Your hair looks really well. No. Do you mean that because I'm waiting for? Your hair looks good. Thank you. What is it about it you're like? It's a bit higher and it looks a wee bit sort of she and fire on us. Thank you very much, that's really made me happy. That an American haircut. Yep, I got a cut in EH Austin. And when you went in, what's the difference between getting a cut over there and a cut over here? What's the style? What's the energy like? Well, the barbers English.
Yeah, you're alright. Yeah, let me tell you a little bit. You were just talking about the TV show Adolescence there. Yeah, right. Are we off? No, we're on, We're on. On the pot, yeah, we're off. We're off, We're off the races, we're off to the races. So I don't know what that's what it's about too much, but I know Stephen Graham's in it. Unbelievable. One of the best actors of his generation. Oh, what I do.
There's a kid in it and people are going I, I said the couple of minutes earlier and what's up group? I don't watch sad stuff anymore. See stuff that makes you like. It's unbelievable. This is perfect for you and Dave because you're both parents, so you need to watch it. I'm not a parent because it's about the kid and and it's about the family around what happens. And it's all shot in one court. There's no court. There's no editing. That would suit me so. So basically the cameras are
moving all the time. You've filmed by drawings. It is one of the best film shows I've ever seen in terms of the camera work, the content. I'm not going to give too much away from you, but let me just say I think it's a very important show for the time of the time that we live in now and about young children, male and female, and about what's happening with phones, Right. And it's about parents who I suppose are good parents, but ultimately don't know what the kids looking at. Yeah.
And it's about the impact of what they're looking at then can have going forward into their soccer day-to-day life. I just like see heavy watching heavy stuff. No, but it's important to watch it like but it's like I, I don't have kids, but I remember finished watching it message my brother who's got two young boys and I went what are they doing? It's. An intense message? No. What are they doing? And I said to like, have you watched it?
Was you ever watching? I said, are you watching away your sons? Because you should watch it with your sons of a certain age. I know your kids are really small, but like. But yeah, what is? This. No, but like, I think like, you know, if you've got teenage sons, you should be watching it with them. Yeah. Yeah. It's only 4 episodes, 34 hours. Yeah. And it's Stephen Graham. I discovered him in This is England.
Do you watch This is England? I saw someone had discovered him before I think all them into this. But I came across him in that and he was unbelievable. And he is. He's all this is. England is phenom. One of the greatest shows around. Some of the greatest scenes, yeah, May ever made. Yeah. Dealing with really powerful, more horrible situations. More importantly, what was the text the boy sent each other being like? White T-shirt, open shirt? But he's Navy and black. Yeah.
But this is Friday cash and you're Friday cash. I'm cash today I. Think, he said. Cash. It's Friday cash. I don't know. Friday Cash. I would go round and say to people, listen, I'm Freddie Cash today and then. It's just, it's just, you know what do? You look like a country singer called Friday Cash. No, don't. Friday cash, doesn't he? Yeah, here's Friday Cash. Yeah. Friday cash. You have like a radio Jingle. Friday Cash. And have you ever heard country music?
Do you know what? I I wanna go, I want to go to Nashville because it's country. I know. Yeah, it's early. Aer Lingus are doing flights from Dublin now to Nashville Direct, right? So. No, because Aer Lingus that we got to visit. Apparently it's supposed to be a brilliant place. I've heard it's Griffon, yes, but it is all because he's, there's a reluctant country guy, right? Because he's got in the Yellowstone and he's sort of like Yellowstone will turn you
into your country music guy. No, but he's resistant. Yeah, but you, you'd everything but the stats, unlike you or. That's pretty cat. That's pretty catches, right? Everything but the stats. Is my new country song Friday Cash. I want you. I need you. Oh. Say every country's country song, Every. Country is not a country music artist called. I got Beyoncé conscious of the. Country song. Country music song have something to do with train tracks. Leaving your girl. Yeah. On your way.
Cold beers, Cold beers, watching the sun go down. Yeah, it's all like the same kind of generic. But then again, boy band music is all the same, like. Zippers, let me take a quick 2nd to tell you that we are sponsored by none other than our friend That Price Guy, Ireland's largest price site and it's not even close. How much money David under do you think That Price Guys given away in total? Underground. Andrew. What, a year or month? For overall, much he's given away.
I don't know, 50 mil. 125 mil. Do you know what I enter it? Yeah, Every month me and Judy buy tickets. Well, not. Yep. Well, here's the thing. You could go for the big prizes or you could go for like the smaller price. Instant wins and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, I I buy it more now than I ever done the Lotto. But people and Paul has made more millionaires in Northern Ireland than written saying than the lottery.
I think I'm writing saying that don't let they've just made their 9th millionaire 9th millionaire. Fair play to Madam Nice guy as well, Madam. Oh, on the no, it was him till I'm we're doing. A football match in May at Seaview and there's all candy sponsored by by that Price guy as well. They're taking over. You watch every big UK sporting event at the minute, especially like MMA and boxing.
That Price guy all over it just teamed up with Eddie Hearn for some sponsorship and really killing it. So I think we're going to the the Eubank and Ben fight and that is being sponsored by that price game, that price guy.co.uk. Have a look at everything that's going on there. It's absolutely wild. If you enjoy the Tea with Me podcast and you want to see more patreon.com/tea with Me podcast bonus episode on the Monday live stream and tickets to all of our live events, patreon.com/team Me
podcast. But you might you love it. Now I. Love the Yellowstone but I do not like. I don't like that people here think they're Cowboys. Yeah, like, I mean, people walk. I saw. I laughed in a man's face without even thinking. I was in Mount Stewart, the National Trust, walking with my kids. And a guy walked out of a garden wearing a cowboy hat. And, like, it wasn't as a bit. And he just walked up the steps. They saw. And he's like, what's this guy doing? I'm like.
It's not practical, no, I laughed in a man's face in New York, right? I guarantee the way things work. The guy I'm talking about will either see this or make it sent it. I was leaving a breakfast place in New York on my last day there and a fellow was walking down the street near Times Square and it's only me and him really on the street. There's not that many other people around. And I'm headphones in and I clocked him from like me to your way.
And I burst out laughing because in my head I went, I know for a fact just by looking at him that he's from here. Yeah, he's from home. I was like, there's no doubt in my mind. And then I laughed because I was like, it's not funny that there's a distinctive look. But then I was like, but I bet he's probably like German or something. Isn't from here. But that's funny, the idea they might be from here. As I got closer to him, he went, she and Todd, what's a crack?
And I start talking to him and then I went, I was buzzing. I went, this is mental. I was like, and he goes, what do you mean? And I said, I know you're from home. And the guy goes, he's buzzing. He goes, do you know me or something? And I went, no, I thought when I saw you, I looked at you and I looked at your face and head and I went, he is definitely from here. Like he's from Northern Ireland, just by your face and head. And the guy's like, Oh, yeah. But he. Didn't like it?
They can. Go to an airport, you see, and you know, an Irish person in an airport, you're like that, those guys, yeah. All the time the big spot head like. I was on the Great Wall of China, right? I was walking the Great Wall of China. The. Whole thing. I did the four hour walk. There's two walks you can do the four hour or the 9 hour walk,
right? I did the four hour walk in the Great Wall of China and our tour guide, she was lovely Scandinavian woman and it was about 20 of us and it was she babe. Huh. She babe, I know she was a bit older, like that's right. And you have all babes. Wow, no. But I was only 20 at the time. Have you heard of DM Helen Mirren? Yeah, but I was only 20. Have you heard of MILFS? I heard of Milfs. Yeah, like your wife. Yes. I'll give you that. Hey, hey, double S down. Let's break. Don't want no.
