Choreographed w/ Bob Saget

Of the law and Order franchises. SVU is considered especially watchable.

We are the amateur detectives who kind of investigate the vicious felonies.

These episodes are based on. These are our stories.

Done Done, Welcome, Hello, that s Messed Up NSVU podcast. I'm Kara Klank, I'm Liza Trigger And every week we talk about an episode of SVU the true crime it's based on, and we have a guest from the episode, and we have a great guest like always as usual.

And it is for twenty before twenty babies. I'm going to get taco bell. That's how I'm celebrating.

I think you should go to whatever you should worship at whatever church you want.

In today's highest of Holy Days.

I'm getting a on shrap and a cheesy gourdida and I'm going to smoke a blunt.

I hope someone will roll a blunt for me today. I'm sure you can get someone to do that. It is weird. Have you ever watched someone roll a blunt or a joint. It's like a surgery.

It feels like it takes a really long time and it's like very meticulous.

No.

What messes me up is like they have to slobber. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, yep, that's the sick part.

Yeah.

The guys in college used to like put the whole thing in their mouth afterwards to like seal it up.

Yeah, and then I would just like meet a stranger and smoke their shit.

You know.

It's why it's not COVID friendly. Blunts are not COVID friendly. I gotta say no.

Most drug use, I don't think is because even the ones that like, you could do Molly, but you'll want to touch someone you're not. It's not going to keep distanced on Mollie. No, absolutely not. We also, okay, we have to start off with an issue. Karen and I've been having so and actually this issue my friends are also.

Not on my side. Okay, yeah, I know what this is.

So I'm sick of silverware dividers. I don't need them separated. I don't know why they need to be organized. I don't like it. It stresses me out. So I wanted my silverware loose.

In a drawer, and I think that is insane. I don't understand why when you're looking for a spoon, you wouldn't want to just open a drawer and go here where all the spoons are, grab a spoon and move on with your life. You're like, I'd rather do a treasure hunt and find the spoon.

There's not that many things. There's only two. There's a knife, fork, spoon. It's not like I have big spoons and small spoons. I have big forks and little forks. Yeah, so that's why I use a divider.

Also, it's like there's little crummies and things getting in that drawer, a little dust particles. I just feel like the divider keeps everything like cleaner.

Well, I bought one of those like papers that are pretty the grandparents like, yeah, like shelf paper.

Yeah.

I mean that's a step, But I just think that a two dollars divider is what you need.

I just don't. I just can't believe this is the hill you're dying. I'm not gonna die.

Well, our friend made me buy like one container that I'm keeping. I'm gonna buy two steps. I'm just gonna throw them all in one container and see how I feel. Right now, they're loose in the drawer and I have no complaints.

I would love to hear from the listeners silverware dividers or just full on jungle of silverware.

Tell me how you organize your drawer.

I know most people do it, but I wonder if they might join my loose games or not, if maybe they're sick of the dividers too. I also reveal to everyone I haven't washed produce and forever I don't want to, but that seems appalling to the group.

But I'm just like, what's the worst that can happen? I don't know, probably.

Salmonella or blueberry doesn't have sell. I have to wash a blueberry. I'm popping it in my mouth. I'm like done, I'm just done with all these fucking rules.

Oh my god.

Yeah, this is because the dirtier you are, the less susceptible you are to shit, because your body is used to being dirty.

If this podcast was going to get a restaurant grade, I think we'd be getting a C. I think we in the window storefront of our podcast would be.

A sea rating. So I'm just like no, because you bring it way up. Well.

Look, I'm not even crazy about like harsh washing produce or whatever.

I rinse. I rinse. I'm not like super psycho about it, but I do rinse. Yeah, I mean I wiped it down when COVID first started. Yeah.

Also, if I'm alone in my house and I know I'm going to pee a few more times, I might not wash my hands. Like if you pee in the middle of the night, are you washing your hands?

No? Not if I p in the middle of the night, yeah, Like, I mean, I'm literally sleepwalking to the bathroom and I'm pregnant, so I am peeing multiple times.

I don't have time for the hurt. I'll come over. I'll I just high five to you before the show started. So here we are now.

If I know, I'll wash my hands when I am seeing people, I also have a desperate I.

Don't know if this is another desperate it is desperate. I was.

I've been watching Inked YouTube the channel, so it's like a tattoo magazine and they like well in her it's like talking head style with tattoo artists and they talk about different topics. And one of my favorite characters from ink Masters Kelly. I don't know if it's Dottie or Dodie, but Kelly. She does a new school. She lives in Salem.

And when you say characters, you mean a full real life person. Okay, Yeah, yeah.

No, she's a real person, Kelly, and she has Law and Order tattooed on her body.

Oh yeah, yeah.

She talks about how she loves true crime and true crime podcasts, and so I just in case she's listening, I want to say, Kelly, I watched you on ink Masters, and please hit us up.

If you're friends with Kelly from mak Masters, please tell her that Lisa is a fan of her character and would like to talk to her about life.

But the reason her her season was the best was there was like a few chicks and like, first, okay, so this was the in where each Master Tattoo guy judge had their own team and it was like the teams versus times and so the teams were split. But then Kelly went to one of the girls and one of the challenges and was like, fuck these teams, let's just have each other's backs. And the rest of the girls were like fuck yeah. And this drove the men insane.

Yeah, she turned it into a battle of the sexit but not even about she was just like, let's have each other's back.

Yeah, And the men tried.

So hard to fuck them up, but they were so superior in every way that the men kept going crazier and crazier and having meetings being like, we got to get these bitches. We'll get them and they're gonna go crazy, and it's like you're going crazy, and like they would try to give them the hardest assignments and like just screw up their game, and no matter what they threw at these girls, they just were able to keep winning because they were just so good.

And Kelly and Ryan were in the top.

So two out of the three top people were the girls while the guys just.

Got picked off.

And then but then the end was a live finale and it starts with Dave Navarro in hooks through his back swinging and it's like that deserves a warning.

Wait what what.

Like people like suspension stuff, but through his actual skin. Yeah, so like he had hooks in his skin, like throughout his body and he was swinging over the audience.

No, no, I can't talk about this anymore. Yea, that's horrific. This is making me scared, Like I was insane.

Oh, skin stuff is like so scary for me, that's really what.

Okay, So we have a friend that I found out was watching ink Masters, so I told them when the season is the best season. But not only that, there will be a moment where Dave Navarro acts insane and you please text me. And so they texted me, and in the background of the live video, it was their girlfriend shrieking, like, oh.

My god, why.

Liza, If you think you need ink Master to have a warning, I think that's messed up.

Needs a warning just for the listeners.

I'm like, we put a trigger warning on this fucking skin swing.

This is okay, this actually needs a double warning. But I'm obsessed with these porn stars. Are a lesbian married couple. But you're not gonna like this. But she did a knee suspension, like blowbang.

I don't know what that is that what is that? She was suspended through her skin knees? No, no, no, no, Lisa, Okay, we gotta move on. I can't do this anymore. We can't talk about it anymore.

All right, Well, let's move on to your child. Well let's allow my toddler to paltte cleanse this conversation. No.

Actually, I'm in a really great place with Rosie right now. She's obsessed with me and I do nothing. She's talked about you again this morning. I go we're going on vacation. She goes, and Lisa's coming.

To She's obsessed with Lisa right now. And I don't know what to do. But I didn't. I didn't facilitate this.

I think it's because you gave her the Daniel Tiger stuffed animal for her birthday.

Maybe that's it. Because you said that. You put her in a car seat, and she's like, where's Lisa. She got in her car seat.

She was soset and she goes, I want Lisa, And I was like, Lisa's gonna make you wear a car seat too, Well, maybe not, I don't know. She's not washing her hands, no, and her.

Voice is so cute and high, but she's talking so much. Yeah, and I just can't wait for our never stops.

