ER - Makeshift Tracheotomies, Nurse’s Oaths & a Lippy Schoolteacher

I was talking to my much younger colleagues the other day, and I was trying to describe something offensive.

When you have to refer to younger people as your colleagues.

Isn't it much younger?

I will not call them my.

Peers, aha, my co workers, people who also work in the building where I work. And I was trying to describe, like, oh, I'm not And then I was like, like, the word I was looking for was something like entry level, like I'm not. I'm not I'm not starting out like I'm in my career. I'm in the middle of it. So I was trying to get to that point, but I couldn't quite think of the word that I wanted, and so I was like, I'm not. Oh what's the word? And then they all tried to quote unquote helpful. Oh no,

I'm not picky, am I am? I in the public square for a stoning, and.

Then the worst one. I cannot this fucking gen Zer looked me right in the face and went spring Chicken.

No no, and I burned the building down, as you should have. That's why you sent me that text for Kerosene.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well I'm glad, you know what. I'm glad I was there for you.

Chicken.

You should have taken Tillie's face and shoved it right into her desk. You should have made her eat those words. You should have written spring Chicken on a post it one letter per posted in every single one down the gullet.

It was a guy.

Now he needs to be fired.

Hey, Paul, America, and this is that aged well, yesterday's pop culture today you got through it. You're trying too hard.

You're trying.

I put a hand gesture on it.

It was like the more you.

Know, yeah, the more you age, Erica. It's January. It's the end of January. We're doing nighttime soap operas.

Because it's the shortest days of the year, so it's time to celebrate the night. It was good. Thank you got off the top of the head. Off the old nuggin y good you see you're not.

You you are spring Chicken. Before we get to today's soap, though, we do have some five star Apple podcast reviews.

Shall I read the first? Sure? All right?

So this is from Chrissy Mack and Christy Max says, don't tempt me with a good time.

Love.

Yeah, love they right. I thought about withholding this review until we got an animated robin Hood episode, but here I am.

Oh, I like I like being like threatened.

Yeah, I like that, and also that animated robin Hood episode. Oh, I better rested the day before. We can only record one episode that day because I'm going to be spent rested and hydrated exactly.

You know.

I was home last weekend and my animated robin Hood came up and my mother out of clear blue sky, I was like, oh, you mean how Paul knew he was gay?

And Grandma's like, you're gay? Just kidding his Grandma's dead. Yeah, it's true.

Christy Mack goes on, I can't remember how I found this podcast, but I'm so glad I did. It makes me laugh and think and I love both of those activities. Cute, very nice, Thank you Chrissy mac Chrissy Mack, you are a gentlewoman and a scholarress.

Our second review comes from Misty Dawn forty five. I don't know why, but I'm that just evokes that name evokes like an eighties hair rock, like heart Barracuda. We're all wearing chiffon.

I all see the leg warmers and the high part leotar.

Yeah, we're Laura Brannigan. We're singing that song. I'm into this name. Misty down forty five rights amazing that Aged Well is the best podcast you will ever listen to.

No Lies Detected.

Paul and Erica are wildly entertaining, and we'll have you laughing and sometimes crying the entire time.

Someone listened to Drop Dead Friends literally like.

A drop dead bread. With each episode, I feel like I'm hanging out with my besties having the best time. They are just what the doctor ordered. Oh my god, you that is the perfect review to read for this episode. Yeah, they're just what the doctor ordered for your mental health.

Oh that's very nice, Thank.

You, Misty don forty four. Now go find your magic man.

Try to understand, mama, Try to understand. He's a magic He's a magic man. He's got magic hands.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, doesn't that seriously? Misty Down? Oh yeah that she is playing an electric guitar on top of the roof of a classic car. Yeah. She's dressed. Yeah, and she's head to toe in black chiffon making it work. Yes, the hair is huge, Yes, but the best huge?

Oh? Absolutely absolutely all right, Chrissy Mack Misty Down forty five, thank you so much for those reviews. If you would like you're that age, well, tope bag. All you need to do is claim it. Let us know this is you. I will send it off for you. Erica, what nighttime soap are we talking about? On this the grand finale of our January twenty twenty five Excursion.

Today's show is the medical soap opera.

Er Er was requested by Kay by Sojoe, by Miggi, by Kelly, by Shannon, by Teresa and by our patrons Erica. We pulled Er against Ali McBeal.

Yes, doctors versus lawyer, doctors versus lawyers?

What do you want to hear? And this was fun to watch. Let me tell you something. First Ali was ahead, then George Cloning Company were ahead, then it switched back. Ultimately er one fifty three percent to forty seven percent. Wow, is a real squeaker, mister em a squeaker.

Yeah, I would have guessed Ali McBeal would when I would not have guessed ER.

I thought Allan mcbeil was gonna take it in a walk, honestly, not that R isn't. I mean, I spoiler alert. I didn't really watch R, but like it. It seemed like Ali mcbeil was going to be sillier, which I feel like the patrons usually go for, but they went for R.

Yeah, and so here we are if which is this one's a little silly.

I suspect a lot of R is a little silly.

Oh my gosh, I'll just talk about it now. There are some episodes where so it's like Gray's Anatomy but before Grey's Anatomy, where like just so much happens in an episode you're like, oh my god, this hospital is gonna get like raided by pirates. Like I'm just waiting for the episode when like someone bursts through on.

A jet pack, someone kool aid Man's.

Through steals a baby and then flies off into space with it. Like there's too much happening at this fucking Er.

All right, so Er was created by Michael Crichton. Ever heard of him?

Yeah, Yeah, that's funny. I would not. I guess he would be annoyed at us calling this is soap. Probably would be my guest. Yeah uh.

Er aired on NBC from nineteen ninety four to two thousand and nine. We will be discussing specifically season three episode fifteen, The Long Way Around, which was written by Lydia Woodward. Er stars Anthony Edwards, George Clooney, Noah Wiley, Juliana Margulize, Gloria Rubin, Laura Ennis, and Eric Lasal, most of whom will not be appearing in this episode.

But you know who is, Ewen fucking McGregor.

Ewan McGregor is appearing in this episode.

Case you're wondering why we picked this episode, I saw the words Ewan McGregor and went that one.

It starts with a you and it ends with one McGregor.

Hah. Er was nominated for ae hundred and twenty four Emmy Awards over the course of its run. It won twenty three of those, including Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama for Juliana Marghalese. In nineteen ninety five and Outstanding Drama in nineteen ninety six. She is so good. This is basically a Juliana Margolize episode, and she's very good. She's very very good.

Started as a screenplay in nineteen seventy.

Four, Holy Moly.

After producers showed no interest, Crichton moved on. He wrote Jurassic Park, and after filming that movie A one, Steven Spielberg brought the original script to Ambulant Entertainment and eventually got it produced as a two hour pilot on NBC.

I kind of remember that. I kind of remember like the buzz around Steven Spielberg's gonna dip his toe into television. It's a big deal er. Also, I'm trying to imagine what an er would have looked like in nineteen seventy four versus like when they actually made it in nineteen ninety four, where they were like, oh no, we have a multiple gunshot run victim. I guess just you know, rub this, rub this crystal over him if it heals him. What was medicine back then?

I think it was just leeches.

Er. Season one has an eighty three percent critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and season two has a one hundred percent critical rating. Yeah, some of those critics came correct. That's right after season one. The show as a whole has an eighty five percent audience score. I think that's fair, But I think all those fair. I even think the one hundred percent critical reading is fair. I remember when this came out. It was audacious. It was trying new things.

Work all right, Erica, when did you first see er I.

Watched it from the beginning. I did not watch the whole show. I had no idea it ran this long fifteen years. Fifteen years, that's bunkers. Yeah, I remember watching the first I don't know, two seasons, and then I probably crapped out after that. Because it's also a time in my life when like I didn't care about watching TV the way I do now where I have to watch every episode of a show that I like I

I also think like back then, because of the different model for TV, the writers knew you might miss an episode, like it was it wasn't expected that you would watch every single one. Probably they knew like if we get them fifteen out of twenty two episodes, they should be able to basically get the story.

