"A Service To The Nation"

Life in the Export Beer Guden Studio and brought to you, as always by Export Ultra of the Bear for Here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Wednesday, the seventh of August.

The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you by Export a Culture.

I'm back lane, you put your areavement, leaving from observing the days of national grieving for the retirement of Shawn Johnson, and Yeah, beauty can't come at a worse time, men, I literally just been forty minutes talking about how we didn't think he.

Was going to retire.

That was noted yesterday.

And I didn't. I genuinely didn't.

My take was other clubs have been offering him money, which means our club's offered him money. And I don't think that you turned down six figures if it's still being offered to you.

I think he has got a big enough future outside of the game.

That is what That's sort of what I've come to learn. And I've always said that being rich isn't about how much money you have, It's about how much money you can say no to. Yeah, and he said no to what I presume to be an eye watering amount of money.

Yeah, and I don't know if it's eye watering. He is coming to the end of his career.

It would make my eyes water if you present to me with that contract.

Yeah, but not I mean it would make.

Your eyes water to present me with that contract.

But yeah, Like like I mentioned yesterday, he's got a lot of interests outside of the game. Yeah, he's obviously launched his own little media empire as well. So you know what, he probably worked out that he could probably make more money with less stress, let's travel more time with his family if he concentrated on that.

Yeah, So that's a good point. What's he been off a outside of that? Obviously? I thought when I saw whenever I see an athlete launched their own podcast, I'm like, that's one foot out, yep. And I think the more violent the game that you play, the further that foot is out, you know, because if you if you start making money off something outside of your sport, you're like, I've just done my pick my hilles, fucking my hammi

Of a career.

And he has to be in your all time Warriors squad otherwise you don't know anything about the Warriors.

This was an interesting question.

And I know this is a few days old now, but it's been asked to me twice today, just this morning, by two different people. Would you rather win bronze and the pole vault or loose because of year downstairs?

And I said the same thing.

To both those people. Every year, well, every four years someone wins bronze at the Olympics for pole vault, but not every year does someone get to write their name into the history books for lodging the bar with their downstairs And can you imagine him walking into the Olympic village afterwards.

Just full of confidence.

He should walk around dislodging all sorts of things with his downstairs like he should go past the Olympic village like bar and just knock off a tray of Heinekens. Sorry, pat was he was he telling, I don't know, but just go what else can what else can you knock off?

He's French, you know, you go around to the to the the.

Particity and just go across and just swipe off all the classons off the top.

A jewelry store should have him in their ads where he walks into the shop and it's all shot from above the waist and he turns around and you just hear millions of dollars jewelry smashing the endorsement deals.

About absolutely, I mean even a spray and wipe ads, walks past, he cleans it off, maybe like an ad for No More Nails, or like gorilla glue, where he goes over as downstairs, hits the bar and it doesn't dislodge because it's been glued down with the only only substance known demand strong enough to withstand this guy's downstairs. Yeah, as he lands afterwards, he goes and tries it again and it smacks his nuts on it, and he goes Silly's griulla. Ste's fast, and he's like and then he's like.

Fu, first time I've ever seen it.

Yeah, I think that he's already been offered like two hundred and fifty thousand dollars to film an adult video. And I think that the way he should play this is he should launch an only fans, but not post any pictures of his just post a picture of his face, post a screenshot of the bar being dislodged.

This is controversial, Okay, I believe he's got a tiny pee, but massive bees.

Do you think it was the bees that dislodged it?

Yeah, having looked at the footage and gone back on the tapes, yeah, controversial. I mean he's probably loving life, although there could be some disappointed partners coming around the corner because I believe he may be op rating a cashew with some big tractor wheels.

Right, Okay, that's.

If you look at the footage, it's not his d that knocks it off, it's his bees that wrap around the pole and dis lodge it. So I'm just going to throw it out there, small.

P B bees, Okay, huge conspiracy theory, the dumb just yeah, you are like, do your own research, do your own research, do your own research into that. Are we allowed to use the footage? Could we cut this footage from this podcast in.

With that once is over?

Yeap?

Yes, we will because when the Olympics over very litigious the new Zeallympic Committee and the Olympics for some reason, I don't want people sharing the content or talking about it.

But it is an important issue that you've raised, you know, for the last week now, all anyone's been talking about is.

The z Yeah.

No, it's his bees, but you're saying on this podcast, their gender podcast, Yes it's actually his bees.

Yeah.

And people are going to be bitterly disappointed at the closing sermoy when they strip them naked at some state Yeah and go ah.