She's a mother I'd like to fuck. My mom, just my mom just tripled down there. She wants a mother, and she. Yeah, fuck. I can't wait for you. Adam. Does anyone have any objections? Yes, this guy. What's the fuck? I'm on the Great Wall of China. Did you say you want to fuck his wife on the Great Wall of China? That sounds like a shit country song too. Just taking her to China.
I want to see your vagina. On the Great Wall of China anyway, I'm on the Great Wall of China and I'm doing the four hour walk right and there was a fella there, a big head in them when I went. He's Irish, so I went up to when I went, all right. Anyway, who's gone? Turned out walk with me brother. Is the is a Great Wall of China? Like, is it one of those things when you actually get there it's not worth it? No. You could just look at it in Google.
It's not a, it's not a great. And it's fault, it's in bad shape. It's not quite a lot of. It it's in bad shape, a lot of Mongolians knocking around trying to sell your stuff. Fever from Mongolia like. OK. Thank you. Well, that's true. They're almost there like, you know, nice people like, but didn't have a lot of cash on me like. What, like what did? What did they look like? No, dude.
Like you'd be walking and like they'd come up and they they hold an umbrella for you if it was raining and at the end of it you've to pay them for holding the umbrella, right. And you're like, no, I'm already got you know, and you give them some money like I'm going 20 like so I didn't know the S kit. I wasn't out of Ireland. That my long. Yeah, apparently like a lot of walls, just not, not in good shape. And I don't, I don't think you cannot see it from space. It's.
Not effective. They have a console. They could, they just feel like, listen, there's a couple of bricks out here in the wall, could you get up and send a couple outside? I. Don't. I don't think it's more of a tourist thing, No, You know, it's just more of one of the isn't it one of the wonders of the world? Yep. Yeah, it was 7 Wonders of the
World isn't. There didn't they built this build at the stop the Huns getting them That's what it was for under the the Han people, the Mongolians nons yeah trying to get into China to get. Into Genghis Khan. Yeah, what are the other wonders of the world? Taj Mahal. Yep. The Babylon Go Hanging Park Gardens of Babylon is that one. What's that place in it in Cat? The pyramids and the place in America, you know, the cliffs where the water goes off. Niagara Falls, Niagara. Falls.
Isn't that a wonder in the? World. I think it's a natural wonder of the world though. It's always like man made a natural wonder. Pyramids anyway, like Jesus. Yeah, Machu Picchu, Christ the Redeemer. There's seven of them, isn't? That Taj Mahal. Yeah, seven of the. World Great Wall of China. Who's the 8th wonder I've? Done one, I've done one of the seven. Andre the Giant, mate, So he's a bill. Henry, me and the Me and the Ever.
We have a date on Saturday night, me and my pal Dave Elliott are going out and Saturday night couple of boys go on their show. What you gonna say? Don't judge wrestling where SSE. Couple of So it's this American wrestling, yeah. World Wrestling or WWE? Yeah, OK. Yeah, did you ever watch Wrestling Grown? Up Random and Randall Savage. Round the man round. Ultimate warrior? Yeah. The Undertaker. Yeah, a Chico. Remember he had the chains and they had the to pick over his ear.
That's Razor Ramon. Razor Ramon used to do all that. Then you had own heart. Brett Hart. All Brett eh own died. Yes, he fell off the top of the. Building and then Brett Hart. I remember Brett doing WrestleMania 13 or so. By the way, sorry, can I just point out Own Heart died during an actual wrestling event when he's supposed to come down like he was supposed to like come down a wire from the roof, but the wires didn't work. We just like fell down to the ring and died.
Hey continued the event. They just like scraped them up and just moved on with this and all the other wrestlers knew he was dead. Undertaker was like good friend is and fought next, didn't he? Yeah. And then you can just see in his face the Undertaker was like just sad. Because I think that it was. Was it the Godfather or Jeff Jarrett the went to and like he was like sad and like, Oh yeah, really sorry about no one. But then he had to get into character.
But you, you're going to get it. Yeah, yeah. Jeff Jarrett promo straight after. Like yeah. What about them? Do you know when I used to have the Royal Rumble? Oh. Yeah. When they all start in the ring, yeah, if you go over the rope shirt, you're. Done. I love that. Royal Rumble was my favourite one, yeah, but when I found out it was fake I lost interest. It's one when I found out it was fake, like a lost interest. Nothing. Sports Entertainment.
They're not hitting each other. Well, it's real. There was a thing happened this week that was stinking. I saw on last night, Willie showed at the man, the libraries and there's a guy took a bump on a like he hits like a he lands and was on a baseball bat with Neil's on it. And it was, he got suplexed on it and it was right in his back and they couldn't take it out and like this, it was absolutely horrendous. WWE. AE W Yeah, so it was pretty stinking.
If you check it out on Twitter, type John Moxon. It's your dad, thought the undertaker from them. Nearly. Yeah. Remind me that. These dad thought the Undertaker, Neil Strahol. So my dad is one of the most well meaning guys you'll meet. He always has good intentions and tries to do nice things first, but sometimes you'll fuck it a bit like he took me to see. Just so sorry. Just tell him in a sentence. I know we talked about recently. Just tell him about the museum, right?
So just in a sentence. My mom and dad and a couple of their gay friends went to Iceland for holidays. They'd all itinerary planned out much like yourself, but one day was blank. My dad says I'll get the activity sorted. I'll get us something to do. And my mum's like it's very out of character but lovely. Go ahead. And he goes no bothers. You know, the boys are coming to and he was like, don't worry and cater for them too. I'm almost really it's really
nice of them. So the next day comes transport gets them, takes them to the event that my dad has booked a penis museum. He's like, I know these lots of love that I take echo and then my mom quite rightly point out, say, I think they're just more interested in like human penises. I don't think it's just. I think that's what makes you gay. General penis. Yeah, but he was like Anthony Ferdinand. A good day, that a good. Party taken to. Mark called Lecock.
He just, he just typed. He must have just typed Gay Iceland. I'm gone. There's something else. But they're not so offensive. But he didn't mean to be. Oh no, But the boys loved it. Yeah, they had a good time, but it came from a place of jet like, yeah, there was no malice to it. It was him thinking, you know, an old dabbing like a SO.
Your dad for the Undertaker. So my dad had bought me tickets to see All American Wrestling in the Ulster Hall and when he showed me the poster it said All American Wrestling and had pictures of the Undertaker, Kane, Stone Cold Steve, Austin. Don't call. What are we talking here in 1990? 8 No, I was, I was pretty. I must have been maybe 9697. I must have been about 9 or 10, right, Right. And I was buzzing about it like, like, this is my because I'd not been the proper event like that
before. And I got there, we're going to see them. So we get the door of the Ulster Hall and as we're walking in, like the doorman stops my dad and he's like here, I mean, do you want to sit ringside with your kid? And he was like, ah, yeah, sure. He goes. Only thing is we're kind of down a few men if you would jump in and do we? And like what it was I can you just like we'll just come in and
pretend to be a security. And he was like, no. And he goes, Oh well can you do the door then I'll jump in instead. And he's like, yeah. And he goes, we'll refund your tickets and your son can sit in the front row. And my dad was like, alright. And he sent me the front front row by myself. And I'm like, this is cool because he's gonna, I get to go backstage and meet the Undertaker and Cane. And the first thing that Cane's music comes on and then red
lights are everywhere. And I was like, oh, no, it's Cane. And it was a dude, probably your physique in a Cane costume with a black Afro. And I said, fuck, isn't Cane. And every other dude was just a dude, probably from a local estate, wearing cosplay of the yeah, yeah, the Undertake. And that was the thing. That guy wasn't rolling his eyes. He was just crossing. Them. And it was just like, this is shit. And it was the worst standard of entertainment ever. Rest in peace mate. So it's.
