Wannabe

Of the Law and Order franchises, SVU is considered especially watchable.

We are the amateur detectives who kind of investigate the vicious felonies. These episodes are based on.

These are our stories.

Done done, Yay, that's messed up.

An SVU podcast.

My name is Lisa and I'm Kara, and this podcast we recap episodes of the iconic show Law and Orders for you.

We recap crimes.

Sometimes we talk to a guest, sometimes we don't, but first we chit and chat hit chat.

It's wild, like I do bring up SVU no matter where I am, and it's multiple times. It's like SVU and soul cycle and I really need to find something else to talk about.

I know, I like my oh and dexter. My friend just went my friend just went to a sex party, and I go. So my understanding is, and my understanding is from Law and Order SVU, is that there are large playrooms and then there are smaller fuck rooms. And she's like, that's actually pretty accurate. I'm like, everything I know is from the multiple sex clubs I've gone to via Law and Order SVU.

Well, I actually have a brush with the law. I don't know if you spoke to your friend Rachel. But our friend Liby did a fundraiser. She does it every year at Bellhouse and it's people bring tampons and sanitary like woman's products for shelters. And right now it's trying to get them into schools because I didn't know, but I guess there's a new law in New York that schools must provide sanitary care for students, but they don't have an increased budget.

So now these schools are like kind of scrambling. So whatever.

So afterwards, we walked to a bar and we're at the bar. Everyone you know, we're a bit, we're mostly a big group. It's a weekday night, so we're at the bar and you know the bar, it's Halliards and Julie and I are at the bar and we look over and there's just kind of a grubby look guy like, not to be too judgmental, but like just looked unsavory, okay, And he goes and sits right next to all of our friends, and I'm looking at him, and Julia goes, well,

He was causing chaos.

The bartender calls the cops on him because there's stuff I don't even see. Seven cops come, maybe eight, none of them white. Like it was a United Colors of Benetton ad.

It was like set. We were all trying to like, fuck these cops.

I don't know, you know, like we were so excited, and people kept looking at me being like, look at you, smile, you are thrilled. I go, I can't even believe we're in the litle bit all of all this. They've been looking for this guy all day. He's been going from bar to bar. The cops have been chasing him around the neighborhood.

You knew immediately, you knew immediately because so the Julia, I'm like, I don't know, maybe it's just a guy in a bad day, you know. And so then this is what's crazy.

So we're giving information where like it says Yale on the T shirt, we're telling him everything that happened, what's missing, whatever. All the cops leave within three minutes. This guy's back, so that means these cops couldn't find him. His T shirt's now inside out, which means he heard us talking to the cops about the Yale.

So that means he was nearby. Cops didn't take him.

All of them leave, so he comes back and starts like lighting his lighter at us over and over because we're outside smoking weed obviously, and he goes, I got a brick, so we run inside. He throws a brick through the bar window, glass broken everywhere by the pool, saying look up, no, I guess he took a pool cubby on the bar, like, but this time he's outside through the brick or umbrella, he broke a window.

The cops come back and like, that's that. But it's also like, he brew through a brick through the window of the bar that you were in, Yes, oh my fucking god.

So then the bars under So then the cops came back.

But it's like, why didn't one of you stay, like you've been looking from all day? Well, I could tell you how you lost him, like what? So they all left and then they all came back, and it's like, but you, why wasn't there one uni here or like why didn't you at least walk around the block.

He clearly was.

Listening us to us tell the cops, like he was wearing a Yale T shirt this and that, and then he comes back with his shirt inside up.

In the time that you between you guys like them calling the cops and the cops showing up.

This guy just kind of strolled away, right. Yeah. I think he got gone because he was taking stuff.

He took people's stuff and was and threw an umbrella at Natasha the chef.

Oh my god, not Natasha, yes Jesus.

And then I was everyone just kept looking at me being like you're loving this. I go, yeah, to be in the middle of all this, and you know, and.

Was this like last night or two nights ago? Yes, yeah, I've been waiting to talk. I've been waiting.

God, I'm like waiting to talk about the brush with the law. And just like immediately like this guy doesn't blow.

Now is that shit? That is fucking crazy? But you know how to clock them, you really do. I feel like you clock a psycho.

From a mile away.

But then also two guys a run out there like he's coming back. Like everyone we were like in it. We were all in it together. So yeah, it was quite exciting. But I feel like, did we go to another I don't think I went home early though. Yeah we kept. I mean the window was broken and we were still in there. Oh my god, yeah, what the fuck?

But it just shows the an effectiveness of police because it's like within minutes of them leaving, this happened. And so it's like one of you couldn't have stayed. I just don't get it. I just don't get how you're that bad.

But also so New York for you guys to all just like carry on with a broken window and like a brick has just called through it. You're like, somebody clean up the glass. I have a martini to finish. The people playing pool continue to play pool like the with broken glass ships around them.

Yeah, oh my god. It was crazy.

It was quite silly. It was quite silly.

And then I do have a couple of celeb sightings for last night, so I do. It's been a big day, a big Okay, So I arrived at so our friend Ali mckofsky's birthday. She's gonna meet me late night at the cellar. You know, she's in town. So I'm you know, I see her, I'm walking towards her. Then there's someone I'm not really that into, but I say hi, and then I look and it's Adrian Grenier and your.

Least favorite character from The Devilwaar's Prada.

Well, not only that, he's very attractive, there's no two ways about it. Yeah, no charm and it got worse. So I just like didn't care because I didn't like the comedian he was with, so I immediately was like, well, this isn't the crew for me. And Adrian was mean to someone in my life that I so in my head, I'm immediately like I'm not fucking with this guy. But he is also so like I'm okay with the situation

He goes right here my gum.

Oh no, and I'm like so uncomfortable, and he goes, yeah, I'm thinking of getting into comedy. You know, amateurs are funnier than professionals.

A lot.

I feel like I can do it, and then continue to make horrible jokes. So then finally he talks about Ali as a farm, so I'm interested. So then I finally A'm like, oh my god, what kind of animals do you have? And he goes, well, my wife, and then I just stare and he's like.

Well and lives. You know, you get it. It's a joke.

And I just went and I go, I'll see you later Alli, and I went inside, and then she goes, I thought you were going up. I go, no, I just couldn't really be around I couldn't be around it. I couldn't be around it. And he made another bad joke. But I'm like, I'm blocking it out of my head. But oh my god, I'm obsessed. I was just like, I'm going inside. I can't.

I can't, like what the fuck? But still like a super babe. It's kind of like though maybe he's kind of like the John Hamm character a Dirty Rock, you know, it's like he's kind said that and he never had to develop like real personality or jokes.

So then I go downstairs to the other I'm at the seller. I get off stage. A server comes up to me, Greg and he goes, John Hamm is here losing his shit. No, he's obsessed. I go, oh great, you know love a celebri.

Oh he saw you?

Yeah, yes, So then I you know, that's nice. But like, I'm living my life. So I leave. I'm almost home. I'm walking home. Shane's Horras texts me going, John Ham's looking for you.

You gotta come back, double back, babe. I can't believe you left. I can't believe you left. You heard a celebrity was sniffing around like like likes your comedy, and you were like, I'm on a head home, Like what were you feeling that ill?

Like, well, I don't understand. No, I didn't think about it.

I don't know.

It was just like, oh I didn't I don't know. I just didn't even think about it. So of course I come back. I'm like, I'm in a car, I'm coming. So I came back and I hung out a little bit with John Hamm and his wife, who had a terrible Bravo opinion.

Who's John Ham's wife?

She's beautiful, beautiful, and she said the two worst people in Bravo larsa. I can agree. And then Derinda and I go excuse me, I go. Ramona's word, she goes, no, I go. Ramona's a trumper who is the rudest person alive, like Derinda just has emotional damage and is a blackout drunk like that is different. But yeah, she thinks Direnda's like evil and that was really hard for me to hear. No, John am was just giving me compliments and I loved it. And then you know, I was acting and he's like,

This is great. So he feels like he's like a guy that's really into comedy, doesn't he know?

Oh yeah, so he just did Doug Benson's I Love Movies at Grammercy and then they did dinner and then they just like walked in because they're famous and like to laugh.

Oh that's fun. So dogs, No, dog wasn't there. I wish.

But how funny that you mentioned John Hamm and that was the next celebsode I had crazy well because.

