The Adventure Zone Royale: Episode 1

The Wizards Gather. Eight. Oh eight. Fu Okay, I got it now. I got it. All right. Shut up. The wizards answer eight by eight the cornclaves call to demonstrate their arcane gift, their single spell They now sixty four until a conflagration sixty three. And sixty two they soon shall be, as one by one the wizards die, Till one remains to reign on high.

Hello and welcome back to the Adventure Zone. I don't know why I said back. This may be your first season. I don't know you. I don't know you from Adams Off Ox. This is Griffin McRae. I'll be your dungeon master this season. Joining me, as always. We got my brother, Justin. What's up, Juice?

Hey, what's up? It's me, Justin McElroy. So happy to be back with you again on the Avenger Zone. Another great season lined up for you. I'm in my head now that this is the first season someone's listened to and now I feel like I'm doing this way too. You should go back to the beginning. So uh dad was born in Ohio. Uh nineteen thirty one. Nineteen fifty five. So clear fifty five.

August of fifty five. I guess we'll do things out of order. Dad's also here. He's still he's still still playing, still rolling. Dad Macle roll. Wait, what order were you going in? I don't know, man. Rolling. A lot of people doubt aware there was a lot of theories that you weren't gonna be in this one, but you were here in. Yeah. Well every time I post a picture on Instagram, people think it's a death notice. So you know, man. Maybe I've dodged that bullet this time.

I've held off on making like thoughtful Father's Day posts just'cause I'm so worried that someone's gonna Absolutely it'll clock like that. Uh we got Travis on the ones and twos. Yeah, I'm up in the mix. Hi, it's me. I'm playing this season.

Yes, you'll be playing. I will be GMing and everyone will be having the time of their lives. Um I wanna start things off. With a few sort of um clarifications before we we get started with Taz Royale. First Even though our last experiment in modesty, uh which was uh Taz Abnimals had no cursing in it, this one absolutely will. Now you don't know that. Yeah man, you don't fucking know that. You don't know that. Bastard. Bastard bastard.

Bastard people. Um so th if that is something that is a consideration for you, um, then you should stop listening. Um no don't keep listening. Yeah, keep listening and expand your horizons. Learn a thing or two. Uh second thing, uh as we have kind of announced, this season is our All Wizards Battle Royale style season. I know some people have uh some worries about a sort of like PvP campaign. I wanna be clear before we get started. This is Battle Royale, not in the um the Fortnite.

sense the battle r the I mean I guess literally the movie Battle Royale sense where it's a you know, everyone's killing each other all the time. This is more of a competition, a squid game, if you will. Uh A lot of people died in Squid Game. A lot of people got down on Squid Game. Uh people died in Squid Game. Sorry. I I said a lot of people die in Squid Game. So I'm not sure. This is more like physical one hundred. This one's only got sixty four people in it.

Okay. Are you trying to clarify the number of people that will have their earthly lives snuffed out? Is that the clarification? If this is Magical 64, which would have been a way better name for the season, but we already got all the key art made for it.

Um last thing, today's episode, uh just to sort of set expectations, uh, we're gonna meet our characters and we're gonna learn a little bit about this world and the fold. and the conclave and I want to be really clear that I was planning all of this before the Pope stuff happened. Yeah. That word was not really highly in circulation Conclave until recent um movies.

I thought in the intro you said cornclay. I wasn't gonna I wasn't gonna say anything. You are so lucky that you told us to hold our tongues. 'Cause I could feel a psychic wave when you said cornclave that all of us want to be like, Oh please, just one quick I just want one kernel of truth I want to add to that. You're making fun Of an accent right now. Do you feel good about that, Juice? You're making fun of an accent right now. You feeling great, right? Feel feeling big, feeling tough.

I'm throwing old big stone through my glass house onto me You sure are. A frightful big stone indeed, Governor. Let's begin.

The velvety padded doors of the trial chamber swing shut behind you, ceiling with a bright green arcane. You turn away from the door to face the room before you. It is a cramped octagonal space carved of white marble, nearly featureless save for the large numeral one set into the floor.

Positioned at the center of this room, immediately above this carved one, is a chair made of woven white birch sitting in front of a wide column, and a figure has been carved into the A young man, his arms crossed before him, all white marble, save for his eyes, where two cloudy discs of onic. Uh and as you enter the room and approach this chair and this young man carved into the column, you realize this figure is nearly identical to a younger version of yourself, Rictus Ravenwood IV.

Describe rich disputation. Uh a high elf. Um he is a moon elf, so he has uh bluish skin. Um and he is dressed uh pretty uh traditional goth ideals. But everything is in a neon palette. I've been envisioning it like if you went to like a roller rink or a laser tag place in the late nineties. Yeah. He has uh neon green hair kind of swooped down over his eyes. Uh a lot of like neon orange.

fishnet and he's wearing a like neon pink, neon green tie dyed uh tank top. You guys are gonna change clothes like as soon as you get in here. So like don't spend so much time on that. Like you're gonna get a new shirt. Yeah, and he's very gaunt. And when you say traditional goth, are we talking uh sort of necromancer fantasy style or are we talking about um like maulgoth? Like maul goth.

Um Rictus, you enter this room, you see this statue carved into the column in front of this chair that looks like a younger version of yourself, and you hear a voice uh call out from no sort of discernible direction. Uh you hear it say, Please be seated. Lower any psychic defenses you may possess. Is there a chair? There is a chair of white woven birds. Uh sorry, ma'am, just sit sit in the chair. Speak up please. Sorry, uh yeah, sorry, uh d this chair the the wood the woven one?

