447 days in hospital!

quite grown up. After a lesson in stellar academic career as a border at one of Brisbane's girls' schools, she floated around for a few years doing a variety of jobs, badly, notably working for her father, who was a dentist. He fired her, which was fair because she kept closing her eyes and wincing whenever he used a drill, resulting in patients having their tongue sucked into the whimsically named saliva rejector.

Kathy has an arts degree and holds a post grad qualification in English literature and public administration, so nothing practical, which could be her life subtitle. She has been a tafe teacher, worked in QPS Queens and Police Service, disastered a response in the Department of Emergency Service as a protocol officer for the two thousand e Comgames, and is now professionally delightful and very occasionally quite clever as a manager in the public service. And this is the bit

I love before getting asked cancer in twenty twenty. Kathy was an active member of the Brisbane cycling community, including the women's only Facebook group Brisbane Chicks who Ride Bikes with four and a half thousand members. Kathy used to take absolute beginners out on rides with some of the other more experienced riders to show them safe and flatways to get around Brisbane using bike paths and quiet backstreets.

Kathy also used to provide highly unprofessional social media coverage with her good friend Jordana at the Women's tour down Under an Adelaide. Juldana and Kathy once got so drunk at a cellar door tasting they missed the end of the race. After escaping hospital after four hundred and forty seven days, Kathy was in the private system for around six months and then moved to the public sector to

under take rehab. She is now struggling to figure out her new normal post cancer treatment as immutenist and resentful member of the Chair and Wheels Society. Chair with Wheel Society, Kathy's written a blog about her experience on the public Facebook, an unsatisfactory turn of events. She is also a pet guardian for a resentful and ungrateful rescue cat called Bumble, who I have to say I love, but her true calling is to befriend my glorious dog Lola.

I met this quite pleasant surgeon on the Wednesday, who said, I'm not operating you on the Friday because it's I think it's stage four and you're going to die. You need to have your affairs in order, and they actually say you need to have your affairs in order. And I had this incredible hot flush go from the left hand side of me to the right hand side of me, which was obviously adrenaline or something, and I was yeah, and suddenly I had cancer. So then he took it

to his multidisciplinary team and they did rady. I had to do radiography or radiation treatment at the PA. I was a private patient in the public system at the PA, and I did cancer treatment privately with chemotherapy, and my sister and I didn't go to the chemotherapy orientation day, so they kept saying this is going to happen and you're going to feel this way, and we're thinking, this is awful. So I had radiation and chemotherapy and then I had an operation done. They put a temporary iliostomy

in and everything was fine. About twelve months later, I got very sick. I had chemotherapy and radiation sickness. I was going blind. I was supposed to do twelve rounds of chemotherapy. They had to reduce it to six because I nearly did, which was a bit dramatic. So then

I was feeling fine. I went back to. I went back in to see my doctor again about ten months later after I'd had this operation and the recovery and stuff, and I had a recurrence and then things got really serious, so I had to have what's called a total pelvic exoneration, so basically every organ from my belly button down was removed, and they said, best case scenario is you'll have a limp. Worst case scenario you'll be in a wheelchair, And sadly, I'm worst case scenario.

and it said emotionally emotionally exhausted. Because I didn't want to talk to anybody. I didn't want to go into these radiation and hear from Clive from Gatton about what he was doing, and Sarah from Crow's Nest about what was happening with her. I didn't want to be part of the cancer club. I just want to I just want my life back. So but I was also very lucky.

I've had a very very good mental health professional walking with me the whole way, who was already looking, who was already part of my medical team before all of this happened. So I've leant very heavily on him. I was talking to one of the junior consultants and I said something like blah blah blah, and I went to sleep and I woke up and I was mutilated. He was extremely anxious that I was discussing my condition, that I was mutilated. But to be honest with you, I was.

I went to sleep and I was fine. I could walk, I could do everything. And I woke up I couldn't walk anymore and I had huge, great, big open scars all down my front, all down my back. I was in a kman for eight weeks after my second big operation. So I went to sleep I think in June, and I woke up and sort of the Tour de France was sort of on. Wow, Yeah it was crazy.

