How'd the big shows go? Unreal. Two of the best nights in my career. Crowd were amazing, venue perfect. We Nando's unreal. What's your plan for next year Going bigger and better? Next year I'm just going to relax with a big cup of tea. So welcome to this episode of the Tea with Me podcast. With me, she and Todd. Before we get into this episode, got to tell you a couple of very quick things. We are sponsored by none other
than that prize guy. A lot of people walking around saying the prize guy, me being one of them, that prize guy, Ireland's largest prize site. Willy, I know you didn't think you'd be involved in the intro without looking at that screen. What you think TPG is giving away? £50. 50. Quid £50 higher What? Higher? 60 higher?
No way it's above. 125 million pounds 125 million after we recorded this episode in the time we recorded this to the time it goes out, they will made their 8th millionaire. Last weekend. Last weekend. Imagine that. Imagine being I'll just join Rain. You're born. You're a millionaire. Without voice be tagged. Even believe it if that was the voice.
Your voice is Halloween witch. You know, but it's, it's, it's, it's not that 8 millionaires have been made thanks to that prize guy, the prizes going on all the time, sometimes for, you know, 100 grand, 20 grand, a van, a car, a jet ski, some of these I'm making up from now, a hamster, you know. Lamborghini yours or 120 grand A. Lamborghini. How much? How much to enter or a? 120 grand How much to enter £100
for a ticket? 85 P. 80 pence pence some anger, some not right That's it's too it's that tanky meant to make it £85 and he's done done it by mistake.
He's. Done. Thatprizeguy.co.uk there's loads of stuff going on if if you live here, you will know someone for sure at least one person who's won something before on that price Guy, thank you for sponsoring us. I've got to also point you towards our patreonpatreon.com site, Team Me podcast if you want all that extra stuff, the Live Waterfront podcast is like the second one will be coming out stars and your eyes will be
coming out. We're doing an event that we're talking about that's going to be next month. It's. Going to be April. It's going to be in April. You're involved in that by the way, you know. But does he know about that? No, you're doing some of us. We're doing a special event. I'm a millionaire. No, you're not. Sorry you're not £1,000,000 but this is even better. You're part of AT With Me Live special event. OK, It's going to be a lot of fun, you'll love it.
Available. No, you're available. You'll don't. Know. You'll love it. OK, you told me that a certain tour I'm doing clash with your UK tour dates and they checked your website. And you don't listen to me. You're right, actually, you did say that Pedro on the with me. Fuck. Be in my assistance. There's times in one shot you went, why can't you do this? Or like you didn't tell me this and I'll have to go up, get the message and go, yes I did. The link for that is in the
description. TV Podcast live at the SSC Arena, 23rd of May 21st 23rd of May Boom Bang Bang boom surprises, grand things. It's going to be great. This episode of TV Podcast features 2 fantastic comedians. We have the man with the voice that you've heard there, the Blackpool visitor he loves. Not anymore. Umm, ladies and gentlemen, William Thompson. And we are joined by, I want to say Dublin based, but that's making an assumption, you know, probably probably don't live
that far from Dublin really. I'm actually from Dublin. Umm, fantastic stand up comedian actress, eh, you might have seen some stuff online which is absolutely brilliant. I just watch the sketching with four arms and Hog, which was 10 out of 10 part of RT sketch series that's on at the minute. The brilliant Justine Stafford. Please enjoy. I've I've already done the the intro. This is start of the episode. Oh wow, so I've already done the intro. I was telling you I've that top.
I love that. I bloody love it now. I love free stuff. No, but like Guinness is like, you know the the dream scenario here. What's the best free thing either of you have ever got? I think it has to be. I get a laugh from Guinness. They're very good fans of mine. Yeah, I got another jersey this week for bows. Yeah, it's a white stunning with. Their with all that's great. Yeah, I would like to have that. There so that I got. Basically give me. No target, I will have that.
Thank you. Come back to your awareness. When Banshee Bones came back, they sent me two boxes for a little. Just and, you know, banshee bones. I do indeed. They yeah, they sent me a jumper. Yeah. I didn't get the crisp. I wanted the crisp. Yeah, I don't want Tato merch. Give me the. Crisp, the crisp itself because I did I dressed up as it for Halloween one year as the
banshee bones. So I got I had to sacrifice a piece so. When I when I asked you, did you know, not only do you know of the existence of banshee bones, you have been a banshee bone yourself? Yeah. I was a very fat child, so if you're talking any kind of food related thing, I'm going to be a fan of it. But yeah, I sacrificed the PS1 dance match and like had to put myself through it and had the wig and all. And that was just, they were
coming back the month after. So I was, yeah, I was a big fan. I was in P7 fancy dress strand show strand primary school. I Father Ted was like huge, obviously on TV. You're going to say something dodgy, like as in something you could never do anymore. A costume would be like, Oh no. Robert Mugabe. Yeah, I went. You went as Father Ted with the episode where he does the Chinese eyes. That's who you went this.
I went as Father Todd, which I thought was 10 out of 10 hours, but it was just me and like me with the collar on the preschool. But then I had a sign on that said Father Todd. So it was so reliant on the fact that I was telling you what I was. You know what I mean? So was it. I had to do that one year. And it does. You kind of feel like if I have to explain what it is, is it that good of a costume? But still, I mean, you're, you're young. I got like oh back then.
Yeah, can't need to know. Not now. I was like. Oh Christ, no. I you have an older energy than me. I told you before this episode, you look like you're on G being used to defend Joey Barton. Yeah. Because life. So you're dressed me down. I have a weathered spirit. You become a hat guy in a OH. Man, I love you're. Hot girl just. I am, I do. I've like six months of the year it's the woolly hat, and six months of the year it's the cap, right? I just don't. Yeah. For the summer, yeah.
Yeah, No, sometimes I mix it up, sometimes even this in the summer, just to keep, just to keep people guessing. You and Tenerife for that. Like just bacon. And I keep it on in the shower. I just like to have it, you know, it's. You become a real hot guy. Yeah, and there's bad you during this hot because like I feel more aggressive when. I Yeah, you look, you look at yeah. We're trying to say. Yeah, you had the hat in Blackpool. He loves Blackpool. Just. A Really. Yeah.
Why? He's banging on a bit for months telling everyone to go I. Have no reason. I've never been so I can't speak for my feelings on it. I liked it the first time I went because it was a fun place, right? Like it just has a it has like, arcade beach, Pleasure Beach, fish and chips. You want to go see Roy Chubby Brown? He's there. Yeah, he's there a lot. It's just like a we sell your. Mental right? Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Model myself after yeah. So I was like, I just.
By the way, Halloween next year. Yeah. Chubby, Brian. I hope not. I can't put it back on that quickly. Roy Chubby Brown But that's because that's this time I last time I stayed on the north side of the sea front. My biggest sea. Front it's literally like a 10 minute walk but I swear to God it's like the Berlin Wall. The difference between the North and South goes up north. That's where all the tour. That's the tourist event. So nice. This time I accidentally stayed
in the South side. Awful awful. Like shops boarded up, nothing open. I forgot to bring a toothbrush, went to go and buy one and passed people on the way and thought I might not get one here. OK, I don't think they. Do the one, yeah. It's all a guy with four teeth, and he had the most, yeah. Yeah. And they were just in his hand. He didn't. Even you know you need to go. If you like, you'll back me up on this. If you like seaside resorts, post. Oh, stunning. Yeah. Where's hope?
In fact, we went. Remember Me, you and Andrew before the Olympic gig? Went see swimming and then had lunch. Fancy lunch? When that? Last year, you don't remember, we went swimming. In the city just doesn't remember it's Blackpool or nothing. Yeah, You know, we didn't play Time Crisis at any stage, so I don't know. I've had two, isn't there? I don't remember it. Because I thought you were going to say Betty Stone. Yeah, it's in me. It'll be like, I think they have time crisis too.
