Collateral - Jazz, Unanswered Questions & a Neon Silver Suit

So I was driving with my brother the other day and we have we were driving them around the highway and there's this car next to us, and I see the car and it has the bumper sticker. You just got passed by a girl with like the kissy lips emoji on it. Okay, what is that doing? What are we doing with that? Like? If that if that car passes a truck that has truck nuts on it, what kind of weird heteronormative toxicity vortex is going to explode? Let me tell you a little

bit about the woman who put that on her car. Please he help me, help me understand because I was confused. She will offer to plan your bachelorette party. She will not do so, okay. She will come at the last minute pick you up, hire a stripper off of Craigslist who turns out to be your own cousin. And you're like, I don't want this at all, and she's like, do it. I paid him. Whooooo. She can best be described by her co workers as a lot a lot. I got that, I said a lot from the car. Yep,

yep, yep. Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues. Okay, much like Regina, much like Regina George. Yeah, and her favorite milkshake is just a fifth of vodka. Okay, all right, I have a picture. I have a clear picture. I'm understanding now more that because it's like, are you trying to shame me because I'm not driving fast enough? That like

you're you're you're saying like girls are bad drivers. That's inherent in what your A bumper sticker says, like you should be ashamed that a girl drove faster than you, which implies that I should drive faster than a girl because she's a girl. And also her relationship with her father is perfect. Hey, and this is that aged well, yesterday's pop culture. Today two thousand and four, we're the top five TV shows and I am not making this up.

Were number five CSI Miami okay, Number four, Desperate Housewives okay, Number three American Idol but on Wednesday nights, just Wednesday Night one, okay, Number two American Idol, but on Tuesday nights, we really did like American Idol and number one old school CSI Original Flavor CSIS. That's a bleak Outlook, what a shit year for television. How do you think Desperate Housewives? Aged I don't know. You know, I can't really say that I

saw it. I watched. I know about it because it's in the zeitgeist, but I don't think I ever watched more than the pilot episode. I definitely watched a lot of it, if not all of it. Oh, how do you think it aged? I'm guessing not well. Oh really, I met CSI has aged perfectly. Yeah, no doubt, no doubt, Erica. We are doing movies from the year two thousand and four in this

January. But before we get today's movie, we are going to have to read a five strapple podcast review to remind everyone that they should be leaving them. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you haven't berated people enough in a while. We'll see if this movie gets me there. Let's get back there. Let's get back to berating. Today's review comes from Taffia Darling. Taffeta Darling, excellent if you put it, if you put a comment in between it, it's kind of it's fun too, Taffia Darling, or or or

Hellaies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage. Taffaa Darling. Yes, or this or this Taffaa Darling, or give me your Jaffada Darling. Oh yeah, you're talking to a child there. To be clear, that was a five year old child that was a beauty pageant winner named Taffia a haha. Their review reads, thuslie new huge fan. I love this podcast, and I'm furious I didn't hear about it sooner. But we're so happy that you're here. Now, be furious. Live in your fury. Now. I'm

ripping through the back cattle at what's probably an alarming pace. Listening to Paul and Erica feels like having the most fun and silly chat with old friends. Maybe because I'm there exact a girl, Were you born in June and or July? Because you really are exactly You're really close then, and it brings up so much nostalgia and great memories. I hope they have as much fun recording this podcast as it is a delight to listen to. Oh it's nice,

sweet, I do have fun recording this podcast, you too. I have fun spending time with you, and I have fun reading reviews from people like Taffa Darling. You know, you know, you know who else Taffa Darling is. Is she Candy Darlings like less tragic sister? Maybe you know what possibly possibly you know what she did? The Warhol didn't want her in the studio, just like you know what, Taffina, you are too normal, Taffa, you are too grounded. You are too grounded. You have

too you have a good head on your shoulders. That is not what is required here. That's someone who craves drugs. Taffa Darling is a patron. Oh, they are a patriot of that age. Well and everyone listening should join them in being a patron. We have a Patreon. Go get some go get some benefits. It's like our Warholy in factory. That's right. There's a lot of drugs on there, but a lot less emotional abuse,

that's right, I mean not all, not no emotional abuse. Well, we want to have fun, just a lot less, just less, exactly exactly. Taffaa Darling, thank you so much for this five star review. If you would like at that Agel Topeg, please just let me know. You can email us, You can contact us on Patreon. Okay, you have a direct line to us. Yeah, and I will send that off for you. Uh, Erica, what is the movie that we are doing today? On this the third Monday of January twenty twenty four. Okay,

dooky. Today's film is the two thousand and four of course noir action thriller Collateral. Collateral, Yes. This was written by Stuart Beattie and directed by Michael Mann. It stars mister Thomas Cruse uh huh, Jamie Fox, Jada Pinkett, Smith, Mark Ruffalo, Peter Burr, and Bruce McGill. We haven't done a cruise in a minute. We haven't. It was time for a cruise. Time. We cruise needs to cruise on by every once in

a while. When when we were looking for movies for this month, because we kind of wanted to keep this this this theme of surprise, so we didn't put it out on Instagram. We kind of chose all of these. We said we need something dumb in action y yeah. And then and then I said, oh we have we have a Thomas cruise chi Ching. Yeah. Yeah, put it in the bank, chi Ching Indeed. Collateral was nominated for two Academy Awards, Wild Wild Wild, Best Film Editing that one

I can see actually okay, yeah, sure that one. This is this is tightly edited, and Best Supporting Actor for Jamie FOXX. Look I'm not saying he's not good. Yeah, I'm just saying, really for this this

one, how thin on the ground were we in movies? But what's funny though, is he actually did win an Oscar that year because the same year that he made Ray and he won the Oscar for that, which, yes, that's the that's the appropriate that's the appropriate movie for him to win an Oscar for this not so this must be an instance of someone riding their own coattails, like because we just did two movies that both had Rachel mccownan's and

them. Now, Jamie Fox was double nominated this year in The Accounty, Like were there's seven actors working in only five people in two thousand and four? What was going on? Everything else was gone? Anyway, best supporting is shocking, shocking because he's good. He's good. Yeah, he's no one in this movie's bad. Absolutely, everyone's very good. But the movie is slight. Let's put it exactly. Yes, that's a nice way of

putting it. To prepare for Collateral Erica, Tom Cruise reportedly delivered FedEx packages in a crowded LA market and tried to help people try to learn how to make people not notice him while Jamie Fox quote unquote trained as a cab driver. Okay, this is stupid. Although wait, I wonder what market he was at, and I would have killed because you know what happened was people who one hundred percent recognized him and they went, they walked to it.

They're like, is that Tom Cruise. It's going to hand me out packing copy of Dianetics, trying to get me to take Dianetics? And what is training as a cab driver? Isn't that just driving? I don't know. I don't know. I like, I'm sure there's more to it. I'm sure there's Yeah, there's but like stuff you need to know. Are you filmed the movie? I think there's buttons and switches. I don't know there are buttons and switches in this cab in this movie that I genuinely did not

know what to call. I was like, this is just a I'm just gonna call it a computer because that is the function in the movie. I don't know what it is. Also, I think when you say trained as a cab driver, Jamie Foxx spent one hour at a depot and was like, what does this do? Okay, huh what does this do? Cool? Thank you so much for your help, brilliant, here's your check for one thousand dollars. Collateral has an eighty six percent critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes

and an eighty four percent audience score, pretty well matched. That's high. I'm not shocked by the audience score. I had generally had a good time watching the movie critically. I would I would say like sixty percent. Yeah, here's my journey watching this movie. Yeah, I think you said this earlier today. It has pedigree. Yeah, I thought that because it was nominated for an Oscar. I remember it was nominated for you. I remember

it was in the Oscar conversation. Yeah, like maybe a possible Best Picture nominee that year, right, And so I in my mind thought this was going to be a much better movie than it is. And I watched half of it thinking like being really disappointed in the movie that I'm watching. I'm like, where is the great movie? I was promised, where's the prestige? And then my brain clicked into no, dumb, dumb, this is just a stupid, fun action movie. That's how you need to be watching

this. And I had a way better ride the second after movie as soon as I as soon as I was like stop looking for this to be good. Uh huh, stop looking for meaning in anything anyone is doing. And I was like, oh right, it's just a dumb action movie. Here's my hot take. Okay, it shouldn't be Tom Cruise. Okay, Tom Cruise is two good. He's too good for this role because the role is so underwritten and it makes no sense, and Tom Cruise is trying very hard

to give it like gravitas. Yea, this needs a Jason Statham. Okay, this needs this needs maybe the Rock Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Yeah, this needs the kind of actor who's just like, you know what, don't worry about it, I'm charming. Just eat your popcorn and watch. This is the action equivalent of of Ryan Gosling from last week. Maybe, But even Ryan Gosling would have been way too oh my god, the type of

role. Oh I see, I see, yeah, because Goslin would have been way too intense, way to I mean, they did make that movie and it's called Drive actually, but yeah, so yeah, eighty six is too high. I think if you really look at the movie, it falls apart on quite a few levels. Yeah, there's there's some very odd choices, but it is fun it's fun and like again, it's not Tom Cruise's fault. He is very good, but he's the wrong kind of good. I need a different kind. I need someone who's I don't have to take

this seriously. Huh, Erica, Well you said you have never seen the movie before this. Yes, I saw the movie yesterday for the first time. Right, I also saw the movie yesterday for the first time. I did the breakdown for this one, and the first time through, I think I had a very similar experience to you. I'm expecting something with a little gravitas, exactly what you said. Yeah, the second time through, I got to watch it more like you're saying you should watch it. Enjoyed it

much more. Don't put too much on this movie. No, you know what replaced Tom Cruise with a nineteen eighty seven Arnold Schwarzeninger. Yeah, all right, Erica. The tagline for Collateral was it started like any other night. You know, I like that? You like that? I actually do. Okay, it's ominous, it's eerie it once you understand the basic premise of the movie. Yes, yes, total sense. What do you think I think it's good. I think it's good. It's and it is a

tagline. Yeah, it's an actual tag actual tagline. It's better than the title of the movie. Collateral makes almost no sense because at one point Jamie Fox says, I'm just collateral. He says the thing and the thing, which I usually laugh at, but I'm like, there are a lot of people in this movie that are collateral. You say, everyone is collateral except Tom Cruise, except Tom Cruise and one other person who will talk about later. But like, yeah, everyone's collab. You're just one piece of the

collateral pie. Yeah, and you get off pretty easy as far as collateral goes. Yeah, you know, like there's people that were bigger collateral than you. Shall I read the iTunes synopsis all Right. Max played by Jamie Fox, is a cab driver who hopes to someday open his own limo company. One night behind the wheel begins promisingly when he picks up Annie Jada Pinkett Smith, an attorney working with the federal government who is attractive, friendly,

and gives him her business card after paying her fare. Max thinks his luck is getting even better when his next fair, vincent Tom Cruise, offers him several hundred dollars in cash if he'll be willing to drop him off, wait and pick him up at five different spots over the course of the evening. Max agrees, but he soon realizes Vincent isn't just another guy with errands to

run. Vincent is an assassin's done dum who has been paid to murder five people who could put the leaders of a powerful drug trafficking ring behind bars in an upcoming trial. As circumstances force Max to do Vincent's bidding, that Cabby has to find the way to prevent Vincent from killing again and save his own skin, a task that becomes especially crucial when he discovers Annie is one of the names on Vincent's list. Wow, spoiler a word. Uh this is

terrible like that. Hey, way too long, way too long, way too long. The synopsis should just read cab driver picks up a man with a with an interesting job. Yeah, chaos ensues, Yeah, period, done done, desave a way the ending of the movie. This is the this is the entire movie. Yeah, this is the cliffs notes this film of this film. What you just want? Exactly what you said. Cab driver picks up an assassin whoops, whoops. Yeah. Actual synopsis, Actual

synopsis is this film features an antagonist so evil. Uhuh? He explains what jazz is to Jamie Foxx. Yeah. The minute a character in a film starts to explain jazz to another person, another grown ass human being, I'm out, I'm done. You can die a million deaths. It's so interesting that you pulled that out. Erica straight cisgender, probably mostly white men who are screenwriters out there. I am begging you stop explaining jazz. Find another

metaphor for freedom, find another one. It's a I remember when I was in kindergarten and I used to color inside the lines, and one day my hand slipped and I realized I didn't have to stay in the lines. Done. There you go. I just came up with one. It's bad, but at least it's fucking new. No more jazz. Speaking of Ryan Gosling, that's with the moment I was out of Lalla land, the moment he

starts to explain jazz to as though she didn't understand what it was. Yeah, I was like, no, I'm done, I'm done, no more. If you ever want to antagonize me, just me just start explaining jazzy me the only kind of jazz I want to hear about is the all that kind? When bb Norrth sings about it in Chicago, that's it. That's the only kind, the only kind. Or if I've just been like,

if I've come out of a coma, I have to relearn everything. And you're like, hey, do you want to hear about this niche form of music that you're not gonna like that much? Let me explain jazz to here. Yeah, and then the answer will be no, I don't want to hear about that. I have to learn everything. Yeah, No, I'm sorry. Let's let's talk about this whole American history thing. Let's do that

one first. No more jazz. Oh my god. The minute Tom Cruise starts to explain jazz, I was like, you know what, I was on your side when you were just a hold like heartless assassin. We were all rooting for you. But now fuck you. Go to team Jamie Fox, Team cab Driver. All right, everyone stick around, We will be right back. After these brief messages to take you through collateral and we're back. We open an lax Vincent played by Tom Cruise, Thomas Mapother Cruz.

