2023-01-26. Proverbs

Ziti and Ford Advisors, that is the name of this podcast. It is about sharing good advice. My name is Paul Ford.

I'm Rich Citi.

are gonna share some advice. You know what? rich, You and I tend to talk about our stuff and careers and all this stuff. Way too, way too much, way too much. We gotta, I wanna take it all the way back. All the way back to like what advice really

all the way you wanna take it up

up up in altitude and

Back, back a hundred or

thousand years,

fortune cookie type thing.

Kind of. Yeah. Like I want to read you some Proverbs. I want to read you some classic advice from. around the world And we're gonna talk about it.

it. That sounds amazing.

I'm gonna lead with the best one because, you know, people might stop listening after five minutes, so let's just get in there. Let's do it. Okay. Scottish, first of all, the Scottish have the best proverbs. They are a grumpy people and grumpy people come up with good aphorisms and statements. All right. Ready? I'm not gonna do a Scottish accent because, you know, I've, we,

that's inappropriate.

I've been to all those training seminars. Um, dead men do. no.

Ooh, unpack that for me.

Well, I think what it means is if you are alive and you are active in the world,

you'll do

some damage

no matter what.

gonna make mistakes, you're gonna screw up, and you know what else

what?

That's just the human condition. You're just, until you're. dead, You're gonna keep breaking glasses and causing thing, causing problems.

What you're saying is wild to me because the way I heard it was in the context of advice, which is if you don't want someone to do harm, kill them.

That's the Lebanese version. of this proverb. The, the Scottish, yeah, the, yeah. No, no. The Scott,

Okay. The kinder interpretation is, mistakes will be made.

There's another great Scottish proverb that, That's related to this, which is, um, you might as well be happy now for you will be a long time dead.

Oh

no. These are real, right? Like, I actually

I just, I'm just seeing a gray sky and some whiskey getting poured into a

But you're wearing, You're wearing a red kilt. and it is pretty outside. You got those big those hills. It's green.

It's very green. Yeah, it's very gray and it's very beautiful actually. I, I, I, I'm not, I, I do love the beautiful tropical sun, but man, there is something beautiful about green and gray. I love those days too. Uh, strangely. Yeah. Um, the Scottish and the Lebanese are gonna have a divergence here of interpretation. No doubt.

Yes. But I love this. I like the, the. reminder, Right, which is, because I think we, we talk a lot in our e every day. You go on Twitter and the assumption is that you have to find ways to exist in the world where you do absolutely no damage in it of any kind, anyone. And The reality is I don't think there is such a way to

exist and try to be happy. I

and try to be happy. what I do like to do, what I, do, a way to think about this right, is like, okay, dead men do no harm. Okay, but how do you mitigate and manage the, you know, you, you you, by existing, you're. going to Cause a mess. I'm gonna, I, you know what you're doing right now, even though you're a good dad, I've watched you be a dad. You're still messing up your kid

a little bit.

gonna grow up and in the year 2045. Be like, I love my dad, but he didn't know the first thing about moon launches and here I am living in the moon colony. and

He could have helped me out here and gotten me ready.

He never had, He never cared about. anything lunar, you know, and you'll be like,

Look man, the job application of perfect parent is kind of an, it's the impossible, right? Like, we're gonna do the best we can and we're hoping to end up at like above two thirds good like in the scale of good to bad, we just wanna cross 66%. And then there is a point where it's like, okay, free will's kicking in. Uh, he's getting better at lying to me. Uh, and so best of luck everybody.

I'll tell you there is, If you want to see the, the most broken humans or the perfect parents and their children, like, it's just,

it's a tragic, tragic, I I, I went to a gymnastics class recently.

Oh yeah.

And, uh, it was just a, it was, it's casual. My daughter does it, but there happened to have been tryouts for like preteens at the same time. It's a big gym. And let me tell you, the clench. Fists amongst the parents as the tryouts were happening. It was so intense and it was not joyful. Like, they're dancing, everybody's dancing, there's music playing, no one's having fun. And you know, the, for a lot of parents, their kids are, um, 2.0, right? They're trying to like, okay, I got this far.

so much talent.

have so much. Yeah. And

you

wasted. And the joy gets kind of tossed aside, right? That that's, that's the thing,

Ah. it's that, it's that. So, So, you know, dead men do no harm? So, you know what, I

Man, you started in dark.