Aspirant, there is but one chair in the room. I didn't want to assume. Sorry, sorry, man. Yeah. Uh, and he sits in the chair. Uh there is a brief fanfare of horns through the wall. Voices Welcome to the Trial of Divination The first of the Conclave's eight trials and the first magic received by this world from the mother realm. Divination is the study of secrets divulged and received as you enter these trials the eight arch wizards of the octave would seek to know you completely.

All you must do to pass this trial is reveal to us your past and present, and in exchange, we will show you a glimpse of the future that awaits the victor of this concept. Oh sick, man.

If you consent to the terms of the trial, gaze into the eyes of your stone figure, and we shall explore your past. Should you refuse, the door to the outside world will be open to you, and your aspirations shall be forfeited. Uh Rick just gazes as hard as he can. Okay. Are you are you sort of you start to feel immediately a um a sort of psychic influence upon you. Uh the the fold, the world where this story takes place is is an extremely magical place. I assume all of you as practitioners

uh are are are familiar with at least sort of what it feels like to be under the effect of a spell. This is happening to you right now. Um do you try and resist or give in? Uh this is m his his grandmother is a divination person who um does

Yeah, a lot of everyone's got a divination grandmother. Yeah, everyone's a divination grandmother. That's gotta be official. And she uh doesn't have a lot of like personal boundary uh conceptions, so he has had to put up with this a lot. So he's very used to it and he's okay with it.

We're gonna need to talk about Rich's relationship with his grandmother at some point. In the world of the fold where our story takes place, everyone has bestowed a single magical talent from the moment of their Not everyone discovers the spell, which they and they alone have been granted, and fewer still are willing to spend the thousands of hours of study required to truly master their one arcane ability.

Uh as this divination magic scans through your past, Rictus, its focus settles on one of your most poignant core memories. You remember the moment that you discovered the nature of your uniqueness. gift. Take us back, Rictus, to the moment where you discovered your one magical spell as we learn a little bit about your character. Uh Rictus was seven years old.

Um from birth, basically as soon as um, you know, he was able to like sit up, his family uh there's a lot of pressure. It's a family of necromancers. They put pressure on our baby? I mean basically they started like um looking for the magic to manifest. Um I guess if everyone has a power, as I just said, there will be a Jack Jack situation every now every now and then. Well, and like instead of like toys and stuff, he was given a lot of like uh dead body parts.

to see if he would animate them. His father is uh a baron of uh an area called uh the crossroads and the breathless fields. Oh mine too. Cool. I didn't know we could just say it. Sorry. So there's and he is the only child. I have two barren dads. Awesome. Both my dads will be like. My mother is barren. All right, next. He is an only child as every uh Ravenwood Baron has been because of the blessing curse.

Deleting sibling NPC names? Yeah. Let's go back in the hopper. He hasn't had a lot of experience with other people, so Rick just doesn't know. if seven is like a normal age for it to manifest, but with the pressure on it, uh it happens. And so Rick just is sitting at the table where he sits most days to practice under his parents' watchful eyes.

Uh with all these like sickly um you know woodland creatures around that he's kinda being pressured to test his power on. Uh okay. I like that you're sitting at a desk, seven years old, little rictus ravenwood the four. Wha a desk filled with um dead critters. Uh your mother did she have a name? Or may I? Uh go for it. Your mother, Somna Somna Ravenwood the doesn't have a number. That would be wild.

Somna Ravenwood is just kind of like perched on your desk staring at you, uh her face still uh like a uh almost a creepy mask, uh so intense is the You may not know other kids who are living sort of a similar life as you. I think even uh with that sort of isolation that you uh experience, you probably have an inkling that this is pretty intense for seven years old. Seated in the corner in a rocking chair made out of bones, reading a newspaper made out of bone. Rick Dis Ravenwood III.

That makes so much sense and I'm so glad that you said it in the tone you did, because that's exactly what I deserved. Rictus Ravenwood the third sitting reading his bone paper. And over his shoulder is the ghost of Rick Dus Ravenwood the second. Uh-huh. And over his shoulder is another smaller ghost of your great grandfather Rictus Ravenwood the first. That's and they called him the first too, which is fucked up. Um well with the blessing curse he knew he would have a son.

Yeah, cool, your mother says. Again Rictus again Remember we want the life spirit to disperse from the object. Do not think of it as a dr a draining like drinking a drinking Destraw it is a it is a dispersal Rictus. Okay. Again. Uh oh I do I can we take a break? We will take a break after your five hundredth murder. Now begin. You're at one hundred and twenty six. We're gonna have a long afternoon, Rick Disney.

Okay. And he places his hand on the like a sickly chipmunk looking creature. Um maybe a chipmunk? Well, but it's not quite I mean, in the breathless fields everything's Like fucked up. Yeah. I like that. Okay. And he grimaces and like beads of sweat, you know? And then there's a sickly green kind of glow. And when he moves his hand, the chipmunk is like fully dead.