It's very like, not fancy fancy. It did, because that's where I yes, I do remember this because that's why I had the idea for the Edinburgh show, because it's. Like in 51st dates when the show were the VCR of her life and then she just. It all comes back, yeah. I remember nothing. The one in Newcastle I've been up to, it's nice. Newcastle here, yeah. Yeah, It's nice. You explored the North much?
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Oh, with two but two different with two different products. I was going to say like, is it possible? I think it's possible yeah. For you, you you could use the weed wacker. You could use the weed wacker Yeah and and the lawnmower 5.0 products for everything. Name a body part that monster product for used used the weed whacker for the year as well. The year hair, the nose hair guys, guys of a certain age, you need that treat. Yourself go Gooch. Go for the Gooch.
Trying to think something like word play there man. Manscape.com Use the code T with me for 20% off from free shipping back to the episode. Best rabbit lever? Hang on. I'm trying to think of something that rides a fat bastard. Hang on. You were doing a trot. Were you over the travel show this week? No, that was last October. It was filmed but only came out this week, so we went to Greece. Dara Ennis, he's the chaser on. Yeah, that's right.
I remember just thinking that was like it was a straight, not a strange. No, but like, because generally I think that shows like you bring two people who are friends away, but I think they kind of reached a point that they were like, we're running out of it. We just put amalgamated people together and it worked out really well. Is he always just learning? He is a walking Wikipedia page. You know, I mean, and is that fun or is that? I know he was great. Like for, you know, he didn't
ever need a tourist guide. Yeah, just, I know everything, which is very handy because I don't know a lot about anything. Where did you just go, Eh, Tess and Aliki in Greece, Right. And it was lovely. But it's the whole concept is someone gets a expensive luxury holiday and the other one gets a cheap one. I got the cheap 1. So that was an idea. Like, he went on a wine tasting tour and I did an olive oil taste into her.
Yeah, right. And like the woman doing the tour took the first sip and started choking. I was like, this isn't confidence. At all what? What chaser would you most like to go away with? I go like I do a beta with a beast look. He'd have a good time. This is cousin there. He'd have a great time. That's right. I come there, be through with me and my cousin wife. We're going to stay with my father and nephew as well. We're just having a fucking fun time. He has married his cousin.
I'm not making that. Oh yeah. I think there was, I think it was more, I think it was like a second cousin or something that's. What I was going to ask, I was like, are we talking first here? Still not OK? Yeah. No, I don't think it is, but I just mean like, you know. I'm also pretty sure it was an open marriage, which is mental. For other cousin only other cousins. Putting the keys at the bowl in your granny's wake is mental. I would love to go with only because, like, I've met him a
few times. He's lovely. Paul Sinner, the Cinnamon. One of your You said this cinnamon. Yeah, the cinnamon. You said the cinnamon. Like the spice? Hey also, it's gonna blow your tits off when you realise what that name is meant, no? I know, but you said it like not the word plate. But I heard the spice. Yeah, you said. The cinnamon, Yeah, the cinnamon, But it's the cinnamon because it sounds like cinnamon. Yeah, the cinnamon I would love to go on a holiday with so.
You're still saying it. You're still saying it. Yeah, his name, Yeah, his name is. Paul Cena the cinnamon, Yeah. Paul Cena the cinnamon. I would love to go. Fuck. OK. On a holiday with him, yeah, but he he does that thing too that like Dara would do where you're you're just walking past something he hits you like 5 it's. Incredible. And like, how do you know so much? It's incredible, but by the 8th one you're outright. Yeah, I. Don't need to know this much
about in in a bath house. There's something to be said for not revising. You know what I mean? You know, but it did, it was funny because it did on like they did funny edits where it is like Dara on fact one and then it cuts back and he's on fact 8 and it's like, OK. And they just start closing the door in front of them and be like, yeah. Did you, you said you've been Newcastle them up here a bit like did you ever holiday here when you were younger or anything?
No, but I like I where I'm from a home about about 25 minutes from like Jonesboro and then you're on up and I. Said you were from Dublin, started this party. No, yeah, no, I'm from Meads. I love how much research from me saying it's, I feel very, you know. So where the bait? Where the I'm. Wearing the is me. Yeah, OK. Do you know what I need to hear? I do. I do. There you go. I said thank you, There you go, based. I said based. Based in Dublin, your spot on.
So you wouldn't holiday it over the border or anything? Wouldn't it? But like I would have again, I was a fat child and there was a lot of things in Sainsbury's like postman packed crisps, right they so. You couldn't have got couldn't. Have got no but I was dead set and getting them and also tubby toast. OK, it was only a Marks and Spencer's it was it was brioche. It was brioche bone I. Am an S Teletubby, OH.
You better believe it. And I was up here age days, just filling the trolley for all of. Us, that's a weird collab, Yeah, Teletubbies and M&S, you would think Teletubbies, Tesco's or as the hand in hand. Yeah, or B&M job sounds like Toby Toast, but yes, yeah, no, but that's when a lot of they don't really do it so much anymore. But almost every TV show had a food. Yeah. As a kid, Bob the Builder had crisps. Oh my God, Barney as well. What was the ham? Billy Roll.
The ham, but he was on the TV. Philly bar. There's not Billy Barry, so we bars face. It there's a, there's a clown one there's a bear one, there's a yeah, yeah. So you had the what? You had to head up to Newry, to Yeah, to. Get snacks. To get all. This and then this is pathetic now, but even when I was like late 20s, they stopped doing ricicles because there's too much sugar in them. And don't get me wrong, it's just Rice Krispies. I could put sugar, but it's not
this. You're. Right. No, you're right. Not the. Same. You're right. Yeah, I want to lose my teeth like so I would go up again and I. It's like, you know, all cornflakes with sugar doesn't necessarily give you Frosties. Yeah. I'm not annoying, not grace and annoys me. I get why you can't have them. It's bad for kids, you know it's bad for sugar to be and everything. But also, I'm a grown man. Yeah, do you ever put cinnamon on your cereal or anything? I do put cinnamon on my shirt.
I have Cinnamon grammes, which is a delicious and educational cereal. Yeah, cinnamon. Great, we said. I said before I said it again, Cinnamon grammes are the best. They're. Unreal. We're the best. They used to do golden grammes as well. I remember them. This is finally my people. I'm not excited. Were you? Like I just fought kids around this. Top three breakfast cereals back in the day Back in the day when kids nowadays, they'll live longer, but they'll never
appreciate but. I don't want to live. And they're also no crack kids. You're happy to. You've been to you've been to Greece with Darren from The Chase. They. Discontinued Telly Teletubby toast. What is there to live? For? Shame. Yeah, the kids these days are no crack. They're no fun. Yeah, because they're not getting that sugar. We were funks. We had that sugar rush of yeah. And then you would say whatever came in your head. Yeah. Now, as a parent, it's probably beneficial. Oh big.
Time yeah, big I can see the benefits there but as the child my. Son had strawberries breakfast this morning. I wouldn't even if you'd have said that to me as a child, that. I've been like, are the are the depth in chocolate? It's the strawberry half the. 20s on them, yeah. Pop Tarts. Yeah, it was the strawberry jam pop. Tarts. When my when my mom used to work early mornings so I'd be left in the house by myself when I was like 9 or 10 You. Matilda And then you've got magic powder.
So I got the obviously I got less part in my body disabled. So when my mom just a hot, the hot throws it off man, the hotter like. There's no way it throws it off. All right, Spinelli, from Recess you. Know. That's just been out. But so when my mom would go out, she used to make sure I would eat healthy because like you said, you know, I was, I was a chunky child myself, but I would go out and I would have, I would have Willy breakfast, but Willy wanted 4 pop tarts.