Let's get out there and do some harm. My

Yeah. Are you gonna gimme one, like about eating vegetables? At least lighten it up a

Oh wait, do We get to the Lebanese one. Uh, here we go. This one I love, Empty Vessels make the most noise.

Ooh,

See, this is my, there is nothing. Proverbs are actually the most brutal form of literature.

I mean, if I could turn that into a wrap.

Yeah, I know. It's exactly right. And then an

Break that one down.

I

mean, I, I feel like I could take a crack

I, I'm, I'm, I'm looking at your fancy coffee mug right here with the top on it. Um, first of all, objectively, if you have, if you drop like an empty pot, it'll metal canister. It'll make a really big noise.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay. The person who has absolutely nothing within them. Is the one who will make the most screeching, will cause the most distress. and, And so, on and so forth. the person who is internally has a lot going on is probably gonna go keep working on their stuff and they'll be able to raise points, but the person who doesn't have a lot going on will yell and scream and create a lot of drama.

Yeah. I, I mean, and I'm gonna try. Throw that explanation back at you, uh, uh, without being cruel or mean or whatever. We, we do a podcast twice a week. Um, but we don't do it for approval or attention. Uh, it just happens to not be part of our personalities. Um, it's about sort of a self-assuredness, uh, when you say empty vessel, I just, I just ran to a conclusion around, okay, this is someone that has to market and promote themselves. Uh, to compensate. Right?

There you go, right? No, there, There may not be anything going on.

There might not be anything going on. And you know what? Believe me, there's always everyone's, I'm gonna be kind here. Pause, lemme say it again, but believe me.

everyone

has something going on. Like nobody has nothing going

on. Yes, that's, true.

I can have, I can have a drink with just about anybody.

All right. So

One drink,

you disagree with this proverb writer?

No, I don't. I think there are a lot of people like this who feel like they need to, uh, perform.

Make the, make the sound

to make. They, they need to make the sound because they feel like it's not enough. What they've got is not

I mean, here, this would be The lip, oh, go ahead. Go ahead.

I have a friend, you'll finish your story and then he will stare at you for like another five to 10 seconds.

Yeah. That's a rough five to 10 seconds.

it's a rough five to 10 seconds, but I don't think he's, he's not trying to like stare you

down. He's just not A small talker.

He's not a small talker and he's kind of processing what you just said. Yeah. And it throws you off. So what you, what I end up doing is like, okay, I'll give you some more words.

If someone is actually present and paying attention to you and really listening to what you said, it's incredibly. confusing. It's

Instead of talking over each other, which is normal,

is what we're doing right now. It's the most statistically unlikely experience. Right. I think, um, alright, so let me, let's, let's go to, the lev. let's go to the Levant. I'll give you some proverbs from, uh, from, from Lebanon. Mm-hmm. Okay. From the,

oh, boy. These better be nice. Paul. I'm Lebanese For the new listeners out there,

okay. Blood does not become water. Kind of a classic.

classic. Okay.

Okay. What's that mean? Uh,

it's similar to blood is thicker than water. Um, it is something very foundational, uh, in, in the Lebanese, but also I would say safely in the Middle Eastern culture. Uh,

family,

Uh, family is non-negotiable, foundational. Um, a huge part of your identity is not your own.

Non-negotiable is a fascinating term here because I'll tell you, when I first heard this proverb, I was a kid and I heard blood is thicker than water. It didn't make any sense to me.

Sure.

It's Just not, it's just not the way that we conceive of as family and I, I feel that like, and it family is negotiable in, in. Western society.

It's wonderful.

Well, Not all of them, but definitely in, in America. I

think. I think I, I'll give you an example. Uh, I immigrated here with about 20 family members in the late seventies and we started to learn about like colleges and how people apply for colleges and then leave home at like 18 years old, and that was absolutely alien to us. That was unheard of and insane sounding.

if you're a smart person in a village? in Lebanon and you're 18 years old.

leave. Okay. Many leave, but the, the. The notion of not, of leaving the family without getting married, and this is kind of just old school stuff, but also leaving the family and not supporting the family is the other thing. There's no retirement plan and off to Florida, uh, you're supposed to take care of your elders, but beyond that, it's about family. Now here's the, the, the flip side of that. The flip side of it is there is an absolutely. Hilarious building in Lebanon.

hilarious. Oh, no, no. I've seen, I've seen it. Don't unpause.