Somna leaps up, shouts Ha ha and your your father, um Baron Rictus Ravenwood III, uh Baron of the Crossroads in the Breathless Fields, uh hops out of his bone rocking chair and comes over, uh, puts his hand on his sh on your shoulder and is Wow, son. Amazing work. D wait, did you crush it with your hand or was this an honest necromantic spell? No, it w yeah, it was it was the spell, um

Oh mother, he's done it. I'm so proud of you, son. And look look what else. And Rick just moves his left hand and there was another chipmunk under there and there's like uh a pink glow. And that chipmunk is healed. your spell that Rictus Ravenwood the Fourth possesses, uh Since this moment and practiced onward is wither and bloom.

Um specifically a slightly weaker homebrew version of Wither and Bloom in the first level, as you are all level one wizards as we begin the game. Your mother looks confused. your father uh leans down and picks up this chipmunk that you just brought back to life and he says, uh, Oh, um Rickus, what what is what is this? Well, I so you were talking about the life dispersing and that seemed like a bit of a waste and so I thought if I could take from there and give to there, it would like balance.

Yeah, a little bit more. Somna faints uh and then stands up and then faints a second. And then she climbs up double faint back onto the desk and says balance? It is not our family's job to be concerned with balance by By ensuring the death and entropy of these lands, we are balancing. W life is not our domain, Rictus. You must forget this part of this spell, and just kinda do the first half. But it's but it's possible. And none of the bringing back to life.

But it's it's connected, right?'Cause like the the you know, like it dies and would fertilize the thing, right? And then it grows. So this way Somna faints in the middle of your explanation. Um Your father the Baron faints too, like sees it sees her faint. Did the ghost faint?

Um, all but your great grandfather, his ghost, who you think like nods at you, but his ghost is so small right now. So old. And as we all know, as ghosts get older, they shrink down and get smaller. Yeah. Um Your father stands up and says, Okay. Um we will continue practicing this. I'll call in some of our uh some of our experts uh in the field. Uh I think we had a a a great

grand uncle once, uh, whose magic was also a little weird, so I I could find his body and reanimate him, ask him five questions. The ush and um i i listen, sport, um It is a little bit weird. kill and not revive, and we have a certain reputation to uphold, and the the barony has a reputation to uphold, but it's nothing to worry about. I will ensure that your

Little Snafu gets uh uh ironed out. Uh but let's not go ahead and cast that any more until we figure this thing out together as a family. Isn't that right, Mother? Uh she's still she is asleep. Uh yeah. So remember it's a secret.

Your since his return, Rictus, and you are back, sitting in the first trial chamber. The statue that resembles this seven-year-old version of you that you just saw begins to rumble as its right arm slowly descends. Extending its hand out in front of you and from the walls of the room that voice calls out again and says Aspirant, by your participation in the conclave, you wager the very magic that brought you to our door. Should you claim victory, your power will grow an unimaginable magnitude.

If you agree to these terms, grasp the hand of your effigy. So if I win, then I get more magic, and if I lose my magic goes away? You understand the term? More magic is a reductive way of referring to the power that you will be afforded, should you wish. Uh we prefer Mega Magic. We prefer servo magic. The only trademarkable one was Uber magic. With uh but you have to do an oom lot or you'll get sued by Uber. It's Uber magic. What do you do, Rick?

Rick this thinks for a second and then like half under his breath. Seems when And grabs the hand. Is that what he's supposed to do? Yes, you grasp the hand of your effigy. Cold hand before you and a silent moment passes, and then those black onyx eyes begin to rattle before emitting a blinding flash of brilliant light.

Justin Ready yourself. I'm prepared. I'm ready to pretend. Brace your ass for imagination. In a separate but identical trial chamber, you release the enormous hand of your stone effigy, having agreed to its first condition. Its arm raises back up to cross its chest, and then the entire figure begins to rumble as the column into which it is etched slowly rotates as it grinds to a halt. You see a different feature.

is now facing the chair in which you sit, a chair that you still don't quite trust to fully support your considerable frame. This figure also resembles you, not from your distant past. But as you are today. Justin, please uh describe and introduce And I saw this name for the first time this morning. Loravith, Dream Wanderer, Gonjibon. No well technically Loravith Gonjibon Dream Wanderer. It's just the way the sheet mi mixes it up. So what one one mo again, please.

Loravith, Dream Wander, Gonjibond. Well, wait, you just said Dream Wanderer is the last name. So Loravith. Dream Wanderer, Gonjibond. That's what we're settling with. Yes. We're going with this. Yes. You want Gonji Bond to be last name, or do you want Dream Wander? Well, it's it's uh I think it's more appropriate for looking at Goliath culture for Dreamwater to be the middle name on Jon's lap.

Yes. Do you are you stuck with are you settled on Loravith being the first name? You could be Gonjibon Loravith Dreamwind. No, no, Loravith is first. Okay, great. Fantastic. Uh okay, describe your uh your Goliath wizard for us. Uh Lorveth is uh approximately seventy. Uh looks kinda like Tom Hardy, but uh a a lot grayer. Um and uh got uh the markings on his skin. Goliath have these uh skin modelling. Some people must say for tattoos, but it's just uh more of akin to like a birthmark.

And uh it's just a uh uh and he's uh wearing some leather armor. Uh pretty pretty simple but well uh you could tell it's well used. It's been through a lot. Uh And uh yeah, that's that's his that's his story. What uh what kind of I don't know what uh Goliath Age. looks like. Um so I guess not a specific number, but what sort of era of his life. You uh he would look to be uh someone in the sort of later prime of his life. He's not a young

Young guy, but he still seems full of uh uh vim and vicar. Okay. And Tom Hardy I do just wanna make clear is five foot nine. So okay, so like if you can use the power of your imagination for a second. To imagine a big Tom Hardy. Yeah, dude, I mean, grab the corner of the Tom Hardy. Grab the corner of your Tom Hardy window and just like hold shift. Just hold control T to trans.