Really, breakfast could be very different thing some listeners. 4 pop tarts and a litre of coke. Oh God. And it was. So litre of and it would be. Are you sure you have cerebral palsy and you're not just knackered from that? I would have the two different flavours. The chocolate one. The chocolate one and the strawberry 1. So I would make a little sandwich with the strawberry one in the middle of the two chocolate ones and then the extra strawberry one for dessert.
God I respect this so much. I would have shook your hand as a 10 year old and said teach me your way. Hey, I think. You're lucky I still have the hunt of the diabetes I. Think. Sugar shakes. Black kids have more, I tell you what it is. It's character building, all right, because you have to be like, well, you know, I have to have a personality. Always happy, sweaty and happy. Always. Because that happiness isn't real. It's either the sugar or they're
going. No, I'm fine. Yeah. I don't like getting picked for. Things, yeah. Who wants a girlfriend? No. But I always got picked first for goalie, so you have to look at the positives. I was like, I take up more space. It was the dream scenario. Tug of war. They're like the literal ball are getting.
Anchored in the team, yeah. The human cattle bell will get him in. But there was times I remember going on a family holiday and to America to visit my cousins and we went into an Applebee's restaurant and I was 11. And for some reason, Applebee's that day were doing a campaign where it was pay what you weigh for kids under 12, right? Yeah, My family had to get remortgage like, but we were there and like, I was with all my cousins who were just not
built the same way I was built. And all of them went first. And then before I stood, in this case, my own goes, I'd say this will be a bit more. And I was like, yeah, no, this isn't helping. I really feel safe in my own skin here. But it was like 100 and something pounds so then it was $1.12 like it was. But all my cousins were like God for $0.49 type thing. If that was me when I was 11, they'd have owed me like £20.
Yeah, I was like, well, I can say this because my grandma's dead now, but he used to call me the Ethiopian. Oh, it's not racist. He's dead. The Ethiopians got him and killed them. For that remark, I can say that my grand is dead. Mental defence from you, OJ Simpson. I can say that my wife's dead. The regret on Justine's face. She has an RTE show. She doesn't. Realise it's like a lot of debt. When someone dies, it still the family still have to pay it. I thought it dies with him but
it doesn't. It doesn't be a generational trauma. He said that to me. Did you have a moment where you realised you were fat? Many, I think there was a harrowing 1 when I was shopping with my mom and we went to get clothes and I got 12. I was like, finally I'm age 12, I'm wearing 12. And my mom explained to me, no, that's a woman size 12. And I was like, oh, I thought I'd just been proven that I am just a normal kid. That was one of many moments. There's moments where you realise like.
Oh, I'm not like other kids. Because you don't realise you're Especially because my dad was heavier when I grew up. Like my dad was a big Stoner. So we come in, live from work, smoke a joint, order Chinese like 2:00 in the morning, wake me up to have half of it and then send me back to bed and then wonder why I'm not sleeping. It's two hours. I'm a pop Tart sandwich. Exactly. Like, OK, this explains a lot, yeah. My mom was like, he doesn't eat
breakfast. I'm like, it's not a charming in half an hour. Breakfast a chance? So I didn't know. So you just grow up around that and then you like do PE. By the way, you don't. You said that like we all do. You grew up like that. Yes, for your dad waking you up. The fucking chunky brothers over there. We did like we knew and I remember it was in pain, getting changed in pain.
We all got changed in the same room and I just remember taking my top off and another kid came up to me and grabbed me by my very ample bosoms and sort of made them clap. I made them clap for a real G and that's when I realised, Oh, no one else can do that, Yeah. But that's par.
No, it's not part well to clap another boy's tits that's par over him so. We had a moment like that because I was in a safe space, because it was me and there's another boy in my school and we were the two we were in it together. We were both chunky kids like, but there was a harrowing moment. I still it's it's when I knew we're going to be friends for life because when the girls in our class who was very thin, like came up to my friend Brian and was like, ha, you have
boobs. And then Brian went, huh, you don't. And I shook his head and I said, we're going to be friends for life. That's phenomenal. But yeah, I there was many moments of that realisation. The chair sank under my weight in primary school. Oh really? Yeah, it's not ideal. And then the teacher's like, oh, dodgy chair, I'm like, please don't. And did you just like grow out? Like did it just stop being a thing? Well, no, I ended up with anorexia, so it's by the dark root I took.
We're not going into that. Fucking hell. No, we're not going to do it in the pub. How many pockets? What could do it? Let's ruin everyone's afternoon. Let's get dog with it. No, Yeah. So like. I used to hit me if I didn't finish your champion. I'll talk about that one night I didn't need, I didn't need to spare ribs. And he left. He actually deadly deadly overspare ribs. No, no, he took spare Reds breath. I'm actually like far. He left me with prone crackers.
I'm like I don't need these and I'm the paint in them. Pop Tarts and the prone cracker. Useless. My mom died with the Bush when I was three months old. Shut up. What's not? Nightmare, you know that's. It's not ideal. But I just made difference. You don't know any different. Yeah. It is kind of that feeling known. They're like, is it my fault? Like 3 months is pretty. Has to be me like that's. Your. Fault probably a last resort was like have them and see yeah. Give it three months.
Give me 12 weeks and I don't do anything. I'm just. I can imagine it was your dad was trying to crack banter. Be you, but you were 3 minutes. He's like, look at, look at the whole on her and you're like, man, he's like, I can't stop him. Well, was your grandda still around as well? Maybe things just got difficult with your grandda around. He was. He was. He was around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not anymore. God love. Well, this is fine. Now we've all shared something.
We can move past this. We all. Yeah. This was wonderful. I love favourite. Ever gig? I did a gig to some fat fuckers Super Bowl party. I used to, I used to wear hoodies to try and hide the fact that I was, you know, yeah, bigger. But then I'd wear a fucking waistcoat over that. That just shapes back around the facts like I was actually demented. A waistcoat. A waistcoat. Like the? Because I thought this would hide. Justin used to play snooker professional.
Yeah, as a kid I was like serving orders at a school. A bouncer with a hoodie on at that point, I love it, yeah. But then it was again, I was just wearing the waistcoat over that. Like I thought people won't notice that. That's just reshaping the fat around. Yeah, I used to just wore full football kits because I was too embarrassed because they would give a have a better give. They were by a baggy or fit then, yeah. Yes, but that was just more
football kits everyone's like. Yeah, you're not playing. Yeah. But I do think, I think like I won't be the person I am today if I didn't go through that. It's character building. You have to develop a personality. You need to. You need to be either ugly or fat at one stage to be. Interested. Very ugly. Yeah, very ugly. Giant teeth. I've told the story before, but I used to sound about it. Is that like big buck teeth and giant ears and a big peanut
shaped head? Yeah, but I used to have a shaved head up and I was like 16. I just had like one all over my hair. And whenever I was in primary school, some of the boys in the class were called me Ronaldo. And I thought this was unreal because remember the the old Ronaldo, Ronaldo was like the best football in the world at the time. And I thought this was brilliant. And I was trying to make it extend outside the school,
outside the school of friends. I was being like, call me Ronaldo. And I and then some of the girls in the class were like, no, it's because you have like big ears and buck teeth and you look like them shit of football. I got called Ronaldo too, but it was oh sex World Cup Ronaldo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Past the prime, but.
