Rachel Cruze. She's a great speaker. She's an amazing communicator, and her book is called Love Your Life, Not Theirs. And so Rachel, welcome back to the show.
Thank you.
Why this book and why right now?
Well, you know, I have found you know more than ever, I feel like social media has made it easier for us to compare ourselves to everyone else. You know kind of gives us this picture into everyone's world. And so I find, you know, with statistics, and as I go and talk to you, well, people are struggling with their money, but we don't see that side of the
picture. Literally, we don't. And so really, with this book, I walk people through seven money habits for living the life that they want, not what everyone else is living, but the life they want to do it without debt, without stress, without worry. And so that's really the theme through the book. It's kind of
this comparison thread. But I also walk you through seven money habits to get you to the point where you can use money as a tool to help you do the things you want and do the things you value.
There's some really damaging habits that we develop. And you already mentioned the big C word.
Yeah, comparison, right. It's like the word that everyone is in battle with, I feel like, on a daily basis, and, yeah, and it's just very dangerous, because what ends up happening is that comparison not only steals our joy, but it feels our paychecks as well, because we end up spending, you know, gone, awful amounts of money to keep up the lifestyle that we think everyone else is living, but we're missing out on because that lifestyle is what we're seeing on social media.
And just like you said, I mean, like, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, it's the new cars, it's the Christmas gifts, it's the vacations, it's the first class airline seats. I mean, whatever it is, it's like, it's constantly it's everyone's highlight reel. And so if you are gaging your life via social media, and you're like, Okay, well, this is what this person is doing all the time. Their life looks amazing all the time. You know, the filters they're using makes everything even more
beautiful. I mean, like, the whole bit. And what we have to understand is, like, that's not reality, that's not the entire picture. And again, going, you know, after years of research and studying the topic of money, I know that people are struggling with money. So I see a brand new kitchen that's redone, you know, granite countertops and new lights and like, that's what I see on Facebook. It's like, Joanna Gaines went in and waved her magic wand, and it's like, it's
beautiful and it's a redone kitchen. But I know on the back end, how many remodeled homes do that take out a separate mortgage? And so I've just had to look and say, Okay, it's not all reality. We don't really know what's going on behind that picture. And so that's what people have to focus on. Because if you try to make your life as great as someone else's on social media, it's really it's never going to happen. Comparison is a battle no one's ever going to win, and it's
true. And so we have to remove ourselves from from that perspective to say, hey, I want to focus on my life. Put the blinders on and say, What's best for me and my family? What are things we want to do? What are things we value? And how do we use our money as a tool to get us there?
Let's get into the practical in terms of, you know, what are some of these habits that somebody's listening right now that they can, they can start doing immediately, just to maybe lower the stress level a little bit and get on the right track?
Sure. Well, the whole comparison, you know, quit the comparisons, is one of the habits in the book. And so talking about that, I think it's an important one to start on, because to be able to be content in life, you're going to be able to win financially so much faster than when you're discontent. And so finding that contentment is kind of your level playing field, and you're never going to be content if
you're comparing your life to someone else's constantly. So I say, you know, the action point on that is gratitude, and that word embodies so much. But I have found in my own life that when I'm grateful and my heart is filled with gratitude, there is no room for discontentment and comparison and to start there and just be like, You know what I'm going to I started a gratitude list on my phone, and so every morning I try to type
down just two things I'm grateful for. And it's such a good exercise for me to really start, you know, my day, and really my perspective on this idea of, okay, hey, I'm great. Here's all the things I'm grateful for. I'm gonna start there, and then from there you can build and so another habit is you'll make a plan for your money. You have to be the one controlling your money, not your money controlling you. And so a
plan for your money, really a budget, is what that is. We can go got the B word, because no one likes that word, but it is. It's a tool to help you get through the month and be able to make sure all your necessities are covered and to plan out. Hey, here's what I want to do for fun, but you're doing it with a plan, which sounds boring, but really what it does is a limit. I mean, a budget, it doesn't limit your freedom. A
budget gives you freedom. A budget. It really gives you permission to spend and so putting that habit in your life where it'll jump start you, I believe that the gaining control back with your money when you're in debt and the bank is basically controlling your life, financially speaking, you know, car loans, credit cards, student loans, it's just this constant, you know, the lender is there. You don't have many options in
life. And so when you don't have choices, you don't have options, anything that seems gratifying or satisfying in the moment you gravitate towards, and it's like, oh my gosh, I want that new TV or I want that one that you find yourself a little bit more under the desperation column, I would say, because financially, you are when you're living paycheck to paycheck because of debt. And so when debts freed up and suddenly
you'll owe anyone anything. You suddenly become less impressed with with everyone else around you, in a sense, and because you have the option, you have money piled up in the bank, and you can say, I don't really need that. You know, you know, you're able to make choices and make decisions more with clarity, versus being all fogged by the stress and the burden, really, of debt.