I would just love because I like when so every year and say Super Rugby, NBA, whatever, when there's a grand final and they have to print the winning team's hats and jerseys before because they don't know who's going to win. So every year there is a losing team's winning hat, yes, that they presumably burn. I would love to get so, say, for example, when the Blues played the Crusaders in the Super Rugby Grand Final, I'd love to have had a Blues champions hat and wear that and have people.

Say they didn't win that year, did they? No, they didn't.

And I would like to if I was home, I'd have the bronze medal, and I thought you didn't win the bronze medal at the twenty twenty four Olympics.

You're right, and that's because I did this.

My downstairs just lodged the bar. Yeah, one hundred percent. Yesterday, while I was in my day of morning, I went and did the groceries. I went to back and say there was a guy there with a basket grabbing a couple of things, box of chocolates, a bottle of wine, and a thing of flowers, a bouquet of flowers. Pack and save flowers out of pack and save flowers.

Okay, Is there's a caveat on the pack and save flowers the ants?

Yes, I'm in okay, there is a caveat.

You've got to unwrap them and rewrap them yourself before gifting them. You've got to take all that cellophane shit off and the kind of what's everything that screens pack and save about it.

You've got to jig up a bit, so you got to repackage it.

If you've got any colored paper or home or brown paper, buy two or three. So buy two or three of them as well, and so you can look the bouquets. You mix them up and then rewrap them.

Oh, because one day she's going to go into Pack and Save, she's going to look, she'll see the exact Bokay, you've given her her.

Bloody pack and save flowers. But if you mix and match them, she'll never see them.

Yeah, and look, the key is rewrapping, just kind of just mask it. The same with It's the same with service station flowers. You never buy one, you got to buy two. Three. Judge it up. Stop on the side of the road, Grab a fern, fucking whack that motherfucker in there, Like, just grab some greenery from anywhere and just whack it in there.

Off the lawn because I guess at the end of the day these flowers have been grown presumably where all the other flowers have been grown.

Correct, you can only grow the flowers a flower. It's the packaging and say that's the that's their mono. You know, everything's out of a box. It's concrete floors, stack to the roof. Wouldn't want to be there in an earthquake, but you know that's the that's the moner. That's same with the flowers wrapped and shitty, shitty kind of this plastic clear plastic stuff. Yeah, so you just gotta you've got a salt bad.

I don't mind it because I was looking at.

That and I was like, brother, brother, brother, surely not not the peck and save flowers.

But he sounds like, what do you buy chocolates? Yeah?

I saw a bottle of wine Lindau Oh, didn't see what it was.

Yeah.

If he's got Lindy's chocolates, and just that he's he's on a tinder date, he's cheap. Oh right, yeah, he's on some sort of Yeah.

I was thinking he's done something horrific.

Eh, Well, there's a scale, isn't here of what you've done that's horrific and what you purchase to make up for it. So that doesn't sound like a horrific crime.

There's a minor crime potentially, I don't know, stacking the dishwasher wrong.

Or I just not maybe coming home late.

But blowout didn't come home one night.

Either, didn't come home. That's quite a big one.

Yeah, yeah, so you do escalate that one a little bit potentially with maybe a bigger bouquet, maybe at dinner.

I've only ever done that once.

Didn't come home and I was on Leehart's couch watching Beatles documentaries. There's my story and I'm fucking sticking to that until I die.

And Lee will back me up on there as well.

He's good that he's a great New Zealander and that in the industry is called a segue because we are crunching the numbers on who is the greatest New Zealander of all time at the moment, I would like to remind people because this has gone massive across social media, hundreds of comments on every platform. I didn't make the fucking I mean, I made the images, but I didn't set the brackets.

You guys voted for these on social media.

Yeah, and that's why we're getting so many comments now that it's live of like this guy should have been in there, this guy should have been in there.

Well, where were you? You know?

Because we had and we had your chance on social media and the voicemails to send through who you wanted.

And a lot of people got overlooked.

And again I keep going back to voter apathy came Williamson's not in there because I think everyone thought that he was going to be in there.

Sam white Locks not even in there, Sam White Lock's not in their greatest kept All Black of all time.

Some are saying that there's too many cricketers in the bracket. There are four. There are also four rugby players. And to those people, I would say that cricket is our too long a wai wai. This is where we came from, so there's always going to be an overrepresentation of cricketers.

It's the same as rugby though it's our two national sports.

That's right.

There are not a lot of politicians. In fact, there's none. I don't think so. And that's, you know, again a reflection of who we are as a people. And I heard Heath talking yesterday on the podcast like, oh, there's going to be some real popularity. You know, some people are going to get through just because they're popular, like I don't know, like the four Square guy, maybe mister Whippy yeah.