Yeah, we're going to Palm Springs today, a bunch of us with our vaccinated pod, and we're really excited to get going. I mean, by the time this airs, we'll be back.

But we'll tell you, we'll regale you with tails of r It's weird. You guys are a little behind.

But yeah, when you're listening to now, as you're listening to this, I will be eating taco bell.

That's true. So we'll be back from Palm Springs and I will be celebrated.

So as you're listening, just imagine the he's a bunch biting into a crunchy.

If you are celebrating for twenty, tag us yeah or yeah.

Just tag us in your photos of you like hi, watching us vide yes, send us your weed.

And also I really love when you guys tag us in babies, dogs, cats watching the show.

The pets are loving the show. They are big fans. We got to start great. So yeah, so we're gonna hop into today's episode, but it's you'll notice it's a little bit of a chiller episode today. We didn't want to harsh your mellow on four twenty, so it's not quite as uh, it's not quite as get ready to get sad as it usually is.

But I did bring up the hooks, so that might be more Yes setting you did get some trauma.

We provided you with a little bit of trauma. So let's uh.

Oh, I have one more shout out. I just want to say, moving here, I've been so grateful to Karen, all of our friends, and I feel so often in our lives it's like, go find a romantic partner. But you should all invest in great friendships because it was so nice. I'm like, people brought me things, everyone wanted to see my place.

I got picked up from the airport.

It was just like everyone was with you know, a friend gave me a nightstand. It's just been so nice to have great friends.

You've got a good villain. I have a good village. Yeah, thank you for that.

Now, everybody smokeable, and let's watch this episode.

All right, all right?

This is season eight, episode nine, choreographed, and it starts off with like very sensual licking and kissing of a young couple about to have sex in a park. I would say, and but she like the girls like, no, it's my first time. I wanted to be special, not at Central Park. And I did lose my virginity on a grass seafield. So I guess this girl needs to lower her standards.

Central Park after dark is that's not where you want it to happen. Nobody go to Central Park after I thought you were going to say the opposite, Like Central Park is such a cool park where it's like, if we're going to lose your virginity outside, I don't know. I feel I you can't even talk right now. So they're around and then a dog interrupts their sexy time barking.

But the dog is not evil at all. The dog just needs help. So they grab the leash and follow the dog, and the girl says he's really wound up, and the guy goes, I know how he feels, so boner joke immediately, which I love, and the dog leads them aggressively and they see a man in a trench coat limping away, and then sadly there is a blonde woman.

Her shirt is ripped open.

She's on the ground, and the teen kneels down and asks if she was raped, and she nods yes, but she's hyperventilating. She can't breathe, but she indicates that she had been raped. So we're on the scene. Stabler's there, everyone's there, and fun fact that this teen is actually an actress from Orange is The New Black season six. She played one of Carol's girls who reported to Madison that blonde one from Boston.

God, I did not remember her at all from that, but okay.

Yeah, she's just very like beautiful. I just remember her.

Oh, yep, I know exactly what you're talking about. The very beautiful girl. Yes, we're like, girl, don't be in prison. But I auditioned for the Madison part in Oranges mean one, Yeah, I think so, But I can't play a racist because I'm so Jewish looking.

I do. That's the problem.

They could figure it out away away to make you look.

I don't think you have like a very specific Jewish features. I feel like my noses.

But I got a lot of Oranges and New Black Nazi auditions and I was like, I just don't think I can pull this off.

I just don't.

And this girl did a great job. But anyways, we're back Stabler's talking to the teens and then we have CSU Captain Judith ciper Is on the scene and she's one of our listeners aunts so shout out that's.

Yeah, we're definitely hoping to talk to her one day.

She's like very very classic CSU and she's got I.

Mean, so does Melinda.

Like they both are just sassy and I really and yeah that she finds a coffee shop receipt, a coffee cup and a debit card near the body, and from the debit card we find out the name of the victim and it is Danielle Masoner and Melinda is also on the scene, so there's so many scientists and it's confusing because the teen said she was grasping for air, but Melinda sees no signs of strangulation or bruising on her neck and first glance there's no fluids, but there

Credits Doo doo do do do?

Like, can there be enough videos that people send us of people dancing to the theme song?

No, I don't know what we should do a challenge like, uh, we should come up with a dance? Yeah. Yes.

So when we are back from the credits, we're in a wild predictable We're basically zoomed in on a giant photo of a naked woman and a child's pose type vibe and a man with gray hair is talking about the victim who is a model and she's modeled since she was a child, And who is this gray haired man. It is Wesley, her husband, and he has a hoop earring and a mustache, so you know, he's a bad boy who's just aged a little bit. It's a very

What the fuck?

Who on a Saturday night is like, oh, we got to go to radialis we got to check out the new show at radialis This is? They did not have a good marketing department. I'll tell you that much.

That was it? Just okay, sir.

So you know, Stabler is talking about the victim with the husband and calls her Danny, and Wesley gets pissed and goes, no, only I call her Danny, you call her Danielle. So that's like maybe a clue, maybe not, Like, what's what's that about?

I think it's just a reference to Danny Beck. Well, of course, but we don't.

Yeah, basically, this is the first episode without Danny Beck, right, Like Danny's gone, Yeah, so it's obviously Danny. He can't get Danny out of his mind. That kiss stayed in him. So then Bob Saggett walks in as Glenn Shields and Catherine Bell from Jag from Jimmy Shields. Never seen an episode of Jag, but I know that's so funny.

I have never seen a minute of JAG, but I know this woman's face from.

Like JAG commercials. I don't even know what Jack is about.

I think naval. I think it was like top Gun for television or so. But I know that poster so fucking well. It was on the air for a decade. Not seen one episode. Maybe we should JAG podcast coming up next. But Catherine Bell, who is beautiful, and I think people will come for me for this. She's obviously gorgeous, but we learned she's a dancer at the studio. Girl, I've seen black Swan. You're too old to dance? What's going on here? Like, obviously, follow your dreams, do what

Well yeah, I think that that like just realistically, in a modern dance company in New York City, you're not going to be in your mid to late thirties and be a principal like lead dancer, Like that's probably not gonna happen that often.

Yes, this has plagued me for a decade.

I've wanted to like scream this from the rooftops, and thank god I have a platform now because this is shocking.

This is that your notes say, if we're going by black Swan rules, like there are black Swan rules.

That's where I know most dance dance.

And we see this as two people that are too old to be principal dancers in a company. We're not like old shaming anyone, Like I think both of us are too old to be principal dancers in a dance company.

Also untalented. I don't think we could even if we were young. I don't think we'd be getting the dance.

From Excuse me, I danced, did you? Yeah?

I mean I wasn't principal dance company, but I'm a dancer for a long time.

Yeah.

Just I'm tone deaf unfortunately, so that's just not something that I have going for me. So they're the artists, you know, that's the artistic group. We have a model, the dancer, choreographer, and then Bob's like, I'm a computer nerd and that's exactly how he sounds.

So we learned that he's a nerd.

Now we're back at the Emmy's office and Melinda is just like, I don't know what happened to her. There's no coronary issues. The tok screen is clean, the rape kit is clean. The only thing in her stomach was coffee. And they make a joke because she's a model. Of course there's only coffee. They talk about Danny beck leaving and now he's alone, and he's like, no one wants to work with me. Everyone hates me. Benson left, Danny left,

Just spitballing ideas here ill.

So we go to the coffee shop and we're one of the baristas or manager is showing us footage and she always comes alone, but she's really nice to this guy who's dealing with homelessness, and she always she buys him coffee and she's just very kind to him. So we're at the precinct and Maloney is watching the video over and over and over again, one of my favorite things, because he wants to memorize the face of this man so we can go stalk the local encampment and bother

Yeah, this is when she was having August. Yeah, the cutest.

I feel like proud that my birthday is in August because her son's name is August.

Like it gave me a new sense of pride.

