“You’re a DMV 4 and a NASA large”
The guys discuss how Spanish sand castles can incur fines, when Swiss urination violates noise ordinances, and why the Australian roll call process is extremely flawed.
Jul 14, 2025•54 min•Ep. 266
That Checks Out
A podcast for anyone who enjoys a sarcastic and ironic view of everyday life!
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Episodes
“ Sir, I am holding your pants. Presumably, I should be able to see your IP. I cannot…”
The guys discuss how an amphibian can ruin your cornflakes, when a trip to DUI court ignites a passion for the overpriced wig industry, and why your ability to get a $1.50 hot dog does not entitle you to domestic flights.
Jul 07, 2025•49 min•Ep. 265
Pimp Your Cake, “We Are Hiring”, and Doctor Dogs
The guys discuss how court ordered restrictions can negatively affect the sale and distribution of cookies, when digging a new canal is more fiscally responsible than ordering a second remote, and why fecally adhered stickers is the leading cause of death in house fires.
Jun 30, 2025•53 min•Ep. 264
Joe Martin, Teabagged Teeth, and Sexy Manatees!
The guys discuss how the perfect pot of coffee paved the way for infant safety, when the best way to find love is to attend as many funerals as possible, and how a realtors disclosure of porch bites is not necessary when listing a property.
Jun 23, 2025•55 min•Ep. 263
Hospital ATMs and A Hiccupping Purge
The guys discuss why you can never have too many airbags when there’s a goat in the car, how $200 will not only get Nana a box but also a cosmetic touch-up, and when having a loving husband willing to crap in your driveway can save you $17,500 for a night out.
Jun 16, 2025•49 min•Ep. 262
Land Boat and Red Dogging
The guys discuss how in the 1950’s you could hijack an aircraft every two years with zero repercussions, when a couples retreat to a horse ranch will boost your husband’s confidence, and why stalactites and stalagmites without a tram will kill your reviews.
Jun 09, 2025•58 min•Ep. 262
E-Chocolate and A Back Cracking French Dip
The guys discuss why it’s a good idea to keep the interior of your Chevy Cruze clean in the slim chance you may encounter a silverback gorilla, when violent flailing is the ONLY possibility of summoning a lifeguard, and how gambling on incontinence requires a thorough rinse between rounds.
Jun 02, 2025•51 min•Ep. 261
“When you show up for the ape bang you wanna be near the end…”
The guys discuss why your wedding dinner on the L train tastes so salty, when location can supersede infidelity in a Yelp review, and how “Drop Hog” has become a real threat to the zipper industry as we know it.
May 26, 2025•52 min•Ep. 260
“And this is just TODAY’S sack of nickels.”
The guys discuss why a social media HIPAA Law is necessary, when Ciabatta bread is the most romantic path to fresh air, and how Damon will never be more bangable than a muppet.
May 19, 2025•56 min•Ep. 259
Loophole The Bear and Coffin Earrings
The guys discuss why sometimes a second helicopter ride is necessary while trying to find your cell phone, when an improperly supervised child can cause a urinary tract infection, and how all doggie doors are not “Exit Only”.
May 12, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 258
“Audiohive Podcasting. We recommend the fish…”
The guys discuss what might be the world’s most dangerous apple tree, how many pool balls you can ingest and NOT clog the toilet, and why filling all the holes of your marriage with a donut means you must close up shop for at least one hour a day.
May 05, 2025•48 min•Ep. 257
Enthusiastic Elbow Washing and A Two Dish Minimum
The guys discuss why you should always secure all penguins pre-flight, when changing altitudes all but guarantees a victory in bear racing, and how keeping your eggs and car keys in the same pocket of your wetsuit is a huge mistake.
Apr 28, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 256
Emotional Support Tigers and A Steaming Pile of Lotto Winnings
The guys discuss how staying in one room can greatly improve your memory, when a request for unwashed flatulence will result in fornication, and why most Egyptian tombs smell like Chicago style hotdogs.
Apr 21, 2025•58 min•Ep. 255
“I love her so much, I’m gonna smack the dong right off of your torso…”
The guys discuss why alliteration was absolutely imperative during 18th century sexting, when an ear-piercing Hawk on a minibike is your best chance at exoneration, and how 4 1/2lbs of corned beef and several potatoes instantly becomes a single serving if not labeled properly.
Apr 14, 2025•55 min•Ep. 254
Dong Village, High Calorie Humans, and A Lady Pocket
The guys discuss why insufficient adult relations can make for very stale sandwiches, when nailing down a toilet can save you approximately $6,000,000, and how orally inspecting orangutans can eliminate the need to change the locks.