Especially a show like this where which is like basically every episode revolves around some medical disaster and there's a few running threads throughout the show, like today's episode has a running thread. But I didn't feel like I missed anything, Like they gave me. They gave me the backstory in the beginning, and I'm like done, got it, got all the information I need? Yeah, Paul, when did you first seer?

Never have I seen this show?

No way, that's I can't believe that's bonkers because it was so ubiquitous, and then it made George Clooney into a fucking stratospheric level star.

I just remember immediately being like, I don't want to watch that, Like I had no interest in medical medical shows.

The only medical show I've ever watched even a little.

Bit as Grey's Anatomy, because when Grey's Anatomy came out, it was such a pop culture phenomenon, and I was a little older then.

I think this was just as big a pop phenomenon, if not maybe more. It's just we were too young. We were too young. Yeah, yeah, but I really remember the whole Steven Spielberg thing.

Yeah, and then when when Grey's Namy came out, I think I watched it for maybe like I'm gonna generously say three seasons, and then I was like, I'm done, and it remains airing to this day.

It will be, it will it will be here afterward day. It sure will be. So you've never seen a medical should you ever watch Scrubs?

I did watch. I should say I never saw a medical drama. I watched some Scrubs, but not religiously.

Yeah, I didn't watch it religiously here, but I was like, I bet you've seen something you just don't remember.

Yah, Scrubs or I watched I'm watching Saint Dennis Medical on NBC Now with Wendy Mclinton Covey and Alison Tolman, which.

Is very cute.

Medical stuff in the drama sense doesn't interest me. I'm very like, the world is harsh enough. I don't need to watch people cry over losing patients every four seconds. I'm good, I'm good, and I don't want to. I understand the human body is fragile. I don't want to see how fragile a makeup artists can make it look like I am good on all of that stuff.

Thank you? Did you have any like like when this show was airing? Was it part of the I mean, do you like did you know who Noah Wyley was?

Oh? Yeah, yeah, I knew who all the lead actors were.

I only mentioned Wiley specifically because he was like, genuinely nobody before the show started. I think he was a theater guy, and he and George Clooney were the two hot ones. Well, Eric Lasoul would disagree, right, But then Anthony Edwards stands are angry. No, genuinely, Eric Lasol is the hot one. Well yeah, clearly the hot one on the show. That's what I'm just curious, like if it pervaded the pop culture? Oh absolutely, you still knew who these actors were, got it? Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, Erica. The tagline for er was there was no tagline. How happy does that make you?

This show is too good for the tagline? And I agree, I agree with I concur? Do you concur? Doctor?

Maybe the tagline should have.

Been beepp Oh no, they got a back. I'm so glad I almost interrupted you there. I'm no, No, he's going somewhere.

I'm picturing a tagline where it's like it's like whoever whenever however, but the er at each one is like R no matter, no matter what, no matter. When you need help whenever, the eer, the doctors at whatever this hospital is called.

Chicago Hospital General probably will.

Be there for you. Shall I read the iTunes synopsis?

Sure? Okay?

The iTunes synopsis is, although she is suspended from work, Carol experiences a busy day when she and a store full of customers are taken hostage. She helps the victims while the hostages are still there that doesn't make sense. That should be helps the victims while the burglars are still there. I'm checking myself.

Hang on, Okay, we're back.

Okay, we're back. I am not wrong.

These people are wrong.

She helps the victims while the hostages are still there is what it says on the iTunes synopsis. The victims are the hostages. Those are those are synonyms.

Yes, she should say it should say she helps the victims while the burglars are still there. The perpetrators, the perpetrators, the robbers, the robbers, the Scottish rogues.

Oh no, you've dipped into the romantic side of it.

Ha ha.

Okay, Erica, do you have an actual synopsis for this episode of er The.

Actual sickness is Stockholm syndrome. Yes, yes, yes, I get yes, because that is that is what's gonna take Carol down. Why does she care? Why did she care so much much about this asshole?

You want to know why? Because she also took an oath on nurses Outh, so dish, so.

Dish, so fish reference. I love it, I love it. I did that Nurses House, Nurses South.

Okay, everyone stick around, we're gonna come right back. We're gonna take you through this episode of ER. If you don't want to listen to commercials, you can go over to our Patreon. You can sign up at the three, five or ten dollars level and that will get you add free episodes and how more, how more. But if you're not gonna do that, that's okay too. Stick around. We will be right back after these commercials to take you through season three, episode fifteen, The Long Way Around, and we're back.

Previously on ER, Juliana Margulize gave someone the wrong blood. Gloria Rubin doesn't want a second date. Juliana Margley's is not looking for any special favors from you, Laura Innes. George Clooney has to intubate a patient, but Clia du valt Cla du Val, holy shit, I missed that says the patient doesn't want to be put on a machine. Juliana Margley should probably go to the Sun Times herself because she could potentially lose her job. Why I don't care.

I guess that puts a pin in what I was saying on who the hot one is, because apparently this is the stud.

Apparently Anthony Edwards is getting all the pussy on this show.

Real snatch Magnet.

Real snatch Magnet that Anthony Edwards. Almost none of this has anything to do with what we're about to watch. My favorite television show of all time is the previously on yours. If you watch a super cut of them, they are the funniest thing really anyone has yet because they're all insane. They're all like like genuinely, they're all like pirates have taken over the er.

They're all like the astronauts going to land on the roof. We have to get up there to get to intubate them.

Yeah, there's been four bombs put inside three puppies, but we have seven puppies. We don't know which ones have bombs in them. Just bonkers, honestly, though, the problem is Grey's Anatomy has really upped the ante. Yeah, almost nothing they could put on ear could be as dumb as half the shit there.

There actually was a man with a bomb in his chest on Gray's Natomy, Like that happened. They saved a deer ones like they've gone there, They've gone there. They just haven't thought of pirates yet. They have the actual answer.

Yes, and er so hard.

So we open on Carol Hathaway played by Juliana Margalize, as a phone call from her mother wakes her up on Valentine's Day. She is currently serving her suspension for accidentally transfusing the wrong blood into a patient, possibly causing his death. It is unclear, according to Wikipedia, if this was the actual cause or if he would have died regardless.

Because of his injuries.

Oh so that's what she is referring to in the opening when she's like, I should just go to the Sun Times and report myself because I don't want special treatment. I'm noble, I'm Carol, blah blah blah.

Her apartment is depressing well again, right.

Why don't they turn on the goddamn lights because.

She's depressed, Paul, she's too depressed to buy milk, doesn't she hasn't left her bed in days, but also her apartment itself. I'm like, nurses, Look, they're not the best paid profession.

They should be. They should they should be.

Paid ten times whatever they're getting paid.

It should be public school teachers, nurses, and then everyone else, and then everyone else.

However, she does not make minimum wage. Girl, what are you doing with that apartment? That is the saddest apartment I've ever seen.

So Carol wakes up because her mother calls her, and she starts going through her morning routine. She reaches she's talking to her mom, and mom was like, let's go to the mall, blah blah blah. She's like, no, no, I have stuff to do. She reached into the refrigerator. She takes out it's a carton of milk. She can see through it, and she like dumps it out and there's almost nothing left. And then she looks like, oh, I'm like, bitch, you knew there wasn't anything in there.

You held it in your hand.

And then she goes back and she takes out the orange juice, which now she can't see through it but you can feel it, and she opens it she dumps out. She's like, oh, there's nothing in this either. I'm like, what is happening.

Did you were you worried she was gonna mix them? I thought she was gonna mix She didn't mix them. No, no, she put them in two different glasses.

She absolutely did not. No, it was the same glass.

I recall two glasses. I recall two glasses. Paul, Are we gonna have to go back to pause again? It's the second pause of this episode. We're pausing.

Got a.

Okay, we're back. We're back, Paul, Yes, what what what happened? Report? Report on what happened? Erica was right? There were two glasses? No, no, No, fast slower Paul, Say it's lower. It does happen rarely. We should pull this out, We should draw this out. Say it's slower? What what? What happened exactly during this? Erica was correct?

