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Feed Drop: Sex Ed with DB - 13 Going On 30

May 21, 202547 min
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Episode description

Paul recently got to sit down with Danielle Bezalel from the fantastic Sex Ed with DB podcast to talk all about the Jennifer Garner classic 13 Going On 30! DB and Paul talk about the ethics of age-gap romance when time travel is involved, and why 2000s films were so obsessed with pitting women against each other. Plus: dollhouses, dream jobs, and whether Matty is actually too good for Jenna! Give it a listen and check out DB on all platforms!

ABOUT SEX ED WITH DB:
Sex Ed with DB is your go-to podcast for smart, science-backed sex education—delivering trusted insights from top experts on sex, sexuality, and pleasure. Empowering, inclusive, and grounded in real science, it’s the sex ed you’ve always wanted.

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Transcript

Speaker 1

Hey, listeners, fun little feed drop for you here. I got to join Danielle Bezeleel or dB as her friends call her, to talk about the Aughts classic thirteen going on thirty on her special series rom Com Bomb. Now look, I know a lot of you like thirteen going on thirty. Don't worry. This doesn't mean that Eric and I will never cover it on the main feed. Think of this as an operatif for the eventual main feed episode that we will. We will definitely do it. So let me

tell you about dB. dB is the host of sex Ed with dB. That is a feminist podcast bringing you all the sex said you never got in high school. And listeners, I know you didn't get it because I didn't get it. And if I didn't get it, you didn't get it. That's how this works. We all got our sex ed from our friends and porn, neither of which are reliable. But dB centers diverse experts in the field. She wants everyone, everyone to have comprehensive, inclusive, pleasure centered,

medically accurate sex education. Now look, Erica and I we do a lot of talking about We do a lot of advice giving about sex. We do a lot of joking about sex. I'm pretty sure we would both say that medical accuracy is not our forte, but for dB it is. She's gonna give you medical accuracy. And she's also, get this, a pleasure expert. And I think we could all use anything that would up our pleasure.

Speaker 2

In the current world.

Speaker 1

We all deserve a little more pleasure that you know what that is, listeners, dear listeners, That is, as Janet Jackson might say, the pleasure principle. So please enjoy this episode. I'm thirteen, going on thirty, and then check out all of DB's work and Erica and I will see you right back here on Monday. It's one other thing about the movie, and that is the line, do you want to see my ID?

Speaker 2

Totally have it?

Speaker 3

I totally have it. Welcome to rom Combomb, a sex Said with dB podcast series where in every episode we go under the covers with a beloved rom com, strip away its hidden toxic messages and rewrite the script on love and sex. We talk a lot about sex education, but when I'm shopping for products to support my sexual wellness, exploration, and expression, I head to the experts at lions Den. Lion's Den is a pleasure product retailer with over fifty

locations nationwide and hundreds of your favorite brands. They have everything you need to explore and express your sexual side right now. You can use code sexed with dB for fifteen percent off your purchase in store and online at Lionsden dot com. Follow them on social media at Lionsden Adult, on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive offers, deals and giveaways. What if I told you that I did a masturbation experiment with the Magic Wand and the results were incredible.

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Stay tuned for those results soon. Want to see how else the Magic Wand impacted me positively, go to sexididb dot com slash Magic Wand experiment to learn more. When you're traveling, you don't have access to your amazing sex goodies stash, so you start to pack your lube for sexy time in your toiletry bag and when you open your bag back up, the loube you packed, of course, spills all over your toothbrush, makeup and floss picks. Enter a brand new product from uberloub that will get your

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welcome back to another episode of romcombomb. I am your host, dbe, sex educator, pleasure expert, and romcom critic, and today we are jumping into sparkly eyeshadow, questionable age gaps, and the fantasy of fast forwarding puberty in thirteen going on thirty. I am so excited, beautiful listener, that you are here and here to help us dissect thirteen going on thirty is the hilarious and thoughtful Paul Koa co host of the podcast That Aged Dwell, where he and co host

Erica Vialba challenged the movies they grew up on. So perfect fit that you're here today.

Speaker 4

Welcome Paul, How are you?

Speaker 2

Thank you? Applause, applause, applause. I'm here.

Speaker 1

I'm ready to get into this movie that I've loved for years without ever really rewatching.

Speaker 2

So it was quite it was it was fun to do it this way.

Speaker 3

Oh my god, I'm so excited that you're here. I feel like thirteen going on thirty is such an iconic film that most everybody in the world question Mark has seen if they have existed in.

Speaker 2

Our So funny.

Speaker 1

I was talking to my co host Erica, and in our show, she is the horror fan and I am the rom com fan. Oh okay, so she has she will not see rom coms, so I will, like, outside of like when Harry met Sally or something, she hasn't seen them, so she hasn't seen this movie.

Speaker 2

And I was like, oh no, I wish you could come on.

Speaker 1

She's she's just can't, she's busy, she's she's fine, she'll be on our show on Monday. But I was like, you would actually like this one, I think, right, she's very like questioning the tropes of the genre, which is what we're here to do.