So Stabler looks off in the distance for about seven seconds, just thinking about Olivia and how much.

He misses her.

Now, Stabler is in the middle of the night bothering people that are living on the street, like picking up people's hats, flashing lights into their eyes.

This is the craziest police work that I've seen.

But he does finally spot the guy that he memorized from the video, and in his pocket is a photo of Danielle from a magazine and he starts running. There's a night fight and Stabler starts beating the shit out of this man at a very like sexual part of Central Park. I would say, but I think I have different views of Central Park than Kara.

But you see a bridge. I love Central Park during the day, it's gorgeous. But at night do I want to lose my virginity there? I don't think so. Yeah, well, yeah, I'm sure, Lisa. I'm sure the field where you lost your virginity was much safer, wasn't it at college? It wasn't a college. Yeah, that's a campus. It's different.

Yeah, yeah, because we know campuses are STI campuses are safe.

Nobody is weird or doing anything sketchy.

Okay, So basically we find out that this man as Broker's phasia, which is a cognitive disorder caused by a stroke, and he can't speak. So the doctor's like, great, you punched a man who couldn't speak, and they make fun of Stabler. This is just a big roast of Stabler, Like you just beat the shit out of a man living on the street who has a disease who can't speak. We go bro and this man was an attorney who lost his job, lost his insurance, and ended up on

So and the guy, this homeless guy fucking hot.

Okay, he has light eyes, salt and pepper hair, and he looks good.

So I hope he, you know.

Gets to deal with his broker's phasia and learns to speak again. I don't know if that's possible. And then he's trying to communicate with this guy and then in walks Olivia Benson and I've seen this episode a dozen times. I would say I still shrieked, like I was still like surprised.

I don't know.

I was so happy that she walked in and she came to help communicate.

She goes and she's like, did she have hair like mine?

And so she's communicating in her hair now is one of my favorites, like ponytail in the back, swoop bang in the front, some extra pieces, so it's you know, it's like sexual but business. You can run after a perp with Lank in the way.

There's just like immediate sexual tension in the air between her and Stabler immediate, Like I'm not even one of the I mean, I'm definitely one of these people that always kind of was like, will they won't they, can they kiss?

Whatever?

I'm not like a huge like I don't write fanfic about them, but like you cannot deny it.

The minute she walks in. It's like the air is electric.

So I was reading our emails yesterday and someone talked about one of their favorite episodes being from season one Closure and I hadn't seen it in a while, and I was like, oh, I don't even remember this one. So I watched it and fucking Cassidy and Benson are in bed together like kissing, and I totally forgot about that, and I was like, oooh, I don't know, I.

Just it was exciting. They kind of stopped doing that afterwards.

Yeah, and she also had like an amazing hot pink shirt in that episode, but it was yeah, she had to like let him go because he was so into Olivia, but of course and then yeah, whatever, and they both said the sex was great, which is great to know Cassidy and Benson.

How am I acting like I didn't know they used to hook up?

It's like they also had multiple storylines in the future of them hooking.

No, no, no, I knew they used to hook up, but I never I don't remember them actually being snuggling in bed.

Yeah I remember that. Yeah, he's like shirtless.

And then when they pan away, he is in a twin bed and I'm like, uh, they need have gotten a bigger.

Bed, right head bag.

It was like a very tiny bed, I think for queen. So they're playing a lot of dictionary games, grabbing things, hitting stuff, trying to communicate with this guy, and they figure out that there was a guy in an arm sling that met her in the coffee shop. So now we understand maybe this is the limping man from the

I just love how quickly there's a shoving.

But also police brutality, like the man's already injured and can't hurt anybody, Why are you shoving him?

It is crazy.

I've spent my whole life loving Stabler and then with this show, more and more, I'm like.

Oh, he has many issues.

He has issues, for sure, he has a flawed hero for sure.

But how for twenty years have I fully ignored it? And then only now I'm like, wow, okay, this is why his wife wanted to leave him. So they find out this one armed man is uh. They're all friends and basically the guy's husband left him and he lost his house and Danielle helped him out and got him

And Stabler's pissed.

He's like, you left your friend to die or seizure because you had some drugs in your system? What the fuck is wrong with you? And I agree with Stabler here.

I know we just talked about how he has problems, but I don't care.

If I was high on meth, if something happened to my friend, I think I would take.

The meth charge and not leave my seizureing friend.

Right.

I hope it sounds like, from what we learn later about him, that he's kind of like a coke head. And it's like, I don't think that they're really going to take you in right now and like blood test you for fucking coke, you know what I mean, like in the middle of you being It's just this, it's just it's very the show. It's kind of crazy that he would run away like that, but go on.

So we find out then that Wesley threw him down the stairs and that's how he injured his arm because he accused Wesley of cheating on Danielle and the slink I caught Wesley having phone sex and talking about how he's going to be a free man soon, and Wesley threatened to kill this one slinged man if he said a word to Danielle.

And so now we're at Rady allis Yep.

It sounds like a like a radiator company doing.

Yeah, it sounds like a pompous name for a like a dance company.

You know.

And we right away see a super butcher stage manager.

She means business and we will see her again.

And then we see Wesley classic just like yelling at his dancers.

You're shit, you're terrible.

Go back to Baltimore, where nobody cares if you're two counts off or twenty pounds overweight.

But also they're not even doing choreography, Like when we get on them, they're all just like kind of jerking. And I know modern dance is like different than like obviously like whatever you see dancing behind j Lo, but like they're just sort of like all kind of sitting there like jerking their bodies around, and He's like, you're offbeat.

I'm like, isn't that the point?

Like they look insane, like no one is dancing together, no one's doing the same moves, like no.

And I'm also against negative reinforcement. I think positive reinforcement helps people more.

You don't. I don't think you can scream people into success. I just don't.

I just disagree with that type of the whiplash style.

It needs to be like Wanda loving your head jerks, but I'm gonna need you to do it a little.

Bit slower, like everybody, you're selling yourself.

Sure you know you can kill these moves, you know, like that's better than your shit.

You're terrible.

I just I very establishing Wesley's character.

Correct, and he commits the number one mistake. He's not being helpful and finding out what happened.

To your wife.

If your spouse has been murdered, you drop everything and you help the cops with whatever they need, being annoyed that the cops are trying to find out what happened to your dead wife.

What the fuck like?

So he commits the number one sin, and then we get Bernadette Peters tight curls, a feisty attitude, and she's getting her motherfucking client out of here. Okay, she's taking her client home because you don't have any evidence.

She is just so cool.

I wish I knew her more from other things except just the Cinderella.

Oh do you haven't you seen the original Annie?

No?

Oh, she's in the original Annie. I used to.

I saw her in this movie Cadillac Man with Robin Williams. Like. I've just been watching her like forever and she Oh, she's only in this one episode. I thought she was in many. I did too, that's crazy. Well, she's playing Stella dan Quist.

Okay, oh Stella. Oh it's her friend's baby's name. I makes her okay, shout out to Stella.

Okay, So they go to the Cheeles residence to like talk things over, figure shit out, since they can't talk to Wesley because Bernadette Peters is a great defense attorney.

You're a wonder woman. Things are fine.

So the stage manager, who's so But she has named Geneva, which I'm obsessed with. I've never heard the name Geneva in my life. She has a ponytail in the middle of her head, which is a classic lesbian ponytail style, and she pulls off gray hair very very well, and she's spilling the beans. She explains he's cheating all the time. He's fucking in the rafters. And this is another fantasy of mine. I would like to have sex, like in a theater where.

The lights are oh so scary, Liza, you're such a risk taker. Well because they have rafters because I did learn lighting in high school, and there's space, and I would like to climb up in there. So anyways you'd like to shine your own light, go on.

I'm trying to make a joke about lighting. Go on.

