Townhouse Incident

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Hello and welcome to That's Messed Up n SVU podcast. I'm your host Kara Klank and I'm Lisa Tragger. We talk SVU true crime up top. We do catch up. We have not seen each other in weeks. You know, I moved to New York and you went to an island.

Baby, you went to Saint Thomas. I want to hear all about it.

Well, I flew to Saint Thomas and I went to Saint John And if you can believe it, a listener even hit me up and was like, I live on Saint Thomas. Let me take you on my boat like you guys are, and it's really amazing cool. Unfortunately, it was a weekend invitation and we were leaving by the weekend, but they gave me some restaurant recks, one place that we had actually just eaten at, so but yeah, I

It was great.

It was like it was so beautiful. It was just like gorgeous, and I just was relaxed. I felt really relaxed. Like I came back and I was like being so much more patient with my kids. I was like, it's okay, what's going on? Like, I just like really needed a little break.

Yeah, well, you flew out on the Super Bowl. Did you watch it on your flight? Was that like the main thing you did?

No? No, because my flight was at midnight.

WHOA.

So I actually went to a Super Bowl party with my kids, stayed through halftime, went home right after, and then like, you know, I don't really care that much. So I was kind of checking the score, but I didn't really care. And then I turned on my TV at the last minute and I go, oh, oh, they're tied. They're in overtime. This is crazy. And then I was seeing am I incorrect that San Francisco was ahead a little bit in the overtime?

Well, no overtime, it's tied. That's why it goes into the overtime. Then they got a field goal for three. And the thing is the overtime rules in playoffs are different than the regular season. This is like one of the biggest kind of like mess ups in Super Bowl history, is what I'm getting from my explore page. Really yeah, because so like in normal and if I'm saying anything wrong, hit us up. But in normal season overtime it's whoever

But then in the.

Interviews afterwards, Travis said that they were talking about these rules for weeks leading up to the Super Bowl. They had specific statticians come in Jesus analytics guys, and they were over it over and over, and then San Francisco the dudes didn't even know about it. There's some micd up guy that goes, wait, but they get possession after fuck, And even the referees were like there there was hidden mics on them and they go, damn, you don't want to give Mahomes the ball?

He goes, yeah, that was weird, Like it was weird.

So yeah, it was like they were up three, so they couldn't score the touchdown, so it's just the field goal. So yeah, the Chiefs just needed a touchdown.

Yeah, Like all I remember seeing was like being like, fuck, it looks like San Francisco's gonna win. And I had it on mute and then suddenly I saw the Chiefs going wild on my screen and I was like what the fuck? So I rewound it cause I you know, one of the glories of still paying for cable is

That's what I always say. It's fourth quarter.

Fourth quarter basketball is the best, like anything can happen, and I didn't realize football is similar. But fourth quarter sports are like baseball's just a little chiller. But yeah, ninth like anything close. Like that's the beauty of sports, is anything can happen. Yeah, you know, that's the whole thing. You never give up. You gotta keep pushing because you truly never know. And that's what the heart of a champion is.

Yes, yes, yeah.

If you want to get to what was really turning me on about the Super Bowl, the fucking halftime show really killed it for me. Like I love the halftime show. I am not here for a single second of Usher, hate of Who's Usher or any of this bullshit.

I thought he turned it out.

He gave us Vegas, he gave us showmanship, he gave us Ludacris, he gave.

Us roller skates. Yes, I was screaming when Luda came out. Gave us homecoming. He gave us homecoming. I was like, Lona Chris do my podcast.

Well, I got very lucky. I went to a gathering as well at the Cellar. They actually closed down the restaurant for us to watch the Super Bowl. Cool and really cool like field tablecloths, you know, like and like plates that look like the shape of a hot a football, you know what I mean, Like, I just I really love that.

Yeah.

And then at one point I did order of aucas soda and I go in the football cup please, And then I got a normal cup and I go okay. So then the next time I go a double, so it's in the football cup.

She goes, I know.

I felt so bad, and I'm like, no, no, it's actually okay. I'm being silly, but you better get me a football cup.

You're like, I'm trying to express my religion right now. Could you please put it in the football cup?

Yeah.

But I got to watch the halftime show with black people from Atlanta.

Oh wow, So I had two shows to look at.

I had the show in front of me and on the screen and it was a projector screen.

So it was really like exciting. It was really fine.

No, and I got to watch it in like a room with a bunch of our friends that you know, and like we were just having a time.

It was really great.

And my kids were watching, like Rosie was sitting on a friend's lap and then Oscar was on my lap and they were really paying attention. They were wrapped like put Rosie at the party kept booing usher, but not because she didn't like it. She just was trying to get attention so she she could see everybody was having a good time.

And she kept going boo just to see what people would do.

And I was like, wow, stop it right now, Like I really gave it to her.

Being a contrarian is genetic. I see, it is absolutely genetic. She is ridiculous. No, but also you missed saying the roller skates. I mean yeah, to have a full roller skating situation, a glitter muscletop, we got a shirtless moment.

He knew what we needed.

We had not only Ludacris, Ludacris with the full frow. Yeah, we had the fro full out Like that was incredible. I mean, no one really cared about Jermaine de Prix. I do feel bad.

I did see him an adulta lounge, but his if it was wild. He was getting a lot of little Lord Fauntleroy confidence. Yeah. But also Lalicia Keys was a cool thing. Like it was incredible. I don't know, I think it was cool.

How like he even did some of his slower jams and made them work like at a sporting event, like I thought it was great.

Any One that had anything negative to say that is the product of the Internet. Yeah, I am actually just discussed. I know we talk about it time and time again, but like the lack of nuance on the internet is hitting me like a ton of bricks lately, where it's just like you guys are sick.

You can't actually be like this dnse about life, right, I know.

Yeah, it's it's wild. Like I asked my kid how they want their cheese? How dare you give kids choice? As you're a jebba, and it's like you, what is happening? What is happening?

No, it's like everything with the whole country right now is like let people live, let people do what they want. Like I don't know the fact that everyone feels like they have to weigh in or legislate or do anything.

And mean and mean.

A woman was just like a thing popped up in my thing where she and I know everyone knows what it meant, even though I didn't use the words, but she just sang like a kind of silly song. But her husband died and the song was about like, don't shovel snow if you're over forty five, and then of course the comments are like, who cares if you're a widow, you dumb bitch, stop projecting. My parents are healthy, we're gonna shovel. Maybe if you kept him better shape, this

Same with seatbelts, you know, like all of these things.

So all the cardiology and then everyone was just like just being sh my. My father's seventy in shovels and it's like cool and hopefully he doesn't die.

But like, I don't get why.

People think they know everything, they know the right thing. It's just like also not compassion that her husband did die, and like maybe he didn't have to shovel. Yeah, And then people were like, I'm in Buffalo, what are you to do? We're poor, we can't shovel, And it's like, I'm sure there's a fourteen year old that would do I don't know. It's just like, but how did this devolve?

I love you to live.

I heard the cold might do something with your horror because my dad, you know, is out there.

Yeah, I know your dad is out there.

So I mean, sorry for that stupid thing. Obviously, we have more to talk about the Super Bowl. I mean it took over a week. For a week, I don't think I watched anything but after party super Bowl footage. Like I didn't watch Bravo. I have not caught up on SVU. I did watch Traders and Drag Race made time for that of course. Yeah, but like I have watched every grainy cell phone interaction angle from that party, and I I am I'm standing their love.

If anyone was confused, yeah no, yeah, that's clear. That is clear.

Oh wait, I forgot to tell you. Also, I did ride in the back of a cop car on Saint John. So that was a very important, uh moment for me for what well this fucking I mean, you got to you. It's like the trade in of going somewhere beautiful but also having to be like on island time. You know, that's like not my vibe. I'm too high strung for that. Like I'm always like, what's taking so long? What's happening?

Like, and I was just like, what's happening.

I mean, I didn't get mad, you know, I'm trying, just trying to be chillin island Cara, but it's hard. But anyway, we go out to dinner and afterwards we go have a drink and I didn't realize, like on a Tuesday, you have to take these big van taxis everywhere, and on a Tuesday night they're just like not running anymore. At eleven o'clock, it wasn't even like it was midnight. It was eleven o'clock. We're wering around the whole area looking for this a van taxi.

There's nothing.

We stop into a bar buy another drink that we don't even want, just so we can ask the bartender to call us one. He calls his guy. He's like, my guy's not answering. We're like, what's gonna happen? Like, how are we gonna get home? Because you can't even call anybody. And then we went up to these cops and we were like, do you know where we can get a cab? And they were like no, sorry, sounds

It's just you can't walk it. It's like up a mountain.

So these cops took my friend went in the front seat, and then me and you know Rachel, we were in the back. No doors, I mean, no windows that can be rolled down, no handlebars. It was claustrophobic and hot, and it was like a six minute drive, Like I did not enjoy it.