You don't actually have to control anymore in Photoshop twenty five. Okay. It defaults. Okay. It's like I'm just giving you a tight man. Tall Hardy. I get it. I love it. It's good. Tall Hardy. Um You look up at the face of your giant white marble figure.

Um having having just explored them your your past, the moment of your power's arrival, you hear that voice rumble through the wall. The Archwizards of the Octave thank you for revealing to us the events that shaped your past. Now we would ask you to show us your presentation. Your life as you know it now in the days leading up to your arrival at this conclave, if you consent to this request, gaze into the eyes of the statue before you as before should you deny.

the door to the outside world will be opened for your retreat. What do you do? I I go for it. Yeah, no hesitation. You look upward and look into these eyes and see the uh the onyx begin to uh become very cloudy. Um I I ask you. I give into the psychic spell. I'm not fighting it at all. Great. Your senses are consumed once again. The eight archwizards Are the supreme power of the fold in more ways than one?

From their mighty floating zigorot in the sky they police the use of magic of the world, sharing whatever wisdom they decide the inhabitants of the lands below are ready for, they are a secluded land. Never revealing themselves to the lesser wizards of the fold, but legend of their comprehensive grasp of all magics are known by all. The Conclave is held once every few generations, when one of the eight members of the Octopus

The details of what happens during a conclave are unknown to any living person. Similarly unpredictable is the date that a conclave would be called, given the octave's general illusion.

Uh Loravith, I want you to describe what your day looked like, the day that you received your invitation to the a little slice of uh what a uh just a normal day looked like before sort of everything changed. Uh there are four stumps and they're in a quadrant. A big square, probably uh about ten yards separating each one. Lorvis stands on a uh the a smaller stump about six inches off the ground. Uh there are other Goliath perched on the other stump.

uh in in a sort of like quadrant around him. Uh he is standing with both hands extended out and a Goliath across from him. Who we know to be Norris? holds a big ball in the air and is getting ready to chuck it at Lord. Okay. I don't know what's going on, but let's You're playing we're playing goatball. Goatball wonderful.

Yeah. Goat ball goatball. Wonderful. Let's uh let's get a uh I are you trying to hit this but what's gonna ha you tell me what the intention is to happen next. I think it would be fun to roll for sports just to really get this season started off on the right. I'm ready, Norrin. At any moment, toss the ball, I'm ready. It's been your sixth sixth attempt. Sixth attempt in a row, Norrin. Please give me the glory of a seventh.

I'm definitely going to hit you with it this time. I I You're You're attempting so uh go ball, we're attempting it's like a dodgeball kind of deal. Okay. So you're attempting to catch it. Or get pegged, but don't fall off. Okay, I got you. Let me try that again then. Never mind, I forgot the ruse. Get ready to get pegged. He's gonna launch it at you. Um

Maybe just a dexterity. I think a dexterity saving throw, or perhaps just athletics, right? This is a sport. I think sport. I would say athletics. Okay. Uh The that's actually what I think you would actually roll in the rules for a goat goat ball success. It says I'll show you some maps later if you want to do it. Nine plus three is twelve. Um with a twelve you are able to

And grab this this ball out of the air. You sense that he didn't throw full strength because he's still not a hundred percent sure what the rules of goat ball. And I sympathize with Norrin on that. Um you now have the ball A fine attempt, Norrin. A fine attempt Am I out? Noran, now, now, Norin Now I get my chance at an unprecedented tenth victory. And then I'm gonna chuck it. Not at Norin. Oh fuck. But to the left. At Zapah. Shit. Oh never seen that classic oh it's so good.

My oh my we didn't see this one coming. We're gonna roll and see how Zapos. I mean Zapoth gets an eighteen. I and I okay, but I'm gonna need advantage because Zapoth was not expecting that. I set up the whole thing. That's a fair point. You get a round of surprise on Zapoth as he uh tries to dodge out of the way with his athletics check. Uh, which is s just a nine, sadly. Zapath goes, How did you say spff Why is the ball so hard? Zapath food pick an alakamune, you have embarrassed

Your tribe All right, man, it's just goat ball He gets off his stump and walks away. Am I I'm out, right? Ha ha ha. As you are uh playing uh this game of goat ball, um you hear a rustling in the uh in the trees, uh just outside of the clearing where the goat ball field is set up. Um and you see a team of um non-goliath uh human elf half-elfized

uh in school garb. Uh and some of them are holding uh what look like bats uh in their hands. Uh there's some some uh balls with weird holes in them uh and You see a uh an a figure approach you uh wearing one of these uniforms, and he says,

I'm terribly sorry, uh Loravith, but it is time for uh Softball League. I will need you and your friends to please clear off the field. Haha Of course, actually, the challenge of this was becoming a rather disappointing. Um I need you actually to speak with the groundskeeper. We've been doing some uh remodeling, uh some renovations, um and so we're moving some stuff around and so I uh unfortunately we will need to move the goat ball field.

