Zippers, welcome to this episode of the Team with Me podcast. With me, she and Todd, not just any episode, episode 300 of the Team with Me podcast. They said we never do it. They said we wouldn't do it and here we are down long. We've been doing this nonsense for five years, five years next month, five years, 300 episodes. I know. Well. Done, boys. Look before we get into this episode I'm keeping I'm keeping it short for the 300 episodes. I'm keeping this short.
I'm saying we're doing the SSC arena team with me live on the 23rd 23rd of May All right, the IT know that it's a new year on Patreon. You'll see the live episodes within the waterfront. Tall. I was going to wet your whistle right. That was that was the apparent TF does that come first? Yeah, this is the main course. Get ready for a big bit of beef. Course, you've only one tooth. No main Course we've imperative that's chewable unless you're having soup as a main, but who
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Thanks to Monster for the support in 2024 and coming into 2025. Patreon.com/T with me, podcast, whatever. You're coming into. Here's what you got to look forward to this year. Coming up in the first quarter of this year for the first quarter, the two live Waterfront Hall podcasts, stars in Your Eyes from the Officer Hall and all the stuff that we do every week. Pedro on the Concert TV podcast. Links in the description folks, please enjoy this episode of the
TSP Podcast with my guests. One of the most confrontational episodes that we have ever done with my my guest, the brilliant Andrew Ryan and the very brilliant Colin Murphy. Please enjoy this episode. Andrew was in a mood for your amusement. Cheers. Are you working over Christmas every fucking day? Your Christmas Day, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day since Steven's day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, the whole
Christmas man. The only time I have off is Saturday and Sunday. Nobody's listening. Double the listenership in 18 months. Christmas. Morning, we're all by the way. Just a second, do you listen? You don't listen. This man's working more than. You listening to what? BBC Radio 3 or 4. Listening to my family enjoying themselves and I'm listening to them having fun saying thank you. For that, well, you weren't very positive. We're talking about your kids last night. I can.
Tell it's all the lonely people. You weren't talking positively, but you were asked me to get the tickets for Arsenal last night. That's not fucking gone. Oh, it's very expensive to get Arsenal. So I know someone again not come in here and say no one's listened. Double the listenership, double the listenership in a year and have been offered another contract. You're then asking me can I come in and promote my tour?
You asked me last night can you come in and promote my tour and now you're saying no one listens. Why the fuck do you want to come on a radio show when no one listens More listeners than Two FM anyway? How are you anyway? I. Wouldn't have asked know that you were on Christmas. Day I'm on Christmas Day, 7 to 10 live man. I'm the only one. I'm not doing pre records. We're we're doing a live night. Is it just you? No, it's me and Amy. Collars off. He's 4 kids. We're giving him a break.
He's open presents. But I'm feeling good about it. Yeah, yeah. I'm not a Christmas guy, so I don't. Know the perfect person. No, but it's like, you know, I play a few extra songs. I hope you all get what you want, you know? Yeah. Happy Christmas. Today's a good day to tell your family what you think of them. But Andrew, for some people, you will be the only person they hear Christmas Day. You'll be you'll be there is somebody in their house? Yeah, there is.
People like that, you know, and, you know, so it's important. Like radio and TV is important for people on Christmas Day, you know, So, yeah, it's a shame they're going to have to start with me. Yeah, but they, they can obviously change station. So. But, you know, we do all right. Like, you know, it is what it's very. We're doing very well, Colin. Like I think I'm not. Saying a lot.
It's just, I don't know, apart from the people who really are alone on Christmas Day, who's listening to the why. Don't you tune in, call it on Christmas Day and see what the vibe is like. We, we, we talk very positively. We talk about people who are working on the day, the staff, people in hospitals, people who have gone through a difficult year. We also talk to celebrating the kids and be very quite respectful and we do a lot of shout outs and. The phone in.
No, no, I don't speak to. I don't want to speak to them. I know you give all this, but don't. Don't talk to them. No, every phone caller we get on the radio is pre recorded. It's always a minute behind the phone. Yeah, Judge you. Couldn't trust the people here on the phone because what do you do? Stuck out our Dick. I'm just. You know, couple couple of little hangovers here. Well, hints of a hangover. I didn't drink something. Oh. OK. We did the blame game last
night. Yeah, I did the radio version last night. It was my first time doing that and he. Didn't know he thought it was the TV I. Thought it was the TV. Did you get dressed up and everything? I bought a shirt, Yeah, but I think a lot of the audience thought it was the TV as well. I mean, I thought I did OK. I did very good. I did. I was. I was. Everyone, I was being the dealer last night.