Speaker 4

Exactly, That's precisely what we're here to do.

Speaker 3

Yeah, and here is a little trivia teaser that we are going to start with that we will give more inform later. But several members of the Six Chicks aka the Click in this film that bullies Jenna in middle school, that Tom Tom aka adult Lucy is in went on to achieve major stardom. So stick around to find out who out of the Six Chicks did besides Judy Greer of course, well obviously obviously. So yeah, wait, and to stick around, and you're going to be very surprised, Paul, I'm sure you are.

Speaker 2

I am going to be surprised. I genuinely don't know. This is very exciting.

Speaker 4

This is unclear to me.

Speaker 1

You are a pleasure expert. This is exactly what I wanted I got here.

Speaker 4

Thank you so much.

Speaker 3

What is your relationship to this film? Tell me about when you first saw it, what's your feeling behind it?

Speaker 4

Tell me everything?

Speaker 1

All right, Well, I was an Alias fan, loved Alias so Garner, Jennifer Garner. You know she's making her leap to movie stardom with this, right, and it comes out and it gets good reviews. I remember, I remember the Entertainment Weekly review was very positive. Oh I'm sure Mark Ruffalo was our little like theater kid from New York who was like a huge star in theater and he was going to make it big and he got his glow up and became like this romantic lead. Yes, and

he and of course Judy Greeer. I mean, oh my god, we always love Judy Greear.

Speaker 4

She needs she needs more credit. I have to tell you. She is in everything, and she especially.

Speaker 1

In everything, and she never misses never, never once has missed, not one. Yeah, so I this came out. I absolutely went to see it in the theater with friends, loved it, maybe saw it one more time, and then have not watched it since two thousand and four and always just have had my fond memories of being.

Speaker 2

Like thirteen going on thirty. What what a hoot?

Speaker 3

Right? Yes, so this is again this podcast is perfect for you because essentially we're trying to rewire our brains here. You know, this came out in twenty four, twenty one years ago.

Speaker 4

There was a lot of.

Speaker 3

Norms then that we you know, took as just this is how it is, and we're here in our you know, twenties, thirties, forties, fifties and beyond to refresh kind of what exactly it is, what kind of message is to be received from these films, And so I'm glad we're going to unpack them.

Speaker 1

Yeah, And I also love when we look at these films on our podcast too, and you can almost say like, oh, this was progressive, right They Like Friends in nineteen ninety four was progressive. It won glad Award. It was really great for the gay community for what we could get right back then exactly. But now, whoops, you know, it doesn't age so well exactly.

Speaker 3

You're the premise of your show, And dear listener, here's a quick refresh if you are like Paul and you haven't seen this film in twenty plus years. So in thirteen going on thirty, awkward teen, Jenna Rink wishes to be thirty, flirty and thriving when she is bullied by the Six Chicks and she doesn't get to kiss her middle school sweetie and she wakes up in her adult body with no memory of how she got there, and with the help from her dear long lost childhood bestie

Matt aka Mark Ruffalo. She tries to undo the mistakes of her grown up, meaniral life and find her way back to who she really is, and of course adult Jenna Rink is beautiful Jennifer Garner. She's just stunning in this film, so just so cute it hurts me personally.

Speaker 1

Absolutely, she's so It's really interesting what they do because like the obvious comp for this movie is big, and in big, what happens is Tom Hanks starts out acting like a ten or eleven year old whoever old he isn't that movie, and he matures so like kinded. By the end, he realizes he's missing childhood. He wants to go back to childhood because he's acting like an adult. They don't do that here, which I think is a fascinating choice.

Speaker 3

Really interesting.

Speaker 2

Get uses to act like an adult now.

Speaker 3

And that's what's so charming, is like she is such a thirteen year old girl in a Jennifer Garner body, which kind of lends itself to some problemsal issues, but I guess, okay, So our next segment is called as a kid, and you know I was a child when this film came out twenty one years ago. I was eleven or twelve, and I guess in terms of one word that really describes my relationship to this film. As a kid, it was kind of like ooh, just like

goal goals, hashtag goals. I think, like, you know, I was Jenner Nk's teenage age almost and like didn't really like wish to be thirty as a teen, but I thought that her life looked so glamorous as this, Like yeah, and she does too, right, She's like, I'm a full time magazine editor. Like she loves her apartment, she's like beautiful,

she's sweet, she got every you know. She looks in the earbook and she's like I got everything I ever wanted, right, And it just feels like, oh wow, this is so great.

Speaker 4

So I just feel like that's that's my one word. What would your one word be?

Speaker 1

Oh wow, this is I don't mean this to be a cop out, but thriller. That is That is my Because I was a bit older than you, I am and I still am.

Speaker 2

To this day, I'm still older than you.

Speaker 1

Because so I saw this actually having just graduated college in New York. I went to NYU, so like it was. It was still aspirational, but it was also like I knew that that's not what my apartment was going to look like in six years. Like that was that wasn't going to happen, and that was okay. I wasn't angry at it, but like, like the struggling photographer is in like a four bedroom in the West.