Just fake. Oh, it was just lads on a policy of money grabber, fucking tax dollars or something, because yes, Oh my God, I got the to do the door and I got, I did. To be fair, I did get to meet them, but I fucking eat them. Yeah, you're not. Fucking we have fun at WWE. Probably, yeah. Yeah, It might be a wee bit weird, you know, It might be a little bit. I got invited last year and I didn't go and then I regret it, so I'm looking forward. To this, I hope it's good.
Hope it's good, yeah. Are we going to make? Cody wrote. I don't know. Is that what you want to do? Yeah, we could do it. I've got to see Paul Hughes. Yeah, I'm gonna SSC in April. Yeah, I think it's in April, Yeah. Putting on me, Cody wrote. You, you Big Fight founder. Well, I'm in the I'm in. I went to cage fighting there up in north Belfast. Run by the same guys around the and. I was, Aaron was commentating. So I went up and fuck. Brilliant like. Brutal. Brutal man, I love that.
Because if you go like UFC or something, you know, you could obviously be quite far away. But if you go to like small events like that, yeah, you hear every punch. Oh, feel every kick. It's mad and of the. As Andrew rang got a trips coming up. Have you been on any trips? I'll. Finish the tour now. So I'm done going to Italy with the family like, but I'm not doing any comedy. Going to a campsite outside Rome.
There's eighteen of us. One of the best trips I had when I was about 15 or 16, we went camping somewhere inside the France. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So all my brothers and sister. We're talking we mobile homes. Yeah, me and Julie got A2 bed mobile home and we're going to go for a week with the family and then we're spending three days ourselves. And why 2 beds? 2:00 rooms like no, there's two rooms with kids are going to be count. Some kids are going to be staying with us right.
It's all all put together like right, right. So we're so it'll be great like. Davy, what's the next holiday you're doing? I'm going to Portugal in in June, end of June. Why are you saying like that? Because I just in my head pictured when the kids are in the mobile home with you, you just force them to watch adolescence. If you need to see this, it's going to fucking change your life. We go down to the beach, notice 4 episodes there.
That's a really bad impression. You can't do my accent at all. It's hard. It is different. It is difficult. Can you do Chris Kent? Yeah, but not his accent. Much bigger than him. Yeah, I could do Chris, boy. Yeah, I could do Chris. Yeah. Did you hear him a little? Bit more deeper, isn't he? Yeah, he's a little more deeper. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, zippers, let me take a quick 2nd to tell you we're sponsored by none of the Nord
VPN. Before I started to record this and Dan said we're doing Nord VPN, read One of my guest, Andrew Ryan looked at me without blinking and said to me, I use that. I use Nord VP. Andrew, what do you use Nord VPN for? So I can watch RTE because I changed my location? Yeah, I also use it to watch American Premier League matches on Pretend I'm in America, right? Because obviously it's a 3:00 PM blackout here. So I'm all above. I'm all aboard the Nord VPN
train. All Aboard, All Above and Choo choonordvpn.com is is in a more. If you have Nord VPN account you can use it on up to 10 devices. When I was on my tour of America there I don't mind telling you that I was watching BBC iPlayer and ITV Player. Are you watch ITV Player to watch the Carboy Cup final on a train from Philly to New York N VPN blip blip blip. I'm watching it very fast and
efficient. Fast and efficient the way we like it. To get the best discount of your N VPN plan go to nvpn.com site team me. Look in the link below, all the info is there. No, it's I'm going to to Rome and then no other trips now. I did some gigs in Europe and finished the tour in Strabane. Two nights in Strabane was amazing. Film. Film Ball nights couldn't have gone any better. Oh yeah. Like to the point where Fast he filmed it and like he just went.
Probably don't even have to do much with that. It was so good. Like it was just so good. I'd make him do stuff. No, but like in terms of lightning, he just said it was one of the finest hours of standard we've ever seen in this life. You know what I I've actually like? Maybe fuck myself in a way because I filmed the special before I went to America in wheel theatre and workload. Oh yeah, the way. Yeah.
And they're all sorted. And then when I did, obviously the longer you do the show, the better it gets. Yes, the thing it. Gets tighter.
Done that and like you're adding in bits and you drop bits all together because you don't have time because this bit earlier in the set gets longer and you're more punch lines in it so I did some of the shows in America, the clubs, they film it for you you're just after the show they're like you want your footage and that's normally just like a master shot. Zeni's in Chicago, 4 cameras set up I'm talking about 160 people sold out low roof packed in comedy club for four angles.
So I'm going, I might just that might just be. What I release and also great that you've, you know, you've specials in Belfast, specials in America, Yeah. Unbelievable. So I don't know what I'll do, but I need to watch our footage. Yeah, that's great, man. Because it gets like as it goes on. You just feel like this is better already. Yeah, you feel enjoy one in Bangor. Yeah, I need to watch that. I see it myself. Can't watch yourself back. Yeah, I'm just sorry.
Yeah, it's hard watching how I look. I hate how I look. I hate how I look at the moment, so I'm kind of. You look amazing. No, I don't feel. I don't. I don't. Know what's wrong? You just. Write an ingrown toner your. Feet out, huh? Don't have your feet out. No, I. Was limping for a long time and then see I Did you get ingrown toner as well? No, just ligaments in my gormer. My ligaments and then ingrown toner then then I got the toenail removed and got
infected. I'm only I'm only back to myself last couple of weeks. I don't know if you are back to yourself. I know I could have done your nails for you, I'm pretty good at that. Yeah, but I was out of the gym for about four weeks, you see, and I got a bit frustrated and. When you lose that routine, it's. After routine man. Because I we're both orthopaedic, guess me and him. Bone man insults Oh. So we have the insults changed my life. Unbelievable.
Did you get back pain for the first day? No, not really because I said do for an hour, next day do 2 hours because. What happens is your your wires, your back realign based on the impact of the ground. So sometimes you can get a bit of back pain. Well, you're not your wires. I call it the wires, but it's like nerves. Nerves. Like and. So what does it do? Well, you get your feet analysed. Right. And you see what way you're
walking. And I was like, I'm walking pretty OK. And then Phil, who was doing my analysis, slowed it all down. And he's like, look at your right foot. And as it hits the ground, so this foot hits the ground just normal like this. This foot hits the ground. Yeah, yeah. So I need stabilisation, yeah, I need my arches raised because at the minute my arches are quite flat, yeah. So I need them raised up like this. Another raised up. Yeah, my right leg is longer
than me left right. So every time I hit the ground, I would. So my feet are like this. My natural stance is my right foot faces out, faces 2:00. So when I hit the ground, it's obviously. So would you say you're more right and. Yeah, in what you mean. Like with your foot? Yeah. So I would tend to you lean to the right, I lean to the right, you see. You'd be obviously fucking amazing, the free kick so. Yeah, but like once you get all that stuff, how long have?