Is it a hard shell seat or a soft seat? No, it wasn't hard shell it was like soft.

I was like a small suv but like full gating everywhere, and like you can't even like see out a window. Like all these windows were stablers going over to like talk to a kid in the back of a cop car and rolling down the window. It's like they're no, this had git all over it. So anyway, I just thought that was a fun little tidbit. What else, I feel like I have ninety thousand things to tell you.

Yeah, you really cut me off from my tailor's corner.

Well, I'm sorry, I guess I'm I just you know how last week or two weeks so, I was like kind of annoyed where I was like, you don't have to stand during Sciss's speech.

I'm annoyed.

And then I saw a different angle of that video and you see her turn to a friend going, oh my god, I got a shout out, and I was like, oh, that's cute, you know what I mean, Like anytime I'm a little annoyed, I'm not.

So I did want to say.

That, well, what did you think of the everybody was talking about how like you endanger girl tailor because of how Travis was screaming at his coach on the side, like he's got a temper, you know, And I was like, well, he's an alfob.

Oh no, you do not do that to a coach, especially not Andy Reid. That is bad sportsmanship, that is not good behavior. But I listened to the podcast and it's like, you know, you know, Jason called him out, and he's like he knows he needed to handle it better. But it's also like it's none, no one knows. He goes, I wasn't yelling at Andy. I was being like, fuck, we fumbled, like I want to get back in. Like he wasn't yelling at the coach. He's like, we have

That's another nuanced thing too, Like if we just see a photo of him looking fucking furious and in his coach's face. But I didn't really I thought he was yelling at him. I didn't actually yelling about the game.

Yeah, during the game, I was like, ooh, that is not good. I'm not into that. Yeah, and then Andy goes he keeps me young. These boys keep me young. And they won. If they lost, it would have obviously looked different.

But they won.

And then it got worse from there because he got blackout drunk at the Kansas City parade. He tried to sing Garth Brooks out of his mind. But then with the shooting, that was awful. That is like such an awful thing. I don't want to get deep into it. There's nothing more to say. We live in a fucked up place and that's so fucked but that happened, that lives are lost, and that, you know, I hope we can enjoy these parades in the future. It's just like

You know.

It's like like when that thing happened in Ariana Grande's concert that fucks you up. Like they people were like, how dare you go to dinner, and it's like they also were in a parade where there was people getting shot, Like I don't know. Yeah, it's the internet thing, but that I wish I didn't even bring up the shooting. But I'm just saying he was more itchy their blackout drunk could not stand trying to sing Garth Brooks on the stage.

Yeah, ye see, it was crazy. But these guys work so hard.

I mean you're pretty much sober and working hard for eight months.

Like even the game.

That you watched, not knowing much, you could tell that was a grueling game. Yeah, or not at all. No, it looked hard. I mean, I don't know what always looks fucking hard. I don't know how to play any of these games. You played football, yeah, but not like the speed and the hard Like these guys just get so knocked around. But I had a great time in

Wait when did everything get there? Did it get there before you left?

Yeah?

Got there on the thirteenth. Okay, I would say.

The foreman in the New York office is not as friendly and charming as our La counterheart. So then I left town for two days. Bless everyone that I got to see in Phoenix.

I want to know about the all nude review or not nude but you know what I mean, the mail strip show or whatever it was.

What was it?

It was mail review, but I mean one guy did flop his dick up and down like in his little you know, underwear. Yeah, but not full nude. At first, it was like what, oh god, what is going on? But then once I started drinking tequila and getting into it and just walking around the tables with a microphone instead of trying to like interact on stage, it was the best.

The guys were the best.

The guys said that they made the most money they've ever made on a weeknight because of me, because they were like, if there's a way that you can like remind people to tip and then they were like, wow, you were really blunt with that, because all I just said was like, who needs singles?

Give them more money, go to an ATM, you dumb bitches. I got titched out. I got seventy dollars given to me by someone. And you didn't have to take off a stitch. No.

They tried to put a pretzel bread in my mouth. I'm like, I'm not choking down a pretzel bird. You guys are sick. But they were also selling fifteen dollars cans of whipped cream and these guys were getting lit.

Oh. But also I was like, uh, what are these guys gonna be?

Like? I kind of had like porn star energy in my brain, and those guys like, I don't know, I don't know, but they were mostly gay. Yeah, four another five were gay. So I just felt right at home, just friendly, friendly faces and voices, and I did enjoy that. And then one guy was straight who I think got maybe seventeen numbers, like he black Diamond, Black Diamond was up and around and he was getting it. When you're the one straight, you're gonna Yeah.

I've only ever been to Olympic gardens in Vegas for a bachelorette party, and I think I've told you about it before.

It was a little bit too intense for me.

It was a lot of dry humping, so I don't know, I haven't seen a lot of I would honestly rather watch women strip or do sexy dancing than men, even though I am straight, so.

A hundred percent these guys would walk around, they would flip the women over. I mean, talented talents of guys. And then the next day it was like stand up people came. It was it was a thrill. It was a thrill. I don't know, amazing. Everything's been fun. But then I came back and like the thirteenth, I unpacked some boxes. But since i've been back, it's like it's truly go, go go. I'm getting ten thousand steps without even trying or thinking about it.

I love it.

I have too many plans, too many things, too many spots. I'm doing five spots a night on the weekends. It's just like, oh yeah, wild, that's great. It is really great, except I need to unpack a box now.

But my friend, you know, Juliet, will come over and.

Yeah, and I will get You just have to be in the mindset to like do it all.

No, I think it's the opposite. I think it's no. No, I don't do it all at once.

I mean you got to be in the mindset to like plan it out, like what's every day? Where's everything goingna go? What's it gonna look like? Like sort of you know, sit down and really do a plan.

Yeah, but I need to organize a I just whatever, it doesn't matter.

I'm like thrilled.

And I had been having so much trouble with my locks, like I'm just really bad at keys and locks, and like sometimes it would take me ten minutes to just get into the doors, like I just could not figure it out. And then thank goodness, I met a girl in the doorway while I was stuck, and I go, girl, I keep getting stuck in here, like, can you give me a clue? Yeah, And she gave me the tidbit I needed of my dreams and now, oh, I'm getting in and out of this apartment.

Smooth, amazing. She unlocked the code literally for you, all right, that's great.

Yes, And I live next to an h Mart. You know how, I'm obsessed with Korean convenience store tiktoks.

No, I didn't know that, but cool.

Oh yeah, So it's like women going to convenience stores and then they like buy little cute lunches and like drinks and then they put it in ice whatever. I live next to an Asian food store called h Mart, so I straight up get to buy those triangle rice things with like tuna inside and seaweed, and I got. I had a honeydew melon drink. I had banana flavored chips. It's right near me, Like, I'm so excited, yay.

I can't wait to come and get a full tour, full tour of the h Mark. Yeah, baby, and your whole hood. You got to take me to. I'm sure everything's different. I used to be in that neighborhood every single week multiple times. I'm sure everything's changed. I don't think so, you know, no like businesses wise, like there's not new places.

Mermaidens closed.

I mean, I'm sure, but I don't think it's like that drastically different.

You know, is anything in the old cabin or is it still just the shell of cabin.

I don't really remember the exact address of cabin, so I don't know.

It's like on fifth and second or fourth, Okay, one of those.

It's right down there. But you're also on the road.

Yes, thank you for mentioning that, Cara. So, in a wild turn of events, i am heading into my alma mater. I'm doing a free show. The link should be up. People kept messaging me, but it's fucking free. Just show up. It's at Iowa State. I'm so fucking excited to be there, so that'll be all what day on February twenty ninth, leap year, so it's extra special.

February twenty ninth, Oh my god, it's extra special.

And Sydney Washington will be opening for me, so that'll be really fun. And then March fourteenth through sixteenth, I'm at the Philadelphia Punchline. March twenty second through the twenty third, I'm in Rochester, New York. All right, the March twenty seventh, Nashville, March twenty eighth through the thirtieth, Chicago, and then April we got like you know, Washington State, Baltimore, Austin, New Orleans, Kansas.

Great.

Oh my New Orleans is actually getting moved to June.

So okay, well you can go to That's messed up live dot com and go down to the Lisa's website link, and that takes you to like all the legit ticket links that are on Lisa's thing, So go see her do stand up.

And we will let you know when we're back on the road.

In the meantime, if you want a little bit of extra of us, go get some of our merch on the merch store. That's also what that that's messed up live dot com website.

You can go to our shop.

Link, and we added a couple of items that we were selling exclusively on tour. We sort of put the rest of them up on the website. So now you can get fanny pack, you can get a tour sticker, you can get a little enamel pin, you can get a sticker sheet. There's all kinds of stuff new that's really like sort of more affordable, low price stuff that's up on our exactly right store.