Yeah, glasses.

You would one say that you were wrong?

I was then wrong.

You were wrong. That's the that's the that's what happens, right, That's the inverse of my being correct, is your being wrong? Yes, that's okay. I just wanted to point that out to everyone that Paul, who watched the same episode that I did, just decided he wanted to create his own version, his own narrative.

Okay, So Carol pours the two things into separate glasses, drinks one one of them, yeah, remember.

Which one the rest?

Yeah, and goes about her day. She throws on some winter clothes. She heads outside. She greets her neighbor's kid, Robert, on the street, and then she walks over to the Novotny family market, where we meet a lot of characters that are going to be important, none of whom are famous, except one who's quasi famous.

Yeah.

So missus Novatni played by Ruth Malichek. She's the proprietor of the store with her husband Javier, played by Hector Fabregas Fabregas.

Uh.

He is the stock boy. We see him walking in. He heads right back into the storeroom. Mister Douzac played by Jan Rubis. Rubis is an old guy with maybe like a Polish or Eastern European Okay, check accent.

Great.

Uh.

He's looking for ulcer medication for his wife. And did you notice Carol walks in and she hears him asking questions and she so stonewalls him. Yes, what about your nurse's mouth?

I thought about that, actually, I wrote down in my notes. I was like, she's too depressed to help this guy with his ulcer medication.

We meet Lockhart, who is a delivery guy. He's played by Mark Moratini. And we meet Angie played by the other quasi favous person, Marisol Nichols.

She is a young school teacher.

Angie is who they were talking about when anyone ever said she's got a mouth on her.

I love Angelo. I call her Red scarf Lety through all my notescause I don't know anyone's names, and I'm like Red scarf Lady can hang. I fucking love rear.

I love Red scarf Lady in every situation except the one in which we meet Red Scarf Lady, except the.

Hostage situation where she gets real liippy. It's like, bitch, shut up. They have guns. As Carol walks to the back of the shop, is too depressed to help even anyone with their medication questions because the old man's like asking about ulcer medication to the guy who delivers the like bread and man, I deliver bread. I'm I'm not a pharmacist. We see two men enter the shop and

You called him a movie star before, and he definitely he had done trains ponding.

By this point. He was a movie star by.

Now, I did. I don't think he was a he was a movie actor. Like I'm just thinking about like how high his star has risen. All I mean to say is he was on the ascent.

He was. I don't think he had peaked by any stretch of the I still don't think he's peaked, frankly, frankly, but no, no, no, I disagree with that. I remember when this episode came out. I remember it was a big fucking deal that Ewan McGregor were on American television. I think he was a pretty big star. Okay, maybe not like a huge star the way like a Tom Cruise or whatever, but he was a pretty big star at this point. Yeah.

I difficulty believing it only because of his haircut, which this is the.

Same haircut he has in A Lifeless Ordinary, which makes me think he is filming the film A Lifeless Ordinary.

During this it looks like a monkey cut his hair or a weed whacker. It is the I've never been less attracted to you and McGregor.

It answers the question would I fuck the mad Hatter if he came out of the book and into real life, And the answer is a yes. I didn't know that about myself until I watched this. Do you know what? Fuck? Yeah? Actually you know when I found that out. Have you ever seen the Emma that he's in. It's the one with Gwyneth Paltrow.

Yes, I don't even remember.

He's not the love interest Jeremy northm is, but he plays another like semi love interest in that film, and he genuinely looks like the mad Hatter and that like they gave him the worst wig ever.

Now, does the mad Hatter need to have a Scottish progue for you to fuck him? He?

Uh no, because he's British in that one, and I would absolutely fuck him in that one as well. But like I'm not exaggerating, he must have had the shaved head from Trainspotting still and so they had to give him a wig to play this role and he looks awful. It's so bad. So uh you and McGregor with his still fuckable haircut, I don't care I don't care, absolutely would.

Do this haircut is the glasses that Rachel Lee Cook wore and she's all.

That, yeah, just remove it, and suddenly he's hot, No, still hot. The situation escalates quickly. James grabs the money and Duncan waves his pistol around and shouts at everyone to get down. But it's Scottish, so they're like, wait, I'm sorry, what'd you say? You say?

Get down?

Get down? Like I'm sorry, we don't understand you with your big accent. What's happening. Just as they're about to leave, mister Novotny, the old man who owns the store, appears with a shotgun. Bro, just let them go. There's a brief standoff when another employee enters. Mister Navotany shouts at him to leave, and he flees right so oh oh, and James fires a shot at him in vain, and

Duncan and James try to go out the back, but the door is locked with a padlock. There's gonna be another door later. I don't know where this door leads if the other door, like, there can't be it's not that big of a market.

I don't know.

It's a door. It's locked with the padlock. Moving on, they head back in to try to find the keys on mister Novotny, who is dying actively as Missus Nevotney wails over him. It is important to point out that I'm not going to keep bringing it up, but like, for the next five to ten minutes of this of the show is probably five minutes, not a full ten minutes. The poor actress playing Missus Nevotney has to wail in

That's hard. That's really hard. I don't give enough credit to actors who come in to do these one like one and done the things, and like they're asked to do a lot because like what we see is three minutes or five minutes, and crying is like three days. Three days. Yeah, of crying and crying to.

Get everyone coverage and yeah, yep, it's a lot.

Uh.

James nearly collapses from the gunshot wound and he says he needs help. He's like, oh, this gunshot wound because remember mister ravotany shot the American burglar, the non ewent McGregor burglar.

Good shot, So fuck that guy, am I right? Yeah?

Meanwhile, Carol, who's kind of crouching in the back, notices Robert that's her neighbor's kid, maybe like ten years old. Yeah, he's hiding under a pinball machine in the back of the market. And Duncan shouts that he wants everyone wants to stay where they are, and we roll credits.

Was that Irish or Scottich?

I don't know.

I think it's a stab at Scrooge McDuck. We come back to missus Nevotney's whales that her husband needs a doctor, and Duncan and James shout and wave their guns around. They're all freaked out, like this wasn't supposed to happen. Carol tries to tell Robert the little boy to hide under the crates, like keep stay hidden, stay hidden, don't let anyone like see you. But this only exposes him to Duncan.

Right.

This actually like was almost a little bit of a jump scar because it's the camera's tight on Juliana Margalli's and she's like, co go under the crates, and then you and McGregor's head just pops into frame and he's like, oh, so what do we have here? Another hostage, and like shit, Duncan demands that the boy comes out from under his hiding place. The kid is obviously like just too afraid

Worse and worse, So mister Nevotny and James continue to bleed. Carol stands up and she says, I took an oath a nurse his outh.

I'm a nurse. Maybe I can help.

She wants to help mister Nevotney, but the burglars demand that she cared for James first, even though mister Nevotney is clearly worse off, being quite a bit older and also shot in the chest and lying on the ground, whereas James still standing up and talking.

Yeah, James a shot kind of in the side, threw his ribs. Yeah, so that hurts like a bitch, but yeah, it's in better shape.

So Carol goes to care for James and Duncan yells at her, take the kid with you, and she's like, well, no, he shouldn't see it, like there's obviously violence. Like he's like, no, he has to go to So I think the producers and the writers of the show are really relying on Ewan McGregor's inherent Ewan McGregor likableness to carry a lot

I don't like duncan oh no me either. To be fair, it goes aways like honestly, like it goes a little bit of because there are moments when this show softens him a touch, but like not enough. We've seen this trope before, the inept gunman who's not really a bad guy, he just got caught up and blah blah blah. But like, this guy sucks. He's awful. He's really awful, and he's like, when given the chance to do the right thing, he will constantly do the wrong thing.

Yes, yes, I and I keep look, this would have been a much simpler episode, but I expected them to have James, his American cousin will find out be the shitty one, be the shitty one, and he's the one who didn't really want to do it and he kind of got dragged along and blah blah blah blah blah. That's not where it goes. They're both pretty in on this. They had differing plans, but neither one of them is like feeling super bad about everything that's going on, you know, yeah, which.

