The Matrix - Renegade Computer Hackers, Penis Enlargement & a Wet Sneeze

Do you remember a couple of weeks ago when we were talking about the Copa Cabana and like the songs, you actually don't know what the song is about. Yes, Copa Cabana is much much darker right than I could have ever imagined. All I want to do is make love to you. Is about a woman using a man for his seed to have a child. Like you

don't know that's what it's about. I was listening, I had like my I was walking the other day through Brooklyn and the song come sail Away came on, Come sail away, Come sail away, Come sail away, hillo away with me. That's about an alien abduction. Are we sure? Well? A gathering of angels appeared above my head. They sang to me the song of Hope, and this is what they said, Come sail away,

et cetera, et cetera. Then the next verse, I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise, we climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies. Oh, it feels like a third verse about anal probes would not be completely unexpected when you listen to the lyrics come sail Away. Yeah, I'm true. Interesting. There's a metaphor in there somewhere about following your dreams forever. But what they describe is someone thinking they're getting raptured and

then instead being abducted by aliens. Wow, it's called dark. Hey, I'm Paul and America and this is that aged. Well, yesterday's pop culture. Today Mother's Day. May we're giving. We're giving our mothers a month, not just today. We're two mothers who love our mothers. That's right, even though if you really think about the term we're two mothers, what we're saying is we're two motherfuckers who love our mothers. That's gross too.

If you think that's also that's also weird. That's weird. I've made it weird. I made it weird. Congratulations, you've ruined the entire month for me. I didn't have to point that out to anyone. We are doing films directed by women this entire month. Little known fact, Paul. A lot of people don't know this. Women can direct movies too. It's not illegal. Not only are we going to talk about four films this month, but there were other films that we could have talked about, yeah, that

were also directed by women. There have been up to ten films directed by women since the beginning of Hollywood in nineteen twenty three, or what tens and tens of films? No, no, no ten, just ten, just ten. I don't want you to get your numbers wrong. All right, before we get too far ahead of ourselves, though, we do have a five star Apple podcast review. Shall I read for you? Yes? Please? All right? This is from Lindsey. Okay, I'm trying to I'm

trying to act the name. It's Lindsay with an exclamation point and then K Lindsay. Okay. My only wish is there was a question mark after K Lindsey, K Lindsey. K kind of thing. Anyway, Lindsay writes tens tens, tens across the board. I am officially addicted to this podcast. My sister got me hooked a few months ago, and I have literally listened every day since, catching up on all the archives when I'm washing up for bed, aged, when I'm driving to work, aged, when i'm doing

the dishes. Aged. Thank you for giving me a chance to laugh each and every day. Putting in a request for future episodes. Just one of the guys pretty in Pink, once Bitten some kind of wonderful. Keep them coming, you two. Thank you again. Paul. Have we not done some kind of wonderful yet? We have not done any of these? Oh my god, I had it in my head that we had Nope. Oh you know what, We're gonna scrap this episode and just make this some kind

of wonderful month. We're just gonna do some kind of wonderful all months. Sorry, moms, you're canceled. Canceled it is instead John Hughes month. Yeah, it is some kind of wonderful month. Paul. That's really portant here. I know you've many times told me that I would love some kind of one. It would be a John Hughes that would that would turn me around a little bit on John Hughes. So good. It is so good. I realize you're not saying that about pretty in pink. Pretty in pink

is not perfect. I'm not Pretty in pink has flaws. There's cracks. Oll I love it? Yes? Is it flawed? Sure? Who cares? Lindsey Kay, thank you so much for this Apple Podcast review. If you would like a toe bag that you could show off to your sister and make your sister jealous, get her to write another review. You just let

us know and I will send it off for you right away. Erica, what is the first the first movie we are doing on this The month of All Female Directors, All Female Director Month kicks off with a sci fi bang, y'all. Today's film is The Matrix. Yes, The Matrix was a directed not by not one woman, but two women. That's right, right now, we're getting crazy. I forgot to say nineteen ninety nine sci fi epic The Ma The Matrix was requested by Sidney Sonny in a Patty, Brian,

Marissa and John. It was written and directed by the Wakowski siblings and it stars Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, and Joe Pantoliano. Joe Pantoliano is to the Wakowskis what Robert de Niro is to Martin Scorsese. He's their muse. I will not take any questions, there will be no there will be no discussion. He is what Emma Stone is to Yorgos Lanthemos. No one brings out the best in Joey Pants like

Joey Pants. The Wakowskis understand Joey Pants on a level that even Joey Pants didn't know Joey Chance exactly. The Wakowskis have all of Joey Pants therapists notes, they know him inside and out. He is so good in this movie that you forget he's supposed to be a computer hacker. Joe Pantoliano aged, I don't know forty three. It's supposed to be a computer hacker in this

movie. That is the premise, and yet it fucking works. What if this movie, what if the Wakowskis had really doubled down on hackers and they had just cast like Johnny Lee Miller, Angelina Joe Lee, and Matthew Lillard from Hackers as the futuristic hackers in The Matrix. Uh you want to hear my actual synopsis for this movie. I'll just tell you it right now. Yeah, actual synopsis. What if Hackers and Enter the Dragon had a baby, Yeah, that would be this movie. That's this movie. Yeah.

Yeah. The Matrix was nominated for and won four Oscars Best Sound, Best Sound Effects Editing, Best Film Editing, and Best Visual Effects. You know what I call that? Paul a sweep that's inside the park home run. This was American Beauty Year, so it certainly aged better than the Best Picture winner. It's her, it did. Actually, you're right. Uh. Lily Wakowski has said the film was all about the desire for transmation, but from a closeted point of view, and that she did not realize how much

her trans identity was coming forward when writing the film. Wooh, that's super interesting. I'd not heard that quote before. Very interesting. I mean one of the reasons that we were we thought it's kind of cool to do this movie in this month because for anyone, I would imagine anyone listening knows this, but both of the Wakowski siblings are trans women. But they directed this

film prior to coming out, Yes as women. When you watch the film, it says directed by the Wakowski brothers, right, So it's really an interesting watch to watch this movie with all of the hindsight that that them coming out provides it only it only improves the movie. Frankly, Yeah, really, you know what's funny, Paul is I didn't even think of that while I was watching the movie this week. Oh really, it's just super interesting. I'm curious, Like, as we go along through the plot points of

the film, like where that's going to become more and more clear. That that was like, that was like a subtle subtext of the writings as Lily Wlakowski was writing it. Yeah. Absolutely. The Matrix has an eighty three percent critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes and an eighty five percent audience score. It has an eighty six on cherry Picks. This is the most closely aligned ever, very bunched up. Yeah, I you know, I'm good with all

of these. I could see why the critical rating was a little was maybe a little lower than the other two, only because at the time I think some of the performances in this film were maligned, specifically when mister Keanu Reeves and as we have said before, this is a pro Keanu Reeves podcast. I agree, this is a pro But you know what's funny is I would have been one of those naysayers. Of course, we've grown who was like but everyone knows Keanu's terrible in that movie. And then I watched it again

this week. Keanu is not terrible in this movie. Keanu is fulfilling the fucking brief. He is excellent in this movie. It's not even He's not even just good. Excellent. I would I could also see, look, this movie has a lot of ideas, like a lot of ideas, and they are they are Jackson pollocking the wall with ideas and some of them. And I'll say right now, I've never seen any of the any of the sequels, so I don't know if some of those ideas come back, if

they're if they're seating something for later to bring it back around. But like the very popular sci fi ideas that humans are not mammals, they are the virus, right like that comes up, it comes and goes, barely explored, it all like that just flies right past in one line. So I could see a a reviewer being like, it's a little confused, which, having watched it now twice this week, I think I can actually pretty confidently say I can explain the matrix to somebody. It all tracks. I do

get it. I understand what the purpose is. But they're they're throwing a lot at the screen and some of it does not matter. Yeah, and you kind of have to like let some of that go. So I can see a reviewer being like, well, why is it there then, which is a completely fair, fair take on the did you ever see Jupiter Ascending? No, but you have told me it is a watch unlike any other. That is the apex of the Wakowski is throwing everything at the screen.

I am a little surprised the audience rating isn't higher. I was expecting this to be ninety five percent audience rating. You know what, That's true. This movie made a huge, huge impact in American cinema. Like I don't think we can adequately describe the impact it had in visual style for the next

twenty years, in fight choreography for the next twenty years. I mean, I'm not saying this is the first time the fight choreography like this appeared in an American film, or even in a movie that was popular in America. I would say Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon laid to the groundwork for this. But like, this movie became a runaway sensation. Everyone had to see it. Everyone was talking about it, everyone was parodying it. Everyone dressed as

these people for Halloween, you know that year. The visual style of American filmmaking just changed after this. It's really fun to be able to talk about one of these totally so Erica. When did you first see the Matrix? Were you one of the people who went to see it. I did not see it in the theater. Really, I don't know why. I think I was in college and I was busy and I just wasn't paying attention,

and I saw it after the fact. I saw it. I think what happened was I had a similar conversation with someone who was like, you've never seen the Matrix. Yeah. I was like, oh, oh, you got to see the Matrix, and so I read this. Was it a man? Was he like? Oh my god, if you know me, let me watch the Matrix with you. Cau's still confusing, So I'll make sure I'm going to explain it to you so you don't get confused with your woman brain. I just need to explain this to you. No, No,

I don't think it was a man. I'm not sure who it was. But I had a conversation with several people who were like, well, you're missing a moment in American culture if you're not watching the Matrix because everyone's talking about it. And I was like, you know what, You're right. So I rented it. I was probably in my early twenties when I watched it for the first time. Okay, really was not expecting what I got. I was expecting, like a fun action movie. I didn't really

care, Like I was like, this is gonna be lame. I whatever, it's gonna be all flash, no substance. And I was blown away by it. I really really loved it the first time I saw it. I've seen one of the sequels, maybe two of the sequels. I can't I can't really pinpoint how many of the sequels I've seen. Okay, this one I've seen a couple of times since that first viewing, and then again this week for maybe like the third time or fourth time. It's crazy because

it's not my general cup of tea. Actually, this is not usually the kind of movie I gravitate towards. Yeah, I would say it's a little I think you prefer your action movie is a little dumber than this movie.

