Today, we are hosted (with our shoes ON) in Andrew Walsh’s and Luke Burbank’s Riverside room! That’s right, it’s another TMBTL of the Dog, our signature Text Me Back x Too Beautiful to Live crossover! And who could say why, but the theme of the episode bubbled organically to the surface, and it’s BOYS. Football, baseball, basketball, Richard Sherman, Rob Lowe, Billy Bob Thornton. Andrew Walsh. Luke Burbank. A veritable smorgasbord of fellas! Also headlining: We nominate who among this quad will ...
Jan 23, 2026•1 hr 19 min•Season 5Ep. 3
We’re back at full capacity (60% of normal human capacity)!!!! It’s so good and cool to be alive right now! Everything is the best!!!!!!!!!~!!! We LIKE it here! Some things we’re seeing that make us feel regular: A grandpa on Tiktok Listening back to unmedicated Lindy Harlan Coban’s entire oeuvre And we’re revisiting the beloved segment Whatcha Watchin’ (PS - call to Jingleheimers! We need a Whatcha Watchin’ jingle!!!). We’re watching Harlan Coben’s slop, and we want to know which of his works Y...
Jan 15, 2026•1 hr 24 min•Season 5Ep. 2
Horsey got them BELL BOTTOM LEGS! Welcome back, darlings, form your intrepid and barely alive hosts! MARIO LOPEZ IS GONNA RUN VENEZUELA and things simply could not be more regular. After a beautiful month of resting and festering, we slither back to you in worse shape than ever. Why? The CDC will never tell 🙉and that’s also good and normal!!!! First on the agenda: Tidings! Lindy and Meagan share their favorite little gifties (the ones their fever-rotted brains can remember), what they did over ...
Jan 08, 2026•1 hr 11 min•Season 5Ep. 1
HAPPY NEW YEAR, OLD MEN/NEW BABIES! It is 2026 (jump scare) and your BBWs are slithering from their clammy shells after a season of stewing in their holiday juices. This is our final post-season rerun, and we cannot wait to return to your tender ears next week with a host of new resolutions and intentions. But in the meantime, you can Pre-Taped Call-In Show us at (703) 829-0003! What do you intend to do about 2026? We also sincerely are so thankful for you and all our beautiful Patrons. Thank yo...
Jan 01, 2026•1 hr 19 min•Season 4Ep. 22
Ho ho ho!!!!! We know your horse is lean and lank without fresh BBWs in your ears this cold December, but we don’t want you to be too upsot. You’ve all been sooo good this year that we’ve decided to give you two really special gifts: 1) The first gift is knowing your BBWs are taking some time off and are in full festering mode on their respective couches and floorbeds. 2) And the second little gift is a delicious re-air of a Pledge Drive ep with perfect angel Alice Wetterlund. We’re talking abou...
Dec 25, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Season 4Ep. 21
‘Tis a long cold December without thine BBWS. But fear not! For we bring you the gladdest tiding of all: an episode with certified snack Ronald Young, Jr.! We uncovered this from our Pledge Drive Archives, and we know ALL of our fellow BBWs out there will be delighted anew by Big Ron’s presence. Plus, in this episode Lindy FAMOUSLY recaps the Phantom of the Opera Wikipedia, extending the Erik from the Sewers lore. If you missed our Pledge Drive lives on Youtube for some unthinkable/unknowable re...
Dec 18, 2025•1 hr 13 min•Season 4Ep. 20
Rerun? What’s that? Don’t be mad at us! We’re taking a little seasonal break BUT WE STILL HAVE SOME GREAT STUFF RUNNING ON THE FEED TO KEEP YOU FED. Today, we are revisiting our iconic Pledge Drive 2025 ep featuring Emmy award winning writer Guy Branum. Guy shares his recent experience being fat on an airplane (not a crime) wherein he was assaulted (crime). Just a little reminder to – as Meagan says – pack your patience this traveling season. Download a few of our early episodes to keep you cozy...