I noticed it is it Mapother? I don't know mapother mypothetiter Apothecary. Someone gave me the apotheitter. He does not like Apothecary's I does not like that. Vincent walks through the crowds and eventually bumps into Jason Statham. I love that Jason Statham is in this movie, but that's who needed to be They needed Swiss parts. The two deferentially say excuse me to each other, and

they continue on their way. This is apparently an easter egg because Collateral takes place in the sh Shared Universe with The Transporter, which is Stathum's franchise. That it is also written by Stuart Patty. That's why it exists. It is no bearing on the plot. I'm learning this in real time. Yeah, oh I didn't know. Well, but they do exchange bags at this

point. Sure, so there is You know what's funny is I genuinely when I was like, Wow, what a small part for Jason Statham, I thought I would have thought he was a bigger star by two thousand and four than to do some random cameo. But then there are other cameos in the film by famous people, like a lot of them, and I was like, oh, that's just Jason Statham doing a favor for my person someone. Yeah, oh okay, I think Jason Statham was on like the British national

diving team. I'm not surprised. If you want to look up Jason Statham and Espiedo, there is ample video on the Internet of him diving. Why am I not surprised? Excuse me, I'll be right back. Woo. You know, I didn't think i'd like young Jason Statham as much as I like current Jason Statham. But I was wrong. Yeah, I was wrong. Young Jason Stathan was. He can get two great tastes that tastes great together. Holy moly. Yeah. Speaking of great tastes, how do we

feel about Tom Cruise's look in this movie. It's like scruffles, mic salt and pepper. I don't love it. I love it. I get it. He's trying to I think he's trying to blend in right and be sure incognito. The way to do that is to not wear a suit that matches your hair right. You don't. You definitely don't want he looks like you're wearing a superhero costume. You don't want to be monochromatic and highlighter. At the same time. Yeah, and like he's way too bright and way too

dim all at once. Huh. It's confusing to the eyes. Yeah, your eye goes straight to him. Yeah. Yeah. He's got like salt and pepper hair, salt and pepper hair and like a five o'clock shadow, which I actually it's very it's very groomed, so I actually find that very I can find that very attractive. But it's just surprisingly not his look. I guess maybe because his features are his cheekbones and his chin is so sharp. It's like you don't need that like that usually looks good on people.

Round your faces to give them like cheekbones and define their face. I don't know. Also, the suit is doing him no favors. The suit is so boxing. They have put him in a box and he is four and a half feet tall. We need cut people, the shorts need slim cut suits. I'm sorry, we look like fire hydrants if you put us in something boxy. Yeah. So he and Jason Statham exchange. He looks like old timey doctor bags. Yeah, like like they're gonna go do old surgery

on the prairie or something. And with that out of the way, we cut to La and a cab depot, where Max Durocher said, sure, Jamie Fox is getting his cab ready for the day, meticulously cleaning it. You know, I appreciate someone who cleans. That made me very happy. That made me feel good about any time I've ever sat in a cab. I was like, I really hope someone wiped that down before I got in it. He slides a picture of a tropical island into a sun visor before

heading out on a shift. We watch a brief montage of his workday, including another cameo by Debbie Mazar as one of his passengers, and this all and now I have to ask you because this is the moment where we get to hear and look. I don't have the ear for this, so I could be totally wrong. But Jamie Fox speaks Spanish. Oh yeah, because at some point he stops at like a taco stand orders lunch. Yeah. It sounded bad, bad, Okay, it's so funny. I actually watched

it twice because I was like, oh, maybe my ear. I wasn't paying attention because I understood the other man. I just didn't understand Jamie FOXX. Yeah, And I was like, hell, let me watch me again, and he clearly learned phonetically that morning. Yeah, how to save the line whatever it was he said, right, And I was like, oh, that sounds bad. That does not sound good. It was bad enough that I caught it that. I was like that. It sounded like he was saying like, uh oh, no, tortilla, poor favor. And

I thought it was going to come back later in the movie. I think they were trying to imply that he was fluent in Spanish, right, I think it's just is meant to imply he's a man of the people. Yeah, but there he comes up later to other Spanish speakers, and I thought he was going to have a moment where he overheard something in Spanish and understood them, and they didn't think he did. None of that comes back. No, is just we are writing a far better film. This is just

color than the one that is happening. It's mood. So he eventually picks up Annie played by Jada Pinkett Smith at dusk and drives her downtown. Can I say I forget because she's such a figure in the culture lately, I forgot that she's a fucking great actress. Yeah, she's very good she's so good in this. I was like, Oh, you should do that and just keep your mouth shut about your life. Yes, stop talking, Stop telling us things we didn't ask. Stop telling us about your life we don't

want to know. Yeah. Yeah, she's really charming in this and I understand immediately why he's attracted to her. And she and Jamie Fox have this one scene. They have to do a lot of work in this scene, and the two of them are so it's really quite impressive actually if you watch it from like a technical standpoint, because he's driving her, so they're not even looking at each other. Yeah, you're not even getting to like make eyes at each other. It's two people that have to make a connection and

they don't really get to even really see each other that much. It's very impressive work actually from both of them. Now, we made fun of this in Halloween, so we must make fun of this in this movie. Did you notice he picks her up and it's dusk ish. Yeah, And when he pulls out of Lax it is nighttime. The sun didn't go down. The sun like the sun went into free fall and it just went down. Yeah, suddenly it is nighttime. So Annie is wrapped up in her work.

She's giving orders on her phone. She's directing Max on what road she wants them to take to get her to her destination downtown, and Max kind of politely advises her that, you know, I think we should do this other route instead. I'm sure people who watch this in LA are like, no, it's all wrong. I have no idea what this means. Whole scene is the Californian sketch. Yeah, that's all I can think of.

When they're like, I'm gonna take the five to the ten, to the three to the two, and I'm like, oh, there's the Californians. No, take these road to this road to Vine in Hollywood. I'm like, I don't know this, this is us. When we're like that building isn't downtown. That building's on seventy sixth Street and same thing. So Max like kind of is like, look, why don't we take my route. I'll give you a free ride if I'm not right, I don't know what

the metric is for this. I guess if they get caught in traffic, he loses. I guess, yes, if it's less than thirty minutes or less like a pizza. Yeah, she agrees you can see she's a bit charmed. He's not doing this annoyingly, he's being very like charming with that. That's true. That is a gift. That is a gift when you can tell a passenger they're wrong about the way they think they're going to their destination, and when that mail driver contend, the fil can tell the female

passenger yeah, and not make it seem like you're an asshole. You're not man explaining kudos Max. Yeah. Yeah. We cut to them driving through downtown. Max clearly has been proven right, and she kind of has this wry expression on her face and he's like and she says well, and he goes, no, no, I just got lucky with the lights. And she's like, no, you were right and I was wrong. Enjoy that. Celebrate your rightness Max. Okay, So the movie continues on with this

idea that Max is like a superhuman cab driver. Yeap, Like he's the best cab driver. He is a savant, not an idiot. He's just a savant. Yeah. He has the mozart of cab driving right, Like he's that gay. He has Google Maps in his head. This movie gave Google the idea for Google Maps. Yeah, he's doing that whole beautiful mind thing, the whole like math three D math. He goes into his mind palace the whole time, which, by the way, I thought was going

to wind up mattering. I mean it a little bit. It matters because it kind of gets him into the situation, yes, exactly, in no way helps him out of the situation, which is what I was expecting. I'm gonna tell you right now. I was expecting a lot of answers. Yeah, of course for questions that I had, reasonable questions, not not insane like come on, you don't need to know everything. No, no,

no, reasonable plot based questions that will not get answered. So the two continue to flirt and he's becoming more invested in Max as he tells her about his dream. He has this dream of opening a limo company. And then he kind of guesses that she's a lawyer and she's like, oh, what are you psychic? And he's a little he's like a little bit, but you know, he's like, you came in, you were in a suit, you had this he knew like the designers and yeah, wears.

He's like, you're filthy oteiga, you know. So she tells him she has a huge case starting the next day, and she has all this stress. And he tells her, you go on vacation. You know, you need a vacation. And she's scoffed and she's like, when'd the last time you took a vacation. He says, Look, I go on vacation all the time. Every time I need a little break, I look at this picture of this island that I have in my son visor and just breathe.

And I go there for five minutes and it takes me out of myself. Right. They get to her office and he's like, look, you take the picture. She's like, no, I can't do that. He's like, no, take it. You need it more than me. You have a lot of stress coming your way. I can get another I can print another picture off the internet tomorrow. Right. She thanks Sam. She gets

out of the cab. Then she comes back. She knocks on the window and she offers him her car and says, you know, in case you ever need a lawyer or like, you know, you want to argue over cab routes, Yeah, give me a call. She gives him her number. Yeah, excellent meet, cute, smooth move Annie. That's what I'm calling her. That was a smooth mood. Yeah, she is up on her activity. All of her movements are smooth and she barely she breathes too deeply, and whoop, we've moved. That's how smooth it is. A