I like veage and dumb. I'm gonna ding the movie hard today on the gun violence in it, and like I have a thing with movies even before, like you know, all the violence in the past twenty years, when a movie gets too loud and too like gun violent, y and I and I don't believe the stakes are high because I'm like, well, they're not going to kill Counter Reeves. You can show me ten minutes of someone firing

a gun at Kanta Reeves, but it's boring. Yeah, you know, this movie manages to subvert those expectations, though, Like I was expecting that, and it was much more interesting than that. There is a little bit of that. There are definitely moments where I'm like, oha, definitely let's move on. I'm done, but it doesn't indulge in those moments too much, and it's the stylistically like unimpeachable. Yeah, how about you, Paul,

when did you first see the Matrix? I think I saw this in the theaters, unlike you, you are in on the I was, yes, exactly, I couldn't. I couldn't let this moment pass me by. I had let so many moments pass me by by that point in my life. But as anyone listen to this podcast knows, I haven't seen anything. I was like, I have to see the matrix. And this is also I think a little bit more my speed than yours. Like I like a mythology, I like a world. I prefer a world with like dragons,

like I like a fantasy world more than a robot world. But I do like a world mythology, So did you know that was what you were going to get when you were going in? Because I feel like the marketing for this movie didn't adequately explain it. I think I went in basically just knowing like it's complicated. That is my memory of my expectation, Like you're not

really gonna understand everything. You have to see it like two times to really be able to follow what's going on, because I think the movie does a It does tell a lot, but it also shows and it doesn't over explain. It's like if you miss one line, you might be a little bit lost because you missed the one line kind of thing. I liked it. I enjoyed it. I had no desire to see any of the sequels, so I guess that I probably was like okay, cool, and then like

moved on with my life. And then I watched it again this week and it's so good. Yeah. Not only does it work as a metaphor for the transidentity of the two directors, it works as a metaphor for like AI and America trying to literally like eat the middle class and destroy people so that rich people can live, you can live on their high hogs. The fact that AI like was a thing twenty years ago that was like the villain in a movie, and it's still a thing. I'm like, shit, Oly,

shit. The movies are warning us, y'all. They're telling us stop uh Erica. The tagline for The Matrix was Free your Mind and the rest will follow. The fact that there was no en Vogue needle drop in this movie is a miss. That's so disappointing, especially since the entire fashion sense of this film came from that end Vogue for Your Mind music video. Correct. I said what I said. I said it. I said it. I actually think for your Mind is perfect. Yeah, agreed. Do you

want to read the iTunes synopsis? Sure? Neo Keanu Reeves believes that Morpheus Laurence Fishburne, an elusive figure considered to be the most dangerous man alive, can answer his question what is the mat Neo is contacted by Trinity Carrie Anne Moss, a beautiful stranger who leads him into an underworld where he meets Morpheus. They fight a brutal battle for their lives against a cadre of viciously intelligent secret agents. It's a truth that could cost Neo something more precious than his

life. I know, if that last sentence makes sense, it doesn't make sense. It's also not one hundred percent accurate. Yeah, but I understand the iTunes synopsis writer is problem here is that, like, how do you explain this movie in a right pithy way. Yeah, it's it's it's very difficult. I mean, maybe just they fight a brutal battle for their lives and more against a cadre of viciously intelligent secret agents. Yes, also there also computer code. Also, so much code. You're gonna have so much

code. I maintain it is Hackers meets Enter the Dragon, and I swear that's what the Wakowskis came into the pitch meeting with. They were like, can we do Hackers meets Enter the Dragon? And then I don't know, yes, yeah, just drumped a dump like a dump truck full of money in front of their house and turned on the money faucet and was like, here you go. All right, so everyone stick around, We will be right back and we're going to take you through the matrix after these messages.

For anyone who's not a member of the Patreon, you don't want messages, go join the Patreon and we're back. The Matrix opens with green tinted credits, like the WB logo is tinted green. I love it when they when they like the credits start rolling and we're already in the movie, already in the experience. It's like a ride great adventures. Exactly. Do you like roller coasters? I hate them. I've never been good with roller coasters. I have I throw up easily. Yeah, you have motions like this issues

I don't. I just don't like being jostled. I don't like the people who run them. I don't don't trust them, Sorry, don't trust them. And I'm like, I'm sure some of them are great, wonderful people, but every once in a while you get one where I'm like, I don't. Yeah, but why are their eyes always so shifty? That's the question. If they're great, wonderful people, why you so squirrellly? Okay, I don't think. I don't think my life should be in your hands.

I just saw you eat corn dogs and a fifth of room. You are fifteen years old, and you are high. I don't really want to get on this ride right now with your controlling it any crap. The Matrix opens on a computer screen, and we see like indications that a phone call

is being traced. As we overhear the voices on the phone line discussing the one quote unquote, the male voice mocks the female voice that, oh, you like him, you like watching him, you like the one The voice is realize that the call is being bugged, and they quickly hang up, and we see police officers approaching through a dark hallway and they kick open the door and they shout at the back of a leather clad woman to put her hands up, and we cut to the street and reinforcements arrive in the form

of Agents Capital A Agents. These are men in business suits with ear pieces and sunglasses, and they are led by Agent Smith Hugo Weaving, who commandeers the scene and tells the police outside that the units in the hotel are already dead. Hugo Weaving doing so much with so little. The whole point of the agents, specifically Agent Smith, is that they're like unfeeling their actual robots

right, their actual like computer codes come to life. And he does this thing with his voice where he's doing he's Australian doing an American accent, but he's like over pivoting that American accent, like yeah, hitting every consonant. It is such an underappreciated I think, and truly truly excellent performance. He says the word life like the word live, but with it with an unvocalized consonant. It's a really weird thing that I was fascinated by the whole time.

If anyone is ever wondering what speech and voice classes and theater school are for, it's for this. Go watch you go weaving in the Matrix. That's a speech and voice class in theater school. We cut back inside as the policeman enter the hotel room with a leather clad woman, Trinity played by Carrie Anne Moss, and that ass. Oh fetishes were born that day, my friend, the way her ass just sings that in those black leather pants.

Yep, and it's pleather. We know it's not leather. It's definitely pleather that these poor actors had to wear because it has they wanted something that looks shiny. Holy shit, this body, her ass sing so much, it's like Pavarotti in the Moon and Mulan rouge. Yes, that's that's that's her ass. That's her ass work in these pleather pants. Her assing so much. It's like Whitney Houston at the super Bowl. Okay, yes, yes, her ass sings so much that the Bradley Cooper wants to conduct it.

That's right. Yeah, that's how that's how much her ass singing. Her ass sing so much that Lady Gaga took out a hit on Carrie Anne Moss's ass. I don't want the competition as all fully beautiful Top ten women are. Trinity is a renegade computer hacker. Obviously, if someone ever asked me what the nineties were, like, I'm gonna say renegade computer hackers.

That's what the nineties were. It's so true. I mean, like, honestly, it's like Angelina Jolie wasn't beautiful enough in hackers, so they had to throw and carry and Moss into this list like impossibly beautiful women who are also computer geniuses. Yeah, uh huh. Renegade computer hacker was like such a fucking fetish in the nineties. Oh yeah, it was unbelievable how much

people cared. Well, it's also like, because we were all the Internet was in its nascency, so we didn't really know what was possible with it. Yeah, and so if they if some movie came along was like this computer hacker can use the Internet to literally turn your hair gray, we'd be like, oh my god, really, yeah for real, there were like wizards in dungeons and dragons, like they could just cast spells that we didn't understand. Yeah, they were the girls from the Craft exactly. We're the

weirdos, mister. So as a totally average renegade computer hacker, Trinity easily outclasses all the men with their gravity defying martial arts. Like the movie starts right away with this like incredible stop motion. So again I'm not exaggerly what going I say. Entered the Dragon, it's very Bruce Lee es. It's very like old school martial arts from the seventies, but instead of sped up or in real time, it's slowed down and all the actors are on wires,

so it looks like they can float and fly in space. It's very cool. I also like it because the in universe explanation for how they can do this makes the unreality of it. It makes the unreality of it makes sense, like the fact they look suspended on wires, it makes sense with the powers that they supposedly have in this world. Yeah. So, after dispatching the cops, she calls someone on a cell phone, concerned that she doesn't know how the call got hacked. A new voice on the line tells

her that they cut the hard line and she needs an exit. The voice gives her an address and tells her that the agents are there and that she can make it. The agents burst into the room, and it seems that the tables have turned as calmly as Trinity took out all those police. She wants no part of these agents, right. She just turns around and runs. They pursue Trinity. She goes out up the building over the roofs.

They're running across the rooftops of this unnamed city, and the agents quickly reveal themselves to be able to accomplish the same kind of superhuman feats that Trinity is able to do. They're making leaps that no human could make over these rooftops.

Right. Eventually, Trinity dives through a window and she rolls to a stop at the bottom of a flight of stairs, and she whips around and she has two pistols at the ready, right, And I love this moment because she's terrified and Carrie on Moss says, get up, Trinity, just get up. The juxtaposition of having her beat the shit out of all of those men thirty seconds ago and now she is genuinely scared makes her human. She's genuinely worried about this. This is not like she's so scared she almost

can't make herself move to keep running. She's vulnerable. This raises the stakes, right, She's not this impervious being. She can be killed. Trinity flees to the address given and we see a payphone there, a phone booth. The phone rings. At the same time a semi truck appears, headlights on the phone booth. Trinity makes a run for it. As the semi accelerates, she picks up the phone and we see her turn to the camera and put her hand up as the headlights bear down on her and the truck

crashes into the phone booth. In the aftermath, the agency there is no body in the booth. Trinity has escaped. They are unconcerned as they now know the informant is real and they know their next target is someone named Neo, so important. They have an informant in whatever organization Trinity is in. That's how the phone call got hacked yep, and the informant gave them the correct information to find Trinity, So okay, this is a good lead.

Basically, the amount of nineties ephemera in this film, such as landlines, payphones, uh huh, just delight me so much, I know, And how unadvanced the cell phones that they use are. Oh the rinky, These rinky dink like nineteen ninety eight Nokia phones that they're using basically look like walkie talkies. When did you get your first cell phone? Now we got to talk about this. Oh, my first cell phone was after I graduated college,

so like two thousand and two. Oh, so probably had like the ability to take pictures as Oh no, no, no, because I do things. I got like a rinky dink. I got the cheapest one I could. I was was good. I had to do the whole thing where you're typing. There's no keyboard to you. You have to hit like the five forty time numbers. Yes, mine did that too. I got mine a little earlier than you. I got mine when I was still in college. The freedom to be able to like use the phone while I was walking

to class, and like it changed my life. I was like this, who this technology where I get a whole five hundred minutes a month to talk on this phone. That's incredible. I am blown away. We cut to Thomas and played by Keanu. Keanu Reeves like, I don't think there's I don't think he should be the next James Bond, but I'm not against it. I'm not against Keanu in anything. Keanu will be willing to give us

of himself. Frankly, yactly, yeah, yeah. Keanu, who also is a computer hacker in this film, Beautiful, Gorgeous, Keanu Reeves, beautiful, beautiful, Keanu reeves. Ah, it's asleep at his computer desk. Messages from an unknown source flash across his screen and refer to him by his hacker handle Neo. He does the thing that I love people doing movies when, like on the computer screen someone's like, hi, Neo, you know we're we've hacked to your computer and he turns around and looks behind him.

