The Adoptee Next Door

The Adopted Life•angieadoptee.substack.com

There is something temptingly tidy about the idea of adoption: a family with extra love and resources meets a child in need of both. The Adoptee Next Door takes the listener beyond the sparkly fairy tale of adoption.

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Last refreshed: August 16th, 2025 at 7:05 PM ⓘ

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Episodes

From Unadoptable to Unstoppable

On this episode of The Adoptee Next Door , Patrick opens up about the profound challenges he faced growing up in foster care, from being labeled "unadoptable" to enduring multiple placements. He shares his emotional journey of self-discovery, the moment he faced his case file for the first time, and the painstaking process of reconciling his past. Through his experiences of homelessness, recovery, and his mission to create change for others, Patrick embodies the power of resilience. His story ch...

Aug 04, 2025•44 min

Let's Read "You Should Be Grateful" Together!

If you’re reading this, I already know something important about you: You care. You’re willing to engage with adoptee perspectives in a way that so many people aren’t. And for that, I’m deeply grateful. Because you’re here, I know that you understand that adoption isn’t a simple “happily ever after.” You know that love is important, but it’s not a substitute for racial identity, community, or space to process loss. But, perhaps you haven’t gotten around to reading my book, You Should Be Grateful...

Mar 05, 2025•1 min

Patrice Martin: How Long Lost Family Went High, While Other Adoption Media Goes Low

(Yes, the episode title is derived from Michelle Obama's famous line; "when they go low, we go high!") Television influences public opinion of adoption. It's easy to see the influence shows like Annie and The Blind Side have had as they highlight the savior tropes and downplay or ignore the adoptees journey of grief and loss. To my amazement, Long Lost Family seems to buck the trend! This show (which aired on TLC from 2016-2019) focuses on reuniting adoptees with their biological family. In the ...

Dec 13, 2023•51 min

Alexandra "ALX J": Transgender adopted teen discusses race, adoption, and LGBTQ intersectionality

Back in 2016, Angela had 12 year old transracial adoptee Alex, as a guest on her web series, The Adopted Life. In this episode, Angela reconnects with Alex, now a 17 year old transgender woman, to discuss adoption, the intersections of LGBTQ culture, and how quarantine provided a silver lining for Alex's transition period. You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee. Get full access to The Adopted Life at angieadoptee.substack.com/subscribe...

Dec 15, 2020•51 min

Tiffany Henness: Could The Book Of Psalms Help Us Rethink The Fairy-Tale Adoption Narrative?

Angela talks with Tiffany Henness about the surprising grief she experienced during her pregnancy and childbirth of her two biological kids. As a Christian she challenges the fairy-tale narrative about adoption and wonders if Christians may be use the book of Psalms to think differently about helping children through adoption. You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee. Get full access to The Adopted Life at angieadoptee.substack.com/subscribe...

Dec 01, 2020•44 min

Kristen Garaffo: Everyone Just Assumed I Was White

Kristen and I talk about her identity as a white-passing Latina, adopted from Paraguay to Washington DC. The first time Kristen and I chatted she told me that she has only recently begun identifying as Latina. You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee. Get full access to The Adopted Life at angieadoptee.substack.com/subscribe...

Nov 10, 2020•51 min

Torie DiMartile: Amy Coney Barrett and the White Savior Narrative

Over the past week it's become clear that most U.S. Americans view Amy Coney Barrett’s transracial family as noble, good and representing all things decent. However, transracial adoptees have a different take. It seemed to showcase white saviorism and virtue signaling. Torie and Angela discuss why the Supreme Court nominee's comment was so polarizing and why conversations about transracial adoption are so divided that even hearing directly from transracial adoptees, isn't enough to counter the d...

Oct 20, 2020•53 min

Jay Johnson: "What Is a Late Discovery Adoptee?"

The impacts of being told that you were adopted late in life are far reaching. One Late Discovery Adoptee (LDA) says "It feels like a cruel joke. Finding out that you are adopted late in life destroys part of your identity and turns your life upside down." Some parents think they are protecting their child by not telling them. However, finding out as an adult is undoubtedly a shock and for many LDA's they can't help but wonder what else their parents' may have lied about? But Jay sees it differe...

Sep 29, 2020•48 min

Maya Holmes: Is Same-Race Adoption The Answer?

Angela speaks with Black adoptee Maya Holmes, who was adopted by Black parents as an infant. Maya shares her perspective and challenges Angela's assumptions about racial identity formation for black same-race adoptees. You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee. Get full access to The Adopted Life at angieadoptee.substack.com/subscribe...

Sep 15, 2020•36 min

Nancee Winslow: Who Would I Be If I Hadn't Been Adopted?

Angela speaks with adoptee Nancee Winslow, about nature vs. nurture, reuniting with birth family members, and adoptees feeling the need to prove they are "well-adjusted" with their adoption. Nancee shares a powerful story about the moment she told her 4-year-old son that she was adopted, and his emotional reaction. You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee. Get full access to The Adopted Life at angieadoptee.substack.com/subscribe...

Sep 01, 2020•50 min

Tony Hynes: A Black Son with Two White Moms

Tony Hynes is a transracial adoptee, and was adopted by white lesbian moms in the mid 1990s. A judge told his parents “A white, same-sex-headed household is not the right household to raise a black child in,” and at the age of 7, Tony was asked to choose between his birth family and his adoptive family. Tony and Angela discuss racism and homophobia in this podcast. You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee. Get full access to The Adopted Life at angieadoptee.s...

Aug 18, 2020•43 min

Jessenia Parmer: Did My Adoption Give Me a "Better Life?"

Angela speaks with transracial adoptee; Jessenia Parmer about the need for more mental health awareness among adoptees. They both address the fear and courage it takes to challenge the mainstream positive narrative of adoption, by acknowledging stories of trauma and loss. You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee. Get full access to The Adopted Life at angieadoptee.substack.com/subscribe...

Aug 11, 2020•34 min

Sam Collier: “She Can’t Have the ‘Mom’ Space”

Angela speaks with Black adoptee; Sam Collier about the complications of reuniting with his birth family. They discuss Sam’s new book “A Greater Story” and why he considers himself to be “rescued.” You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee. Get full access to The Adopted Life at angieadoptee.substack.com/subscribe...

Aug 04, 2020•43 min

Introducing "The Adoptee Next Door"

Welcome to The Adoptee Next Door! This podcast will feature conversations with adoptees revealing unique insights about racism, religion, immigration, trauma, and the many layers of unconventional families. Hope you join us for Season 1! You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee. Get full access to The Adopted Life at angieadoptee.substack.com/subscribe...

Jul 25, 2020•3 min

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