A little bit deeper into Spider Fang hollow to make room for the new library wing. You uh retrieve the ball. And stand back on your stump. Norin says Can I ch can I just lit out get out, get myself out?'Cause it looked like you really hurt Zapath with the ball and I'm uh not trying to Zapath was only hurt because Zapath did not catch.

If Zapal had caught it, Zapal would have the galor today. Okay. But I it did look painful and I uh actually and then I tossed the ball myself. All right. Uh actually Norrin This is a fun we're having. The game is I've the game is over. Oh, okay. I I won. So when I said the victory, I won the goat ball game with the the last.

Okay. You look over on the the fourth stump at Gracon Root Picker, the closest thing you have to a rival here in your Goliath tribe. Grikal, did you see? Your brother Agvek, his record has been shattered by Lorovith, Dream Wanderer Gonjiban. Yes, I'm sure you feel very accomplished. Beaning's apart.

A a goliath that a human child could defeat in goat ball if they were large enough to lift the goat ball. I would have tossed it your way, Gracan, but I would have been too worried about shattering your delicate bones. Well are you challenging Krakon? Very well. Gracan is a bit big. How how magical are the the Goliaths? Like I said, every every sort of like being

Goliath are obviously like physically pretty dominant. Right. And so they do not, as a rule, uh tend to go into the like the magical arts, I think, or focus on that. I think that For the Goliath in this world, I think that the ones who uh have focused on their talents and tried to work on them are the ones who uh For for whom it could have some practical

Okay. For the tribe. Something that they could do like do to help. A handful maybe of people on your on your tribe does. You know what I mean? Or something or like not even a big part of the their their day-to-day lives. Um Gricon says, I'm terribly sorry, Laura Vith, you did besmirch my pride with that comment. I and now it is my terms through which we shall uh put this grief aside. I'm afraid I need you to return to your stump for a sudden death lightning round of goat ball.

It would be my honor, Gracan. And I slap him on the shoulder as hard as I can and and head on over. Okay. Uh he uh takes the goat ball from Norrin, who then just like runs off into the brush. Check for crying, roll for crying? No, I don't think Goliaths don't cry. Oh wow. Yeah. And it's like a real problem in the whole society. Pretty toxic. Um Gricon takes the uh takes the ghost.

Uh-huh and rears back to toss it. Uh in your direction. Uh he hums it, but good. Gricon is a big beefy fella. What do you do? Uh I am I mean I'm gonna roll athletics against it. Okay. It's like literally all I can do. Oh my gosh, what am I What a moment. That's two plus three five. Uh the goat ball smashes uh into your face. Your hands are just a little bit too slow and you go wobbling backwards uh off of the stump. Um And you take two points of blood. Yeah

Your friend throwing a ball at you so hard it one fifth killed you. I mean, can you even imagine? You're seven feet tall and your friend throws the ball at you so hard. You're a fifth more dead than when I have this idea of like, what if it was a battle royality as an all wizard starting at level one? And then I looked at your guy's HP and I was like, This maybe was a bad idea. We are made of gelatin.

You are gelatin boys. Uh as the ball kind of rolls to a halt next to you, uh Gracan yells, I am not yet satisfied. Uh it is your ball, Laura V Mm. Excellent. All right, I've returned to my post. Okay. Goliath is very competitive, but cheating or any sort of like trickery or anything would be super uh out out of line.

So I'm not trying to like reinvent the wheel here. I just gotta keep taking my chances. That's a one. That's actually a na a a a a one that I rolled there. Um you This was not supposed to be a defining moment for this character, but it's like he's he's now failed so badly now, I it feels like a trajectory, like a a some F path of destiny has been forged here by his terrible, terrible inability to be Gergon at Goatball.

Um, and you you put all the m the mustard on it that you could handle. Uh he sighs and says, I'm sorry, this is just not sporting, it's not doing it for me. Uh

Perhaps just a normal battle would suffice. And he holds up a hand towards the sky, and as he does so a chunk of earth. rips out of the ground and he says, Let's see if you can catch this and he hurls it at you. Cool. Okay. Excellent. Uh I will cast lightning luke. Uh to create a lash of energy that strikes one creature in front of my choice that I can see within 15 feet. I'm gonna use lightning lure to try to deflect.

Uh, are you aiming at the stone or are you aiming at Gracon? I'm aiming at the stone. Okay, cool. Um make your uh make your attack roll here. Okay. Or is this a save? Maybe I could just be against maybe the role is against Gracon, but the you know Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, okay. Gracon will uh try and make this strength save. We're trying to beat strength twelve. Um that is a uh nine. Uh your lightning lure. Uh what's it look like? It's like a uh uh looks almost like a wisp of frost.

Like a a uh a breath that you exhale when it's really cold with more ice crystals in it and it kinda crackles with what could only be described as a dark electricity. People have tried to describe it a different way. But it's impossible. You can't try. Some things are more than words. Some things you really have to see. Obviously, Griffin, my words can't do a judg justice. I won't even try. You have to see it to believe it. It's it's like trying to describe like a sixth dimension, Griffin.

Sure. My mind can't possibly get it. Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon, Griffin? This is what uh no, not uh not to the blue corn cleave moon have I heard the wolf cry. Your lightning lure whip. through the rock, uh splitting it dramatically, the two lobes of uh this chunk of earth uh roll to either side of you.