Yeah that's how man, that's how it works. You can't see them, Otherwise they would just knock on your door. The messages tell him the matrix has you follow the white Rabbit and then knock knock Neo, and just then there's a knock at the door outside a skeezy client awaits. Neo, as it turns out, sells illegal software in this world. That's his side hustle. Okay, what is he selling? Though? They never make it clear. The one part of this movie that I never got clarity on,

and I'm like, but what is he selling? Because the people he is selling it to are a bunch of like very cool, downtown looking, leather clad rock and roll types. They're they're on their way to a club. They're gonna do e and coke all night, They're gonna fuck in the bathrooms. They're definitely proposing a threesome when they ask him if he wants to come with a million percent. So he's what software could he be selling to these people? Maybe it's maybe it's proto grinder. Maybe the guy is like a

finance bro, but like, dress is cool. I really wish the movie had buttoned this up just a tiny bit because I'm like, genuinely, what the fuck is that? What would that guy want with anything Neo has? Like it's the codes to the to the Pentagon, Like that's that they could Why does that guy want them? That's the thing. It's not like he's like if if he'd been like some sleazy like you know, Russian underground like mafioso, I'd be like, Okay, yeah, he wants to key,

he wants to get into pack the Pentagon. Sure, this guy looks like like like the lead singer of the band that goes before the band that goes before like my Chemical Romance, my chemical romance. Yeah, like they didn't open for my chemical romance, but they opened for the opener of my Chemical

Romance. So why does that guy need anything from a computer hacker? It's so funny that like this bothered you so much because my head can because it's obviously intentionally set up to be like a drug deal, Like you think he's going to sell them, yes, right, and like my head canon immediately went to in this world, computer programs are drugs, but how no, No, it doesn't make any sense, Like that is my immediate reactions, like, oh, like we're gonna see them, like you know they can

like plug it into a port in their finger and they get high or something like. It doesn't that doesn't make any sense and we don't see that. But that's I just defined it for myself and moved on Meanwhile, cut to Gwen and Gavin later tried to smash the computer thing, the computer chip and snorted in the bathroom, and they're like, that wasn't cocaine at all. Erica. They have names. Their names are Choi and Dujore. Okay, it's a Choi and Dujure, but I in my in my head canon right

now, they are Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rosdale nineteen ninety nine. That's what they look like, So Choi. But by the way, in case you're wondering how subtle this movie is, Choi says things to Neo like you're my savior man, my own personal Jesus Christ, and just sounds like you need

to unplug man. Like it's not subtle. I really can see now, like thinking about it, Like if I was like a forty five year old male like critic his favorite movie is like a conversation watching this, I would be like, no, no, fuck you and the horse you rode in on. So that in retrospect, that ninety three percent or whatever this movie

got seems really reasonable. So Neo delivers his goods to Joy, and he notices on Dujour's shoulder that there's a white Rabbit tattoo, and he remembers those messages he just got which told him to follow the White Rabbit, so he agrees to follow them to this goth techno club. Have you ever seen a single episode of Alias? Then you know exactly where this goth techno club looks like. There, You're done. You're done. You've never seen Alias.

Highly recommend season one and then just stop. You can actually no two season two because that cliffhanger is legit at the end of season two. Season two, and then stop maybe the beginning of season three to catch up to what happened at the end of season two, because that that cliffhanger is for real. Now for real stop now, no, really, stop, really stop In the club, Trinny, he approaches Neo and tells him she sent the

messages. She's the one that hacked into his computer. He recognizes her hacker handle as you know Trinity, because again, like in the film Hackers, they all know each other. They're all famous to each other. It's like seven of them. They don't know what they all look like yet they're all somehow fucking underwear models. Yeah, but she says she was a hacker a long time ago. She tells him he's in danger. She knows who he's looking for, and she knows the question he wants to ask, what is

the matrix? She tells him the answer is out there and is looking for him. An alarm clock rings and Neo wakes up in his own bed, late for work. We cut to Neo at work getting chewed out by his boss. He heads back to his little cubicle desk and he receives a hand delivered package from FedEx. Now, I know we're in a futuristic world, but a does anyone get FedEx packages delivered? Can you can you like put you know, forty third floor of this building cubicle seventeen? Like, did

FedEx do that? I don't think they did that. I think before everyone and their mother started buying shit online, FedEx had very little to do. They had like seven packages in a data deliver They were like, Hey, do you want us to do anything around the house while we're here? Yeah? Used to be a cushy gig. Now it's run, run, Run. Also, I'm sorry this FedEx guy is flirting with Keanu. It's my head canon. I'm sticking with it. Fair enough, So he takes this

package. Inside is a cell phone. The cell phone rings, Neo picks it up, and a deep voiced man identifies himself as Morpheus. This is the man that Neo was looking for. This is the man he wanted to ask what is the matrix? But before he can say anything, Morpheus says they're coming. Neo looks up and he sees the agents arriving in his office, being pointed towards his cubicle by some of his co workers. Morpheus tells him that he can escape, but only if he follows Morpheus's instructions exactly.

Neo scrambles to obey, but ultimately is unable to bring himself to walk out on the window ledge of skyscraper to get to a scaffolding, which is where Morpheus tells me he has to go. He cannot. He cannot conquer his own fear of being eighty stories up and inches from falling to his death. You know what, Neo, man? The fuck up? Come on? Come on? What are you doing? What is your problem? Every time a stranger on the phone tells me to put myself in extreme mortal danger,

I do it. They only have good intentions. Ever, yeah, yeah, it only ever ends up well, so Neo is captured by the agents. So Agent Smith leads the interrogation of Neo, calling him mister Anderson and telling him in a creepy, semi monotone voice that, despite having evidence of all of Neo's illegal hacker activities, whatever the fuck he was selling to Gwyn and Gavin, Yeah, he just wants Neo's help in finding Morpheus. Neo flips him off. He literally gives him the bird, which is very funny,

and demands his phone call. He's like, he listens to this podcast, he said, lawyer. He knows he's heard our PSAs many many times on this subject. And when a cop talks to you, you say, lawyer, he don't necessarily flip them off. First, I wouldn't recommend that that's a bold move. That's a that is a that's a that's a varsity move. Not everyone's here for that, That's right. It depends on the

cop. It depends on the on the person being questioned. But yeah, he was like, uh, fuck you, I want my phone call. I'm calling I'm calling my lawyer. Agent Smith wonders what good a phone call would be if Neo is unable to speak wow, and then Suddenly flesh grows over Neo's mouth, rendering him mute. This is funny because this is the only like special effect in the movie that does not work for me at all.

It looks so janky, and I was like, wow, they mastered the art of like stop motion technology and wire choreography whatever cgi it took to make like bullets seem like they were stopping in mid air and then and then Keanu can touch one and it drops. But they couldn't quite get like the mouth being covered over by flesh interesting. They just couldn't figure that out. They should have given him like a zipper over his mouth, like they didn't

beatlejuice yeah or shut yeah. The other agents burst into the room and they hold Neo down. They rip open his shirt. Hot fair again computer hacker. I look, I don't want to be a broken record here, but like the nineties were like, oh, was Johnny Lee Miller not believable enough as a computer hacker to you? How about we throw in Keanu Reeves?

Is that better? Is that more like it? They release a metallic scorpion like device that crawls over Neo's body and burrows into his stomach through his belly button as Neo tries to scream but still can't because he's got my guess is I don't know, like a bit of plaster on his face that's supposed to be supposed to be little. Yeah, Neo jokes awake at home and chalks the whole experience up to a bad dream. That's some dream. That's all

quite a heavy dream. Yeah. His phone rings and it's Morpheus again, and Morpheus tells him that he believes that Neo is the one and proposes meeting under a nearby bridge. Neo agrees. Just a stunning shot of the bridge with the rain pouring over it on. Neo waits, I mean, just like this world is all like chrome and like neon green and pinks, and like it's there are many shots this movie that are just gorgeous to look at. Yeah, we discussed this a little bit when we talked about Bound,

Like every shot is art in their films. They're really like they understand how to make visual art in a way that like few filmmakers do. Yeah. Trinity arrives in a black car along with allies, Switch played by Belinda McClory, an Apoc played by Julian Arahanga. Interesting little factoid I found out while researching this Switch who the woman here in the original script was a woman in the matrix but a man in the world. Oh okay, they don't do

that in them film, do they? They don't do it in the film. No, it was just that was the original concept. They threw it out. I think my guess is they thought it would be confusing for people and they just didn't do it. But like, just starting to talk about all of these trans things that start to like pop up in this movie, Yeah, that's super interesting. So Neo gets in and Switch immediately pulls a gun on him and tells him it's our way or the highway, which like

doesn't quite work like the my way. The highway rhymes our way or the highway just sounds. It doesn't rhyme. It doesn't really it's not very threatening. Could he used to ReadWrite on that one? Haha. Anyway, she tells him to open his shirt hot and he refuses, but before he can leave, Trinity grabs his arm and she tells him that he knows what life is like. It's out there, and she knows it's not where he wants

to be, and Neo stays. He opens his shirt and Trinity uses a device to yank the wriggling mechanical scorpion thingy back out of his belly button. That's a penis pump, right, That is a penis pump. They're using a penis pump. That is a penis pump. The pop I got a penis pump and Jerry ringed it to make it not looks like a penis pump. But that is one hundred a penis pump. And I I don't mean to be gross, but if something that large has to leave my body,

I'm gonna say, let's go to the back door. I'd rather not come through my belly button, which is not a natural hole. No no, I'm actually like clutching my belly button just thinking about that, Like ah no, no, no, leave her alone. She closed up years ago. Let to stay. Something about it big that the belly button grossed me out so much. There is a lot of body horror in this movie that frankly too much for me. But I'm a you know me, I'm a sensitive

boy. So uh. Neo was shocked that his dream from the prior night was real. The thing's real. Oh my god, where'd you get where'd you get a penis? Pump that big? Is that for like a horse? Did you ever have to pump horse penises? Holy shit? A pocket? Is your dick this big? If I dick's not big an for this? If I'm in the maintrix, can I make my dick bigger? I mean actually yes, yes, yes, you know you can answer is yes?

What if he was not on board at all with helping them in any way with any of their mission until they told him he could make his dick like, not even significantly bigger, like a quarter of an inch bigger, And he'd be like, okay, o woman, no, what if Porphous is like neo, your penis can be six and a half inches long while erect? And he was like, yes, I'm in I'm in six and a half Is that even possible? I can triple it? Wait, damn

it out loud. Trinity and the others take him to an abandoned building because again we are basically in an episode of Alias Yeah, where he finally gets to meet the Great Morpheus played by the Great Laurence Fishburne. Paul writes here a man that is somehow making a sneak skin black duster work. Correct, Yeah, you really have to be Laurence Fishburne. There's no one else. There's so few actors that can pull any of this shit off. Yeah,