You know what, I think, looking back at things now, I think people that blossom too soon, you're actually doomed because you don't have to develop a personality and you can swan through life. And I actually tend to find these people that went through or weren't that, you know, conventionally attractive or whatever you want to say as a kid. You actually grow up. Look at them now. Yeah, Look at you. Yeah. I don't know what you look like
previously, but. I look like the new Ronaldo from a distance, if he'd been like I'll for a long time. Yeah, like didn't have his face or body. I guess I'm the worst. Look, I. Read William. What every time I get tagged in that you look like this. Big boy. I know I don't. I look like, what's his name? We the actor Louise Guzman. Yes, he does. He. Do look like Louise Goodman. You just seen you just seen him and stuff.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, That's that's everyone that we pick knows that's what I look like. Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, because I'm lovely. I don't like, yeah. But you find, like, 99% of people who do stand up were either, like, bullied or were weird kids or like something. I've yet to meet anyone who's like, not everything's been all good. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if they do, they don't last long doing this. Yeah. Because they have a gig and they see what people are like.
And they're like, Oh no, this I don't like. This Why do I put this in my life? Everything's been fine up until this point, Yeah. I also love when it like a comedian gets up and goes, you know, I had a bit of trauma and I'm like, we all did. Yeah, I know. Shut up. Because that's what I used to do. Bits about like mental health. I'm like, there's no point because the comedian is going to have a bit about that. I'm like. Yeah, you. Go a different angle here with this.
Yeah, yeah, I think we're talking about Electric Picnic earlier because I'm doing Port Leash on the day we're recording this. Umm, I wonder, did we meet Electric Picnic, I wonder, a couple years ago, because I did. Ivy couple year, did you do it last year before I met you Briefly, I think of that. Year before I was getting bananas for people. Oh, there's a weird. Not like I was there to gig, but. Thank God your granddad didn't see that. Yeah. Oh, what he would have said.
Oh God, tell me it says hot bad juju man says hot makes me say that's how it. Stop the slurs. So, so I heard backstage that there was there was a spread somewhere, an artist's spread. Yes. And I love a spread right from my football top some free gear. And also here's a weird one. I told the boys we were doing a pod. I went like I kept texting down. Am I going being like boys keep an eye out in the office because prime are sending me a load of free gear, right?
I was like prime or sort don't did you? I never replied to the message because I didn't want to. I don't want cans of prime. I didn't know what it was going to be, so I said Yep, here's my address, send it down. They sent me a message how you enjoying your prime and I replied and said, oh, I haven't got it yet or anything, but like I can't wait. And then I said last work and then we were doing a bonus episode and I went, oh, prime, I'm like a primer. I said that prime athlete.
I was like, I'm getting stuff sent out and I was like, wonder what they gave us a lot of stuff for doing the marathon. We're doing podcast marathon and I went and people were like, yeah, right. Like prime message. I was like they've said about being like part of the Prime family and stuff. Yeah. So I went, I'll fucking shoot, send you the message. I'll show it to the camera and you can put it up. I went in, deleted all their messages. What? They deleted all their messages.
I have the original screenshot because I sent somebody else. But I was like, Prime, what do you? Do you got ghosted by Prime? Yeah, and. I met a message and sentiment like what's happening here. Now you're just needy though. But I need that gear they promised me. Taking the top call out, Logan Paul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I replied to them, I never did. I replied them and get in touch about never mind me. I wonder what Todd is getting
his supply. Yeah, it's the worst thing he's done since that for Japan Forest. This is worse. Stringing me alone. He tried to delete that video too. He has a string. Me along with Badger words. What do you say? He tried to. Do hanging awesome. Very annoying. Yeah, I have some regret. Don's going to be cutting tonight. Also in the. Not to not to brag, but I told you I did get a black card for the kebab house on normal roads. You did. You did. If you ever want to fight.
Childhood. You guys would have loved that. OK, Yeah. I got your boy gets trying to. Bring you back the childhood. Yeah. You know they're trying. To call you back rings and chilli sauce. Oh, no. But that's the thing. You never go out of it. Like I will always be a fat child inside me. Like you have to get disciplined or else I would still be. Yeah. And the lifestyle we lead, like
the gigs and film and stuff. Like, because I'll talk to you about the schedule, but like the hours that you're doing that and the way you just got to eat on the go. Yeah, it's not. And I always do this thing on tour where I'll go. Brilliant Eat healthy now I'm on tour it's. Funny, it's worse. I'm an American in a couple of weeks and it's good. It's not going to be good. But you and it's not a benefit because you do have a disease. Yes.
Yeah, it's Crohn's. Yeah, but you still you physically can't eat as bad as you maybe could. Yes, you still have to have my idea of like, I'm like, oh, don't let anyone see this. And machine is like, you know, a bit to three biscuits. Yeah. I'm like, I'm having three gluten free hold. And I was don't tell my wife, you know, it's not like I'm like off of really letting myself go. Yeah. America's harder, though, as well, because they're. It's not real, just. Wild, yeah.
You read the ingredients and it just says you don't want to know, you know? You're like that. And then you'll come into my hotel room and I'm sitting like, you know, the bad guy from Toy Story 2, Just, like, asleep of crisps on me, Yeah. I sometimes do with hang on a night out called the Bang Bang where you go to one take away and then no. Judgement. I wish. But no, you go to one take away and then directly afterwards you go to another. That's the thing I like. To.
So what's the? What's the system? I am, I will inhale all food when I've had a few drinks. Because you, you're, you're Instagram. You're Rachel Mcpeak. There was a there was a period of about a year where you guys were like Anthony Bourdain run around there's. Another league now. It was pints and food, but it was like, it was like banquets mediaeval kings would have after nights out. You talk about a spread. It was like Henry the Eighth, no? Because we went for food there
last weekend. We went for oysters and then we went for pints and listen to that and. Oysters and pints. And then it can say. Dublin's lost their own of it. No, but that was a Bang, Bang because we had oysters and then we had pints and then we got a kebab to just finish off the night. Sounds like a great time. No, I see. That's that's the inner child. Whenever I'm hammered, it's like, oh, she's free again, let's just let her go wild.
But and if you're doing 2 two types of take away watch like I feel like you can't go Chinese first because you're talking a lot of thick sauces. You'd think that Shane, right? You would think that Bush. Well, like, yeah, before that it would have been. I got Chinese 1st and then I want to got a brio. So is it straight from 1:00 to the other or start of the night? This pints finish here. It can be either, right? Yeah, it's.
Versatile like in. So if I'm very much going home alone, I think that's when I do one in a row because no ones going to in a row rather because no ones going to see this. You don't need to see me at my worst. Well. I did like a but less extreme version of this when because I just got my, I didn't look at the time me and Willie went for a fry at like 10:00 AM on like we're doing radio 10 AM on a Tuesday morning. And then at like 12 I went, let's go to Nandos and I had
like a full banquet there. Respect. That so much. But I didn't realise I'd done it and. I and you thought I was just being weird because I didn't want to have. Yeah. And those after we just had a full meal. You're taking his dad and stuff too seriously. You know, it's been an R Yeah, I also got it though. If I was all night out and someone turned around like you wanna come for a bang, bang, and then I turn around and they've just got a pan. You're an Apache. Pizza.
You've got a Taco chip and a calzone. Dublin night out food is brilliant. It is solid. There's a there's a Chinese place. I quit a bit. No, Rachel actually recommended it. Yeah, it's near since Stevens Green. It's like 2 words. It's like yeah or something was not that I. Don't know now which. You know, it sounds like I'm saying telling you the hotel was there not just to tell you, but it's near the Westbury Hotel,
It's near the pub I love umm. All Georgie Best over here and if he loves a pub you know it's a good 1/3. OK, OK. Oh, and it is, Yeah, I know I can't pronounce, but I know what you're talking about. Best place back in Dublin in there. Really. Yeah, really good, Bunsen. Oh, phenomenal. I'm gonna be in Dublin two weeks. I might go for a bang. Bang, yeah. Get a Bang Bang. I'm not this is it. Why are you joking yourself? I'm not, I'm feeling, I'm feeling my neck fat.