So Geneva lets us know that from eight to nine thirty, there's a dinner break and at the night of the death, and now we're back at the medical examiner's office and Melinda has a cube bun with a headband and she finds out that Danielle was poisoned with a lethal dose of a chemical called di aldrim. What happens is you rub this into someone's skin and it makes someone seizure, and the poisoning could not have happened more than thirty

This is huge, So this is like a love Square almost.

Yeah, And we find out that Wes only used the name Jen to talk to Glenn aka Bob Saget because he got off on telling Bob about it. So Wesley is a sick fuck all right, that's all we have to know about it. And Naomi says there's no way he committed the murder because I was in the office with him when it happened.

So they're fucking at Rady Ellis.

While Danielle is being murdered, so it's a good alibi, but a secret.

And then finally we get some Casey action.

Hello, thank you, Casey Novak walks on in and Bernadette Peters is there and she says darling, and I'd like that to be my phone ring tone. It's I love the way she says darling, but my phone's usually on silent.

If you don't know who Bernadette Peters is.

By the way, she's a like literally I know people told us to stop saying iconic, but she is a Broadway icon. She is literally took over Hello Dolly after but Midler like has been Broadway Broadway, Broadway forever. She's got these tight curls and a high voice, and she's just like drag queens have done her own drag race.

Like she is. She is the moment. She's also a gay icon.

Oh.

I think that's how I know her is through chats with my pals. Shout out to Brandon, he is her number one fan.

I love how anybody that's like a Broadway diva would not be a gay icon like that.

They're hand in hand, are the same thing? Oh yeah, that's true. It's like a Dina Manzel also a gay icon, oh a Dina. Okay.

So Bernadette Peters is accusing the detectives of placing the poison in the apartment, and then she also then says, well, maybe it's the old tenets poison. They've only lived in this apartment for eight months, and Stabler says, do the juries believe these fairy tales you make up?

And she goes, I'm tinker Bell. So that's amazing. I love that.

It's an insane thing to think that somebody left an extremely rare and hard to get poison in an apartment that just so happened to be what killed your wife.

Like, that's a crazy theory, it is.

But then she has an incredible point where she says, were my client's fingerprints on the bottle?

Right? And they weren't, and that all.

Of a sudden you're like, Okay, Bernadette, that's why you get the big bucks.

Well, it being printed is a completely valid, valid theory. It being left over from the previous tenants and you not noticing it for eight months is insane.

Yeah, that is correct.

So suddenly we're at Homeland Security, which is insane. The Homeland Security guy explains that you can buy this poison illegally, and it's been illegal in the state since nineteen eighty seven, the year I was born, and the Homeland Security guys getting rock hard for Benson. He can He's just floored by the beauty.

You're not the only one enjoying that sexy business ponytail.

He is into it.

Wesley's name shows up from buying this poison from Japan. Holy shit, And then he tries to ask her out and she shoots him down immediately and says, why don't you save your energy for fighting terrorists?

What a serve.

So then Stabler gets a call his son got suspended from school from fighting. Rage runs in the family. Why did they even add this suspension? It has nothing to do with anything, Yeah.

It doesn't.

I think they Maybe they're trying to establish a longer pattern of problems with Dicky because it comes into play like in later episodes. But I don't know, that's my only guess.

Yeah, So they're with Wesley, and Wesley goes, someone forged my signature and stole my credit card, which seems far fetched, you know, like, bro, you've committed the scribe. So then Casey, Stabler and Benson are walking in a hallway and this is maybe inappropriate, but Casey's cleavage is on fire here, and I do feel like a perverb.

But I've never noticed.

Her cleavage like this before, Like they really made a point to I didn't notice it either.

Rewatch the walking.

Okay, it's like pretty wild to me. So Bob Saggot runs into the precinct saying, oh my god, I've been so paranoid. My wife didn't come home last night. Did something happen to her? And they go, she's here and he says.

Why would she be here?

And they play, right, you know, they play some games and they go, you need to talk to your wife. So they put Naomi and Bob Saggett into a room and they watched the whole thing, like the great detectives that they are. They're spying on the couple talking. Naomi explains she was feeling smothered. She's like, you didn't love me. You wanted to control me. He goes, I always didn't get why you picked me, since you know, you had all these artists and I'm a dork, and she goes,

He was like, so you turn to Wes, your own boss, like I don't want to eat you.

Know, yeah, like you're disgusting. Why are you so hack with your cheating? So the detectives come in and she is a sucker. She said he was gonna let her dance in two.

Leads again, You're like forty.

Yeah, we're gonna get called aegis And I understand, but I do believe in the dance world that agism is a real thing.

Even in sports.

Yeah, when your body is the point, it's just like it is what it is. There's very few athletes that can perform in multiple Olympics forever and stuff. Maybe shooting, shooting or archery, but like once, even basketball players, football players, it's not even a sexist thing.

It's truly your your bones are old. What do you want to be able to do? We gotta we gotta move on.

But I did see a video on the internet of a ninety one year old German woman doing gymnastics at a festival. So we'll post that video upart because she was incredible. I take back everything. She was killing it on the on the bars. Okay, So then I don't know where Naomi starts not to be able to breathe, and she collapses, So of course you're like, did she have what Danielle had? What the fuck is going on? If you're playing a drinking game, this is the episode

Like so much has changed since they took like a few months apart from each other that they're just like learning they're reconnecting.

Yeah, Naomi has a genetic condition that fucks with her liver, and her liver is slowly deteriorating. Also, she had an unsterile injection of an RFID chip and there's an infection in her shoulder, and Naomi has no idea who put it in her?

And guess what, the detectives have a fucking idea.

So we learn that Glenn has been tracking her, so he knows about the affair, and it's not a surprise at all. He is an actor like most killers are. They're very incredible actors. He is a tech guy, so he knows how to get poison off the Internet and do all these fancy, fancy games. So they're in the interrogation and I don't know, Bob Saget might be the

He also he also can I just say it makes a point of saying, in fifteen years, everyone's gonna have this technology.

Yeah, and then tech Ruben Moraless figures all this out for us. So basically, there's a reader at the Shields home door that we saw earlier, and then Bob Saget put one at the dance studio and at Wes and Danielle's apartment, and then he implanted the chip into Naomi's arm and that would let him know when she arrived and left any of those checkpoints.

That's so fucked up. He was spying on her.

This whole thing, and all the data was uploaded onto this handheld tech palm piloting. Then Munch, of course comes in with some spyware, chats big brother.

What's going on?

Okay, but he doesn't know yet that his wife's in the hospital and hurt because of this chip. But when he does find out, they take him on a field trip and now he feels so sick, guilty and sad.

He breaks down. He says, I'll tell you everything, just please let me see her. And his lower lip is whimpering. He is really acting it up.

His lower lip is quivering. I think, right, what did I say? He said whimpering? He's whimpering. I don't know if a lip can whimper, But you know, I don't know.

It's just crazy that I've had a job as a comedian for so long and truly don't know words.

Or you do know words? You know words really well?

You just I think, thanks, momm Sometimes my brain is too fast.

I your misnomers are my favorite thing. I just get too excited.

Your brain does go too fast. I think that's what it is. You're too quick of a thinker.

We do have to show.

We did get one negative review for the pod where people said, you're a little too excited about this, and it's like, well, we are.

We love doing this, We're obsessed with this show.

Sorry, we're too excited that our dreams came true. So the chip has been in Naomi's shoulder for three weeks. He drugged her tea before bad. He didn't mean to hurt her, He just wanted to control inspire her. That's not love, everybody, control is not love. Get out of these controlling relationships.

Holy shit. She is like dying in front of him. Code blue, Code blue. She goes into shock.

Benson is like, you need to confess or you're about to be charged with murders and there's nothing we can do to help you.

That's a classic cop.

Lie and Bob Saget says, Wesley took the love of my life, so I took his and I killed Danielle. I followed her, I pretended to bump into her on accident and put the poison on her. Wesley arrives at the hospital and Bob and him get into a scuffle, and the scuffle looks hysterical. Yeah, and they're also not sad, like your wife has been murdered. How are you this jolly and smug and walking around? I just I don't understand.