Activia. The set of an Activita commercials is safe space. I thought about, Oh god, that snl sketch was funny. Every time as Annie heads into her building that she's she stopped in at we see Vincent on his way out that scruffles MC salt and Pepper scruffles mic Salt Pepper, who is super chill and incognito in this big government building wearing full fucking sunglasses indoors. Where my sunglasses at night indoors. Unbelievable. I'm like, this should have been

truthfully, Paul, I skipped over this. I kind of like glided over this because I still thought I was watching a prestige film. Yeah, that did maybe some research that had some logic to it, right, that is not the film we were watching. It is just stupid. This movie pausitives that this assassin is just walking around in a bright gray suit silver really a bright silver suit with somebody with sunglasses on in the middle of the night in

the government building and no one's gonna notice him. So he gets into Max's cab and he gives Max an address and asks how long is is you take? Max? Max's Paul points out who is the og? Google Maps? Yeah, bene than Google Maps, Frank way better. He's never he doesn't add time during the ride. You never have to calibrate Max. He just

knows where he's going. He says seven minutes. Vincent is like seven, not ten, not five, And Max gives him like a longer answer, and he's like, no, it's this for this and this and this. Vincent super impressed with his specificity and asks if he can get a free ride if it's longer, and Max tells him that he already offered his free ride for that night, so he's not doing this game. He's like, you know, Jada Pinkett Smith dude. As they drive, Vince and engages Max

in conversation. He's tarted talking about how impersonal Los Angeles is. He heard that a man once died on his subway and was left there for six hours before anyone even noticed that there was a dead man on the subway. I have to say it's probably happened in New York. Oh yeah, yeah, and that's maybe that made me start to think about all the people I'd sat next to that were aleep huh, And I was like, oh shit, oh no, oh no. How many times have I cozied up to a

fucking corpse? You want to know what? I believe it would be more likely in LA, though, because those those subways are much less crowded. I think that makes it worse. I don't think you're paying attention to me or to anyone. You're like a sleeping guys. More people, people will, A corpse will fall within thirty minutes in New York. In LA, it could it could self. It could like weekend at Bernie's, a corpse

on the LA subway for hours. So Max starts talking again about his dream of starting his own limbo company once this quote unquote temporary job is over. Yeah, Vincent asked him, how long have you been driving CA and Max goes twelve years temporary, temporary for a temporary Yep. We arrive at Vincent's destination exactly on time, exactly seven fucking minutes, and he has a proposal for Max. He tells him, look, I'm in town for real estate

deal. It's closing that night. Vincent tells him he's got five stops to make, and then he has to catch a six am flight out of Lax. He wants to rent Max's cab for the night. Max like, no, I'm sorry, it's against regulations. I can't do it. Vincent scots. He's like, look, how did you make per night? And Max like three fifty four hundred. He's like, I'll give you six hundred dollars plus an extra hundred if I don't have to run for the plane in the

morning. And then there's this movement where Tom Cruise takes up. He picks up like this stack of one hundred dollars bills and he just fans it out like a magician dancer, Like he just snapped a fan. I'm like, how long did he have to practice? That is just something Tom Cruise does at home for fun? Was that a trick prop? Like? What what is this? Also like only psychopaths carry crisp hundred dollar bills? Yeah, he has seven perfectly crisp hundred dollars bills. That's the red flag that everyone

should have noticed. Yeah, Max is he can't turn up this level of money. He's like okay, and vinceus like great, go drive around to the alleyway behind the building. Wait for me there. I'll be back in a minute. So Max pulls around. He's like, all right, I was waiting this random empty alley in Los Angeles. I have a bone to pick with this film that I'm gonna start right here and right now. Why

is Los Angeles empty? It is? Okay, every because I have this It just got dark, so we know it just got dark when he left LAX. So it's eight pm. And I believe he told I believe he told her it was gonna be like twenty minutes. So it is eight o'clock at night. Yeah, it's eight pm. Yeah, No one is on any of these streets. It is a fully just empty Los Angeles. Placing

that there. There's nothing about Los Angeles would suggest that traffic would be among the top five things people would think about it as soon as they heard los Angeles. Yeah. So he pulls around to that, to that alleyway. He takes a sandwich out of his bag. He starts to eat. He takes a look at a car catalog and he gazes at Annie's card like ooh, that sexy lawyer lady. It's taking the place of his tropical island picture and his visor. Yeah. Suddenly a corpse comes out of nowhere and slams

onto his roof. I have to say it, shattering the windshield. I like this because I was like, you know what, let's get going. Yeah, fucking move, this movie moves. Yeah, I credit where it's due. I laughed out loud. See now this again, another moment where the movie is trying to tell me what it is, and I stupidly am still like waiting for the prestige drama. And I'm like, no, you're wrong, Eric. This is the kind of movie where a man flies out

of a window and slams into the cab. Max panics. He scrambles out of the car. Vincent appears much calmer than Max. Wonder why. Max is like, this guy's dead, Oh my god, we have to call the cops, and and Vincent's like, nope, you have to help me get this guy into the trunk of the car. Max is like, what do you do? What are you talking? Oh no, you know that thing, Yeah, where you're you pick up an assassin by accident. Again,

this old saw, this whole thing It's one of the things. If he had gone to a better, a better cab driver training school, he would have known how to spot, to spot the assassin an assassin and be like, no, no, I'm not putting you in like I'm not taking you. I can smell an assassin at thirty yards drunk girls and assassins. No, No. Vincent holds him at gunpoint and forces Max to help him stow the body in the cab right in the trunk. The movie will identify

this corpse as a fat Los Angelino. Oh yeah, like eight or nine times, to the point where it's weird because it's a It's not a fat person. He's not fat, he's not even overweight. I would call him a completely like average weight person, yeah, that you see walking down the street. Agreed like I And it makes me think that they just needed They were trying to find a fast way to identify the different corpses that are going to start piling up at an alarming rate in the course of this movie.

So they want to identify this guy for the audience. But I'm like, just say, like the gray haired guy, or or I actually cast an extra who's fat. Yeah, it makes sense because I was like, why is it, Why are they hitting this so hard that man was not fat? Understand Tom Cruise hits the word fat a lot. Yeah, in the movie, they give Vincent a lot of like pejorative like he's a fatty fat And I'm like, what's your damage, dude, Like, well, your

mother really did a number on you. Yeah. Yeah. It was weird, even more so in some ways, and like saying mean girls, like we were talking about that where but at least it was serving a purpose at least sometimes in mean Girls, I'm like, I understand why this discussion is being taken up by this movie. Or like a corpse with like bright red hair and you can be like the red haired guy, yeah, the blah blah, yeah, like the checker guy anything, but this this thing that

he just the corpse fundamentally is not. Yeah, so weird. So Vincent pours some like water from a water bottle onto the cab to clean off the blood, and he's like, yeah, that's good enough. As most international assassins, He's like a little sloppiness doesn't hurt anybody, almost counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and international assassining. Well, am I wrong? He's a

bad assassin. Right. Interesting, you know what he's bad about it because that man was not supposed to fly out the window, right, The first thing he did was stepping it. He shot a man next to a window, and apparently the man flew out of the window, like from the force of the shots. That should not have happened. Correct. I think I think he's a bad assassin. Fair, I don't what. I think he's

bad at this. I'm I'm going to pay attention for the rest of this, and I'm gonna because I didn't think about that in advance, but I'm curious to see how it checks out. Yeah, he he's good at killing people, bad at assassining, bad assassinating, bad at being incognito and going unnoticed in a situation one might say is crucial to an assassin. Bad at avoiding cameras and crowds. We're going to get into it. So he snaps at Max to get in the driver's seat. And when Max proposes, hey,

man, just take the cab yourself. I didn't see nothing. I'm not going to say anything to anyone, which everyone knows is a lie. Yeah, He's like, just go and don't worry about me. He's like, no, get in the cab. You're driving me. I paid you to do a job. You're doing your job. Max gets in and they drive off. I have a theory here, Uh huh. Tom Cruise's character doesn't know how to drive. It's the only thing that makes sense. It's either that or he is deeply in love with Max. Those are the only

two possibilities. Boy, how I wish it was the latter. How I wish this was a Bonnie and Clyde situation where like Max is like, I hate you, but I love you, and then they become international assassins together. He's like to get away car Guy and the Killer. Yeah, boy, would I have loved that movie? What a great movie? Yes, not the movie it will. That is the first major question of the film that I promise you does not get answered. Yep. The only no explanation

for why Vincent doesn't just shoot Max take the fucking cab. Maybe he's like the Lincoln lawyer who needs someone to drive him around so we can do his work in the back. Now, he does no work in the back of the cab, so it doesn't hold up. He looks at Dossier's pop. He looks He looks at his at his briefcase. He glances at people's names and pictures. That's all he does. So we cut to LAPD Detective Ray Fanning played by Mark Ruffalo. What was I excited to see him in this?

I was excited, but I did you have a moment because we see him he has his hair slicked back. He has that like early two thousands goatee. Yeah, that connects to the mustache. He has an earring. And the first thing we hear him say is in Spanish. His Spanish is better, by the way, but I had a brief moment of are we are we saying? Mark? Is he gonna introduce himself as detective like Alejandro

Garcia? Oh I had a brief fear for that. Oh no, no, I well, because the Spanish was so rudimentary out Yeah, I didn't even think of that. Okay. So Fanning comes upon the scene of the crime that we have just witnessed. He does not appear to be there responding to a call. Shots were not reported, and he's arriving. He just is kind of there and he calls it in. We cut back to Max

and Vincent. Max is understandably a bit anxious. I will say that most of Max's actions, like, as far as character arcs go, it goes A to B. I can follow it. Yeah, it makes sense. His actions make much more sense than basically anyone else is. In the mid right, he tries to clean up his cab from like the shattered glass and the sandwich he dropped whatever, and Vincent snaps out him to just button it up and get me to the next destination. Max stammers that he can't drive

Vincent to a spot where he's gonna kill someone. He's like, I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. He starts to panic. Vincent is like, look, brief, the plan was for this to go off without you knowing anything, but you know what, things have changed. We have to adjust. We got a jazz. Oh no, this is this is the first instant of jazz. Vince. How about

you adjust to the fact that you're shittiest Sason? How about that? How about go back in time and don't kill that guy to where he falls out of a fucking window. How hard is it to not make someone fall out of a window? I do it every day, Paul. Yeah, I have lived on this earth for many years and I have thrown almost nobody out of a window. Well, I don't know why you're attacking me like this. You know, I have a history making me feel very bad about myself.

Why they call you defenestration? Kaola? So Vincent tells him that there are worse things going on in the world than him killing one guy, and besides, the victim was a criminal. So does that make it feel better? It? Can we get on with this? And we're not in Rwanda? That's why he brings up for Wanda. Yeah, he goes, have you heard of Rwanda? Again? I am an adult who looks at the news every once in a while. Yes, I've heard of Rwanda. Who is this guy? Who is Vincent? Who does he encounter on a daily

basis where he has to explain very basic things to people? If you heard of Rwanda? No, explain Africa to me now, please before Max can respond because thank god, yeah, they're pulled over. Even the screenwriter was like, well, I can't write my way out of this. We need an interruption, we need a do ex LAPD. Now. Now we've brought up Rwanda and oh boy, actually no, this is worth talking about because

Vincent goes. People are murdered. Hundreds of people are murdered every night in Rwanda, and you don't lose a bit of sleep over them, do you? So why you care about this guy? And I'm like, bro, Rwandan's aren't landing in my fucking porch every day, then I might think about it more often, but seeing is how it's happening on the other side of the earth. Yeah, and I have a fucking mortgage to pay over here. That was such a dumb argument. Yeah, I hate this guy so

much. On top of it being an assassin, I actually don't even care about that. It is everything else about his personality sucks so hard. So they're pulled over by two cops. Yeah, Vincent hitses at Max to get rid of the police officers or else they'll wind up in the trunk as well. Okay, now I have a question, yes, Paul, Okay, So I know we said the streets are empty, but like at this point, they're on like you can see other cars driving around. They're on a

major SAT, They're on a major thoroughfare. They get pulled over and Vincent's like, I'm gonna kill these two cops in in front of dozens of people that are well within eyeshot of this happening. Holmut like, and were you gonna shove thirty people into the backseat of the CAB's not big enough? Hah. The cab just starts to drag the back is it just limbs hanging out of it? It's just sparks as it goes down the street, dragging down from all the bodies. Is not a clown car. It's a corpse car.