But thank you. I want to ask you about the schedule that's out of the minute that you guys are making. Yes, that seems like a lot of fun. We had that as well where you kind of like just make a schedule with your mates. Oh, it's the dream, like as I was talking to the lads here for you were back with coffees. But it's because I need to catch up on all the episodes from Chances as well. But the stuff I've seen from it, it's just the quality when you have a team that can shoot your
stuff like it's. And did you guys get the like we got a lot of sort of freedom with that in terms of being able to do it the way we like? And I think as we've done the first series, we kind of learned mistakes from that and things we wanted to do better. And like going in, we'd like a
meeting to decide. Like can we all suggest people that we've worked as well doing videography and stuff and directing That was such a benefit because I think comedy is specifically is such a thing that needs to be done. Comedy editing I just think is make or break for. Catering. Editing Cinnamon. So I think that makes such a difference. I wasn't, I knew it wasn't great. I was just like met. It was like I was messing. Sorry, Willie has to go to sign a petition for Excel Bullies.
Yeah, two family bags of crisps. It's your fault. Bang Bang, but. Yeah, like you could be the best like cinematic feature film editor in the world, but. It won't work for comedy. Yeah. Because it can. You could have something that isn't usable and someone, if you're able to edit right, can actually make something out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Funny. So I think that was the big difference for us this time around, that we'd all worked with people who do comedy that we could suggest and get on
board as well. But you probably know as well, similar to us, like the turnover turn around time is wild. Like I think we 2-3 weeks to write and then get into shooting and which was insane and because all of us series 1 was just after COVID. So like we were all like just it's great we actually have work. Whereas this time around we were all busy and other things. So it became a nightmare to even find times where people were free and all available to be together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with more freedom, but like you do still have the constraints of like budget and things that aren't able to do with. I've seen like like a seems to be a really good reaction to it. Yeah. Which is always good. I know because yeah. Because it you know. Oh, this thing, you can think this is the funniest thing you've ever seen. And then when you put it online like rice, OK, death threats, lovely. I wasn't expecting that reaction.
So that was the thing because we were all so much happier with season 2. But it kind of felt like, but will the public think that if we put it out with reaction has just been fucking dreams now? It's been great because. There's people differ on that, like when people give you shit, a lot of people go just ignore them, don't respond. That's not my mantra. I can't help it. It depends on the day. He's told me a phrase he wants to start using. Don't bring.
I can't, I can't, I can't tell her off. But he he says there's a phrase he's pretty close in the future, he's going to start just replying to all comments with it. Can you, can you whisper? Do you even feel bad about? Yeah, I don't know that well that I can say, OK. You're right, you're right, you're right. It's a wild. It's a doozy. It's dark. But he's going to start using that.
But like, but we always talk about how someone can write whatever they want and like really personal about you and your work and you can say the most innocuous thing back and they're like, whoa. What the fuck? No, that's exactly it. And I think there's days where I see something and then I go on to their page and I see, Oh my God, you live with 19 cats and you're the biggest loser and you're like telling me a bit of a stretch to say comedian. I'm like. Oh this God, it shouldn't
matter, right? But if you're really nasty about me and I go under your profile picture and I see that you're very ugly, it kind of hurts my feelings a lot less, yes. There was the guy you. Say more. No, no, I kind of go, oh, you've, you're just. Hungry. You've got your own issues. Going on? Yeah. I'd put ugly fuck. I put up a sketch. Not political, non controversial. Some guy wrote this felony shot. I looked at his picture.
He and yes I'm aware of people in class houses even more so than me. Like he was like his eyes were like he was very cross eyed, right? I have a bit of lazy. I won, I was going to the shop. They always come back to the change like yes. So two different takeaways. They're going to, yeah. His eyes were going to Bang, Bang. Bang blue eyes. But this guy was fully cross
eyed. OK and he's just said I need shot and I replied with a picture of him, screenshot a picture of him and I said well hopefully it's you taking the shot and he deleted his comment and sent me Adm just saying out of order. Stop. So his death threat, my jibe about his eyes was worse than his death. They can't fucking take it like they can give it. And I'm like, I could. There's so many times I'm like, I have the perfect response to you, but I know what's going to happen.
This scenario, you're going to screenshot that and you're going to go for me or like say. I did some really petty do a troll. I'm a bollocks like for being petty. I did something. I just remember it like this. This is this is out of order. There was a guy who years ago had been trolling a lot of stuff. I was doing personal enough kind of stuff and I was filming a thing and that they needed extras and I looked over and this guy just happened to be there. Oh my God.
How funny is this? So I said to the producer, what's mad is I went that guy has been like on at me for ages writing like pretty, like nasty enough stuff. And the guys like you want me to say to him, I was like, no, I was like, I don't care. I was like, it's just funny. We're going to be in the, he's going to be the background of
the scene. Producer goes, he doesn't necessarily need to be in it. And what do you mean he goes, I'll just like, I can just have him wait here all day and not be in it. And I was like, yeah, so they made him wait for like 8 hours unpaid. And then the producer guy was like, man, you just head on. But I just kept walking past and he was just sitting. It was in the lyric and he was just sitting on like a chair in like the hall all day, didn't say a word. That's. Wild.
That's the. Thing, if I had that kind of power, I'd I'd abuse that. So really like, I'm like, we're doing a sketch that's a copy of From Dusk Till Dawn Joe when Quentin Tarantino takes a shot off Simon Hayek's food. I'm Salma Hayek. You have to drink mayonnaise off my food. That. That's the sketch. But it is that it's it's wild when it's like personal, I'm like, fuck you. Or then, you know, wild things people say and they look at the page and it's like a wife and kids.
Yeah, like, yeah, what? Is wrong. And then the thing says be kind. I'm like, oh really? There's like a biblical quote on it. It's. Or mental health. Be kind. Yeah. Guys, I love to shoot you in the head and kill you. Yeah. But if his if his wife and kids are ugly, they will feel fine because. I'm like, yeah, really. It's like, oh geez, that could have been so much worse. Yeah, it's it's the most annoying is we fake ones where like the profile pictures a car.
At least have the balls have your fucking face on it. If you're going to call me something horrific, you have your actual identity there. That's the thing with it that I hate. And just be anonymous. Bart Simpson smoking a joint. Yeah, you know. I appreciate it when someone would like their face, their name and like their full like business. I'm like, oh far, you really hate me because you don't get. Your respect. Yeah, respect. Like far enough. Yeah, yeah.
But I remember seeing a girl on TikTok talking about someone sent her like fat shaming A really And she clicked on her page, she was a therapist and so she screenshot it and sent it to her employer and she lost her job. And I'm like. I couldn't do that. I don't think I could. I would hate like someone. No actually like get in trouble. But a funny jibe back is totally fair. But the fact she's working as a
therapist is why. I don't think I'd get a fire, but if it was my therapist, I'd stop going. My therapist was running, going like you're a fat fuck to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah on that. One that's fair though, if. Your therapist is trolling you. I think that's a good reason to leave. Yeah, I, I just, I did go to the therapist before and I went my job can stress me out and I went, he went, what's your job? I went on my stand up and he went, am I supposed to know who you are?
I was like what the fuck? But maybe you walked out too soon. Maybe he was going to flip it and go. Because if you don't know who you are, how do I know who you are? Not stayed there for like I let that hang for 10. Seconds. And then just being slight. No, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't like, I I would hate for a therapist give me too much to think about, you know, stuff
that you didn't think before. For example, I I was getting head shots done and the centre back and then I looked at a bit closer and my wife noticed she went, oh, they've taken out your mole. And I was like, all right, I won't paranoid with that before, but I am now and I'm nearly sure the turn one of my the turn this I in a bit at the even about and I was like, that's that. No, that's in my head.