Makes it a more interesting character.

It just I think the balance got off because I don't think the end of the episode really lands for me emotionally.

We'll talk about it when we'll get there. I have so many thoughts on that, unlike Carol's journey in this episode, because it's it's not that I think the audience is supposed to care about Duncan per se, but Carol does yes in a way that feels so unearned.

Yes, Like, yeah, why.

Does she care if this guy lives or fucking dies? He waved a gun in her face for twenty minutes.

Okay, So, as Carol is caring for James, Duncan threatens Angie, that's sassy, Angie, lippy Angie, huh for moving, and she snaps back at him, I can't go anywhere. Why are you even bothering with me? And I'm like, girl, I will, I will shove a Maxi pad in your mouth myself. Don't anger the crazy person with the gun.

She's carrying very hard, right, very hard. She's gonna ask Duncan to see his manager. As Carol assesses James, the phone starts to ring incessantly, right, and Duncan discovers that mister Doozak, the check guy, has also hurt his wrist, and he threatens Lockhart. The delivery guy did not get any ideas about being a hero and like the actors are really good. He's like, I'm just sitting here. Yeah,

Yep, she does as good a job as I could do. Yes, but I'll say that right now better even yeah, and would say yeah. So Duncan demands that Lockhart help him barricade the door while shouting about how in America everyone has a job.

Weird line, Okay, weird line.

I was literally like, was there something happening in Scotland in whenever it's nineteen ninety seven. I guess in nineteen ninety six where they were going through some kind of.

It doesn't matter. This didn't air in Scotland, is aired here, right, and it just still doesn't make any fucking sense.

It's cool, well, because I think later they want it to be his motivating thing that he thinks Americans are all fat cats and like you know everyone it's it's the land where everyone gets everything they want or something like that.

I don't think so nothing else. He doesn't really hammer that home in any other part of the episode, though, does well.

He talks about losing his job in Scotland, Like he talks a lot about employment and how he wound up here, and like I think they're trying to talk about like to be clear, I agree this is a gossamer, thin web I'm trying to spend, but I'm trying to come up with some like why did they put this line in?

Yeah, cause it's so it's it's.

Highlighted and it's very clear. And he like he has a longer little rant that ends with in America, everyone has a job because like, oh that the lippy AND's a school teacher. Oh everyone has a job, and it's it made me think there was some historical context that I was missing.

Maybe not. Also, you know what now that you say it, like yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. He moved here to get a job, couldn't get a job, ends up doing this shit instead, Like that that all makes that actually all tracks. But also I don't think there you need to have historical context. It's just America's whole line, right, Our whole line is like land of opportunity, land of blah blah blah. So that's that's what he's making fun of. I suppose, I guess.

Yeah, So Carol has done MAXI patting James's chest, so decide I should say not chest, and she moves on to help mister Navotne.

She starts CPR.

She tells Duncan that she needs help, he needs a doctor, like this guy is in really bad shape, and she says, you don't want mister Novotny to die. You shot him, and the cops are gonna get even angrier than they already are if this guy dies, because then you'll have killed him. So Duncan tells the other hostages to help Carol try to save this guy's life.

M H cool.

Cool, Well, if I'm gonna get in trouble, then yes, you can help her save his life.

Yeah.

We jump slightly forward in time. Angie and missus Novotny are performing CPR while Carol gathers supplies for like a makeshift tracheotomy.

Okay, why have I seen this so many times?

You know what's funny is I thought the same thing. I was like, why I have seen this? I feel like this is a thing that writers go to a lot because it's it's visually like you can see what's happening.

And it's also incredibly chilling to think about as a person who's conscious and not in need of this life saving procedure. If I never see another tracheotomy makeshift or otherwise for the rest of my life, it will be too soon.

Well, now, if I need a trachyonomy, I need to know you know how to perform one. I also had a moment where I was like, he was shot in the chest, what does he need a trichyonomy? I just don't know. I'm gonna assume like there's medical things that I'm just not unaware of what's happening. So the phone is continuing to ring while the cops ask questions on a bullhorn outside, like how many hostages? What are your demands?

Duncan's like I said we should have come here when there weren't other people around him, Like, well the owner was the one who fucking shot you?

Yeah, Like yeah, Gi Joe over there is someone who shot you. Carol continues to work on mister Novotney. She attempts to insert like a chest tube through his ribs. This is actually super interesting because you like, I close my eyes, so please tell me about it if you like her doing the job. The work of like counting the ribs from outside of his like shirt to be like five four Okay. Here in between these two she's

She's better than I would be. Let's I'll say.

That right barely though, don't you know what, don't sell yourself short. I have seen you. I've seen you do a lot of tracheotomies. You've seen me chop up a piece of gar like, yeah, I've seen I've seen you. I've seen you attempt to insert a chest tube on many people, and you've almost never killed anyone, and.

They never consent.

I don't know. Mostly I'm just a sleep. Man's cutting into my rib cage. So unfortunately, Carol does everything she can. It's a heroic effort, but it's too late. Mister Nevotney dies on the floor.

Yep, so Duncan has Lockhart. That's the that's the delivery guy, the big delivery guy, the worried about because he's big drag. Mister Navotney's body the back room, which I gotta say, if I was that guy, like.

Dragon yourself like, Carol.

Accompanies them and while they're going back, Robert, that's the kid, Robert, it says, oh my god, I think I'm gonna be sick.

Gonna be sick.

So he gets permission to go to the bathroom. So he runs to the back into the bathroom.

Here's a great line here where he's like, I'm gonna vomit. I'm gonna vomit, and like they're like, so vomit. And the teacher who teaches the elementary school is like, trust me, you don't want him vomiting here, and she says it with his haunted look in her eyes, like I've seen some shit.

There was a story there. A good job, Maricel Nichols. I agree that was a great line reading. So in the back room, Carol again tries to reason with Duncan. She insists they have to get James to a hospital, and she's like, look, they'll go easy on you. You've never killed anyone before, and he demands, no, how do you know I haven't killed anybody? And she just looks at me and she says, you haven't, have you because she's

A little over the top. Yeah, but these two actors were killing it. Oh lately, you're doing a This is a really good to hander for both of them. Yeah.

So Duncan brings Lockhart the delivery guy back into the main area while Carol covers mister Navatni with the blanket, and as she goes to return to the store, Javier, the stock boy from the beginning, remember we said he walked right back into the storeroom, whispers to her from behind some shelves, and he tells her there's another door behind him, but it's locked. He can't get out through it, and he has a baseball bat and he wants to be a hero, and Carol's like, no, no, no, no, no, no,

So outside in the store, in the main store, Duncan and James are now disagreeing over what they should demand from the cops. James wants an escape car and Duncan wants medical supplies to help James and like fix up everything that's going on. James starts to panic and he demands that Duncan restrain Lockhart with tape. There's a moment I'm missing something here, didn't Duncan. Didn't Lockhart try to do something like he was holding onto something. No, they

She's bringing like a frozen bag of peace or corn or whatever to Angie's hand because Angie was burned by the coffee pot and she's putting it on Angie's hand. Angie looks over and she's like, Yo, this wouldn't be necessary if you hadn't shot the coffee pot. And Carol's like, Angie.

Angie, girl, baby girl, shut up, stfu, shut the fuck up. Duncan seems to finally be chilling, ever so slightly. Could you not antagonize him further, please? I'm also angry at him. Put a lid on it. So Duncan and James start arguing again, and it becomes clear what Paul was saying earlier. Duncan wanted to knock over the store when there weren't any customers inside, and James insisted, now's the time, now's the time. Honestly, James was wrong. There's fucking the store's

Yeah, Angie tells Duncan not to shoot the aspirin. This is such a weird it's such a weird thing that this is clearly the moment in the episode where the writers need something to happen and they so Angie is like, hey, why don't you try not to shoot the aspirin, your Scottish asshole.