Dec 11, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Season 4Ep. 19
Today we bring you the gift of all gifts. Hop onto your lean and lank little horsie because we are officially kicking off the holidays with the full-length German carol SCHLITTENFAHRT. You are preemptively WELCOME. No thank you notes required, simply head on over to Patreon.com/textmebackpod to tell us how much you love it and how much you adore us. And if you are as obsessed with our legendary Jingleheimer Robert as we are AND you live near Carmel, Indiana, giddy up that jinglehorse and go see ...
Dec 04, 2025•1 hr 28 min•Season 4Ep. 18
We are swaddling you back into one of favorite and coziest episodes of all time, the ORIGINAL Cozy Episode (2023). And if you can believe it, little has changed. We are still subbing out our antidepressants for gallons of Pennsylvania Dutch, and we are still into electric blankies. But we hate to leave you with a dope beat to step to, so TUNE IN FOR NEW LORE. Lindy has an untrademarked holiday that you can take for your own and baby you’ll NEVER guess what they call it. Next week we’ll be back w...
Nov 27, 2025•41 min•Season 4Ep. 17
What a smörgåsbord of delights in this episode. We introduce MULTIPLE new segments: Lindy’s Dream 💭💤 Meagan Doesn’t Have Any Situational Awareness Lindy’s Stupidest Hyperfixation Yet! As well as returning to a few fan favorites: Dog Thoughts x I Can Fix Her (🎀 Floorbed Edition 🎀) Whatcha Watchin’ And don’t forget to grab your go-bags, because we’re talking disaster preparedness!!! What do you do when the power goes out? How did you shelter in place as a kid in your weird part of the world? W...
Nov 20, 2025•1 hr 17 min•Season 4Ep. 16
Welcome to our BICENTENNIAL (??) EPISODE! In this famous Text Me Back episode you will experience the feeling of aging two years in just 75 minutes! We start off strong with a We Done Done It Again (Dept. of Corrections) where we humbly correct the record to share that Jeff Merkley (of Senatorial fame) stood BY HIS OWN POWER NONSTOP for 22 hours. We got it twisted, and we generally advise against that! And since Text Me Back is your go-to political podcast, Lindy quizzes herself LIVE! How many U...
Nov 13, 2025•1 hr 14 min•Season 4Ep. 15
ONE STEP CLOSER TO BECOMING THE JOE ROGAN OF THE LEFT. That’s what they’re saying! Hello and welcome back to Text Me Back Podcast, the ONLY podcast with a segment called JEFF. This week’s Jeff: Famously good-humored U.S. Senator of Oregon Jeff Merkley. He’s here to ring-a-ding-ding those authoritarian alarm bells and give us a layout of how our Democracy is imperiled, and why the fight is still very much worth fighting. He’s focused on sharing 1) moves from the authoritarian playbook 2) the impo...
Nov 06, 2025•51 min•Season 4Ep. 14
This week, Meagan is processing last week’s spectacular Seattle Mariners loss to the ToronTOE Blue Jays. Thank you to all our listeners who attended Meagan’s pity party, gifting her nothing but kindness. We also got an incredible write-in from friend of the show Cailin!! Thank you for your corroborating evidence that Meagan was among the Most Insp.! And if you’re former coach Brian, we’re waiting on you to write in, you coward, we KNOW you’re listening!!!!! We’re standing by our phone waiting fo...
Oct 30, 2025•1 hr 11 min•Season 4Ep. 13
Did you hear what they were talking about on Text Me Back this week?? They spent 45 minutes on bloody diarrhea, 45 minutes on obscure Seattle mascots, and an hour and half on walking downhill!! And in our tidings…Lindy gives us the latest on Barry, who is fine, probably! Pre-order Adult Braces now! Most of those dollars will go to Barry’s $4500 vet bill!!!! And in other news, the rumor is that Meagan’s hat had nothing to do with the Seattle Mariners losing the ALCS??? Or is she SOLELY responsibl...
Oct 23, 2025•1 hr 25 min•Season 4Ep. 12
We asked, and you jingle-jangled our dang phone off the hook. Thank you to all our beautiful jingle horses who called and texted in to tell us that you too exist within Lindy’s Mandela mind. But the mystery continues…we, we MUST find the original Wee Sing Christmas. Is it in Lindy’s piano bench? Is it in her OTHER piano bench??? Only one way to find out (looking inside both benches). And special shoutout to Robert aka OUR ANGEL for calling in with a special German rendition of Jingle Bells!!!! W...