Everyone said you did great. Yeah, I was a little bit out of my comfort zone in terms of being topical and you know, you only get the news stories a couple of days beforehand and stuff. So it is a little bit different for me. It's not the normal kind of stuff that I do. I thought I held my own fine. I didn't think I looked out of place. I probably looking back and they could have contributed a little
bit more. In some areas one or two little bits didn't work as well as, but I think overall you would I wouldn't have looked out of place. I've never had punditry. We were on the same team, we were on the same. Team 100% yeah, Moving forward to not really bringing it up and pushing from the back. If they scar 1, you need to scar. One and then that's 2. Can I ask you something? Have you had like worked on to your dimples? I know you've always had dimples, but you've never been
more dimply. Yeah, I'm very dimly at the moment. Why? Why is that? Is that a seasonal thing? About my mood. Right. It's about the stress in my muscles, in my face, because, you know, having dimples as a disability. I think it's chips. It's a lack of muscle growth, disability. It's a you. Can get a DLA car. You got to know I can do, I can do the Olympics. You mean Paralympics? Yeah, you mean the Paralympics? Yeah, I could do Paralympics. It's a lack of yours abroad. My event, Yeah.
Admin spreadsheet. Promoting my radio Promoting my radio breakfast show to non believers. Yeah, here's the wheelchair. My my lazy man's getting the gold medal on Microsoft Excel. Yeah, I love that. But yeah, my last name was fun. My nipples. Yeah, last name. Was your nipples. Didn't ask you about your nipples. You said your nipples. Do you realise you said that? Don't say. Difference. Yeah, yeah. My, my difference, yeah. I didn't say nipples. My nipples are big at the
moment. You know when you get cold, they go hard or don't? Yeah. Well, not that. You know what I mean? It's great to be here. It's good to be here. Like starter buttons on a JCB? Yeah. Very good. But yeah, you had a good time last night. You were you. Yes. But you're do you call it at the right time? None better than when you wake up and you last night called it at the right time.
No, I yeah, There was a moment when I was in a bar and it's one of those you're having a pain, you're thinking, oh, hold on. Yeah. And yeah, but yeah, a slight. Oh, it's having cocktails. Don't normally do that. What sort of cocktail? I was having espresso martini. Oh. Colin, you call you Lisburn Road or something? What are you? Yeah. Very nice. Or road or something. Espresso Martina. Yeah, yeah. You like it was everyone. It was like kind of cocktail night like Tim and.
Me and Rigsi, Yeah, that was it. Yeah, Yeah. That's a fairly showbiz thing to walk past you you and rigs you on the cocktail. His idea? Pen wouldn't be a cocktail man. No rigs. He puts an umbrella in a pint of Guinness. Yeah. Thinks he's mad for the crack. Yeah, he's mad for the. Crack. I am he. Was texting the half it this morning like about clips. Oh fucking no. I am and I've got it before we go on with the pod, right? I've got AI got to confess something do and you're going to
fucking lose your mind. Like you will lose your mind. So you've done something to me, Yeah. A long time ago. Have you learned this fest recently? Recently. Alright. Let me very quickly interrupt this episode of TSP Podcast to tell you the we are sponsored by none other the Nord VPN, the number one in the virtual private network game. I've always said that you can put hearsay on Nord VPN. First of all, you aren't asked me what AVPN is. It's a virtual private network.
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Take Me podcast. I don't want to say anything. Thank you. So me and Andrew went to Europe and we're going to talk about that. I want to talk to you about different European cities on this episode and stuff. Get you get your take on some places. So me and Andrew going with Andrew, everything worked perfect, didn't it? Travel. Charge. Oh no. No. To the. Not as bad as you think with travel and stuff because so many people go. Is he a nightmare to? Clean the simulator, The stairs.