And the guy that looked after that sort of component was astounded because I had Usually when people have a mania, they'll have like I had hallucinations and stuff, and the nurses would say, oh, you know, we're going to give you a bed bath now, and I say, do you think we should not ask everyone else to leave? And it was just the nurses and me. But I had on my left hand side, I had a woman dressed in regency like sort of pride and preadjuiced sort of clothes,

sitting there quietly tap a string. And I had this cat that would jump out of the TV that would sit on my lap. And I had all of these soldiers. But he said, the remarkable thing was that the soldiers weren't attacking me. They were guarding me. It's very unusual for people who have a mania to have people who are guarding them. And I said to my sister.

When I was in intensive care and was really fretful and I couldn't couldn't calm me down, my friends and family would read Jane Austen and they all said, on my left and I had one particular girlfriend who I'm really good friends with, and she flew up from Melbourne in the morning, walked straight into intensive care where you know, I sat down read Jane Austin to me all day and went home.

run into each other. You're quite happy to chat about everything else and everyone else, and we turn the subject to you and you'll talk a little bit, and then you always seguay out.

news all the time. I don't know who Nancy is, but I think it's and I think a lot of it, too, is because I was in a relationship for twenty years and at breakdown before I got sick, And to be honest with you, I'm kind of glad I was by myself and I didn't have a partner when I was well since I've been sick, because I've only had to look after myself and you can, oh, she's the worst bumbles devil, But it's that whole thing about if you've got a partner, you also have to see how they're

going and how are they coping, and are they feeling resentful and all of that sort of stuff. Where Also, I had my sister who in the blog I called the Goat. She was originally the MVP for the Most Vasual Player, but she's been promoted to the Goat and Marvelous Paul, her husband and Arnie Margaret, who's ninety three now.

She's my consult physiotherapist. She was my dad and sister and mother Meg and the fire and I had all these people that loved me and were around me all the time, but they also had, like Susie had her own family outside of that, you know, so I wasn't the primary focus focus. And it also lets Susie and Mum and everyone go home and say, God, I'm sick of cancer. I'm sick of too. Can we not talk about my child or my sister because I'm sick of her? She sucks.

a mat. It was a hover mat that hovermaped me onto the thing, and then that put me onto this tilt table and they'd sort of wench me up to ninety degrees and I would get to thirty degrees and start vomiting, which was really attractive because I hadn't had my hair washed it about three weeks. Actually, pro tip, if you've got anyone who's going into hospital for a long time, you need to actually learn how to French braid,

and you can just French brade blade their plats. Yeah, and if you haven't got a sister who can do that, Susie learned how to do that when was in detention at high school. But if you haven't got a sister that can do it, you need to make friends with girls who are harsy people because they can do the same braids that they did on their horses, because it just keeps it off your face and it doesn't matter

how greasy it gets. But so i'd gone too the tilt table, so I and I used to have to after a few weeks because nobody knew what was happening. They couldn't understand why I wasn't recovering very well. And after a few weeks I studied using this thing called the Sarah steady, which is a torture device where you sort of have to sort of bend ford and stand up by yourself and push yourself up and then you'd sit down like you're on a chariot and they move you to the bathroom while they move you to the

shower and stuff like that. So it took me, I think about six weeks to learn how to use a Sarah steady, and that was a too assist. So by the time I went, I could not go to rehab while I still had a pump dressing or what are the vacuum dressings, and they have the they've got the huge dressings, and they have that machine that sucks all your bits and pieces together.

and most of it was muscle mass. And because I was a cyclist and super super fit, I used to have these massive quads and massive, massive glutes and these huge carves. I used to have to wear special boots because my cars were so big. So yeah, I lost a lot of weight.

would have been on your sacred It was not cool. Yeah, everybody was mad, and yeah I felt like they were mad with me, but I think the nursing stuff women more mad with themselves.

So one of the things that I'm really pleased about is that I was Look, I did the right thing. I'll put extra money into my superannuation stuff. But I traveled significantly before I got sick, so none of that whole I'll wait until I retire and I'll take myself off to England, or I'll wait till I retire and I'll go to Italy and stuff like that. So when I was lying in my hospital where The only real regret how I had was that I never got to Japan.