Laurence Fishburne said, you require gravitas, and thus here I am. You require someone who can make any outfits saying I'm here. You're welcome, You're welcome. Morpheus asks Neo if he believes in fate, and Neo says no. He doesn't like the idea that he's not in control of his own life. Morphius tells Neo that the Matrix is everywhere. It is the world that has been pulled over Neo's eyes, and he's always been a slave to it. Morpheus offers to reveal it to him. Are we all caught up here

on what's happening? Okay, just checking with the audience here, I mean, we've all seen this movie right by this point. But like, the Matrix is everywhere, It is the world that Paul and I are podcasting. And what if the Matrix bothered to do this? Truly? What if like AI took over, created the Matrix turned humans into their like body bag slaves and they were like but still, we should have four hundred thousand podcasts the same time, the same time. Somehow that's important. Yep, that's the

most important thing. Morpheus holds out two pills, very famous scene. If Neo takes the blue one, he'll wake up at home and remember nothing of this whole adventure, no harm, no foul. If he takes the red one, he gets to know everything. Right, there's that speech going down the rabbit hole Alice. Right, Yeah, Neo takes the blue one. End of movie. Weird, right, that's a twist. That was my favorite, one of my favorite jokes in the Barbie movie when the same choice

is offered her and she's like, blue pill. How long do you think it took for them to set up that famous shot? So it's it's Laurence Fishburne's sunglasses and his hands are have the pill in each and each in each lens and Keanu where you can see Kanu reason it that was it. That was two hours of the cinematographer's life that he's not getting back, right, probably, I mean it's a little computers generated too. I'm sure like the

ke is added on afterwards. Honestly, I'm just shocked he could wear the whole movie Laurence Fishburne wears these sunglasses that have no arms to it's just the lenses like stuck on his nose and I'm like, but how the spirit gum? Do you have spirit gum on your nose? Sir? How are those staying? Poor Laurence fishburn had to have spirit gum on his nose for like the six months it took to shoot this movie. I think that's a safe

bet. So obviously, Neo picks the red one. Morpheus and his crew hook Neo up to a machine and a mirror next to him just liquefies, and he's like, whoa very Keanu moment. No one nails a woe like Keanu, not even Joey Lawrence, no nobody, frankly. So the mirror liquefies that becomes a thick silver metallic substance that then incases Neo. There's a long sequence with a lot of body horror and birth imagery, and when you think about it, birthing a baby is the original body horror. Isn't it

like that? Oh? Correct, I've never done it, but correct. Ultimately we see Neo waking up naked and hairless in this that of Jelly with all kinds of plugs in his body, threw his arms down his spine that connect the vat, and he's surrounded by other similar pods. Right, how much ky jelly do you think they used for this? Like? All of

it? All of it, like could no one could buy lube for like a year, fourteen to fifteen drums of astroglide went into this, by the way, you say, other similar pods, hundreds maybe thousands of similar pods. You have to explain a little bit of stuff to me. Actually, okay, where is this? This is the real world? So this is right? But physically where like is this on Earth? These pods that we see Neo lined up in? Like this is this is what Earth is now?

It's just these pods, right, So like this is modern day Oklahoma City and Neo is just one of many hundreds of thousands of lads and this and this is a human farm. So Neo's vat suddenly drains of all the ky jelly and he falls down into a pit of water, but he obviously doesn't know how to swim. And just jumping into the movie a little bit, this is where his body has been its his entire existence. This is

his real world body. Its muscles of obviously atrophied. He's never learned how to swim, and he has no musk, he has no musculature to do it, so he starts to drown. Before he can drown, a door opens up in the ceiling because he's like basically been flushed down essentially into the sewer system of this world. The machines have thought he died, and now he's being flushed down into the system. This claw comes fall, comes down and picks him up and lifts him up out before he can drown. And

as he's falling unconscious, Morphia says, welcome to the real world. So, going back to giving birth being the original body, did you ever watch a birth that a birthing video in like health class? Absolutely not. You didn't have to. We were like required to. And it was boys and girls. It wasn't just the girls. I think it's because we were I grew up in Miami, and they knew there was a high possibility of team pregnancy, just given just given everyone's uh watching some that's a scared gay video,

that's what that is, as opposed to a scared straight one. Yeah, And so like they showed us a woman giving birth and like, I will genuinely never forget the feeling of that moment of seventh grade health class, and like they didn't have any sound on it. There was no sound to the video, so you couldn't hear screaming or crying or anything. But you

just watched this baby come out. And at first you're horrified. And first you're hugely embarrassed because you're thirteen in a classroom filled with all your friends. Yeah, and you're watching a lady's vagina up close, like you're like ross. And then and then the baby comes out, and you're all like, oh wow, the miracle of wow, that's okay, that's not so that's

awful, but it's not so awful. And then the placenta comes and the scream that erupted from that classroom because no one had ever told any of us that that was going to happen. It feels like something you should be warned about one hundred percent and something why doesn't anyone tell children, by the way, after the baby is born, and that all that whole part is gonna be awkward and embarrassing and gross and terrifying, but also kind of miraculous and

beautiful. This woman's vagina is going to do a wet sneeze and this unholy glow, just mucus and blood is gonna fly out of her. It is a memory I will never forget. Everyone was so traumatized. I wish I could go back and double check this, but I'm pretty sure no one got pregnant in that class. Now whatever, all those kids probably all virgins passed well to this day. To this day, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I did you see the placentive? Is you? I'm not I'm

not participating in anything that's gonna clause that what sneeze. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. After that, the ky jelly situation with the Kanu doesn't seem so gross. This seems so well. Now I understand why horror movies don't bother you, because you you were when I was like thirteen, mandatorily AnyWho, any crap. Neil falls in and out of awareness as we see him being I'm just picturing the thirteen year olds like me, like we made

it through, guys. This comes out and just pandemonium. The boy, the boy, the boy sitting next to me literally jumped out of his seat like and turned around was like, no, no, no, no, God. Who Okay? All right, I can't believe I've never told that story before on this podcast. Absolutely not great story. I'm so glad this episode got that up. That story, the celebration of womanhood. All right,

I'm back now, I'm ready. Neo falls in and out of awareness as we see him being rehabilitated by Morpheus, Trinity, and their crew. Since Neo's actual body has been his entire existence in a vat of jelly, his muscles of totally atrophied, so there's like an acupuncture section that they put him in. They put him in like a pod. He'll raise eat your heart out. Eventually, they explained to Neo, like your muscles of atropheed were rebuilding them for you so you can walk and move and do all the

things we do. Right, Eventually, Neo is ready. But now he has a permanent port in his neck at the base of his skull. We're gonna find out later that's the part of the whole issue that he was in with the human farm before he was connected. Basically, so Morpheus explains to Neo what has happened. He is now in the real world, he is on Morpheus's ship, the Nebekadnezzar, and the year is not nineteen ninety nine,

it's closer to twenty one ninety nine. And then Morpheus introduces Neo to the crew that he hasn't met yet, so we all meet Cipher played by Joey Pants Joe Pantoliano fucking nailing it like he always does. Yep, bless Joe Pantoliano. He is another freed human, so he was also once in the human farms, but he has been freed by Morpheus. He's dripping with sarcasm. He's mustachioed like a malicious lion tamer. He seems to enjoy needling Trinity and she seems to dislike him. Yeah, she's not a big fan.

Cipher Mouse played by Matt Duran, who's another freed human and he's the ship's ways. He's like the young one. He looks to be like twenty maybe yeah. And then the brothers Dozer played by Anthony Ray Parker and Tank played by Marcus Chong. Oh yeah, every time Tank came on screen, I flooded my basement. This person is beautiful. This guy is so hot that you forget about KEYONU reeves instantly, instantly like no, never mind, I want to fight Tank whatever, Ken shut up. Oh. So Tank

and Dozer are brothers. They were born in the last surviving human settlement of Zion, which lies deep underground near the warmth of the Earth's core. So they have never been part of the Matrix, and they lack the ports at the back of their head right, so they cannot enter the matrix. And as a result, that means Tank is usually the person who's guiding the other people who are in the matrix, the team communications expert. Basically they call

him the operator. Yeah, so then can we get an info dump? All right? So this is and this is gonna be a little bit dry, but I will say the movie does a pretty good job of kind of dramatizing it as Morpheus is explaining what's going on. So via their headports, all the freed humans that were born in the Matrix can re enter the Matrix and also enter other computer programs, usually run by Tank. That's why he is the lead operator. What is the matrix Erica. It's simply a neural

interactive simulation of the world as it was in nineteen ninety nine. That's all it is okay, any questions great? You know, I wouldn't mind going back to nineteen ninety nine. Yeah, some things were better, not everything, but some part of me was like, who a world where I get to perpetually live in nineteen ninety nine? Sign me up. Not so bad, I was. We were in our sophomore year of college. It was

pretty good. Yeah, times were good. The Matrix exists because humans developed AI years ago but lost control and a war between man and machines started. The machines were winning, and so humans chose to cause a nuclear winter to block out the sun, hoping to depower the robots, which relied on solar

power function. Unfortunately, the robots adapted, as AI is wont to do in these stories, and they created the human farms that we saw Neo wake up from, where they breed humans as living batteries to power themselves with bioelectricity. The Matrix is the dream world that the robots put the brains of their

human batteries in to keep them under control. So essentially, Neo was born in this human farm, his brain was placed in the Matrix, and his whole life, his actual body, has been existing to power the machines while his brain lived out this fictitious life in like nineteen ninety nine. Yep, one man. And by the way, you may think we're gonna get explanation on this one man, we are not, So just go with this. One man was born into the matrix with the power to change things, and

it was he who freed the first human minds. And Oracle prophesied this man's return, and Morpheus believes that Neo is his reincarnation. Neo is the one. So we get a lot of like this Messiah uh storyline in this one and in the past times really dinged movies on this Messiah storyline. I'm like, I hate the idea that, like it's one person who can save us all it's always a dude, you know, except refreshingly in Jupiter Ascending, it is my it's Mila Kunis. Oh, okay, it is a woman.

I find that really like conservative thinking. This film does does a good job of like taking the teeth out of it a little bit, so I don't find it as irritating as I usually do. Okay, fair enough, it didn't that that kind of stuff doesn't really usually great on me as much as it does to you. I read a lot of fantasy novels, and so much of it. There is so much of it the one I mean most everything we talk about that's like sci fi or fantasy fiction tends to have

that narrative, right. Like Star Wars Harry Potter. We get a training montage. Neo enters a computer program and Tank downloads skill into his brain, every martial art imaginable. We get the incredible I know kung fu O line that Keanu immortalized in this film. That is a great line. But my personal favorite line is jiu jitsu. I'm going to learn jujitsu. Ha. Do you also notice that one of the programs was drunk in boxing. No, that's very important. If you ever planned to travel to New Orleans,

they're gonna need that one. Yeah. He spars with Morpheus, who explains that in the matrix, or in any virtual computer world, Neo can break the accepted rules. We see ultra fast fighting, punches through the floor, gravity defying leaps. Morpheus tells him that he's trying to free Neo's mind, but he can only show Neo the door. Neo has to walk through it again. Laurence Fishern goes a long way for me, because normally this kind of thing drives me insane, where I'm like, yeah, shut up and

get to the rest of the plot. Stop, like stop wasting my time. Yeah. Laurence Fishburn's performance in this does the Lord's work in lifting this like haiku nonsense nonsense lines that he's being given. Eventually, Morpheus tests Neo by telling him he can jump from one skyscraper to another. The crew, like on the Nebukanezer watched pensively. No one has ever had enough faith to make the first jump, but if Neo is truly the one, maybe he

will. He'll actually make it yep alas he does not. You see him. Keanu winds up for the run. He's running, he's running, and you see the moment that he loses faith and he can make it and he's like Nope, not gonna make it. Boom and he falls off of this skyscraper. Neo wakes up with a bloody mouth, and Morpheus explains that while the matrix is not real, his mind in the matrix is, which again you would get way more than a bloody mouth from that fall. Well,

because that's a specific program they set up. So when he hits the page ground, right, He like, it's like an elastic thing. Yeah. Yeah, But if you die in the Matrix, you die in the real world because your brain doesn't know the difference. Morpheus goes on to explain that the agents are sentient programs and can transform themselves into anyone inside the matrix. Right, So the Matrix's computer code is just people's brains in there, and

the agents are computer code within that that can enter other people's bodies. Basically, no freed human has ever defeated an agent in the Matrix. But at some point Neo will have to fight them, and Morpheus believes he can defeat them, and Neo wonders if Morpheus believes he can dodge bullets, and Morpheus smiles and says, no, when you're ready, you won't have to. I am glad this check. This particular check is cashed later in the film

