I am Eva Oh, and this is The Tea King Podcast. I have been a dominatrix since 2011, and I would like to spill the tea on my life. Thank you for listening. Welcome to part two of my little mini-series on the very large topic of power. It's been a little bit of an investigation. I opened the first episode with my random meanderings. on the ways that I started to think about power when I started to do this job as a dominatrix, if you didn't know that.
Yeah, and I think one of the bigger takeaways is something that I'm going to explore on this episode. So yeah, the bigger takeaway being... And why does the dominatrix even exist? Yeah, so... I mean, when somebody first said the word to me, you should become a dominatrix, kind of jokingly, I didn't think much of it except for this picture in my mind of this woman in black leather holding a whip, yeah? But did I think about power? Did I think about...
why that role exists. No, it was literally just a picture in my mind and a tiny little bit of a conversation and we move on with our lives. But then came the day when I wanted to try something different. I looked up this word and again, definitions didn't come up. It was more a venue came up, a dungeon came up. And because I was looking for work and I needed to pay my bills.
That was what was at the forefront of my mind, not really thinking about what the job meant aside from what it needed to be, like what role I needed to enact. I think only over time, like a lot of time. Probably, maybe even only recently. Like in the last, I don't know, four years or so. I've been doing this for much longer than that. But did I start to really think about what the job meant?
And I did do an episode that kicked all of this off called What is a Dominatrix? That went into the practicalities of the thing. But I think what is interesting for me... is that I've learned over time that if the power structures that be were not as they are, My job would not exist. There's a reason why there are so many female dominatrices and why there are not. as many male doms. And we're going to talk about that reasoning, that line of thought today.
Because being a dominatrix and having time once I was more financially secure and had the headspace and started to get more philosophical about my being. Being a dominatrix has taught me that my personality as a more dominant more assertive woman, is not welcomed in society to the point where it's not commonplace. therefore becomes something sidelined or driven to a corner.
that it becomes a thing that needs to be compartmentalized into a fetishized space that is often compartmentalized even further as a paid service. So yes, that's it. That's the episode. But actually, I feel like that was a pretty good summarization of a summary of my thought. We could break that down a little bit more, but I think that really was my main point that, you know, on one level, it's a lot of fun and it's very satisfying.
There's a lot of things that I've learned from being able to have a space for the more natural aspects of my personality to be validated and to be adored and to be paid. remunerated, remunerated. Somebody has teached me which one of those is the correct way to pronounce that word. But it's also made me realize how different the concept of an assertive woman has been historically. Maybe there's more space for it. in our present day. But maybe not.
I feel like I move in certain circles where that assertion is more normalized. But if I think about the parts of the internet that... People not within my now immediate circles operate in. I think there's still a lot left to be desired.
So yeah, that's been an interesting realization to realize that the power structures that be are... operating in a fashion that doesn't encourage female agency and therefore it gets relegated to a secret space where people are able to draw artifice within it and like fantasy towards it.
and create this luscious story and archetype that is rich and textured and really interesting to engage with, but is also like a... correlation as to the way that the fact that it is relegated to a corner that the dominant female is relegated to a corner to the point of fetishization and permeation in fantasy. Is this a good, a bad thing? I have clearly gathered and gained a lot of good from it. I think that it's... Being able to step into that archetype has taught me how to move those.
Parts of myself that those parts of my personality into the forefront more so and Doing that on a repeated basis has been able to bring it forth into my day-to-day even more so to the point where I feel comfortable having a podcast and this kind of thing with my opinion. And it seems to be... interesting and helpful to many of you, which is great. But is it kind of like, yeah, I wonder why I'm at this point. Maybe there's something about...
Being the antidote to the cause for me in this podcasting, in this being visible. And maybe I'm both. Maybe. I think the fact that you can see that I'm a textured human being is maybe more the antidote. And maybe when I initially stepped into the artifice, which... Artifice is not necessarily a negative word. The artifice of the dominatrix was more one-dimensional and it did give me an opportunity somewhere simple to start to practice.
those parts of my personality in a more simplistic form since it was so out of capacity for me. But I think that it's important to evolve into. the texture of a full personality. Yeah. So it's been interesting to realize that, you know, my career. And this role exists because of the inverse of what I'm supposed to be channeling, you know, the fact that women don't have power.
in a large way. Yeah, so chicken and the egg, it kind of feels like. And another thing I wanted to sort of touch on was... whether my role is detrimental, actually. But I think I also sort of touched on that already too, right? I think I'm at a point, this might evolve, this thought might evolve for me, but I kind of feel like if I had stayed in that one-dimensional doms only everywhere.
shiny clothes. I always dressed out on this podcast as a little bit of a statement. I did the first series in a PVC sort of sleeveless. catsuit. But I just thought, you know, like this whole thing is about giving texture and deeper understanding to people's perception of what a sex worker is. And I think also it's what a dominatrix is. And so it's kind of like I just wear what is most easy for me to be wearing, which is really casual.
and might not be what people are necessarily expecting, but it'd be so unmotivating for me to have to dress up every time. So I think what my point being. That if I had stayed in this one-dimensional, only the pretty pictures and the very, very curated sort of art. I think that there's a place for that, but me in my value set and what I would like to bring to my life and the world.
and to the world's understanding of sex work and a dominatrix and women with power. I think that staying in a one-dimensional archetype or... image or iconography, icon, I'm using it more in that sense than maybe the more modern way, I think is dangerous and detrimental, actually. I think it's a good baby step. But if we stay there and we stay only believing in that surface channeling, we stay very far away. from making actual power inaccessible. Yeah. I think it's important for us to see.
that people are complex and that assertion can exist in a woman that isn't just. Wearing something shiny holding a whip. Yeah. I feel like I covered what I wanted to cover. Shorter episode than I thought. it would be, but I think I got my point across. Yeah. And then we can move into episode three. My final thought on power for now. And it will be about money. So thank you for listening. And speak to you next time.