Should she be a teacher? I don't think she might be. Maybe she should be an insult comic. I don't know. I'm just imagining her being like you colored outside the lines, you dumb fuck her to some poor little kid.

So this sends James into a kind of weird fugue state.

Because he's losing blood, losing blood.

Fast right, and he starts to laugh at the thought of Duncan shooting various things in the shop, like what if you shot the bread, what if you shot the magazines? Right, And he's laughing and Duncan tells him to shut up, and they start to go at each other. And then missus Navatni, who I think this actresses a really good job, Like she wails over her husband when she's trying to save him. Then he dies and she almost like just

Done, so affecting. Yeah, yeah, she's like, hey, could you two bosos acknowledged for a minute that you've ruined my life? Yeah. Duncan is upset because this old lady's yelling at him, which honestly fair.

And he doesn't really have a response because she's uh, just checking, yeah, no lies detected.

There, so correct. So he decides that Robert has had enough time to vomit in the bathroom. He's like, I got to change the subjects. Look over there, what's that kids fucking doing in the bathroom? And he goes to the back and he starts banging on the door. Get out of there right now, kid, you've had enough time to throw up. Which disagree. I've grown up. I've grown up fairly recently, and you need to take your time.

Don't rush someone.

Don't rush someone, because sometimes you think you're done, you're not. You're not always done. Carol begs Duncan to calm down, like, hey, hey, hey, stop escalating the situation. Robert hears Carol's voice and he's like, oh good, the voice of reason is out there, and he's he's like, you can come in, and so Carol is like, let me handle this. She goes into the bathroom and the kid is sitting on the floor with his shoes and socks off because his feet were hot.

I only knew there wasn't because he when he says he has to go to the bathroom. Someone, I think James tells Duncan just let him go. I know there's no there's no doorway. Yeah, they know there's no.

Actually say so. Duncan just snaps at the kid come out, and then he leaves, and Carol manages to calm Robert down and tells him to put okay, put your shoes and socks on and come on out here and join the others. It's going to be fine. Yeah, we're all going to be fine.

And it's a really good conversation because the kid's like, well, you don't know that we're gonna be fine. She's like, no, I don't. You're right, but there's police outside. They're gonna come in and help us. And he's like, well what if Duncan and James shoot them, just like they shoot everyone else. And she's like the limb will duck. Like she doesn't lie.

Yeah, very she's very mature with this kid. Yeah nice, she doesn't talk down to him. Yeah.

As Carol is leaving and the kid is getting his shoes on, she notices Duncan's standing over mister Navotny and he says that she must see a lot of dead people, and she says, yeah, yeah, I do. And he asks if she ever got used to it, and she just says not really.

More connection between these two.

Yeah yeah. Robert emerges, and I can't quite figure out this line reading. I think, I think you McGregor is playing that he's trying to be friendly. But like Robert comes out, Duncan notices him. He spins around, he grabs Robert's chin, and he like maybe not quite shouts, but like vocalizes fully, Hey there, buddy, there you go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the kid's face.

Robert panics and he flees into like the stock area behind the refrigerator.

I do think that's what you were right. He's trying to like he's having a serious moment. It's too many feelings, too many emotions. So when the kid comes out, he's like deflect, deflect, deflect, and yeah, I think he's trying to be friendly, and it like comes off insane.

Yeah, and the kid does what a kid should do in this situation.

The kid's like nope, nope, don't like this at all, and he flees. The phone starts ringing again. Robert tries to avoid Duncan grabbing him through the fridge, like, so he goes like I into the fridge and now like you and McGregor is like shoving like milk bottles and things out of the way to try to grab this kid from like behind the shelves that he's he's the only one small enough that this he could have potentially

No one curses this entire episode because it's network TV.

The amount of times you can see you and McGregor cursing and like it getting cut. It happens more than once. I was like, I was like, he got he cursed there and they had to cut around it because there's a lot of like freakin' freakin' I freaking fracking told you to freaking frack it. Shoot, I'm like, you said fuck and they had to cut around it for the fortieth time, and you're like, I'm so sorry, Let's do it again. Let's do it again.

So Duncan finally answers the phone while Carol attends to James, who is now rapidly losing conscious. James is like on the floor now passing out. Yeah, Duncan decides to get cute with the police. He refuses a doctor. He says, Carol's got it. We've got our own nurse half theway here. She's got it. And then he says, well, you know, we all resent the implication that you're saying that she doesn't have it. We all believe in Carol. You don't believe in Carol.

So he's kind of like that, It kind of thought that was funny.

It is funny, but it's very like if you put yourself in the reality of the situations like Jesus Christ. But you're right, it's very like, it's funny.

It's funny, Like you know, I resent the implication that you don't think our nurse can handle this. Yeah.

At that moment, he suddenly realized he doesn't hear the pinball machine anymore, and he looks over and he sees like the bottom half of Robert climbing up into the ceiling. He rushes overs, screaming at him. He tries to grab the kid and pull the kid down. Robert manages to get up in the ceiling like the ducts into the Dutch. Duncan follows him, but his weight is too much. The ceiling collapses and he crashes down into the pinball machine, cutting himself up with broken glass.

Is not Duncan's day.

This day has been.

He's had a bad day. Duncan, you know what we're gonna take an l on today. Everything is going wrong for Duncan. Things are not coming up roses for Duncan. We cut back to a few minutes later later, I suppose, and we see Carol picking glass out of Duncan's face and he's lamenting that. Oh. By now, Robert is already outside he's talking to the police, which again it's like, who cares. The police already have all the information they need,

Yeah, it's impressive. It doesn't quite work for me.

It is a mount Etna. This fucker is climbing to make this shit work.

I don't believe anyone could have made it work for me, Like, is no no aspersion upon you and McGregor here. I'm just like, this is impossible.

He gets soft, He gets really sweet. He starts talking about this like this like lock that he would want to go to. At one point I had to say check guy for the wind with funniest line of the episode, because the brother is like, the cousin is like, we should escape to Michigan and and go on a boat to Lake Michigan, and the check Guy's like the lake is probably frozen, Like yes, yes, check guy, Yes see Maricel Nichols, that's how you be sassy to do a

Duncan stands up. He's looking at her, and Carol says, I gave him the wrong blood. And Duncan says, but you didn't mean to kill him? Oh sorry, I should do that, my perfect Scottish brogue.

You're absolutely dead on accurate, perfect Scottish brogue.

But they didn't mean to kill him.

Yeah, uh huh, yeah, my god.

It's like it's like Scrooge McDuck himself is in there. Carol says, you didn't mean to kill mister Navotny. Now, okay, I get what she's doing.

She's you know, I get what she's doing, but like there's the difference here. I don't think it's gonna hold up in court.

Yeah, one is actively trying to help and there was a horrible mistake made, and one is actively trying to harm and a horrible mistake was made. Duncan says he doesn't think the cops are gonna care about that fair.

And Carol's like, ah, man, I'm just trying to be cool.

Here outflanked by a Scottish burglar. Again, if I had a nickel verbally defeated by a Scottish idiot.

Fucking logic, I don't know how to nurse my way out of logic.

So Duncan starts to starts to freak out again. He promises James he's gonna get them out of there. He starts casting about for a plan, and just then Javier sneaks out of the back room with his bat.

Heavier man, Pavier, man, what are you doing?

Why is everyone actively working against Carol? James notices him and warns Duncan, who spins around with his pistol, and Carol throws herself in front of Javier and he stops. Duncan stops, and she tells Duncan he already knows what it feels like to kill a man, only this time he'll mean it.

This line reading is perfect. She is so good in this moment. I'm like, damn, damn.

Duncan takes him on it and then he grabs Javier by the shirt and he starts screaming on him.

Where were you? Where were you?

And Javier finally says I was by the door back there, and Duncan starts screaming, there's a door there. He's like slamming Javier up against the wall and Carol remember got the keys, Like, just take the keys, take the keys and go, just go.