That made Me Very happy. The nebekon Nezer. This ship then has a brief encounter with quote unquote Squidties, which are basically enormous robots sentinels that can detect bioelectricity. The only weapon against them is an electromagnetic pulse, which can knock the squidties out, but it can only be used once and it requires time to recharge, and the crew manages to hide from the robots. Just remember those for later because they come back later as a plot point. That's

why all of that stuff an p squidties. You need to know that later. Okay, second question, then, so where are they? Where is their ship? They're in the real world. They're flying around the Earth and they're hiding. They're cloaking themselves from the robots. So they're flying a is it a spaceship? Are they just above the Earth's atmosphere? Yeah, pretty much, and they're they're they're like adventurers from the City of Zion, basically, got it, and they're trying to free more humans. All right,

I'm in, I'm in, I'm all in here. Neo meets with Cipher. Cipher offers Neo a drink and says he knows what Neo is thinking. Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill? Am I right? Cipher advises him if he ever sees an agent, to run. Okay, So, no matter what Morpheus believes about your abilities, even if you are the one, no one has ever survived an agent ever. Just run, Yeah, Neo leaves and Cipher then enters the Matrix. We see Cipher at a

steak dinner with Agent Smith. This steak look good, but is it also the largest steak you've ever seen in your life? It is a It is a prime rib because if you're starving, if you've been living on a if you've been living on scraps of food in space, and you gets cold, half cooked oatmeal, you get to go down into the Matrix and you get a fucking Argentinian steak, like a real fucking stake that. I don't know why that steak looks so good like, but I was watching the movie.

I was like, oh, I want steak. You want to know why? It is because Joey Pants. Joey Pants sells a moment, sells the shit out of eating that steak. That is absolutely true, So Smith. Agent Smith calls Cipher mister Reagan, mister Reagan, Mister Reagan, and Cipher bargains with him for a return to the Matrix. He says he's realized, after nine long years living this outlaw renegade lifestyle, that ignorance truly was bliss and he didn't know how good he had it when he was in the matrix.

He is also a white man. That's worth it in mind. He tells them though, that he has he has some conditions before he gives up with all this information. A. He wants his memory cleared of all the real world stuff. He doesn't want to remember any of it. Just wipe my slate clean. And B. I want to live well. I want to be rich. I want to live a high class life. I want to be I want to live an easy life from here on out. Yeah. Smith agrees and says that in return, he needs the access codes to

the Zion mainframe. That's That's That's City, the Free City still on Earth. Cipher says he doesn't have them, but he'll give Smith the one who does, Morpheus. We cut to Morpheus telling Neo that he's taking him to see the Oracle. The crew is all very excited. Ooh, Morpheus really believes Neo is the one. He's gonna take him see the Oracle. So everyone who can enter the Matrix enters the matrix. Morpheus, Neo, Trinity, and Cipher head to the Oracle, while Switch, Apoc and Mouse keep

watch on their exit say they stay back. Before they depart, Cipher drops a cell phone in the trash can, and this signals to the agents what their location is. I have two fashion notes here. Please, not even Carrie Moss can pull off this leather smock they have her in here, like, I don't know why they put her in this. It looks like an art teacher smock over her leather pants. Is this the one where it looks like a dress? Yeah? I like this one. No, I really

like it. It's like the suggestion of femininity without actual femininity. Okay, okay, But the fact that Laurence Fishburne can still pull off gravtas with this riddler looking tie that he has on. He is like a bright neon green pattern tie. Yeah, he fares less well in this scene to make a casus. Also, every single thing they put Switch in is one no notes. Switch is the fashion goddess of this film. Well, she also,

and they put her in white for some reason. She's almost always in white leather while everyone else in black level, And she's got white hair, short white hair, and she's got very pale skin. So it's a little monochromatic in the way that like in the way that carry in Moss is also a little monochromatic with her dark hair. It's fantastic. In the car on the way to the Oracle, Neo asks Trinity if she's ever seen the Oracle, and Trinity says she has, But when Neo asks what the oracle said,

she seems hesitant to share. She doesn't want to tell them. Yeah, none of your business, fucker, we met yesterday. Back off, back off. Morpheus reminds Neo that the Oracle is a guide who can help him find the path. They arrive, They're welcomed into this very zen space. This is easily the warmest place we've seen, and like everywhere else in the matrix is like blue filters. Keanu has never looked so pale as he does in like the office setting of this of this movie, but in here,

like it's like warm sunlight feeling, it's very different. There are a lot of children there. They're accomplishing feats of telekinesis and matter manipulation, and an aid introduces the children as quote unquote the other potentials, which will absolutely not be referenced again in this movie. Yeah. I have to presume they pick that up on later movies, because it seems like they're all searching for the one, and these are the kids that they think might be the one for

some reason, because they already have these abilities as children. Whereas yeah, well, also, there was a point in the movie, I don't know if it's been said already that Morpheus says they don't usually take people out of the Matrix at the age of Neo, like Neo's older than they try to take people out when they're younger so they can adapt better. But Neo they got to a little late, which also make question makes me question Cipher,

like, yeah, what happened? Who's asleep on that wheel because he's only canonically been there nine years. Yeah, and Trinity was in the matrix long enough to be a famous hacker, so she wasn't taken out at ten. Yeah, that's true, but she could have been fifteen maybe or something.

But yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay. So Neo speaks to the young boy who's bald obviously made to look like a little bit like a monk, and the young boy teaches him to bend a spoon with his mind because there is no spoon, there's so many reflections, and then the reflection gets twisted in this movie, or the reflection gets cut up which I which I think is a very like I think it's another interesting thing about a trans identity. Right, Like you're looking in the mirror and then the mirror changes, you're

what you're looking at. Neo is ushered in to meet the Oracle played by Gloria Foster, again a very warm presence. Can we overstate how good she is in this No, she operates at a completely different frequency than everyone else in the movie. Yeah she's, she's a she's in a play. She's yeah, yeah she is. And she's just so calm. Everyone else in the movie is tense and intense and like anxious, and she is just chill. But she's also chill in a very like normal is like a bad word

because it's like it doesn't adequately describe it in a grounded way. She's very yeah, because like I would say, Morpheus is also very calm the whole movie. But it's almost like zen master calm. Yes, it's almost like this, like I have studied the art of calmness, and now I will I will show you calmness. Whereas with this woman, it just seems to come naturally. It's like grandmotherly almost. Yes, yes, that's exactly it. It's very comforting. Yeah, so she smiles. She's like, we

said, a very maternal presence. She's got this scene, it all vibe. Guess what she's seen it all. She asks him if he thinks he's the one, and he admits he doesn't know, and she tells him being the one is like being in love. No one can tell you you are, you just know it balls to bones. Ah, excellent good writing. The Oracle gets down to brass tacks with him pretty quickly, and she tells him that unfortunately, you are not the one, despite what Morpheus believes.

I'm sorry, it's not you kid. You have the gift. You seem to be waiting for something to like activate the gift, but it's not coming in this life. Maybe in the next one, yeah, which is again kind of posits that this woman knows that, like we all get a second life. And I'm like, could we pause there for a moment. So reincarnation is a thing, right, that's the real thing. We can to

actually do this again. Yeah. Then she tell him that soon he'll have to decide between saving his own life and Morpheus's because Morpheus believes so much in you that he is going to sacrifice himself to save you, and you have to decide do you sacrifice yourself to save Morpheus. Neo is shaken. She's like, oh, sorry, buddy, I know that was a whole lot

of news all at once. She offers him a cookie. Yeah, and he's like, She's like, hey, listen, you don't believe in any of this bullshit anyway, because you don't believe in fate, So why would you even listen to me? After all? It's great, it's a great scene. It's a great scene that Gloria Foster, by the way, was married to Clarence Williams, the third who was the dad in Purple rain Oh really remember like the one actor in Purple Rainey said was a real actor.

That's what she was married to. All right? Cool? Yeah, So the team heads back to the extraction point. They meet up with switching apoc at the door. Mouse is inside. He is in the room with the exit. As they climb the stairs, Neo notices a black cat crossing through the doorway twice in a row, and he says, oh, do deja vu? The team goes on high alert. Deja vu indicates a glitch in the matrix, kind of Sappie right there. Because I saw the movie once

a long ass time ago. I barely have seen it. I don't like this week when I watched it again, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm kind of remembering this, but I didn't really remember it. And yet at least once or twice a year, I will have a dja vu and I will go, whoof glitch in the Matrix? Yeah? That line stopped Daid with me. Mm hmm. Yeah. So the glitch in the matrix, they say usually happens when they change something. And we cut to

Mouse, who's in the room. And Mouse is getting an alert because Tank is noticing that something is weird, and he runs to the window and he throws open the window and it's been bricked up, so the Matrix has bricked over the building. Once everybody's inside, so they can't get out. Mouse grabs like two huge machine guns and now that Like, there's been some gunfire before in this movie, but from here to the end, the number of bullets fired is genuinely it's astronomical, like, yes, insane, So wars

have been fought with fewer bullets this movie has. Yes, Mouse goes down, he's he is killed. Everyone realizes that the building has been bricked up on the inside, and Morpheus tells Tank, you got to tell me where the pipes are. Where the pipes. Tank tells them. They run and they hide inside the walls of the building, right, So where the pipes are is where there's space in between the walls, So that's where they go.

They're hanging in there. The agents and various policemen are combing the building looking for them. Everything's going okay, and then Cipher coughs, alerting the agents to their location. Morpheus, in an attempt to save Neo, bursts through the wall and engages the agents. He yells at Trinity, you run, save Neo. You have to save Neo. She does. Over Neo's protests. Neo is trying to say, the Oracle told me that wasn't the one. You can't like, don't sacrifice yourself to save me. Trinity takes

him out. They start running with the other people. Morpheus is visio beaten and taken prisoner. Cipher manages to split off from the rest of the group and calls Tank for an extraction. Tank provides one and answers the phone call from Trinity. A few moments later, with the rest of the team and sends them to the same location. Cipher gets there first and ports back up to the ship. He shoots Tank and Dozer. When I tell you, I squealed me too. He was like, not Tank, he's too good

looking. Poor Dozer. Poor Dozer, because, by the way, is also very good looking, very handsome. I'm sure a tremendous actor. Got very little to do in this movie. Cannon fodder, though, Let's get real cannon shatter. As soon as he dies, I'm like, well, yeah, someone has to die or else. There's no stakes. No, not Tank, anyone but Tank. I don't want to go on spoiler alert. We do get tank backs. Dozer does die, but Tank lives.