Speaker 5

Village, right, but like charming, I guess charming more than thriller, like just a full scale charm offensive from Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo and really the two of them.

Speaker 1

Everyone else kind of gets to be a little villainous, right for the most part. But that's what I remember being charmed.

Speaker 4

Yes, except for her.

Speaker 3

Boss, who's not villainous. He's just like funny and.

Speaker 1

Silly, and everyone thinks he's just British, but he's actually gay, which is a great thing at the end, surprisingly, and he's.

Speaker 2

Gollum, but he's Gollumn exactly. He's gone.

Speaker 3

He also is like the villain in the Black Panther movie, which is crazy.

Speaker 4

You're like, whoa he has range?

Speaker 2

Does?

Speaker 3

He's Richard in this film he's talking about his balls getting squished in a vault, like he's the comedic guy. I think in this film absolutely and in terms you kind of mentioned thriller. But I am curious, like, is that we ask everyone what's scene to find this movie for you? Would you say it's the thriller? Tell me about the thriller scene if that's what it is, or if you.

Speaker 2

Haven't it was the thriller scene.

Speaker 1

But what's funny is that I didn't remember anything about the lead up to it. I didn't remember that it was at like this corporate event that she was trying to throw and she was trying to save the event by doing the thriller dance, because that's what a thirteen year old would do, right from nineteen eighty seven, we're doing that situation. Like, I didn't remember any of that. I just remember Jennifer Garner doing this dance.

Speaker 2

I didn't. I couldn't even have said that.

Speaker 1

Mark Ruffalo was in it. I didn't like Jenner. I could have told you about the dress. It has like these stripes on the bottom and this third like lime green tops. Their boobs are pushed up. She has having fun with her boobs the whole movie exactly. It's that scene. And it's one other thing about the movie. And that is the line, do you want to see my id?

Speaker 2

Totally have it?

Speaker 3

I totally have it. I do love I mean it's classic. She plays that thirteen year old so well. And yeah,

I also agree. I'm sure that the most iconic scene in the film is the thriller scene, especially because in two thousand and four, Michael Jackson was not fully canceled yet he was not known as a predator, and so people could still enjoy his music without feeling guilty, and like, you know, looking at that scene, it feels like, you know, oh wow, thriller which came out in the eighties in this with this iconic choreography, really was something so unique

and so different. And it's funny how you know, almost twenty years later people are still like loving this and even now I wonder, you know, twenty years after that, what that would look like like if people would still be going to events and doing the thriller dance, and like what that.

Speaker 1

Would be like or what would be the dance in two thousand and seven, Like like, what is is there a new thriller?

Speaker 2

I don't know if there is.

Speaker 4

I mean it's TikTok dances for sure.

Speaker 3

I guess, Yeah, but yeah, I think that in terms of what you were saying before about this movie being charming, you know, like, what what do you think works about this film? What do you like about it before we of course tear to shreds.

Speaker 1

Absolutely well, a couple of things. I like the fact that it is not solely about the romance. The romantic plot is it's a solid part of the film, not saying it's not a big part, but like it is more about Jenna's internal journey of realizing, hey, maybe I shouldn't be an asshole when out thirteen.

Speaker 3

Dick, she's such an asshole?

Speaker 1

Yeah, as an adult, don't fossilize into a dick, right, Like you know, like, look, we were all assholes at times when we were thirteen, most assuredly, but like, you have to evolve. And I think it's very funny that she does not evolve, and neither do the other two people that we track through the timeline. It's like those people are frozen in time and they keep the same personalities.

And I have this like theory because of course, it's like there's magic in this right, it's the Aultar machine in Big Yeah, yeah exactly, And I'm like, well, is this just a hallucination? Is this entire thing actually a hallucination? Because everybody is the exact same person and Lucy is not like given any depth of character, which is fine because she's played by Judy Greer and she's so funny and I love her and I don't care.

Speaker 2

But like a in a for.

Speaker 1

Lack of a better term, deeper movie, sure it would have been interesting if there was maybe she had two good friends, Maddie and a girl, and we got to see also her relationship with a female best friend or something like that, because the movie is so focused on these really the relationship Maddie and to a lesser extent, the relationship with Lucy, and how they're benefiting or not benefiting Jenna as in her development.

Speaker 3

Right, that's a good point. And yeah, I think that, you know, he Mark Rufflo does kind of have this monologue when he's about to get married at the end to Wendy.

Speaker 4

Justice for Wendy, honestly, like she.

Speaker 5

Was kind of kind of annoying, she did nothing, but she did nothing wrong, Like we did deserve that, we meant.

Speaker 3

To hate her, but you know, he's kind of like, you know, I moved on, you moved on you know, that's her family down there, like I care about her, and he's that monologue is very refreshing. I really liked that monologue because I feel like, clearly, you know, they share a kiss, which.

Speaker 6

Is you know, he kind of cheated on his fiance but yeah, not great, but he kind of admits to like, you know, I have been feeling things these last few weeks, and I've you know, I've always loved you, and like, you know, I have to be honest, but like this is the reality is like we are different people now, and so yeah, I did kind of like that, And.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I think so much works about this film. I think the fact that it is magic. You know, a lot can happen in a fantasy world. And so first of all, the soundtrack fucking slaps you.