But I wouldn't want to go to because I think everything's fine, but I wouldn't want to go to a therapist and they tell me it isn't. And they're like, what about that? Kind of worms like, yeah. I said before I have the astronaut helmet on. You know, in life, like you can't get in. Yeah, I just if I don't want to have a thought, it can't get in. Oh, God knows I've tried, Yeah. You just need you need to get the helmet on. No, I can fit you with.
It's not it doesn't work it. Trust me, it works. You know what, I used to have a line. I still obviously will have both about mental health, but last year or two getting to be a bit more. You get the astronaut helmet A. Bit yeah, absolutely. It makes such a difference. Not because I think I would have oftentimes felt like, sorry for myself and like, get into that loop of misery and like, not being able to get out of it.
And I think the more I've copped on a bit about like Akama, Justine, like you're not the only one going through rough stuff and trying to be a bit more like, come on, you can get through this. And comedy is a great outlet.
Yeah. For anything like that, because you can say, you can say dark stuff, OK, you can go overboard or you can present it in a way where you're like, this isn't connecting with people, but you there's nothing funny than with someone was like, I've had this thought recently and you're like, that's great yeah, to say it out loud and make a joke,
but. And also around comedy, you're around very empathetic friends who you can open up to, and when you're feeling down, you can tell them and they'll listen, right? He's bringing this up because we were driving recently in the car. What was that I was listening to? Don't know, No. Limits. No, no, no. There was nothing on the radio all right initially. And William said to me now it was a long drive and I sort of Zoom, I was just like focusing
on the road. And William said, and he was like, he's like, ah, yeah, I've just not been like, feeling too good recently. Like, just like not been having the best of thought. By the way, my hand was already on the way to do this. I turned the music, like, way up, but I was already on route to do it. And I was just buffering a bit because then I did turn it down. I was like, oh. What's wrong? No, he didn't. You didn't. We sell for two minutes and I just went. You're a dickhead. What?
Song bom bom bom. Those like things are just rough in the house at the minute. But that's what you need from a friend sometimes, you know? Yeah, you need tough love. That's not what you need. You need the opposite. No, you needed love. Yeah, I also actually, but I need a joke about it, yeah. When I want to be sad, listen to you. And also he says that the radio was on the way up. There was a solid 5 seconds pause before it just started. It was like it was this.
I'm just feeling about down at the minute. No, no, no, no, no. But you want. The problem is you can't. You couldn't see the helmet. No. I didn't want that in the helmet. Yeah, it's No one went to take the helmet off though. Shame. He is very good. I am joking. He is very. If you do need him for something, well, it's just a very funny moment. Like that time I text. You like, like tell me whatever is wrong with you and I'll do everything. I'm up. I will do, I'll listen.
I'll do everything about help. But don't let a good song be on at the same time. Yeah. There was that time I text you as like I love you, thank you forever. On the 12th of July he sent me a picture of him sitting out in Belfast with Union Jack sunglasses on and sent me a text, a picture of that and he sent me a message and said thanks for everything, love you and I thought he was trying. But the picture didn't load and so he's like mate, do you want me to come to you?
Are you alright? And then the next message just speak with like 3 WKD's a month. Cry for help because I've been to therapist though. Have you ever had that where they look at their watch? Like that's not. Good. I'm like, oh, like a meeting with a producer. Or something. You're pitching the idea of your life, like, yeah, definitely has this good arc, yeah. I paid for this like.
You were saying, though, didn't you have the belt where you're like you said you went to therapy, but it was like it was too cheap it. Was like a pound an hour. Yeah, it's nice Pound, Yeah. It's not enough. That's just on Groupon or something I've. Never. His office was in the Holy Land. The student area, but OK, yeah, you don't want rock the boat going on when you're like, oh, just my childhood wasn't great. Yeah, sitting, talking to therapist.
He's a traffic cone his. Head jersey like. Brutal. That's the one who went to me is like, am I supposed to know who you are? I'm like, no, but your office is supposed to have walls. Like what the fuck is this? Is it awful? And that's the only time I've went to the therapist. So in my head, that's what therapy is. Well, don't. Judge him on him. Which saying that, I did comedy as well. And then they're like, Oh well, so tell me a joke.
I'm like, you're having a laugh. And I was like, I don't really think that'd be what I want to. Do they do the thing where they're like, what's this? No, I've always wanted that. Rorschach test. I've always wanted that. Isn't a Rorschach test Rorschach? Yeah. Yes, maybe it's just in. Movies. No. Maybe it's just the movies, you know? Yeah, I know, because I've always seen that. Do you lie on a coat like a She's long? No, it's just a chair. I wouldn't I?
Don't know what you had, probably a bean bag. I don't empty create a cards Berg. So if they did that, like what do you thought we rush our test and like, what would you say? I would just be like N Berkeley crazy. Yes, that would be the only thing I say that. Works for everyone, yeah. He's done listening. He's done. Cee Lo Green, Yeah. Is he? Yeah, what happened? Don't know something? Oh yeah, I remember. I'm not get into it, but I remember what he tweeted. Something really mental.
Just an Irish comic. Who? Belfast Live Cee Lo Green Multiple number heads number number hits. Number one hits who? Yeah, Never heard of them. Yeah, yeah. But they can't, they help us really. Entertainment. Yeah, I'll tell you this one after because I'm not saying it, but it's just when you have a beautiful, it's like sometimes I'd love to roast battle some of the people that have sent me comments. Yeah. Like I have lists of ones that I could send back. Have you?
Ever done a roast bottle? Yeah, what? Did you think of it, the whole experience of it? I think you have to be able like, I'd never do it again unless it was like someone that I was really close with to be like, you know, we know each other and we're friends. I just. Remember that we're friends. We kind of like, I knew the stuff that he was going to go for, maybe mental health and disorders and stuff. So I had kind of written comebacks to those in my head as
well. Yes. And but I had then also. Yeah, it was a. That was a fun one, but I would be 1 and done with it. Exactly the same with me. I loved it. We don't want for Williams birthday. Loved it, would never do it again. Yeah, I adore them. I was like, but that's a great I can look back and go. I did that. We had a great time. Everyone's friends after it was the right tone. So I don't want to do it again, not enjoy it, and then I'll go ahead and like it. No. And because as well I won.
So I'd like to, you know, leave with the victory and I don't need to do that again. I fucking adore them because I think, I think it's the fat kid and me mentally has. I've. Roasts for everyone I've ever met. Because I'm expecting it to come my way, yes. But I just really enjoy. It yeah and if someone's like really plate and like just playfully erosion and you're like, you've got this anger and you're like you need to like because you're prepared for like
war and they're just. Like shoes your mas dad, How's that? That's Myanmar. I fucking idea like. They are actually nice shoes. They're. Dirty though. That's all right. Now I need to get them cleaned. Yeah. Do you know get those shoes? What a weird question. But a valid one put. Them in the put them in the washing machine. That's controversial people give off but. I do it and they get a bit damaged but. I often know. Not that often. I think you do, and you didn't mean to say it.
And every day you're putting your shoes in a washing machine. They're. Always wet. It's so annoying but I bought a hat in once and it destroyed my house. Destroyed it and it was my favourite hat. She doesn't take them off. Don't. Yeah, never take it off to find out. Yeah, you'll never know. Yeah, I did this podcast 3 weeks ago. You gave me a hot and I've wore a hot every day since. It's just I hate my face, my hair, so it just hides both.