I think they knew. The Lekowskis knew. They were like, if we take this away from the viewing audience, we're going to get in some deep shit for this. Yeah, there's gonna be a riot. Trinity calls for an ex Riots of nineteen ninety nine just what no one expected, the horny tank riots. Riots. The theaters were rated by angry, vicious, horny teenagers screaming not you. Trinity calls for an extraction, and Cipher is there

remember Tank is gone. Now he's been shot. Cipher answers in a truly spectacular monologue, an oscar for Joey Pants, for this monologue, please. He monologues about how he's tired of war, tired of the shitty food they're

eating, tired of Morpheus with all his bullshit. All the while he's like sniffing at Trinity's unconscious body inside the ship, and he tells her, you know, for years I thought I was in love with you, But I guess I'm not for heterosexuals on this trip, on this on this space ship, it's thin on the ground. The numbers are not adding up. No one's getting off together. I get claim switch for the head aside here who knows what switches? The whole thing is good, good for them, whatever

they whatever they want. But still I get, I get. I get the frustration of a heterosexual man on this ship where he's like, holy shit, I have switched hands back and forth eight times. It no longer feels different. This is a fucking sausage fist. I do not care for the future. He leaps from Trinity's body onto Morpheus's and says that he wishes he could be there when Morpheus breaks, he gets really ugly. In this moment, right, Cipher unplugs a pock and switch, killing them in front of

Trinity. So while he unplugs them in the real world, Trinity sees them die in front of her. In the matrix. Cipher reasons that Neo is not the one after all, if he were, a miracle would occur at that moment to save Neo's life. So he gets on top of Neo's body. He goes to reached around to he gives them the whole reach around. He goes to unplug Neo. The number of times I've given guys the all reach around, you'll reach around just to kill them in the matrix yep.

At that moment, rightet Moore in the matrix, at that moment, right before he unhooks Theo, he looks up and he sees that Tank, gorgeous, gorgeous Tank is still alive, thank God, training a gun on him. Tank kills Cipher and extracts Neo and Trinity from the matrix. The line that he has to say, so he's he's whispering to Trinity and he's like, do you believe that he's the one? Do you believe it, and she whispers yes, and then it's a it's on Joey Pants, who we

have praise to the high heavens. But the line they have given him is no, I don't believe it. And then it cuts to like tank holding the gun on him, and I'm like, that is a rough line to give someone on their exit. Just have them look up and go oh or no or something. The I don't believe it is so much. Give him a shit or a fuck, give me something I believe he would say. Yeah. In the Matrix, Smith and the other agents interrogate Morpheus. They

shoot him full of drugs, they beat him. Morpheus refuses to give up the Zion codes under their torture, and Smith tells the other agents to leave and disconnects from their communication. He's truly alone with Morpheus, and he tells them that he hates the Matrix. He cannot stand the stench of humanity any longer, and he wants the access codes to Zion so he can destroy humanity and free himself from the Matrix forever, because there will no longer be a

need for the Matrix if Zion is destroyed. And then he destroys all the humans. This doesn't really make sense because he needs the humans in order to So it's basically like an AI that wants to end itself, but isn't all of AI connected, which is why he disconnected the ear piece. So he is a sentient being in this moment wishing for the sweet release of death, and the only way to do that is to literally kill all the humans. Yeah it this says, you're right, This doesn't make it. I'm just

kind of talking in here. It's in circles, like I don't know what the revealed. This is the one thing I can't quite wrap my head, right, Like I get the idea of wanting to have this AI character being like you think I like the matrix because it's what we set up and I fucking hate it. Like that's an interesting twist. But then what he should actually say is, so if you give me the codes, Desion, I will let you there. I want to take down the matrix too. I

want to die. I genuinely want to end my on life. Yeah, this whole existence, all of this, which is not what he says, but that's what he should say, right because they want him to sound human. Yeah, way, like he has almost a humanity like a loathing that is because machines don't give a shit what we're like, Yeah, they don't care that we suck. Yeah, you know that they're not sw meta toilet

would be if it knew what we did to it every day. There's this really interesting moment in this scene because I was thinking about this before the scene came up, where I was like, this is I actually had it like Snart in my notes. I was like, this is bullshit. The Matrix was all created so that humanity can live and perpetual slavery to the machines.

They created this world. This was the best they could do. With Keanu still getting yelled at by his boss with his dumb fucking job, and everyone seems pretty miserable, and I was like I was about to ding the movie hard on it. And then it's explained in this scene where he says the original version. Agent Smith says the original version of the Matrix was supposed to be a utopia, and humans literally did not know how to function under happiness.

They sought the darkness so much that they just died. They kept waking up. The Matrix couldn't hold them. Yeah, isn't that like a fascinating count like it is contract like what that's in my notes too, of like this is to think that that we as humans find it so much easier, Like even if you think about it in life, like something good happens and it lifts you up for you know, like an hour or something, but something bad happens and the whole week is ruined and like you yeah in that

bad moment. Oh, if you're like me, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always, yeah, always, I'm never happy. I'm never fully happy because I'm like, well, but when is the disaster that I know is coming? And it's like all evidence to the contrary, there's never been the disaster. It is a super interesting like peek into the human psyche, and like the movie is super interesting because on some level it's extremely surfacing. Right, this is not a takedown to the movie, but

it's very like it doesn't explain things. It moves quickly. It doesn't try to get too deep because because then it triggers conversations like this where you're like, but why does the AI hate itself? It doesn't make any sense? Yeah, but every once in a while it does kind of delve into the human psyche a little bit and you're like, Okay, well that's fucking interesting. I think that's another maybe reason why, like some critics were a little

bit like, this is all style and no substance. It's not no substance. It is, however, I will say, more style than substance. It's more style and substance because they don't develop their ideas. They kind of throw their ideas out and then let them sit there as like statements, as opposed to interrogating them very much. And it's not necessarily a ding on the movie because the style is so revolutionary. Hm. We cut to the ship. Neo, Trinity, and Tank discuss pulling the plug on Morpheus to protect

Zion right because no one has ever not cracked under agent questioning. Just as they're about to do so, Neo remembers the oracles words and he decides to save Morpheus's life over his own. Despite Trinity and Tank's doubt. Neo says he believes he can bring Morpheus back, and the Oracle's prophecy will back him up on that. Yep. He heads back into the Matrix to rescue Morpheus, and Trinity goes with him. He tries to say no. He's like, no, no, no, it's too dangerous, and she's like,

I outrank you, I'm your commanding officer. I'm going with you. Yep. Neo and Trinity then go down and lay siege to a skyscraper. It's awesome, it is. The Duster Hive has never been so strong as it is in this movie. Yeah, gos, kids everywhere rejoice. You have been seen. You have been seen, as Paul writes here, and he's not wrong. A genuinely unimaginable number of bullets fly through the air as they dispatch the security team and ride the elevator cable to the roof skyscraper. Neo.

I got the impression that Neo's afraid of fights, right, That's why he wouldn't go on to the ledge in the beginning. Oh, it never occurred to me, But yeah, that makes because there's a moment here where he knows this. He's about to ride the elevator rope all the way up, and he has to tell himself the spoon is not there, to like psych himself up for this this trip up right on the roof of the building, Neo and Trinity fight another security squad until an agent shifts into the body

of a helicopter pilot and engages them. Neo shoots at him, but the agent dodges all of his bullets and returns fire. Neo dodges the bullets so not quite as cleanly as the agent, and he's nicked. As he falls over. The agent stands over him, ready to finish him off, but Trinity appears and shoots the agent in the head. The body falls and it's only the helicopter pilot again. So maybe this is the first agent she's ever killed. I think, well, I think any other time she would seem

one, she would have run. Yeah, that was the protocol. So Trinity asks Neo how he dodged bullets like the agent. She's never seen anyone do that. This is all brand new. Do you ever read the book The Phantom told Booth? I did not, Okay, So in this book, this kid has to go on this quest and there's a secret on this quest, but no one can tell him the secret. Everyone else knows the secret, but they can't tell him. He has to go on this quest. He goes in this quest and he completes it, and he's like,

so what was the secret? And They're like, it's impossible. What you did was impossible. No one was able to do it. But because you didn't know it was impossible, you believe that you could do it, and so you did it. Holy shit. That's a great message, which is kind of like what this moment is to me. Like Neo doesn't know he shouldn't be able to dodge bullets. Yeah, Like he's been told he can do anything, and he believes in he just saw the agent do it,

why can't I do it? And like he like levels up almost like through ignorance. Wow. Yeah, Okay, you know have to admit when I was a kid, I didn't read The Phantom Told with because that name is that name is dumb. It's not the best name. But it's a great book. I literally judged a book by its cover, and I am recording it right now. Trinity, with the help of a download from Tank, takes the controls of the helicopter and pilots it down to Morpheus's level. I

wouldn't mind getting a download from Tank download into my tank anytime. He can download onto me wherever he wants. Download, upload, front load, backload, anything you want, Buddy, Open open season over here. Neo forces the agents to hide from yet another hell of bullets from the I don't know, helicopter, machine gun cannon. I don't know what this is. Somehow all of these bullets mix mis Morpheus, who is sitting tied up, handcuffed in the center of this room. Who cares? Neo manages to make all

the agents flee. I love that moment in any action movie when you have to just go, oh, who cares? Who cares? It's not important. Morpheus manages to come out of his drug stupor just enough to break his handcuffs, right like he can believe in himself that he can break the handcuffs.

He snaps the handcuffs, he sprints towards the helicopter. Just as he's about to leap, a bullet from one of the agents catches his leg and he stumbles, and Neo realizes that he's not going to make the jump, so he dies out of the helicopter, which he's attached himself to with a cable, and catches Morpheus in mid air. Trinity tries to fly away as these two are swinging in between these buildings. Like on the big screen.

This must have been fucking awesome. The agents managed to pierce the helicopter's fuel tank with a hail of bullets. Neo and Morpheus drop onto a nearby roof, and Trinity, on the other end of Neo's cable, bails from the copter just in times. It crashes into a nearby building, and in slow motion we see the impact kind of bow all the windows out, and then the glass shatters forward and it cuts to this shot of Carrie Anne Moss swinging

away from this like circular explosion of glass and slow motion. It's so cool. It's so cool. I wonder if they ever did a three D print of this movie. Oh, they must have, right, because that would have been fucking cool to see this movie in three D. They reunite and Neo tries to confess to them what the oracle told him, but Morpheus interrupts him and he says the oracle told him what he needed to know, and

he tells he says this line, which I thought was so good. He says, there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path, which, when you put that the knowledge that these writer directors were trans women in the closet at this moment in their lives or anyone in the closet, like when you know that you're gay, your trans or anything that you have to come out about. You know it for a long time before you walk it. And like that's a very interesting concept. Oh that hit, I thought.

Yeah. So the trio sprint for an exit in an abandoned subway, right they know there's a phone there that they can use to exit back right into the real world. Morpheus gets the phone exits first. Trinity and Neo are now left on the platform. There is an unhoused person looking at them, and the agents catch on to the fact that aha, there's someone in that in that room with them, and suddenly that unhoused person becomes Agent Smith.