You met because John ham is hot as hell, but I think actually has a good personality. Maybe he was dorky as a kid or something. I bet Adrian Grenier has been like a little heart throbbed since he was a child.

Just kidding.

You can't be a child heart throb but you know what I mean. But he's just been like a hot guy as well. Then John emailed me. Oh, for those of you on the let our listening, she's showing me the notification on Gmail of an email from John Ham.

What's emailing you about? Listen?

We'll talk about it later. I love that it's all positive. It's all positive.

Who is his wife? Though? Now I'm like who?

I forgot her names? I feel rude, But she was like really pretty and like fun. Well remember his what girlfriend that he was Jennifer Webb but they were never married? And then no, but I love her. I liked her movies.

And they have one movie about like Amya, Rudolph Sin and a bunch of people where it's like different couples.

Yeah, I forgot what it's called Friends with Kids. I think it might be called oh wait a minute, this says she's been on Law and Order. Svew hold on kidding me, John Ham's wife.

Yeah, okay, that makes sense because I kept staring at her and I thought she was from America's Next top Model. I was like, but I'm like, that doesn't make sense time wise. I'm like, yeah, how do I know this woman? So she's an SVU.

Yeah, she's in an episode. We got to look it up.

But I'm dying to know what you and John Ham? How you and John Ham's Hey, you know what, maybe we'll double We'll do a lunch meet you. Marcia gayhearted? Wait, so she likes she hates Larsa and Derinda. That that is a wild take. Although I hate Lara, we can confront her for something. Yeah, Larsa's awful, but that is not Dirinda. Derinda would house you, Derinda would go out of your way. Deornda would be nice to your family. Like yeah, like Laurena gets me during is a mean drunk.

No, I don't think so.

Wait, have you seen the documentary on Netflix called Unknown Number that everybody is fucking talking about everyone's talking about.

I haven't watched it, but I know that this story was huge, so I know what it's about.

People. We talked about this and I go, no, this was the case. But we talked about it. I think because a few years ago I read the article in The Cut. There's a long article in the Cut about this happening, and the Cut was constantly.

Like, even after I read it, they were feeding me this.

Article as like a paid article to try to get me to like join or whatever subscribe, And I think I talked about it on the podcast maybe yeah, And then I just like woke up one day and my feeds were like filled with images of this woman.

I was like, what is this from?

And then when I looked, I was like, Oh, that's because it's weird when you read an article about one of these things, you have like the victims and the people all in your head of like what they're going to look like, and like the mom is not what I thought she would look like, and so I was like, who is this woman everyone's posting?

Is this somebody from like Love is Blind? And then it was like the mom from unknown number?

And I'm not going to spoil it, but it's on Netflix, and yeah it does have a pretty wild twist. And I will say, like the whole time I was watching it, I don't know can I.

Talk about it or like, is this bad?

Am?

I spoiling. I'm going to talk about this for two more. Many people know.

I mean, if you are on a meme, like the fact that this is even a surprise twist ending is very confusing because I mean maybe we're a little more in tune.

But it's like this was a big article. Yeah, yeah, it was around everywhere, but it was just to me. It's wild that the guilty party participated in the dock because I think they thought they were getting their story out there, but I think the doc made them look even worse.

Well, yeah, it's like I read somewhere that it's Munchausen by technology in a way. Yes, it's like, you know, she's obviously disordered and probably thinks she did nothing wrong and she's the victor.

It's a classic narcissist traits.

Yeah.

She literally says, you know, we all do bad things, and like you've probably driven drunk and never got caught.

I just got caught.

It's like the fact that you're trying to equate somebody making a stupid mistake, like I don't condone driving.

Does that happen with a friend in my past where I was like and then this happened, and that sucks and they're like, well, like, you've not done anything bad.

I'm like, I've been to jail. I don't think I'm Markedy.

That's not Yeah, what you did is actually done lots of things. Why yeah, you're like, and it just said a lot about how she Also, I will say, like, I mean, I think it's spoiled at this point, like

Interesting, I have to watch it. I have to watch it. You know, I've been in my Dexter hole that I'm out of. That's it's like you could watch it like it's quick, it's like easy, but I'm out of the Dexter hole. I've watched the finale three times. I could move on, and I've watched the whole series now again, from one through new Blood through resurrect Ivery. Watched my Gosh season again and you.

Went all in.

You did Baryl Girls, Trinity Killer, Ice Truck, like the whole thing, all.

Of it, all of it.

I did it all. It was like hard, like I remember having like a stomach ache watching that whole season.

I think about the Barrel Girls season always. I think I must have said this on this podcast a lot of times, but whether I'm on stage or in the world, when I see like a group of men with this energy, I go they would kill girls in a barrel and say yeah, I'm like, these are barrel Girl men. And I'll ask her, I'm like, who's Stine Dexter And when I say it, they go, yeah, like that we talking about.

It when we did on the episode where it was like the girl that was carving like uh things on the guy's chests, yes, because they all like attacked her at summer Camp because they're Barrel girls. Guys.

Yeah, yes, Barrel's like guys. I think about the movie promising young women. There's just h men that like they might have murdered a stripper and they got rid of the body. Yeah yeah, or like I just don't trust men. But anyways, but the finale was awesome. It's just like cool to see there. I can't wait for you to watch it, Kara. It really is so for the fans, and the end of this season of Resurrection is really kind of like a nod to the original finale.

Everyone hate it. It's like their redo.

Because it's kind of a cute thing where you feel like they're acknowledging, like they know everyone hated it and how bad it was, and this is kind of they fuck with it. They're they're really smart, and I just felt like it was for the fans. It's what they wanted, is what we wanted. And it's like I felt edge of my seat, then calm and then anticipation.

Yeah, I'm gonna watch it like this week, this week and weekend, like I'm getting into it.

It's like top of my list.

I only watched the Unknown Number thing because I was with Jared, and he's not gonna watch Dexter with me?

But wait, would you say, wait, are you gonna watch Did you watch Barbarian yet?

That was part of your own not? Yeah, but I'm gonna watch that with him because.

Spooky season is entering, so it's we're on the cusp of spoo. Rosie's already purchased her Halloween costume. It's September ninth. What is she a K pop demon hunter? She won't even watch that shit? Can you believe it?

Like Oscar and I watched it last weekend. He loves it.

Rosie watched five minutes of it with her best run over the summer and said, I don't like this.

I don't think she likes that.

It's like a little bit girly, even though the girls are bad asses.

She's like, you know how, She's like against that stuff.

So Oscar loved it and he wants to be one of the K pop girls for Halloween. But he's very wildly vacillating back and forth between ideas, so I'm letting him ruminate.

Rosie fell in love with a.

Stitch costume at Target and bought the Stitch costume and it has been putting it on every day after school and she's gonna be Stitch for Halloween.

That's cute.

She likes to wear like a head like a sweatsuit, a jumper, yeah, like a like basically, yeah, she likes to wear a Uni suit. I do have more celeb name drops, if that's part. Okay, So I shot a little thing this week, but I would say obsessed with Poppy lou Dynamic to watch a star again, like I can, I will do it. I will go to the end of the earth for this woman. Like she's so everything I could have ever wanted. And she had like such

He's one of the.

Funny happy people.

Yeah yeah, And I had the best time and a shit talker, a shit talker, a gossip and fun so talented. I learned a lot and like I just left being like, oh, you're like the best.

I saw gabriis the night after that, you told me that you were doing the thing that way, and I was like, oh, Lisa just told me she's doing this thing with Pali and he was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and then he was talking to me about how you guys made that Nutrition Is Life a Living hell at the show, and I was like, yeah, I heard about that.

So funny honestly, like stand ups are funny, and I think I judge improvisers and I think they're like losers. But then when you're with someone that's like that good and funny and quick, and you're like, oh, this is like maybe I yeah, Well.

Gabris was, and Gabris was on my show doing stand up because he does stand up too, but he was.

Really he was so funny.

He was telling we were we were chatting, but Pally was my sketch teacher like a million years ago.

Well, and I also because of his watch What Happens Like, I don't I'd never met him until this summer.

I just had a different version of him in my head too. I don't know he has like he loves his kids. I don't know I just like, yeah, I was like very excited to have my couple of days.

That's great.

No.

I when I met Poppy at that party, I was like at this kid's party, I was like, do you want to be best friends?

Like?

I love her, She's so great.

Oh.

When I got to work with a baby, they were twins and truly the baby a baby. Oh yeah, yeah yeah, And I wasn't asking if you had twins, like you have a baby in the thing.