Oh.

Also, I am running into our listeners all over New York City. I am, and the person I ran into at soul Cycle, I was high out of my mind, So sorry if I wasn't as active, but that is what I need to push myself through the day.

But it was great.

Yeah, I'm running into a lot of our listeners all over.

Yeah.

Some came to the show and I had some SUW friendship bracelets that I got to share with someone.

Yeah. Yeah, so it's been really exciting. You guys are the best.

And yeah, I posted a photo of Scary Island because I forgot that I was on. I was literally on the beach from Scary Island, like I was on the Johann Face Johann Face beach, and I completely forgot Saint John is where they went. I think I thought they were in Saint Bart's or something. And then a listener was like, I know exactly where you are.

I was, I can't believe we have listeners in the Virgin Islands. It's really wild. You guys are the best.

Keep stalking Lisa all over New York and me all over LA, but just at Target because that's the only time I ever see any of you. And if you have a moment, follow us on Instagram where that's messed up pod there, follow us on I mean, don't follow us on X.

I want to get rid of that anyway.

If you feel strongly about us staying on X, let me know, but I want to get off and then rate us, review us wherever.

You do it, Get off, Get off.

I know I want to just get off because a few people interact with us there and they're nice, So I'm like, why, you know, why don't I just But it's like, come over and see us on Instagram. We're with a different cycle millionaire over the bazillionaire over there. But yeah, give us a review on Spotify or Apple if you can.

We love it.

They're all evil and I think, you know, Mark Zuckerberger, should we tried for war crimes? That is one of my you know opinions. Yeah, the guillotine where he gets hung. We heard, yeah, yeah, that is a constant for me. But everyone thinks he's a dork. You know, everyone's like boo. That's the thing with Elon Musk. There's people who think he's cool. It's so said.

The people that think he's cool are the saddest. That's really sad. That's really fucking sad.

That's why he's like more data. It's just like, it's really crazy. It was actually annoyed. A fucking clip of Joe Rogan showed up in my shit that bothered me where he was just like, California's just got too liberal.

It's just too liberal.

You know, I'm more in the middle now, I'm more in the middle. It's like, living in an anti abortion state is not middle. You are waging war on women like you are not middle. Like, I don't understand how you can think being in an anti abortion state is in the middle of anything.

They don't mean for those of you that live in anti abortion states, we're talking about a bazillionaire who could live wherever he wants.

I just like, don't know how that's middle, Like, it just doesn't make sense, like what people think it like moderate is We've talked about that. It's like, no, no, no, no, you guys are actually in the fringe of society. And I just saw a thing. I did not fact check it, so please do not come for me. But it was basically like this dude, his wife or girlfriend got pregnant and he didn't want her to be so he was poisoned her with some abortion pill right in her water.

Did I already talk about this? Would me? I don't know if you've talked about it here, but you've told me about that? Yeah?

On her YouTube because I was like, oh, why are they moving? So I watched her YouTube podcast episode and basically she was just like, well, we want to have a family and it's just more family friendly. I'm like, Texas is the least family friendly place you can be, Like what is family friendly to you? Like?

What are you fucking talking about?

No, she doesn't want money to it's taxes, Like he's like moving to these places for tax purposes?

Do have the balls to say it is family friendly? And then she did like a question thing on her Instagram and I go, how do you you're trying to get pregnant?

You talk about how you're actively.

Trying to get pregnant and you are going to a place that you can go to prison for having a miscarriage, and you're saying that's a family friendly state.

It's just like it infuriates men.

She has the money to fly wherever the fuck. She needs to get her own medical care, you know, so she doesn't care.

Yeah, she goes.

Yeah, the homeless situation in Venice, I gotta get out of here. And it's like, honestly, you could probably solve it. You can buy a property and you can like make homes and then have like you can do that. Rich people complaining about the homeless in la is disgusting. Yeah, those Caruso freaks, those Beverly Hills people like. It is like, you guys can actually solve the homelessness if you really wanted to.

I know, still don't I know it, But listen, what got a great show for you guys today?

We do.

We also had so much to catch up on it.

Now I feel like I'm crazy, but whatever, we'll talk about Traders next week.

Oh, I'm fully I don't watch it, but we talked to a lot on the trip because Rachel watches it, so I know a lot of information.

Now you should just watch it. You would like it.

Oh, I know, I know, I would love it. It's just you know, where I gotta find the time. But like I got all that I like was asking all these questions.

Are you caught up on drag Race? Oh? Yes, who's your favorite?

I mean I kind of feel like it's gonna be between Sephira and maybe Nymphia in the end.

But I like those two.

Nymphias the Banana right, Yeah, I'm Nymphia all the way You're Nymphia and Sephira.

Sephira's got like the vibe of like perfection from the beginning.

And Plain Jane that's my top three.

Yeah, Plain Jane is good and she is such a bitch, and I'm trying to like get around to like liking the bitchiness.

But sometimes I feel like it's I.

Don't know, who are the bitches from past drag Race that I like, Mistress. There's bitches like I don't mind Mistress, I don't mind Roxy Andrews, even or Bianca was a bitch a lot. You know, Like there's just something about planin Jene that seems like so much like more evil.

Well, she has the history of the season, so she's playing a game. I mean she's straight up gotten to Nymphia's I mean, like unless that's editing. I mean Sephia has had to use the potion. Yeah, you know what I mean. She is there to play a game and fuck around and cause chaos, and that's what she's come to do.

So it's like she's definitely great. She's great for the show.

You know, Roxy, I don't think realize she was so cunty and I think she feels bad how she treated Jinx, you know what I mean, But like this bitch came to be a bitch. Yeah, Roxy had trauma, but so does she. I mean, so does playing Ene. Yeah, she's my Russian Jew and I'm cheering.

For her of course, of course, no I know. And she is sexy, like I'm sorry she is.

Yeah, No, she does great. She she has a great face. I mean I'm a little bit sick of the titty bibs to be honest me too.

I don't like fake titties. I really like you. Oh I like you. I really like you. She's good.

So maybe I want a top four. Yeah, we'll see how those go. But those are the faves.

But I mean Magami going home this week, I was like, this should have been a while ago, Like, I feel like mcgommy's not been bringing it the whole time.

Who called me e or that was? That was perfect? Whoever called her?

I knew Magami was gonna go home because they kept they kept showing her talking so much shit in the confessionals. It's like I love watching people struggle, and it's like, bitch, you're going home.

Well, and she was like, this is an emotional song and I gotta sell it, and then completely misread the emotions of the song Flowers. The whole point of Flowers by Miley Cyrus is like I can get flowers. I am free, I don't need no man. I am out, I'm dancing. My life is amazing. Yeah, I'm in Malibu. It's like joy than she played it like oh.

Like she looked pain.

She played it like a woman on a balcony, like about to jump, like she truly did.

Yeah, Maya has to be kicked off though immediately. Maya I think should have gone home before Mogami.

Maya. No, her lip syncs are better, but.

Yeah, the lip sync is like she's she's getting the ellipseync assassin stuff. But Tricksy's obsessed with her share imitation because she goes I I'm sure like she does this like crazy share imitation that sounds like kermit. Anyway, I feel like Annalise has made a thirty minute flag.

We have to start.

Yeah, there it is, and we have a great episode one I've been wanting to do.

It just went crazy at the end, and that's what I have to do.

I'm going to delete Instagram off my phone right now on this podcast live that is.

I think that's Oh, you're doing it right now.

I have to remove the app by delete app, okay, delete, because that's where my rage comes from. I get fed this information that upsets me, and then I come on here and I yell instead of moving on to a horrific crime episode that haunts us forever.

You know what I mean?

Like, why am I talking about Elon Musk and being mad and about Texas went? I also care, But yeah, it's my phone that gets me raged.

It's gone. I deleted it again. Don't DM me okay once again.

I'll be fielding all of Liza's dms over at the dast messed up pod account. We will see you there, guys, Stay tuned. Great up coming up.

All right, we are doing Townhouse Incident from season seventeen, and this is an episode I would say Kara has been dying to do.

I mean a while.

I hate to say that because I feel it is one of the most haunting, one of the most fucked up, But I think I just wanted to cover the crime because of where I'm from, which is also deeply fucked up. But I'm a sick person. I don't know what to say. You guys know that if you're listening.

Well, yeah, And the reason it took so long is because we had to wait for every single actor from this episode to say no to be a guest. So surprise, there is no guests on this episode. So this is a new era of our show. Guest no guest surprises. Yeah and yeah, so Townhouse Incident, and I guess we will do a trigger warning. This one is really upsetting. This one's upsetting. You're all upsetting, but this one is.

Yeah, this one has a lot of wild details that are upsetting.

Well.

And also anytime we see our queen in distress, it adds well, That's what I.

Was going to say too.