Did you go on that one? He said, he said every night when we're doing the gig, I would say as we're leaving the venue, I go, what time do we need to be in the lobby in the morning? And he actually, you would imagine he goes way too early to the airport. Andy Ryan will give you 45 minutes post security. He will give you 45 minutes of browsing time and get yourself a coffee or a sandwich or something. So I've got to say he knows his times.
He knows the airports. He called that, he said Berlin airport, he goes, we're going to leave a bit more time. Don't really like the security there. And he was right. He was right. So everything worked out great and we'd had a bit of, I'd had a bit of travel chaos come back from Dubai. You also you left your laptop on the plane which isn't like you as well, so. Business class. Why are you so nervous? You panicked? I've never seen anyone trying to impress someone.
So you. Brought your laptop so you look like a businessman. I'm doing business. I said to the guy beside me and will he walk past Indigo and said the economy and I said I part of the shoulder of the guy so. Use were in. Economy. We were in economy. No, basically we were in Dubai and I was saying a couple of days into the trip I said lads business is only 600, like if I upgrade I just have to pay £600 or more more. Yeah, yeah. But I thought I'd never done
business before. I don't premium economy. But that's nothing like right. And I thought and Shane and Willie were like, do it a little treat. You've had a good year. Yeah, you have a little treat. I'm back pace in the hotel room and like I'm doing it. And I bought it £600. And I'll tell you, once you go business, you never go back. I am telling you. We'll we'll put a picture in. I'll send you this was We'll put a picture in. The experience of experiences,
it is phenomenal. I walked past them and it was like, you know, in a home Alone, too, when he's in New York. I walked past Andrew. He'd been, he'd probably got on the plane 15 minutes ahead of us. You talk about someone making the most of it and getting every penny out of that 600. He had, by the way, we're in Dubai. He had a blanket wrapped the whole way around them, just up to his neck. He like, I guarantee there's no way he tucked himself in. You must ask him do that for you.
He was tucked in. He how did we handle it like this? Champagne, glass of orange juice, little champagne glass of orange juice. He had like some snacks out in front of him and he was beaming and we walked past him and I patted the shoulder, the guy beside him because you're in like A2, someone beside you. And I patted shoulder guy beside you. And I said, mate, I don't know who you are, but God love you because I give it 20 minutes and he'll start talking to you.
And then we walk fast, and we talked. For two hours, but we waited to the end of the flight to talk and he it fair. So he knew who we all work because when you came on he was like he I've seen you know when the hour comedian he was like all right, He worked in aeroplane sales. He was a he least air aircraft that he did Europe in the Middle East. He worked for some Airbus or something. Like that, his pitch, was he like, do you like this plane? Yeah, yeah, but he was brilliant.
He was. No, he was a gentleman. He was from a County Limerick and he was a lovely fella. We chatted for ages and yeah, we follow me on Instagram and all that like so. I did first class to 1st from Hong Kong to London. Is it was it, was it like were you doing like a corporate or were you sent? No, I got bumped because Virgin used to sponsor the gig in Hong Kong, right? And the other act that was out with me got bumped on the way out, right? You got. Bumped into it and I got bumped
on the way back. How did you feel when he got bumped on the way out? Did you? We understand forever. You feel like why I. Was in a premier economy on the way out so I thought this is. You're delighted with that, Yeah. What did you think of first class? I've obviously never done it. Well, it was. Before the port, before the individual pods. Not quite a lie Flat, but nearly, yeah. What year we talked? Oh, 2001. After 911, Yep. Excellent.