Yeah, Adam and I are married and we have the wins, but but you know, one baby at a time. But the twins are working. But this baby, I had to have the baby in a while and it just feels nice. But the baby like fell asleep on my body. I the baby truly was like side and then head on my shoulder and like knocked out like so like it was really cute holding the baby.

For sure.

I cannot wait to see mom Lisa in this project. Yeah, it was fun.

I mean I just was like really happy I have met everyone, but especially the two of them.

Yeah, really exciting. Oh, I love it.

We do have to start, I guess. But I was the beginning of the school year. How's that beginning of the school year. You know, I'm VP of the BTA.

Now it's really really stressful, but it's it's good. You know. It's just like a lot of stuff going on, a lot of meetings at the beginning of the year. But you know, the kids are doing great, their love they're at the same school together. Now, you know, I'm still I'm getting the same thing. The school is saying the same thing to me that every single summer camp said to me about Oscar. Any tips on how to handle Oscar?

Like he's so fucking crazy and weird.

He makes up lies constantly now and I go, oh, can I ask her about that?

And he goes, no, don't.

After he tells me some long ass story, I go, so, can I ask your teacher about that? And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, don't ask her like he's such a liar. And his eyes like sparkle and light up when he's gonna tell me this long lie. I mean he knows, I know it's a lie. It's like there's a treehouse in the cabinet. You know. It's weird shit. But anyway, wild child, but we're doing good. We gotta figure we got to nail

We're bet. It's September birthday. How is your birthday?

Oh my god?

Yeah?

Should we save that for the post mortem? Keep people guessing? Yeah, you guys have to listen to the whole episodecause we're gonna talk about Lisa's birthday and the post mortum.

Sorry about it. This is how we lock people in. Well yeah, sorry, we didn't get Sharon Stone, so yeah, they don't even know.

They don't even know what episode we're doing it. Whatever, there's no guest, there's no guest. I'll talk about my birthday, no guest.

But before we start, check out Lisa's tour dates. That's you can always find that in like the link in her bio on instat but also that's messed up live dot com that has a link to all her tickets. Lisa is going to be on an amazing show that I'm hosting in New York City on Sunday, September twenty eighth. It's a five o'clock show, doors at four, shows at five. This is a nice little Sunday evening early to bed situation. And it's Lisa, It's Jay Jorden, Emma Willman, Jake Cornell,

And it's in memory of my friend Jed who passed.

So I hope that those of you that joined us at the Bell House in August will come out and see me host and Lisa do some stand up. And I think it's gonna be a great night. And I think that's that. Let's get to the episode. Okay, today we are doing the episode Wanna Be and I Want to Be Love. Yeah, I'm like, I cannot be, Like if you want to be a cop? Like, this episode is so crazy. My Friends season eleven, episode twenty three. This Baby came out in May of twenty ten. I

I had the same feeling like it felt like it went by so fast for an episode where I was like, whoa, that's the it's.

I remember, like line, I remember so many specifics, like with Sharon Stone. I was like, yes, I've seen this, I know this happens. And then we got to the end.

I was like, hold on, whoa.

Okay, yeah, but it's a creepy one for sure, very creepy.

Okay.

So we open up on a snake slithering around and then we see this kid's like lollipop and basically we pull out and we're in front of like an old school stereo like stereo store wall of TVs, you know, like in an electronic store.

It's like the forty year old virgin in here, like they're watching all the.

TVs and the little girl is like, ooh, a snake or whatever. And then she's trying to ask the guy who works there, like what's the difference between this TV and this TV? And he's jorking out and then an announcement says, attention female shoppers, please head to the TV department a special giveaway. And I'm like, immediately, attention female shoppers is bizarre, Like I've never that's so weird, Like I don't even care if it's a tampon giveaway at

So this sales guy's like, let me go check on this.

And then suddenly the little girl is watching someone pull their pants down on TV, and on all the screens we're seeing some a guy pull his pants down, and you know, we don't actually see it because it's on NBC, but like the guy's allegedly jerking off, and then the sale guy screams, got it off. So pretty pretty wild opening. And now we're at the precinct with the gang in

At the beginning was two months earlier.

So since that video happened, this guy has escalated and three like teen girls have been raped in Central Park, not even teens, Colleen Johnson eleven, Tina Harper fifteen, Nicole Goshgarian twelve. They all they rape started four weeks ago, and they all happen on Sunday afternoons. So now it's Sunday and they're planning to grab this guy in such

But also the cop.

Drops his hat and then stops and considers going back for it, and I'm like, no, you keep running, and the chase is on. It's honestly a beautiful day in the park. It's it's sad that we're chasing a rapist because it's gorgeous. There's horse drawn carriages, which I know are problematic, but it's a very picturesque day in Central Park.

He's fine, he got the Purp. We're good and everything's under control.

He's like, yeah, I tried to get away from me, but it's all under control now, and Stabler's like, good job, Officer Fletcher.

And the Purp is like, why are you arresting me?

And they're like for a rape in progress and he's like, this guy, I was just asking for the time when this cop came over and he sexually assaulted me. And then we cut to the teen girl who was the one the alleged victim in this situation. She's like, I was just checking my watch to give the guy the time when this cop came over and told the guy to drop his pants. It was really weird, and I have to agree that would be very weird. She says. The cop pulled the guy's pants down and that's when

It's very wild.

I'm like, what, you don't need to be so excited that you found a rape kit, and he's but you can tell something's off with this guy with this cop, and the purp is like, it's just a utility pack, and Stabler's telling teen Cop, okay, take this in, maintain chain of custody, don't forget to bag and tag it

And he's like, there's nothing wrong with me. I didn't do anything.

And then this actor's name is Rafael Sabarge and he was Jimmy Crickett in Once upon a Time, which is a show I've never even had the smallest urge to watch, but I know people liked it. They're telling him you've got low self esteem inadequacy, like you had to perform lude acts on little girls to get off on the reaction, and then they when they laugh at you, they emasculate you.

And he's like, no one laughed at me, Like you are kind of.

Getting this idea here that this guy maybe didn't do anything, like he doesn't act like a lot of other purpse do. And liv shows a picture of Colleen and is like, she called you lame and laughed in your face. So you showed her, but she got away before you finished, and the next time you cameed. So now, Fletcher, the teen cop, is in Craigan's office giving the rape toolkit that he can't stop talking about in and Craigan's like, great job, I'll write you a rack.

Who's your COO?

And He's like, I'm out of the two seven And Craigan's like, oh, that's my old precinct.

I'll put in a word with Van Buren.

Craigan says, taking a serial rapist off the street can really fast track careers. Keep it up Champ and Fletcher leaves but forgets the rape toolkit and Craigan's like, don't forget to bag it and tag it.

Enjoy the paperwork.

And then Fletcher is at a typewriter unable to use it correctly, when Finn and Munch approach and the three of them have this like cute little combo about how typewriters are outdated and how much is like old as a dinosaur, And after that's all wrapped up, they tell him, well, we interview the teen girl and she says, Hank it never touched or threatened her and never had a knife out, and he's like all defensive. He's like, what was I

The bust is good. Just like walk us through what happened.

So now we cut back to interrogation with Wayne and his stabler are still trying to wrangle a confession out of this guy while Joe Marlow aka Sharon Stone watches him through the glass. I believe Joe Marlow was in four, maybe five episodes of the show. In this arc as the Ada, they tell him all three girls are on their way here to id you, and Wayne starts crying and Stabler's like, are you evil or are you sick?

To hear it.

And Marlow goes, Oh, daddy issues, and then Finn pops in to let her know there might be a problem with the case and she looks pissed. Marlow goes to talk to Fletcher and he's still at the typewriter and she's like, you're just a kid, and he's like, uh, ma'am, I'm twenty two. And then she I didn't even know. I guess you could be in the police when you're twenty two. It just feels like, I guess the police

No hr at Svu baby, Like, I want to see her and Sonya Paxton hanging out. Those are some broads I would like to see chilling because they're both maniacs.

Yes, absolutely, that would be so fun.

And he's like, what's that for? And she's like, for being an idiot, you didn't learn basic search procedures at the academy. She's like, he declined to show you the birthmark. You should have brought him in for questioning. You don't search him against his will. That's a violation of his Fourth Amendment rights against search and seizure by pantsing him.

The guy went to.