This is very hot off of William Lewis, which was season fourteen fifteen. It's like, you only gave us season sixteen to chill and she's.

Already a bit chill. There was Johnny D. It was like, oh, not chill, but not.

I guess her being held against her will, like they give us like no time to breathe before she's back. Anyway, not to spoil, but you're getting.

You're way hold on, give me a second, let me go grab my snapple.

Yeah, I'm in New York. Oh you bitch.

So this starts out with a woman walking and you can recognize her anywhere. That's the babysitter extraordinaire. It is Lucy and she's strutting, She's really strutting. And then she heads up the stairs of a brown stone knock, knock. A woman answers, ye, Lucy, hi, and the mom was only opening this door just like a little crack. So sorry, I meant to text you, but Luca has straps, so you're out of here. But like she does, Lucy does

Hey, really quick, really quick, do you know who the mom is playing her?

Yes, she is from the episode.

Send In the Clowns, Send In the Clowns. Oh, I only brought it up because you love her name. Her name is Wendy Hoops, and I know you liked that name when we covered Sending the Clowns. She's the one that's married to will Sasso, but it's been cheating on his ass.

Yeah.

She was also in one sex in the City episode Do they shoot single people, don't they?

Or whatever? That one?

Yeah, but also she is huge and Daria, so she's Quinn and Helen, so Daria's mom and sister. And she is Jane Laane, so yeah, she is a cool woman. So anyway, so Lucy's with Benson and goes, hey, you know the Cravellos or Cervello's I already don't remember how to say it.

Oh.

They have two kids, and she walks to the younger boy to school, and this morning the mom was acting strange.

Something is off, and she goes, you.

Know, shaky voice, redmarks, nervous, yelling can you just please swing by? Benson of course, very passionate about her job and keeping her babysitter happy.

This woman is a very amazing babysitter.

Lisa opens the door and she goes, oh, Noah's mom, And right away she's like, Lucy isn't here, and Luca's sick, so that's that.

Get the fuck out of here.

Benson is trying to talk, She's trying to pry ask some questions, and we hear a man whisper go let her in. Very upsetting. She's pushed against the wall immediately with a gun. There's a woman with a gun as well. She calls Benson a bitch, and then there's a teen daughter crying. She's standing by the stairs, and Benson's like, fuck Lucy, like, oh my god. And then Lisa apologizes to Benson. She obviously feels guilty. But in my head, why do you keep opening the door?

Yeah?

If I was holding people a hostage, I would not open the door. I think, I don't know, I've never done it, but.

Yeah, I feel like the guy keeps being like, open it and send them away so that it doesn't feel suspicious, like because if you go over to someone's house and knock on the door and you can't find a family, then you're then you might call the cops.

I don't know.

I'm trying to get the mind inside the mind of a very drugged out blacko.

So it's the drugs, because in my head I would not answer the door. Yeah, but you know whatever. But it goes to credits, obviously, and I'm scared. These people are unhinged, and now we are trapped in this townhouse. We open back up and there's another man in a beanie and he pops into frame. And this guy you

Sexual stuff is rape.

But they did and the beginning really tease it into being like the sweet friendship.

Yeah, and then and then it until it wasn't. Yeah, yeah, until it wasn't.

But he plays kind of the same kind of guy here, you know, like I'm a good old idiot.

But there is a gun there.

And he's in another episode where they beat up homeless people because his girlfriend's dad. You know, it was like a red hairring of another episode we covered.

Oh you know how like Taylor Swift's website crashed the night of the Grammys to like with all these clues towards for the album, like all the clues come together in different languages spelled out red herring or something like that, like a Japanese Like, shit's insane. She is so insane. I mean she does love SVU. It makes sense.

There's clues, there are there is detective work. There is a spell backwards. I'm gonna get it written on a door. Oh my god.

You know those iren the like straightener They look like straighteners, but they're just smooth out clothing.

Yeah.

I saw an Instagram targeted ad and it's iron backwards.

It's Nori. Oh fucking like we got you.

Well no, no, they told me. They told me the video. I did not come up with that on my own. And he legit walks in AND's like, who is this bitch? Everyone thinks Benson's a bitch. She's just a woman, and then everyone has like guns on her. Her hands are in the air, and she's like, I'm only here by a chance, but I do have to admit to you I am an NYPD officer, and she admits to being armed.

He takes off her gun.

He's looking for another gun, and while he's there, he does grop her and then they ask Lisa, like why won't your man just cough it up? And so she go and like give us the money, and she's like, I told you, we don't keep cash in the house. And to me, it's like, why would you lie? If I had three guns pointing and my children there, I would give you my safe. I'd give you diamonds, I'd give you my cash.

Like in what world?

I mean, we're gonna find out carroty Met said it. They're on drugs. They're on drugs. They keep trying to be like, well no, I keep trying to be like why would this man, Like why would they risk their children's lives for a safe? Like they don't have a safe here, Like grab some jewels, grab a toaster, and run out the door. Like it's a failed plot, like go to the next townhouse. This is out of control. There's so many guns. Anyways, so the red haired woman

So because like even if the dad was being a man, the wife would be like, stop, the safe is here, here's the combo, like you know what I mean, Like even if a man was trying to be like tough and like, I can handle being beat the shit out of Like, but yeah, the kids, you're right, it makes no fucking sense.

But drugs. Drugs.

So yeah, so we have so the dad's getting beat up by the beanie boy. We have the mom got thrown on the ground, the teen girl is standing, we don't know where Luca is, and Benson's against the door, so that's where we are. He asks who else knows you're here? She says nobody. They don't believe her, but sadly it is the truth. Nobody fuck, I mean, Lucy knows,

It is I don't know what they did for makeup for him. He's got red eyes like very scary, like.

Gross like and the daughter is visibly scared. And so then now we cut to Baby Dodds and this is so annoying. We don't want to see any of this, Like we want to be in the townhouse, but we don't because it's scary. But like, everything that happens is so fucking annoying.

So whatever.

We go to Baby Dodds and Finn and they talk boxing and then Creasy interrupts him and is like, hey, where's live We got a call, and dodd says, well, she's gone for the day. Fuck at a conference. So she's supposed to be at a DNA conference, so that's extra bad. And then Carreese is like, looks like our pushin rapists struck again in Chelsea, so we're gonna go find this rapist and he says, well, I'll text Benson when I get to the sea and just to let

He is so bloody.

So then the jaundice guy yells at the beanie guy and goes, you said there'd be a safe with money. They own ten supermarkets. So the beanie guy has a different idea and he's like, listen, Roxy's upstairs taking the jewelry. Let's just leave. After that, the leader, of course, is like, absolutely not. You said there's a safe, you need to go find it. So the mom whispers to Benson, like

You know? And so Johndice is.

Doing coke at the moment in the middle of this is not the time to do cocaine. But the beanie guy is super, super worried, and he's like, on this goose chase for the safe that he probably made up in his head.

I wonder if it's coke or if it's like meth. He seems like really wild for coke.

You're right, but it looked like he was. But do you sniff up meth? I think you can.

You can snort meth, but I don't know. I'm only going off of breaking bad.

I mean, I don't know. Yeah, it is really tough.

So then a leader with Benson's phone sees a text on her phone and it's about a rapist and she's like, can I please see it? And Benson has a black guy. It's tough. So Roxy comes down with just two hundred dollars and it's crap jewels, and they don't trust the mom. They're like, what the fuck? We know you're rich, like you live in this townhouse. So they threaten to bring her son down and so finally the mom's like, well,

Oh I know I recognized him.

Yeah. Yeah. So now we finally meet the young boy.

He's tied up and he's like, where's my mom And Benson's like, it's okay, sweetheart, She's okay. And the boy it's like, no one knows who you are, Benson. This boy's been tied up, like he doesn't know you're You're a random woman that's just punched and brought in.

Like who here's what you're saying, you know.

And he unfortunately also has the pee and he's tied up and Benson's like, hey, can I please help him in the co head is like absolutely not. So he puts her on the bed and then asks Roxy for something and zip ties Benson's hands behind her back.

Good.

So now we're at the apartment with you know, the other squad people and they're on the roof looking for this rapist who climbs buildings and attack. So they find him up there and they arrest him and they text

Go in there.

And Benson goes, Roxy, this is on you, like, let me back in there, and she keeps trying to plead with Roxy, who then pistol whips her and so she falls back on the bed. Pistol whipping is not chill.

And then the.

Ginger bitch puts a gun to the Benson's chin and goes, don't do that again. So we hear the teen like pleading for help on the other side, and she's with like the Jarndice cokead with a knife. Benson looks worried and pissed and this is terrible and it's just getting worse, and the music sounds like tasers which also isn't good, Like instrumental already is scary, and now it's like a techno taser, so I'm not I it's it's not relaxed.