And I want to be a hot guy. Just seemed like I would love to be a hot guy. Here's the issue. That's it. OK. Yeah, Yeah, I see. Yeah, I see what you mean. I feel like The Avengers are going to come through that door any minute now. It weirdly as well as given like because. You want to meet them as your last wish. Yeah. You look like you look like your forehead, so. It's maybe like a papal athlete range as well, like if the Pope
had his. Yes, I'm not feeling when you said like something about athlete range, I was like, yeah, like like an NBA player or something doing like a Oh, right. Your forehead looks huge in that it's because it's sitting. On your head, like your therapist now. Yeah, no, but because it's sitting on your head, so it's not properly down there, you have better. That's better. It's like he's the. Fucking conductor in The Polar Express there. How is this?
I'd actually go out to. It's better, sorry. I'd search it. Yeah, Wagwan. You feel a little bit more alright. Your grandma's coming through again. Yeah. You feel a little bit more aggressive when you've caught one, don't you? Yeah, you take steroids? Yeah. Do you do do not feel? It don't know if I do. I feel like you want to go through fireworks at old people or something. Like I feel like I'm more here as a token female now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's good to have you zone. We have one on every month. Yeah. Yeah, we do our bit here. We have you on yeah, feminine products and toilets. Yeah, women's football. Don't watch it but more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be the best in the world ever played it, but no for ladies. For ladies, it does. You seem very like you play golf. You do play golf though, right? No. Do you not? No, don't know why that surprises me. I either look like. You play golf or tennis?
Yeah, with that now I could see as a golfer. But not used to back in the day but. What's your hand bigger than mine? That's weird. Don't know. I thought I'd be the big hit. You definitely are big hitters. Yeah, I mean, look, I give a time. I don't think the hat is right. No, it's not right, but maybe Beanie? I've got a couple in Primark, a couple of caps and Primark last week and I went.
These are actually a nice fit. I have a weird shaped head and it's more the standard hats don't fit my head, don't suit my head. Have you ever done a shoot where they had to meet? Like that costume didn't fit your head? Oh. I would hit. No, I would hit that. I couldn't do it. I'd have the back out of whatever it is. I couldn't come back from that. Do you audition for a lot of stuff? I just didn't audition for the I'm terrible at auditions.
We well, it's funny, I've been doing self tips a bit now. Yeah, they're soul destroying and I think they go into this void that never exists. I don't know how many of those tapes actually get watched. Using like just before you die you're going to get or hell, maybe it's just you get played on a loop or yourself tapes. Tapes as what I find like I could spend a day doing 25 of them and I was out of 10. I picked one of the 1st 2 that I took.
It's actually ridiculous when first one of the 1st 2 like, oh really? Yeah, yeah. No, it's got better. I think I'm, I think I go the opposite. I lose my mind you. Think you overtake it and then you you look like you're active, look like you're acting. I think I'm like, oh, it's just that one little thing I need to fix in the next take. And then while fixing that thing, I've forgotten about all
the other things. Yeah. When you were saying when you you feel it, all the tapes have went in to avoid having been on the other side where you're the one watching the tapes and picking something. 100% my mind. We Willy Weinstein. Yeah, running through the town, yeah, seems so much more. And if you call Wee Willie Wines, then there's. A hard drive out there somewhere. Yeah, yeah.
But you said no to your credit because Willie made a show for Channel 4 and loads of our friends and local actors edition for it. But you. None of our friends got in. Yeah, but you didn't. You could have. Fucking shit. You could have sent those tapes around or you know, where do you see this and that, but you didn't. No, but but I. Also could have picked any of you, and I didn't know you didn't, but I could have picked some of our friends and I didn't.
Yeah. Well, that'd be hard if you can. Only if there's only one part and all your friends are going for it. I would find that very different. Parts do you know what I do you know I had was awful. I addition for a thing a couple of months ago and it was in the Clayton Hotel in Belfast. Walk in to do it. There's the produce like an in. What I was going to say, yeah, that's a difference. I went in, they went. Listen, they went, we'll run
this a lot of times, OK? You're comfortable that we'll try a few different things, run the lines once they went. Thanks a lot. No, see, that's. Not I used to think that was a good thing, being like a nail it yeah, you're like see if you've done it 8 times that means. You're really I used to leave every see whatever you the minimum amount of time you had to be in an exam hall was Yeah, I'd leave on that button and go. Nailed it.
Yeah, Oh. No, if it was you have an hour and a half, but you can leave after half an hour. After half an hour I'd be like, we're going to poison away. Because I used to think when you did an audition and if you had to do something 7 or 8 times, you're like, I'm not getting it right. What that is, is they're going. Can you take direction? Here's the rate. Yes, that's exactly. See if they go once, they go you, you're not even in the ballpark about this character is. Yeah, yeah.
Awful. Because that's what I've never done. I often gotten to do a lot of in person, yeah, which is where I think I'd be able to be better to be like, I can't take directions anytime I do stuff. I think it's far better. You know, honestly, because like even I did sketches with like follow my hog and stuff that they were saying you. I was just talking about that
earlier because that was great. But they like they were saying they're like, you take directions so well that I'm like, I just need someone to physically see me audition because these tapes don't get seen. Because yes, realistically, there's probably a few names already in the mix anyway. And they're not going to my name is bottom of that list that they're coming to. So that's the problem. Because I'd love to do more. I, I, I love seeing comedians do act.
And because it's just, I think comedians make class actors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So many examples of it and I think sometimes they can be pigeonholed and pigeon holed into like comedic role, but I think there's. Yeah, what's your like? What will be your number one passion? Is it like is it stand up? Is a sketchmaking act in. I suppose like I started out making short films when I was 11, so I was always doing comedy sketches and film, but it was me acting in them as well.
So that's the thing I've, I'm most comfortable doing because I've joined the longest as opposed to stand up. Like I do enjoy stand up, but I go through bouts of I'll do it intensively and then I'll come away from it because I don't have the same love for it that I do for. Which I think, by the way, is like better than just doing it for the sake of it. I think so because I end up getting very down when I do that for too long.
And then, you know, you're down doing a gig like in Sligo and in a hotel on your own and I'm like, Oh no, I might jump now. So like I need to realise that. When the fuck head comes back from for me, yeah. 11 at night. Like if I could climb up on that wall, I would. Yeah. I can't. Run away from my problem, just having to wait for a foodie. Yeah, no. Who alone in hotels? That's been like the crisps you're gonna find. Demons come in.
You're gonna find me one day OD Don't like something vinegar? Pringles. What do? We to go though. Oh. That's how I want to die. Right #1 hotel snack. Give me the brand, give me what it is. So I'll give you hypothetical gonna get in Sligo. We're in the get back the hotel. It's half nine. It was an early start. I arranged up. I love it's half nine production team come in a runner. He goes more fire. Guy says I can get out of the
party get you whatever you want. So don't just thank Ireland you're talking about having to go to Sainsbury's first you any anything around the world. So if it's an American snack, whatever it is, then get you what will it? Be. 11 snack, one drink. If you've got the answer, give me it, because. She's Doritos big bag. Yep, and a Coke. Coca-Cola Original Coca-Cola bottle. Yep, glass bottle. Won't glass bowl could give you a litre and a half.
Oh. Yeah, but the glass bottle, give me a six pack of the little glass bottles. They're into the nicest ones because they still have all the food sugar in them. OK, from. Mexico. Yes, Mexican coconut. Like I did that when I was staying in Dubai. I, you know, I splashed out, got a nice hotel, right? And the the walls were all like fully white. Nice white. When I was done with them the
way. Cleaner earn the money there, but I came in one night and had like a big family bag of Doritos. I must have fallen asleep like I was eating them as I was walking into the room blacked out. Woke up. The elevator snack guy way to the. Door closes before they opened. Them I couldn't even that night I was hammered and I blacked out and just woke up with like cheese Doritos everywhere. The white crisp white linen bed sheets just covered origin ham prints. It looked like I'd beaten the
fuck out of something. Beloopers in my room there was just cheese Doritos everywhere. Yeah, I'm not smelly snack. I yeah, I'm going to go. I'm going to go like cookies. I'm going to go like milk chocolate cookies. No, like subway type cookies but smaller. Do you ever get them the heat, the micro, or the cookies in the oven? Oh, the toaster cookies for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Subway. Yep, I'm going. To go Oh my God, I'm.