Duncan asked missus Novotne, where does the door go? And she says, there's a fire escape. Let me do my perfect missus Novatne. Yeah, Polish accent. I'm guessing it's it's Chicago, so probably Polish. Right, there's a fire escape. No, no, hang on, I think you commit. I'm doing Scottish too, believe in you. That's my Scottish. Hang on, hang on, here we go. There's a fly escape. Nope, that's French. That's French. Hold on, I got a Polish, I got a Polish in me. Yeah, fire escape there it is.

Now, too little, too late, James.

Duncan assures him the doctors will take good care of you.

James.

It's not like you murdered anyone, so don't worry about it. And so Duncan, this is so weird and crucial to me. Duncan like walks out of the store and Carol follows him. It's not like he grabs Carrol and does like the hostage thing where he's he's holding like a gun to her head and he's like, you're coming with me, and like forces her into the alleyway with him. No, she he goes, He's like you, you're coming with me, and then he goes first and she just follows him. It's weird blocking.

It's weird blocking. I would I can justify it in my head by being like Carol, who this whole time has just been like everybody de escalate, is like, I don't want to give him any excuse to be upset. I like, I've made some connections with him. I don't think he doesn't want I know he doesn't want to kill me. She took it oath Erica and nurses out, being like, did you no harm? I'm going to follow him to get him out, so when the police come in, like,

It's we're blocking because of what happens is it sets up the rest of this episode in which Carol, I'm just gonna spoil it now, Carol becomes like Duncan's like like advocate for the rest of the episode, like like genuinely his advocate. And I'm like, but why, yeah, like why, Like I get it. I see him too, I see what he looks like, but like no, but you also see the haircut. But he's been a shitty person for the last thirty minutes. He does not deserve your help.

Of the art of the episode, because they needed a title. I don't think the Long Way Around really makes any sense as a title, but.

Sure, yeah, I mean, couldn't the title of the.

Episode been like mcguiver, MAXI pads.

And the ten thousands emergency tracheotomy. You're gonna see this here on television. They start to walk, attempting to appear like a normal like two people just walking down the street. Nothing weird to see here, and Carol's like, okay, at the end of the alley, you're gonna let me go. She's not asking, she's telling, and he goes sure, and then he's like kind of looks at her like affectionately and says, I wouldn't want you to slow me down, right, Like he's thinking her in his way for like her

Yeah, the cop goes past her, the cop shoots Duncan, the cop starts running. She Florence Griffith joiners past the cop and gets to Duncan. First point of order. No bullet holes in that jacket when she rolls him over, and it was absolutely shot three times in the back. But whatever. We cut to Chicago General Hospital. I don't know what the name of the hospital.

We're now back in Los Angeles.

Yeah, Carol rides in on top of Duncan, living out the dream of every theater girl in her teens. At that moment, she's still doing CPR as doctor Doug Ross played by George Clooney and doctor Kerry Weaver played by Laura Innes tell her that they've got it from here. Remember, Carol is suspended. She is not currently an active employee at this hospital.

Also, okay, this is a small thing. It's not actually that small of a thing. But she's come in from outside, she's come in from the street. These other doctors have scrubbed in. Yeah, and they're like they're wearing gloves, they're wearing protection here, and like none of them are wearing masks, which now I notice it, but like back then, who would have noticed that? And of course you can't have them wearing masks all the time because you can't cover

And she keeps running back and forth in between the two because James is in one room and Duncans in the other. Yeah, she just keeps running back and forth, like getting.

Her bloody hands all over everything. She gets blood on the wall, blood on the doors, blood on herself. And I'm like, girl, yeah, you are not scrubbed in. You are making this war. You're gonna give everyone tetanus. Yeah? Stop it.

So an enormous amount of medical jargon happens, and as we were describing, Carol cannot seem to allow her colleagues just fucking do their jobs. Both Ross and Weaver are basically like, we've got this go away.

Carol like, yeah, She actually has this moment where she kind of tries to go in over Ross's head because he's not a surgeon. He's a doctor, but not a surgeon the ways like Eric Lasall's character is. And so she's like, can we get that guy in here? Yeah, like that guy needs to be here, not you. You're not qualified. It's the implication. She doesn't actively say that, but I was like, oh damn, because I know a little bit of backstory and if you've noticed, I don't know if

I didn't realize that because I didn't know that Ross wasn't a surgeon. I actually didn't quite understand what was going on.

So, yeah, he's not He's a doctor, but not a surgeon. He and Anthony Edwards. I think this is so I'm literally remembering this from thirty years ago, so I could be getting this wrong. Are doctors, and then Eric Lasel, Noah Wiley and I think maybe Laura Innes are all the surgeons, okay, or maybe that's Gloria Ruben's doesn't matter. The whole point is she is basically telling her boyfriend to not touch her new boyfriend. That is the weirdness that I'm getting from this moment. Gotcha.

Yeah, Finally she's pushed aside and she watches as her colleagues take over.

Yeah. We cut to later and we hear from some of the hospital staff that James is likely to survive his injuries, believe it or not, even though James was shot with a shotgun, He's actually probably gonna make it. Duncan, on the other hand, died on the operating table because doctor George Clooney didn't know what he was doing. Yeah. Carol walks out of the operating room. She finds Angie

Working actively against me. Carol walks to get a drink of water, and at the water fountain she finds doctor Ross her BOFE.

George Clooney. Yeah.

Doctor Ross asks how she is. She says she's fine. She apologizes for her behavior in the operating room. He says it's fine to worry about it. He is walking with a cane at this point. Show there's backstory, there, no idea.

I want to say he was shot in the leg at some point when I kind of remember this, but I don't remember. Uh.

He says that's okay, and he walks away, and she turns to see Duncan's body on the operating table, very exposed. Like I get that this is just blocking and it has to be the way it is. But like she's at the water fountain, has this conversation. She literally turns around down a short hallway to a wide open operating

I thought of that because they were like, yeah, they shady.

But not even a shadow of the balls because the shot was straight up, straight up, straight up the alley.

Straight up the alleyway. He had a towel covering his genitals, and I was like, I'm like, you know. He was like, come on, you guys, come on. How Vanilla is American television?

I thought we were boundary pushing here.

They show my genitals on Scottish TV for children.

Yeah, that that is the most popular. My cock and balls bouncing up and down in hypnotic way is the most popular children's.

Television on Saturday morning in Scottish. It is I watch my absolutely every child in Scotland.

So she sadly gathers her stuff and she heads out of the hospital.

On her way out, doctor Weaver, Laura Innes's character, stops her and asks if she needs anything. Are you okay? And Carol says no, I'm fine. Again, She's like very stoic, there's no like hint of like, well, that was a shitty day I just had. And Weaver says, we miss you around here, and she smiles and she says I

Can you imagine seeing next to this person being.

Like, honestly, I think I have girl once. I am sure. I've sat next to a bloodsoaked person on the subway and been like, you know what, no questions.

I did a show once where I at the end of it, I had blood on me and I didn't like I had like a little bit behind my ear, so when I washed my face, I didn't get it. I was odd way home and the person sitting next to me is like suddenly started staring at me and like and I was like what. Then she was like are you okay? And I was like, oh, it's I'm sorry, it's fake. I promise I'm not like bleeding out in

So I was stabbed in the neck earlier. Don't worry about it.

Fine, I'm a New Yorker.

I'm fine, bitch, mind your business. Did I talk to you? You had to take your earbuds out and you're like, what what?

Rude?

Rude?

All right?

Everyone? So that is Er season three, episode fifteen. I think that's right, the long way around.

Stick around.

We're going to play a couple of commercials here and we're gonna come back. We're gonna give you our random observations and final rankings.

And we're back. Here's my perfect Polish accent. Are you ready for it? Yeah? Give us some random observations. Damn it, I think that was Irish.

I don't think that was anything. You know, that was like old Norse.

It was old Norse. I I think I just conjured up an old alien god. That was Thor. Hang on, here we go. Nope, got it? Polish accent? Really, I got it. I've spent a lot of time in Poland. I know how to do a Polish accent. Progy, see it perfect? I did it? Yeah, yeah, the selka. You're welcome boo. Yeah, all right, Paul, give us some random observations.