No believe corpse is good fit Like, it makes no sense. So I don't want to be controversial here, but LAPD officers are notoriously well armed. Yeah, so I don't. I don't care how good of an international assassin you are. I'm liking the cops chances more than his. So the officers tell Max how they pulled him over for the shattered windshield had the plud all over his fucking car. Max apologizes, saying he was on his way back to the depot and he was just dropping this last person off. The

cops are calm and they're like, how did this happen? And he goes, I hit a deer and I was like, what, just say? A tree branch fell from like all I was driving, which I mean, look, I understand he's under a great deal of pressure. Well, I thought his answer was so stupid that he was trying to alert the cops. And I don't know what movie I'm watching. I was like, oh, smart, He's like, you know, I hit that deer. You know how there's deer everywhere. Yeah, and like trying to sound like a little

little loopy. So the cops are like, okay, sir, we're gonna need you to like get out of the car. Yeah, you don't sound so good. That's not what happens. Yeah, the cops remain calm. They insist the car is no longer safe to drive and it must be impounded, so tell your passenger to get out. At the last possible moment, they're called away on a radio call. This happens so much in movies and

TV shows. It's way overused, where they're like literally about to like open the trunk of the car, you see the thing in the back, and then they're like calling all units, calling all units. There's a there's an robbery a foot at the blah blah blah, And I'm like, oh, we gotta go. We're calling all units and I'm like this movie. They tell Max, all right, go straight to the impound lot. You know, do not pass go. This is the honor system, buddy. Yeah.

Max and Vincent arrived the next stop and Vincent has Max pull into an alleyway again. He zip ties Max's hands to the wheel just as Max's boss radio is in Uh so, Max's boss has apparently been notified by the police about the state of Maxi's cab and he's an asshole, right, He's like, it's coming out of your salary. Blah blah blah blah blah. Vincent, who remember is deeply in love with Max and a man of the people. Yes, scruffles MC salt and pepper. He is having none of this.

His his cab driver is being intimate, is being treated poorly by his boss. Right. He gets on the radio. He claims to be an adya and he easily intimidates Max's boss. He's like, no, your your insurance covers this. You're being an asshole for here about this again. I'm gonna sue you blah blah blah blah blah. Then he makes Max tell his boss that he's an asshole and if he tries to pull this shit again. He's gonna stick this cab up his fat ass again. That's right there,

it's like a fat ass. Calm down, gentleman. You don't know what he looks like, cause you're damage hither. Max stammers out the insults. He's obviously not no feeling behind them. Satisfied, Vincent heads into the building to do his work, and we see a brief cutaway of his next victim being summoned to meet with a notary quote unquote. In the alley, Max sees some people walking on the sidewalk nearby. He honks the horn tries to

get the attention of some passerby. He attracts a group of men who start walking towards the car. In Maxi's defense, at first, you can't really see what they look like, but as they get closer to the car and they get under the light, you start to recognize, Oh, no Nazis. Well, yeah, weenates, we have Nazis. We've attracted neo Nazis. Kudos to the stylist on this movie, the costume, the hairy makeup. I knew him immediately, like you did not have to. They didn't

have to open their mouth and say a word. I was like Nazis shit. They immediately hold him at gunpoint. They take his wallet, they take Vincent's briefcase from the back seat. The degenerates slash Nazis. Plus Paul writes here there were four, but now there's two for some reason. I don't know. I don't understand. Two of them just kept one. We just kept walking. Yeah, they walk away, but not fast enough. Vincent appears and he says, yo, homie, Okay, you know what,

no notes, no notes. I want to hear Tom Cruise say yoh me a lot. What other things do you want to hear Tom Cruise say, oh. I want to hear Tom Cruise say shoplift in the pooty, as we discussed in Jerry Maguire. God, I love when Hollywood makes Tom Cruise say silly things. They should make Tom Cruise pay play, justin Timberlake in the movie of Britney Spears Memoir, where he got to go up to Genuine, Yeah, played by Genuine and say all of this, all of this

guess a black scent is that. I don't know. I don't know what we're calling me vernacular vernacular. I did not shoplift the pooty. Some one of the greatest moments in American cinema as far as I'm concerned, Yo homie, Oh my god, I wanted to die. Why would he say that? Why would Vincent say, yo homie? Yeah, you know. So the two men, the two Nazis, try to rob him as well,

and he immediately just kills them both with three gunshots each and again. Now the movie, I'm confused because Vincent is an assassin, a terrible one at that, and he seems somewhat insufferable. But he stands up to Max's boss. He's like, he's like a hero for the working man, right, and then he kills these Nazis, which you know, fine, I'm very okay with. And so I'm like, what am I supposed to be getting from this? This movie is confusing. He tosses his briefcase back in the

backseat, and he gives Max back his wallet. Yep. We cut to the two filling up at a gas station. Vincent warrens Max that attracting attention will only get more people killed, and then he tells them we're ahead of schedule and proposes they take a detour to a jazz club. Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth. There are genuinely movies about jazz that are good movies. This is not one of them. We cut back to Fanning.

Remember Mark Ruffalo, the cop. I don't know if this was this was like made a parent before, but he is an under cover cop. Yeah right, so that's why he's dressed like, I don't know, like from a street gang or whatever the fuck this person was supposed to be because

he's undercover. Right, So he finds We find out that his for that victim that we saw, the hugely fat man who fell out of the window, was one of his informants, and Fanning was working him for months and months to try to get to another bigger guy named Felix rey Es Dorena, a Mexican drug kingpin. His partner played by Peter Berg. By the way, Yeah he pops up. I haven't seen Peter Berg in a million years. Yeah he does more behind the camera stuff. Yeah he's a director now.

I guess his partner informs him, Hey, look, the Feds are watching Felix. They don't want the lapd getting in the way, So get out of the thing, right, like, stop following this case, which makes me again, no one just alects to go undercover. Huh. Like a whole system has to be put in place, paperwork has to be done, a judge has to sign off on it for this to happen. Why is he working this undercover case if the FEDS are also on it? This

doesn't make any sense. I think the implication is that he's working a different angle. I don't think he's initially working the Felix case. I think he's This doesn't make any sense. I'm just saying I love that Paul's like, wait, hang on, what I'm about to say is dumb. Continue. Yeah, but I think the implication is that he like, like he's coming at this criminal informant from a different direction and then he stumbles into the Felix

thing. But why, oh, it doesn't It makes no sense. It like, shouldn't the FEDS be like, hey, LAPD, knock knock knock, we have a favor to ask. Let's leave this entire criminal organization out of out of the LAPD's purview for a while while we work this case. None of this makes any sense. This goes into the the the great pantheon of terrible cops in movies. As we've discussed in previous films such as Lethal Weapon and Die Hard and Break All. Police officers are just fundamentally terrible at

their jobs. So Fanning, because he's terrible at his job, isn't deterred. He's like, I don't care if I'm blowing a whole federal case. I want to know what happened to my ci. A witness reports seeing a cab in the area, and Fanning is reminded of a similar case in Oakland, where a cab driver drove around all night, murdered three people, and

then died by suicide. Oh however, the investigating detective in that Oakland case always questioned whether or not that driver did take his own life and thought there might have been someone else in the cab. He framed the cab driver, which again makes him terrible at this because he's doing it twice, creating a pattern. Even a broken clock pole is right twice a day. Even terrible cops would notice, Hey, this exact same car was at all five crime

scenes. I wonder if there's a correlation here. All Right, we cut to the Jask Club. Oh my god, I'm gonna walk away. You talk, you talk this scene out. I'll be back. I'm gonna go somewhere where no one's explaining jazz to me. Vincent and Max watch as the club owner Daniel, played by the great and good Barris Shabaka Henley, a great character actor. Uh. He plays trumpet with his band. I don't think he's actually playing the trumpet. I couldn't figure it out, but I'm

pretty sure he's not. I think that trump is hard. Yeah, so I'm willing to give him a pass. So yeah. Vincent bribes the server to ask Daniel to come talk to them after the set. We cut to Daniel telling them a story about Miles Davis. Vincent is impressed. He comments that I've got to tell the people in Coolie a cannon Karta Hana that story, and Daniel's face just drops. Max suddenly catches up and he's like, oh, fuck this guy, this is this is not a break, This

is not a random jazz wey, We're not on a break. Daniel is the next target, and he does not want to see what is about to happen. He begs Vincent to do look, look, do a little improv play little jazz. You love jazz. What if you just let this guy go and disappear, right, yeah, like, you don't need to do this, and Daniel is even like, hey, man, I will disappear. You will never hear from me again. I'll be like the wind. Yeah, let's just jazz together. Oh. Vincent tells Daniel, all right,

I'm gonna ask you a question. You get it right, you disappear. Daniel agrees, and he says, look, no matter what happens, tell Felix and his people that I'm sorry, I have no choice but to play ball. I'm gonna go I was gonna go back to jail, and I'm not going back to jail, right. Vincent asks where Miles Davis learned music. Daniel confidently tells them Juilliard. Vincent shoots him in the head and tells his corpse that Miles Davis dropped out of Juilliard and learned with Charlie Parker

on the job. Oh, this is so scream this is the worst. He's just this man owns a jazz club. Uh huh. He shoots him in the head anyway, which fine, if that's your job, Yeah, but then don't explain jazz to the corpse of the man who owns a jazz club. Who personally knew Miles Davis. What is wrong with you? Yeah this, I had a moment where I had to I had to stop the movie and walk around. No, I can't, I can't with this fut jazz. I can't. I've said this before. A movie, to me,

is only as good as the villain. Like, a villain has to be compelling, and this villain, there's ingredients, there's stuff there. Tom Cruise is always watchable, whatever you may say about him, He's always watchable. But it's I I wanted a better villain. I wanted a better guy. I wanted someone who is interesting, like a Hans Gruber. You know, he's bad, he's not a good person, but he's compelling to watch. Even a moment where Max might one might be like, you know what,

maybe Vincent is doing you know good work. I mean he's ridding the world of terrible people. Like if that conversation had gone that way instead of instead of his asshole trying to explain the Rwandan genocide to a cab driver like, fuck you man. If they had written a more compelling character, Tom Cruise really would have made it sing to I think, like he can really pull that shit off and it's that's where I'm like, Look, I'm not

mad, I'm just disappointed. Yeah, I'm just disappointed, collateral. I want it better for you. So Max flees the club, muttering angry that I'm just collateral. Then he looks at the camera and goes wink. Vincent catches up with him and holds him by the throat, and before it can escalate, dispatch calls again. The fucking asshole calls again, huh and reports

that Max's mother has been calling all night constantly looking for him. When Max, Baby, when you took this job before you knew the wrinkle that was the international assassination of it all, did you not think about your mother that you visit every night in the hospital. Right, Like, we're about to find out that Max's mother is in the hospital. He goes every single night during his shift to come in and visit her. Say hello, what did

he think he was gonna do with Tom Cruise that night? Yeah? Anyway, Vincent's like, Okay, if you visit your mother in the hospital every night, we got to do that. So let's go to the hospital because I don't want any I don't want any suspicion. Do you think Max missing

a visit for his mother will bring more eyes in the shattered windshield. It's the LAPD Paul who knows who knows what They're paying attention to the very fact that, like a good international assassin makes the first mistake where the corpse drops on the cab and disappears, he doesn't return to the cab. Yes, you go away, you shoot Jamie Fox, Sorry, Jamie Fox, and then you fucking go away. Yeah, none of this makes sense, none

of it. And then also the jazz guy that they killed right there is sitting in the middle of a crowded jazz club with him for presumably hours after his set, waiting for the club to clear out and for the last of the employees to leave before he kills him. But that still means that there are like hundreds of witnesses. You, as the last person, we saw a very distinctive looking man with silver hair, and Jamie Fox who is and a Neon silver suit and a Neon silver suit, and Jamie Fox who is

very attractive. Uh huh, like people notice him when he walks into a room. Do you expect that no one is going to be able to like pick them out of a lineup? We cut to the hospital where Vincent insists Max buy flowers for her mother, after all, she carried you at her womb for nine months. Stop it stop at Vincent, fuck you man, Cruse saying the word womb. I don't like it. I did not like

that at all. He said it like it's a science experience. He said it like you want to crawl back up in his hand and no, uh uh. They get into the elevator and they are joined by Detective Fanning, who's heading to another floor. Ooh, so you know, our our hero and our and our villain and our you know, I don't know what's Fanning the stop are all in the same elevator together, gasp. Vincent and Max get off first they head to his mother, Ida's room. Ida is played