Going to go a big bag of cookies and my drink will be Doctor Pepper. Wow, I respect you so much because that was I. I grew up obsessed for Doctor Pepper. And me too. I used to have a can, a can, or the bottle. Doctor Pepper. Every single day. Yeah, every day. And I would sing the song all the time because I had no friends really, so I was just singing to. Myself, I should do a show of
some sort. I don't know what it is, but it's Doctor Pepper. That makes I'm delighted with that because it's not that often, but now. Good idea for sketch. Go on 94 sketch, it's set in that. What age? You just need 30. 1. Right. It's set in the early naughties. Right. You're in it. OK, you, you, you. Can. Cast it as well, you pervert, right. So it's it's all the key, all the key at lunchtime, all the kids in the school or college or whatever have Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola, right?
And they're loving it. And they're like, you know, giving each other the nod and like cheers. And they kept the cans. And you and I are weird kids in two different corners of the canteen. And we're sitting there just sipping on a Doctor Pepper, and we make eye contact. And it's just a really sad, like, you're not across. Yeah. Thumbs up. And. Yep. It's a short film. I can see it's a feature. It's a feature. That's a Where's Anderson movie. I love the build up for an hour
and a half. Just for that, just for a nod, that nod, just a mutual nod. And then we could beat up, you know, then there's like a tray on on its way to our face. Just as the nod. Yes, very moving actually. I get to play the jog because that's my natural role, obviously. Yeah. What would you be cut if they were like casting for like Freaks and Geeks? You know, that started to show like a high school. What do you think you would viewed as play casting agent? I've know what I would play so
well. Like a guy who wears sleeveless denim jacket and he's fuming constantly. Yes. That's I play so well. Why I order yeah all the time if. Joe Pesci could do it like that's I'm a wee Joe Pesci. I could play that kind of kind of. Character The jocks hold you at arms length while you're swinging punches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's 100% what I would play and everything. What about you? What would you play?
I would be on the like American football team, but only because my dad is the Dean of the school. I can see it. I can see that. Not American football team, but the. Cross. Oh yeah, like a really decky sport, but you think it's cross rolling, like you're captain of the volleyball team, something like that. It's. Kind of cool by boys. Yeah, if we're going by things that aren't cool, it's the. Coolest No. When's the cross? Rolling or something like that is a bit more, yeah.
No, Rowan's cooler than volleyball, the arms and the back strengthening for that. Nah, volleyballs. An impressive, incredibly tough sport. Volleyball players have the life like they're on the beach. On the beach, barbecues, Yeah. Sandals Dr. Pepper Lady and. You have to do this a lot like that. Would be then someone just did the spike. What about you? Who would you play? See, I like I I was a nerd. I was the biggest nerd in school. Yeah. Umm, so I could probably lean into that.
But I mean, you I think categorise me quite well of this. Kind of like, yeah, recess. That makes me feel nasty now. No, not at all. Forget my words have impact. No, it's because I'm in the hats. Yeah. But here's here's the arc go. On. One day one of the like popular girls is like in the like at lunch, grabs your account of Doctor Pepper by mistake, doesn't realise sepsit and she's like and then everyone starts drinking it so you're like you got everyone into it.
I know here I could play one of the popular girls, ugly mate. Nor brother her. Brother, Yeah. He got held back a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to be an ugly mate. You're an ugly mate who got held back here all. Right. OK, I'm stupid and ugly. Yeah. I can play. That yeah, yeah. Yeah, double down, double down. Love it. Umm. Are you, are you, are you up here gigging anytime soon? Are you doing anything? Well, I think I waiting. I think it was confirmed today.
Exclusive in there. What is it? No, I won't say exclusive, but we did play in Edinburgh last year for the Fringe the full month and we're doing 2 week, possibly three-week run of it in Pleasants in London now in May. So that was fun because it was kind of like theatre because it was again, I wanted to do more like act and stuff and it can we. Please go and sit like this. Please do, I would love that. I'll be That would be great.
The opening, it's about insults, so it's quite dark comedy and it was kind of nice in that sense because I was like, OK, it's a bit of comedy. It's about a topic that we've all fucking encountered on the Internet, so it was a bit cathartic. Yeah, you and I do feel bad for the guys cast and though, because the one comment people kept saying they're like perfectly cast. We need a William. Thomas these.
Guys all look like himself, say. Whatever you've done to get into character for this, whatever costume you already, he's like, no, I haven't. My jumper. I'm I'm here to see it. I'm not in this. But yes, we're doing because basically he runs pleasant game season Edinburgh and loved it and was like, I'd love to give this a run of it. So it's it's funny as well. It's a funny play. It's dark and I get to cry in it as well. So it was kind of getting to do you have to really. Yeah.
So it was fun. Did you have to do any research into in sales for it? Yeah, and I didn't realise how much research and things. I didn't realise it's so dark. Yeah, so fucking. Sometimes I feel bad for them and then that's the thing. And then I hear them speak and I'm like, I get it. There's no because actually what happened was people came to the play and one guy came up after saying I used to be an insult and like that's how we got out of it. And a girl then once was like I
dated an insult. I didn't realise that till after and then I discovered all his online stuff. He was, it was wild. But but yeah, so that's happening in May. I'd love to see that and sales fascinate me. Like just high mental. There. It was so hard in Edinburgh though, because people like all Irish comedy will come to that now in the opening like 10 minutes they must roar contour slot at me on loop for like hard sell to a 70 year old woman. I'm like. I just have my head.
Just Dougal from Father Ted. But just like with a horrendous Reddit account, sure, she's a slut herself, Ted. Father Todd. Yeah, me back with the name bag Justine, like people probably know your clips, but the Instagram, all that kind of thing. Just just Justine Stafford. Justine Stafford underscore on Instagram. You know what kills me more? I had the original and then I said, oh, Instagram is not going to take off. And I deleted it. And in that time another Justine Stafford came along.
But anyway, Justine Stafford underscore on Instagram and then Twitter. Justine Stafford and then TikTok. Yeah, Justine Stafford comedy on TikTok. Well, I tell you, want to plug some tour dates? Yes, from the 21st to 23rd of March I will be in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Liverpool. Edinburgh and Glasgow are nearly so loud, so please come to those. Liverpool is not, Please come to that. I do.
Want to Blackpool? No. No. No, the cast of The Hills Have Eyes will not have me. Shintocomedy.com for my When will this go down? First week of March last. Wednesday. Oh my America shows a couple set Canada sound great, thank you Canada. Some of the America shows not good, but we'll have a good time anyway. That's the worst one, if you don't mind me asking. For the amount of capacity that's been there and the amount that I've sold before San Francisco, we need help, OK, we need.
Love, I'd have a great time. San Francisco. I can't. I'm on a stag. Yeah, but only for a couple of days. Come to the rest. I can't, Willy. Shorts. I can't. William. My funds cannot do I. Choose Doritos. San Francisco, like a very calm, vibrant city, yeah. OK. Fuck. It is Blackpool on acid. Oh. I love. That, oh, Speaking of, must have heard us. There's Steve Elliott. You look like he's dressed like he's going to San Francisco. Guys, thank you very much for
listening to watching this pod. Justin, Willy, thanks a lot.