Or Horald the Draft howld the draft so beat?

Yeah, it's and like I said yesterday, there's not some sort of manipulated rock countdown.

No, this is for the people, by the people.

And if a joke nomination nominee makes it through, then fucking so bad. If the four Square guy beats Charlie up and then the four Square guy beats Charlie Upham.

That's like, you know what, it's proud of the people. I don't know if you recall in England. Every year in Britain there Britain's Got Talent or with their whatever talent contests they have and Simon cow is involved in and Britain's Got Talent or whatever they the winner always releases a Christmas song and it's fucking shit, but it always goes to number one because it's been on that reality TV show, right, and the group or the band released the song, it goes to number one everyone in

Yeah, right, it was Killing in the Name of It. See, this is for the people, by the people.

It's like when they had that Arctic exploring boat that they wanted to.

They ran a competition, what are we going to call this thing? And they came up with body mc boat face.

Yeah, and they didn't call it that.

I know they pulled out. So they pulled out.

Then they tried it again a couple of years later, and the winning vote I'm pretty sure was body mcboat face too, and I don't.

Think they called it that either.

You can't go to the public and then pull out, that's bullshit. I recall a certain national body went to the public with what uniform should we wear for our short form format games?

What one beij ye? And they were like, what about till Yeah?

And he goes, oh, we counter other votes outside of social media as well, because the social media votes were off the scale.

Yeah, we know for a fact you can't can't.

Do that two months before a summer because those uniforms have already been made. I've already gone to print, have gone to print, and so we all knew that was going to be teal because it already made it. So it's like, don't go to the public, yeah, and if you do, you've just got to go through it, no matter how humiliating the results are.

So that's that's where we find ourselves.

And so the first bracket, the first round, the first matchup was Sir Edmund Hillary versus Sir Ernest Rutherford, and I took to social media to voice my concerns about and again not to belittle, will besmirch the good name of Sir Edmund Hillary, but I did say ed climbed a mountain, Ernest Rutherford unleashed the power of God.

Yeah.

But like I mentioned on your comment, I feel like I really know er Rutherford, whereas I feel like I've got a bit more of an affinity with the apurist, the bee keeper. Yes, and Edmund Hillary.

And I think people like to see themselves in Edmund Hillary as well. Here's the quintessential Kiwi.

I think.

So he won, so he yeah, he, I think it was there were a lot of votes for Ernest Rutherford. To be fair, he went, I was sort of having this debate with my party yesterday and I was like, well, Ernest Rutherford's one hundred dollar note and ed Hillary's on the five dollar note, that should show you that at least says to me that Ernest Rutherford is five times as important to our country as Edmund Hillary is, to which she said, well, which do you see more often

The Greatest bee Keeper a live live like No, I can't. I couldn't even tell you who's second.

This morning, Gary Poyton, the soundkeeper, Gary from zid M, He's the sickond bess this morning it is Susie cadovers Jason Gunn Ah. I'm a gun guy. Yeah, I'm a gang guy.

Yeah.

He's the first of the celebrities still with us to have weighed in in the comments, and when this first went live, his comment is that a vote for Jason gunn is a vote for Thingy.

Absolutely it is. So you've basically got a two for one there. If you're a Thinging fan.

Me personally, I have a long held grudge against Susie Cato.

You can't hate Susie Cato.

You can't has to see the cultural impact you've had on the country. I'm not going to say it's not a great song. The cleanup, clean Up, everybody everywhere has helped kindergarten teachers, not just nationally but globally.

And lovers throughout the world at the end of a heavy love making session and lovers.

Yeah, so look, kindergarteners and lovers worldwide, thank Susi Cato. My issue with Susi Cato, and I think it's a very specific one, is that my mother auditioned to be Susie Cado when the auditions were happening, and so she went in and when you say.

Susie Cado, she's a real person.

You're not playing. You're going for the role of Susie Cato here and Susie Cato we're going imagine.

If you showed up for the Susi Cato You're like, She's like, I'm Susie. I was like, you're going to get it there, you already got the same name, and she was going for the same role.

Yes, that Susie eventually won.

That eventually became Susie Cado. Yeah, but at one point could have been Lisa Fleming, right and didn't get it.

And I just so, who holds the grudge? You or Lisa Fleming?

No?

Me?

Yeah right, I don't mom cares at all, but I'm just like, my life would have been way different if my mum was Susie Cado.

What do you think I reckon?

I reckon it would have I don't know, for better or worse.

Yeah, okay, you always assume the grass is going to be greener.