But what's also crazy is like at this point, the Ginger reveals that they're a couple. Jaundice and the redhead Roxy and the and cooked Jaundice as you've been calling him.

Are a couple.

And then Beanie is her brother, So that's the gang. And it's just like you're just gonna go let your boyfriend go assault a team while you're hanging out keeping guard.

It's wild.

Yeah, yeah, because I also don't see I mean, she they obviously all love drugs, but like he's the only one actively doing drugs dah that you see. Yeah, I guess the rest of them are more professional robbers else they like.

To stay clear headed.

So we're, you know, at the precinct now, and the rapists that they got from the roof is like, you have the wrong guy, I'm gonna assue you, and Finn Increasy are leading him handcuffed like shut up, we have DNA evidence, and he just says lawyer.

So we're back at the townhouse.

The boy I like that it is in short snippets like it does make me in a rage every time we leave into that stupid storyline, Like I'm like, can we just can we just get them to find out that she's been taken?

But you know whatever.

So the boy is yelling to Benson, he's hurting her, make him stop, like he has to fucking listen to sister getting assaulted right now. And then Roxy yells at him to shut the fuck up and for Benson to do something, and it's like, well, why don't you untie me, you dumb bitch. Did I not tell you that I was gonna like help? And Benson goes, I'm not gonna do anything stupid, Just let me help the boy. So

Also? What is a DNA conference? I thought I was gonna rape kids? But now that Barba there, why is he there? Yeah? New a guess in DNA. I don't know.

I guess Barbarush couldn't learn about rape kits too, Okay, so they all take a breath in. Lucy is now running in to talk to Detective Creasy and he's so charming and she is so stressed. So she is shocked to hear that Benson is not there, and she's like, that's not good. I sent her to check on another family because I got bad vibes. And Lucy then got a text from Benson and it says, stuck at precinct all day. Pick up William at daycare. He has a playdate with Lewis today. So smart, it is so smart.

Like, what was it?

No?

I think she picked it up that she's like, his name's Noah, not William, Like why does she send me this weird thing? And Benson knew she would bring it to somebody and that the squad would get the William Lewis reference in my opinion.

But my thing is was was Noah with Lucy? Oh no, he's a daycare? Yeah? I was like, okay, who's Lucy's baby?

And Lucy's also probably like he doesn't have a friend named Lewis, Like, who the fuck? What are you talking about? What's this message?

Yeah?

Wow?

And she already did see the fear and the mom that morning. Okay, Yeah, Lucy is an angel. I wish she agreed to do the podcast. Me too, So if you're friends with her, let her know we're pissed.

Okay, So.

We wanted to talk to the best babysitter in fucking New York City.

So that means no one has fucking talked to her.

And like they go, if it says William Lewis, that must be a code for a ten thirteen, And the boys are get into action right away, and they have to get to this townhouse, and so Barbara keeps calling Benson and Roxy's annoyed, and Benson's like, listen, I'm a working woman. Some people have jobs. And the rapist comes back into the room with the teen daughter. It's really hard to watch. She's a very good actress. She's really roughed up. Benson helps her and he notices she's untied.

Shut up.

He threatens her and he goes, if you pull anything, you will never see your son again, so you know, but not like Benson is so shut up. Of course she's gonna pull something and you're not even gonna see it happening. So anyways, Ralph Ralph calls. So they got cash from the ATM, but the mom is really upset and she demands that she gets to talk to her children before they enter the bank. Roxy says, absolutely not, we need the money first, and so they keep arguing.

The jaundice coke guy is a rapist. You know.

He keeps getting more and more titles that keep getting worse and worse, and then he goes what she wants to hear them scream and Benson's like, oh, I have a great idea. Why don't you just take a photo of them, just send them a photo and so that's a great idea and then for the money worth it, So he does it, and then he goes, if no cash, they're dead. So now another doorbell rings and it's like, who the fuck is it now?

So and who's gonna get the door?

So the leader puts the gun on the on Luca and tells the teen you go downstairs and if you fuck this up, your brother is going to be dea. She of course cries, this is too much for a teenager in the morning, and so Roxy has a gun on her head, so there's guns on each child's head. She opens the door slowly and says, I'm not supposed to open the door, and it's fin and creasy, and they're like, oh, no, worries. We're truant officers for the school and you and your brother weren't at school today,

Do you know about truant officers? It is a real thing.

There Are they real coops or do they work for the board of education? Like do they have guns and batons or just flashlights in a notepad?

Like?

What is a truant officer's like full scope of life?

Where it exists a school? This is Wikipedia.

Where it exists a school, truancy officer is often a constable or sheriff. Okay, there's something that says that the homeschooling community has to interact with truant officers. It says NYPD has a truant unit that will patrol parks and beaches on nice weather school days, but if they catch you, get put in advant inced back to school. This is all off of a Reddit and the response is a couple of years old. So I don't know for sure

Yeah, if you know a truant officer, yeah, maybe we'll talk to them.

Who knows. Okay, So anyway, it feels.

Literally like put like toothpaste back into two or like it sounds like one of these impossible jobs, like kids are always going to skip school, Like you're just going to be running around being like, why aren't you at school?

Like, I don't know, it feels like a crazy job.

But well, I wonder if the actual heart of it's not because I don't trust authority in our world, but like I wonder if it's like, oh, fuck is the home life?

Okay?

Like I wonder if it started as like, wait, do no parents care for your kids? I mean, my nephew doesn't go to fucking school. I don't know what the balls on this kid?

Okay, like that, if the school reaches out and says your kid keeps missing school and the parent doesn't respond, then maybe they'll send somebody.

I don't know.

Yeah, And Finn is in a peacoat and Careasey's in a puffer. So if that's something that you were interested in knowing, that's what's happening. Roxy is relieved that they're gone, and then Joe is pissed and he's like, those are cops. What the fuck would you say to them? And then So grabs the teen's face. She's so scared. She says nothing. She's like, I just told him Luca and I were sick, and Benson says, hey, look, they might have figured it out like that I'm here because I'm a beloved figure

You guys need to get the fuck out of her.

Music plays and the cooke had re uses to leave even though Roxy wants to leave, and then we see backup. They're on their way, the snipers already, cops vans, lights everywhere, Dods and Creesy and Finn. They're getting scooped from the other officers. One guy I recognized Kevin Gear, who sadly did pass in twenty seventeen, at only sixty four, but he's been in four Suvsvus, Svius Sacrifice, Conned True Believers, and then this one so spanning season three to seventeen,

He also looks like Ron Howard's brother.

Yeah, and that's why I felt like he looked familiar. But when I looked him up, the svws were the big.

Thing that I yeah, yeah, yeah.

And also the girl that plays Roxy just came back in season twenty five. In the season premiere, she plays like an SVU detective from Jersey when you know, like they're fine trying to find the girl that is like the thread of the whole season. Yeah, so she was back as a cop just to red Hair still yeah wow love that. So yeah, so this guy, this actor, he tells them like, we have to wait for hostage negotiation.

And Roxy goes, yeah, I told you so, And Benson goes listen.

Why don't you just keep me Let Richard go the dad, I'm your best asset, and Roxy's like, fuck, they're gonna kill us, and she's questioning her whole life in this moment, and then another twist, the coke boy asks where okay, So this is where we actually find out about the brother, but I guess it's fine. So then Joe is like, where the fuck's Ralph? Where's your brother? He should have

She should come up with the next idea.

So then he tells Benson, you need to get us out of here, tell them to stand down, and she says they're not going to do that, bro, and he goes, well, then you better make it, shoves the gun to the teen into the teen girl's mouth.

Oh my god.

She cries put and like and pushes back, and finally Roxy's grossed out. Finally Roxy has hit her limit the rape fine seeing the gun, yeah, Benson goes, okay, stop, give me the phone.

I'll call my sergeant.

So you know, he obviously goes speakers on speaker on no secrets.

Dodd's answers.

So then Joe demands all cameras down that are like spying into the home and that the snipers go away, and Dodds agrees and goes, fine, I'll do it.

I'll do it.

And then they go and we're going to bring in a negotiator, and this guy like hates the idea of the negotiator. I guess like drugs are so bad. He goes, I don't want to fucking negotiator.

What are they gonna do? Bring me a pizza? I don't want it.

And Benson's trying to make him understand, like, so you're actually holding a family and a police officer hostage, Okay, babe, So this is a very serious scenario. If you don't talk to them to the negotiator. They will burst in and they will take you down. He will die. Roxy goes Joe. So then Joe goes fine. So he asks who she trusts in the NYPD. She goes my whole squad, and he goes, no higher up, someone that really cares about you, and someone that cares if you live or die.

She thinks a little bit, who's it gonna be?

Tucker? It's Tucker. He's walking in. He has a tan, he does have a sexy tan, and he's ready to save Benson. So, Tucker, do you think they fucked after this or like they took a day off like you know what I mean.