Well, Wesley's a full piece of shit. We realize that. Yeah, so he yeah, he's being mean to the detectives.

He goes, thanks for bagging the right guy and screw you and this and that, and then he tells Bob Sagge like, oh, you're gonna try to kill Naomi. They're having this crazy fight. Punches and gas equipment go flying in the air, and then he turns full nerd Bob and is breathing so heavy and scared on the ground. We're back at the precinct and Casey Novak is pissed as hell. She's like, you took the suspect on a field trip. The confession might be thrown out. What are

We have Casey at our best.

So then Benson goes, are you done with this character assassination? And Casey says, are you done flushing my case down the toilet? I mean, this is so heated and amazing, and this gets so tricky. I mean it's like the episode's about to end. How do we get another fucking screwdriver in this? But her liver is failing in the hospital and the only match is Bob Saggett, who is

But that's like so insane because how could they have ever known that she was gonna need a liver transplanted and he was a match. It's like, you shouldn't have arrested him, like he confessed to a full murder.

No, case he's a bitch, I mean, yeah, she's a bitch, but Benson does look guilty. It works, and they're at this commissioner's office and he's like, no way, you're crazy, And I don't know if we have a lot of King of the Hill fans here. But he looks and sounds exactly like Cottonhaill, Hank's dad from the show, like vibe everything. This is the most perfect character ever. I'm obsessed with him. And he's been in thirty episodes of The Wire. You might recognize him. His name is Al Brown.

It sets a dangerous precedent that now killers are going to constantly be like, oh, I'm gonna give it, I'm gonna give a lung, I'm gonna give a kidney.

I'm gonna get you know whatever. And they, you know, are allowed to go out and possibly function up.

Yeah, but they allow it. The surgery happens. We're really happy about this. I feel like I want Naomi to live a good life. She does not deserve this, even though she's a cheater. Then Benson goes visits her. There's flowers and Benson says, oh are those from Wes. Wes has not even called her. Those flowers are from her mother. She asks the detectives to tell Glenn thank you, But I am so mad that Wes didn't even see how she's doing.

That is I mean, I think we could tell by his reaction to his wife's death, which was like a barely a tear, that he was like not going to really care about his mistress's recovery from liver surgery.

What a bad guys, goes under.

Then, Benson and Stabler are having a cute little moment at the elevators and they figure out that they're both a positive blood types. And in the elevator, Stabler says, I'd give you a kidney, and Benson goes, not if I give you mine first.

That's cute, great ending.

It's literally such a moment. I think that's like in the top ten moments with them. Yeah, thank you, Dick Wolf. That was a nice, a nice little ending.

Hell you love that.

And like you're kind of like left at the end being like, Okay, they're back on. They're chemistry's back on, They're fully now committed to donating organs to each other. We're back, you know, Yeah, But I'm glad that they let there be a little bit of awkwardness because it is weird, like they have these weird complex feelings towards each other and stuff, and he's away from his wife now, but then he kind of fell in love with her

You made you made a funny noise with your hand and fist there. I made it sound like they're banging you guys.

Tell me if I'm crazy, But I do have a theory and I just want to hear your thoughts in it that I got as you were talking.

There's a lot of arm stuff in this.

They put the poison on the girl's arm, the guy's arm is in a sling. They put the chip in the arm, and radialice is a muscle of the human forearm that acts to flex and radially abduct the hand.

And I was like, maybe this is no gays. Do you think the writer's room was even thinking about that? Yep? Absolutely? And what season is this? We're gonna fucking find we gotta learn about if they had an arm theme.

This seems like the kind of question we're gonna ask Neil bhar and he's gonna.

Get, what the fuck are you talking about?

I think this is totally This is totally SVU playing.

Every single thing, had every scene had an arm in it.

Yeah, I think this theory is one hundred percent correct.

Interesting, we'll have to find out.

Well, we will be right back to talk about some of the real life details, and we are back. So this episode is a little bit different because this is not I wish that somebody had almost killed their cheating wife by implanting an RFID chip in them, but unfortunately that has not happened in real life. But this does have some real life inspirations that I wanted to talk about because I just think it's a very interesting topic and it's not even though it's not necessarily super crimey,

Multiple, I think he has two.

For a technologist, I have to tell you that he has a very bad website. I'm all, if you're listening, you really need to get squarespace or something because it is really bad.

It's just a mall dot net. But he is huge in the He is literally Bob Saggat's character. He is the guy that's like, in fifteen years, we're all going to be doing this. I think it's really interesting.

And the reason I sort of pointed out that Bob Sagget's character says that in fifteen years, we're all going to be using these is because that episode is from exactly sixteen years fifteen years ago, and we.

Are not using RFID chips like it.

Is not commonplace, but they are being used. So I wanted to talk a little bit about how they are being used. So now, I think initially people misunderstand what RFID chips are versus like a GPS tracker. These are not trackers where you could just like log onto your phone and see where somebody is.

That's GPS. That's totally different.

RFID chips are like how you explained, they can they only can be activated when they are near a reader of some kind. So, like you explained, Bob Saggett put one at his wife's house and at her dance studio and at her lover's house. Like they can only read things when they're near their readers. That's the only time the chip like activates. But they don't need to be charged.

A medical ID bracelet.

Yeah, exactly, like MI like, honestly, it's like chipping a dog. Like if you chip your dog, I don't believe you can just like go on an app and be like my dog's in Central Park losing its virginity, like you basically you can.

You can, you can.

Maybe it's not an RFID chip, maybe it's a different chip. But my parents' neighbor, who's amazing, he has cats that go around town and sometimes like if they don't come back at night, he'll go on his app on his phone and be like, oh, you know, he's over there.

Maybe that's been approved for dogs and cats. But like that's not what these ships do. That's not what these RFID chips do. They're really just and this cat's really funny. He harasses the whole neighborhood, like he will jump into cars and then when you open your car door, he's just waiting.

For you your car. He's really funny.

So I wanted to also mention that there is another episode of SVU from I believe two thousand and nine or twenty ten called Locum starring Queen Joan Cusack, where they do an RFID chip in their daughter as well, that is, you know, has all her medical information and her name and everything on it as well. But I'm a little confused about the technology because they act like that's to keep track on where she is, but then in the episode, she gets lost and they can't find her.

So these RFID chips became.

Approved for implantation in humans in two thousand and four, okay, and in two thousand and five, Amal and his girlfriend Jennifer Tomlin they get they got some notoriety and they were kind of written up in a few articles because they were both implanted with RFID chips, like as a couple, and it kind of gives them information about each other

But why why, Well here's why.

Let me just let me just explain a little bit more So, unlike the episode, these chips almost always go into the hand almost everybody that has these chips, they're like, from what I've read, like ninety nine percent of the time they're in the people's hands. So the shoulder is maybe part of our theory about what radio hellas means and everything. But they use them to open the door to their house to log onto their computer. It's easier

Wait, the QAnon people have been chipped, Oh, because of vaccine.

The QAnon people think, the qan On people think that the COVID vaccine is a ruse being used to microchip all of us so that we can be tracked, and that Bill Gates is behind all of it. It's been obviously completely debunked. Our sources have many articles about it's debunking.

No, My favorite.

Response to that that I've seen on the internet is people like, if you use cell phones, we know where you are at all times. Yeah, like your credit card information, your calendar, your steps, your maps, your miles. I mean, for some reason, one of my old salons that I used to frequent popped into my brain yesterday and I was like, oh, I wonder how they're all doing. And I typed it in and Google said you were here seven years ago. Yeah, like Google remembered I was at

Ringing the New Year with your alter ego of Ted Cruz. That's terrible.