Speaker 1

Put pap Benatarna soundtrack, and I will watch the movie hands down, hands down.

Speaker 2

I will watch ticular.

Speaker 3

I love like, you know, she's like obsessed with Madonna and she's a teen obviously, and she's like, I know Madonna, Madonna, like write a note to her. It's just like very sweet. It's again like that goals feeling of like when you're a young kid and all the things that you want to happen to you. It's so glamorous in this like

magazine world and you know, there's New York City. It's like, it's just so fun that I think, like, yeah, the whole film is very sweet, and I think, yeah, like you said, the relationship that she and Maddie have it is kind of like a solid part of the film, but it's more about her self discovery to becoming a better version of herself as an adult.

Speaker 1

Yeah. And it's also it's not she doesn't get Maddie at the end of the magic part, which she would not have earned, and that I think would have been really hard to stomach as an adult watching it for various reasons.

Speaker 2

But like, I like that exactly.

Speaker 1

The speech you were talking about where he's like, no, this isn't this isn't real. R, what's happening here?

Speaker 5

Right?

Speaker 1

And which was which I thought was a nice thing in a rom.

Speaker 3

Com, Right, And like you said, maybe that is maybe the whole movie kind of in between the party scenes was an illusion or some kind of thing. But then I am very confused. We have to talk about it. It's very confusing mechanics. She goes back to her thirteen year old self. She kisses Maddie and exits her front door, and then she's the one that's marrying Maddie. Yeah, what do you think story wise happened there? Did she like, did she skip everything?

Speaker 1

Or I think it's a I think it's a movie vocabulary for she didn't become an asshole. She lived her life and she actually eventually was a lucky person who like met their soulmate when they were thirteen, and they actually belonged together exactly.

Speaker 2

That's what I took with the Razzles. Yes, with the Wrastles.

Speaker 3

I love that the Razzles was also like its own character in the film. I feel like good for Razzles for that company.

Speaker 2

Yeah, is that a real thing. I didn't even know. It's never even heard of.

Speaker 3

You should go to a bodega and grab this week. That's your homework. Okay, we need to get to the rating before the rewatch, So I asked you to rate the film before the rewatch. We can compare our pre and postwatch ratings, but let's go over the rom com bomb rating system first. So it's one to.

Speaker 4

Five bombs, one bomb. You know, this is my big fact. Greek wedding.

Speaker 3

This is like it's dated, but I love to watch it every year and it's so good and there's like barely anything wrong with it.

Speaker 4

It's amazing.

Speaker 3

Still would recommend it, still on my list all the way to five bombs, which is shallow, how right, it's full body cringe? Did not age well, you know, terrible mega yikes. Often it's you know, homophobia, xenophobia, fat phobia. We're talking everything in there that's bad, bad, bad. What did you rate the film before the rewatch?

Speaker 1

Well, let Danielle, let me tell you when you when you gave me this assignment, the look on my face what I was trying to remember if they slept together?

Speaker 3

But just as absolutely thirteen year old self.

Speaker 1

Yes, just because again my reference is big and they do a big do. Poor Elizabeth Perkins ends that movie having to drive off into the sunset screaming forever, like she never gets.

Speaker 2

To stop the car because she slept the year old.

Speaker 1

Yeah, in her defense, she did not know that, but like there were clues, you know. But so I'm sitting there, I'm like, I am ninety percent sure that they don't sleep together, because because I remembered that, I was like I know, like he has a girlfriend or like he's leaving or something, and I remember that he I remember that she didn't get him at the end in the first in the first excuse me, in the first ending of the.

Speaker 4

Film, right in the first version.

Speaker 1

Yes, yeah, So I was like, I I don't think they slept together. So I'm like, all right, we still have some weirdness with like the thirteen year old thing, but I'm gonna confidently say a two.

Speaker 3

Ooh, very good. I think a two is very appropriate. I honestly think I gave it like a one point five because I was like, I've seen, you know, I've probably watched this film every few years, like again, it has like a very like special place in my heart. I like knew about the age gap, but it wasn't really sure like how icky it would be. So I was like, that's probably the main thing that's wrong with the film. And come to see, we're kind of right

in this, you know. I mean, like, let's transition now to the main part of the show called That's Problematic, where we go through a few buckets of things that you know, to your point about your podcast just didn't quite age well. Yeah, and the first thing is the age gap. So Jenna is technically a thirteen year old

in the mind navigating the adult world. And there are some moments it's right where she's kind of like seducing Lucy's trying to get her to seduce a man at the bar, and then she actually goes for like the thirteen year old boy. So it's like in her head she's thirteen, but in her body she's Jennifer Garner.

Speaker 4

So that was really weird.

Speaker 3

And then, you know, because she's mentally in middle school, we're kind of meant to think, like, oh, she's it's just cute because she is like a little girl who

doesn't know. But obviously Maddie doesn't know the magic that has occurred, and in his reality, she's just an adult, and so you know, they're kind of pining after each other while she is this thirteen year old mentally, and you know, it kind of I find this to be problemoutic because it kind of blurs these lines around, like consent and maturity in a way that like isn't there's not even a line about it, you know, like they're not the the writers are not cueuing the audience in

to know that they know that it's kind of weird, right.