by Irma p Hall. Ida is immediately short with Max for wasting his money on flowers, and he's like, yeah, I didn't buy them for you, this guy did. And then she notices Vincent and the whole act changes and she becomes the hostess. Very funny. It's very funny, yeah, because she's like abusing Max immediately upon him walking in and then is like so

sweet as soon as she notices she come on in. Yep, it quickly becomes apparent that Ida believes that Max's dream of owning a limousine company is reality. Embarrassed by and also scared for his mother, like his mother drives him nuts, but he does love his mother and he doesn't want her to be murdered by the worst assassin. What if he accidentally murders items He doesn't even mean slips, she trips on a cord and it like cuts off through her

oxygen and he's like, sorry, okay, this one's on me. Yeah, my bad. I did not mean to do that. I did not mean to murder your mother by accident. Max kind of sneaks out of the room. He kind of just like walks quickly past Vincent and on the way

out, he swipes Vincent's briefcase. Yep, he gets a little bit of a heads dart because Vincent is busy kind of like charming charming Ida, I think, just trying to get under Max's skin, and he doesn't quite realize how quickly Max is left, which is again something in assassin should really be top of mind. Why is he wasting time in this hospital room? Ridiculous? Is happening. You're right, It almost is as though he fell madly in love with him at first, because he's like, be nice to your

mom, bring her flowers. Like yeah, he's chastising him for not being a better son to his elderly sick mother, and I'm like, why do you care? What is your damage? So Max gets out of there, and Vincent realizes he's gone, and he gives chase yep. Max sprints through the hospital. Vincent pursues him. Tom Cruise runarate chopping through the air. Every time I get to see it, it makes me happy. Max eventually winds up on a pedestrian bridge over the highway. He sees Vincent coming.

They're the only two people on this enormous pedestrian bridge. Then I believe, and he throws Vincent's briefcase into the air and over out onto the highways, scattering all of Vincent's money and prep work on his victims for the night. Vincent just runs over it, tackles him and snarls, let's see what else you can do. Guess, kiss, kiss, kiss kiss. That was like a They'd stay in Idel's room for one more minute. She would have

been like, kiss kiss. We cut to Fanning Mark Ruffalo at the hospital morgue, hoping for a look at his his informant's corpse because remember, technically there is no murder because the corpse was never found because it's in the back of that trunk. Yeah, but he knows something happened because the apartment was a mess and the fucking window was broken. So he's looking at the morgue,

He's like, hey, any chance this person came in. Instead, what he finds are the bodies of the two fucking Nazis and Vincent's second victim, the notary guy, who I should say is like, like, looks expensive, right, Like he was living in a penthouse. To find out later he's like a lawyer for criminals. Yeah, exactly. So the emmy has a theory that they were all killed by the same shooter because of the bullet pattern, right, two in the chest and one in the head.

Further, Fanning recognizes the second victim, the fancy lawyer guy right, who was also in the drug trade, and he's like, oh no, he was also involved with Felix, the evil drug kingpin, and this is all coming together. He's sure that something big is going on, and he doesn't think the feds are aware of it. No reason for him to think that. Why would the feds not be aware of it? I don't know, Paul, I don't know. I don't know why this guy thinks he's better

than the entire federal government. I mean he might be. Yeah, I love seeing like like actors, actors like Mark Ruffalo and stuff like this. Or I'm like, I know that he looked at the script. I know he knows the script is bad. I know he knows it. I no judgments for him for taking it. I'm thrilled he's collecting a paycheck. I love Mark Ruffalo, but like the fact that he has to say these things.

And I'm like, I know the kind of actor is that he thought about this line and was like, well, this doesn't make any sense. Okay, fine, whatever level best. Yeah, it's all watchable. Yeah. We cut back to Mac Vincent driving. Vincent starts making comments about Max lying to his mother, bitch, keep your mouth, keep my mother's name

out of his mouth. Max says it, his mother just hears what she wants and ignores what he's actually saying, and Vincent the assassin recall who is trying to be incognito, not let anyone know anything about himself, talks about growing up with an abusive father and says that he killed his father when he was twelve. Yeah, Max is horrified. What and then Vincent laughs, ha, just kidding. He's still alive. He's a hoot and a half. Has Tom Cruise ever done a comedy, like a real comedy? I

know, Risky Business is. Some people think it's a comedy. He did Tropic Thunder But now I thought about that too, But that is playing on his persona and intensity, right, I'm trying to think if he's just because you're playing doesn't make it not a comedy. No, no, no, it doesn't. I'm talking to somebody where like, has he ever hosted SNL where he is asked to do that kind of like absurdist stuff because the Tropic Thunder performance is is also playing on his tendency to go too hard and to

go like it's using Tom Cruise correctly in a comedy. Actually, you know what movie is an unintentional comedy and it uses Tom Cruise so fucking perfectly. Oh, Rock of Ages. Rock of Ages is so fucking funny in Rock of Agent, you know what you are correct, thank you, because I was trying to think of like, does he ever just done like a light rom com? I mean, I guess Jerry Maguire, that's like a dramedy though, like that's not just a right And we also talked about how he

was wrong in that he was terrible. I mean, he was terrible, but he was very wrong for that. Yeah. No, I think he's too intense, generally speaking, to be believable in a really light role except for Rock of Ages, where the intensity is used. Yeah, so it's deployed like Tropic Thunder where they're using the intensity. Yeah. Yeah, remember how good he was an interview with the Vampire. Oh yeah, we were so shocked when we watched that movie and we were like, fucking Tom Cruise,

it's great. Am I wrong? But he's wonderful in this movie. I would say Tom Cruise is very funny an interview with the Vampire. I know it's not a comedy, but he keeps it light there. Yeah, I agree. Okay, So the two of them arrive at their destination is a bar called El Rodeo, which is a Latin cowboy bar, very specifically

and Spanish for the Rodeo. Vincent informs Max that he will be heading in, as quote unquote Vincent, he will speak to Felix and get him to replace all the information that was lost when Max flung the briefcase onto the highway. Vincent is like, I don't go in. People don't see my face, and I'm like, you know, have seen your face? Max? So Max is already dead really because you have to kill him at the end

of the night. I'm willing to go with Max a little bit more than I am with Vincent, because it's like, you don't want to die, so you're just playing a lot until you can figure out what means of escape. But like this guy, I had to know from the minute that like first body fell. He's like, well, I'm going to die tonight if I don't get away from this guy. Somehow that'll figure out away. I'm

going to die tonight. Yep. Max is understandably luctant to do this task, but he doesn't really have much of a choice because Vincent says if he doesn't get it done in ten minutes, he's going to drive to the hospital and kill his mother, which implies that he can drive. That's right, Yeah, what is happening he's in love. It has to be in love with them. It has a love story. Oh God, I want it to be Paul. This is what Taylor Swift's song love Story is about.

We cut to an FBI surveillance team. Remember the Feds, the Feds that were all over this. Yep, they're finally in the movie. We're by We're like an hour in already. Before the fucking Feds even show up, they see Max head into the club on their cameras. Agent Padrosa played by Bruce McGill is leading the stakeout, and Fanning arrives. I don't know who told him where the I don't care. You know what moving on does makes sense? But I'm moving on and asks, hey, has there been any

unusual activity tonight at the at the rodeo at the old Rodo. Pedrosa says, nope, it's been quiet. But Fanning sees the cab and the like ruined roof and the cracked windshill, and he's like, hey, let's let's zoom in on that. He uses the license plate to request a copy of Max's license and he and the Feds start working together. See teamwork doesn't teamwork

makes a dream work. That's true. That is absolutely true, and they realize that the three people that have been murdered that night are connected to Felix. They use the video of Max entering the club. They listen to it and they hear him say the word Vincent, so that he's claiming that his name is Vincent. Crucially, they cannot see Tom Cruise in the cab.

Yeah. Max manages to talk his way into the club on the power of Vincent's name and is led directly to Felix, played by an unexpected Javier Bardem. I squealed when he came on the screen. You're a Javier fan. I'm a Bardamite Paul from a Javiette If you will, I forget when people get famous. Yeah. Like so, if you'd ask me what year Havevier Bardem got famous, I would not have thought two thousand and four. I would not have thought it was like famous enough yet to be playing a villain

in a major motion picture. Yeah, and there he is. And it's only one scene. Yea. But I was so like, hey, look at you. Yeah. I think he had done before After Night Falls that the After Night Falls is what broke him out in the United States, right, because the Spanish language film, but a lot of people saw it, and I think that's and then he immediately had to learn English. He was like, oh shit, I can get work in the Hollywood. I got to learn some English. Yeah, and so I don't know, I got

a bandaris this shit real fast. So I haven't really looked into it, but I have This has to be like his second or third movie. I looked it up. It's very to be clear in the United In the US, I'm sure he made plenty of Spanish language films in Spain very early on his American career. He is so hot in this movie. I mean he's always hot, but like he has like a shaved head and like he's got that face, like it's it looks like a tough guy face. Yeah.

Yeah, he's got character. Yeah yeah. Do he and Penelope Crews have children? Do? Those kids' faces must be extraordinary because you get two people with so much character, and I'm like, oh my god. There they either are like the most beautiful people in the world, those children, or unholy hype, we're only hybrids. Yeah, I don't think there's an in between. I don't think so for them. No chance that those people come

out looking totally normal, unappealing. Yeah, like, I just hope that if they have multiple children, they all fall on the same side of the spectrum. Whichever one it is. They're either all gorgeous or they're all weird looking, or all they all look like Picasso paintings. Yeah somehow, why is your eye so low? Ha ha? All right, So Felix demands to know why he's there, and Max stammers that he lost the list,

and Felix finally, like firmly identifies this list as informants. The audience has figured this out at this point, but this is where we were getting, like the actual download. Even the cops have figured this out right now, And as as this and every other movie tells us they're the worst. Yeah, Felix is pissed. But Max has learned his lessons from Vincent well,

right, he's learned him well enought that he doesn't crumble. If only every person but a little bit of a a little bit of an insecurity issue had a nice sociopathic assassin that could just teach them how to stand up for themselves. Stand up for yourself, bring your mother flowers, yep, and talk about chatz with you yeah, fuck you hooked on PHONICX. This is how to get people ready for the real world. This is the preview of the

movie. I remember this because I didn't see this movie when it came out, but I remember this moment in the preview where he's like, tell the man behind me to put his gun away? Yeah, like like Jamie Fox brings it in the scene. So he stares at Felix. He tells them what Erica has said, Have the guy behind me put his gun away before

I take him and beat him to death with it. He takes off his glasses, he gets some good crazy eyes going yeah, and he tells Felix that he dumped the list because he picked up a tail, and then he starts parroting Vincent's nonsense about Jazz. I have to say, though, like if if Nathan is a colleague of these people, they all know they don't know is what he looks like. But they're like, don't bring up jazz.

Yeah, whatever you do if you mean him. So I feel like this is like, this is this has to be Vincent's like thing that he's famous for. Yeah, He's led jazz, Vincent Hu. Felix is impressed enough that he give Max a flash drive with all the information that was lost. Max stands up and this was funny. He says, you know what, as an apology, you can take thirty five percent off my fee for the night. And then he tells Max that Daniel said he was sorry.