So Amal and Jennifer, which, by the way, this is all this Their coverage of this was from two thousand and six. I cannot find anything. A mall is still very much in the chip game. I cannot find anything about Jennifer anymore. And I can't tell if they're together anymore. So who knows if they've taken each other off each other's chip lists. But they were a very happily chipped couple in two thousand and six. And yeah, they talked to like ABC News about how the procedure doesn't hurt,

Again, I ask then why because what they're taking about me.

They're talking about how like they just don't like carrying anything, They don't want to carry keys, they don't want to care, Like, let me get into it, because in Sweden they're doing this and people are using it for different things. So first of all, the chips are very inexpensive apparently and can be ordered online starting at thirty dollars, which is

Yes, that seems fair, That seems fair. To put things under your skin is fair.

So a Nevada lawmaker recently introduced legislation that would ban RFID chips in human bodies and on the Senate floor State Senator Becky Harris said she had ethical concern there's no cryptology.

I'm sorry, Nevada, Las Vegas. Everything's fucking leading.

Yeah, this is where you're going to draw the places of all places.

It's really funny.

Well, I think it's because they might not understand the technology. Like they're saying that there's no protection measures in place, and like, and it's possible to hack the information that's in the chip, so not necessarily find somebody, but to hack their information, like get their social security or maybe like medical information that they have on their chip. If you get your chip close enough to a reader that can hack it, Like who knows that is? Those are possibilities.

The Swedish program. Yeah.

By twenty eighteen, four thousand people had chipped themselves in Sweden. Their largest train company has actually allowed commuters to use chips instead of tickets. So now no metro card, no bullshit with your wallet, just put your hand on a over a reader and you're on the train. I'm just saying I can see this being something in the future that people would do. I think it's it's the implantation that bothers people, but we can talk about it more.

Yeah, why can't I have a bracelet? Yeah? I guess you could lose it.

Someone could steal it, Like there's all these things, you know, like this would be like you're this would truly be like it's only you that could do it, you know, because think about it, We're already at clear scanning eyeballs. Like people are already doing biometric stuff. This is just an implantation that's taking it, I guess a little step further.

A burger, and you just like wave your hand in front of a reader.

When I was in the UK a couple of years ago, there was ahead of the US in those terms, and so everyone was scanning and I did not have the tap yet on my card, and every bartender and restaurant was so livid with me. They were just like American and they had to like slipe it because everyone was just tapping and my car just wasn't a tap yet.

I tried to tap the other day at a liquor store and it didn't even work, so that shit's not even always working the right way. But basically, this guy Grofstra, who is like the chip guy. He he runs a company called Dangerous Things and this other company that's trying to sell people, you know, the chips. He says, a well designed implant is frictionless, managementless, and becomes.

A part of who you are.

The only problem people have is a skin barrier, and somehow that's blasphemous. So that's like an interesting that's like his thing. It's I think it's sort of interesting to consider. And some people wonder, is this the new Google glass? Is this the kind of thing that people think people want but they really don't. And I mean, Google Glass was my favorite punchline of the time, so I do love to make fun of Google glass.

I just like this guy who's like, oh, and people are just scared of having things inside of their body.

It's like it is kind of shock people they.

Are going and getting fucking breast implants and caf implants. This is the size of a piece of rice, and it would make it so but if you went to the hospital, people would immediately know your blood type, they'd immediately know your medical problems or issues. You know, like I don't know. I'm literally playing Devil's advocate. I'm not saying I would get one. I'm just you convinced hip Tomorrow, Lisa and I are off to Sweden.

It's like an iud though, oh yeah, yeah, I think.

Of all the things we have floating around in our bodies at all times. I mean, I'll just say this. In Indiana in February, so I think that there was some legislation going on with this right before coronavirus hit in February of twenty twenty. That maybe has been slowed down now. Indiana is attempting to pass a bill that would ban businesses from mandating it the way like, you know, they can't say, hey, we microchip people here, and if you say I don't want to do that, you can't

So that's all my information about all this microchipping.

I think it's really it's an interesting ethical conversation.

It's an interesting technology conversation.

Did you have the articles about the animals dying from the chipping or no?

No, because it's just like a different process, it's a different thing, got it.

One thing to add those is there were articles about saying we could use these for patients too have Alzheimer's and dementia, so if anyone gets lost, you can help them find their way home or where they live.

That's a good point too.

I mean to me, it's it's the problem with it lies in a lot of the misinformation about the fact that it is not trackable by GPS, like this kind of specific thing.

I think what it is is that it has to be.

A bigger chip, and that people wouldn't feel comfortable having that in their bodies.

Maybe they feel comfortable.

Putting that in their pets, but the one that's an RFIDA is the size of a piece of rice, and that's the one that like, it does not track your movements, it just carries information.

And like in the episode, it's not the chip that made Naomi sick, it was the dirty needle that you use because he.

Just didn't sterilize the needle.

But this guy became vocal and had his ship inserted like months before this episode came out, So it's very clear that this is like who they based it on, and they just had to obviously make it sexy and give it a crime and everything. So people talking about how this would open the door to more invasive implantable technology, Like I think people are already doing a lot of wearable tech, and now like implantable tech is like a whole new frontier, and.

I mean technically.

They talk about how this could put an end to human trafficking if every single person got this put into them. Let's say at birth, you could never sell a child overseas. If they could be microchipped or they could be you know, identified at any times with their real identity and who their parents are, we wouldn't have the problem with the border we have with these kids not being.

Able to find their parents.

Wow, which is a problem we cause, but you know, our government.

But it's just interesting.

But then it's you know, then it's also kind of like, yeah, there are other issues like hacking it and people misusing it, and there's always a way that people abuse technology and stuff.

So that could also work against you.

Of if someone was if a country it was not staple and there was a form of slavery, right, then you could track at someone the opposite, right exactly.

I think what we're learning is that humans are the worst part of anything. Yeah, technology or inventions. I was going to make a joke that the true leaders of implanting things into your body are the ones that turn themselves into lizards and stuff.

Oh yeah, body modification.

Yeah, which there is an Sview episode about which I'm sure we'll cover at some point.

Oh, I can't wait to fall Yeah, Steve Brady baby.

Yeah.

And then you know, a big reason that we wanted to cover this episode is because of our guest that was I mean, the episode's great, are great, but I think, yeah, I think we all know what we really wanted out of this episode.

And we are going to talk to our guest, right, now, okay, guys, it's time for our interview, and we are not going to disappoint you yet again. We have one of the funniest stand up comedians, the host of America's Funniest home videos, the host of a podcast, Bob Saget's Here for You, Danny Tanner himself from Full House.

Guys. Check out our interview with Bob Sagat. Were you a fan of the show or did they? Okay you are.

I've known my Risco a really long time, so I know her through Jonathan Silverman, but way before she got the show. Wow, we went to a concert once together. We went and saw the Wallflowers.

Oh okay, yeah, one Headlight.

I've always thought really well of her. And when I did the show, she was there with her husband and he was holding their baby in the frontal pouch. I never had one of those when I had kids.

Oh the little baby Bejorn.

Yeah, I didn't have a Bjorn, but I just tell my kid. But it's a smart move.

And did you want to be a criminal?

Yeah, I've always been cast against type, you know, against when you do a series, people think that's who you are, you know, and that's good, you know, it's a nice thing to entertain one group of an audience. But then I was always punching out of the box with my stand up. I was always edgy and strange and not in a mean way, but sometimes little fake gruff. But then when I would get cast and stuff, or even on a show like Entourage, I would do a version

But it was really funny.

It was It was fun I did it a bunch and it was a different time, but doing the one that I did in New York, and it was the whole original cast, and I went out with Chris for lunch, and you know, everything was kind of it was before he left the show, obviously, and things were kind of nice. I didn't get to be with Richard Belzer, who I'd known for a long time. But the funniest part was I was in ICE's room. That was my dressing room, was his dressing room, so his wife's pictures.

Everywhere, Coco and it was Coco was everywhere.