Speaker 1

And I think it's so funny to watch the film and watch them like kind of learn the lessons a big right, Like because I think they're.

Speaker 3

Really because it is similar.

Speaker 1

Like they're really trying to make it okay without like you say, they don't really acknowledge it, but like you know, she has a boyfriend. Older Jenna has a boyfriend, and at one point they have him do a strip tease and again he has no idea that that like he for all he knows, everything is fine. This is the woman I slept with last night. It's totally normal, right, So hockey player, boyfriend, innocent and all of this, but like he's doing the strip teas and they have her

like being very embarrassed as a thirteen year old. Absolutely would as I would be at forty five if someone did this for me. Yeah, so fair enough. But like I think it's funny because like he'll start to kiss her and she almost acts like she doesn't know where

it's going. And I'm like, I'm growing concerned about the sex education provided by the high school that Jenna is attending her the middle school, like she should's it should be Oh yeah, she should have a baseline idea of where this is going, and if she doesn't want it to go there, she could just say no, I'm I have a headache or something. I understand. Of course, she's thirteen.

She doesn't understand she has these options to her, and they are trying to make it funny exactly, and to their credit, they don't fail at making.

Speaker 2

Some of it funny. Yeah.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, when she hits on that kid, I was like, I forgot that part.

Speaker 2

That's funny.

Speaker 4

So yeah, she's the same.

Speaker 1

And Jennifer Garner's like acting physically like a thirteen year old and it's it's funny in this she's so funny and like she makes friends with the thirteen year old girl that lives next door to her, and like she gets a group of thirteen year old girlfriends and like they're the way she tells about her.

Speaker 2

The sleepover is hilarious.

Speaker 1

Yeah, So it's it's really interesting because they they learned the lessons big enough that they were able to kind of smooth over a lot of the rocky parts with humor. Right, But that doesn't mean the parts aren't rocky, It just means like they made them go down easier.

Speaker 3

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Speaker 4

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Speaker 4

Okay.

Speaker 3

So we went over the age gap. Let's go over the trope that's like quote not like other girls, right Like, this is kind of a classic romcom trope that's, you know, typically in films like this that are very white, very skinny, very straight, like el Woods kind of falls into this trope of like I'm I'm a smart blonde, I'm not like the other Harvard girls, right, Like there are so many women around this time right where she's framed as special, But in this case, it's because she's a kid, right.

Speaker 4

She likes Razzles.

Speaker 3

Her, you know, Maddie, her childhood best friend. Like, you know, it's just very much it's very childish. Where like other women in the film, like Lucy for example, Judy Greer our Queen, she is portrayed as competitive and manipulative and shallow and even young Jenna wants to be like, you know, cool and like the six Chicks. But ultimately, the lesson that we learn is that, like those girls are mean

and that's fake and that's bad. But I think that the problem here in lies where it's kind of does this classic rom com thing where it kind of pits women against each other and like upholds the idea of like you know, the manic pixie dream girl kind of thing, or you know, being quirky or like silly or offbeat kind of makes you better than other women and more desirable.

Speaker 1

Uh yes, And I think that's another thing that really could have been helped if she had had a female friend as well as Maddie, Like so you could have seen like another relationship. Because it's fine to have a female villain, that's fine. It's just like if that's the only it's either your thirteen year old who hasn't crystallized into an asshole, or you're an asshole, like.

Speaker 2

The only two options.

Speaker 1

And like, look, you know, her assistant seems lovely, right, and she's you know, she's so sweet and and that's kind of it as far as female representation. You know, it's funny. There's I don't know if you notice this. There's a woman who played I think her name is Polly. She's like with them a lot, and I was like, that woman looks really familiar. And she's Susan Egan, who was the original Bell and Beauty and the Beast on Broadway.

And I finally figured out why I knew her, and I was like, I wonder if she had a lot more to do in some version of the script because she's not she's not nobody that's playing this role, and she really has like half a line, but she pops up all the time.

Speaker 3

Yeah, okay, and she's very yeah, very cute.

Speaker 4

I love that haircut.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and I'm like, I wonder if that could have just been someone, cause she would have been at the right age to be like. She also traveled with them right into the future or something, and she, you know, Polly Young was just friends with Maddy and Jenna and she and she and Naddie were cool and Jenna Knna wasn't you know, Like, I mean, Natty at thirteen might be cooler than I am. Now he has the confidence to all the talking heads, oh I know, a middle school party.

Speaker 3

You haven't even talked about. The house that he makes for her, Oh yeah, Oh my god. He makes her this beautiful dollhouse at thirteen that's an exact replica of her home. And it's so sweet and just like the cutest thing that a boy could ever do for a girl that he has.

Speaker 4

A crush on.

Speaker 2

Yeah, she's like suck less.

Speaker 3

Yes, I know, I know. I don't need to play by play.