So blood is thicker, blood is thicker than water. Sounds warm and wonderful. My mother calls me a dozen times a day. You know this as well as anyone. And uh,

what are some of, I mean, actually let, let's talk about those calls cuz some of them are just checking in, but often they're just sort of

like,

you don't call me back. because

You're too fancy.

You're too fancy. Well,

five years, my mother thought that when she was leaving a voicemail, that it was like the voicemail machine from the eighties where I could hear it.

it. Oh, you're sitting there ignoring her.

Yeah. So she would scream out as if it's blasting out to the room, but it was getting stored on a cloud

the worst

server somewhere. This

This is just infinitely entertaining to you, like you're not,

it's entertaining.

not gonna stop this from happening. You're gonna

no, no. My mom will call me for no good reason and then we'll tell me you didn't answer on the phone cuz you're too fancy or whatever it

Got got got one more Lebanese for you and then we'll do a few more. Movement is a blessing.

Mm. That is me.

Yeah, it is, It's actually, but I, gotta say I work with, I've now worked with maybe three or 4 million Lebanese people, the entire population. of Lebanon. When you work with and. uh, It is a, as a culture, it is a lean in culture. Let's go. Men, women, everybody. Let's go. I'm gonna make the list. Here it is. It's on the screen.

I, I, I think they are. Uh, look, I think, I don't know how old the proverb is. Yeah. But I can tell you that Lebanon is, uh, does not have a long history of clear border. And stability

Sure.

It is essentially a, a gateway, a trade point between the Mediterranean and the East. And, uh, there's just massive, massive instability, massive uncertainty. And so if you sit still, Uh, you wither away. You are, you're vulnerable. Keep moving, keep figuring out The next thing, don't trust. Don't trust stability. Don't,

Kind of an irony though, given that we just talked about blood being thicker than water. Don't ever leave the village, but you gotta keep moving.

if the family stays together, there's a greater likelihood of survival for

Okay? So movement is a blessing as long as the whole family's moving,

family is a support.

I do like movement is a blessing. As a Movement is a blessing That's a good pro. Like let's get, let's get that. tattooed action

is greater than inaction is like something I say when I think strategically, like I don't know if it's right. I, the five things we're gonna do this week to help us get out of the situation we're in. Four may be wrong or maybe all five are wrong, but I know what's worse, not doing anything. So I just do stuff like that is that very much drives how I think about things.

is The cost of being. Here's what I've learned from working with you and I, I think that I have this instinct, but working with you made it really clear to me, which is that you talk a lot about optionality. I want as many options in front of me as

possible. Mm-hmm.

Okay. You don't actually, we don't chase every dream because that exhausts everyone around Mm-hmm. what you do is you put all the dreams up on the whiteboard and then you make a little bets here and there towards the different dreams and if any of them shows any progress you. double down And you double down, and then eventually one dream just becomes obvious and everybody forgets all the other dreams. Yes. Right. Yeah. We're seeing that with the product we're building.

And, and I think that if there's one thing to take away from our philosophical podcast today, it is that if you think you can plot it out in a document and get it all right, you're wrong. You need to go out. Um, I, I call it being, uh, strategically aggressive, tactically conservative. What I mean by that is just go, don't sit and write the long essay about your plan.

Movement is a blessing. We're gonna write that in. Movement

is a blessing. I'm going to get that tattooed across my.

forehead. That'll that, That'll be that'll be weird. Yeah. That's great. You're not gonna get on a plane again, after that.

Fair enough.

Okay, I got a

One more.

for you. Okay, go. Let's do two more at a great bargain. This is now we're in the world of older British and English Proverbs at a great bargain. Rich, make a great pause.

Mm mm. This is similar to if it's too, too good to be true.

be true.

Probably is. Yeah. I mean, yes. Yes. Um, do your homework,

phone plans.

Yeah. I mean, look, I was, I was watching recently, by the way. I'm gonna go on an aside here. I know we're not supposed to do this because this is the Audio Ford podcast. If you wanna know how the economy's doing, check to see if Paul Giamatti is dressed up as Einstein on the Verizon ad What

that tell you? Is that It's like the groundhog

I think he just got, he's got three kids in college and he's gotta do the ad.

He's on billions. He has choices.

I don't know. I don't know. Have you seen the.

Yes, I have. Yeah. can you avoid

He, he, there is no, uh, there is no period piece he can go do to reclaim his integrity as an actor. after.

know. Let Paul Jamati make a Little money. You

It's all good.

He, It's all good. I will say I, I do have to get another aside, which is Google buying out every bit of ad inventory during the World Cup.