Oct 16, 2025•1 hr 15 min•Season 4Ep. 11
Welcome to Text Me Back Podcast: A FILM Podcast!!! Somehow no spoilers, but we are talking about Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another. Have you seen??? This is what our Discord was made for…just SAYinnnng. You’re one little Patreon subscription away from your people over at https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod . Besides being ~film critics~ we are also debunking the Mandela Effect so we’re basically WOMEN IN STEM TOO!!! Did Lindy alienate you by tearing down possibly your only hope t...
Oct 09, 2025•1 hr 17 min•Season 4Ep. 10
Y’all…you are sick and we hope you never get well. This week we wanted to highlight some of our favorite moments from people’s princess and Emmy award winning writer Guy Branum, people’s princess and star of stage and Twitch stream Alice Wetterlund, and people’s menace and certified snack Ronald Young, Jr. Honorable mention and pre-emptive RIP to Meagan’s Emo-Meter 🌡️and a Very Special shoutout to the fine curators of the Phantom of the Opera wiki. And you all? You showed UP for us. It seems th...
Oct 02, 2025•1 hr 24 min•Season 4Ep. 9
Lindy and Meagan were LIVE! If you’re reading this, you have ONE MORE DAY to tune into our week of livestreams on Youtube.com, the only YouTube. 9pm ET // 8pm Central // 6pm PT. Enjoy ALL of our previous lives only at: https://www.youtube.com/@textlindyandmeaganback And definitely consider joining our Patreon at www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod . In today’s episode, you hear some glad tidings from Lindy’s Florida trip! From the clear waters of Florida’s panhandle to — in the words of someone in our...
Sep 25, 2025•1 hr 7 min•Season 4Ep. 8
🎺🎀SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT 🎀🎺 Next week, we at Text Me Back Podcast (The Only Podcast) are launching our 1st Annual Pledge Drive LIVE on youtube.com!!!! The chat will be open, new merch will be dropping, and on Monday 9/22, the INCREDIBLE SAMANTHA IRBY (of the Text Me Back extended universe!!!) will be joining us! What will MHM’s thermometer look like? Will Lindy’s rat tails survive? Will they say something cancellable live and be ousted from the podcast landscape forever?? Only three timezones ...
Sep 18, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Season 4Ep. 7
This week we have something delicious for our BBLs. We’re doing one big round juicy segment with our angel/tormentor Big Ron aka Ronald Young Jr.!!!! The topic? The Biggest Loser documentary Fit for TV . Which brings us to... 🚨CONTENT WARNING 🚨 Discussion of: the fat shot drug, people sometimes getting less cute when they lose weight (scream emoji), and extreme diets and extreme weight loss. Boy oh boy does this doc not hit any particular mark!!! But I guess we’re here to pick up the scraps an...
Sep 11, 2025•1 hr 40 min•Season 4Ep. 6
🚨CONTENT WARNING 🚨 We did a couple bad things in this episode including: We play clips from that guy we hate (skip first 4min if you literally cannot, we get it!) We violate the No-Giggle Pledge about that guy we hate Weekend at Donny’s: Donald Trump is dead??? We continue to talk about the Gaylord Texan waterpark closure 😔 Plus NORMAL BREAKING NEWS: Not one but TWO new jingles??? Shrew updates (you’ll never guess what the final tally is) Ned!!!!!!!! Textmebackolytes, we need you oiled, suite...
Sep 04, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Season 4Ep. 5
What’s up, Gaylords?? (← texas reference) This week, Lindy and Meagan hit the dusty trails again with their tiny influencer mics. That’s right. These two BBWs take BBW flights to Dallas, Texas for Podcast Movement, the only movement. And where else would they rest their gorgeous heads but at THE Gaylord Texan? The place where the DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS live?? So we’re networking, we’re being networked at, we’re eating chicken, we’re eating pickles. A-plot? No spoilers, but it involves a zip ...