Speaker 4

She just wants to be cool. She just hates that she's cool.

Speaker 3

I love when she says I hate you, I hate me, I hate everything that really encapsulated like the reality I feel like of what it is to be a teenager and the hell.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it makes me think too that the other comp for this movie is mean girls. Yes, exactly, right, like what you know, perhaps not only girls, but like this is the topic we're on, like what girls are trained to feel about each other. You're in competition, You're in some kind of you know, competition over a man. Usually I mean they're very young for that, but like that's what society is putting in exactly.

Speaker 3

And yeah, mean girls. And this film, actually I believe came out around the same time two thousand and four. And the final kind of that's problematic bucket that we have here is like what this film says about the era in general. And so this was kind of peak like girl Boss energy, right, like magazines were on top, Like being thirty and single was kind of seen as

like a crisis. But it's interesting because in this film, when when Judy Greer's character Lucy picks Jenna up from her home and she is about to tell her something, she goes, oh, no, you're pregnant, She's like thank God, Like you know, I feel like that is a different kind of reaction than maybe most other films would react in this way, like it kind of does seem like, oh, like this kind of like women girl boss energy is more important than getting the guy, which like to me, is an advancement.

Speaker 1

I feel absolutely like there's definitely whatever wave of feminine, whatever wave of feminism it was in that early two thousands, it's there. It's definitely there. The other thing that I thought about when immediately when you said that was when I was in that big party scene where they do the thriller dance. I was watching all of the extras in their costumes and all of the women are in like heels and like the tiny little dresses like that

was it. And the men are in the baggiest, crappiest looking jeans and these shirts that don't fit, and this terrible haircut, and I was like, what what were women accepting right from people?

Speaker 2

Like if.

Speaker 1

You have to get a pair of pants that fit correct period end of story, like, oh my god.

Speaker 3

And Jenna's outfits and like her sticks in her hair and like all all the things. I'm just like, what is going on here? There's a lot happening, and it's.

Speaker 2

Kind of like a lot.

Speaker 3

They get away with it because it's a thirteen year old dressing herself as a thirty year old. So you're kind of like, okay, hard to you know, the lines are kind of blurred there, But it does make me kind of think of, you know, Devil Wears Prada, like opening scene, Like, you know, it's all about magazines. It's all about models. It's all about them fucking weighing cheerios or oatmeal and seeing how many calories they have and them kind of cut it. You know, it's all about

diet culture. And I do think that that peek through a tiny bit in this film, a little bit just by way of who our stars.

Speaker 4

Were, at least her female leads.

Speaker 3

I do think Mark Ruffalo though, is kind of an interesting like you said, like he came from a theater background. He's not really the you know, the rom com lead typically at this time yet, so I don't know, they kind of like very slightly subvert these little birds.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, and I like, I it's funny. I just remember when Jennifer Garner was on Alias the the the diatribes people would write about her abs which were to be clear, superhuman like insane, and I'm like, okay, so Jenna's also running around really strongly in high heels with a bear midrift.

Speaker 3

Yes, like she has ripped her her body just is spectacular. And I think I think that was also clear to me as a mid size, like kind of chubby thirteen year old girl, like wow, this girl is skinny and she's pretty, and like that was very like she she did scream lead to me as a kid when I first saw this, absolutely, yeah, very very you know clear that that that's not I think that's what we've come

up with. I think in most of these prom coms of like, you know, it almost doesn't even even need to be said, but just like the white, straight, skinny kind of like nature of all of the leads and how that hasn't really changed until the last like five years.

Speaker 4

Basically yeah like that.

Speaker 1

I also think it's so fast. I think it's so fascinating that even in the thriller scene there is one black person dancing with like and like people, Yeah, the DJ's black, and I'm like, okay, like what's going on here? I don't think this is our culture so much, that's correct.

Speaker 3

They Yeah, we had on Brandon Kyle Goodman for our Yes, for our episode on Legally Blonde and they put this really well of like, if you're not going home with the black character, aka you don't know anything about their life, their relationships, their work, then like that's not meaningful representation. And I feel like that's just such a common thread through a lot of these films is we don't go

home with any people of color. We don't go home with any people like you know, Richard is the boss who's gay, who's funny and you know, a step up his gayness. His queerness is not the punchline, which is you know, there's one moment where Jenna's like, are you gay? And you know, she's genuinely unsure because she's in a thirteen year old, you know, brain, and he just kind of laughs at her as kind of like a yes, I'm gay, Like of course I'm gay.

Speaker 4

But it's not the punchline.

Speaker 3

So I think like this movie could have done better, but it didn't. It did not punch down in many ways that other films don't.

Speaker 1

Yeah, what we always say on our show is it's sense of omission. Yes, So it's not there's nothing outwardly offensive. It's just like it's in New York without any black people or Hispanic people, or Asian people or you know, very small amount of queer people, and like everyone's kind of looks the same, you know, right, which is.

Speaker 3

You know that's what Sex and the City did, and like, you know, there's so many very popular kind of like rom COMMI type things that really like led the movement for.

Speaker 4

Many of these things.