They morph into Agent Smith, Trinity displaying perhaps the worst timing in cinema history, like don't give the woman the dumb part. Come on, yeah, come on, and you also like she doesn't need to say anything here. I guess you may want to see it again what's coming, But like we already, you have seated it already. This doesn't need to happen. I can't tell you enough how the phone is ringing ringing and ringing and ringing, and in the amount of time It takes the Trinity to to try to

say what she wants to say to Neo. I keep screaming at the screen. Wait till you're both the ship and tell him there. Why are you using this situation to confess something? Right? So, she's like, Neo, I have to tell you something that the oracle told me. Everything the oracle told me has come true, everything but this, And Neo asks but what, and Trinity's like, I can't. I can't respond. I'm going

to pick up this extraction line right now. Just as Agent Smith finally appears and fires at me, I hope you don't mind that I'm leaving you behind. Sorry. Bye. She manages to escape, right but the phone is destroyed, cutting off Neo's exits, and now Neo is stuck by himself with an agent one on one. Agent Smith calls him mister Anderson, and Trinity says, run, Neo, run. Did you immediately think run Lola? Run? Aha, Run Forest Run, Run Forest Run. It's an even

better one. To be clear, Trinity and Murphius are on the ship and they're just watching lines of code. Yeah, that's what's telling them what's happening. So we see two actors staring at lines of code on the screen going Run, Run, and then Morpheus goes he's beginning to believe yeah, and I'm like, this is this is silly. I love it, but it's silly. Yeah. Neo decides to stand his ground and fight. He's not going to run. So Neo and Smith face off in the subway tunnel.

Neo gets the worst of it, but he is holding his own. They are exchanging blows. They wind up on the subway tracks and Smith keeps referring to Neo as mister Randerson. The train starts to bear down on them, and Neo manages to overpower Smith's Chokeold earlier, we had seen Morpheus unable to stop the agent's strength, Like the Agent is physically stronger than Morpheus in the matrix, but now Neo is stronger than the agent. It's a difference,

right. He does a backflip up onto the platform and he declares, my name is Neo. Smith gets my name is Neo Smith gets hit by the train boom. Unfortunately, Smith is able to shrug off the train strike and reappears from the car when the door's open, and Neo finally takes off. He's like Okay, this guy's outclassing me. Yeah. Meanwhile, back on the ship, Squinties appear sent by the agents and they attack the Nebech and

Nezzer. The crew cannot set off the EMP. Remember that EMP. We told you to remember magnetic pulse to disable the attackers while Neo's in the matrix or else he'll die because he'll be cut off from his brain. He'll be like unplugging him essentially. Neo flees through the streets. He steals a cell phone he calls Tank directs him back to the hotel where we first met Trinity. He sprints up the stairs all the way to the room where Trinity was.

The phone is audibly ringing inside. He throws open the door and Agent Smith is there. Smith shoots Neo in the chest. Neo's in shock. Smith shoots him again. Neo stumbles back. Smith empties his gun into Neo point blank, and Neo collapses on the floor dead. The Oracle was right. End of movie and of movie. Wow, that was unexpected JK.

On the ship, Trinity finishes her confession. She goes to like Neo's body, that the physical body on the ship, and she's like the Oracle told me, I would fall in love with the man who would be the one. So you can't be dead because I love you and I believe that you are the one. Okay, Tinnity kisses Neo. They met a day ago. Really, I mean, I know she's been following him in the matrix and like looking at his code and she thinks he's cute and all. I

get it. But she met him a day ago. What if he opened his eyes and he was like, Trinity, I'm gay. I just don't see you that way. No, not even gay, not even gay. He's just like Trinity, I'm really sorry, but I just see us more as friends. Have you I don't know. Have you seen Tank? Because I want to and I think you should want to. Frank we cut the Tank in the background, just crying one loan tear. He's like, what, Trinity, I'll be with you Tank, because if he was gay,

that would make that would make it better. But it's almost worse if he's totally stranging. No, No, just to be clear, I am absolutely into women, just not you specifically you. I don't I don't care. I just it's like a sister thing with you, you know. Do you get that? Do you feel that. She just She's like, I'm kidding. I just said that. I just said that. I thought it would make you feel better. I don't even think you're the one anyway, I

gotta go. She just she like breaks into a breaks into a sweat, and like walks out back. Drew Barrymore is out the out there does whatever Drew Barrymore thinks the moon walking is out of the room, does the weird fucking dance Drew Berrymore does. She knocks over a table on the way out. She's like, never mind, I got it, trips over's corpse. Oh no, do that? So Neo in the in the Matrix, still in the Matrix, stands up as the agents turn around and shock the agents

fire their guns at him. So okay, so let me go back. I know I made a lot of fun in that scene. But basically, Trinity whispers she loves Neo into his his ear. In the real world, he physically can't hear her, and yet somehow, Neo in the Matrix feels the love of a good woman and decides this is worth fighting for and stands up against all the bullets he's just been riddled with. Erica, this is

a Jesus Christ story. You have to get on board. At a certain point, he has to die, he has to get resurrected, just like Aslan and Narnia. He gonna die and he gonna be fine. You have to buy it. This makes her Mary Magdalen fine, whatever. This is the stuff that drives me. And seeing at least the at least the man wasn't kissing the woman to bring her back to life. That's true. Hey there's something she's she's prints and he's snow white. Great cool. So okay.

So Neo, like I said, decides not to die. Who wakes up, turns around. The agents start firing their guns at him, but he suddenly can easily stop their bullets by whispering no. We see Neo from Neo's perspective that he sees the matrix only as code. It's like that scene in Terminator when the Terminator looks at people and just sees code everywhere. It is a very famous scene. So, like they're shooting and shooting, all the bullets get really slow as they approach Keanu reeves and stop in front of

him like he with his brain is just stopping them. And then he just taps one and it falls, and then all the other bullets fall, Like yeah, literally, he doesn't even have to dodge bullets anymore. He can stop them with his mind. Every X Man fan says, Jean Gray did it first, but that's okay, we'll let it go. Moving on, Paul, We're gonna let it go. So Neo dives into Agent Smith's body. Uh, no, consent given, Hot, it's a violation, but it's fierce, so I'm gonna let it go. Slay Queen Lay. The

body immediately distorts and cracks. A blinding glow spreads outwards, and Smith explodes like Neo dives into him and breaks him from the inside. I mean, you talk about deep breathing, but this is something else that. As I said it out loud, I was like, oh, hello, enter me and destroy me, my king. As long as everyone's on birth control, we're fine. We're fine, We're fine. So Neo flexes and the matrix distorts around him. The other agents are like rot row, and they fucking

flee. They run away from him. Neo hears Trinity screaming at him that he needs to get back to the ship. Somehow he can hear her in the real world. He exits the matrix, and the crew discharges the electromagnetic pulse to shake off the attackers that are attacking their ship. Neo and Trinity kiss, and we cut back to a blank computer screen. A phone rings. We hear Neo and voiceover say, oh, should you do this? Should you do this part? As Keanu? Oh? Sure, yeah,

I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us, you are afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up the phone, and then I'm gonna show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries

or shopping or people or dogs. Wait, I'm off, I'm off scratched. I'm ascribing you went. You went too a fugue state. You went to a Keano fugue. Yep, my bad, My bad. Hold on via condios. Okay, I'm back. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice. I leave to you via cone matrix. He doesn't say that last part, but I really wish he had, but he thinks it if if he had said that last part, ten out of ten for this out of ten, Yeah, Neo hangs up the

payphone. Rage against the machines. Wake up comes on as Neo takes flight into the air like Superman. Yeah. Another Jesus metaphor yep, end of the matrix. If I were Jesus, I'd feel super pissed that a bunch of people are stealing my origin story. Get your own. Things would be like, listen, bitch, this is my ip. It's my whole thing.

Do not speak The Catholic Church trying to patent the Jesus metaphor for buddy existence to existence because those assholes will do it my church, Sus Marvel, Sue C. S Lewis, everyone, DC Comics, everyone, hah, All right, stick around. We will be right back and we will give you our random observations and final rankings. After just a couple of messages and we're back Paul to all of our random observations. As k Paul's face when he says jiu jitsu really must be seen. It's so good, Paul,

What random observations do you have about this film? Uh? Okay, so they're like, we kind of glossed over a lot of the body horror stuff and the grocer stuff with You know what's so funny is I didn't even notice any body horror in this movie. You're the one as soon as I was like, oh, I guess the scorpion thing, genuinely can't think of any of the others. All of the plugs unplugging from the ports in his body and flashing around. Oh yeah, I guess. Yeah, you're right,

You're right. Totally goes over my head. I don't even see it. That video did its job. You're like, nothing, nothing can upset me anymore. Absolutely nothing will. Well, we'll supplant the image of a human placenta falling out of a human woman in real time when I was thirteen. So there's this line when Morpheus is explaining, like what's going on basically,

and they say this line over like the shot a baby. I'm sure it's a c GI baby, And the baby is like freshly born, and it has like a tube down its throat and all of these tubes in it, and Morpheus says, they liquefy the dead to feed them intravenously to the living. This is disgusting on a level. The movie just simply didn't need this. This is gratuitously disgusting. Although maybe you know, in a way, if you want to think of it in like a in like a philosophical way,

it's a it's a form of rebirth. Like, no one really truly dies if they are then used to feed and create another life. Sure, very very The Lion King your favorite movie, Yeah, he becomes the grass, and the antelopes eat the grass, and then we eat the antelopes, and then when we die, our bodies become the grass. It's a it's the circle of life. Pulse soilent, Green is people Okay anyway, Uh,

it's a cheeseball line, but I love it. The first time Neo meets Trinity, he remember she was a famous hacker in the real in the Matrix, I suppose, and he meets her and he goes, you're I thought you were a guy, as she goes most guys do. Yeah, great line, and it reminded me of hackers. Once again, when he meets Angelina Jolie and he's like, I forget what her handle was and he's

like, that's so and so holy shit. Yeah. In the car in the beginning, Switch calls Keanu Reeves copper top, and I was like, why is she calling him copper top? Because I'd forgotten the whole idea of this of this movie. At first, he very clearly has dark hair, and then I realized, Oh, it's she's calling him a battery. Oh, and I was like, that's actually very very clever. And I just really I thought that was a great line. Wow, that is it.

I did not clock that and all I actually noticed that in that line too, and I thought it was a reference to a snake. Yeah, And I was like, I don't get why she's calling him a snake, and I kind of just let it go and moved on, moved on. There's one like anachronism in the movie that really drives me insane. I can't remember who says it. I want to say it's Cipher because it feels like the most appropriate come from him. Neo does something. He gets he gets into

this, you know, the training program. He's really good at it. And someone says, hey, Mikey, I think he likes it. Yeah, that is a commercial from the early eighties that they are referencing in this film. Oh, that is a good point. That is from nineteen ninety nine, which even in nineteen ninety nine would have seemed really weird if someone were to say that line. But it's actually twenty one ninety nine, just weird. All Mikey likes it, lasted. That is a piece of pop

culture ephemera that has made It's made the journey. It has been in countless movies, countless. Yeah, I think it like when I like something I haven't tried to be like, Oh, Mikey likes it like, that's immediate thought. Ah, something I absolutely love in fight choreography. And I want to be very clear to all the fight choreographers out there listening. I do

not mean this in any way as a negative. What I'm about to say careful because I am in the fight choreographer union, and if whatever you say gets me kicked out of that union, I'm gonna be very upsetting, be furious. I don't worry. I want to be very clear. This is

a compliment. But when bullets are flying in the dozens and the person the hero chooses to do like a cartwheel round off through the bullets, as if that somehow makes them smaller and harder to hit when they're just spraying dozens of bullets the general area of this person, and they have Kiana do it in slow motion in the duster. Yes, he's extra. It's like, okay, sure, Jan never change. More cartwheels, More gymnastics from heroes,

Please gymnastics in the face of bullets. Simone Biles cannot be struck by bullets. I don't know if you know that, it's impossible. It's impossible. She turns, she turns a pam Chenko and suddenly she's immune to bullets. I just have one more. It's just one of the funniest I don't know if it's an ad lib. I don't know if it's in the script. It is an extra who says it. So at one point, Neo steals some guy's phone to talk, like on the cell phone right to like to

talk to Tank or Trinity or something. And the guy who's on the phone that he steals is in the middle of a conversation, a man in a business suit, and he just goes yep, flats or pumps, and then Neo takes his phone and he goes, hey, my phone and I'm like, can we get back to the flats or pumps? Guy? Was that fact? Same thought? What was what was that conversation about? Was he ordering shoes? Was he asking his partner to wear flats? And or?