So he passes on the jazz club owners final wesh to tell Felix that he you know, he didn't want to flip. Yeah. Max leaves, and Felix instructs his men to follow him to the next target and kill him if anything goes wrong. Yeah, that all tracks. That all tracks. You know who's good at their job, Felix. Felix gets shipped. Done, Felix understands what he is there for. You know who apparently walks out of this movie entirely unscathed. Felix. Huh no, not necessarily. I mean

the trial will start tomorrow. Yeah, but there's no witnesses left. Yeah. Yeah, well I guess Max. I guess Max is a witness now. But I hope spoiler Max makes it through the movie. I hope he gets through the next night because you know who knows what Max looks like. Felix Felith. So we're back in the cab Vincent uses the cabs. Paul rights here. I don't know computer. What is that? It looks like an iPad, the iPads. It wasn't like a route finder, but Max

doesn't need a route I don't know what it is. It must be some kind of like log for the for the rides. You must log it in somehow. It looks like a speak and say from the eighties. So he accesses the information and directs Max to the head to a club called Fever to find the next time. Every every single one of these movies has a scene in a club PSA for this episode. Nightclubs are full of assassins. They're full of international spies. They're full of assassins. They're full of criminals in

the back doing shady dealings. That's correct. Keep your eyes peeled. I'm not saying don't go to clubs. They're fun. You have to have fun, but keep your eyes peeled because some shit is gonna go down. You see someone in a Neon silver suit, you get yourself out. Yeah, you pay your tab and you fucking leave. Yeah. And you know what

if he looks angry, don't even pay your tab. So the next target is a man named Peter Limb. Meanwhile, the FEDS are readying their own team to send to Fever because they have figured out that Peter Limb must be the next target. Yes, they know the list of witnesses, right. So when Fanning tries to convince them, hey, I think there's another man in that cab. I don't think the cab driver is the killer. I think he tries to explain an Oakland thing to them. They want no part

of it. They're like, no, shut up, we see him, he dies. They don't. They're not even like they are shoot to killing this guy. They're not. They're not out to arrest him, to bring him in to flip him for their case. Nothing, even though they are quickly losing witnesses and they could potentially use another flip. Yeah. No, no, They're like, we're gonna murder him the second we see him.

That's what we do. Jesus Christ. Fanning follows the Feds ye, because he's like, you know what, I don't like the way this is going. Yeah, this this case is under his skin now. So to be clear, converging on the club is Maxi and Vince, the FEDS, Fanning, and also Felix's men who are tailing Max and Vincent, who think Max is Vincent, as do the Feds. Here is where my brain turned. Okay, this is the moment when I was watching the movie. Was it

the random coyotes? No? No, no, it was here because I was like, oh, this is like a shootout at the Okay Corral. Oh this is not a prestige movie I'm watching. Okay, this is a dumb shoot them up action movie. Now that I love, Yeah, you do love it. I'm all in for that movie. I wish I had been watching that movie from the beginning. Yeah, the coyotes. I don't understand. Max and Vincent are driving. There's a Chris Isaac song that's playing,

like we see like all these people coming. It's it's it's it's like a very moody, cool shot of la at night. Yeah right, Like so like I get the cinematography and the beauty of it, and he like stops and vince it looks like why did you stop? And then silently they watch like these two coyotes cross the road, and I'm like, is this the rule of cool? Thing? Like it was like were they were they

not planned? What's going on here? Yeah? I don't know because they it's never It's not like there's not some symbolism around the coyote that I am aware of. I thought it may be like an uncanny valley thing. Sure, like of like, well, this night just got even weirder. This fucking coyotes in the street. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck that means. Okay, as long as you don't know either, What could that mean? Why are there coyotes? Now? All right, let's

let's figure this out. The coyotes Okay, okay, it's a coyote like a symbol of like, go the fuck home. It is it's not coyotes. I just realized it's wiley coyote. Okay, okay. And and he is signaling to us, the watchers who thought this was a prestige movie that no, we're about to like blow up this club from the ACME with TNT from the ACME Corporation. Yeah, like that's that's why the coyote came on. So in the cab, Vincent asks Max, Hey, you're gonna call

Annie? And Max says he doesn't know, and Vincent says, you know, life is short if you and I make it out of this alive. You should call her? Why are you playing with him? N Like, what's your damage? What's the implication here? Because look, one of them is dying, Like a smart audience member knows. One of these people is

not making it out. Yeah right, So why should you should have said if you make it out of this alive, yes, right, and then it's like then it's then it's actually almost like, hey, I don't really want to kill you. Yeah, and I might die. My line of work is dangerous. So you make it out alive. You should call her. Yeah, maybe maybe I'll spare you. You don't know that. You don't know me, You don't know my whole thing. You don't know how much I love you. Ha ha. That Chris Isaac song made me want

to hold you. You don't know what it's like to love somebody, to love somebody the way I love you. That's what should have been playing. Aha. They don't have Begi's money for this. I'm they blew it all on Tom Cruise. I'm gonna see if I can get a video of this scene and put the Beechi's under it. So the two arrive and Vincent forces Max in front of him as they make their way through a packed club. This scene is now that I know what I'm watching, I'm all here for

it. Okay, this is the dumbest fucking thing. It's loud and dumb and hilarious. Yep, buckle up. So they make their way through a pack club. Right, Vincent is like basically holding Max at gunpoint. The Feds are behind them, as is Fanning, as our Felix's men, all of whom think that Max is some dangerous killer. Vincent spots the target, who was, of course, surrounded by his own bodyguards with guns. So

many guns, so many guns, so many guns in the scene. He tells Max to move fifteen feet away, but promises that if you wander, I will shoot some innocence in this club. It's like, if I were Maxi'd be like, Buddy, I don't. I don't think there's any question that innocent people are gonna die tonight. I don't. Really, We're actually past that point. If ever, there was a moment where Max could just flee. This is it, right, So Vincent moves through the throng.

He manages to dispatch three of Limb's guards as everyone just keeps dancing around them. Yeah, that's what Paul wrote. Here, let me tell you what I saw. Let me tell you what I see here. Man in a full silver suit on the dance floor, crowded dance floor, pack This is the one place in LA where there are people by the way, this is this is the Asian Club. Do you notice that I did not like ninety percent of the people in the scener Asian? Oh I didn't notice. Yeah,

So we have the Latino Rodeo bar and the Asian Club. Hey, why is it called fever? I don't like that. Oh, I didn't think of that. I don't like that. I don't care for that. Yeah. So he's the dance floor, right, pumping, pump and pumpin Tom Cruise. Pull the fucking gun out, Yea, holds it like, not hiding it under his jacket, hold it out in front of him.

People on the dance floor. And I know these are just extras, it's not their fault, but a bunch of them look at him, They look right at him and see and then they're like yeah, they keep dancing, and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't want to see the gun. Is this not Los Angeles, notorri not the safest city in the country. Why is everyone cool with this fucking gun in the club? He starts walking through the club like a fucking shark, pointing right at Peter Limb.

He does this thing where he shoots him, and that's when people are like and flee. Bunkers. Bonkers, absolutely fucking bunkers. I will say that this is for a real a real moment here, like shooting up a

club is something that does not age. Well. Oh yeah, I was like, oh god, this is this is because innocent people die in this scene or well, it seems like he mostly shoots like the bodyguard, like the people that are I'm willing to believe that Vincent is a good enough shot that he doesn't kill anyone outside of the meant who he meant to kill. I don't know if the Feds other thugs are quite as because it's a firefight in a packed club. They just start spraying the place bullets. Yeah,

and it's it. It took me out of it for a second. I was like, oh no, we can't do this scene casually anymore. No, thank you. So many movies have this scene though, yeah again, like I think thinking of the really terrible one was scarface. Uh huh with like the giant club shoot out, Like what is happening? I'm gonna read this just as Paul wrote it. Pedroza Spot's Limb calls his extraction team and honestly, who gives a fuck? Screaming, shooting, utterly unrealistic CHAOSI erupts.

I was losing patience. Vincent saves Max from being executed by Felix's men. That's right, I forgot that. Why yeah, why he loves him? You don't know what it's loved? An easy way to get out of this. Oh baby, you don't know what it's love? So you know what? Notoriously has cameras everywhere nightclubs. Yeah, well, because they want to catch people stealing, and so like you. He he put his gun out on the dance floor and just started shooting, and then people cleared around

him and he continued to shoot. There's now so much evidence of your existence, dude. He takes down like six or seven bodyguards who swarm him. Dude, you are caught. Let Max go. No one is going to believe Max is the real killer anymore. So okay, so Vincent shoots lim the guy. Meanwhile, Fanning manages to grab Max, and he's like, I'm a cop. I think I know what's going on here. I don't think you're the killer. We gotta go. He tries to usher him out

of the club to safety. Unfortunately, and I cannot express enough that as soon as they get out of the club, we discover that Vincent, much like Michael Myers, can teleport. Because this makes no sense, Max and Fanning are ahead of him, and he is still like fighting six bodyguards for some reason. He fights the six bodyguards, kills Peter Limb, and manages to get downstairs and in front of the car before Fanning and Max exit the club. Yeah, he shoots and kills Fanning rip ALRP. I actually thought

maybe he was gonna be wearing a bulletproof best. I thought he was gonna be Okay, I forgot. You know what is funny is in a movie Right now, Mark Ruffalo wouldn't be killed, right because he's too famous. But two thousand and four Mark Ruffalo fucking cannon fodder. Yeah yeah, yeah. He drags Max back into the cab. Max is now like really upset, right, he is, like I thought he had a brief moment in the sun where he thought he was out of this Yeah, and not good.

Vincent points out that he saved Max's life and wonders, where the fuck is my thanks? You know, fuck you? Max says, why did you kill Fanning? Which, come on, Max, what are we doing here? Why are you surprised? Of course he killed fann integrity. I thought you loved me. Vincent says, it's what he does for a living, and he starts to whack philosophical about how they're just specs in the universe. He doesn't care about the people he kills for his job. He's indifferent.

This is almost as bad as the jazz. This is bad. Is hard to watch, Oh my god, Like the nihilist philosophy is straight so irritating, And again Tom Cruise is not the vessel for this performance. Like, either write a better movie for Tom Cruise or put another actor in this role who can maybe like like just tap dances his way around this yeah, and be fast and loose with it, like it is hard to watch.

Yeah, Max says there's something missing in you, something missing in your brain, and Vincent is like, you're too afraid to even try to realize your dreams. You're sitting here, you're talking about limo companies. What why are you getting personal? Man? What is VI? You're gonna kill him in like two hours? What is his hole? Like? He's like, He's like, well, don't tell me. I'm not good at my job. You don't even follow your dreams. I'm sorry. Why am I see?

Why? Why am I on the couch? All of a sudden, Ferston to climb every mountains. It's realizarre. Excuse me, doctor killer. This sets Max off. He starts to accelerate through the empty streets of La. He admits that Vincent's right, he needs to stop waiting for the exact right moment to start his company. He just needs to do it. The cab speeds through the streets. Vincent pulls his gun. He's like, slow down, slow down, Max, Max, What are you doing? Max?

What are you doing? Max says, go fuck yourself, and he steers the cab into a highway divider, flipping it over and sending it careening into the sidewalk, empty sidewalk. No one else gets hurt. Nope, not even a coyote is hit, not even a rampant coyote like they have just running around the streets. Both men are conscious, though when the car flips,

none of them have died. Vincent starts to kick at Max, but then he hears like he gets really petty for a minute, which very funny, slam you god, damn it, man, what are you doing. You're ruining everything. Then there's sirens and he's like, oh, I gotta get out, So he gets that the cab. He sprints away. A cop appears in the scene. He sees Max, who's in shock and bleeding from the head, and he calls an ambulance and he's like, hey, man, you know you're gonna be okay. We're gonna get an ambulance.