It was so gracious of him to let me be in there and I didn't touch anything.

I was so scared.

And he's got awards and this beautiful stuff in there and pictures of her everywhere. So I was just studying my lines. It was it was a lot of fun to play. When I read that it was very well written, you know, and it was one that they went, oh, well, no, we're stunting this one. And it had Chris Sarandon and Bernadette Peters and my wife was Catherine Bell. So I mean it was really a hilarious kind of story. I mean,

Yeah, I had a little fight, giant fight. There was like dos and tools everywhere.

Yeah, it was really quite fun.

Did you have body doubles?

No, you just fall out a frame. If I recall you do the punch, you know, you do it past the nose and just do one of those not like that that would be that would be on zoom. But yeah, I fell on a matt. He fell on a mat. I don't know. We didn't have doubles. We were in the hallway there at the hospital. I really loved the scene with Catherine A lot that was like very sweet, you know, stupid apology for putting it. I don't want to I can spoil.

It because your character is like your character like does fully murder someone, but then he accidentally puts his wife in danger and like feels bad about it.

So it's you.

You're a very complete You're a multi layered character in this.

I actually like that because a lot of the you know, when i'd watched the show, sometimes the key to the show. One of the coolest things about it are the quick cuts that you're getting kind of bullet points of the story. You don't need to hear a five minute dialogue scene at this moment, we're just going to go did you

I mean, is it weirder?

How does it feel that like so many people have fully grown.

Up on you and then we've got to meet you and stuff.

But my family we came from Russia, so we didn't speak English, so America's Funniest Home Videos was like the best foreign entertainment that you can get. And Full House I watched every single day, like, how do you.

You're from Russia?

Yeah, Russia, Ukraine.

I was in Ukraine. I shot a show for A and E there and I helped guys get mail order brides. This show in the show is where I'm from.

That's why.

But it wasn't as it was a reality show. It was it was it was a comedy documentary show.

We did Oh my god, I want to watch.

That, but no, but it's not. That's not viewable. The series was called Strange Days and we aired six of them. The first one ended up me being in a motorcycle club which I joined, which was very scary and interesting and everyone was a different subculture. I went to Vegas with Jeff Ross, I went to camp with fourteen year old kids. I just did all different kinds of stuff. It was really quite wonderful.

And then now my niece nephews are watching old episode like it's just like so many generations know who you are.

The Full House is never going away ever. Yeah, yeah, it's so funny. I talk to people and they'll say I'll be working on a couple of projects and an agent or the head of a network or studio will say to me, would you please get off my television. I can't take it anymore. My kids are now, my kids are nine and eleven. I can't stand it because that's the show for them. That's right.

Speaking of Full House, though, have you seen John Stamos's episode of SVU that he did?

Of course, of course I've seen it. There's nothing. There's nothing John Stamos has done that I had not seen. Every time he's been on Broadway, I have been there several times. Every time I've been on Broadway, he's been there six seven times.

He is He was that Bonnaroo when you were there, Like he.

Was pissed because I worked my ass off in that tent and I'm dripping sweat and he comes out at the end and gets a standing ovation and I'm like, I just worked so hard and all he did was pose No.

The effect he has on people is why like you, I think you or Jeff brought him to the seller one time and it didn't matter what age, men, women, gay, straight, Like everyone just fell apart.

I'd never seen anything like it.

And he's got a new series that's going to be on Disney Plus and David E. Kelly is the executive producer, and he is I'm trying to remember he's in school and he's a teacher. It looks really really good, and he's just you know, he's my brother. I mean, I just he's amazing. He's such a good person. I just did a benefit as I do every year, and we did a virtual benefit for the sclurdrim Or Research Foundation because I lost his sister to it. I've been working

A lot of comedy people of your generation have done SVU, A lot of your pals, I feel like, outside John, any episodes that you remember, did you guys ever chat about your SVU times?

No, it's weird.

We don't. We don't. But I think the key to the show is they know that a lot of comedians are good actors. You know, yeah, a lot of them.

Well, I mean, I think what's also interesting is that you these you have people like, you know, people think of you as one way, like you're this like sort of dad, funny dad figure on this show, and then you come on and you're a bad guy. And same with John Seamos, He's uncle Jesse comes on and he's like this bad guy. Or Martin Short was like a

It's actually a thin line, as you know it really it really is. I mean, a person that goes up and does stand up properly as a very dark.

Side oh, yes, we're all psychopaths.

Who do you think was more fucked up? Your character John Stamos's character, Well.

He had to get people pregnant, right, that was you? Yeah, so I almost wish I would have had that part. I mean, either.

Way, this episode is coming out on four to twenty, so we wanted.

To see if you would be a magical day a magical day.

We wanted to see if you would be down with answering a couple of weed related questions.

Of course, there's actually a lot of weed named after me, and I don't like it. I get no money from it. I am not a sponsor. There is Bob Saget's Sativa. If you just google marijuana and my name, it's it's not good.

You guys got to give Bob his money.

Come on, I don't want the money.

When did you become a famous pothead? Because Entourage?

While I was in Half Baked, while I was directing Dirty Worker, I was in Dave Chappelle's Half Baked and I said that I, you know, did what I did for Coke. I don't know if you remember, but it was. Yes, there's a lot of this. Look up the meme. It'll explain it. Yes, but that that traveled so yeah, and Rodney Dangerfield, who was a friend, actually have his pot pipe in the other room. But I'm not a smoker. I wasn't in my early twenties. I went to a couple of years of it, but then I wanted to

Twenty If you're not smoking?

Well, if you're not smoking, we were just going to kind of ask you, like, you know, what's your favorite way to smoke?

And what's your favorite.

Con those answers ahead, ask away, ask away, have all the answers, Well.

Let's do like, what's your favorite meal when you're fucked up? Like, what do you.

Call that's usually it's the after meal would be the hamburger. You know. But edibles are a problem because I had a problem once where I have done edibles in the past ten years, and one time I went to this bakery shop in Santa Monica that had amazing edibles, really good food. And I was dating somebody a long time ago, and I was really hungry, and you don't eat an edible and be really hungry.

And I made that mistake before as well.

I ate half a chocolate cake and I couldn't move. I was in body prison. And then when I started to get my censes back, said let's keep our robes on and go to the Beverly Hills Hotel. That was my inspired idea. But yeah, that's why I don't like that inspiration anymore.

Wait, Bob, we wanted to ask you about the masked singer. We wanted to know about that experience.

Was that fun? And you were the Squiggly Monster? Did you choose to be the squiggly Monster?

Yes?

Did they give you that?

I had a choice. I never told anybody this. I had a choice between being I don't know if I'm allowed to say this. I had a choice between another character that someone else played. I don't want to say it because that person might get mad. But I chose squiggily because that's actually him right there, I see. Yeah, And because the eyes looked like boobs and they were everywhere, and I thought the eyes were going to roll around, but they said no, they're fixed. But the head was

Show, Oh yeah, yeah.

I did a couple of right fun show COVID Craziness Precautions, and Ken was saying, you should do mass singer come on as a judge or something. I went, no, I don't think so, Ken, I'm really busy. And he's texting me this and he doesn't know that I am on it there.

Squiggly Monster exactly.

And then the freaky part is I'm in a lineup with these with mushroom, jellyfish, broccoli. I looked at my lip. I swear to god, it was like I thought I was on acid. I didn't know what it was the most stone moment of my life. I just could barely churn my head. And I see these creatures in the Star Wars bar next to me, a Star Wars bar mixed with Disneyland parade, and I don't know. I didn't like it, and I was looking they were looking at me, I was looking at them. We were trying to figure

Okay, that was amazing.

We are both huge Bob Saggat fans, and though we've met him before, this was more too on one time with him than we've had.

What's wild about someone like him is he's been in all of our lives for decades, so even he means more to us than.

We do to him.