But like I went to Sri Lanka. I've been to England in America, and I don't know Thailand and Vietnam and all sorts of places and the Pilbra region and everything. So you've lived life. Well, yeah, I had to. You only get one shot at it, and you've done great well, I think so like, but I think the main if I had to be less learn the lesson was it's to not focus on yourself all the time because you're not that interesting, but also to give people. People would

come in there say, oh this is happening. My husband's drive me nuts, or you know why wife's an idiot or whatever. You know, because people talk to you, particularly if you're in a hospital bed. You've got nowhere to go, so you can't sort of suddenly so I'll just put a load of washing on. But people will talk to you and then they say, oh, look I feel terrible,

but it's nowhere near as bad as you can. I say, just because it's not as bad as me doesn't mean that you're not feeling rubbish and doesn't mean that your husband isn't being a jerk, and your kids aren't being difficult, so I think one of them. And even today I said to someone, look, just because I can't walk doesn't mean that, you know, you feeling bad, isn't feeling bad. So I think I think I did all right. But I think that's probably because I've got pretty good values from the family.

was the first time I was sick. I was at the mart of private and we had forty fifty bouquets of flowers were being delivered right and I'm on special case ione Keddymine, I'm like trying to fight people and being hideously awful, and my sisters can be She's really nice. Look at the flowers's they So we had all of these people wanted to come and see me and flowers and that people were so supportive, and all it did

was put me under enormous pressure to get better. So when I had the total pelvic exit, we actually made a decision as a family and as the inner sanctum to not let anyone know what hospital I was in at all. So so anyway, but the boss's boss boss found out where I was. I told her where I was staying so she would come and see me at hospital. But I actually, when I was still an inpatient in the public system, I actually was working the equivalent of

two days a week. So they brought in all of these computers and all of these laptops, and I had a desk and stuff like that, and the hospital, the ward got me. I had a private room, which is very unusual because nobody could read the stuff on my computer because it was top secret. But they helped me get back to work a couple of days a week.

Now it wasn't difficult work, but it was work. And my income protection insurance had run out as well, so I kind of was I thought that went on for na Sadly, I know it for two years, so I had a lot of time long long Servicely I had income protection insurance for two years. You can change your level of income protection insurance, but mine was for two years, which was the maximum you could take at the time.

I got sick and because I had a recurrence, they said it was the same illness, so I couldn't get it again. So I was on center Link And never again will I say anything about people who can't live on Central Link benefits because it's nothing. So anyway, I wasn't centralingk for a while, but I was in hospital, so I wasn't doing anything. So then I got back to work and then I'm now working in the office

a few days a week. I'm doing a different role to my normal one, but my goal is to do my normal job because I've got the best team in Australia. But they've been so kind and at the moment, they're getting four doors replaced with those push buttons because I can't get in and out of the doors, which they asked to be done in I think August, but they're now only getting it now done now because builders and

stuff like that. But yeah, they've been so kind. And when I went back to work, I actually haven't been to a lot of different flows because I feel highly conspicuous in the chair and I actually feel a bit ashamed of myself that I'm not better because everyone was so kind to me. I feel like I've let people down that I'm not walking. Really, yeah, it's a big burden.

But I just see your bright, beautiful face. I don't see the other stuff except your sister when she's bulling you, and.

Got myself there and I came in and there were two people at the table next to me and they stared at me and stared at me and stared at me. And he was eating with his mouth open, and she was wearing terrible shoes, so they were obviously the devil. But the guy that was opening was looked at me, and I looked at him. You know, it's kind of that I see you looking at me, And I said, yeah, it's a pretty impressive bit of kid, isn't it, Because

I'd reversed myself in and everything. And he just kept looking at me with his mouth open, like chewing his mouth. And then he turns to his wife and says, I wonder what's wrong with her? And I thought, oh god, I didn't. I didn't know what to do. And then the woman with the ugly shoes, who would have to be his wife, because you wouldn't eat with it. Why would you eat with someone you eat with the mouth open. But anyway, she was saying, I don't know, she doesn't

look too sick to me. I bet she's just putting it on.

service officers, and judicial officers so like that. So everybody was really mad. And the best thing was that I could actually outsource that anger. And someone said, oh, you know, you're such a great advocate. I don't want to be a friggin advocate. I want my life back, do you know. And it's it's difficult because my life before was so active. I was never home on the weekends. I was always riding a bike or and half that was because I

didn't you know, I was at home, wasn't home. So I don't quite know what to do with myself on the weekends.