I think he would have been teased quite heavily. You're assuming I wasn't.

Teas more than usual. I think it would have been a rock star my mum. I feel like having a dad who was a wiggle.

Still, I don't reckon that's a good thing. Okay.

Well, anyway, so the audition tape existed for a while as well, that mum did, and it was a good audition, but you know, when you see yourself on camera, it's just more device. So every year that would come out, and me and my uncle would take turns hiding it somewhere at my grandparents house so that she couldn't find it and destroy it, so that every year we could pop that thing back into the VHS around Christmas time

Oh so heartbreaking.

Oh no, so that's that's before you could digitize it and it stays online forever.

Yeah, I never got I never got the chance to put it onto DVD, and so yeah, we'll never get to see that.

But yeah, so you're a Jason Gunny then.

So I am by default Adjason gun guy. Thingy very unlucky not to make the final bracket. We had to cut the line off somewhere, but he did get a lot of votes initially. So yeah, I am by default going for Jason Gunn, which is subsequently a vote for Thingy. If he makes it through this round, we should probably get him on the show to pitch his case. But as it stands, the only way that he can make it through is if youre going to vote for him. You cound do that on Instagram. You can do it

Those are the two canoeing dudes. This is the drop knee teapot. Quite sexual looking. Well, you're on one knee. It's a lot of hip thrusting, yeah, and it looks dangerously hard to balance in those things.

It looks about thirty centimeters wide.

Yeah, you're on You're on one knee with another big steak in front of you, and you have to like fully hip thrust your way to the line. It looks quite ungainly but.

Also quite hot. And they lost by like so much.

It was it's been compared this morning to Edie the Eagle or Eric the Eel. Yeah, who Eric the Eel was the guy who I forget what country is from. But basically to qualify he had to go and swim around a barrel in the middle of a river. And then come back. He had never swum, I don't think in an Olympic lengths pool before. He was not familiar with the starting gun. He didn't recognize it when it went off.

But there's a big difference here because there was a means to an end.

Yes, this So these guys had only picked us up three months ago, and it was because they'd actually never done the sport before. They are kayakers, not canoers. Yeah, and so we had qualified the K two team, yes, the men's team. So that's that K two is kayak with two dudes in it. Yes, yeah, but our K four had misqualification. But whoever won the Oceania Champs in the C two, which is the canoeing the thing that happened last night thrust they got to register two more boats.

The loophole that we melt so good on them, that's right.

And they showed up and instead of just being like, look, we'll pull out sick on the day or whatever, they were like, fuck it, we can never go.

Now, you have to. Their biggest worry was disqualification, right, but they're not going to take our other boat out if we're getting squalified. I think yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure if there was, because that's what they said. They said, we just wanted to get to squalified in.

But I just I love that there were the two Kiwi dudes to shout up, just like fuck it, let's have a crack.

How does this on go? Right? It looks quite hard. It looks like you need a very strong core to keep that balance.

It also is the least like Olympic looking out of all of those sports. It's real, who's our man with the flannel shirt, the bloody lumberjack like it looks they just look like lumberjacks come up to the thing. One of the articles, I think it was on Stuff was going after them, saying that they were the disgrace the sport, and it was like and then the article was.

Classic Stuff was was on spin off as well.

It was like most embarrassing New Zealand performances in an Olympics. Fuck it off. They did our country of massive service here.

Because they turned around with their fucking K four and they made the semis. Yeah, so they turned around and said suck on that. Yeah, as a means to an end, We've got our K four boat in first time in like twenty summing years, that K four New Zealand boat, and they've made the semis to qualify for the finals. So fucking bite it.

And the other part about it, not only does it show the world what we're about as a nation, we're about just showing up and having a gods on his crack.

So I just have like we've never done it before.

They said they couldn't keep the thing in the lane because the kayaks have a rudder but the canoes don't.

So they are both rowing.

The fucking only done it like a handful of times between the two of them. And then if I row on this side, then he rose on that side. Now we're out of the bloody lane. So God bless it. But the other part of it is how many times do we talk about on this podcast at the pub.

We'd love to.

Have someone in the lane, who's just like a normal guy, just to see how good this is.

It.

We had it here. These two dudes have never done this before.

Forty five seconds behind the finishes. Yeah, in the quarterfinal. What I was gatted about that was in their heat. They got smoked in the heat, and it was watching and luckily the commentator got given the information beforehand and said, hey, there's the reason they're in theres loophole. They may be doing it for three months. They don't expect much from the kiwis, and then from the start it's got smoked. Yeah,

I reckon they did it three months ago. I haven't done it since because.

Why would they?