Speaker 3

And you know, we are doing the rewatch now and we know better and we can do better in future media. But I think we're I want to end here on the on the problematic piece with our cringe.

Speaker 4

Corner, which is just like, okay.

Speaker 3

One moment, one character, one line, one thing that you found particularly cringey, I'll give you a minute to think about it. For me, like, even though it is sweet, I will say the sleep Oversea with the thirteen year olds just because Jenna, you know, if I'm if I'm a parent of one of those kids, am I gonna let my teen kind of go sleep over a thirty year old's house?

Speaker 2

No?

Speaker 3

I will.

Speaker 4

I will not do that.

Speaker 1

And so maybe if you're an Upper east Side parent, that's you're not really there.

Speaker 3

That's true.

Speaker 4

At a fundraiser, they are busy.

Speaker 2

They're at a gala, they're at.

Speaker 3

A gala for the rest of their lives.

Speaker 4

They are busy.

Speaker 3

But I think that, you know, in actuality is weird. In the movie, it's very cute and sweet and it's a cute, like music video kind of moment. But yeah, the fact that she mostly relates to thirteen year olds as an adult is tough.

Speaker 4

It's a tough sell.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I mean, I'll go with the obvious one, but I have two. Okay, So the obvious one is, of course, when they make Mark Ruffalo kiss the thirteen year old exactly which is and to be fair, it's a it's a relatively brief kiss and he stops it very quickly.

Speaker 3

It's Jennifer Garner's body, so you don't know.

Speaker 1

He doesn't know, and he does not believe that this. He just thinks she's had like a mental break or something.

Speaker 2

He doesn't delve into it.

Speaker 4

She's like, hey, hole, are you on drugs?

Speaker 2

Yeah?

Speaker 1

Like, okay, you're actually cool again, so I'll hang out with you, but like, I don't know what's actually going on. The other one that I think about is the strip tease, only because they have this poor guy and look, I think he does a good job because he's supposed to be kind of doofy, doofy. Yes, So kudos to the actor. Actually don't know his name, but they put him in these tidy whities, and I'm like the VPL in this scene.

I would have thought I would have remembered that because I can see your penis sir like and keeps cutting back.

Speaker 4

And his balls. For sure, it's a large bulge.

Speaker 1

There's three separate entities in those tidy whities.

Speaker 3

It's like, please put him in briefs.

Speaker 1

I don't, at least absolutely a pair of boxers.

Speaker 2

No problem.

Speaker 3

We don't need to see the outline. She doesn't need to see that outline. She's she's a youth. Let's let's not bless us, not forget Okay, but now, Paul, we get to do a rewrite. Okay, you know how we would tell this story today. I kind of want to jam on the idea that you've been giving of her having a best female friend, and maybe maybe it's a lesbian. Maybe we get that, or maybe we get that representation.

Speaker 1

Maybe hang on, I don't want you to fall over your seat of down right. Maybe she's Asian.

Speaker 3

Maybe she's an Asian girl, could be did they have Asians in the nineteen eighties living in New Jersey.

Speaker 4

I think they did.

Speaker 1

I think they did was biling available.

Speaker 3

I feel like this is a great idea because, like you said, it would give that kind of extra perspective of them being good friends without pitting women against each other. And also it would kind of serve as the foil to the Maddie character. Maybe she and Maddie in adulthood are still friends or something, and maybe there's like a way that we can feel a little bit more comfortable with this idea. What do you want to jam on this idea a little bit more?

Speaker 4

What do you think?

Speaker 1

I think that I have another slight tweak that I think might unlock something.

Speaker 2

What if Maddie.

Speaker 4

Believes her that she is actually that.

Speaker 1

She is actually she somehow convinces him and and our hypothetical lesbian named.

Speaker 2

Josephine.

Speaker 1

Yes, she convinces Maddie and Josephine that she is actually Jennifer and that then she can fall in love with him and he does not have to fall in love with her, right, He does not have to have those feelings, right, And that removes because it's fine for her as a thirteen year old to have a crush on growing up Mattie who looks like Mark Ruffalo, Like that's there's no issue with that, and then she could try to kiss him and he whoa, nope, nope, not I.

Speaker 4

Can't do it.

Speaker 3

Or let me give you one better, Paul please. This is what I wrote down. What if Maddie and Jenna both were fast forwarded into their adult lives.

Speaker 2

Oh, there you go.

Speaker 3

There romance isn't so creepy because they're both thirteen year olds and thirty year old's bodies.

Speaker 1

Yes, and then you get it's like it's almost like a split screen kind of situation going on, like, oh, Maddie's still kind of cool and he gets to figure out photography and Jenna's still has become an asshole and she's like, wait, I didn't want to be an.

Speaker 3

Asshole, right, I feel like this this version of it, and we're adding in Josephine is like the best case scenario because honestly, usually during this time it's like, oh, we need to you know, with other films, it's like, oh, I want to take out all the fucking homophobia casual homophobia in this Like we just did a recording for Just Friends and there's so much just casual homophobia in there.

Speaker 4

We're like a fat suit.