Run I love the pantsing pantsing people I used to It was like, I loved it. I think that my brother one time in the underwear came down to his boxers came down, and I didn't mean for that to happen. Yeah, And I felt really bad, and I was like, oh, I was supposed to just be pantsing, you know, but whatever, are the kids still panting?

I hope not.

It feel like I don't very bad. I used so also like, well, this was swim team and we were all good at it.

But like I liked pushing people in the pool too, But I would never do that now, And I'm like, I'm setting I happened forever, but like, yeah, you know, you're not that smart.

I'm also extremely against shoving the wedding cake in your spouse's face.

And that's a bit hot topic on the internet. I want to kill people that do it.

Yeah, well there are stories online where it's like that happened to a woman and she left her wedding and filed for an omit the next day.

It's so disrespectful, Like it's so gross. I hate it, especially if someone said no, yeah, if you talk about it, you're like, it'll be cute. Let's shove it in each other's face. And I see people do it a little bit where they just get it on the lips a little bit. You're ruining someone's makeup job like that they got. I hate it. So I've seen horrible ones. Yeah it's yeah, it's bad.

Yeah yeah.

Yeah.

So anyway, Fletcher's like No, what happened was the guy went to run and I grabbed him by his waistband, and that's when I saw the birthmark. So Marlow goes, no, the girl in the park says, you pulled his pants down and then he ran, and Fletcher's like, it happened so fast, it was so confusing, and Joe's like, well, great, that's gonna play great in court, you fucking dumbass. And then Fletcher insists, no, he ran, and that gave me

So they go talk to Fletcher.

But done, done, he's gone, and he left the rape toolkit that he couldn't shut up about, just sitting right there at the typewriter, which breaks chain of custody. So now that's out, So like it's like, Wow, who would have thought a twenty two year old would be unqualified to be a cop?

But this kid is nowhere to be found.

We can't find him, and Craigan gets off the phone with the two seven and done done again. Van Buren didn't loan us this kid. He's not from that precinct. Where the hell did this kid come from? And Craigan goes, I don't think he's a cop, and that's a cut to commercial baby at the top of AAC two. They're running Fletcher's prints and he is not a cop. Because all the cops get be interprinted, they're in the system. Marlow says, the press is gonna wet their pants over this.

So this might work out. But we got to find the kid.

Because if we listed as a citizen's arrest, we need a signature within twenty four hours of the guy getting arrested and we've got eight hours left on the clock, and this is, I know, something you don't love. But this turns into a bit of a countdown episode for a while.

So I hate a countdown.

Yeah, when we did count When we did, you were like, I hate these episodes where we're against the clock and there's a countdown.

But maybe you've changed your mind. People change, I know. I hate the ones. Wait, which ones countdown? Which ones?

Count? Well? Countdown is the one where it's a little girl's birthday party, Remember what we talked?

I love that one.

And then there's the other, the one where we talk to not Julie Bowen Andrea Bowen. Sorry we didn't imagine we got Julie bow when I forgot.

That sucks.

I also want to say that no Countdown's one of my favorite episodes, so that can't be real.

No One.

He was a man hunt, wasn't it? The one where the guy is like a.

Serial killer and he's about to go to get executed and there's like twenty four hours till his execution and they're counting down like that one. I hate. I hate that one. I don't know why But I do hate that one with them, the death row of it all. I mean, the countdown clock definitely ratchets up the oh my god, the woman's in remember signature?

Was it?

Or what's the one where the guy has the old lady and the thing with the countdown of how much oxygen she has? Oh?

That one is That One's a lot of games. That one's a lot of game.

But that's the Olivia Benson spelled back Olivia spelled backwards.

And oh, I know it's not Ristian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's called but you're I don't think it's the Olivia backwards either that you're talking about.

It's the one where we talk to the old lady who was in the casket, I know, and the guy with the glasses and he wanted to be he was pretending it was copycat or something.

I also, I do want to add, just because you mentioned Julie Bowen, I Eric stone Street is the takeaway like Superstar of Dexter Resurrection. I would say he's so good in it that he's so funny and dark but like silly in.

This dark universe. I don't know, he like Nail, He's amazing.

Yeah, you're not. Interviews are fun too.

Yeah, because I've been watching the Our Resurrection podcast that Jamie Chung has been hosting. Jared went to Jared went to Comic Con in San Diego and got like a badge and had Dexter on it. And Kaylinn's like, where did he get this? What did he did he get to go to something? I was like, no, it's just from comic Con, you know, I have that badge. Oh but I got an autographed by him. I waited for him at the stage door. But this one's a Dexter Resurrection badge.

But he doesn't work in the police depart Is it.

Like his, like Jared's badge, Like Jared's badge has Dexter on it as a homo?

Yeah, like not the same. Yeah.

Not.

Back to the episode that we were just talking about. It's Wrath is the episode with a Vela. You're right, Rath is the one with like the puzzles and the Olivias bell back.

Yeah, because we accidentally did it live in Columbia Cleveland, in Cleveland and it was a disaster and it was not funny and it was like a dead family in the woods.

Sorry, you're right, I am conflating Wrath with Scavenger, which is Scavenger is the one where the guy buries the woman alive with the oxygen and there's a timer, and Wrath is the episode that we erroneously did live at a Cleveland show, and really, I think the audience thought this is maybe a little too dark for a Thursday night, you know. Okay, So anyway, there's a countdown. We've got eight hours to get a signature. We've got to find this fucking fake cop who's like in the wind right.

I don't sell the civilians.

And then they flashed a picture of the guy and they're like, you sold this kid a uniform and a gun. And Markham's like, hold on, maybe the uniform, maybe the gear, but no way a gun without a background check. So he has one principle. This man, He's like, this kid paid cash, he looked right, he sounded right, he had the haircut.

That's literally fake it, so you make it.

That's like we're we're in the age of the scammer right now, but even this episode is from fifteen years ago. You can walk into if you walk into a place looking and acting the part. Look at that guy we just covered acted like a fucking Rockefeller, married a millionaire. He was doing it for decades if you just know how to act and sound right, and this guy did it.

And Stapler's Stabler, Stapler, I just said, Stapler.

Stabler's like, wait, do you still have that amazing art someone made us of like Stablers, but but as a Stabler it was in Charlotte or.

I gotta find it. I probably bet I gave it to you.

If I didn't give it to.

You, then I put it at the studio. I think it's that exactly right, because I put it. I loved it.

God.

Yeah.

So Stabler's like, well, you know, he might not have had to have taken the exam or whatever. There's other ways you can learn about cap cop shit than the academy, you know, and Munch says, yeah, I post on all these LEO sites.

I don't really know what that is.

And he goes and I get all these holster sniffers who think they know more than me. I mean, holster sniffer is wild. It's like that's people that want to be cops or want to fuck cop like chuckle fuckers. Anyway, Finn goes, if any of them talk less than you have them give me a call. And that is like what this show is fucking missing. None of these guys tease each other anymore. I hope this new show runner was season twenty seven, is gonna like introduce Bruno, the

That's like that's like as far as a joke goes.

Now, like there's no jokes on the show anymore, and they need to bring them back. And that's the end of my ted talk. Okay, we're at five hours now. Somehow it's taken three hours to go to this uniform shop and we've lost three hours. So then lives going through the system and finds some random white guy named Phil Fletcher, and it's like kind of looks like our guy. Maybe his relative. Not a close enough match for me,

I got tons of cousins I never seen.

And then he's like, hey, pop, lady policeman, this guy's are really doing it with the accent work.

It's really really happening.

And then the dad comes like waddling out, this former cop and he hurt himself doing something and he's not related. He's like, no, I'm not related to that kid, but I never forget a face. I know that kid from McGinty's, and Live knows it immediately. It's a cop bar on Third Avenue. So she takes off. Now we're at McGuinty's and Stabler is again some gentle ribbing.

It's fun.

He starts ribbing this cop named Hann again about how he's boozing so early in the day. Hanna again at mcguinea's. Okay, hand again at McGinty's baby, and he goes, bite me stable or I just got off the late tour and they're like, well it was four hours ago, but whatever, we need your help.

So I guess we won't bring up your alcoholism.

And so they show him the photo and he goes, not the menace, And I love how this guy has a has a nickname. I bet you they call him Dennis the Menace because he looks like a little kid. But they cut that because they're just calling him the menace. He's like, his name's Brad something. Never trust a non drinker in a bar. This kid picks up tabs, he pumps us for stories. He's a total wannabe and you need to drink because that's the title of the episode, if you want to be a cop.