Apr 07, 2025•53 min•Ep. 253
Loose Scoops, Pomes, and The Golden Lego
The guys discuss how surviving a barrel plunge does not make you impervious to the power of citrus, when a stereotypical look guarantees you a full climax at the end of the rainbow, and why it is always better to encounter a single shark than a pod of dolphins.
Mar 31, 2025•59 min•Ep. 252
Pizza Acreage, Third Degree Beans, and A Cockwomble
The guys discuss why having multiple snacks straddle your lap is no longer an issue, how Damon will definitely injure his hands attending German operas, and what are the only two acceptable instances to acknowledge a “final notice” warning.
Mar 24, 2025•58 min•Ep. 251
Chimp Lunchroom Escapades and Magical Peanut Butter
The guys discuss what might possibly be the most disturbing way to “capture” a new roommate, when a perfectly arranged bedroom can guarantee foreign relations every night, and how the ending to every high speed chase in Germany may or may not result in a pant-less driver.
Mar 17, 2025•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 250
Anvil Wang and The “Stupid Deck” Parrots
The guys discuss why wearing two flashlights when jogging makes you more likely to be hit by a car, when an extra “I” can save you $13,000,000, and how a bronze penguin pecker doesn’t necessarily fit the decor of every room.
Mar 10, 2025•57 min•Ep. 249
Ghetto Juice, Pit Diapers, and “The Fish is Back!!!”
The guys discuss why Italian vampires constantly over season their marinara, when five cents worth of banana will literally double your dessert profits, and how Persian Pizza is the only acceptable pre-war meal for the warrior not counting calories.
Mar 03, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 248
3-D(ong) Artwork and Steven Seagull
The guys discuss why you should NEVER share a communion wafer with Damon, when achieving proper feng shui requires placing the TC directly in the crevice, and how easily badgers can fill up when devouring an impressive hog.
Feb 24, 2025•56 min•Ep. 247
Teat Speed and The Thinkin’ Bone
The guys discuss how a renaissance man could knock a soldier off a horse at 100 yards without using an arrow, why a ménage a trios with a Sasquatch will cost you your alimony, and when a 6 year old “farmer” cancelled Valentine’s Day for the entire school.
Feb 17, 2025•54 min•Ep. 246
“Its like a potato gun only they’re nuggets and it’s my butthole!”
The guys discuss why you have to set your manager down to make eggs above Niagara Falls, when a sarcastically smiling moon only adds humor to an otherwise indescribable morning, and how there’s no copay for at home dentistry.
Feb 10, 2025•54 min•Ep. 245
Cocaine Pigeons and South Mouths
The guys discuss how Polish anti-tank mines no longer come with directions, why even with Damon’s relentless questioning of the male anatomy he still cannot comprehend Bandaid wrappers, and when tranquilizing is NOT the worst thing you can do to an alligator.
Feb 03, 2025•43 min•Ep. 244
A Sexy Sugar Cube and The Sad “Tug” Boat
The guys discuss how it’s just proper etiquette (and an excellent fighting strategy) to apologize prior to punching your wife in the knees and taking her sack of rocks, when being a whore can save you a trip to the grocery store, and why choosing the correct bathing suit is imperative when pulling 9Gs to keep all your teeth.
Jan 27, 2025•58 min•Ep. 243
Life-Saving Windows and “Dragging the Knuck”
The guys discuss how garlic butter without mushrooms is not enough to justify homicide, why it’s necessary for goat costumes to be made of Kevlar during outdoor sexy time, and when Damon’s face nestled securely in your bosom is the key to safe travel.
Jan 20, 2025•1 hr•Ep. 242
VERY Adult Dodgeball and The Divorce Hotel
The guys discuss how whale milk can lead to a beautiful smile, when impersonating a ghost only delays the rescue mission, and why Damon believes voluntarily remaining poor the rest of his life is in his breast interest.
Jan 13, 2025•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 241
Hood Murals, Octopus Punches, and Battle Drugs
This is an episode of enlightenment for the guys as Ted discovers he’s going to be a father again, Damon discovers previously unexplored visual equipment, and Mac discovers Chuck AND Zack are indeed the very same person.
Jan 06, 2025•51 min•Ep. 240
“If you’re gonna measure the bulge you gotta pull from the core!”
The discuss how long is “too long” to leave your baby unattended in a gas station freezer, when your van’s paint job is totally irrelevant once the mattress is both greasy AND wet, and why a Chinese person apparently wouldn’t name their fish Todd.
Dec 30, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 239
A $2.00 Prison Sentence and “GO GET ICE CREAM!!!”
The guys discuss why it’s always best to survey the husband after vacations to avoid negative feedback, how giving your heart is no longer the absolute best way to show your commitment to a relationship, and where you can take Damon for an entire weekend to roam amongst the people completely unfiltered.
Dec 23, 2024•54 min•Ep. 238
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