You learned to the right for. I've had insults. No, I'm centre left. Shit, you know I'm centre left. You know, my politics is central left. If you look like a guy who politics have always been right, but no, you're so left. Yeah, no, you know what I mean? I know politics makes me size. Yeah, what's? It like in America, huh? You know, with Trump and all that, what was the vibe? That I wasn't really talking to people about it, but. I'd be more shocked if you went
over and asked the way politics. Yeah, yeah, You know, I was just trying to get like a bit of a town. Umm, but I mean, I don't know, like, I, I went to Mexico. Me and Sean, I agree. Went to Mexico, trying to get lunch, couldn't find anyone. Came back. True story. What? We were in San Diego, me and Sean, and Tijuana is not that far away at all, the border crossing. So we just got a train down to the border and went to Mexico and they tell you when you arrive don't walk anywhere just
like get a cab. But then we didn't have pay off so we just walked. I was like, Sean, we'll be fine. And then I. Yeah, your knowledge. I got the Mexican borders. I got the map, Dave. I got the map wrong, right. And I ended up taking us, ended up taking us further into like the backstreets of Tijuana. And we look touristy as fuck, obviously. And then I was like, I'll get us an Uber. And then I swear to God, I don't know if the guy's car had an engine, but I saw a vehicle arrived anyway.
And the guy took us into the middle of Tijuana. You need to go with a local who knows the lay of the land. We didn't know where we're going, what we're doing, couldn't see any restaurants that were like the look of. And then I was like, let me Google like nice air, like good neighbourhood and stuff. And I did and got us an Uber to that place. And it was worse than the place we're in before. So then we just went back to the border. I had to wait 2 hours to cross Sincere. No dinner.
You see, I mean, that is the most you thing I've ever heard, I think. Yeah, you see the wall like you see the ball and it's a wall in the sea. So it's like on the beach. And then it goes into the water by about looks like about 15 feet. And you look at it and you're like, people could just swim around that because of the current and the way it is, you actually can't. But it's mad. People play on the beach on both sides and like you can see
through it, obviously. And then I definitely had that thing where we were on the tree and back and I was looking at that wall and I was like, terrible. Is it the wall Trump build? No, I was always there. But I was always there. I thought, yeah. I was like, it's terrible that this is divided in 2025. Like where does that? And then I remember like we did. But also it's two different countries, so that's why
there's. That's true, and our wall has a door in it. Yeah, and it's in Belfast, you know, I mean, it's like, yeah, different peace walls, Yeah. Yeah, Amazon deliveries at that wall door in Belfast. Yeah. Yeah, but but it was the poverty was mad like when you are sounding you pretty like affluent, like a nice city, most of it and then you cross in the Mexico and it's like instant, it's not like you see straight away the difference in the culture and the lives.
It's mad no one speaks English. You assume because you're entitled or whatever that everywhere is going to speak English to help us out. Those boys are not interested at all. It was not wow. It was clearly go and say we went but it was mad and the security like getting in to Mexico, no issue coming back into America. Wild big lines. Were you questioned and stuff? No. Well, yeah, the guys like, I suppose. Yeah, the guys like, what are you doing here?
That's actually what they don't want. Get in America. What lines? Drugs. Are drugs drugs? Yeah. But you had a good trip. Yeah, it was brilliant. Best trip so far. Best America trip so far down? But he said he did. You do. But 10 or some? Good hotels. Austin, TX. Yeah. Mothership. Did you do a set there? A solo. I did miss solo show Creek in The Cave and then I did three nights Mothership Spot. Was Joe Rogan there? No, no, why you said that like you have beef for them.
You like, you see him, you tell him as. I would not be for them. I don't know. I tell people he's my Irish and. She's more into Elka anyway than beef, isn't he? Yeah. Was the buttership good? It's fucking incredible. It's the best comedy club in the world, really. Yeah, ceiling. It's purpose built. Every inch of it is purpose built by him and by comedians. So like you go in and it's just the staff, like everybody just is, everybody's just on board. It is incredible.
You looked after really well, yeah. Yeah, What do you get in the green room? Do you eat Beat? That's a Tucker. Whatever you want, big fridge with whatever you want then. What was in the fridge And you're there. I got a couple of cons of that cool, but I was like, I was looking. I didn't want to like be too much in the green room and stuff. What would you get a newbie green room if you'd your choice. Just water. I wouldn't be the one demand.
Well, I thought I was telling you that when I was doing Shredded, the Culligan's podcast, the MLS podcast that day when I was in New York. Is it like hooligans and cool next? Yep. Like that, they had a role with football tops and they let me take this Nashville top and loads other tops. Have you ever been in a situation where somebody was like, take whatever you want there? Yeah, what was it? Golf Warehouse, Oh, just a close, close. Yeah, but what what was?
Because I love this, right. So were they like take whatever you want or was there a specific section where it's like take a couple of? Whatever you want, but I felt really guilty after like 3 or 4 items. I took like 6 tops and I was like. This is too much. But they were like, bad. They were like they'll go to waste. They were like, they don't fit us. Take whatever you want. But I took like 6, but I should take 20. So what?
What all did you take? I just took tops, golf tops, trousers, hoodies, anything that I could fit like and I was like a long of a God. Yeah, they were like as long as you want. I said, right, where is this place? Eh, It was in down South, right? There were a friend of a friend. Anyway, I just went, yeah, I felt really guilty. I probably took about four or £500 worth stuff. I used that stuff that I gave that those presents. Did you have to help them?
For people like they'd be like, I got this from here, you're associated with it. Were you promoting the board? Stuff that wasn't selling, and they were. If you ever got a free. Ransom. No, because I'd have to be like Jacamo if I would go to or like super big and mighty or something. Yeah. And those guys, no offence, aren't fashionable. Yeah, so you know who would be? It'd be work. I really want to do America. Would you want to do America? I mean, it depends what you mean
by dirt. Like go over and do shores get a visa and I'm trying to figure out a way to get a visa at the moment. Why don't you just get a turn and immigration turning into the normal way? No to perform. Yeah. You get the performers visa, don't. Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to get that at the moment. Right. Are you working with someone on? A I've started a process right? I've had two conversations. Because you right, hold on free like this.
You were like, I'm trying to figure out a way to get it and like, yeah, but there. Is no, I've spoken to my agent and my agents like, right, OK, we know somebody. But he said. Because even Irish passport, you might have to go through somebody else in the Republic of Ireland. I know you get all that. I know I'm not, so you don't. I know, but you don't because I have an Irish passport but I use the. British marriage. No, I use marriage passport.
I have a British passport. OK, I need to figure this out. I need to really do this because I really want to. I really want. I pissed off MAGA on Facebook, right? I put up a clip and what? Was it? What was the gist of the clip? Oh, where are you from? United States. Sorry, I couldn't hear you there because of the tariffs, right? And then I made a couple of jokes and then it got like three
or four, 3 million views. And then I've had to hold a MAGA come after me, which has been brilliant crack. And so I'm thinking, I'm really popular in Chicago now, right? So my gosh, Chicago. It sounds like they want to you there to kill you though. Yeah, but you're a good story. Everyone telling me if they ever see me in Chicago on the wall about it, let's get it. Let's get a show book. But you should definitely like, yeah, so. But Davis. Davis played America.
Before, yeah, I like it. It's always good time, always fun, but I just don't think it's not something like I want I have to do. It I want to do it, I'm like, hungry for it now, yeah. You should. I'm just hungry. Rally for. Long You know what? In the next two years, I want to conquer Europe in America. All right out of Jesus. I. Start with Poland.
I want to start, I want to, I did a couple more gigs in Europe there, man, and like did Barcelona with you and stuff and I just went, this is, this is where it is now. Yeah. I want to start doing the. I want to start jumping on planes like I'm going over to these places. Well, if you're looking to this button bit of past. Yeah, so I want to America, Canada, Europe and Australia. I've been invited to Australia, but it's not really worked out. Time is wise.