I didn't remember if they were already together or not yet.

Either way, Yeah, there is tension, like when someone saves you from mohstage.

Benson will be saved.

Sorry to ruin it, guys, Yeah yeah, spoiler, she doesn't die.

Here, But like, you fuck the person that saves you, right, I guess? Yeah? I mean I would be turned.

I think that's the rules, but maybe I would be tired too, like I just wonder. So Tucker immediately gets it. He goes, this guy's hopped up on drugs. His emotions are high. He's high as hell, so there's no rational thinking at all, so we need to like act like, you know, we're dealing with an idiot. So Benson is tied up again. I did not notice that, and I'm not happy about it. Joe sits her down hard and goes, where is the guy with the juice?

And she's really confident. She's like, he's gonna be here.

So she asks to check in on Richard since Tucker will be checking to see how the hostages are doing, and she asks to take Roxy with her, and the bozo goes, this is actually all your fault, so if anyone dies, it's on you, and Roxy goes, nobody is gonna die. She's gonna get her friend to help us, and we're getting out of here, and Joe is like, what about your idiot brother, which is a great.

Paul rud movie.

Okay, and Benson's like, the cops are all over here. If he saw a cop, I'm sure he went in another direction, you know, Like you're not gonna drive through the cops to get back into this townhouse. Like I mean, this should be an anti drug ad. So the phone rings. The man's the main psycho answers. There's laughing and sniffling Benson. You know, it's put on speaker. Benson's there and a gun is pointing at her. So then she's breaking down

I'm sorry, I.

Keep having to do this, like I keep being confused at his behavior, yeah, and then remembering he might be on like and it's not because it's not a criminal mastermind, Yeah, because it's yeah, and he just loves attention. So basically his demands are he wants an SUV with tinted windows, but it's also like gibulletproof glass, you idiot, no driver and can't be rigged, and a million dollars in cash.

This man has seen too many action movies. Like the demands are such like what a teenager would demand, Like it's why what.

Would you demand? I mean, I don't know, like he's so fucked.

It's like whatever he does, he has to take somebody with him, like he has to take Olivia with him the whole time.

Well guess what. It gets even more crazy. So he wants, you know, he wants the streets cleared out to a helipad like he's the fucking pope end quote.

Then that's a cocaine idea. You know what I mean that is?

That is then the helicopter is gonna take him to an CJ four jet with no pilot because he can fly the plane.

Like he wants three modes of transportation.

It's so insane. It's like you're on an island. You're on like the most populous island.

You're not getting out, like I don't know.

And then Tucker goes, Okay, that might take some time, but I'm on it, and Joe says or else, and Ticker's like, yeah, no, we will get these things in motion. But in good faith, why don't you send out these kids? And he goes, how about I don't shoot the kids dead? How about is that.

Good faith enough for you?

And then a loose cop tells Tucker they're ready to go in, and Tucker goes absolutely not. He's making demands, which means he's looking towards the future, which means he wants to live. And let's not get tactical. They tracked an ATM withdrawal and they're headed over there. You know, they go and Creasy arrests Ralph pretty quickly. That's not even that big of a deal. Guns, you know you're under arrest, throws them to the ground. He blames Joe

So now Dodds and Barbara are.

Doing a street walk and talk talking about Ralph the beanie boy and him being fired his record failed drug tests. But they're like, he's not the ringleader, he's a fool. So they're taking the but you know, they're in the bus, they're all talking and he's giving a lot of info. Okay, they're doing all this because him. He's saying that him and Roxy's mom needs a new hip, and Barbara nods like, uh huh, yeah, I'm sure, this is not for drug money.

But it's not even like our mom needs a heart transplant. Our mom has like a terminal disease. It's like she just needs a new hip. Like, I don't know that the stakes aren't high enough for what you're doing.

Yeah, but if you have cons I mean, my mom has had two hip replacements and it is life changing.

Sure, sure, I just thought that they were trying to make If he's trying to get some sympathy, then it's like, oh, our mom is has cancer and is getting kicked out of our apartment.

Oh way do you mean do you think that means that maybe he is telling the truth because the hip replacement's not that good of a lie.

I think he's too stupid to come up with a good lie.

Uh So Ralph is like me and Roxy are not in charge. Joe sucks, but he stops talking for just a second, and Barbara has a moment to go, I will put you away for le any murder if anyone dies.

Okay, so he immediately starts talking. He goes his name is Joe Utley.

You know, the mom is being taken care of by EMTs at the moment, and she's like, hey, you know, I'm Wendy hoops JK. That's not really her name. But also in Sex in the City, her character name was Lennox. Is that a name?

Yes, my son, my daughter goes to I went to school with a boy name Lennox.

Boy. Yeah, boy, it's a cute name for a girl.

Though I think I know, I've just never I know at the hospital y and I know it is a last name. So anyways, she goes, oh my god, they were beating my husband so bad. They wouldn't stop. And Chrisy's like, well, the good news is that head wounds. They're bloody, but they look a lot worse than they are. But he does want details, crazy, you know. So now they're getting information from the mom and from Ralph. How many guns? There's three pistols. Joe had a machine gun too. Uh.

So now what.

Basically, Tucker offers Joe fifty grand and bonds from the bank for a trade for the kids. Joe's finger goes in the air like one so okay, Joe is on board, but only one person leaves, So bring in the money and one person can leave. So Tucker's like, okay, good choice, I have your cash. EMTs are going to go in and we're gonna get the dat out. No tricks, no guns, just let him out. So then Joe asks like Benson to look and see what the EMTs are wearing.

She goes, yep, just uniforms.

But he wants to know that they're for sure not carrying, so he makes them strip down, but Tucker negotiates that they get to keep their vests on. So these EMTs walk in as strippers with vests on in their underwear and undershirts, which is annoying to me, and they should be shirtless for our entertainment. Ha. And then he's like, what about my car? And helicopter. Tucker goes, yeah, I'm on it. There's a lot going on, sir.

This is like very much like a oh Pit Crew moment for the EMTs one hundred percent.

So then Dodds is actually one of the EMTs in underwear. They cut with another EMT and they walk the dad out and the guns are pointed at the EMTs the whole time, and then he goes, actually, you guys take off your vests, so like Tucker. So now the guys give the vests to the terrorists and then walk out with the dad. Tucker congratulates Dodds and the other dude on a good job, and then patronizes Joe and goes, thanks so.

Much, dude for the switch.

And then the car is there, the escalator, suburban or whatever, and then heal he wants the keys ready in the ignition, the engine running, and the swat team gone with a clear path.

Okay, veruk assault, you can't get everything.

He makes Benson put a vest on Roxy, and Benson whispers to Roxy, you don't have to do this. They have your brother, he is safe. I know you don't want to die. This is your chance. Go out there, get on your knees and put your hands up. Roxy says, shut up. So Roxy walks out. Roxy slowly walks down the stairs. She gets in the car passenger side. Benson peers out the window and now Roxy gets back out

She gets really nervous.

She looks up, she sees all the swat all over her, and she doesn't want to go back in. She doesn't, and Joe yells for Roxy to call back in, and Roxy thinks and into the phone she says, I'm.

Sorry, Joe.

She drops to her knees, puts her hands up, and they get her and they arrest her, which I think is better than being shot dead for a man. And that's like the new don't go to jail for a man, do not be shot dead for a man, So don't get a man.

No no.

Joe points the gun at Benson yet again and says, damn you, and she tells him to take it easy. He asks what she said to Roxy. She's like, I didn't say anything. Joe yells, I'm sick of you lying to me. Benson goes it's better for you. You don't need her. We're so close to getting out of here. So the phone rings again. Benson tells Tucker, I feel like Samuel Jackson should be here.

This is so cinematic, you know.

Benson says, tell Tucker how we're gonna do this and points to him and says, your terms, Joe. Tucker says, I got everything you want, a car, helicopter, jet, but we need something in return.

Kids.

He goes, no, we're going out there together and if anything happens, we're all dying. So Tucker goes, no, we need one kid. This is just how it works. You don't get everything and we get nothing. He says, fine, when we get in the car, you can have the little kid. I'm keeping my girls. I don't love that one bit. The teen starts to cry. Benson is sweaty. Joe finally realizes that they're going to take him out,

The power struggles. They walk off.

So now Joe, the kids and Benson, I'll walk out of the garden level of the town home. Benson and the two kids are in front of Joe. Gun is on Benson's head and she is calming the kids down. The swat is surrounded and they're creeping slowly. As Joe yells for the cops to get back and get further back. The swat is getting fingers on all their triggers. They're

And I don't want to hear the real crime.

Yeah, it's bad, but thank you for the recap. I feel like you made that fun. Even though that episode really puts me on edge.

I actually was thinking about that the whole time. I go keep your tone up, I go, things are happening, but speak as if it's not.