Things would have changed and. Yeah, very serious. If it was pre 911, oh we've been more. Loose. Oh, but yeah, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. More. Fun like. Yeah, yeah. You'll be going to the could be allowed to hoppers and things. Into the cockpit, bring knives on to The Hoppers. Sniff. No. What is this confession? Right. What I'm saying is everything worked out great because in Dubai I left my back in the airport. Oh man. Got on the plane with I did my
laptop and my car keys. Mall, but the embassies are involved now. The. Embassies are involved and the UAE and the Irish Embassy speaking to each other about this. You're going things are basically. They're going to end up in gaol. I thought my your. Man's just got back from. We we got back and we landed and Andrew was in business. So he met us at Baggage Carousel
and he, we were very lucky. He spoke to us, the business class man, and then he spoke to me and me and economy Willie, and he said economy Willie, he said. Listen. That's you had something for? Pleasure in yourself if you get out of Poundland. The Poundland vibrator. Economy, Willie. He said isn't business was amazing. I said yeah, I left my bag in the airport and then Andrew went fuck, I left my laptop on the plane. He went and got it and came back and I'd driven us to Dublin
Airport from my house. His car was at my house and he said well look, at least you have your car keys. I said actually just thinking a bit of funny you mentioned that. I don't they're in the bag. So we had to get an Uber from the airport to my house. Half the price of his business flight. Or a boss. Why did you get an Uber? Why did you look at the? Boss would just I needed to get home. I just I just. Car was at his house so I just
throw him off then like right. So as long as you get home. Anyway, chaos, Chaos, chaos. Now that now the hold up is I have and I my driving licence is in my wallet in the bag and because there's an ID they won't give it to my friend and the buyer didn't release the bag so she can send it home. There's ID so she could technically steal my identity. The embassies are involved. OK, I'm going to the top. Which embassies? The UAE Embassy and the Irish Embassy. They're not getting on very well
at the moment because. Well this is going to either bring them together or the straw that breaks camels back. They're not, they don't. Not getting on at the moment. There's issues between the two embassies and countries. Yeah, you you've heard the news. Is he is he the reason no Israel of left so Ireland Dublin. This is it, my bag. They were like, this is the last thing.
That you're talking to UAE Israelis what the no so UAE won't put won't the rest and then put him on a plane back to you know behind it if they do the port I'm just give his bag yeah to the new. Airport and meet him kill two birds with one. Stone yeah, he could be there in the cops. Could you imagine that is going wrong, guys? Hi, I'm Shane Todd. Nice to meet you. Here's my driving licence. Anyway, go on. Let's see his patron.
Fausty beep a lot. So anyway, anyway, this time me and Andrew just went to Barcelona, Brussels and Berlin from my tour and we got back to my house. Travel went brilliant, everything was smooth. We'd record a bonus podcast in my car on the way back and that was that was grand. Got that done, Get to my house, my kids run out, I go away we go. Here he is, he's back, Andrew said to me as I left the car. Have you got everything? And what did I say, Andrew? Yeah. And did I have everything?
No. I thanked Andrew, got my bag, went into the house and I realised I've left my phone in Andrew's car. And I walked the road like. He's 10 minutes away, 15 minutes away and I had to, but I had to ring. You didn't have signal. Whatever, whatever happened. Oh, I didn't have my phone. That's why I can ring. It was in your car. I did get my wife to phone Andrew's fiance, but then phone Andrew. Andrew comes back and I know he's not happy. He's not happy at having to do
this. Comes back, Andrew goes. I've searched everywhere in my car. Your phone is not there. What's going on here? I was like, man, it is. I walk closer to his car, the phone not. Bear in mind, I don't have to tell you this, but I'm telling you this out of respect. You I have figured this out. Give me your theory. You had the phone but you had to pretend it was in the car to justify me coming back, you absolute fucking rat. So. You did a whole place.
You did what you fucking did. I looked at him in the car. There's no phone. He went in and placed the phone in the. Car. I didn't see it I. Planted it and the planted. What happened was I walked towards Andrew's car. My big son goes, my 4 year old son goes instead of your phones, there it was on the ground. I dropped it on the way from Andrew's car into the house. And I went, oh, yeah, you should be quiet though. And then I took it. He's in a flop. Show me all different panels of
his car. Keep the phone behind my back. I put it under the seat and and I went, oh, here it is. Andrew and I, he looked everywhere and I could see him get annoyed at himself that he hadn't find it. And I was like, don't worry about him. And I was like, thanks very much. You tell me not to worry about you planting a phone and we care and I lost 20 minutes of a day. You're a fucking disaster man. Why did you ring your Oh my God, I don't understand.
What do you mean? What when you couldn't find your phone but he knew it was in his car or he thought it was in his car. Battery was dead. How are you? How do you live? How do you live? You are the most disorganised on I can't like. We're at two different levels of the scale. I'm on. I'm Champions League. Your conference. Yeah. Like, I don't understand.
I can't believe you. I was called back when from when Stacy rang Julie to when I arrived in your house was 10 minutes within that 10 minute gap. When was the phone found? The phone wasn't fine till I was walking to your car so. As I pulled in, yes, so you see me coming in, you walk out, you go oh God, and you quickly think up of I can't tell him I had the phone all the time.