Yeah.

it Was, because we were watching it on YouTube TV a lot, but oh.

I don't know exactly where it was. A lot. It

I saw the same pixel add about 36,000

of terrible actually. Yeah.

All right. We're gonna do one. more

Go

a full purse. Make it the mouth to speak.

If you've got money,

you just run your mouth, you know? ever Elon Musk.

Ooh,

it's real.

It's real.

It's real. People. You know what it is. Enemy? Look here, here's a podcast.

We do know wealthy people who don't talk very

But here's a podcast where two guys, sold their company and are running their mouths,

we were like, let's do the podcast twice a

we'll, we'll give Everybody advice? Okay? So, So we're as guilty as anyone. but, But I, I will say like I, in our defense, we don't have all the answers. As part of us sort of doing this is us kind of figuring out and unpacking what we've learned. There is something man. People get a dollar in their pocket and they know everything. They know how you should eat, they know how you should dress. They know what you need to do next. and they Can't wait to tell you.

Yeah. You know, I'm reading this a little bit differently than you.

are you? reading

Uh, I'm reading it as like power. Uh, if you've got money, then you get to tell.

others.

You d you get to dictate a

Ooh, I, think that's right. Yeah.

I'm reading it, which is like, if I, if I have money, that means I have power. And if I have power, you'll all pause and listen to what I say. Um, which by the way still applies to Elon Musk. I mean, it's the same thing. Um, there's a lot of people who've, in fact, it's a dangerous place because it's a lot.

of positive reinforcement of

of a lot of fanboy and girls telling him he's great and he's right. And then reality slaps him in the face. Right? I mean, that's, that happens when people, um, surround themselves. Putin. I mean, it's hard to sit down and rationalize the invasion of Ukraine.

There is a, there is a great quote. It's often attributed to Dorothy Parker, another proverb, and I, I don't actually think she originated it, and I started to research it at one point. If you ever wonder what God thinks of money, just look at. who he gave it.

There you go.

So it's just like, bam.

you go. Look, but look out of fairness to the other billionaires who don't run their mouths. Not everyone does it. Some people are extremely discreet and quiet about their money. They don't wanna wield it as a source of power, but most can help themselves.

it's especially, especially in a world of Social media with Instagram. and, I'm gonna close with one just. for thoughts. Just for thoughts. um, uh, next to love comes quietness.

Whoa. Break it down.

Do we even need to, I feel like we should just stop the podcast right there.

I mean, that's, that's, that's the

play, the outro.

Uh, I mean, you just, that's the flip of the coin for what the, the quote before. Right.

See, I don't know. if, Is this one true for you as a Lebanese person from a big family? I don't think quietness is. your thing. I think you like a little noise.

I love family. I love the loudness of everybody being in the house. And I do love that. Like I'm not, you know, I, I don't, I don't have that strong desire to be like in silence and left alone and whatnot. Uh, I'm reading this differently again than you, um, which is, uh, when there's a connection. Uh, a lot less needs to be said. Oh,

Oh, interesting. Next to love, there comes quietness.

how I read it. But, but that's what these pro, that's what makes these proverbs so fun.

why do we talk so much? We need to stop Apparently We should just shut up See, for me next to love. I mean, yeah. if you told me Paul, good news, you're gonna get to sit quietly in a room with headphones on for six hours. Yeah. I'd be like, finally

I, like those days. Don't get me wrong, I don't need to be interacting with people. I like to,

really? Cuz we, we don't have many of those days.

don't have a lot of them, but it does feel good. I, I'm gonna put my headphones. Sometimes we shout at each other. Headphones are going up. We're gonna get some stuff

Yeah. And then Usually within 15 minutes you're like, you wanna go get coffee?

Can I share some

advice? please.

proper advice related to this whole podcast. Um, go look up Proverbs on the internet.

It's great project Gutenberg has lots. We'll put some links in.

Um, this is the ziti. And Ford Advisors podcast. You can find [email protected].

We're gonna, uh, we're gonna drop some more proverbs in in the future. I love Proverbs.

are fun. Let's tweet 'em out, Paul.

right. We'll tweet out some proverbs. We

tweet out some proverbs. Um, we got a new logo coming out soon and we're feeling pretty good about Woo. Uh, no one cares about that. Or maybe they do. Uh, okay. They don't. Um, hit us up at Ziti Ford on Twitter and [email protected].

All The systems are operational. All right, let's go.

Have a great

day. Bye.