Okay.

So he says he'll make some calls and try to find out more about this kid, but it's like, we have five hours?

Are you calling from the bar? What are we doing at the precinct.

They're breaking the news to Marlowe and she's like, I cannot believe you guys cannot find one man in New York City, a city of millions, in eight hours. And she's freaking out because the three rape victims are all on their way. They're all there, they're all there at the precinct with their parents, and she's like, I just don't know if I should go through with the lineup, and she's very shook about these little girls. You know, everybody that comes into SFU has to get used to

She's like number two.

And then the third girl I ds him as well and goes, I know it's him, and so the last girl is like, I want to The last girl's mom says she wants to thank the officer that caught him, but he's not there, and he's also not an officer, so they're like, he'll be here soon. So anyway, Marlow is back on Benson and Stabler's asses. They've got three hours and two of the girls have now positively idd

He's like, I will join us view, but you know, I think we've met.

We've met one male cop partner of his in the past, some guy, but the rest.

Something wrong, right, Yeah, and now it's just babe after babes.

So that's so funny that shared Stones's character was a cop, Like that's a CORESI track, like most of the other Adas were not cops. First. Anyway, lives on the phone and it's Hannigan calling from the bar saying he found someone who knows Fletcher. So now they're at the NYPD Explorer's cleanup site in Harlem and this is a real thing, the ny Explorers. The guy in the crime was an explorer. Okay, great, it's real.

I didn't know what this was. But it's basically cop summer camp.

Like from the website, it says it provides young men and women from the city's diverse communities with an introduction to a career law enforcement or a related field for cops.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's birthright for cops. And it's supposed to be fourteen to twenty ages. So they ask this guy who's like the supervisor, about Brad Fletcher, and they're like, you're supposed to take at risk kids and point them in the right direction, not turn them into delusional zealots. And they're like the guy's like, yeah, but Brad's never been in trouble, Like he signed up when he was fourteen with his eyes set on joining the like the police department.

Uh oh, a bunch of boys and blazers coming out.

It is pretty wild, Like what is the profile of this boy who's like a rich prep school boy and is like I want to be a cop?

Like I don't like that.

You know, like your parents have probably been telling you forever to like be a lawyer, be a doctor, be a congressman.

And you're like cop, Like you have a power thing. I feel like if that's your deal.

But Jessica Tish, they confront Yeah, they confront Brad and and they go you're only sixteen, and he's like I can explain, and they're like can it And they go just sign right here, and he's like, I'll sign this no problem.

Getting that purp off the street was the best day of my life. So everything's cool now.

And then they're like sure it is, little buddy, and they arrest him immediately for impersonating an officer. So then now teen Cop, who I've been calling teen Cop the whole time, is literally teen cop. He is in cement room bars talking about how he always dreamed about being a cop. He's like a real This is before they had Chase from paw patrol. So I do not know what has indoctrinated him, but he's a huge holster sniffer.

Do it.

So this delusional mom, it was really getting to me. She's like, it's okay. He reads a lot and I give him the gun, but it's my gun, so it's fine. So Stabler points out, I guess you don't know much as much about the law as you thought. You'll have plenty of time to read in jail. But teen cop is doubling down on his theory that he's a hero.

I loved her on er.

This woman, I don't know why she really struck out to me, and she's slapping a motion to exclude down on the table, saying that Brad Fletcher violated Wayne's Fourth Amendment rights. But then Sharon Stone Joe Marlow is there being like, no, he's a civilian and civilians are not, like, you know, accountable to that law, and Miranda's like, he went to a task force meeting, he walked through an apprehension plan and he was assigned a sector of the park, so it really seems like he was acting as a

The judge is like, give me some time.

I'm going to think about it and make my ruling, and Miranda's like, great, and when you're done, I plan to dismiss if you rule in my favor, and Joe tries to prove to the judge like, listen, sir, like your honor, we do not condone this behavior. We're actually charging the kid for a crime, and I'm on my way to family right now to get his teen ass. So in family court, teen cop is being a whiny bitch. He's like, this isn't fitter the dejective's promise to give

Cop magazines that he gets.

Oh man, and if he does all this after six months, the case will be dismissed and expunged from his record at twenty one. So pretty lucky, dude, Like you fully impersonated a cop and tried to log evidence like you were trying to type up a DD five, your psycho. So, now Joe and Team Cop are in her office going over his testimony, and she's talking to him closer than I'm comfortable with, like he's sixteen, and she's like in his face trying to get him not to be in

Oh I didn't even really know that. Yeah, I didn't know.

So because Sharon Stone's character goes without prejudice, like she's and he's like, without prejudice, So it's like, we can try this rapist again and like it's not closed with prejudice, I would assume means it gets dismissed, like but it would have been a mistrial, you know. Joe turns around and teen coopp is h in the courtroom, like during this judge's decision, she left him in her office and said stay there, and he came into the court he

But Live says, wait a second.

In interrogation, he flashed us, and I'm like, again, it literally seems like he touched the bottom of his shirt, but it's NBC. They're like, can we get him on that? And she's like, it's a misdemeanor, it's a slap on the wrist. We should sit on him. Twenty four to seven. So we cut to the steakout crew and it's a threesome that we didn't know we needed. Benson Stable and Sharon Stone and they pull up. They pull up to the guy's house and Stable goes, oh, he lives in

I'm just this lawyer.

Yeah, yeah, your mom went to go get some of your favorite clothes. Like, I don't know, Mom's not there. We had an episode wrap on the mom and so we're using sharing stone. She's like, you were almost killed. That bullet was like a quarter of an introm your aorta,

And she's like, how did you get into that house?

I want to know, and he goes, I found the house key when I was vouchering the evidence. I just wanted to help them get the guy. So even though he was vouchering evidence, thinking I busted a rapist, he thought, I'm gonna keep the key to this rapist's house. J I see, okay again in these plot holes, let me proofread the script and I will tell you where I think things don't make sense. So anyway, kids like I

And they're like, well, the.

Victim was shown in extreme close up, so maybe it was like a small hidden camera, like in a button. Cameras are so small now, and all the victims said he never took his hat off, so ding ding ding. Now they're searching the Hankett house while the dad is looking on and they're like, well, the hats.

We can't find anything in any of these hats.

And they're like, wow, you sure have a lot of porn, sir, and he's like, well, it's no law against that, and then they go, yeah, unless someone's underage or being sexually assaulted, and then his face drops, you know, like that's the shit he's most into. So they're definitely gonna find that. And we heard you were watching home videos of your

And then they're like, so where's Wayne? And he went for a walk.

So now munch Fin have somehow immediately tracked down Wayne and he has ducked into a peep show, which I don't even know where you can go to those anymore, but they used to be all in Times Square and they've got a search warrant for the hat and I think that's so funny, like we just need to look in the hat and Wayne comes out, they grab his hat off his head and boom right away there's a camera inside it with which looked with also what looks

Like?

What's the one where it was like someone's jail buddy on the way out was making him commit crimes. Remember it was a gray haired man too, and this guy looks like he's from Frasier.

But it was like another old dad.

What what?

What did the guy in the other episode have over him?

He owed him because of prison and he was like this guy's bitch in prison and so he lived with him and got abused and they found all the trinkets and he was like so scared and shaking.

He looked like an exports and like, but I don't remember that either, Like, yeah, there's five there's five hundred and forty episodes. It's really hard, but this is it's similar. It's like other you know, like gray haired men with this nervous blue eyed men. Yeah, being their pawns. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So basically, how did your dad make you do this?

Wayne opens up, He's been putting me down for years, saying I'm a sissy, I'm worthless, babe, most ashamed of me. I know, like I he you know, I would never amount to anything, and lives like, you need to take responsibility for what you did, like I'm sorry that you got, Like you know, I'm sorry you got. I'm emotionally abused, but like take responsibility. And he's like, you mean, like how I killed my mother? And then he's he opens up and says that she died when he was twelve

I thought the same thing, and I'm like, it's not that twisted.

I mean, I don't want to get a job either, but like if the story's not that twisted, we keep trying to sexualize her and make it like it's a guy murdered her and the roommate acted weird and I to speak Italian and couldn't like it was things like that, like I don't really think a man A Knox did anything twisted.

No, she did have my opinion, but oh, I think most people think that.

Yeah, I just can't know. If there's another show, it's like, well, how many I mean they've done like now like but now it's.