Of course, like every moment I've ever seen him, it's blazed in my brain, and he's like, I'm probably accosted eight hundred times a day by everyone that thinks I'm their daddy.

Yeah everybody. Yeah, that's so true. Everyone's obsessed.

I mean, that's what's so cool about you know, TV and movies. You you grow up with it SVU forever. Yeah, but I didn't add that. I forgot to talk about this in the intro. So uh not, what is it? Non suckuorder, not non sequitter. When it's like not kosh, not the rag. We're gonna do a little twist on the postmon orthodox.

As a Jew, I can't believe you didn't know that. I shoul just watch that show. But Maloney's ass is now mainstream.

Yeah, if you, I mean, if you're listening to this, chances are you sent us his butt. We've received many, many messages from you guys. That's not a read.

We love it.

Keep sending his butt, but it's multiple angles. It's like memes. It's different. It's artistic renderings. I mean, because it's non SVU.

People, every gay man in my phone I've gotten a text about for sure.

I mean and now yeah, it's like on BuzzFeed and it's like all it's crazy.

It's he's a tipping point. Yeah, a few is obviously mainstream. It's been on NBC for twenty one season. Sure, it's like uh fever, it's ass fever. I mean, it's Maloney ass fever.

And he's like totally being such a good support about it. Like people are tweeting him like where'd you get all that cake? And he's like, well, I'm a big boy, I'm sixty or like, he's just like he's just being really cute and then like shares tweeting about it. I mean, I think when cher is doing one of her all caps questionable grammar tweets about your butt and you're acting. Actually she was just commenting on his acting. But I think we know what the subtext was.

Yeah, I mean share, that's cool, that's cool.

Yeah, well, anyway, that was just a side note to let you guys know that we are fully aware of Maloney butt gate and it's all it's all happening.

Yeah, what did I learn from this episode?

Like, before you date a guy, get him mentally checked out, Like you know that boyfriend, the best friend boyfriend, gray haired man was just like didn't.

Care about any Oh well, he didn't care.

His wife was dead. He didn't think Cara's girlfriend was having surgery. But both of these women were in committed, loving relationships with him.

It's like everyone's a psychopath. I don't know how anyone dates ever.

It's so scary you could be with someone that's not even gonna shed a tear when you're dead and is using you for money to keep your dance studio along.

Yeah, like it's just twisted.

Can't even throw a couple of tulips your way when you've had a life saving liver surgery.

It's a little nuts.

If I meet someone that i'm into, I'm getting I'm hiring a full Lexus Nexus background check. Yeah, that's a great idea, But the guy didn't have a criminal pass.

He's just an asshole.

I don't know what you would find in a background check. Other girlfriends that are like, yeah he sucks.

Now, I mean private, I follow him following and give you like a full maybe. Well, it's kind of like the Seinfeld Jujubi's is that what not Jujubi's jujifruits?

Jujub is a grown woman. No, jujub is the candy.

I think they were calling them jujifruits in the show Jujubis are a candy.

No, I think jujubi is a drag queen and juju fur is the king.

No jujub is a can. Hannah's looking at up. Jujub is a candy.

I think maybe they couldn't say it on Dimefeld and they were calling a juji No, they were calling a Jujubi's.

You're right, we got to just back up off this whole. They're like a sour Patch kid.

Without the sour elements, hard or not.

And Ike, they're just a hard gummy. They're disgusting and I'm a gummy fanatic and they're the worst in their gummies good. I'd rather have Dots or Mike and Ikes than a juju be. I didn't realize that, but it's kind of like that, like, maybe set up a prank for your future lover that you want to get serious with, where someone tells them something terrible happened, and then they see how they respond, and then they're on hidden cameras and then that's how you know if you can be

But I think what we've learned also is that Lee's is willing to be micro chipped, and I'm microchipping everybody in my life.

Yeah, and what else?

I think there's also some early in the episode lessons like, uh, don't lose your virginity in Central Park after dark. I don't think that that's going to be as picturesque as they're making it seem.

That whole guy was annoying.

He was like pressuring her, making jokes after wul they find a body.

I mean, I just like, I don't even know.

Just saying the chances of you finding a body in the middle of the act are higher in Central Park, so I would just steer clear. Find a field at Lisa's college, the Lisa Rhagger Virginity Lost Memorial Field.

I believe that that is what they call it at your old school.

Yeah, I mean I have a lot of I have a lot of opinions. I definitely wrote a college senior paper on the concept of virginity. I would and as it's only education, would absolutely love to read it. So I just have a lot of opinions about all of this, and that does don't matter. Also, Bob Saget, what was his name in it? Garrett Glenn gous to Glenn, don't

Yeah, because that woman was talking. Yeah, yeah, Genevieve. No, what was that, Yeah, Genevieve, Yeah, No, it was Geneva. Geneva because once you said that, I was like, I kind of do like that name. And I was like, I'm thinking about baby names, you know, but I'm not going to name the baby Geneva after a stage manager from Lawn Order SVU, but that would be.

What about the name Danny because apparently it sticks with you Danny.

Oh yeah, it loves a Danny, Danny and Danny.

And then Danny Tanner is Bob Saget's name, and he's probably most called by other people a lot of Danny's also.

I think in this episode we learned Benson's everything, Like Maloney without Benson is nothing. Yeah, like he couldn't talk to that man until Benson showed up with her soft speak. So like, I think, I actually this happened to me in a professional setting where I was working with a duo and then one of the duo people disappeared and I was like, oh, I don't think I ever liked you. I think this is where it was all that the whole time.

But yeah, I think we need to learn if SVU writers had a real theory about the arm. Everything I was related to an arm and I need to know that's a personal thing for me.

It's a very it's a very college paper subject.

Neil Neil there less arm in the.

In the episode choreographed on Lona Dress view by Hannah Kyle Creighton.

Neil tweet at us, Yeah, Neil.

Let us know if you guys had some kind of arm imagery going on with Rady alis uh. And then yeah, we also what we have learned outside of the show, because we did mention the grocery bags again in this is that there are special grocery bags that are props.

Yeah, they're made out of silicon because they don't make that noise. So we learned that.

Oh yeah, if you can get Binnard up Peters to be your lawyer, gosh a legend. Tinker Bell and I thank you Bell, she's the best. Okay, now it is time for what would Sister Peg Do? Which is our weekly segment where we give you guys, you know, articles, books, charities, organizations that you can look more into and get some more information about the subject we touched on in today's episode. Since today's episode was really more about, you know, the

I want to mention Sclare grammer is a fucked disease. It's one of the worst diseases. Drag Queen Chi Chi zu Vain.

Yeah, had this and a beloved drag queen who recently passed away from this.

Yeah, and I was watching an interview and she was like everyone says when I got this, Everyone's like, but you should have gotten cancer, Like, it really is a really fucked up disease.

Not that cancer is a walk in the park or anything like that.

But if you want to do some research on it, it really is like scary and there is no cure and if you are feeling, if you are able to, I would really encourage getting involved with this one.

That's also to mention that on our Instagram if you're interested, we have all of our former what would sister pegs tagged in a highlight on our Instagram page, So if you're interested in any other organization we've mentioned, they're all listed there in a series of stories, as well as anything we mentioned on the podcast, like funny pictures of Riba McIntyre with a corn dog or Lisa's Obama chocolates, those are in a highlight.

That we have named mention it All.

So if you see our highlight that's mentioned it all or you're like wait when did they post the picture of this? Obviously, highlights only last for twenty four hours, so we've I mean up stories do so we've saved them as a highlight for you.

Next week's episode will be Vulnerable. That is season four, episode three, so do your homework, bitches, and all episodes are on Hulu and Peacock and we cannot wait to see you on social media and next week, bye bye bye That's Messed Up as an Exactly Right production.

If you have compliments you'd like to give us or episodes you'd like us to cover, shoot us an email at That's Messed uppod at gmail dot com.

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