There's just one moment in the beginning. The burglars have just entered. They're yelling at everyone to get down. Everything's just starting up, basically, and there's this moment with mister Douzak, the older check man, where he hasn't gone down to the ground, and the implication that he's just startled, like he hasn't moved because he's just scared to move, and Duncan goes right up to me. He's like, get down or one of them. I don't even know which one.

Get down, get down, and the guy goes.

And falls and look, I'm not I'm not saying it's bad acting or anything like that. Who knows how you would fucking react, And it's just it's funny because he's totally still and the guy shouts and it's like there was a jump scare for him and then he falls over.

That's how he hurts his wrist. I just want to connect this episode to last week's episode seventh Heaven seventh even. I bet you can't think I can connect the two, but I can. The connective tissue is cushballs. Right bit of nineties ephemera and this one as well. There is a cushball like display on the counter of the store. Cushballs were unescapable.

If that, if this, if this TV show had actually been true to itself. Those keys would have been on a cushball keychain.

Yeah, or she would have She would have staunched someone's blood by sticking cushballs into the wounds.

Forget about the Maxi pads, Get the cushballs.

A uh.

There is a moment where we cut back Angie is doing the CPR and mister Nevotney where she's trying. It's when it's when she's counting the ribs for the chest whatever thing. Again, I don't know what this is supposed to look like. I know nothing. This may be super accurate, but obviously they have Marisol Nichols. She's in frame and mister Nevotney is out of frame, and it just looks like she is pushing way too hard.

I think of that a lot on television shows, where I'm like, are you gonna crack through that person?

Yeah, they've probably had a dummy under so she's probably going to town on it. And like, obviously you're you're your a worked up situation. So again I'm not this is not a criticism. It's just made me go, she's gonna break his ribs.

I just love how everyone just believes Carol when she says she's fine. At the end, she comes in covered in blood from a hostage situation that she has just handled. She is actively trying to save the two men who held her gut at gunpoint, and then they're like are you okays like, I'm fine, yeah, and she just goes home.

I'm just gonna go home.

I'm like, are there no therapists back then? That? Did therapy not exist in the nineties? Was there not like a like a like a doctor someone who was like, hey, girl, let her come into my office and have a cup of tea and talk about the nonsense you just went through.

Laura Innos didn't want to be like, hey, let me pay for your cab ride, don't take the l Let's just get you home.

Don't take the l What the fuck? These people are hard as nails.

Did you notice the sign on the bathroom door.

No.

The sign of the bathroom door in Navatni's market reads employees must wash hands before handling food products, but not otherwise.

Otherwise fine, otherwise playball.

If you're on the deli counter today, wash your hands. But if you're just stocking the shelves.

Just go ahead. I don't care if you were asking, then touch all the cushballs, touch them all, get in there, real massage.

Massage, give the cushballs a scout massage.

All the aspirin. Yeah, in the store. I just have one more. And it's a weird thing. I didn't hit this enough, but like I cannot tell you enough how weird Carol's reaction to Duncan is at the end of the episode, and how much she's like, I have to save his life. I have to save his life. And I'm like you so don't, Yeah, like this a it's not your job. Be like, he's not your boyfriend. Don't

When he grabs him, he pulls off one.

Of his shoes and he puts it in his pocket.

I'm not entirely sure how it makes the trip from the store to.

The to the r Yeah, but I'm because because the kid didn't go to that hospital, the kid went to another hospital.

I'm ninety nine percent sure it's the kid sneaker.

Okay, that makes so much more sense because I thought she was like taking Duncan's.

Shoes and that bron and I was like.

What the fuck? You're like, where are the police? You're not you can't just take evidence? What's wrong with you? There's a like many crimes have been committed?

Yeah, okay, last one another signage moment. Oh no, there's a sign on the wall of and look. I don't want to I don't want to begrudge anyone their dietary habits. The sign is advertising government inspected pork neck bones three for a dollar forty nine.

Okay, what's that for? I mean you've had polish food?

Yeah, for hamburgers.

Sure.

I think they use it in quite a few things. To be fair, I love Polish food. I think it's delicious. I do love a parogi. But but yeah, no, that doesn't surprise me at all. That's just like the most polish thing ever.

Three for a dollar forty nine.

That's a deal. It's a fucking deal.

And it's not neck. It's not neck, it's neck bones. You're getting the bone.

Yeah, you're gonna make soup. You're gonna make some delicious like old world soup from the from the from back in the old country. And it's gonna be delicious, all right, Paul, how should we rank this episode of er er is divined to er is human to her? Is divine to her? Is human to divine?

One to ten times Erica was right?

Oh hmm. I still feel good about that one. I've been feeling warm and cuddly, you know what. I don't care. It was such a good one. I don't care that it's Paul thirty five hundred Erica one that I got one. I got one.

Remember when you didn't see this version of the notebook that had them die at the end.

Yeah, well that one's not on me. That's what I was using. How about one to ten fuckable mad hatters? I didn't know I had that in me. I didn't know that was a kink I had. But guess what, guess what, hop on.

You're still learning and that's the most important part of staying young, you know what.

Yeah, I like I may be middle aged, but I'm still learning about myself. I still find out every day more about myself.

Yeah, and that's beautiful. Thank you, and you share it with us. We we are the lucky ones.

I thank you. I appreciate.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely one to ten mcguyverd tracheotomies, so many of that I never want to see again.

I think I could do one. I'm pretty sure I could. Look you just you cut the hole open right like where the where the soft spot is. Yeah, stick a stry in. There's sometimes they make they show someone's sucking blood out.

Oh I haven't seen that.

And then because you have to get the clot out, so you suck the clot out and then and then you put a little bit of tape over it and the person can breathe through their neck. It's I've seen it often enough. I'm pretty sure I could do one.

You guys listeners, it's been a great journey, but the podcast is now over.

I honestly thought up for a minute there. If you guys think those were fake, like wretched noises, they aren't.

He was.

He was fighting the urge not to vomit while I was describing under a trinky out of me. Good lord, how about one to ten. I'll bring it back. I'll get it back for you, Paul ready, Yeah, one to ten Scottish children shows starring Ewan McGregor's Penis and Balls.

That is, to date my favorite children's show.

Yeah, yeah, what is it? It's called McGregor's Genitals.

Is Genital's play a farmer?

I'm sorry I got the name wrong. My bad, My bad. I've seen so many episodes you think i'd know. The name is called Captain mcgrets genitals. Oh is he a ship captain? He's a ship captain Penis?

I mean, of course the.

Genitals are are a ship captain. It runs a very tight ship. He has a little sword and scabbard.

And Alan Cummings Genitals play the first mate.

Right, yes, Mattie, Yes, yes, yes, Matiem Accumming.

Honestly, two actors that I truly believe will drop their drawers at a moment's notice.

They will show children their genitals, if you ask, if.

You ask, if you do it, unless they're not, they're not assaulters.

You're gonna get They're just you have to sign some consent forms. And then I feel like we're gonna throw Tilda Swinton in there as well, an another Scottish. Great she will show you her labia if you ask nicely.

And absolutely absolutely one to ten.

Yes, that one. That yeah, because you know why, Paul, because I took a podcast or do you want to go first? Should I go first? I'll go first on this one. I think at ages very well. It does. It's I didn't realize it really at the time because I wasn't paying attention to this stuff. But You Are is a pretty diverse show for especially for like nineteen ninety six, so many shows back then were lily white. It takes place in Chicago. The show reflects what Chicago

And also like the Maricel Nichols is Latina, yes, and Javier is is al Latin man. And then I cut this out, but like her, she has this brief scene with like her postman or something.

Yeah, her male man black. It looks like Chicago.

They're actively populating the show with multiple ethnicities.