What are a couple of the other things that we can do to continue down the journey here?
Yeah, well, we kind of touched on it earlier, but it's but it's true the whole debt discussion. And so one of the habits is steer clear of debt. And what does that look like, practically in your life when you don't use debts in your life? How are you able to take vacations? How are you able to, you know, I hear so many people say, Well, how can I, you know, grocery shop and buy organic but still do it on a budget, basically meaning like, how do I live my life still and, well,
how do I do these things? Because so many people depend on the avenue of debt to get them what they want right when they want it. And so what does it look like to not have that in your life, not only to get out of debt, but to continue to live
a debt free life. And so the huge element of this, there's another habit that I talk about that says, talk about money even when it's hard and money is interesting within our relationships, and when you and your spouse can get on the same page about money, it changes so much the unity in your marriage is strengthened. Your hopes and your fears and your dreams are
all come into alignment together as a couple. And this whole conversation with money around, you know, spouses, but even parents to their kids, even, and I've seen and talked to more adult children talking to their parents about money, because their parents, you know, they don't have a will. They don't have these things in place. And so what do those conversations look like? And so really, the relationship aspect of money is a habit that we all need to form, and it's hard. Sometimes
it's awkward. I mean, being able to make this a habit in your life and your marriage just is so healthy, and so walking through that is key.
So I want to shift the conversation a little bit here. Can you just, like, share a little bit of what it was like, kind of growing up in this whole world?
Yeah, I think some people assume, like an extreme case, that we had, like, mutual fund parties and, you know, budget meetings and camps on the weekends and all this stuff and and really, that wasn't the case at all, mom and dad, they were nowhere obsessed with this topic. They were not obsessed about it, but they were intentional. And so, you know, when it came down to the principal aspect of money, you know, they really just taught us, really on the ebb and flow
of life. It was nothing fancy, it was nothing glamorous. It was just like, hey, you work, you get paid. You don't work, you don't get paid. Okay, you work, you get some money. What do you do with it? You get save and spend. And so they kind of just walked it through really basic elements of money. And I think the most important new thing, thing they did for us when it came to our money, but also, I think of our lives. One great thing as a parent, as parents, they did was they let us make
mistakes. And for me, that was so key, because I think you learn so much from from those mistakes, and yet you can learn without making mistakes, and see other people's mistakes and be like, Okay, I don't want to go down that road, but especially when it comes to your money, to make these small, insignificant mistakes with money while you're under a roof, and it's under a controlled environment, versus being out on my own, making my first mistake, you know, when I'm 22 and it's on a car lot,
and it's a 10s of 1000s of dollars mistakes instead of a $10 mistake. And so they really were great at that. They were not this, like these controlling parents that, you know, watched every little penny. They really let us learn. And sometimes that was hard, and sometimes that was good.
You feel like you're planting a flag here and in this space. Does it really still fire you up? Is it something that you've adopted as part of, like, your long term plan to be the next generation of financial literacy?
I think so, yeah. I mean, I'm so passionate about those subjects, and I love it. I love my job. I love being able to travel and speak and talk to people and do media and really insert into people's lives again, the subject that is so hopeless for so many people and so shameful, and so being able to bring that light and that hope and that direction and that instruction is, I do i i love it so much, and so I'm intentional
with the decisions I make and work. It's not that I'm aloof to it, but I really am, you know, just seeing what happens at the next at the next phase. Yeah, if it were up to me today, I would definitely say this is this will be in my future for many years to come.
That's cool. And so the final little thing, Rachel is just, if somebody's listening and and maybe they haven't done such a good job of filtering what they see on social media, what would you say directly to that, to that one person?
I would say that it's never too early and it's never too late, no matter where you are today, no matter where you're starting on the financial spectrum, whether you're deeply in debt or even if you've you're out of debt and you have, you know, a million dollars in retirement, wherever you are on the spectrum, you can still do better with money, day in and day out, starting today. And I look back on my story, my
parents filed for bankruptcy the year I was born. And so if they can come out of it and raise a family that is out of that tradition of debt and have changed their family tree, anyone can. So don't let your past mistakes hinder your future. You have to start today. But that's the thing is, it's going to be hard. It's going to be challenging creating good
money habits in your life. It's going to take some time, and it's going to take some pain, but pushing through, being consistent on the on the other side of all of this, it is so worth it, because money will not control you any longer. You will control your money, and you will have the power to be able to say, You know what, these are the decisions I want to make,
and you're going to be able to do them. And so again, no matter where you are on the on the edge of bankruptcy or all the way up, if you feel like you've gotten your life under control, just know that every day, day in and day out, you can make a difference in your life, and you can make different money choices to help you get to where you want to go.
Rachel Cruze, my friends, Rachel Cruze, keep doing a good thing. You're making a big, big difference in the world.
So appreciate you having me on. Thank you.