And then I had that dilemma. I go, do I just tell him and go, sorry, mate, here's the phone, or do I make you feel like I needed you to come back? And then my other thought was, you know, this will be a good clip. What I'd have done is I'd have picked it up right as he's driving in and gone. But then I thought he'd be reagent. Oh, I mean and. Then go back in the house. Let him do. Because you went to stop. Yeah. You'll get an invoice for petrol. I can't. I can't you've.
Been more annoyed if I had found it as you were driving. In can I just say something based on experience of travelling you? We've been away twice, right? First of all, here's here's some feedback on you right when you get this. Right, right. So it's like I just sent you. Shane is very easy to travel with. OK right? He likes to go off and wander right #2 is very solutions based. OK. So you'll see it he creates problems for himself and then he
finds easy solutions. But I'm saying but you wouldn't. Give me an example. What does that mean? Like like I offered you a like a given example, like you'll arrive in a country and you come out and he's just like, we could get nice, get taxi and I will, you know the train could only be €5 or could be €3540 in a taxi taxi. That's the solution to the problem, right? I go with. I am paying it. He's paying. Throw money at it. Right. It's just throw money at the
problem. But then there's times where it's like you could eradicate the problem. So like, for example, if you're a kid, like turn up on time, like you've missed loads of flights in the past, haven't you like to turn up earlier, man? Like for example, we went to Dubai. I said to him two days before Dubai, which car package book? Which car package book? Is it the red car park? Was it the blue car park which is in a different country? Is it the one the red 1 you have
to get the bus in? Are you in the green one? Anyway? Nothing. What? Sorry, hold on. You said you had old New York Jew. I said to walk. I said to. Walk a pre book and nothing Andrew. Hey, car park. He said he hadn't booked the car park, so I said to him, but what are you going to do with the car then? And he goes, I'll just drive it into the airport. That's what he said. I'll just drive it into the airport and I'll go into one of the car parks. They're like the closest one.
By the way, a very pre 911 attitude from me. Right. And I in my head is do not know on the news every so often Dublin car parks are all full. It's massively overpopulated. So we're driving down to Dublin. I'm thinking, and I'm thinking this fellow's not getting a car park space because he. Hasn't all you're thinking, only thinking. So he eventually arrives in and it's like €20 a day. Is it €40 a day?
Well, OK, I'm, I'm saying, you know, you really dropped me out by bringing this up. But what is it? Whatever, 20, whatever. I had to go back and eventually get my car because my keys weren't. A grand. No one here. 200. No, no, it's one in between but. 5. I gave I gave an Oscar winning performance to the guy on the intercom. Little discount. Big discount. Good. What did you tell? Patron, I, you know, we give it the whole, you know, you should have done this.
You should, should you not have done that? Yes, Mr, you know that. Yeah. I should have gone with you on that call. I should have gone down with you for that. So got out of it OK, we're OK. That's fine but my point is like I don't understand The problem there is you're overpaying so your solution is I'll just pay it. Whereas if you pre booked a car park you'd have saved yourself even more money. So what you're doing is like, if you're not planning ahead, that's creating issues down the
line. I feel like I'm in a family dispute here and somebody's dad is telling the but. But easy to travel. Very easy to travel. Too easy, but usually he he, he said. Is this weird in Berlin, Man United match 1/2 five and Andrew went, we'll watch it. We'll watch it at my laptop, come into the come to my room. We'll watch a match. We get there and then Andrews, like, do you mind if I sleep?
And I was like, yeah, it's fine. So I'm sitting at the edge of the bed on his seat and then the laptop one for the game. And then I just watched him sleep for about 70 minutes. That's where it isn't. That's very weird. That's where that's creepy to go. He like he makes comedians what you wanted to. Watch the match. I just got a bit of tiredness like and I just went, I'm in the bed. I trust them. What to not doing anything do you? Know not to not take anything.