It's much easier for children to learn languages because I don't take it personally if they mispronounce something, because they mispronounce everything, you know, count the number of steps one, two, three, four and all that sort of stuff. So you have learnt the skills to cross the road, but you've forgotten about it because it's intuitive. Yeah, yeah, whereas I have the only intuitive thing that I and this is I think I was saying to you. All of my relationships

are different. I'm not doing the same work that I used to do. I'm not living where I used to live because even though I own the place it has stairs, I can't go home. I haven't got any of my artwork up on the walls because I'm renting. You know, everything has different, but the only thing that's the same is I have Bumble, who doesn't like me and never has Bumbles a rescue cat and should be more grateful. But so it's it's difficult. It's a difficult geek. And like for me to get out of bed in the

morning takes me ten minutes. I've been timing myself back, have you, Yeah, yeah.

tempted to do lots of things. I kind of just needed to settle for the next day in months and just calm down and try and consolidate some stuff. It's difficult, Like normally I would travel every eighteen months and go overseas and come back with horrific credit card bills because I'm bad at conversion or I think no, fifty euros can't certainly cut be one hundred dollars, it's far too expensive,

must be twenty five. So I don't have any goals or aspirations, which is really difficult for me because I can't plan and I grew up in the hole. If you filed a plan, you're planning to fail. So yeah, So the next next eight ten months for me is just calming down a bit and trying to not get I think paralyzed with terror. Every three months when I

have the scans, that's a low point. You know, if you're paying twelve hundred dollars for a scan, I mean I could spend twelve hundred bucks at a day, so but I have a much better time.

but I will not wait. And also my main surgeon is in the private sector, so he can access them electronically easier to.

nana and my mum's sister, they're all nurses. So no, I'm going to get smacked in the face if I upset the nursing stuff. Without exception, all of the nurses were very kind to me in the private system. I think that the patient to nurse ratio is much lower. And I must admit the nurse teams that looked after me and the nurse director who looked after me in the private system, and the director of nursing came to see me and stuff like everyone was really nice to me,

which is so bizarre. But they would come and like one of the nurses were coming in, she'd spray like you know, aromatherapy missed around and they like they would seriously. One of the would come and rob my head so I could go to sleep better, and they were so kind. In the public system, I think there's a much higher patient to nurse ratio, so I don't think they have

the space perhaps to give as much individualized attention. And also, like the in the public system, I was sharing so when I was in the rehab ward, you only had females in rooms. If you were sharing a room in the main hospital, you had males and females in the same way. That sucked. That that sucks big time.

being in hospital, all right. And it was day four hundred and forty seven, and I was in a shared ward and there was a lot of in and out people coming into this particular ward, and I've been there for maybe four or five days, and I'd had somebody next to me in a bed who was very psychiatrically unwell and was trying to self harm, who was waiting,

I think, to get into the mental health component. She had down Arexians and was trying to she was unwell, but you know, the security is coming up and you know, restraining her and all that sort of stuff. Anyway, and I said, oh, well, Susus, I got to get over

yourself gaf. Anyway, she came up and I'd had to have a shower and I was obviously in a wheelchair, in a bath chair, and I'd been left in the shower for forty five minutes after I'd had a shower, because nobody could answer the bell to come and get me out, and because I was sharing a war with men and women, I actually didn't feel comfortable calling out

for someone to come and help me. And then the door kept being and knocked on because all these men wanted to have showers because they were going in for it was just the worst. And then the lowest point I was saying, and Susie came in. She said, oh, no, she's possibly not exaggerating, which is a nice change for me. And the junior nurse said to me, oh, look, if you can just pop up and step over here, and I went, I can't freaking walk, I mean, bloody hell fire,

but yeah, so I think I have the chance. You read the charts pit. I actually said that to an occupational therapy but she came in and said, I think we'll just walk around, or just go around and set in the sun and breathe in and breathe out. And I said, have you read my file? Do you know who I am? But I think that the patient to start ratio is I don't I believe is much higher. You know, you've got more staff to less patients in

the public system private system. I don't know if conditions are better or worse in public versus private for the nursing and.

many amazing things that are around you. Are having your own space but also being able to work in that, you know, while you're going through rehab, actually contributing and not feeling like a patient.

so nobody knew where I was. But also I was talking to people that neither knew nor cared that I'd been unwell, so they either liked me or disliked me based on the skills qualifications, humor or otherwise that I brought to the table, which was kind of nice as well.