And I feel like I really did focus on my tone there.

Yeah, we're really trying to entertain you, guys, and not just fully traumatize you.

So kudos to us. You know, I snuck in some references. I've really tried. Yeah, so you didn't have to think of a teen girl getting assaulted as her brothers tied up listening, needing to pee, you know.

Yeah, it's just home invasions are freaky. They just fucking are. They are one of the worst things I think that can happen.

Yeah, it's all the worst things.

It's like your dad's getting beat up, your mom's taken away the kid, there's a random woman showing up.

Thank god, you.

Can't live there again. I mean you literally gonna have to move out of that house. Like, it's just it's so many, you know, it's an invasion. But yeah, we'll get into the real crime as soon as we listen to a few of these messages.

And we're back.

But just to piggyback off what we were just talking about, do you know this Instagram corporate erin?

Yeah, I love corporate erin.

Oh my god, sorry, the word piggyback just reminded me so funny. If you're not liszt Gata, listen to this character corporate erin.

So No, it's really.

Wild, like so much of Tiksaw and like Stram when you're on it, it's like, who is this person? Why are you talking? This is regurgion. And then there are just these creative geniuses that we get to find because of our phones that like connect millions of people across the globe.

And I love that funny.

And she's like, if you if you work a corporate job or you ever have this girl like absolutely nails corporate speak and it's and the tone and it's so funny. But like, my husband is a huge horror freak and there was a movie that he watched that made him faint one time about a home invasion.

Like home invasions are so scary because was it the Naomi watching?

No, No, I think it's a French It's like, no, I think it's French or German. I'll find out the name from him. But like it's literally like just the scariest thing that someone could come into your home and then stay there for who knows how long, Like they're just.

The scariest things.

So there are obviously a lot of few home invasion stories that this story could be about. One of them I realized was the murder of Savus Philip Savopolis, who was a prominent Washington DC businessman. A home invader killed him, his wife, their ten year old son, and their housekeeper in Washington, d C. Just back in twenty fifteen, like

Bring me a pizza?

And like this guy got busted through Dominoes, which I actually thought you would think was kind of funny, Lisa, but it was this I remember it happening and being like, what the.

Full like because I see her no and I see.

I like caught domino my eye immediately, Like if there was a word search that's like, what are the first few words you find are what your year is?

Then like I saw Dominoes immediately totally.

But then I didn't want to keep looking because I like to just listen. Yeah, if I don't know about a case, I'd rather listen than look at the notes.

Yeah yeah yeah.

So wait, so are you saying that Chesshire was so bad and then this other one happened that was bad, but like not as bad, so then they kind of were able?

Is that what you're I think? I know, I mean, I think so.

Like if you go to the Wikipedia for example of the Savopolis murders, there's a link to the Cheshire murders in it, you know what I mean, Like they are definitely reminiscent. I don't know. They also set the house on fire. Their similarities. But also this guy worked alone. They think his name is Darren Wint and he was you know, convicted, and it was just a really wild

So I would have passed Cheshire.

I have passed Cheshure dozens and dozens of times coming to and from college, and it's hard for me not to think of the cat. I know, I know, and you know. I played the Cheshire cat in a play when I was nine. I think we deserve a photo of that on Instagram.

Oh my god, I bet my mom has one. I'll see if I can find it.

Yeah. I played the Chesher Cat and a little production of Alice in Wonderland. So this all happens around late July of two thousand and seven. A woman named Jennifer Hawk Pettit and her eleven year old daughter, Michaela, goes shopping to buy groceries for a dinner that Michaela's planning to make for her family. This family, the Pettit family, are like a super Connecticut picture perfect family, like what you envision when you envision a family from Connecticut, and everybody loved.

Them in the community.

They were popular social Jennifer was formerly a nurse that ye New Haven Hospital, but then switched careers, I think to work at a school or an organization where she could work with children. And her husband was a prominent endocrinologist, doctor William Pettitt Junior.

Yeah, sit here, you know, I'm an end of chronologist goer. Oh yeah, from Alara and Royd.

Yeah.

And he ran a diabetes center I believe in central Connecticut. So like he was, you know, well known and respected. And then Jennifer, the wife, had MS and they had a seventeen year old daughter as well named Haley, who had like raised money for the cause. Haley had just graduated from a private school that I'm familiar with called Miss Porters, and she was headed to Dartmouth in the fall, which is where her dad went. And Mikayla was entering sixth grade because it was the summer, so she was

His Bilogun team. Yeah.

Wow, what I found in my research was he liked to break into people's homes and then but he.

Was arrested after eighteen. It wasn't like he was arrested at eighteen times for that.

No, No, I think there was a string of home invasions and they led him all to him.

Yes, That's why I was so shocked.

I am obviously not shocked that someone could do eighteen, but I was like, why would they keep letting him out?

Yeah, like you need to be yeah, you have a problem. You need him like you need an ankle monitor.

But yeah, but he just but he got away with a lot, So I guess he was good at crime.

Well, what I found in my research was he said he liked to break into people's homes and then listen to them breathe while they slept, and he liked the feeling of violating people's privacy and their sense of safety.

Like he liked that.

I think that's like what gave him more of a thrill, because it's like you can case a place and rob it when people aren't home. You know, people in Connecticut are going on vacations all the time. People in every state are going on vacations. You can always rob a house when people are gone.

But is he like jerking off or it's just I like it? And I'm not even at this point, he is what I've heard. I don't think exert and jerk off either. I guess you can have urges that aren't Yeah, yeah, interesting, I'm really having.

I wouldn't give him all that much credit. You haven't heard the rest of the story. Uh, I'm not. I know.

I'm now spiraling in a train of thought of like, you know, they obviously get a thrill from killing that people like to kill serial killers.

Is it always sexual?

But I guess no, because if you like skydiving, it's not so maybe like skydiving, and.

It could just be control, which can also be sexual, but you know, doesn't have to be. It's like, you know, with Dexter, I think he liked the I don't think it was you know that he's also you know, a fictional character that we both enjoy. But Komisarjevsky was adopted and his biological family had a history of mental illness, and then according to people in this documentary that I watched, he was adopted by a family that had like no

You know, I wonder if this is how the wet Bandits met halfway houses.

I didn't you know you don't think about that.

Yeah, but these and there's an SVU like the you know, the rapists in that group, they all meet together, like yeah, they meet in prison, they meet at these places and then they decide to do crimes.

Together or the pick up basketball game. This is out of control.

Yeah, sadly, like I think that the mother and the daughter like looked rich, and so his idea was to rob them. But also he was attracted to the eleven year old named Mikaila. Komas ar Jefski was the younger one. So the two perps texted back and forth all this stuff later that night, stuff like quote unquote, I'm chomping at the bit to get started. That's something Hayes wrote to kamas ar Jefski at seven forty five that night. Also she wrote, quote Nita Margarita soon, very casual conversation.

But you know, they were planning.

To just rob the petits, tie the family up, and they had no plan to physically harm them.

So that night, after seeing.

Them at the grocery store, but technically it's the early morning of July twenty third, because he'd seen them on the twenty second, komis ar Jevsky and Hayes break in around three am. Komis Ar Jefski gets in through the basement door, where he found William Pettitt asleep in a sun room. He took a baseball bat that he found

Then they tied up.

The mother and the two daughters in each of their bedrooms and pillowcases were put over their heads. They searched the house for money. They found some, but they weren't satisfied. The next thing that happened weirdly is that Hayes took two gas cans from the Petit home and is seen on security footage filling them with ten dollars of gas

I didn't even know.

I think he probably overheard the mom say it to her, you know, or maybe she had something in her room that had it written or something. I don't know, but like that's a nickname, and like in the doc documentary, the family members are like, how dare you like use that name? Like that's you know, that's not yours to use. And he took photos of the assault on his phone. They also later found traces of bleach on Mikaela, so they think it's possible that he tried to destroy evidence

Kombus Arjewsky's side.

Is that Hayes was like, Okay, we got the money, let's kill them all and burn the house down, and komas Arjewsky was like, I'm not killing anyone, and Hayes said, fuck it, I'll take care of all of them myself, And komas Arjewsky said that he said to Hayes, You're not seriously going to burn these two girls alive, are you. But then he also says that he went upstairs to their bedrooms where they were tied up and closed their doors and that it never crossed his mind to untie

Either way, they're both bad. They're both bad.

Yeah, they're two deeperent damaged psychopaths, like they're equally responsible.

But it's very I.

Don't know what they're arguing. It's like, it doesn't even matter who the mastermind is. You both killed.

People because they're both trying to not get the death penalty. So there was a lot of arguing over who was going to be who was the mastermind both the death penalty?

How about that? Who made who do it?