Speaker 3

We're like we're taking that out, like it's just very obvious things. But this is like we're working, we're on staff right now, we're in a writer's room.

Speaker 2

Yeah, this this is free.

Speaker 3

The writers need to take some notes here. All right, Paul, We're going to actually do our post watch rating before I let you go here, and before we do a trivia teaser.

Speaker 4

Information about the six Chicks.

Speaker 2

You were on the edge of your seat about the and I still am.

Speaker 3

I can't wait to tell you.

Speaker 1

My breath has been baited for forty minutes.

Speaker 3

Tell me what your post watch after all this, after everything we've discussed, what is your post watch rating on the bomb scale one to five bombs? What do you got?

Speaker 4

You started with the two where.

Speaker 1

I started with the two because I was concerned, right, you were worried. I'm gonna I don't think it's quite a one, but I don't think it's a two.

Speaker 2

So I'm going to follow your leave. I think that's where.

Speaker 3

I'm staying because after talking about the weird age gap stuff, and you know how it's just kind of weird that she is a thirteen year old in this in this body, and I just could have been fixed with one line, you know what I mean? Oh yeah, something to cue us in that, like people know. And so I'm leaving it at a one point five. But overall it's pretty good. It's pretty good, very close to a one here, which I'm happy.

Speaker 1

Yes, And like you know, if it's if it's teaching young people that they are going to be able to live in a five bedroom penthouse on the Upper East Side when they're thirty, I mean, let them dream.

Speaker 4

We need to dream.

Speaker 3

And I actually, when I was preparing for this episode, trying to think of a good trivia teaser, I learned that today her apartment would be worth five million dollars. That's what people estimate, five million. But let's talk about the trivia teaser.

Speaker 4

You want to know about? Okay, the famous Six Chicks.

Speaker 3

If you look closely, you may see some familiar faces in the Six Chicks. Someone named Ashley Benson later became a teen TV staple after starring in Pretty Little Liars.

Speaker 2

She's Pretty Little Liars.

Speaker 4

Absolutely, he's one of the Six Chicks and this and I.

Speaker 1

Believe she also was a Cara Delavine's girlfriend, for a while.

Speaker 4

Oh I love that knowledge.

Speaker 3

I really love random like this is connected to this and this person knows this person and this is the kicker here. Bree Larson was in the Six Chicks. She was she I've noticed it yesterday. She won an Oscar for Best Actress in twenty sixteen in her performance in Room. And she is Missus Marvel or whatever the fuck her name is and Captain Marvel, and she's she's in a million things, and we love Larson.

Speaker 4

She's incredible.

Speaker 2

She's an Alister Alister and she's a six Chick.

Speaker 4

Pretty incredible.

Speaker 1

Wow, I gotta go look again because I didn't. I genuinely didn't clock either one.

Speaker 4

I know she's very tall.

Speaker 3

She's one of the tall, blonder ones you'll see.

Speaker 1

Okay, okay, I'm excited for that. Excellent, I'm excited.

Speaker 4

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3

Okay, are you ready to hear next week's trivia and you can make some guesses in.

Speaker 2

Your head as to what.

Speaker 3

Next week. This flirty Friends with Benefits rom com started as romance written for two male leads. Then Hollywood did what Hollywood does and rewrote the script, changed the title, and added an Oscar winning woman and a sitcom star. Guess which movie almost gave us a queer buddy comedy and ended up with a straight emotional mess instead.

Speaker 2

It's the one with Ashton Cher And.

Speaker 3

All right, people, you're getting an inside scoop here.

Speaker 2

For I love this game.

Speaker 3

It's an amazing game. Next week actually is our last episode of rom Com Bomb, so so make sure you tune in and share your guesses. Uh say, no strings attached with a rom com that you remember from growing up if you want us to cover it maybe in a future season of roum com Bomb. By leaving a review on Apple Podcasts, leaving a comment on Spotify, Paul, thank you so much for joining us today. Where can people find you?

Speaker 1

Oh, thank you for having me. You can find me on that Age Well podcast dropping every Monday wherever you get your podcasts. Me and Erica we go through. We do a kolonoscopy on these movies. These are long form episodes. We don't skip things. We get in there and we talk about it. So if you need if you've got a long commute, if you've got a boring job with data entry, sure we are your ticket to some giggles. Yes, well that's happening.

Speaker 3

Yes, and We will put that in our show notes for folks, and yeah, Paul, you rock.

Speaker 2

Thank you so much, Thank you so much. I had a great time.

Speaker 3

Our creator, host and executive producer is me Danielle bezelel aka dB. Our producer is Sadie Leeji. Our communications lead is Catherine Cohen. Our music theme is by hook Sounds. Thanks so much much to our featured guests, partners, and listeners. If you have a romcom you remember from growing up and want us to cover it on romcombomb, submit it to us by leaving a review on Apple.

Speaker 4

Podcasts and leaving a comment on Spotify.

Speaker 3

Want to partner with us, Email us at sexedidb at gmail dot com. For more sexad content, follow us on Instagram at sex ed with dB podcast.

Speaker 4

See you next time.

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