So, you know, I'm going global. Yeah, I'm going global. But definitely like it's the it's. The way forward in it, Yeah. Aaron Botter is going to Dubai to do a lot of gigs in next week. He's gone over to do the laughter factories doing 1010 nights. He rang me. He goes. What are they like? He's doing 10 nights. Ten nights, 7 gigs and 10 nights or something. 6 gigs. Did you with this? Yeah. Very excited to get the laughter factor. 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've done him lots of times and he's rang me about it. We played a picketball today, yes, and he was telling me about it and I've been playing paddle and stuff. You know what? Is that like a pickleball? Is that Picketball somewhere? Is that a different game? What you said you were playing picketball with them and I was like, is that like pickleball or is it a different gamers? I don't know. These are new games. Picketball. All right. I've only heard of pickleball. That's.
The pickleball, Yeah, it's a picket. Not Picket. No, I don't fucking. Know. Like I can just be. What's the difference? What benefit does that now have? Picketball, something you play if you're you're part of a union, you all stand there and you. Oh, right. OK. You're a scammer if you if you break, yeah. Sorry you were playing. Why are? You, I just don't know. I just thought it was something else. You. Butler, made-up your own. No, we went to the Falls Rd gym.
We played picketball in the Falls Rd. I imagine you played pickleball. Falls Leisure centre Andrew. Yeah, gym and played picketball. Like my mom just gets more. It's just a game. Sorry so. We were playing that game anyway. Yeah. And then he was telling me he's going to buy and I've done the trip, so I was giving him some tips. Yes, I know the hotels he stay in. Good hotels. You have good hotels. Yeah, good. Important. You're in my hotel. No, in America. Oh, you're good hotels.
Mixed bag. OK, Mixed bag. No. Something I need to get your help on is this. By the way, who won the pickleball? Aaron, he's brilliant. Is he? Yeah, he's great. So me, me and Aaron played a game. Then Connor, Brendan from Q joined us. And then I played Connor. I'd be Connor. And in two. Makes to the box. Yeah, it makes over the box. And then me and Connor took on Aaron on his own and he'd be both of us together. We were double S and he was single. And he long after the pickleball.
You'd love us, You'd love you. Play a battle. No. Hold on is great. Could beat off the three of you. I'm not falling for that. Yeah, come on. I've not played paddle ball, but I have been hit with a paddle. Andrew. My wife that you want to fuck? I was on. My can you not get over that I? How aggressive is being like, can you not just get over that? I want to fuck you, Get over it. So. Judy's got to kill me, you know. I've been your sleep will be right.
So I was flying home on Monday, right? I did a podcast at 2:00 on Monday. Is that? The one where you had the T-shirt down with the no divested? No. Oh yeah, that was about. That was that was a choice, yeah. Talk about it. Let's talk. Shame. Should I watch that? But that's not the shame, you know, right? Tell you the background of this. I was doing the Creek in the Kiev from Solution in Austin. Colton, who works there, doing a lot of tech and stuff goes. Would you want to do a podcast
tomorrow when you're in Austin? I said I would love that, he said. It's kind of a gay podcast. I said I don't know what that means, but I'll be there if you give me a time do. They do gay stuff on it like. This is the thing now, I watched some of the clips when he asked me and then later on when I before I was leaving he's they're always wearing vests on and a lot of the guests are wearing vests. All right, OK. Because it's, you know, it's a gay pod.
It's very hot there. So I said I'll be there tomorrow. Not only will I be there tomorrow, but I have a vest that I'm going to wear, so it's like 30° as well, so it makes sense. Yeah. But then by the time I left, it was cold. Yeah. I'd get a Lime scooter back to hotel. It was cold. But then it wasn't really a vest. It was a sleeves T-shirt sleeves. A vest would have been more. It was a sports fest. It was waiting. It was it was weird. It just didn't. It wasn't you.
I did comment on it, yeah. What did you say? Very own brand. I'll see. Ironically, I'd say it's not. That was the point. So you're an old married couple? We love each other. We do love each other. It's. Organising my stag SO. So my. So he's getting strippers and the strippers of a below average height. That's not happening. Let me say my brother in He's coming. Yeah, when he's when he sees the little strippers. Yeah, they did grind on him. He.
Can't see that he's 52. So we'll talk about your stag in a SEC. So my flight was at 6:00 PM from New York to Dublin. At 2:00 I was leaving a podcast studio to go to the airport. Your flight's been cancelled, airlines. You've no luck. But they put you on an alternative flight, the Heathrow. That's. No use to me, that's no use to me. So I booked. I went Skyscanner and there was a flight going from a different airport in New York to Dublin
for around the same time. So I just paid that booked up and I'm hoping to use the compensation to offset the fee I paid. Do you think I'll be all right? Said I might get up to £600, Andrew. And you don't. You don't really have what you're looking at. If you watch a John Wick watch. I bought this in Dubai, remember? About that Dubai. It says John Wick on it. Who's John Wick? Who's John Wick? Who's John Wick? Is that a mood?
Yeah, Kelly Reeves is John Wick. John likes like a real like is it got a secret age and he's like an assassin. It's a franchise of movies, like it doesn't say John. It says John, John Wick, you bought it with me. You, I said you want to check it out and you picked up and you went, yeah, that's a good one. He's assassin. I can out of 10. He hasn't seen the movies. People are like, oh, what's your favourite movie? One of the John Wick movies? I don't know. You weren't a watch. So.
That's just really. I thought John Wick was a watch brand. I thought it was like the wiki watches or something, I don't know when. Oh yeah, I've got a Rolex. What? I mean, I've got to work. That's really sweet. You should get the money back. Yeah, OK. Follow the procedure on air Lingus stuff. You've done it. You've got. What do I book through a third party? They said. The third party's got to sort it. Oh, man, I don't know. I don't know about that. Just followed the process.
You'd be OK. You'll get it. It's 28 days and. Trust the process. Andrew Einsteig, the valid. Yes, she thought, it's. Gonna be good. It's gonna be let. It's gonna be good fun. It's gonna be good time. Few people question and Cork is the destination. Why? Sam? I'm sent Perfect. Why? Because. They're like buddy from there and I'm like nobody don't live there, so it's perfect. I have I only got that. Often I know I is perfect. And you'll not be back. I'm delighted with Corkers.
I'll tell you why we're doing cork #1 it'd be nice for you guys to come down, you know, and have a proper time in my tone. Secondly, I have a lot of people in the group that can't go abroad because. Criminals. No, because they're children, the costs. And I just thought, you know what, that's fine. I get it. And secondly, you have the option of doing one night or two or both. And I think it gives people a little bit of that. One night or two or board. The option, yeah, You know what
I mean? Yeah. And I just thought, you know what? I get to graduate. The guys in Cork, I'm also doing a second stag as well. I'm also doing like a night here, like a little night here maybe in August. What? Just a little home 1 here. Like, you know, like say look, that's fine, come out for a bit. Dinner and a couple of pints on a Friday. Yeah, maybe six or seven of us, right? Just something nice and soft, you know what I mean? So cork, cork stacks going to be hard, yeah.
Of course, will be hard no? So I thought it would be really nice and there's lots of pups and cork that I've not been to and I want to do a topic. We know we're dressed now. It's not John Wick. And the two. If I got dressed off. We don't know. You're meeting Aaron for coffee next week. Yeah. Well, no, because he's going to Dubai and I so have to reschedule that. Or I think it's the week after next is going something. We'll put together. Yeah, yeah.
Butler going to do by himself for a week in the but. A street comics going. Oh yeah, he's going to. Two from England, really. Yeah, It's it's, it's a tour like right. So I've done this. I'm. Delighted he's doing this. Yeah, he's going with. I actually don't know. I don't know, he said. He hasn't got the names of the other comedians yet. But I've done the trip a few times. It's flights, lovely hotels, breakfast, lunch and dinner all covered.