From her point of view, I'm like, no one cares.

Please, We've done so many bundies, We've done so many John Wayne Gacy's I think I don't know. We Well, we're getting a new gaycy so watch out with my Michael churnis so scary friend of the pod. Okay, so this fucking kid is now being asked to have sex side by side with his dad with a with a

You're you're the problem.

Dad.

Uh So anyway, liv Goes, I'm I'm really sorry.

No one helped you as a kid, but you're thirty eight now, why didn't you just leave when you turned eighteen? And then we cut to the dad going that loser could never survive on his own. I wanted Wayne out of the house. I wanted to retire, but I couldn't. And Stabler is giving this guy the old alpha male special, like, oh, come on, man, you can't get it up. You only get actions from sex workers. You screwed in front of your kid, and then you went limp and you started

He's completely useless.

So this man is like associate, but he has like no feeling towards his child at all except for hate.

Stay, No, he has feelings. They're just disgusting.

Yeah, And they're like, uh, well, we checked out the electronics store footage and we know that you're saying Wayne's completely useless, and we know he's not that good with electronics either. But you, on the other hand, have worked in electronics for thirty five years. So you rigged the cameras. We saw you there on the tapes and you set up your son to choke the chicken, they say, in front of all those girls. And the dad goes, he had no interest in sex. I had to fix him.

Now?

Wait, so I just want to summarize what's happening here.

This father has figured out a way to get his son, who he hates, to go out and sexually assault teen girls with a fucking button cam in his hat so that he can watch it and feel like he's doing it. You got it.

You have to investigate the father.

There's definitely what he definitely was a child molester then before he started losing the ability to get an erection, right, wow, I mean he's going there's no way. He just started getting a proclivity for young girls when he was you know, like, uh is seventy eight or whatever. Anyway, Wayne comes out of interrogation and goes what happens to me now? And they're like, well, you're gonna get processed and booked. Like at the beginning, when he was acting like, wait, I

And he was acting like he didn't do anything wrong at the beginning. Well, he's trying to save his own ass. Yeah, do you want to go to jail? Yeah?

But he seems like he'd be a bad liar. And at the beginning I almost believe him. I almost believe they have the wrong guy. Like I'm like, oh, this is gonna be a matching birthmark thing, like that's what I kind of thought, like, Oh, we're going to find out birthmarks.

Somebody's drawing the birthmark on to frame.

Him, like whatever, That's what I kind of thought, because the Florida birthmark is wild. But Wayne, they tell him you're getting process and booked, like sorry, buddy, you are going to jail, and the dad comes out and screams, I wish I had you aborted.

Wow.

Wayne runs up and it's like dad, Dad. Wayne tries hugging him. I'm sorry, I got you in trouble. It's so disturbing and sad.

This scene.

It's like he's still even after realizing I'm going to jail for these horrible crimes. My dad made me commit after a lifetime of emotional abuse, He's still like, Daddy, I need.

Your I need your approval, like love me, love me, love me.

It's so so sad, and the dad keeps going you're dead to me, while Wayne keeps yelling I love you. It's really terrible, and we black out. Off of Joe Marlowe's hardened facial expression. That is a classic I need to get the fuck out of SVU expression, And that's Dick wolf baby.

Well, you'll all be really relieved to know this is just the fake cop teen No. Uh, okay, no daddy cam rapes Okay no, No, the writers came up with that all on their own. Yeah, this is Chicago. What n Sam Richardson? So at fourteen, Richardson impersonated a police officer, and he did such a good job that he was driving around in a squad car. Like fully worked a five hour shift in a squad car, riding along with another cop.

At fourteen years old.

And these are the people in charge of our criminal justice system, Like it is really wild to think about that they couldn't tell this was a fourteen year old.

Yeah. So in two thousand and.

Nine, this guy who became known as kid Cop, he just showed up at Grand Crossing third District station, claiming to be an officer from another district. The officers let him work a full duty patrol shift, like I said, for five hours with and he even helped with an arrest before they figured out what was going on. This dude was fourteen in eighth grade. Oh my god, it's so crazy. So fourteen officers, including the captain running watch during the shift, and seven sergeants were brought up on

And then in twenty eleven he.

Was charging an adult with aggravated unlawful use of a weapon. And then in twenty thirteen he was finally sentenced to eighteen months in prison for attempting to buy a police uniform. And he was working as a security card at the time.

So Richardson just comes back for.

His ID and the police were already waiting for him to take him in, and the police found a receipt on Richardson from an online purchase of a CPD bag and other supplies and another duty belt. In twenty fifteen, he's arrested again, this time with a friend both and then like it is wild thinking about our last episode where it was like seven years for forgery and this dude just like cannot stop pushing his mother and pretending to be a cop, Like it is kind of silly.

Wow.

So February twenty twenty one, he was arrested in Lyle, which is a West suburb.

It was four oh one am. He was pretending to be a sergeant.

On January fourteenth, twenty seventh, and February third, he also pulled over a vehicle and searched the car like he searched the occupants. He was wearing a full blown police uniform, pretended to be a sergeant. He slowed down cars with a flashlight all in babe At. He he was doing TikTok dances and police uniforms. He makes videos and bulletproof

The over and then the other is e news.

Park Forest serving a great American town, park Forest, Illinois. So I just and I don't know if he was convicted because I didn't find anything of like jail time. I didn't find any records or like he inmate lock up, and I didn't find any other sources that had this. So he but it says that he was arrested in twenty twenty four for unlawful possession of ammunition with a felony.

Wowoh, so he just won't stop. No, So I'm I'm wondering if he's still in jail, because in.

Twenty twenty one he got three years, and it feels like in twenty twenty four, immediately when he's out, he did it again.

But I don't know if he's like, I don't know what's up.

I don't know. Maybe he got out early for good time and then he got back and what's like what sucks about? Like this is at fourteen? Obviously the Sun Times the tribute articles are kid cop ellwell you know.

And then yeah, he just like won't stop. But it's not as like exciting, it's not as nice.

He just keeps doing.

He's a grown up now, so it's like, Okay, this is like a psychopath who's pretending to be cops.

Like, and the thing that's funny is like this is sort of catch me if you can, but it's sort of like not rich, catch me if you can, like people like people who can go in and like get on a private jet and do all this shit. But like he basically just doing being as sneaky, just trying to be a cop over and over, you know, over and over.

Won't stop. Otherwise there'd be a movie about this motherfucker. I mean there's an episode of SVU about him. Yeah, yeah, Team Cop. But I hated that fucking teen cop in the episode, and I think everybody was.

They were trying to make us like him by the end, and I was like, but no, if you're obsessed with police, but you can't make the police force, you're you're unwell, You're unwell mentally and physically, like obviously like what's going on.

Well, they're trying to make it sound like pretty easy to be a cop.

It seems like, yeah, also there are you could do explorers, like you can do civilian searches when they do searches.

You know, like you can't just go in and buy all the shit.

First of all, they need to be a lot more discerning, like that should be like buying police equipment should be just as background checked. I feel like, is getting a gun like that because that is so fucked up.

But also so like officers assisted him.

So this last twenty twenty four on this like park Ridge park Forest thing, is that like like cops met him and with him they were searching vacant units. Like he was like something's happening, and then cops came and he was with them searching these units like just having the time of his life.

I'm sure, yeah, just buying stun guns.

I think this one seems funnier to me because he didn't fuck up a rapist, you know, like he's kind of just not like it doesn't feel like he's really no.

He just shoved his mother. Yeah, I shoved his mom.

But in the scope, this is probably the ten in the in the top ten least affected crimes that we've done, I would say, yeah, like in terms why we feel like unaffected, like no one's actually being affected.

Yeah, yeah, like totally this is the top like low stakes crime, I would say, yeah, so that's what's like exciting, and it's Cook County, so I always feel connected. Yeah, but I do feel like people impersonating cops is like very scary, especially now with like ice as people get serious.

Yeah, yeah, it's scary.

I don't.

I think they should be more careful.

You shouldn't let random idiots own army supply stores where they can buy cop shit. I agree, you have to either your outfit has to look exactly like copshit. It has to be copshit, or it has to be Amazon shit. Like why tell the difference?

Like why does my school give me gym uniforms but the police department can't give their people outfits?

Yeah, they have to go buy their own, Like what was department issues?

Because I know there's like scrubs, but I wonder if you they only give you one and you have to buy a bunch of you you have to buy scrubs.