But like, like, what's the shoe where you're gonna wear to this event tonight? Because I need you to look hot? Are you wearing flats or pumps? I want desperately for that to have been an ad lib. Yeah, sure, flats or pumps works. Let's move on. Aha, we don't have time to refilm this. Yeah, there's I just have one more too. It's during the fight in the subway between between Agent Smith and Neo. At one point Neo punches and it's in profile, right, so you

have you have Hugo Weaving's profile. He catches Keanu Reeves's wrist and Keanu Reeves's fingers just do this boop and they poke out. He goes from like rock to paper, incisors and Agent Smith you're be weaving us to go. But yeah, like he got finger jabbed in the throat. It is so funny and excellent. No notes again, fight choreographers, none of these are changed anything. Keep all of it Erica. How should we rank? How should we rank the matrix? One to ten barrels of ky jelly, So many

were used, so many. One to ten. Carrie Anne Moss's ass just singing, just singing in the breeze. Carrie Anne Moss's ass is taking over for a Dell in her Las Vegas residency. She is, yeah, yeah, that is the kind of voice, the liquid tones. Carrie Anne Moss's ass will be singing at the next presidential inauguration. Yeah. Carry Anne Moss's ass was just booked as the next Super Bowl halftime show. It will be

performing a medley of the greatest hits of all decades. Yep, yep, yeah carry Carrie and Carrie An Moss's ass is going on tour with Taylor Swift in Europe as we see Yeah, and Taylor Swift is opening for the ass. Yekay, that's the twist. Yes. One to ten hot computer hackers, uncomfortably hot computer hackers, computer hackers who also are underwear models in their spare time, because that's what all computer hackers look like. How about one to ten I know kung fu, one to ten jiu jitsu, I know

jiu jitsu. Yes, I'm gonna learn ju jitsu jitsu. We should do this fun because we're both delighted by it. Yeah. Uh, do you want to go first? Or shall I go first this one? Why don't you go first on this one? Oh? Okay? Overall, I think the movie ages pretty well. Does not pass the Bechdel test sadly because the Oracle never speaks. Really, the Oracle never speaks to Trinity, and Trinity and Switch probably exchange lines, but like in a group, they never have

like a solo scene together. So I don't know if you're gonna let that go. Damn, I did not catch it. This is not past the Bechdel test. O Mother's Month, for goodness sake, for God's sake. Now Eric is giving it a zero. I never said anything but good, good, great character for Trinity. I think the Oracle only has one scene, and I think that I think that's a good character. Like I think Gloria Foster did a great job with it. Switches is less fleshed out as

all, like Red Shirts tend to be. I think the crew could have been more have a lot more gender diversity in it. You don't need like seven men and two women, like come on, That's it's pretty obvious. Keep Tank though, Let's get real, Yeah, keep Tank, Come on now, why couldn't you've had a sister? Sorry Dozer again, you were also quite hot. As far as racial diversity goes, pretty good. Like Laurence Fishburne is a black man. Famously, apparently Will Smith was actually approached

to play Neo first. It would have been extremely diverse if Will Smith had taken the role. I could see him making it work. I mean, I love Keanu so much, though I can't yeah, I can't imagine anyone, but ke Keanu was perfect. And Keanu is of Chinese Hawaiian descent too, so you know he's not a solely Caucasian man. As far as the queer stuff goes, there's actually kind of like nothing other than all of the

subtext. But all of the subtext is pretty there. And we obviously know who directed this now, And I think I think the trans identity really comes through in the whole movie, just the idea of trying to break free of the bounds that you were born into and trying to see like what is real and what actually isn't real? Yeah, and and and like finding yourself in that is I am not trans, but from from my discussions with trans people that I think that that would resonate a great deal for them. Yeah.

Well, and also the Wakowskis were born in the sixties. Yeah, they're in their fifties now. Like being trans when you're you know, in the seventies eighties, and like that's a different experience, I think than even than even now being trans. Like, yeah, to truly think about a world in which like you're able to be full of yourself must have seemed incredibly revolutionary. And I know we talked about this last thing a little bit off,

Mike. The only other thing that kind of doesn't age super well is how much gun violence there is in the movie. Yeah, and we can say that by and also say there's pretty much no like like blood in the movie. Really like Laurence Fishburne's getting beaten and has some cuts on his face and like, but like when when they shoot the agent and when Trinity shoots the agent, it's not like there's blood spray or anything like that. So it's

it's very video game cartoonish kind of violence. But truly in the siege on the skyscraper up until they rescue Morpheus. The number of bullets that are fired in this movie is ludicrous, and and if anyone is sensitive to that, I think would be triggering. I think it's it's fair to say. But other than that, I think it actually ages quite well overall, and I think it's really interesting, and I think it's better. It's better than I

remembered it being because it makes more sense. It all makes sense to me now. I now quite confident I can explain the matrix to people. Except for that one thing about Agent Smith hating it that one doesn't and whatever the neo that is beyond us. I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give it an eight good. I'm going to give it an eight out of ten. I know, Kung Food, how about you. I'm gonna be a little

harder on the gun violence shocking than you were. I think I genuinely didn't notice the fact that it doesn't pass the Bechdel test until after until you said it, and I'm like, fuck, that really sucks. But there are some very good female characters in the film, and in terms of diversity, it's one of the best movies we've ever covered. Like, yeah, absolutely looks like what the world looks like except that everyone's a super hot computer programmer.

But the gun violence is I actually, this is what it's gonna sound weird to you. I would have preferred if there had been blood splatter and there had been viscera because the gun violence, that, this kind of gun violence kind of gets under my skin because it is so it kind of disengages guns actual violence and makes it seem like the world is a video game.

Look, movies are not responsible for society, of course, whether or not how how children or even adults choose to interpret the images they see is not on the filmmaker at all. But it does still kind of like it makes me feel really disengaged to the story because all I can think about is that. And also I question, I question whether or not that's a that's a good for society when when gun violence is so taken out of the realm of

reality and is turned into like a ballet essentially, get that. And most times it doesn't bother me. And we've discussed this many times. I love violence. I actually enjoy violence in movies. I think it's a there's a there's a cathartic experience with violence that you get it elevates things, it makes things operatic, but I think there still has to be like some level of

consequence Otherwise eight it gets boring because there's no stakes to the film. Which I'm not saying that's what happens in this one, but it can get boring. And b it does that thing where it sort of like desensitizes you so much to gun violence that may not be a net positive on society. Yeah, it's a hard one to judge. Man, I love this movie. I've really enjoyed watching it. You gave it an eight, I did. I'm going to give it a seven, Okay, I'm gonna give a seven

out of ten. All I know Kung Fus. It is in a way us who has aged poorly and not the film. Sure, and that's it's not the film's fault, but I do want to acknowledge that this was a moment in his Like this, this movie has an outsized responsibility to society that it does not deserve but it is. But it does have because it is the matrix. It is one of those movies that changed cinema. I'm not offering a palate cleanser because A I think everyone's seen this movie already, We've

been hard pressed to find a listener who's never seen this movie. My mom has not seen it, and I suspect she will continue to not see it after this. Oh fair enough. My mother is not a listener, but I bet she hasn't seen this all right, So if you are listening, you can follow us on the social media's. We're on Instagram, We're on Twitter, we're on threads. We have a tea public shop. Uh. If you're a Spotify user, you can keep a lookout for questions polls about

these episodes. And we would love it if you would leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts or on any podcasting platform that you use. If you do that, just like Lindsey okay from the top of this episode, you let us know that you did, and we will send you a that aged Well tote bag. That Aged Well is produced and edited by Paul Keola, who knows kung fu, jujitsu, jiujitsu. I'm gonna learn jiujitsu.

It doesn't get old. We would like to thank Sidney, Sonny in a Patty, Brian, Marissa, and John for reaching out and letting us know what they want to hear. If you want to have a say in the topics we discussed, you can join our patreon. Every patron gets to vote in an exclusive monthly poll to determine one of our subjects. So head on over to patreon dot com slash that aged Well podcast to find out more. Speaking of the Patreon, some tears on it come with thanks from a podcast

character. Today we are hearing from the Mistress of murder, the Duchess of deception, Missus White from clue Well Well, Well, here we are again more of your fun little games. I got your note and all the accusations therein, so I'm here once again to prove my innocence. I'm so sorry, Missus White. I think there may be some confusion. We weren't accusing you of anything. Oh, of course, not you writing that. You're

positively gagging to have me thank Parker for being a patron. Had absolutely nothing to do with my ninth husband, park Parker, expiring in a tragic ballgag incident. Your ninth husband's name was park Parker. Of course, park Parker was the sole heir to the Scotch Bright Sponge fortune. Oh well, I'm so sorry. I had no idea he died that way. Well, I find that hard to believe, since all you would need to do is a simple search for local millionaire found dead with lifelike dildo in his mouth. I've

heard your podcast. You expect me to believe you don't have a Google alert for life like dildo. Missus White, I think I'm confused. Your husband had a life like dildo in his mouth. But first you said it was a ballgag incident. Correct on all counts. In any case, I'm here and I shall discharge my responsibility to be certain you can slay no more mud in my good name. Thank you Parker for being a patron of that aged well. Always remember another day, another husband, and she's gone in the

mist. She almost she just disappears, she fades away. What a gorgeous black dress, though she really, she really does have style for a murderous for someone who should be on the FBI's most Wanted list. Enough husbands wind up dead, you think it should just be noticed? Right? You know what some husbands are like? Cleanex soft, strong and disposable. All right, Erica, any final thoughts on the matrix? I think we both know what I'm gonna say, Paul, is it going to be jiu jitsu.

I'm gonna learn jujitsu. No. I was going to talk more about watching that woman give birth, but you know what, if it feels wrong, now never mind, never mind. In the club, Trinity approaches Neil Neil, I keep Neil. Neil makes it way less cool. Most cool name that it might be Neil. I had a crushing a guy named Neil once. I have a very good friend named Neil. He's a lovely person. Yeah, but still, Neil. Neil is a pretty lame name. Sorry,

Neils. Yeah, Neil's everywhere. We love you, but sorry, man, it's enough hill climb, It's that meal