd want to be up to almost full telt before God, it'd just be the start would be tough.

Yeah, you've got to get a planing, don't you. Yeah, start would be very tough. Yeah, probably could maybe maybe foiling behind because once you're up on the foil is very little resistance.

Oh yeah, you could foil behind it, yeah for sure. But the basket it would be a bit different. I just the only the only down, Like obviously, rowing came from just back in the day when you had to actually row a boat out to a bigger ship to go where.

All vikings were headed to the north of England to the rape and pillage.

And they're like, I reckon, we were way quicker than you guys. Fuck off, all right, line them up, let's go. I don't know how that has persisted as a support through until today. It's so bizarre, it is. It is weird.

If you're a man from Mars, he came in and go what why? But then they also looked at the pestol shooters and going Jesus, yeah, that's right, these are your best shooters. Looking at those pistol shooters obviously not very athletic. They stand dead still. I don't know how we've ended up back here again. If you're in a shootout at like a laser tag place with an actual pistol, do you reck and you could beat one of them? You reckon?

You could get them before they got you.

Nah, No, No, there's something there's something unhinged about all of them that they're so psychotic. Yeah, they would be so still in the corner, yes, just popping you off, like.

All right, that'll do it for the Olympics for today. All of our athletes that are in action later on today and tomorrow are up on our Instagram. Yep, we're pumping out when and where you can watch each of those. But it's ugly times because they zach opposite time in the world from us, So AnyWho go and check that out on the Instagram if you wish to and if you would like the exclusive opportunity to win a VIP Warriors experience, all thanks to Helenstein's, We've got just that.

Yours please, brought you by Leader Home of the LASN.

Just afford to get through today?

Lane yep, and the first one goes like this, yours please get a Failers.

Are we going to talk about the NRLW over the weekend? And I didn't watched that before, but watching the Broncos versus Eeles game, oh all on their full punchers, there's bloody good watching actually, And you've got to really talk about the the post try celebrations is pretty choreographed. Was actually quite entertaining watching, all right, fun.

Yeah no, this was good.

So it was one of the Eels players got lined up and it was a simultaneous hip drop and hid high on this one player and so then her sister, who plays in the same team, fired up. Was just like, what this's as fuck. She comes and pushes one girl off with her hand right on her face and then the hip drop e and it was uas salah. I'm definitely not pronounce it correctly. She's the sister of Frank Paul, who played for the Roosters. He won the l back

It was.

It was good and I think because I was watching the footage and I think it was Gus Gould commentating, and you could tell him he was just been like, oh.

Here we go, Oh, here we go.

It's on now, it's on now, like he was loving it. Then they showed the slow replay and there was just like a full couple of full on punches to the cheek and he's like, oh opsy oopsy And in the end they both just got synbin for ten minutes. I expect when they see the replays they're gonna get quite lengthy bands for that.

But yeah, it's just good.

To see a bit of biff in the NROLW God bless them. Another call here yours.

Howdy lads.

Frano here, just calling in regards to commentary to the Olympics. You said you guys have had too much on your plate to do every single one, so I thought would narrow it down a bit. How about just commentating the Olympic villa. Who's shagging who? What mischief? Skinning up? You know, what's everyone's body count? Just you know, make it a bit easier for everyone. Plus, I'd love to hear here which one about.

I'm quite glad they got cut off there. Yeah it was a tractor, you know. They sounded like he was an attractor of some description or a harvester of some description. Interesting when the whole village and the socialization because as because all the athletes finish at different times.

Yeah, so well the sevens guys finished before the opening ceremony.

Yeah, so they hit it hard for the next two weeks. Do I stick out? I don't think they were on the boat. Do they stick around? Do you stick around? Hey, you stick around? Oh yeah, you totally would. But obviously all the judo guys are ready to mingle they're done. Yeah. The judo guys, I mean a lot of the swimmers

It reminds me of like the end of your university year when everyone was finishing their exams at different times. So then, but if you were the last one and everyone else was like going for it.

You'd always feel like, oh, should I just have a one got?