Yeah, scrubs were in when I was in school. Scrubs are cool. My friend just got to play a nurse on Young and the Restless for a couple of days, and she sent me pictures of her and her scrubs.

Wait, wait, that's exciting.

I know.

I bet she knows how to memorize lines.

So I said, I was like, I can't wait to hear about this. She's she's been acting for a long time and she's never done a soap, So I'm excited to.

Know I've been rewatching the Dexter of it all. I saw your friends screaming in the for the Trinity Killer or is it not a friend? What is that story where someone was like, Oh my god, I'm gonna be on Dexter, everyone watch, and then it's just her being murdered naked in.

My friend wanted My friend went on a date with that woman and she was like next her and he was like, oh great, I'll check it out. And then the next day he watched her get her femeral artery sliced in a bathtub by John Lithgow.

John Lithgow is so fucking scary.

And I've had told you about the time that right after I maybe not he saw him, he came on the subway with me and like, my blood went ice cold. It's like, I know he's an actor. I'm sure he's lovely. He was also in Third Rock from the Goddamn Sun and I was like, the Trinity Killer just got on my subway car. I was frozen, like with fear. That is one of the scariest guys.

Also, Margot Martindale should have been nominated at least for an Emmy for her.

Role in that She was fucking good. Who was Margot Martindale. She worked in the records.

She wasn't in that many episodes, but she was like the older lady that works in the records. But then she ends up like getting lunk Cay concerned slowly dying and like Dexter ends up you know, helping her die.

Yeah, I'm bringing her pie and then she tells him a secret.

He tells her a secret whatever, but like she's truly dying of lung cancer and it was like really impressive to watch.

Oh man, I.

Love character directress Margot Martindale.

She is the best.

I have a pin of her. If you're listening. Thank you to whoever gave me that Margo Martin open. I think it must have been Portland. I think it was in one of those boxes. Yes, our listener that gives us the best gifts ever.

All right, we are gonna just move right into postportum because we don't have a guest this week. So here we go. Okay, well, wanna be I mean, this episode ends so abruptly.

The timing is different, it's structured different, like I don't know, you know what I mean, And it's like kind of a wild.

One yeah, yeah, it's definitely.

I just thought we'd go to try like I don't know when they end before even court that's always.

Yeah, there's no order in this one.

And maybe that was because like they wanted to use Sharon Stone more than just like in the courtroom, Like they wanted her like running around and doing it with a teen boy and like her little terrified face that she likes to make, Like, oh my god, she's got a good terrified face.

You know, I've never seen basic instincts. Oh you haven't. No, I have to do that because I love thrillers.

Yeah, but also, like you're younger than me, so like when that movie came out, it was just like, oh my god, like people could not believe that, like you could see like a flash of a woman's vagina in a movie and they were flat like everybody it was like a porn that we all had to go see. So like I think I saw it really young, and like everybody just was obsessed with going to see it. And I feel like you probably were like too young

Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited because I haven't seen fatal attraction either. I haven't seen that either, and I feel like, yeah, that's a blind spot for me.

I would maybe like it. I will. I will tell everyone about my birthday.

Yes, but also dad's just if he's a dorc, he'll find he'll fuck someone later, Like, don't buy your son.

I know, children, let's do a quick post mortem here. I think there was a failure of a few parents. There was a mom that was like, this is normal that my son is obsessed with fucking cops and his whole room is popash. That's weird. It's like you want to be a cop, that's fine. It's almost if you want to like Donald Trump. Okay, why do you have so much fucking merch? It's weird, Like, stop having so

Watching the four Oh my god, abuse is crazy?

Yeah yeah, and just like honestly it's we talked about unknown number at the beginning and it's not the same thing.

But like how the daughter like this daughter like in the doc like does not is not that mad at her mom?

I don't know. Wow, no progress.

So I did see one thing online where the where she's in the pink is old and when she's in the gray eight it's more current, and that they didn't edit it like they would use the footage as needed, but that she has not talked to her mom.

She hasn't talked to her anymore, okay, because when she finds out, granted she's shocked, but she doesn't get mad immediately, like later in some of the interviews, she's like, I, I mean, I want a relationship with my mom. I think we email all the time while she's in jail. I think it's gonna be fine. Like and I was like what. And it just reminds me a little bit of this guy being like, Daddy, I love you, and

Yeah someone, yeah, someone is just like she is like I'll talk to her when I'm ready to talk to her, like the grades.

He shared his more current views of her.

Yeah, and she went to college for like forensics or criminology or something like that.

Oh really.

Yeah. The episode of the show though, is like, uh, the ending and we talked about it earlier, but like just the ending was so like fuck, that's what's happening. Like you're using your son to rape by proxy, Like that's crazy.

I also get mad every time I feel bad for a rapist, like this show kind of makes you be cause it's like he's a rapist and should be serving life.

It is what it is.

Yeah, but it's like, fuck, you don't even have a chance.

I know with this dad.

Fucking no way to kind have killed the dad. All right, let's get to the juice. How's the birthday?

So, you know, my friends were like, don't go to soul cycle.

We don't have time.

You know.

Julia's like, I'm gonna be at your house at ten am, and I was like okay. So Saturday at soul Cycle, I was talking shit about them and I was like, yeah, my friends won't even let me go to soul cycle. So they gave me like birthday love on the Saturday class a little bit, and then Julia comes over and goes, guess what, We're.

Going to soul cycle. So it was all.

So I got to go to soul Cycle and it was so the theme of the day was like Liza's favorite things. So then after soul Cycle, we went to the public pool by Libby's house.

Oh, I'd been to that one. It was it's a good one.

And all the kids were back at school, so it was like very sparse people. So like, you know, she made a turkey sandwich and we just like swam at the pool and then no more than ten people were there at a time and they came later and it was very just like people cooking snacks, weed, games, alcohol. We did polish off a bottle of malort and a jug of espallone. I will say that, oh my god. But you know, tordelini, pasta pesto salad. I saw pics

Yeah.

And Ibbe has like a really good foot massage or at her apartment.

I don't know if you've ever put your feet in that, but like it's unreal. Damn, it's unkay.

But then Emmy was really funny because my friend of me because I told her about the days and about Soul Cycle. She goes, so you got to do what you would have done? I go, yes, but I was tricked into thinking I wasn't. And then I told them. I go, oh, I thought you guys were gonna come over and help me declutter.

They go what.

I go, well, I didn't know what else would be at ten am because I didn't get the vibe we were going to the beach. So in my head, I'm like, maybe we're just gonna declutter. And Alison goes, and then do your taxes? What the fuck are you talking about? And I go, what it would have been helpful?

I need help.

And then while we were walking back from Soul Cycle, I oh, by the way, if we're just gonna watch Housewives at my house or something like, can we spend time outside instead? And she goes, we have something planned. It's not just gonna be housewives. I go, okay, okay, you just have my favorite things and it is lounging. But yeah, it was just kind of a perfect, nice day. I can't say anything bad about it.

That's awesome. My birthday's coming up, and I have like no idea what to do. Rosie like really burnt me. She goes, Okay, so it's your birthday.

What do you like?

And I was like, yeah, I don't know. You are a harder person to shop. I'm like, what do I like that? I can get to an Italian restaurant?

Like my husband? They can get him a comic book. You know, that's what they got him for like Father's Day or whatever. Like, they'll get him like a comic book. They know that that's what he's into. And I'm just like, I mean, I like Bravo, I like Prestige television, I like traveling, I like wine, I like eating out, I like comedy my friends, I don't no. I'm like, I don't have enough like little hobbies and obsessions for the gift giving. I was like, I gotta think. I gotta

She's like, what do you like? I was like, hmm, great question.

I'm fully missing my friend's birthday because of works. Okay, I'm gonna get the gift that I got my friend. Okay, hold on one second, Hold one second.

Okay. So I saw this in a window.

I have never I haven't been proud this proud of a birthday present in a while. And I'm about to give this to my best friend. It's not like she's gonna fucking listen, so you can. You can announce it on the pod. Even if she listened to the pod, she wouldn't have gotten this far. Oh, your friend's birthday is tomorrow, right, yes?

Yeah?

And okay, are you ready?

Oh my god, it is a stuffy of the baby from Dinosaurs, not the mama.

Not the mama. That's so purpose not stuffy.

I mean, this is what is it? The size of Oh it's huge. Oh my god, it's huge.

And it has a pull cord. Yeah, but it's like it looks like it.