Um as you prepare a counter or to brace yourself as Gricon leaps off of his stump, uh the battle, which has now drawn quite a crowd, Interrupted by a discordant eight-toned horn sounding from above, and all Goliath eyes look upward to the flying island with the octa ziggurat. On. It's blocking out the sun, casting a shadow uh over the the Goliath uh village here. And surrounding this this floating island, 64 pinpricks of light.

in the sky over the structure, uh whirling in a circle around the island before dispersing and falling to the ground like meteorites. And Loravith, you see an eight sided crystal soar towards where you are standing, and as it approaches You're holding your breath. You see it uh zooming towards you before curving at the very last second to land in the hands of grace. Picker and he looks down at it, looks up at you, and just bellows a big hearty look. And he says.

Ah perhaps we should put our petty squabbles aside. It would seem the gods have chosen the victor for us. So what happens then? I mean, I'm just watching you got this crazy crystal. I'm on I'm on pins and needles over here, Griff. The crowd assembled uh walks forward, uh, and they begin to peers at uh at Gracan.

uh to some sort of kneeling uh this is a momentous uh occasion. Uh and then there is a whizzing sound that cuts across the crowd and Instinctively, because of the goat ball you've been playing, you reach up your hand and catch. an identical crystal from the sky. And Gracon looks up at you with shock and uh a a little bit of malice. Well, Gracon, it seems you've spared the lamentors the work of exiling you. he stands and says

Fuck you, dude. Here's what he sa Here's what he says. He says come back because Moravan says, first of the conclave wins! No wait, hold on! It's not for two days! Um you take off running.

uh towards the meeting point described on the crystal. And now z uh this this scene, uh whatever magic is sort of like uh going through your your memories of the past few days, it zooms uh forwards uh leading up to your ferrying uh across the crystalline still waters of Loch Reach, where the Octave Ziggurot and its artificial surrounding island had sort of temporarily died.

uh and uh it th this vision goes through uh the the moment you sort of passed through these sixty four stone archways uh carved into the underside of the island, uh and then through your passing through this padded door, uh sitting down beside your stone effigy, exploring your past. And then you have the like really disorienting feeling tha as your memories catch up to the present moment, uh leaving you back in the seat, facing your marble doppelgang.

As it slowly extends its hand and you hear the voice say Aspirin. By your participation in the conclave, you abandoned the world and its ways as you know them. Within these walls truths concerning the fundamental underpinnings of the fold itself will be illuminated too. You will never again walk the world in the manner you are accustomed after understanding the world in this way. If you agree to these terms, grasp the hand of May I say one thing first?

Go right ahead. Gracan was extremely lucky that day. I want it made clear. Eight out of nine times I would have caught both of those. He was extremely lucky and there was a great deal of suffering. Uh there's a pause. You hear um Should you have chosen other memories, you would have seen a much different scene. This is all I wish to see. That voice pauses for a moment and then you hear it say It shall be very exciting to watch the two of you squash your bees.

That's what he says? That's exactly what he says. He says squash your beef. Yeah. But that's like a Goliath term. It's like not it doesn't mean it literally means like hitting each other's. Like it doesn't mean what it means on the thing. Two meaty men slappy men. Two big meating a lion smashin' beef. Smash and earth colored meat. Um what do you do? The statue's hand is sort of stretched out in front of you, asking you to go. Uh I give it a big meaty firm handshake. Okay.

You reach forward and grasp the the stony hand before you, and a silent moment passes, and then those black onyx eyes begin to rattle and again emit a blinding flash.

Mm-hmm. In yet another separate but identical trial change. You release the hand like appendage of your stone effigy, um, having now agreed to its first two conditions. Ah, and once again the statue's arm grinds back upwards over its chest as the column at the center of the room rotates. Revealing a final version of you, and this one is sort of the most uh startling. It is an older version of you, but not like

Uh, worn down and weary looking. You know how some people get when they get a little bit older? Do you know what I mean? I have no idea what you're talking about. Do you know what I mean, but then sometimes Dad as the body ages, the light leaves the eye is um the I choose not to accept that inevitability. Okay. That's good.

That's good. Uh talking about me. Uh you're being very kind. Thank you. Yeah, I see. I okay, I see it. This is this is wow a not a frail version of yourself. This is this is in in uh in many ways, this is you Perfect. You see carved uh onto your body are robes etched with these meticulously drawn runes. One thing about this this particular effigy.

Uh while the statue is is still carved of white marble like the others with the onyx eyes, uh it is also wearing what looks like a gauntlet of finely woven leather that reaches up past it. Uh elbow like joint. A real gauntlet, not uh a part of the carving. I keep saying uh like hand like and elbow like because uh the the figure you're sitting before is distinctly not human. Uh so dad, can you describe hellgram it and introduce your character? Yeah. Uh Hellgramet is a thykine, an insectoid race.

Um walks on two legs, has two regular arms and then two smaller arms beneath them. He also has a tail, like a scorpion, like a scorpion stamp. He is uh he has a of course a carapace w is it chitin or chitin? I guess it's a little bit. It's uh iridescent, it's kind of like It depending on how the light hits it, kinda orange or gold. There's a little bit of green in there.

Um and uh you know, big, great big eyes, couple of antenna, mandibles. Love it, of course. Instead of a mouth. Uh gotta have the mandibles. That's mandatory mandibles. Yeah, sure. Um That's why they're called And he is one of the script which is uh kind of the colony Of Thrikeen that he uh he belongs to. Amazing. And which one of those aspects, Dad gives you heroic inspiration to start. This is the first one. He's oh he does have heroic inspiration.