Yeah, it really does look like Chicago, and so that's very very cool. The strong strong female character. Like the whole shit, This whole episode revolves around Julianna Margaalize's character. And even in memory of the show, again I have not I have not watched it in like thirty years, but like Laura Innes, I remember having quite a lot to do, and she's she's gay on the show. Oh I forgot that. Yeah, I totally forgot that. And we have a gay and again and a gay yeah, a

Laura Ennes's character uses I'm not sure what the right word would be, but like a crutch. Oh, yes, on the show, so she is she is a disabled person. Yes, I don't know if that's the PC term anymore, but like very casual representation, and I'm sure there are storylines around it.

Actually, no, I don't even again I am remembering. If you've seen the show more recently, please let us know. But I actually have a very strong memory of like she appears she's she's using the crutch maybe one person, maybe like Noah Wiley's character. The pilot follows Noah Whiley's character on his first day at the hospital, so he's kind of the intro.

Like and I don't think she's in the pilot, she joins later.

Oh, I thought she was in the pilot. Maybe I'm wrong.

I think she is.

I could be wrong, but anyway, I just don't remember them making a thing of it like at all. And it was she's she's obviously extraordinarily capable. She's probably the most capable doctor they have here, right, and like that's fantastic, so and again it all seemed very effortless and like no one called it out. No one was like, but I am the black doctor and therefore, like none of that shit I don't think happened in the show.

You know what, this reminded me of a little bit now that we're talking about Fame, the way we talked about how Fame was just very casually.

Just normal, just like, this is what Chicago looks like, This is what New York looks like, This is what like cities look like in America. Like just fucking be cool everyone. So yeah, I'm gonna say this age is extremely well. I also love you and McGregor. Sure, that's why we did this episode. I actually wish we'd picked a different episode because I liked this episode very much, but it was very like it's a bottle episode, and I kind of wish we'd done one that had more

How about you, Erica, It's a two, absolute monster. No, it ages really really well casual representation. I tried to look up how many gay characters there were in YAR, but everything just points you to Laura and it's his character, so I'm like, I give up. I don't care that much. But obviously there were gay people on AR, and I know there was a whole storyline about her coming out

That if I yeah, I was already in college. I definitely wasn't watching the show.

Yeah, I don't really have any notes. It's it's obviously over the top, but it's a nighttime soap. We asked for nighttime soaps, like, what do you.

Want y'all delivered?

Yeah, what do you want? A low key nighttime soap? What a snooze?

Honestly, this was the most low key one we've done, yeah, this month, because the one that's like the most like a like a non soap, like a quote unquote normal TV, like.

This is this is Deli's or markets get robbed? This happens like does it happen with the you know, like obviously it's a sequence of events that gets a little insane, but like it's basically.

Does it get robbed by by gorgeous scotsman? No, not all the time, but you never know, guys, but you may get lucky, but.

Erica gets plundered by them regularly. Yeah. I really don't have any notes on it. It's it's a perfect ages, perfectly well from what I can tell, I'll give it a ten out of ten.

Nurses, nurses, oaths. I forgot to do it.

Yeah, because I have no notes.

No, and everything we talk about, I'm not really going to give a palate cleanser on this one. I'm sure Gray's Anatomy US more fun to.

Watch, Yeah, I'm not always.

I feel like Grey's Anatomy has at least like a little more of a sense of humor than ER.

I think it's sexier from what I can.

Tell, And I believe ER took itself very seriously, which you know, as it should. It's about a fucking emergency room. Yeah, I don't think I need to give a pilot cleanser.

I don't feel need to give a power cleanser. This episode does pass the Bechdel test. But hypothetically speaking, if all of the named female characters, of which you would have like missus navatni uh, Carol obviously an Angie right.

Well, and Laura Innes, isn't it as well?

Oh yeah, doctor weavers in right. So, But let's just this is purely a mental exercise in the shop. If they only talked about the burglars the whole time, is that acceptable because they I mean, they're not going to talk about like their day during.

Yeah, no, because they're not talking about the men in their lives are talking about the situation, right.

Okay, that's what I thought too, Like it's they're not talking about romance or love.

They're not like that guy's hot, the Scottish one.

Although how they didn't talk about it.

Imagine if there was like that guy, the Scottish one's kind of hot. He shot your husband, Well, yeah, I'm single now my husband's dead.

If Angie's like, if he cut his fucking hair, I would I will fuck us out of this.

I would climb it like a tree. Yes, but no. There is also there's a conversation with Carol and her mother at the beginning, although her mother's not named, but and then there's a conversation with Carol and doctor Weaver at the end, and Carol and Angie.

At the end, and I mean they talk about the keys with missus Navatni, Like that's not about a man, you know, So yeah, it totally does. I was just thinking about that. So, Erica, that's the end of our show. Everyone listening. If you would be so kind, you can follow us on social media. We are on blue Sky, we are on Threads, we are on Instagram. If you want to know our monthly themes in advance. Instagram is the platform where we post those and accept requests on them.

Leave a review.

You can only rate. Let me know you rate it. If you want a tope bag, let me know. I'll send it to you. I'm just trying to get more ratings, more ratings and review. If you always thought, oh, I don't know how to do that, this is too much, just go to the show notes and I have put a link there for ratethipodcast dot com. Slash that age Well and it will take you right to all the relevant links.

That aged Well is produced and edited by Paul Keola. We would like to think kay So, Joe, Miggy, Kelly, Shannon, Teresa and all of our patrons, even the ones you voted for Ali McBeal because they remembered that creepy dancing baby and they really needed a heartake on it.

The creepy dancing baby came up a lot in the comments. I mean, yeah, co ed bathrooms and creepy dancing baby.

The co ed bathroom thing I think is great, progressive, fabulous, and no problems with that. The creepy dancing baby. We really should talk about Ali McBeal someday, but that's not today. Today, we're talking about er we're airing today. Thank you to our patrons. Thank you to everyone for reaching out and letting us know what you want to hear. If next time you thought, geez, I really wish they'd talked about Ali McBeal. I wish I had more of a say in some of this. Guess what you can. You can

You may not be running to your YouTube right now to try to find episodes of Captain McGregor's Generals.

Captain McGregor's Genitals, and first maybe Alan mccummings General.

Alan.

I added a mic there too, for fun, Just for.

Fun, Alan Cummings Mcgeneral's m Genitals, mc cummings Genitals, Genitals, mccomming Genital's Mac coming.

So if you want to keep this going, keep this party going, head on over to our Patreon, Patreon dot com slash that aged Well podcast to find out more.

Speaking of which, some tears on the Patreon come with the thanks wa podcast character. And today we are hearing from the one, the only, the iconic, Keanu Reeves.

Hi.

I'm Keanu Reeves, and I'm here to thank Robin for listening to that Aged Well. Robin, I've taken some time out of my rehearsal schedule to come and say thanks for listening. What am I in rehearsals for you?

Ask?

I'm gonna play one of the characters. I don't know which one cause I forgot.

I don't know which one could I forgot to look it up in Broadways Waiting for God, Oh next year with my good friend Alex Winter.

Look it up. That's a real fucking thing that's happening.

So we're doing this play on Broadway in the original French. It's gonna be a cool So I just want to say, bon jour, Robin and much el mercies for Eku te Ah that.

Aged well the jay kone like Kung Fu. All right, man, I gotta go.

There's Une Bombay Dons.

The bus, not Bombay Dons the bush, no bus. Someone someone erected the bus.

Mercy the bus for Kenu forgot to look up what character he's playing before he started talking hard. That's hard. It could happen, could happen to any Keanu, not just that Kean, could happen to literally any Keanu. Yeah, but you know what I appreciate about Kanu? Is it Aragon? Is it Vladimir?

He worked through it. He didn't let he didn't let it pull him off.

His because he not only forgot which character he's playing and waiting for goodo, he forgot the names of the characters in Waiting for GOODO. Yeah.

It was a real moment. It was a real moment for an actor to come through. All right, Erica, any any final thoughts on er.

I need five CC's of podcast stat that's very funny. By the way, Yeah, actually happened to me. They said, Picky, yuppy spring Chicken it look stop helping. You're making it worse now.

I'm not only forgetful, I'm offended.

I'm old and decrepit and apparently not Picky. I get it. I'm Dusty, I get it. I'm a fucking loser. Shut up.