And you get paid as well and you get a couple of free days to yourself and the crew who run it, Ken, who's the one of the production guys, you just pick you up and drive your own anywhere you want to go and do it. But it's what? It's a holiday like it is a holiday, You know what I mean? I heard, I think he said to me, I don't know if there's Jim Davidson, Chubby Brown. You think they'd have no issues doing a show in the Middle East? Yeah. But yeah, I'm looking forward to
the stag. It should be a bit of crackers. And have you ever worked with like Chubby Brown or Bernard Manning or anything when you were in England? No, I stood next to Jim Davidson in a bar in Edinburgh, right. And he had one of these pinstripe suits on, you know, he loves a little like, yeah, really thing hanging out of his pocket handkerchief. And he had an air of like, I don't know, it's. Legend. Like what I grew when I was a kid, right?
And I don't know if you guys did this, but when I was kid I used to watch a break, big break right now. Obviously this was before I knew anything about John Virgo and him. I used to. It was really funny, like. I used to know when John Virgo would be like, can I have a rest? And Jim be like, you restarted. I would cry, laugh. Every time. And then obviously, you know, things just kind of like changed and stuff. So, but no, like I mean, I've never met any of those guys.
The gym change or did the world change? But the world is always changing. You've got to change whether you're going to be left by. You're right. That's the way to work because obviously where we do like stories and Icdotes and stuff and we should try be able to throw away one liner and every night again change it up. Now. What do you call an artist with smelly fingers? Picasso. Here's one. Here's one. My girlfriend's dog died. So yeah, fuck it, I'm sorry. I'll try to get your back for
for. And my girlfriend's dog died, so I got another dog exactly the same. What's she going to do with two dead dogs? Yeah, that's Gary Delaney. Yeah, he's a brilliant one liner. Yeah, it must have been one of his. Best can I tell you I I've written A1 liner. What I've written A1 liner. They're very hard, man. That's right. Well. This one wasn't. I just went right back into my family tree. They got covered in SAP. SAP Yeah.
What's up? The stuff in the tree like oh wood Nah SAP is in the wood like. All right, I had to write some some jokes for a child friendly radio podcast. Those down daddy what's podcast? BBC Science. And one of them was where does where does the doggy keep his Christmas decorations in the worst space? Did you write that? That's really good. My friends my friends call Liam his nickname is 2 legs Liam. We only call him two legs Liam because only got 1 arm. This.
There's silence. There's silence. This lady hooks up with a man and she's, she's really like paranoid because she's got like, she's got a very specious vagina, right? So she's really like that. Start again there. You really threw me. With but hook up with a guy, which is paranoid, right? So what she does is she knows you're going to have sex at night. So she goes to a Bitcher, she gets a little liver, she packs it out. So she hooks up with this guy into very paranoid about it.
And the next morning he's left, but he's left her a note and he says, just want to thank you for an amazing night. He's like, that was absolutely incredible. He's like, I actually want to work now, but I'm just counting down the time until I can see you again. He's like, like, that blew my mind. That was absolutely unbelievable. And I would love to see you again. PS You're constantly sinking. Well, that's stinking. The dot that is from Curb enthusiasm.
Marty Funkoser tells the Jerry Seinfeld great team YouTube that so Andrew neither the tourist on what are you? What are you going to do? I'm back playing loads of golf again, doing the radio could. You play who? Your golf friends. I can't play me on. A golf boy. Played with Tony. Yeah. A friend of mine, Johnny and Chris, but I mostly play my own I don't really have. The headphones in or anything? Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes I just like the smell of the fresh cut grass, you
know, and. Smell and listen at the same time. No, no, I like to. You really can't listen to music you're playing. Golf can't listen to you could you could focus on. No, I play on my own a lot because I played odd hours. Like, you know, most people are in work, you know what I mean? So like, you know, I might get on. I'm played Monday now. Like I'll be on the course of 12. Like who's free at 12 and a Monday? How long does it take you to go
around? If I'm on my own, about 3-3 hours, 3 1/2 hours, just a 2 ball or three ball could be. You talk to yourself when you're playing golf. You're by yourself. Like if you had a great shot, will you be like, oh great. No, no, no, no. But what I do is like, I do kind of talk to myself when I'm setting up. What do you say? You know, like, you know, straight takeaway, you know, like make sure you're taking the club back straight, you know, make sure you're transferring your way and.
You're saying this out loud? Turn on your hips, Yeah, you kind of reinforces what you've got to do and stuff. And then if I'm chipping off the green and I'm like, OK, if I'm hit low, chip the balls at the back right foot. So where's my weight on the feet and all that kind? Of stuff, thank God. Yeah, no, but I don't know. But I think if you'd say it out loud, you you can read foot. As you say it out loud in your head and you're still here. You know, it's the way I play Shane.
It's actually. Almost the things you've ever said. Accurate. Yeah, like you said it loud in your head. You still get it. Yeah. You know, like I sometimes think things in my head, but if I say it, I'm. Going to say something here, right? I said something in my head and I heard. It, yeah, but that I had no impact. But if I'm playing golf by myself? I mean. Yeah, but I think if you say it out loud and you hear yourself. So you say it out loud in your head and you hear it.
Well. That's true, yeah. I think it's I, I, that's how I do it. Yeah. Yeah, I'd only do it if I'm on my own. I've got right, Andrew. But if you had a really good shot, would you be like, Oh, well done? You know, he's like, you're like Kevin McAllister from Home Alone. He would do that, too. Like if the burglars are coming, he was like, here they are. Don't mess this up now and then. Yeah, that, you know? So you felt like that.
Yeah. But say for example, yeah, OK, OK, let's say for example, if I'm chipping on to a green and I want to get it up and down, right. So I want to get chip on one pot. I like, you know, you're Saturday with a 56° wage and I'm going right up and down. Now, Andrew, come on up and down. If someone is in the bushes looking for their ball and they just hear you go, but I wouldn't do it down Andrew, Up and down. They'll be like to me. I just. Kind of say to.
Himself and you call yourself and really. You know, it's just a way of doing it. Like it's just a rhythm. Like you get into a rhythm of stuff and sometimes you stand up on a tee box, you're going to write, OK, here we go. Down the centre in a fairway, trouble on the left, trouble on the right. Come on, Andrew, down the centre, down the centre. You just kind of reinforce things, you know what I mean? Every golfer doesn't matter when you play football, when you play
football. Never talk myself on the pitch ever. But Dave talks himself in the gym. So, but he didn't know this. So Dave, if he was like really going forward in the bench press, he put the headphones in even if you're going to let me get the headphones in. And then he would talk to himself. But he like like slabbers on himself, but he didn't know he was doing it out loud. And no, they go and he used to go. He would like get on there and he will war.