How easily could you derail your entire Olympics. But if I was over there and I'd trained for four years and the judo boys were on the chot because they had already finished, but I still had my one eyed still shooting the cup, I reckon I would to I would have gone healthily. I'm never gonna be in Paris with these guys again.

Imagine if you were in the village and a real breath of fresh air came up they just finished their event. What are you up to tonight? I've got two tickets to the Moulin Rouge. I've been spotting you from the other side of the room. Yeah, you know, I think we would have a good night together. You've got your shooting the next morning, have some d one children. You're never gonna, never gonna come across the scenario again.

You're like, so you're telling me, as Bicky Wrestler comes up to me and he says, I've got us get to the Moulan room.

Exactly what I'm saying. How could you resist because he's gonna have you anyway? You know what.

Esville I don't know, Okay, class, Yeah, absolutely, we're talking about me. Yes, I would, Yeah, one hundred percent. I guess that's what makes these what separates these people from the rest of us.

Yeah, the temptation must be just mind by and then it's just built up, and then you see it at the closing ceremony and you're like, oh my god, there's gonna it's gonna be like a painter's radio around this village.

A lot of sunglasses going on around that time. Yeah, just like we said, we did offer, and there were talks about us going over there, And I actually think that reporting on this kind of thing is exactly why we're not there right now, because this is what the Olympic, the New Zealand Olympic Committee does not want Yeah, correct Nigel Avery. The last thing he wants shift to Michon as us going out there's but fuck do you hear what these guys got up to last night?

That's another word the shift the micheal between ripper and shift of micheal. When whenever do you say shift to Michele, Well, only when he's in the ripper you just say he's the dude in charge.

I know, I don't know. I don't know what we end up with all the French words in there as well? Another call here, yours, please get.

An idea for the halftime at the rugby there will be slightly more interesting. Why don't we get some animal fighting going on, but a cock fighting? Maybe go grape some lines and some gazelles from the Auckland Zoo. I'm sure the TAB would love to get on board, and I'm sure everyone would love it. Hello.

Well, first of all, great idea. Why we don't get the gazelles is because my partner looks after the gazelles at so it's gonna cause me more problems that it's worth. Yeah, but I think the halftime show animal fight it's a great idea, and I think that perhaps that the the Olympic version would be you nominate a native animal from your country. Yeah, and then you just put them all in sort of royal rumble styles.

We'd suck though, because we'd have like flightless birds in there. Oh no, you can check a sea lion in there. Oh okay, you know we got a native sea lion, are we?

Well.

I don't think they're introduced.

I don't think someone came over and was just like, you know what brings us gorse, bring us some possums. A couple of firits are stowtness sea lion I think, I mean, I don't have to from here, but they're around.

I reckon, I reckon. A kiwi would go all right, though, because it would just be like the one quiet dude wacking off in the corner, and everyone will kill each other on in the in the field, and then there must be this keewi in the corner going that's a good point, terrified in the corner, and no one will even engage with the flightless fat bird, that's right, And it'll be all the light tigers and lions and snakes going hammer and tongs.

Oh yeah, if I'm if I'm in Alaskan grizzly and I'm looking around the room and I see the Central African Republics put forward a gorilla. Yes, I'm like one that ki We'll get round. That gorilla is going to be a problem.

That little fat thing in the corner, Yeah, pleasuring itself. I can deal with that later. We'll get back to that thing. But the gorilla that needs to be stopped right now. Botswana's sent over a lion. You know. It's like, well American's got an eagle flying around just picking people off. I mean that's an issue for the Kiwi. The eagle coming and the ball like traditionally and just picking it up.

Yeah, yeah, it'd be so lame. Meanwhile, there's a salt saltwater crocodile Australia.

Australia have got so many like what do you pick Those castle wearries look terrifying.

Caries are terrifying. Yeah, so you got those things as well. The noise they make rattles your chest.

The yeah. See, like Australia got their own they've got their own division.

They yeah, they could, they could run their own whole competition. No, I think would be I think we'd be in deep ship. It's a beer, It's gonna be a I've spent a lot of time thinking about animals fighting against other animals. If you if you think or grizzly bear, if you think that a gorilla could be a grizzly beer, just go and have a look at how at the size difference. Grizzly beers are so much bigger.