Why would they? That training is a completely different sport. And then every now and then that I reckon they would have been like, oh fuck. We also have to do the other one on Sunday on yours have a crap, I've only got the kayakers, yeah, or we'll just turn around and just use it one way.

God bless those dudes. I love those two.

I also love the kayaking the K four when they take off and the women's K four have made the they made the final semi.

I think it's tonight they.

Won their heat.

But I just love it.

It's like a propeller when they all go once, you know, when they're just like that when they're in sync.

I think it looks awesome. Yeah it does.

Yeah, Carrington's throw in the K two in the K four our other K two that qualified Amy Fisher and her mate and they.

Got knocked out.

Yeah.

But and I like the fact that all the women's K four all had the same here does They had the tight plat on, the kind of corn Rows Viking style, same glasses, same badass black long sleeve out the top.

Our kit looks sick. Yeah, we look mean when we show up in black and all black. Some of the get ups that other people are wearing look ridiculous.

It was another team looks like they had polo shits on.

They did and I was like, you're not gonna win if I if I showed up again, this would have been my hunch on the on the court, on the field, you're not winning.

With the zip in your uniform. It's sorry, fully like her up.

I want you, I want the full crey, I want the full wrap around glasses.

Yeahs in terms of kit ours is number one. Number two is Albania. They've got the red flag with a black eagle dragon thing on it and they put and that's the uniform and it looks terrifying.

I did see Amy Fisher rolling pit vipers as well, revolving the That was good.

Enjoyed that.

Yeah, that's again another massive hunch. The other one, I know that the sport's caught your our man, King Julian the Lemur from Madagascar. He's climbing for New Zealand.

They ran up a drain pipe. The climbing event as easy. My favorite, Like they get up a fifteen meter wall and a guy set the world record.

He got form four.

And a half seconds or something. Get up a fifteen meter wall. You need to hire those kind of people to rob banks and shit for you. Yeah, Like they just scale stuff out of here. Yeah, imagine imagine imagine he pinched your handbag or your camera took off. You chased after him, and he's been straight up fifteen. Me'd be like four seconds is fifteen the fucking owl.

I quite like it.

I don't quite like the technical one. I don't know if you out checked out the technical. That one's goofy so and it's like they fall off and have another go.

So it's that one's bouldering and the walls on all different angles and you've got to climb up and you get points for touching different it does it looks goodyous. They got one foot behind their head and then they got one hand on the thing and then they reach over with the other hand and that's how they score. It's just kind of lam it's cool when they jump across the wall.

That looks cool.

Yeah, but make that an event.

Yeah, then do water on that the wall climbing thing. I had to ask a few questions about this because I was like, how how does it work? First of all, the wall configuration is the same at every.

Event, and it's the same size holes.

Yeah yeah right that there's like a standard thing for it. And so our girl who tits leaf. She's apparently got one of those set ups. I don't know if it's at her house, but so it's yeah, it's the same configuration every time.

That's why she was up against this.

Polish woman who I think set the world record then broke it like three times in the heats.

Well that's what I think, King Julian he beat her former world champ, the Iranian. Yeah, and he was like shocked and he shook his hand and then dropped down to his knees and started like to the Iranian guy because he's a bit of a legend and he just knocked him out of the Olympics, right, and now he's up against the current.

World world record.

Yeah, so man for that, that will record one. When I saw them to it four and a half seconds, that was insane.

It honestly looks like when they film movies and like a Spider Man movie and you see the behind the scenes and he's got the harness us or like a pink concert, Yeah, shooting out over the crowd.

Well, you threw out a conspiracy theory, but really that rope is pulling them up.

Yes, I have a I have a strong suspicion. I have a strong suspicion that the rope is helping them, and so I said, if I think, what we need to do to test that theory is get rid of the rope and have a net that follows them up instead, so there's nothing, they're not touching anything, and if they fall off, they're still safe.

I reckon, go one further and then as soon as they start, the floor disappears into a pool. So then if they fall off, they fall into water of acid and and sharks with leaser beams on their heads.

That opens up into a pit of saw bloodes. I think, yeah, I don't know, it's just looking at it. It's probably an optical illusion.

It is because it's counterweighted, that's all I think. You don't think it helps you.

But you can't fall right, So once you're up, you could conceivably lean against the rope. So like say you've gone up three meters, Yeah, could you then lean against the rope?

You probably could, but you're going to that's to one or two seconds gone. No.

No, But what I'm saying is I feel like it's helping them. I feel like the rope.

Is so I regon they've I reckon, they've played that loophole.

I reckon, I reckon that bamboozling us all I reckon. I reckon as a sport. So behind the wall, that guy set the world wreckord.