And he did get himself cheat up for the next Rep. People go. He used to say to himself, oh, come on, soccer. And then he would go for it. But he kept like calling himself like sly names. He'd be like, let's go, Dave, you bastard. And he was like saying all this to himself and Edinburgh. Because that's what goes on in my head all the time. That's literally the exact same thing. Yeah, it's quite common. Like, yeah, all golfers would
know that would. Know would know that they ever do something and then you get someone hears it and takes piss on you. I was watching football highlights on my computer and my headphones and I don't know, Catherine was behind me and I'm at 4. I want to touch. And then she was like, oh, what a touch. Shut up. Yeah, Judy does that a few times, that if I'm watching football or Man United, you come down while I go, we're still shit. And she'd be like, oh, will it
ever get good again? And I'm like, no. And then we just be very good about it. Clubs behind her curtain there. Also it's funny how Andrew is over mentioning Julie now because he's declared his love. Yes, so he's like, oh, Julie my. Beautiful and declared my love for Catherine. Oh, you don't want you no love involved? Catches a wonderful. Physical. Actually, Catherine is a wonderful woman. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you made that. Clear. She's a wonderful woman and she's bringing up two great
kids. Yeah. With help. You know, like, it's like, well, I think my wedding we're going to put up aside. Welcome to Judy's wedding, also featuring Andrew. You know, the support. I'm like the support for the day. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what we're doing under? No, we're doing a Patreon exclusive event in the Black Box on the 13th of April. Have you seen Kill Tony? Yes, we they have a panel and somebody stands up and have to do what a minute a stand up is. It and then they interview them
and stuff. People. Most people have never done stand up. We're doing it in the black box. Wow. Panel is going to be me, Dave Elliott and William Thompson. OK. 3 white man. Some friends of ours are coming on to do one minute sets. Brand new one minute sets. Non comedians, no comedians they are. Comedians and then there will be loads of people that we don't know that are doing stand up for maybe the first time. And it's from the patron, is it? Yeah. Oh wow, something up in stage do.
You know what? I'd love to come and watch that. I'd love to come and watch that. Yeah. That'd be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you gonna be fun? I've seen the format. It's Tony Hinch. Cliff, is it? Yeah, Yeah, I've seen it. I'll be honest with you. I Do you like it? Do you like to? Do you like how to do it? I do like it. I've got a mixed I'm going. To be it'll be fun that the mix I'm. Kind of mixed about it, I think. I think it can be really funny, but I also think it can be a
bit. Mean. Well, we're not going to, but we're not going to be inside of. Yourself as my Simon Carmel. Are you going to be the bitch? Yeah. He's really going to be Louis. Louis. Spence and CK and. Love your shit, darling. Lee Walsh. Yeah, do. You know why we went to see Louis Spence? I was in Cheshire, recently visited my friend I. Think he actually went this house? Yeah. He was doing panto and Oh no, he wasn't antwitch. Louis Spence was doing panto and it was the worst.
I went to my friend. I'm godfather to the daughter. So we all had a day out and we just went to a musical. And how many people are each other? Maybe people in the crowd, Yeah. Oh, 200. Right. And Louis spent the main guy, no? He just appears every so often and then. Is he funny? He's all right. Remember the guy that won Britain's Got Talent because he was a dancer? The one of the George. George. He was the lead. You spending his head. Yeah. And then it.
Went bald and said that's why he went bald. Genuinely. Yeah, and then George Samson, the girl who was the lead, she'd won. Britain's Got Talent. She won Britain's Got Talent with her dog. Oh, the Navy dog, the. Dog died and she was like did it and we went to see it and. You don't want to see her with the dog like. Well, it'd be funny if Louise Spence was playing the dog. Yeah, I would have. But it was it was Get me to craft Charlie. It was, it was crazy.
It was lifted. His leg really high. Like it was absolutely mad. Mad the technical. Problems issue 1. The the clip of him, you know when someone else is doing drum practise in another room and he's shown people around the studio, but every time the guy starts playing the drums he does this ridiculous like that. It is the best clip of all time, is there? Can I ask you a question? Have you been seeing the Tik
Toks going around the boat? Pineapple, Pineapple Dance Studios with a guy called Andrew Stone? No OMGI love. We don't have time today, but I'm going to show you. To use. Are you a big tech talk bro? You're gay. I flick, yeah. What's in your algorithm? Oh, I don't have my phone, but a lot of golf and a lot of car crashes. Wow. I get, I do. I like watching the dash cams. I got a dash Cam. Did you in me car? Yeah. I would assume you always had that. I did.
I thought this is my third dash Cam now, but I got a new one there recently and that's good. Yeah, it's proper cool. This one like so, yeah, I watch a lot of dash Cam car crashes in America. And then there's a there's a really good YouTube channel called Code Code Code Blue or something where it's just police officers arresting people. It's funny you like it. I love all that crime shit, man, That's brilliant. I like it when the person that pulled over is, like, smarter than them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. Oh. I see, I don't. Know not in a snarky way. I like it when they're children. They're like, no, that's. Not there's a guy on TikTok called deputy slope and he works for Pinal County sheriff and he's like got a camera crew with him all the time. He's on the road Traffic Unit and he pulls over people and he's he's. Brilliant. Remember there used to just be crash videos on Channel 5 like once a week? This guy won't be checking in for work tomorrow. He's dead.
Yeah, with a white hair. Yeah, just roasting people after they do. You remember cops from the 90s? Absolutely. Oh. Cops from the cops. Cops were bad boys. Bad boys. Which because they were allowed to fuck you, but. Did you ever see Steven Seagal show We Got Lawman? He used to ride a lot.
He became a sheriff, didn't he? Yeah, but or, or something, but whatever way they shot it, it was like when a crime happened, they put like a graphic on screen like he was sensing it, so it'd be like he'd be in the car and. Smell. Well, he's like, we need to go here now. There's been a crime. And then the lawman would go and take care of business and it would just be so. So it's a classic.
But I've said before, like, do you think Seagal beats the fuck out of us, or do you think you give him a decent fight? I see all the stuff he does right? You run on him and he's just like moves you that way with these two fingers. Yeah, I think that's choreographed. I think it's choreographed too, but I do you think he has a beast line of like?
He did a thing where, like Anderson Silva, the UFC fighter brought him into his camp to teach him something that I was like, he's missing 11 move from his arsenal and I'm the man to give him the move. And he taught him a crane kick. Yeah. And his next fight, he won the fight by doing this crane kick. And Seagal was just like, yes, I told you that would happen. Yeah. And there was the. And so then there's obviously some people do take heed of what he says.
And then I think it was a total fluke. And he was like, if you ever tried kicking someone directly up the face, he's gone. I'll try that. And he did it. One of the best cop videos I would love it if we could find it is when the guy gets pulled over. It's based in the UK and the guy what what would it need to be on platform ice and I send you like with tech talk work take talk. This is my absolute favourite. It's called didn't call you Baldy. I think I saw. Yeah.
He called the copper baldy. Did he? Yeah, he was what you said. I didn't call you. Baldy. It's by far the best I'm sending the boys now. Have you been stopped by the police at all, Dave? Yeah, got stopped by police, got three penalty points in the spot. When was this far? I was speeding, I was driving my mum's car and didn't realise it was going as fast as I was. This shit is why does no one ever just go Yep they got me of speed. No. That's my mum's. Car.
I put my hands up and I admit. That's why you put. That's why, yeah, but I got the points. I was fine, but then I got absolutely fucked and got another three points because you guys, I was coming here to the podcast was running a little bit late, you know, in Hollywood, where to where you come from buying in Hollywood, it goes
from 50 to 40 at the garages. They were on the corner and as I was slowing down into the 40 because it already got my points still, you know, and I just thought that's a dirty place to do that. They're dirty, dirty bastards. They're not that me 6 points. I have no for speeding on a member. Did you try and talk about? It you know I would never do drink and drive because it's stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You love it. But. Yeah, I, I, I couldn't.
What? The idea of it is like, like I think I'm a good driver, but I'm a lightweight, no good drink because I drink like 1-2 three times a year, so. Got a few drinks in Cork or yeah. I don't know, a few drinks in Cork, I'm gonna, if we're doing 2 nights, I'm gonna have what I would call like a medium night and a hard night. What's a hard night for you know? 3 pints. Walk around the local church or something. Yeah, I think we're going to take a drop.