Polar bear smaller than a grizzly bear.

Yeah, probably a bit more athletic, but more vicious.

But you can an elephant could take down a grizzly just standing on its heat or something. Oh yes, I.

Did get served a video on Instagram of an elephant standing on this trainer a couple of weeks ago.

That really is your feet is wrong?

Really interrupted my sleeping pattern on a Tuesday. M Yeah, I think an elephant, kid, because I've always I always like to think about what's the biggest animal, like a beaten one on one fight, you know, I never one always immediately jumps to like cows because like they're so placid.

How are you gonna kill a cow that's one hundred punches to the head and you've got broken hands? Yeah, that's right, you're not.

Yeah, and look, I'm not too proud to admit that I've once punched a sheep in the head and it just broke my hand and the sheep didn't even notice it. So you're not killing a cow or a sheep or anything like that. I think I could starve out a giraffe.

Starve out a draft. Yeah.

I feel like I can last longer without eating than a drafte.

Okay, so this is not a fight to the death. This is just you steering at a girafe. It's me and a draft get locked in a cage and you're like, we're not going to fight.

I just wanted to walk out once, okay. Yeah, or I went until it lies down. Eventually it's going to get so emaciated it lies down. Yeah, and then really, no good chokehold in another.

Doesn't your partner look after the draft? She does, She's convinced I couldn't do it. I reckon I could, I reckon I could. All right, we're off into the weeds here. One last caller call of yours.

Please, Hey, boys. Regarding the sevens men's team, I think the selectors are currently doing the nation and the fans a disservice by not calling in the Avengers. We need to build out a super team like USA Basketball and bring in the likes of Mwanga and Barrett. I know it's harsh on players who play sevens year and year out, but one civil medal from three Olympics doesn't stack up to our rugby pedigree. Change is required to win.

Yeah, that was so was pointed. That was one of the most well thought out voice spellers. It is actually finished, finished in time. Ye wrapped it up nicely. That's what we're in the industry called hitting the post. Yeah, he's nailed that, and I agree with him. I agree with him. Why why didn't we have Richie Mullen there? Why didn't we have Buddy Barrett and there Join mac Ardie.

Yes, you're telling me they'd rather be playing Fiji and San Diego. No, they'd rather be in Paris winning a gold medal exactly. Yeah, and look, I yes, it would be harsh to those guys on the seven circuit, you know, week in week out, unfortunately for them, unless you're better. Yeah, then you know these other guys.

Addie Savia himself would be be terrifying, wouldn't that he would be.

Yeah, he's he looks like a sevens player. I think we have come away way off the boil from where our sevens team was, you know, when we're we're in the DJ Forbes era. I don't think we're quite there anymore, as evidenced by the by the But but I mean S BW did come into that team and they didn't do too well either, So but I don't know. I think I think we should definitely do that next time.

Is it going to be there next time? Sevens? Is that a permanent Olympic sport? Now?

Well, what's that the third suppose Olympics? I suppose it is. I mean I would I would love to hear the argument about why break Dancings in there and rugby sevens isn't you know.

Isn't parkhor in there as well? And as yet I think so? Yeah.

And then the wall climbing, I don't mind the wall climents quite good fun. That is actually quite good to watch. It doesn't make too much sense. I feel like they're pulling them up with that rope. That's what I'm honest, A bit of performance enhancement. I don't know.

Yes, I completely agree.

I think the bat signal should go up for the Avengers of the Sevens. But that'll do us for today, But send in your voicemails overnight and tomorrow. We want to know who you think is the candidates for the Greatest New Zealander of all time. We'll put a bracket together and we will debate it over the coming month. Also, just one last thing, we're actually on YouTube. I don't know if we've yeah, we've been putting these up for ages and I just don't think anyone's ever mentioned it.

We look like, oh god posture, if.

You want to see the awful, awful posture that goes I blame the cheers and the export Big Gudens Studio. It's definitely the cheers cheers suck. Then you can do that. You can just check it out on the YouTube. Other than that, we'll not sting on the head. We'll see you tomorrow for another episode of the Gender Podcast.

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