Just sit down, don't move. And then he's looking at the damage of the car. And remember the car has totally flipped over. It is basically like like squashed like accordion, right, which means the trunk has opened. And the cop sees the body in the back of the cab and he tells Max, put your hands over your head. So Max is like ready to submit. He's like, good, I'm done. Take me out of this situation. I need to flee forever. Then he looks over at his cab

and he sees the screen of the little computer. This is the speak set, the speaking sad Yeah, with the five like a Vincent's targets list, right, and he sees the final picture, Paul, would you bu Lee Vitt? The final victim of Vincent's hit list is super lawyer Annie what From the beginning of the movie lawyer any lady who could believe it? Who could believe it? All? All we know about her is that she's working the most important case of her career, and she has to start tomorrow and she

has to make sure her witnesses are press. Oh now I see it, now, I see it now. Also, it's everyone else on this list is and I'm not saying this means they deserve to die, but is it actually a criminal? Yeah? Look, you kill a bunch of criminals. That's one thing. I'm not saying that should be different, but like that's one thing now, But on the same job, go kill this eighty A. Yeah, like that's a that's a bigger thing. Well, and also

like it's gonna it's gonna look badna. Look, it's really just the witnesses were enough. You didn't really have to kill the ADA. If you kill the case, the ADA has got nothing. Yeah, Yeah, but you know what Felix likes to, uh, you know, close all his loops, dot his eyes, cross his teeth, all that stuff. Yeah, he is a very efficient killer. So the cop keeps approaching Max. Right

now, Max has to do some quick thinking. He's somehow, even though he is deeply concussed, manages to attack the police officer, flip him on his back handcuff him to the wreck of the car, and then tells the cop where he's headed to call and to call for backup. He takes the cops gun. That is a bad cop, right, it's a bad cop. That's a bad cop. He's also talking with the New York accent, isn't he. I yeah, I don't know. Every every cop in every

movie is a New York accent. Yeah. Well, he managed to get completely disarmed by a deeply concussed man. Yeah, untrained cab driver. Yes. So he takes the gun and he starts sprinting towards Annie's office. Yep, he's running. He runs past the pedestrian who's on his cell phone, and Max takes the cell phone from the man and he calls Annie using the number on her card. I don't know when he took the card from the sun Visor. I did not care enough to go long. I'm gonna let

it go. Yeah. Unfortunately, the calls and go through the phone batteries on its last legs. Max runs to the top of a nearby parking garage and tries to get to the phone to connect. As we see Vincent entering Annie's office building, time is running short. We cut back to Annie at work. Remember Anne, Remember Annie, good, good, efficient Annie, lawyer Annie. She picks up the phone and is at first confused that he's calling it. I'm assuming he's like four thirty in the morning. She's like,

man, am I regretting giving you my name? This was a mistake, and you know what again, like she is such a good actress because I believe, like that's exactly what I got from her face. As soon as she does, it's like Max's voice. She's like, oh, bro, oh no, I really wish I hadn't given you my number. I read that one wrong. It's gonna be a real hit to the old confidence before my big case starts tomorrow. Max manages to make her believe him by

invoking Felix's name, right. Yeah. Meanwhile, Vincent kicks in Annie's office door, but she's not there, so me the audience, she's like, wait, she's on the phone. Where is she? What's happening? Max begs Annie to leave the building and she's like, okay, fine, I'll okay, gotcha, I believe you. Max's cell phone dies, but unfortunately not soon enough because Vincent, who's at Annie's desk, sees the line in use button, setting him to like the fifteenth floor or whatever it is on

Annie's office phone. Max sprints towards the building as Vincent starts to stalk in him. This was exciting. This is when I'm super on board for this movie because this is this last part, This last ten minutes are very thrilling, right, So Max sees what's happening. He starts sprinting towards the building. Meanwhile, Vincent knocks out the power on Annie's floor before she's able to get a phone call out to nine to one onet row. Just as he's

about to shoot her, Max appears and starts holding him at gunpoint. Yep, stand off. Vincent scoffs at him, and Max shoots him. Fuck you forever boom. Yeah. He grazes the side of his head and he gives he gives himself and Andy enough of a chance to flee, right like, because Vincent does go down for a second. They go down the stairs right, and instead of going out of the lobby, Max is like,

wait, let's go down to the subway. So they go down to the subway, which is in the building right, So in the lobby there is an entrance to the subway. Right. Vincent follows them. I don't like. He has a moment too. He stops in the lobby and he's like, did they get out or did they go down? Did they get out? I'm gonna go to the subway. So they go down to the subway

station. Vincent goes down and again there's another moment where he's like, did they go down the track on the right or the track on the left? Yeah? Which way do I go? And it's like he's almost like meditating. He stops trying to smell them. He stops and he's like, bathe in, Okay, which way did they go? Like a vibe was gonna hit him somehow, but goddamn it it does. He somehow figures out the right way to go. He manages to track them, but not before they're

able to jump on a train ahead of him. So the train is pulling out of the station. Oh no, Vincent, you lost, You're done. You're never gonna be able to catch them. Now they're on a goddamn train. Yep, wrong, wrong? Did I not know the movie I was watching? H huh? Because he manages like the fucking terminator to leap onto the back of a moving subway car and continue his pursuit. Max and Annie stee Vincent approaching, they start to run again. They're running through the

train doors like you always see, right into the different cars. The train arrives at the station, but Vincent manages to force him to stay on the train by stepping off of his exit and like holding his gun point because he knows where they are, so they can't step off off the train themselves. He steps back onto the train at the last minute. He continues to pursue them. Finally, Max and Annie, I presume it's just the last train car they like, stop running. They duck into a side corner. Vincent

is one car away. He shouts, I do this for a living Max. Max is like, you know what, I got a jazz? I got a jazz. He steps forward. There are doors between them. The two open fire at each other. Max's eyes are closed and he is firing. I did not catch that. Yes, that's hilarious, Vincent. He has his professional pattern. Two in the chest, one in the head. The lights flash off and on. Both men are still standing. Vincent goes

to reload his gun, but the cartridge drops to the ground. His bullets were stopped by the metal center of the door, so he didn't hit Max. His professionalism has hoisted him on his own potential. Max meanwhile, just got lucky. Yeah, Max is just shooting. He's praying like, yes, I'm surprised he's he's Yes, he's Miles Davis on this train, Miles Dravis at the trumpet. Max has this I don't know block. So Vincent

sits down. He's losing blood. Max, because the connection between these two is very strong, comes in and sits across from him to be with him on his final moments. You know, best friends there and maybe lovers if only been Yeah, Vincent mumbles. A guy gets on the MTA here in l An dies. I think anyone will notice, and his head falls and he dies, still sitting up covered in blood. I think people will notice the blood like look I get it, like people can die very quietly.

Yeah, and and that that can happen. But you didn't, buddy, you know this one, even a New Yorker would be like, I'm gonna go to the other car and we're gonna need to stop the train. The train arrived at the next station. Max and any stumble out onto the station in the pre dawn light end of movie. Do you think they go get some breakfast? They go to think they go to this like like a like a like a greasy spoon, like a greasy spoon. Absolutely yeah, And

she's like, you know what I owe you breakfast? You know you want to what I do? Respect this movie for they didn't have them kiss, oh god, like they didn't have to be like and now they fell in love. That is the end of Collateral. So stick around. We will be right back with our random observations and final rankings after these messages, and we're back sing to me the notes between the notes one behind the beats. Yeah yeah yeah, je so irritating. Whoopee, gotcha jazz. All right,

there's there's something that actresses have to do. Now. We need to put more respect on them. For Jada Pinkett Smith running in those heels. I was concerned because she looked like she was in pain, and like, obviously they have they have to sprint, right, Like there's any kind of slowing down the running, it's gonna look unrealistic because you're literally running for your life. Yeah, right, So this poor woman. Half the time he was chasing them, I was like, Oh my god, she's gonna bust

an ankle. That's what's gonna happen. She's gonna bust an ankle. He's gonna have to like hoist her over his shoulder or something. And maxim like it is, it's at night. Why would she still mean heels? She would have sneakers at the office that are be wearing sneakers. Let her be barefoot for fuck's sake. Oh yeah, barefoot would be better actually now actual life, but in the movie, right, yeah, like maybe because Jada Pikets made is notoriously like four foot eleven, and so they wanted her to

match up at least a little bit to Jamie Fox. Yeah, they wanted to seem taller than Tom Cruise even the odds there. Okay, Matt's talks about his dream of owning island Limos His business plan is thus, he's gonna have limos so beautiful, so clean, so luxurious that you will not want the ride to end from the airport to your house, right you will want to stay in that limo forever. That is that's how he pitches it to people. And I'm like, I'm going to need a little more information about

what is exactly in this backseat with me? Are there sex workers trying to make me eskew my life? Like I'm going to disregard the rest of my life and stay in this limo dream? But also island limos? Like the idea is that there's like tropical tiki bar. Well, you're like, I've imagine you opened the door to the limo and like sand just flies out, falls out. Can you now are the limos? Can you order a specific island? I want o Wahu, I want MAUI I want I want Saint

Thomas? Is there a hammock? What? What? How big are these? What is exactly? You're like, it sounds like you're gonna need something more the size of a party bus. I'm telling you that right now. I tell you, right now, we're gonna need an RV to make this dream happen. It is the dumbest businessman. The writer this movie thought about this, not at all, not at all, not at all. Yeah,

that's correct. There's just one very brief moment in the movie that I really laughed at because when they're when he's chasing them on the train at the end, and remember we say like he pops out and holds like holds the empty door at gun points so they can't get off the train. If you notice, it's just in the background, but Tom Cruise steps out and he has a gun, and there's just an extra in silhouette, like one hundred feet away sees him step out with the gun and just the ducks and leaves

off, And I'm like, that is funny. That's the only appropriate response I have seen. A yes to this man's shenanigans. Absolutely, were you not at the club? You should have been at the club, sir, Yeah, because you understand what to do when you see someone with a fucking gun. I just have one more And honestly, this is just a complaint, and I don't expect you to answer this seriously. Why did he hold

Max hostage on that? It doesn't make sense. Why why does he what what is the point of getting in a cab even if the guy my endless love. Assuming the guy okay, assuming he goes to plan right, and you kill all five people, you get to the airport, you're good. And does he let Max live? Because Max, again, they're gonna be able to figure out, Like someone will figure out this fucking limo was at all these locations. Yeah, and then Max has like he can identify you

right right, Like, what is the plan? Why can't he just drive himself? I mean it takes several different cabs. I'm gonna try here, I'm gonna try. Look, I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm not going to succeed, but I'm gonna try, all right. So he wants Max because he wants to get it done fast. And he believes that Max, because of the seven minutes thing, is like the fastest cab driver in Lax. He's efficient, right, So that's why he's keeping Max around.

He wants to get to places quickly. He believes Max will be able to outpace the police. Uh huh, I mean okay, so this is assuming that things still okay, this is assuming things go to plan now after that first Okay, now that he is the wiser, Right, what's the rest of your plan? Why didn't he just shoot him and disappear feel the fucking cab to get away or like yeah, like there's just the whole movie is so bizarre. It only makes sense if he is in love with him.