We're going to go to the Cork City Bulls game. Brilliant. Andrew, we're there to do whatever you want to do. No, no, no. We're there to do what? We want what? We want to do and he's going to be the part of. He's the Trojan horse. Yeah, right. M4 driver over a point, right? So this is in England? OK, hold on. It's not very that's the right video down and forth the absolutely here call you boldy boldy. Hey, Boldy, you know it's weird.
I've consumed an entire bottle of water during this podcast. You've not touched yours. Do you not drink water on stage and you don't? Know I had water on this morning. How much water? I've got 14 May I try? I tried to drink about 1 1/2 litres, maybe 1 litre. I'm not going for this whole do 2 litres. You're not going to drink that bottle. My dad doesn't drink after 2:00 PM. Can I take it? Can I take? Protein, protein and drinking at the moment. What's your protein?
Ice less beef, ice less. Come. I'm. How are your kids? You haven't seen them for a couple of weeks. Are they all good? Yeah, just check it. What a cycle. Good bro. Do we need heaven? Jesus Christ. With headphones here, Bush, I wonder. Arrest because I didn't give him my name. Come back. Partially. Because Dave's never seen this. Fuck, are you pulling me? Right. Swear once more you'll be arrested. Don't swear again. I'll pick up you. Let's. Please. I'm.
Sorry, balding in the. Building you can call me bald you like don't bother me I. Didn't call you Baldy Baldy? What's your name please? Mr. Give me your name and address now I'll arrest you. Name and address. Now I'll arrest you. Right, my name is. You don't do that. I talked to this with Flight simulator. What's the latest? My God, do you get it? So the guys sourcing it for me, Oh yeah, I've got all the parts, I've got a price. Man, are you a bit of Walter Miley with us?
Every time we talk in a podcast, I can get it there. It's taking a long time. You need to do it. We want to be under the stairs, we want to go on the train and go. What day does it know? I think where we March. You'll be flying soon, don't worry, right? I good I won't wait for that. What do you want to apply us to? Just like UK or something. No, I want. To fit one leg. Oh no, you said my knee would. You sit in a normal chair behind it like. Yeah, that's all right.
I'd like to depends on South of the Yeah, the pirate, yeah. The guy that sourced that for me is a pilot. Right. And he has a simulator that's the exact one I want, but he says it's the component of the Paris you. Have a simulator if he's already a pilot. If he just does it for training and stuff. Right. Is he the one that lives next door to? Yeah, it's not just kick, it would be maybe cheaper. I've asked to buy the one just in the house look.
Could you put a wee door in just between the houses? Well, I think that's right. That's where I go. You go in his house. Go in house to do it like still under the stairs but. He would be like if you just just kept letting yourself come and go as you want that he can don't have a go when you're already there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So scratch takes takes quite a while because it has to be built. Right. So it'll it'll be done. Yeah, but I went playing spot and didn't.
I doesn't know that then about fast. However me and Judy got take away we saw watch the planes come in. Like on purpose or we eat new take away and they were. Playing well, we kind of did a bit of board like and we're watching the standard lines, everything like rammed. Beautiful evening. I like he think it was dog. Yeah. All these people were there and they were so excited. But then I just had sex with a lot of randomness. Yeah, I did. He got watching the standalone
and. What was the what was the takeaway you? Went to the chippy in Hollywood, got a burger and chips. What? Really. Yeah. Scampionships. Brilliant. Lovely. It's a nice Roddy Duckers. What's the ultimate chippy or. Sausage, sausage and batter. Right. Chips and gravy, right? Cheeseburger on the site. Bad day like it's a bad day if you're having a bad. Day what to drink? Day coke, right? You're having a load of salt. Red sauce. A No, the Curry sauce is enough.
Do you get vinegar? No, right. It has to be in paper. Right has to come in paper. That we all I would say I like I like I like a cheesy chip cheese, but. Give me the whole. Give me the whole thing. We're talking about a bad day. You have your. Start I like a big chicken Phillip burger do with the bacon and cheese on it. But if bacon, cheese, Phillip burger, cheesy chip, what else?
Then you would you could probably flirt with some fish good like a cod, but then you don't get the cheese or the chicken burger, depends on the mood. And then you don't get a cheesy chip with the cod either. So it's 2 separates. You know, we should do, we should have like a big chippy afternoon in the summer. Yeah. Joanne, get Lord of us. All right lads, Chippy Fridays, after you do your parts, get a lot of people down here, we'll go out. Nice big sunny day, big chippy lunch.
Because you know. You chill out. I want scampi and chips. Yeah, it's go down to The Dirty Duck and go somewhere or somewhere and we get it. Here's what I have at The Dirty Duck at the moment. It's great. The portions are massive. Absolutely. The portions are massive. Here's what I have, the honey chilli chicken kind of thing, the half and then the squid, right? And I pour the. Scores to get squid.
Into the honey chilli chicken, mix it into the one dish and I can actually tease that there or not. Just can we go to Dirty Duck? Why? But you know what, I want to, I want to just speak to Foster real quickly. You know it was one of the. Best you want to go to dirty dog. Elect his left, Elect his left can. I can I just say Julie and I had a voucher for The Dirty Duck, right? That your dad? Can you give it to me, Shane? Your dad gave me a voucher for
The Dirty duck, right? And Julie and I went. Never eaten there before. I think with that I was hoping you'd take him. Was he? And we went unbelievable. We should go. Yeah. But listen, let's just say that is on that. I don't want to go there, break my dad. No, thank you. You want that? Yeah, false day we used to go. We used through papers together back in the day when we were boys. And one of the highlights of the year was the Christmas dinner. The paper boys should go on.
And it was the. Paper Boys Christmas dinner. Paper Boys Christmas dinner or just go what it used to be called. Bobby, Max, you go to Bobby. Max, Bobby. Max for the spots where the Rally Donkey is now. But it used to be Bobby Max. The Rally Ducks Brilliant, but Bobby Max was a different vibe. Bobby Max was your quintessential weekend chippy dinner extravaganza fruit machine as soon as you walked in. Excuse me? Right. Unbelievable. You would walk in and it was like it had the old.
I think just, it was like an old fish and chip shop you'd have seen in the 1990s in EastEnders. It was perfect. Ah, but always think it was the biggest thing. See, now as a grown adult, I realised that was just a cheap dinner for the workforce. We were child. Everybody's like, we'll get you a chippy. But I love chippy with a reset in section I'm probably. Oh, I love it. Love it. It was brilliant. Do you know what I went for the very first time? Friar Tux and Newry.
Oh wow, spot. Oh no, there's two of them in the one time with different owners. And there's one point fire talks as well. I went, Aaron Butler took me there when we were doing Canal Court and he said to me enjoy it and. Yeah. Of course, what you're going to get. Canal Court with it to see. Oh yeah. Kennel cordon, right? It was fire trucks was great. Yeah, I'm loving all these chippies up here, but I'm going to, I'm going to give you some feedback, guys. Chinese is in Northern Ireland,
not good enough? Really. I'm sorry, but I do not rate your Chinese is here and I've said it before and I'll say it again. Disappointing. Yeah, Chinese game is not good. Enough. He doesn't read Chinese and Andrew Turtle, but you have anything you want to plug and promote? No. Q Radio on the one? Yeah. Yeah, I just just listen to Daddy What's podcast on BBC. Science. We'll put the. Link on the Slag podcast on 3rd. Put the link in down below. Please. Thank you.
Boys, thank you very much. Patron another call it for kill Toddy. Patreon.com, So TV podcast, and if you want to do Kill Toddy or you want to come and see it, it's on the 13th of April. Can I say? E-mail teamsmepodcast@gmail.com. I just saw the artwork for it. Nice picture. You know, you look well. Thank you.