Behind the wall, there's like Oblix who's just like leaning back and just dragging this guy up.

Yeah, okay, I think I think three of his mates are over the other side of the road.

Yeah and yeah, just pulling him the whole up of the wall.

I've hoodwinked us as a global community only, I mean it's only the second time it's been in the Olympics.

How fast you reckon?

You hear get up that fifteen met war.

I could not get up that fifteen meter wall? Is how fast I could do that. I would die of old age before I ever got up that thing.

You know, I reckon, you're able to do it.

I have the perfect combination of fat and weak that would stop me from getting up a wall.

It is also, you know, on a five degree overhang, so like backwards, yeah, well five degrees.

It's slightly bad. I'd fall over looking at the thing. I reckon if I tried to. I know, I'm very acutely aware of how Yeah, I can't climb. If you were to design a climber, it would not look like me.

Nope, you're right.

Do you think you'd get of it like.

I get out at it?

Eventually, I reckon, But not in four and a half seconds or five seconds. No, no, no, no no, I don't reckon even in a minute. I regon not even two minutes. I reckon. I reckon. I'm getting the like sewing machine out, you know when you out there, and yeah, I reckon.

That free solo dude could climb El Capitan before I could get to the top of that thing.

Receiving old King Jillian can give the sky tower goo just on on the outside.

Yeah, I mean yeah, no, I think I'd need to pitch one of those canopies, you know when they sleep on the side of the hill for a night and they keep going two meters up you pitched. I'm boiling a jug another meter yeah, put the team down again.

She's gonna shut it down.

Of the day fellas, and I'm in the teen again, just and I'm up again.

I reckon.

It'll be like a four day exposition. I'm ordering uber eat sohile I'm up there as well, because I'm only three meters off the ground. Doing bull doco full Netflix it. I need to be my partner's just like ya. I just wish you'd stop doing it.

You know. It's so date.

We're gonna have a family one day, and I just need to start thinking about that four meters up.

The big back.

Yeah, so no, I don't think I could get up that well. The other Olympics last night was our girl Ramsden. She came Maya Ramsden. She came sixth, and it was the most and the fifteen hundred meters heats and it was the most hectic sixth finish that you'll ever see in your life because sixth was the cutoff for qualify, for automatic qualifier, and so she was. This girl was in sixth. There's about ten meters between her and the person and fifth. Our girl was another ten meters back.

Yeah, they were hauling ass though those last ones.

But that's quite. That is quite.

That's fifteen hundreds brutal because they have I think they have two heats then a semi in a final like you've got to run the fifteen hundred like three or four times to make the final, and I.

Reckon it's the most brutal distance. Oh fuck, that take it from me. I know, but I know a thing or two about running.

Right, Yeah, yeah, you run, run a couple of half marathons, run a couple of half baths, right, one enough when you overran.

I don't know if you know much about it. I ran about twenty four k's in the first one. I don't know if you know about much about how the metric system works. But that's a lot of fifteen hundreds, all right, So I know a thing or two about the fifteen hundred. But if you ever ran it at school, it's the like lactic acid. Yes, it's the king of the lactic acid build up. Yeah, those hundred meters. Dudes, they'll run two to three in a night. You're not

Yeah. Is it the court to their quarters or straight to Seemi's. I don't know.

I just remember there's always a hell of a lot of them.

Yeah, too many and it's and it's hectic as well because you're in there just mixing it with people.

And these people shovening, pushing.

It was one of them. Did you want one of the heats where they started screaming at each other? Yes? I did see that was that was great And a lot of pushing and yelling. Yeah, that's thing. To mike them up, oh one hundred percent, that would be great. All yelling at each other in different languages. Even making up the sprinters would be good because I'm sure they're smack talking. Not while they're sprinting, no, but at the start, oh big time.

Yeah, they're sting.

It be funny.

I wouldn't thought.

So you're going a hundred and you're fucking smack talking talking ship the whole way down the track.

Uh. In off field action. Luana Alonso she has she is a Paraguayan swimmer. She has been asked to leave not just the Olympic village, but Paris as a whole and probably the country. What she's back in Paraguay. Now, what she did was she showed up. She's twenty years old. I think it's her second Olympics. She bombed out in her heat and then retired from the sport and then went back into the village and was just presumably I'm reading between the lines, presumably just on the past from there on out.

I can't imagine she's the only one.

No, absolutely not.

So why she been picked on.

The official line from the Paraguay and Olympic team was that she was creating an inappropriate.

Environment.

Environment an inappropriate environment is what she was creating. So yeah, Luana Alonso is both her name and her Instagram handle.