I see that you've marked it on your sheet. She made a character so good, you're like I kicked so much ass. I'm gonna give myself a point of interest. He's inspired by himself. I don't know what you're talking about. There's no intraheroic inspiration on there. That's so great. Okay, uh Hellgram, you look up uh to this this carving of your perfected uh sort of insectoid form, uh and you hear that voice rumble through the walls once again, and it's

The octave thanks you sincerely for your vulnerability in these matters. You have but one more vision to face before concluding the trial of divination and Well, this one's everyone's favourite. It is a vision of one possible future the one that awaits you. Atop the Ziggurot should you outlast your three score and three competition. If you consent to receive this vision, gaze into the eyes of the statue before you. The exit is also available, but you'd be off your nut to leave at this point.

That can't that's not your voice, right? No. I thought Dad, you have to understand when you told me that you're playing uh uh th insectoid trikein and you were like, get ready, I thought when you went That was the voice you had chosen for the character for the whole season. But no, that would be very difficult. Sure. I I think uh Hellgram is very hesitant.

He he's not that trusting a soul, but eventually he does look into the eyes. And do you resist the psychic uh force that you feel uh upon you? Hm b in for a penny in for a pound, no. Okay. Bring it on, Hoss. You look up into the eyes of your effigy, and you are somewhere very far away now.

This world the fold is dis defined by its magical. Uh it is a place where everyone to some extent possesses some supernatural thing that nobody else can do. Uh you, Hellgramt, like every other aspirant here, uh, you are familiar with the like flavor of magic, like what it feels like to break some uh some physical rule of reality. In the vision you are experiencing, where you have claimed victory. and become one of the all powerful opportunities.

This vision you are feeling, it is not this usual flavor of magic you you you know. This is something completely different. You feel a touch of godhood. Uh And right away, uh you you have the thought that uh it you know, this vision is making the power that you wield, the spell that you have sort of practiced uh furiously, uh feel pointless and insignificant.

Uh it is a trick. And this is not a trick or like a repertoire of tricks. This is a a communion with the primal energies of magic. You can quite literally do anything. You've just won. What do you do? Hell Grammet uh returns.

to the scritch. Returns to the colony From whence he came. There are are just like describe where the sc the scritch live. Is it a hive situation? Is it a h a hive more of uh it's almost like um uh an ant hill. It's I mean it's Massive. Uh, and he goes into the tunnels. There are all these different chambers. Uh, as we'll find out, this is where he got his start. It just as one of the lowly uh worker scritch tending to the eggs in in the nursery. They w they were called the bled.

These workers. So he was he was one of the bleh. Okay. Do you have to say it like that? Bleh bleh. Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. Um but now seething with power as he walks through the tunnels and the passageways, the the other script Are drawn to him. For some mysterious reason, just kind of follow him. I mean not for some mysterious reason. I should make this clear.

Um, you are now one of the octave. You are one of the eight archwizards of the realm. You are um not strictly a god, but I I think thought of very much uh as a a conduit to uh you know some sort of divine magical power and the fact that a Thryken uh has won the conclave, it is like I mean it's the it's the end of a Star Wars movie in here. There's jubilation and and uh fireworks and uh instruments made out of mushrooms and shit. Um people are very Your return.

So he uh he actually followed by this this mob uh walks into the chamber of the queen. Huge, great, big, gigantic chamber. And the Queen is being tended to by smaller scrids. Fussing over her and Hell Grandma walks right up to her, but then turns his back on her. Well And addresses the crowd and says, Um, Brethren and sister, Scritch. I come before you a changed individual, I am here seething with power, with magic. Lots and lots of it, like a buttload of magic.

And I feel it is time for the script. to attain their place in this world. I am going to share this magic with all of you. I am going to elevate your power, and we can take our place as a mighty race. But before we can do that, I must have the mandate of all the script. and to gain this mandate and he turns back to face the Queen, and says We must overthrow the matriarchy. And make me.

The King of the Scritch Without uh sweating your uh intrusion here and the mob that has formed the Queen of the scritch, the brood mother, a uh a massive sort of indeterminate insect, um Queen Larvosa.

um gestures towards you and says Seize him uh and suddenly a moment later there are uh a dozen soldier. uh all wielding uh spears, all uh wearing the uh armor of They're defeated insect enemies. Uh, they all charge you and uh try to hold you still with their their spears. What do you do? I am going to repulse them. Actually, I'm going to incapacitate them. I don't want to kill anybody. Uh well, what spells does he have at his command? You can do anything.

You have control over all magic that has ever or will ever exist. Um, I if you d we don't need to stick to uh five E rules here if you don't want to. I mean or if you wanna show showcase your, you know, talent or whatever. Um It this is this is an opportunity for you to do whatever the fuck you want. I am not going to worry about Make Water.

Isa and I am going to turn to all these soldiers and mentally command them put down your weapons and stay your hand. There is there is no resistance at all. They all uh they all drop I wish not to use this power on the rest of you. I want you to come to me willingly. Throw off the mantle of being drones. And rise with me, friends. Um a little AR you with me A little flea man raises his hand.