I'm against it, but yeah, this actually gets more into that. Actually honestly, so it's fucked up. They set this up. But meanwhile, let's not forget that. William Pettitt Junior the follow up, father is still in the basement, bleeding profusely from his head wounds. He's bound and he's heard his whole families. He's heard his wife's attack, and he called out to her, but one of the assailants yelled down, quote, don't worry, it's all going to be over in a couple of minutes.

End quote.

That's when he knew he had to escape, because he thought, oh, they're just going to murder all of us. So he did manage to break out of the basement, his ankles still bound, and he rolled himself across two yards to get help, and he was discovered yelling for help in I think a neighboring backyard. So now, after Hayes killed Jennifer, they both doused the bodies I think, and the home and gas and set it on fire. Hayley, the older daughter,

It's really, it's really horrific. I'm sorry, it's.

Like the most horrific home invasion story pretty much of all time.

Well, because when you when you were talking about the gasoline and that's kind of my brain actually went to

Yeah, so it's fucking horrific. So it's tough because the cops do seem to be making a lot of fuck ups. But it's also like Cheshire, Connecticut is not seeing a lot of huge crimes like this, you know, so like they waited too long to answer the to get into the house setting up a perimeter. The cops also never called any firefighters, so when the like just to be just as a precaution, they could have just called firefighters. But then the fire breaks out and the cops are

They chase them.

They smashed into a police car a block away. Smoke starts to pour out of the accident, and that's when somebody calls the fire department. When both of the perps are apprehended and pulled out of the car. Are This is an interesting point that Colemis ar Jefski's lawyer's point to,

Was going on.

Like everybody at the time was like, kudos to the Cheshire Police Department. But then during trial it started came out that like the family almost could have been rescued, or or at least the daughters might have been rescued

That's a really good point because it's like if you know, it's like they don't the cops don't have money in the bank, yeacause you and your campers like to say, like we don't give cops the benefit of the doubt, yeah, because how could you with all the evidence in front of you. So it's like if we had more trust in officers and their duties and how they you know, act, we could be like they did the right thing, They followed everything right, because that's what you need to do.

And this is a terrible thing.

But we know cops are fucking dumb, yeah, and don't care at their jobs.

And Uvaldi is like such a fu you know what.

That like left my consciousness for a moment and like that hands like the cops getting hand sanitizer and just standing there, just standing and like people not being more mad,

It was so fast. I'm I don't know if they thought and who went to get to get the gasoline? Hayes, What do people think?

I mean, are there like people are split on the theory of like which who I was?

I mean, I will get to the court case. Okay, sorry, no, it really is pretty split. I mean, like nobody knows. I mean, okay. So, Hayes and Klomus Arjevsky both confessed to their crimes, but they both claim the other was the mastermind. In twenty ten, Hayes gets tried first, and her defense team tried to use klomus s Arjevsky's own journals to paint him as the disturbed one who escalated the violence like and he does seem like the more

They're not like, what if I get the death penalty?

But his point is, yeah, but that's another person who commits crimes being put out off the streets. But I think that's also what prison does. So the following year, twenty eleven, is Coomas s Arjewski's trial. He's convicted, also sentenced to death. His sentence is also commuted to life in prison in twenty fifteen, and this fucker, I mean, Hayes at least was like, it's over for me. I don't want to put this family through anything else.

I'm good.

Komas Arjevsky tried to appeal and appeal and each one got rejected, and he even tried to get to the Supreme Court and they just they declined.

To hear the case.

This case definitely made a mark on Connecticut law. Like one week after the crime, Governor Jody Well ordered electronic monitoring of parole burglars that September, just a couple months later, she banned parole for violent offenders and ordered review of convicts already on parole. And in two thousand and eight, she signed a forty three page bipartisan crime bill in which home invasion became a new class of crime that came with a prison sentence of up to twenty five years.

Treated end quote.

So I was reading a lot of information about trans services in jails, and I think it probably various states to state, but what I was reading was that there is like gender dysphoria treatment that you can go through, like hormones and stuff like that, but they won't do gender reassignment actually in prison, like that won't be covered, but there is thousands of dollars for each inmate worth

It is wild that it took something like this to ban parole for violent offenders.

Yeah, but I do believe in parole.

I Nah, maybe it's like a three strikes I don't really know how it should go. But when Hayes did the podcast, she still used the name Stephen, but I believe now uses the name Linda, and at the time, like never said anything about pronouns. But Hayes is incarcerated in Pennsylvania, as is Colmus sar Jevski. They're in separate prisons.

Everybody. All right, Well, we don't have a guest, so I guess.

Now guests, so let's just sail into this post forum on a river of blackness. So, as we mentioned earlier, no guests today, but we will just hop right into that post mortem. Baby.

I mean, obviously, don't get addicted to drugs, don't do drugs.

No, and like such a dark episode. I remember like being like, oh my god, this episode is so dark and I knew it right away. It was based off the Cheshure murders because you know, Connecticut crimes are close to my heart and I don't know this one.

The one home invasions.

We obviously already discussed how that's scary, but like, yeah, anytime where a child is being assaulted or torture or hurt in front of family. Yeah, as an added layer of sad that I don't enjoy.

Right, But it's just like I don't know.

This episode, like the real crime, really got me thinking about just like how one thing can change in two seconds. Like if those two guys had not been at the same halfway house, would this have happened? If one of them hadn't spotted Mikila in the supermarket, would it have happened? Like, you know, just the whole randomness of like people crossing paths and how it can go so fucking wrong, and like, yeah, they both acted like that's not how they wanted the day to go.

But it's like, but then who made it go that way? Like, I don't know, It's well.

I think that's also the thing when people like idolize these killers and are like, ugh, evil geniuses, and it's like, no, they're evil and dumb too, Yeah, Like they're panicked, they're dumb, they don't know what to do, Like we have to stop giving them credit.

Right right, I mean I'm trying to think, like who's the last evil genius serial killer people were into? Like people were upset, I mean people are obsessed with Dahmer.

Okay, so I didn't watch Dahmer, and I had no interest to watch Dahmer, but I watched clips of the actor and like a Hollywood reporter round table and impressed with him.

Oh, Evan Peters, he's very good. He said.

He walked around with like weights in his hand to practice to get this the walk down, because the guy stood weird and like that. I admire that sort of preparation. Yeah, and so a part of me wants to kind of see that. And one of the ladies that was the meanest to us that we've ever interviewed, she's in that, so I kind of want to pay homage to her. I'd like to see her at her finest as well. Listen, No,

Yeah, it's like.

And the burning of it all, Like yes, it's like what we were talking about before. Though, It's like these smaller towns like they're just not ready for massive SVU level crimes happening. You know, like these cops in this little town were just like setting up a perimeter while all this was going down, and like, you know, it feels like the training was not there.

Well not even training the bravery well.

Right, but like some of these guys can be on the force for forty years in these towns and probably never like never deal with the murder, you know. So I don't know, is it bravery or like if you're if your guy is telling you, if your captain is telling you set up a perimmer. The whole structure of the military the police is like listen to your boss, like the top guy or whatever, right, like fall in line.

It's ego, Like that's the thing.

Like we talk about toxic masculinities so much, right, actually I don't think we do, but not like.

I don't think we've ever mentioned it. I even never talked about it. We've talked about it.

Yeah, but it's this thing of like, you know, the super masculine things where you have to be like the most masculine like military. Like you said, it's like, but the flaws of masculinity affect you guys negative, like you know, if they just let a let of a little bit of their ego go you know shit like that, Yeah, or like there's just certain stuff where I just keep

I don't know, Yeah, well, I mean it was MEGHI me think too about Jeffrey Dahmer when we were talking about it. It's like, what if his parents had just been okay with him being gay? Like what if that had happened? You know, like I wonder if you would have turned into what he turned into, you know, nature versus nurture though.

Who knows.

Yeah, anyway, shall we get into our what would Sister Peg Do?

Shall we move it along? Yeah? We do a segment every week.

If this is your first time listening to the podcast, What would Sister Peg Do? Is our weekly segment where we direct you to an organization, an article, a book, a blog, another podcast episode, something to give you more info about what we talked about today, or possibly donate your time or money. And we wanted today to highlight the Pettit Family Foundation, the family from Cheshire. Who you

Thank you so much. And next week we'll be doing Internal Affair from season fifteen, episode four, So can't wait for that.

And we're obsessed with all of you.

Keep watching, keep listening, rate, review, subscribe, Okay, yeah, see you guys.

Next week.

That's Messed Up as an Exactly Right production.

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Thank you so.

Much to our producer Casey O'Brien and our associate producer Christina.

Chamberlain, and to our mixer John Bradley and our guest booker Patrick Cottner, and to Henry Kaperski for our theme song and Carly gen Andrews for our artwork. Thank you to our our executive producers, Georgia Hardstart, Karen Kilgarriff, Daniel Kramer, and everybody at Exactly Right Media.

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