She must have done something terrible because there is a lot of athletes that go out in the first week.

They was saying that she was distracting other athletes who still had yet to com pete, and I think that part of it is also that she retired from the sports straight away, so I think they were like, oh, come on, so you knew you were going to do this, and we flew you out here to Paris to bomb out in the semi final and then walk around in the in the Olympic village.

God bless you, Luni.

I mean, you're you're welcome it in the New Zealand accommodation anytime. I'm sure the New Zealand seven Steam me and seven steam were welcome out.

They've been there for a couple of weeks now, yep, just on they have.

Yeah.

So apparently part of the issue was she wasn't wearing the team kit around the village, and also that she was sort of starting to overstay welcome. She's distracting out the other athletes. They said, you have to leave the village. Yes, So she went and put herself up on the Champcelsa in a hotel there, went on a shopping spree, was still hanging around the village. All right, that's it. You're still distracting all the athletes. You now have to leave Paris,

Like Fernando, like Fernanda.

Yeah.

Like, so I go and search that to search Luana Alonzo like Fernando Lonza.

You'll find it.

Ok.

It is time now for it is a Wednesday, despite the fact that I thought it was a Tuesday because it took your toself. It is time then for a halfbake sports idea, half b sports idea, And I think that today's will be the dumbest half bake sports idea that I've ever unleashed white something and it is it is that England are going to waste us at cricket this summer. And that is because if you have a look at Afghanistan at the most recent World Cup, they

Political issues going on.

Two hundred and fifty people killed in riots in Bangladesh. That equates directly to cricketing success.

Okay, that is one of the stupidest things you said, is it?

Or the most famous victory that we've had over England was only a few months removed from the Wellington riots outside Parliament with our tearing cobblestones out of the floor and throwing them at people. Well, that was only about six months before we then turned around in Wellington and one one of the most historic Test match victories of all time.

I can't you can't count that tense city best as a riot. Surely it was just a fucking bunch of unemployed and unemployable.

And so I'm calling for cricket fans across the catch right, this is if you want the Black Caps to win this and start throwing some rocks, get out there and cause some civil disobedience, get into some good trouble. Let's start a civil war if we're serious about this cricket thing.

There. I know this thing, the stuff that's happening in England is it's outrageous.

But there is one hilarious piece of video of an old, bald, white supremacist guy yelling at the police and like banging on these shields and he gets.

Hit from behind by a brick thrown.

By one of his own and he kind of goes oh, turns around and kind of goes for and then just gets one from straight in the nuts and he drops down on one knee and he says, under friendly fire is coming lef right and said, it's one of the most poetic pieces of footage I've seen in a long time. If you haven't seen it, you'll be able to find it four times good.

It's just something so funny about the way it happens in slow motion. Yeah, blah blah blah. Anyway, Yeah, I think England are in for a hell of a summer cricket, So Bangladesh and about it.

Let's put this into the archive and replay it again. And when we do the hot take time machine, yep, and replay it again Wednesday in mid December, when the Third Test is over.

Yeah, and in between then we're going to start a civil war here in New Zealand, maybe a bit of north first south.

It's just good. That's good on it.

That's good, honest fun, good honest civil disobedience. All right, let's take one more quick break. We'll come back with yours please.

Yours please, brought to you by Leader Home of.

The been brought to my attention that one of the ones that I put in for today was actually played out yesterday, and it was the guy talking about how do you drink water?

How do you drink I've just bought a water bottle in an attempt to h drate more. I drate more.

Yeah, so do you just buff that whole bottle or you just no? It's a leader, so it's unbiffable. But I go, I'll go half their bottle in one go. We're about to go to beer fist. You're saying you can't puffer leader. I'm saying I could, but I'm not sitting beer fist pace every time I drink water.

But I may need to start training.

You're right, that is a good point, So that one's the button, but will have been that excuse me first call here?

Yours, hey fellas, are just a little fact check here. Yesterday you said that Dominican Republic is beating US per capitol Dominica, but they actually have a million eleven million people. I think you might be thinking of Dominica, you uncultured fucking swine. Okay, fu booking North.

Yeah, we did change it.

We got corrected by someone else that it was Dominica, not the Dominican There.

Were four messages waiting in a books this morning.

I know and look Dominica, Dominica Republic. You know tomato tomato, like, come on.

What's going on with it?

Also, don't don't pretend any of you guys that affect chick does that.

You fucking knew that before. Correct, there's Olympics, googled it. You didn't know that exactly. You're not walking around with that fact in your head. Yeah, in fact you, but thank you for you miss.