We're at the point now where that is that that may that makes the movie Like he likes him, like like for some reason he likes this guy who has this this dream. I hate this. I hate this stream of island limos of the Canary Islands. I want the Canary Islands. It's the best

one. Weird, Yeah, all right, I only have one more too, and it's because we haven't yet talked about the greatest moment in the whole movie when Tom Cruise is chasing Annie and Max through the office at the very end, at one point, he has to throw a desk chair through like a glass door to get through somewhere, and he throws it through and he

jumps through after it, and he absolutely unintentionally falls. Don't know. I don't know that that's true, but there no one will convince me that that is not Tom Cruise doing a stunt, because Tom Cruise does to do all his own stunts and absolutely eating it on a bunch of prop glass. To his credit, he jumps right back up and completes the shot, so we all know Tom Cruise goes hard. I wonder. I wonder like if Tom Cruise was like, you know what, I never get to fall. Yeah,

let's let's keep that in there. Yeah, Or if Michael Mann was like, don't worry who definitely won't use that shot. Don't worry about it, bro, we're gonna do Let's do five more perfect takes and we will use one of those. Yeah. And then he put this one in the movie because he absolutely falls on the chair, Like, no way was that planned. That's like how Tom Cruise like manages to, you know, climb up that building and do bobbers do all that ship. But then the thing

that breaks his foot is like a five foot jump that he makes. Yeah, because they didn't do as many safety checks with that one. Erica, how how shall we rank this movie? What about? What about one to ten? Random coyotes? Just that's gonna bother me, you know. And when I was watching the movie, I just kind of was like, my fuck it, coyotes. I didn't think about it. And now that I now that I have to think about it, I'm like, but really, why is it? What is that? Because are they free? Because maybe

that's it, They're free, and Max wishes he was free. He wishes he could trade places with that coyote as a wild animal. What if he Freaky Friday didn't there with that coyote. Totally different movie, but you know what, I'd watch it. And then Vincent's like drive and in maxim, when did you turn into a coyote? Meanwhile, that coyote reaches like the rest of the pack and he's like, uh, wolf, wolf, but I don't want And the other coyotes are like, why do you sound like

a person? What happened? One to ten, one hundred dollars bills fanned out into spirit fingers. Those are spirit fingers. These are spirit fingers into Tom Cruise is perfect. He's like, you're right, It's like a Flamenco move. He was so excited to do that, flourish, so happy. This is like, this is my favorite thing I've done all year. One to ten totally empty l A streets, just there Saturday night, LA clearly

empty as hell. Yeah, so stupid. One to ten, Paul, I'd like to tell you a little bit about I want to explain jazz to you. I mean, I think we have to do this one. Yeah, jazz. You know how jazz is. It's improvisational. Man eating. He said that like three times in the movie too. I'm like, I hate everything about this guy. I want I've never been happier for a villain to exhunt because usually when Tom Cruise is in a movie, you don't want him to leave. He's fine, He's like, they managed to suck the

fun out of Tom Cruise. He's a fucking weirdo in real life. We all know this, but like when he's on screen, Look, the man does one thing well, and it sure isn't fu women. He's so he commands our attention nothing. I bet he's pretty good at sex to you. He you know why, because he gives a thousand percent. He gives a thousand percent no matter what task is at hands. I disagree, you will eat you out all day. You know what sex is this? Remember an

episode of Sex and the City where Carrie has sex with the jackhammer. Yes, that's that's sex with Was it Carrier or was it Samantha? I think it was Carrie. It doesn't matter. Yeah, no, no, no, but yeah, they ruined it because it's honestly the first of like all the films we've watched with Tom Cruise, not all of them are good. Mostly Oh in Risky Business is particularly terrible. Yeah, but it's the first time I was like, I don't get you in this. I don't understand

what you're doing. I don't I don't like what they've written for you. I think they've hamstrung you. You're trying your level best. That is definitely clear, but it's like it's a bad fit. Sure, yeah, all right, do you want to go first? Or shall I go first? I'll go first on this one. It's a fun movie. Once you kind of like let go of it being a good movie, it's a much more

fun movie. So I would suggest going into it with that mindset if you were going to watch this movie, like like, just know you're here for something incredibly stupid. It does not pass the Bechdel test at all. Nosed it cut class the day that Bechdel test was being administered. He was not interested in the material. No, it was not. It is diverse. It is I'll give him that. It actually looks a little bit like what

Los Angeles looks like. Right, Like Javey Aerbardam is not Mexican, He's Spanish, but you know, apparently worked very hard to get a Mexican accent. Right, Oh look at him, Look at you, Nancy Drew kind of rose on your nose. So but but you know, you have you have. I didn't recognize that all everyone in the club was Asian when I've watched it. I should watch it again. But like, it does vaguely look like what Los Angeles looks like. You have people of color, you

have people of different races and ethnicities. So that's good. It's not a good movie. Who cares? Who cares? It's stupid and fun and just go into it with that mindset. So I'm I'm I'm willing to give it a pretty decent score because it ages well. You know what is good about it That first scene between Jada Pinkett Smith and Jamie Fox. It's from a different movie. I would have watched a whole movie, a whole Indie with him driving her around l A and then like falling in love are like that?

I was in on that. I was like, this is good. I enjoy this. Yeah, yeah, it's not bad. It's just it's just not as good as I wanted it to be. But again, I think if you go in that way, it's actually better. Like it's like, oh this is dumb. Yeah, I'll give it a six, Okay, I'll give it a six because yeah, no women talk to each other. It's a lot of violence. It's a gay love story, Erica. It's a gay love done this in June. All the criminals are people of

color. Yeah, yeah, that's not great, right, because even like Peter Limb is like a criminal is another criminal, so that's not great either. Allthough the Nazis are white. Oh, this movie does kill some Nazis, but what sick with sick? Let's give it a six because it killed some Nazis. Well, he will go with six six out of ten. Paul, I've come here to talk to you today about yezz. How about you? Uh yeah, I agree with that. It's fun. It is

fun and exactly what you said. Once you realize that all it's trying to do is be fun, you can enjoy it much more. Turn off your brain, do not think about it. It's not worth it. You will not find answers. But yeah, nothing, it is offensive. I think I think the lack of female representation in it would be the big ding on it. But I mean it's really two characters, like it's it's Vincent and Max are eighty five percent of the movie, right, so to a certain

extent whatever, but Max is the lead. I can't believe he got nominated for supporting for this. He's absolutely the lead of the movie. Well that's true. You know what it is is because he knew he was going to get a nomination for Frey and he was like, I can get to in one year if I just yeah, he was hedging his bets. No, you're right, he because yeah, he Otherwise it should have been he should have been put in for lead for lead one hundred hundred category fraud of the

highest order. But he didn't win. So that's, you know, we can we can let that go. Yeah. I don't find myself with an overwhelming amount of stuff to say about it because it's just a dumb, fun action movie, and it's it's not as dumb and fun as the greatest of them. So it's just kind of it's a little mad. You said a six. Yeah, I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give it a six

a six out of ten. Listen, you just have to sometimes in life you gotta improv, you know, you gotta you gotta let the beat happen, and then you gotta walk to your own beat and you gotta feel it. You gotta feel the jazz. By the way I looked it up, Morgan Freeman won Best Supporting Actor that year for A Million Dollar Baby. So you know I like Morgan Freeman that you know that you want to who won Best Supporting Actress When Miss Kate Blanchett a role go Thropod, the Aviator,

the a the perfect symbiotic relationship of actress and roll. It's the It's the Erica Supernova. Uh do you have a palate cleanser for Collateral? You know? I it was looky through Michael Mann's filmography to be like, maybe he's made another film that's a little better than this one that I could recommend to people. Sure, he's made films that are worse. For sure, this is the one of the best Michael Mann films. But he made He did

make The Insider, which I really like, going with Russell Crowe. You don't think it's going to be exciting. It doesn't sound like it's going to be exciting, but they managed to make it exciting. It's about a whistleblower in the cigarette industry, in the tobacco industry, and it's it's very good. So I would say, yeah, if you want a better Michael Mann movie, it's not necessarily more exciting than this one. It's just better,

Okay. Yeah. Otherwise, he's made a ton of really shady movies, if you want to watch one of those, And he made the Ferrari movie that just came out, the one with Adam Driver and his Italian accents. Thats another Adam Driver Italian accent, which doesn't look good, but I bet it's fun as hell. Sure, So anyway, one of those films perhaps, how about you. I'm going to go with another movie from two thousand and four that we own that we consider doing for this month, but we're

not doing spoilers for next week. We're not doing this movie. Mark Ruffalo and thirteen going on thirty. Oh yeah, I have not seen that movie in a while, but I loved it, and I actually really wanted to do it, and we it just didn't fit for this month. But I loved that movie. Jennifer Garner, a Star, Judy Greer a Star, Mark Ruffalo a star, All Stars, All Stars, no skips in this

case. Yeah, thirteen going on thirty, A delightful rom com. Mark Ruffalos, you had a real year this year, said, I'm telling you four people worked in Hollywood two thousand and four. It was Mark Ruffalo, it was Jamie Fox, it was it was Rachel mccadams. Like, that's it, all right, So that is the end of our show. Everyone listening out there in the dark. You can follow us on social media on Instagram, on Twitter, on threads. We have a teap public shop.

We would love it if you would go there and buy something. If you're a Spotify user, we have questions, We have polls on our episodes. If you leave a five star review on Apple, podcas or in fact any podcasting app that you may use, you do that you let us know, just like Taffaa Darling Dude, Taffaa Darling dude. Oh, Taffa the dolling dolling they did that at the beginning of this episode. You let us know that you did it, and we will send you a that aged Well tote

bag. That aged Well is produced and edited by Paul Kola who's holding a gun to my face right now? No, he's not. We don't believe in guns over here unless you're Reba McIntyre. Reamcat is the only person that can be like, hey, girl, want to go out and do some target practice And I'd be like, fuck, yeah, you know what? And Dolly Parton, yes, I don't know. I don't think. Yeah, it should be fun, for sure, but I feel like I could

do better things with Dolly Parton. Rebo was made for target practices. If you want to have a say in the topics we discussed, such as Dolly Parton or Riva McIntyre, who would you rather shoot guns with? Discuss you can join our Patreon. Every patron gets to vote in an exclusive monthly poll to determine one of our subjects. Next week's film is the is the Patreon vig And can I give a spoiler, small spoiler, You're gonna see one

of the actors from this film in next week's film. We're gonna discover another actor that's one of the six that worked in two thousand and four. Only six people worked in two thousand and four. It's not Rachel mccadams is not We're done with her for the month, but one of the actors from Collateral is in next week's film, so yes. Head on over to patreon dot com slash that Age Dwell podcast to find out more, which reminds me.

Some of the tears on our Patreon come with thanks from a podcast character, and today we are hearing from the Italian stallioness Lorraine Broco. Jabbronis Aha, I'm surrounded by Jabroni's and spagati and Pagliaci. Why else would a woman of my statue be here again? I mean I thought I was slumming it when I deign to appear on a hundred plus episodes of TNT's Risoli and Isles. I mean, who the hell wants to spend that much time with Angie goddamn

harmon ha. But no getting trotted out like some kind of morano chandelia every time Tweedled dumb and Tweedle stupid. Want to thank somebody, not even Angie Harman whining that nobody likes her is worse than this. In any case, Thank you to Michael Magillos, Michael Magoulis, michaelman Giless, Michael Mahlos. It's probably one of those I really don't have time to keep fishing, So thank you Michael for being a patron of that aged Well. Okay, wow,

she came in hot. She's unpleasant. I don't know how else to say it. I find her deeply erotic. I mean, we meet her rate. That's the thing, that's the thing she gets paid, So I don't I mean, raise your rate and then maybe we'll stop getting calls. I just love the word Jabbroni's is totally off topic. Every time you say it, it makes me laugh. You like jabbroni's more or less than gaba ghoul? No? I like it more. I like because it's such an in, it's such a fact. I don't even know what it means,

and I don't care. Don't tell me, Okay, don't tell me. But when you call someone a just fucking makes my day excellent. Good to know, Good to know, Erica. Any final thoughts on collateral turn around and I'm gonna shoot you in the back. Yesz fuck this guy? Can you like? The only way he could have been more like untenable is if he had then, like explained football to someone, Yeah he is. If

he'd been like, let me explain to you the rules of football. No yeah, no, no no, and then follow it up with and the coup de gras. I don't think period grams are that bad. Oh God, just shoot me, to shoot me now. It's like I would love for like another character in a movie to stop. So I'm gonna stop you right there. Yeah, I'm forty years old. I know it, Jazz. Yeah, I'm an American. I grew up here like I Yeah, I know it, Jeck, I believe it's an American art force. Do

you need me? Like? Like, what else do you think? I don't know that. You think you might have to explain to me because I can assure you I probably know it. It seems like your barometer on this is off. Yeah. Yeah, are you gonna explain? Like, had to grocery shop next? Is that it? Because I know how to do that too. I've done it. I've done it. I'm good. I'm good.