Um uh it's uh sorry, um aren't you mind controlling them right now, which is kinda like drone drone business. Um I wish not to control you, my

Friend, I want you to come to me willingly, and if you say yay, you will be the first of my converts. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, let's go. Oh, you're in. Let's go, baby. You're in. He hops forward. Juice me up. What's your name? Tyler. Haha, it truly is a bug's life. Tyler Flea What about the rest of you? Uh what about the rest of you? David. I'm Ralph. David.

I'm Godzilla D rules. Uh they all approach. I mean this this this mob was following you at first with like uh almost sort of fan like uh fervor and now it has definitely morphed into something else. uh they see uh this this flea man supplicate himself to you uh and how thoroughly you have controlled all these uh soldier ants and like everyone just walks forward and is just trying to sort of touch the hem of your garment.

uh and Larvosa, uh, from the the dais on which she has sort of settled, she laughs and she Elgrammet, hellgrammet, once again controlling the bugs. Your society that you plan to build is not a righteous one, Hell Gramit. You only know control only know how to control the bugs. This is no ant farm, Hell Gramet. So you do not willingly surrender the crown to me, am I correct?

Um make an intimidation check and I will give you advantage because you're a god man. Bug. Use your inspiration, Dan. Use your heroic inspiration. Well, there's uh 11 And there is a twenty, a dirty twenty. Um dirty twenty, okay. She Reaches up with one of her many long, spindly limbs and plucks the crown up. And she starts to hand it towards you and then she says Would you show me one last time the infestation Algramic? Why, yes. As a matter of fact.

I will. And he concentrates, and from his hand comes a swarm of of smaller insects kind of swirling around, hovering in his hand, like a mini tornado of Uh she looks up at it fascinated and She slides the crown over to your feet. And then she looks up at you, hellgram it. And It is very strange because you to some extent know that you are having this vision, that you are seated in a room in the past, um, and and just sort of like witnessing this.

But as she looks at you, Hellgramet, you get the sense that she is looking at you. you looking at this, you get the sense that she is staring intently at the you that is seated in this room of uh the the trial of divination and she says And you chose this.

You gasp and regain your senses as you break eye contact with your perfect effigy and the voice calls out and says Aspirant by your participation in the conflict. You invite death's shadow to fall upon you. You are extraordinarily likely. During these oncoming trips. You may lose your life. But what is that word? Now that you know what your life If you agree to these final terms, grasp And like a bird. He immediately grabs it, right away, no hesitation. As suddenly as you grasp it.

There is no flash of those Onyx eyes, as uh was the case during those first two sort of agreements. Instead, Just as quickly as you grab the hand, the effigy's hand grabs yours, but the stony fingers wrap around. The leather strap. That makeup is gone. that your effigy is wearing begins slithering like snakes off of its arm. And onto your arm, starting to sort of weave and reform this padded glove and these woven bindings tightly around your your wrist and your forearm. And then you see

round leather plate rear up over your elbow. And as it does so it reveals a thin metal probe. on its underside. And the way that it is reared back, th the the way this uh needle uh is glistening, it is quite similar to uh a scorpion getting ready to sting. And it slams down into your elbow and your ulnar nerve, your funny bone, lights up like a Christmas tree, and you lose consciousness immediately.

When the three of you awaken, you are lying face up on a soft carpet of grass, peering upward at a cloudy afternoon sky. As you rise, you see your fellow aspirants coming, uh coming to all around you. 64 wizards. Lie in a semicircle on the central lawn of the ziggurat, uh, all facing the building's central structure. It is a tiered fortune. uh a hundred yards wide, built from uh smooth grey stone that curves and slopes.

uh inscrutable angles. As you marvel at your proximity to to this place, the very seat of the fold's magic. You also notice as you sort of glance in your periphery that the island is no longer uh floating in the waters of Loch Reach. Uh it apparently took flight during your slumber. The island is sailing through the air.

And remembering your slumber, you inspect your arm where indeed a leather gauntlet has been fastened quite snugly. Uh it's a beautiful, beautifully crafted piece of of light armor with one strange Uh on the back of the glove is a hard plate dotted with these metal ringed holes, and you identify them as mounts or settings for gymstones.

Uh which is a conclusion that you all draw as you realize that one of these holes has already been filled with a a cloudy white stone uh about the size of the state.

You look up from your gauntlets as a door slams open from one of the higher tiers of the ziggurat, and all sixty-four heads snap to attention as eight figures file out. The eight archwizards of the octave hold. above you all, and a bald, wispy man, clearly the eldest of the group, uh steps forward to the edge of the tier, uh and his regalia is just flapping in the wind, and he's Welcome, Aspirince. I am first octave Oceum, and I am pleased to welcome you properly to the congress.

As I look around me I feel a great peace knowing my replacement shall be chosen from such a capable assembly of All sixty four of you have passed the trial of divination, as is customary for these conclaves. You have all agreed to the terms and conditions of this contest, as has every wizard who has ever been invited here. But now it is time for the second trial to begin, and this one, historically, is unpleasant for her aspirants.

We have arrived at the moment where our warnings become manifest. And the wheel meets the road. You must steal yourselves, wizards. Your very survival depends upon it. And immediately Oshum is Silhouetted in bright red light as the clouds far above the ziggurat explode outward in a circle, forming these concentric rings of clouds across the sky, like ripples uh following a stone's throw into a lake. And right where the clouds are.

From. You see a fireball the size of a city block emerge and begin to fall in. Maximum Fun, a worker owned network of artist owned shows, supported directly by U.S.