The Dominican Republic shits half of the island with Haiti obviously.

Yeah, really hat another call here your spirts.

Great yarn about the Turkish shooter, even if it was clearly bullshit, mainly because there's not many Turkish ladies called Sharon. But I still loved it. And I would love if you guys could make up some more about random athletes and see if I could spread them before some miserable kill joy fact check. Everyone's the fun for everybody. Also, Moti games not sport, get rid of it. And I love water. I reckon, it's great.

There you go, there you go. That's the water debate. Do you you do enjoy water.

Enjoy is not the right word.

He he covered a lot there, Yes, in that thirty seconds.

I think the first point was the most salient.

We need to for every medal that we win from here on out, we need to come on here the next day and just write a completely bullshit article about them.

Read it as if it's facts. Here's the backstory on such and such.

We miss the real trick with Fin Butcher because I feel like he would have loved it, in fact, did we Let's do it tomorrow.

I have heard a great story about his upbringing. Oh really yeah, so we'll do that tomorrow.

Okay, great, Yeah, I think this is something we need to bring in for every metal that we earn and just complete complete bullshit. See how long it takes Burmers to catch on and take it on Facebook, particularly on Facebook. Nice story, guys, but maybe chicky fact before you read them out into a podcast.

Don't come to us for actual facts. Another call here, you're swizz Yeah, good a fellows. Two things right?

First, one speed climbing pretty good addition, But how mercenary and boring? Why can't we just have like twelve athletes just try scale all up the Eiffel Tower first one up the top to the observation deck gets gold medal.

Easy.

And second thing is the track.

How good is it?

But I'll tell you what is a sore thing to watch is when the athletes line up and do their punishing little Fortnight dance when they get introduced.

Yeah, the King Kong does sound appealing.

Where you just get all the athletes and whatever city it's in, you climb the tallest structure and you get to the top and fly around biplanes around the top.

You gotta grab a biplane.

Twenty sixteen at the top of Christ the Redeemer. Yeah, Rio, Yeah, that would have been delightful. I don't know what they've got in Tokyo. Presumably got Tokyo Tower. Yeah, yeah, the Tokyo Tower. Oh see, that is a brilliant idea. And then you just have the medals there waiting on a rack. It's the first person to come and grab it and put it around their neck like it's the amazing race.

Yeah. And then you just got to lean back like full King Kong and just give it that one.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a great idea. I think that's a good idea.

Man.

The Fortnight dances, We're not going to get away from that. Unfortunately, there's only going to be more of it.

Yeah. I enjoyed the purple track though, that's that's really mixed it up. Purple track is cool.

I think what we're going to see over the next year, and I already know I'm going to do it too, is the Swedish pole vultue. I think you won, and he has celebration. He's put the old one hand in the pocket and then did the old Turkish shooter celebration. I'm going to do that to celebrate anything that I achieved. It's the Turkish shooter, the Turkish shoter.

Yeah.

I think that's we're going to see a lot of that will be sick of it quicker than the Hot Tour Girl, the Career one more yours Pace.

Get an.

I was just listening to some older gender podcast and I was wondering what Julane's thoughts are on the bro job and if he's done any bro jobs lately. Cheers love you, Glane.

The bro job.

Look, I've done a self job, but you know we're talking about we're talking about I'm talking about the same thing here with a bro job. I am, I am.

I think I pitched this as a promo idea in my early days, just the bro jobs, just for Men's Health Week. Yeah, it's just about men helping men. Yeah, and sort of just two dudes just looking into each other.

Hey, doing man do a bro job?

Yeah? Everything okay with you give you made a bro job?

How's everything at home?

And then one of the dudes just slowly goes down out of shot and it cuts the black and white bro job.

It's men helping men.

Didn't take off, didn't it?

Nah? I say, I couldn't find a sponsor for it.

I thought there was going to be a little bit more wholesome than what you went with it. I thought it was like men helping men do jobs. So like you come around the house and do jobs, you know what I mean? Maybe do some earthworks. Maybe that is exactly what I meant. I mean, what did you think I meant? Well, the head disappearing below the shot? He disappear or yeah, the bro job. I'm a huge fan, if you want to do it. I don't think I've partake and a bro job myself, but I hey, I'm still young.

H Yeah.

I don't say no to many things.

I don't even know if we're talking about the same thing at this point. Now is as good as times can? We knock it on the head, knock the single that motherfucker Head. We'll be back tomorrow for a throwback this day. That's the gender podcast Ceiling.

You've been listening to the ACC's Agender Podcast, brought to you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and follow on iHeartRadio form you get your podcast