I can't even believe it. Look it's like a replica. It looks it's like the actual dinosaur.

And I had a price in my head when I ran into the store when I saw it in the window, and it was fifty dollars less than my maximum price that I had in mind.

Ooh, she's gonna love that. That's so too.

But I have to sit on it, like, I'm not gonna see her for like a week. But what all, No, I don't know what. Yeah, what should a kid get you? But the classic first kinds of gifts you give your parents. Usually it's like a frame with you in it.

Yeah, something focused around them, which is honestly a huge, a huge thing that does take up a lot of my time. I'm like, I do like you, guys, but you also take up a lot of my fucking time. Yeah, vegetarian. I mean, they could get you a chef so you don't have to cook dinner. Yeah, I don't know, Like I don't think that's what a kid is capable of though. No, no, nothing that I want they are capable of giving me.

That's true. Like I want and I'm getting an air fryer. But I'm like, I want an air fryer.

Can you guys get me that? Yeah, that's actually great. Yeah, maybe I'm shocks you went this long without an air fryer, I know, I know. Well, now I want to I want to get this really specific kind but why because it's one that is very well reviewed and I think it does a lot of different things that will help me. Okay, Yeah, So I'm gonna I'm excited to get it. I think it's gonna revolutionize how I make food for my children. And I'm really happy, Like I'm really excited to do it.

I think, are you gonna change your life? I mean I went to someone's house for dinner the air fried salmon. It was fucking awesome.

Yeah. Yeah, like ten minutes we were eating dinner. I mean it was nice. Yeah, I gotta get into it. I'm gonna read the manual. I'm gonna like learn.

Wait, so wait, did I tell you this that I got a call from my nephew and that he was like crying and then it was because of Dexter Resurrection.

Wait, Benji?

Or he just loved it?

Yeah, Benji, I was like so stressed out. I'm like, what's going on? And it was just like loving Dexter Resurrection.

Oh I love that. It's like so relieved. Oh my gods.

Like it's not the younger one. He's like, no, no, he doesn't cry. She would also never messaged me. He would never message me. I mean I did get a text on my birthday.

He was, yeah, but.

You had a great day.

I'm glad you had a great day.

I feel like Virgo season is upon us, and uh, all so many fun people have birthdays.

Yeah, and oh also it's also been the blood moon, and I love I loved blaming everyone's weird behavior. It's like even the guy at the bar, I'm like, it's the blood moon, babe, what do we think is gonna happen?

Oh my gosh, So I do have one more crime thing then we can go. I'm so sorry. So there's two things all from Instagram.

But you know the guy who started out doing like the Seventh Heaven recaps and now he's like a full blown star heart heart Rob and Anderson or whatever.

So he posted this.

It's from BBC dot com and I obviously have to look more into it. But surgeon jailed after amputation of own legs.

Yeah we got.

Yeah, Neil Hopper was motivated by sexual interest and amputation.

But I think if you do it to yourself, it should be fine. Why is he jailed? Can't you do what you want to your own body?

And then the heart throughout his caption was finally something normal in the news, Oh my god. And then the other thing.

Again, I don't know if this is a real sight or not financial but it's man arrested for setting cafe on fire because they ran out of mayo for his sandwich.

People are so fucked up. People are so fucked up.

I was like, I know, I have a crime thing, and then it was the craziest crimes that could ever be. I don't know why he's I mean, it says he's been jailed for two years and eight months for insurance fraud and possessing extreme pornography, So that has nothing.

To do with what possessing the extreme pornography? Can't you have pornography like, no matter how extreme.

It is also claiming that he had sepsis and it wasn't self inflicted, but that it was mys serious illness and he had used ice and dry ice to freeze his own legs so they had to be removed. So he admitted to two counts of fraud, three of possessing extra Yeah, the pornography had a special a sexual interest

Oh so I think these are two separate things.

I think he's jailed for whatever, like weird snuff porn he's watching and people being amputated, and then the but maybe the fraud that he lied about sepsis when he did it to himself. Yeah, he did not tell the medics the real cause of his injuries.

So I guess that's what it is. But then it's so it's the insurance claim. It's insurance. Yah, the insurance thing would be denied, like because it wasn't from sepsis, it was from you doing it on purpose, like but yeah, oh crazy, Yeah, he just.

Has an obsession with removing parts of his own body and a sexual interest in doing so.

Yuck oough.

A long shitting ambition. Yeah, if you want to amputate your own legs to get hard, you do have to pay for it, unfortunately you and it might be with jail time. Even in the UK. Insurance isn't that good? You gotta pay.

For your own.

I don't think that's what the national whatever it's called in the UK was set up for.

God, the men were having their genitals removed in the videos and he had all these but.

Is this stuff in the videos? Is it consensual?

Like?

Are people making those videos consensually, because I kind of think that you should be able to have any kind of violent move possession, any kind of violent thing that you want, if it was made consensually. Like if there's a video of somebody like chopping off their toes and they're doing it on purpose, and that gives you a boner, why can't you have that?

That's not like me, but like that's this is America, Like you're supposed.

To well, because how do we confirm that it's you're a right mind to chop your toes off?

Well, that's true, that's true too. I mean that gets into a whole other fucking thing. He says that he bitterly he does not regret the operations. He just bitterly regrets the dishonesty about the cause. Okay, yeah, so he's happy. He's happy and on his lower legs. I mean, like you said that there's images in Dexter that are like really disgusting, Like, how do we know that this stuff is real? How do we know that this stuff is not like staged? I don't know, like there's children involved

Yeah, that's a different thing. But I don't know. I'm kind of like, I don't know.

Maybe they get into Hey, maybe they have to go through all his amputations that he did for patients and see make sure everything was right on and not like just him trying to get excited. Yeah, like maybe like he was helping other people like him do it instead of oh right, for people that needed it.

He definitely was giving out a few freebies.

I think this guy for sure.

Yeah, come on, you're the most popular guy.

If you're a surgeon in an amputee in an elective amputee group, you're popular.

Yeah, oh my god.

Yeah, okay, okay, let's get into what would Sister Beeg do. This is our weekly segment where we direct you towards blogs, books, docs, art, websites, organizations, anything to give you more information about what we talked about today. And this week, I was really really bothered by how deeply fucked up the relationship was between the rapist and his father, uh, and I just it made

Will help us all in the long run.

This organization also proudly stands in solidarity with mothers and women across the nation advocating for their rights and autonomy, and by doing so, they say, we aim to create a supportive community that fosters healthier family dynamics and strengthens the bonds between fathers and their children. So if you want more information about them, you can go to fathers Uplift dot org and that will be say that's always in our show notes linked and that will be saved

Go follow us on Instagram.

Yeah please, And next week we will be doing all pain. Fucking We'll be doing all pain is one milady be what the fuck?

What the fuck?

I also thought my Lady was like a weird way like my lady like, I don't understand. All pain is one Matt, Like, what the fuck is this?

All pain is one malady?

Whatever, guys, it's season twenty four, episode twenty two. But I do have to warn you.

To get the full story of this next episode we're doing, you have to watch two svus and two Organized Crimes.

It is a storyline of four episodes. Or just listen to Kara talking about it. I don't recap.

I'm gonna recap it in a way where you.

Don't have to watch those if you don't, I'm just saying if you want to, and you're like, what's going on?

It is a series of four episodes. They're trying to get us to watch Organized Crime. Oh my god, bro, you're gonna be so proud of me. I walked up to someone on set and I go, you work at SVU or what? He goes, Yeah, I've done the camera there for seven years. It's like, ahha, that's like Psycho. If you want to get.

The full version of that is Psycho. But you fucking clocked a cameraman a so Psycho the if you want to get by got like that as a company man, if you're a completist with four hours to kill before next week. You can start with the SVU episode Bad Things, then it jumps to the OC episode shadow Work, then it goes to All Pain Is One Malady SVU, and then back to OC with the episode that is called With Many Names.

So thank you guys so much for listening. We'll see you next week.

That's Messed Up as an exactly right production.

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Thank you so much to our senior producer Casey O'Brien and our associate producer Christina Chamberlain, and to.

Our mixer John Bradley and our guest booker Patrick Cottner, and to Henry Kaperski for our theme song, and Carly Geen Andrews for our artwork. Thank you to our executive producers, Georgia hard Start, Karen Kilgarriff, Daniel Kramer, and everybody at Exactly Right Media, Dun Dun