Aug 28, 2025•1 hr 16 min•Season 4Ep. 4
You won’t believe who we have on the podcast today. She’s a Phillies fan and a Gritty stan 🔔 she’s anti-youth culture 🫶and she washed these guys 💇♀️that’s right it’s… KELSEY MCKINNEY. Kelsey McKinney—beloved Normal Gossip queen, Defector co-founder, and Philly’s own sports mascot oracle—joins the pod for a completely deranged round of FMKHFDCGT with Philadelphia sports mascots. From the chaotic genius of Gritty to a suspiciously off-brand cat from Villanova, Kelsey herself ranks, judges, and...
Aug 21, 2025•1 hr 27 min•Season 4Ep. 3
Hi besties! This week Lindy and Meagan are here with Tidings (vole/shrew updates), Two Minutes Hate (featuring a special guest and piping hot takes on a certain astrophysicist), and SO MUCH MORE (aka we already forgot what we talked about!). One thing we cannot forget, however…the dangerous influence of publicly spent white lady tears. White ladies…you be careful with that shit mmkay? Meagan is on edge, in awe, and low-key traumatized, sweeties. Write in with your own white lady tears stories by...
Aug 14, 2025•1 hr 2 min•Season 4Ep. 2
We’re back, sweeties! Can you believe? Lindy is dying to know: how ARE you?? This week we are joined by new best friends Liz Feldman and Jessi Klein! We’re here to titillate, entertain, and alienate these two (of the famed Here to Make Friends podcast). You know Dead to Me. You know Big Mouth. You’re gonna be obsessed with these two, but WE GOT HERE FIRST SO BACK OFF. But first, it has been a minute and so we must TIDE!!! Lindy comes with vole tidings with major updates/plot twists. And we sneak...
Aug 07, 2025•1 hr 20 min•Season 4Ep. 1
You guysssssss, guess whaaaaat?? We’re basically back! We are thrilled to share the long lost Popeye segment recorded in a special tin can! Forget everything you THOUGHT you knew about Popeye the Sailor Man! Lindy is bringing justice to a long-forgotten character who is ACTUALLY the reason that little freak is so strong. We also share a mysterious file titled SPIDERS that Lindy and Meagan too are hearing for the first time! Spider-fearing vegans sound off in the comments but be nice because reme...
Jul 31, 2025•46 min•Season 3Ep. 29
Another perfectly timely conversation with pop cultural commentary that remains at the top of everyone's minds!!!! This week we resurface a Patreon Exclusive and bring it to the masses. Comedian Guy Branum, BEST friend of the show, sat down with Text Me Back co-host Lindy West for a TMB Patreon Exclusive conversation about the Netflix hit series BABY REINDEER. These geniuses explore VITAL questions such as: Is it good for the fats? Is it good for the gays? What is the duty of art? Is it always b...
Jul 24, 2025•37 min•Season 3Ep. 28
We’re awake, we’re awake! That’s right, Lindy and Meagan are WIDE AWAKE and here to share a super special previously-only-found-on-Patreon episode from our After Dark series! And this week (aka many months ago) we’re talking about Britbox, baby. BUT FIRST, we have to talk about Whatch We’re Readin’! Thank you to our lovely Discord/Patreon participants for sending us the “where to start with Terry Prachett” starter kit. We want to know what you’re reading! Join the chat already patreon.com/TextMe...
Jul 17, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Season 3Ep. 27
Listen, we gatekept just a little 🤏. We’ve been dimming the full light of this famous episode on the main so that our Patrons could revel in a megawatt jolt of superiority. But it’s time to release the full ep for the masses. And it has nothing to do with the fact that we are on break and don’t have a new episode for you this week, no matter what our Patrons tell you! This week’s fan-favorite episode just got a little fan-favorite-ier. Take a walk back in time with us, won’t you? To set the sce...
Jul 10, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Season 3Ep. 26
Okay faithful listeners!! DON’T PANIC but this is the last episode before our summer break! We hope you too are preserving your sanity in whatever way you can. But don’t worry! We will still be doing podcast stuff like guesting on other pods, recording with a few fabulous guests for Text Me Back, releasing our free newsletter NEWSLETTER ME BACK , and god forbid taking a few big long naps. And we’ll also give you a few fun things in the feed to make sure you don’t ghost our asses for good. Our fi...
Jun 26, 2025•1 hr 14 min•Season 3Ep. 25