I know he's down a laptop on a wallet. So, you know, he could have, I trusted him and like, you know, and I woke up, I went to sleep at half time and I woke up at like 83 minutes past. And then we literally had to leave it in 2 minutes, 83 minutes past the game and then as we left the school. The game 83 minutes past. The game 83 minutes. This is my first language. I'd like to pre book some car parts. Excellent. When you come back in the 23rd. What time? 83 minutes past, the game will
be back. Right. It was 83 minutes calling the game, so I said go into your room there and get ready for the gig, right? So. So that's a go in there. I need to get ready so to do me tea and all that right, I did morning breath, morning breath after we sleep like right. So he goes off anywhere he puts on his his T-shirt right that he wears for. The guy was wearing one. Right, so I. Just the idea of him in the bed, snuggled up you topless. What you watching the game?
But he didn't take his. Rubbish out of the room. Sleeping Beauty here. Waking. Up. I had to put the rubbish back in the bag. OK, what rubbish, what rubbish. No, right, OK. He didn't pay for it but like. I got us a new bridge, I got us a lot of tacos and stuff. But the tacos were delivered. We had them and Andrew and Andrew's room, OK. Lovely. So it's not up to me to take my share of the rubbish away with me if it's all one and breed just firing in one bag in your
room. I went and got it outside and brought it in, you know? But that was the deal. The deal? What, like you came into my room? Yeah. You leave the room as you see it when you enter. No. OK. Not true. Well, I got rid of the rubbish anyway, right? And we put that in the bin. Put it in the bin. All right, taking the Robins out of your room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I put it in the bin. Yeah. Outside in the corridor, like by this lifts, there was a big well, I don't want that satellite.
Thing in your. Room and then that was it. Then we went to the gig and we had a great gig. And where was? This time Berlin need a brilliant time. We went Barcelona, Brussels, Berlin. Where were you playing and? Barcelona, the clubhouse, which is like. Unbelievable. The club take a very Edinburgh Fringe type basement venue. Comedy club. Yep, comedy club really good. Yeah, I played there once. Not, not, not place, but I played in Barcelona and Madrid.
Barcelona was brilliant. Yeah, Brussels. Brussels is great. Where did you? Play in Brussels. With an early Late Show and they were brilliant. Yeah, in an Irish. Bar called the Black Fiddler, Black sheep, Black sheep fiddler, Fiddler of the sheep or something. Like that? The Fiddler of the Sheep in an Irish bar. And it was. The gigs were. The gigs were. Great. The gigs were brilliant. Berlin was like a fringe venue, but Brussels is a city. It was freezing over there, grey.
It was raining the whole time. Maybe we were just in the wrong part of town. He don't like Brussels and I'm not sure what are we missing. Brussels, I'm kind of off. What are we missing? I like Brussels. And I don't know, I just, I just, I've been there like four or five times, got off 13. 1000. There's a gig in a theatre there, so everything goes to it. They all work in the EU and they. 13,000 hours. So, but this was brilliant because you're playing too, so there'll be like the Spanish.
Yeah, yeah. Contingent would be there, the Italians would be there. But it's been there. And it was brilliant, absolutely. Brilliant. I haven't done that. Now I've done a few little clubs like 80 seaters, 100 seaters, but I haven't done like a big theatre there. It's easy to get, you know, it's very European, but I don't know, I just. We're going to mention no names, but Andrew once told me about a show Rep.
We'll keep us vague. Told me about like a show Rep based in a city and then like told me months ago. And then we got the one on these shows and it was the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Andrew told me about this crazy guy who like promote shows and like imagine that you don't want to meet this guy was that was the Rep but but Brussels I don't like the show is great. There is loads Irish people there but I felt like there was none to go and like do your see?
Yeah, we spoke to a few people that were there from Newry and they were saying like, they're there. What? What's wrong with that Newry? Just like who we're going to ask. I know two boys in Newry who hit everything that isn't in Newry. But I get like, I need these people to come and make up the numbers of the show. But you get so many people who are over from here for a weekend somewhere.
Yeah, and come see me. And I'm almost going like, please don't like, for your own sake, go and explore the city. They're like, no, we're going to the hours. We're drinking in the Irish bar all day, then your show at night time. I mean, it's great for me, but for them I'm like, yeah, you know, you don't need to come, you know? Yeah, there's the. I didn't go to it. It's the big, what's it called, the Tom tone or something? That's the. Oh, me and Karen with the big metal thing.
Yeah, I think, yeah. See, when you see a, there's a lot of things, I think seeing a picture of it is the same because you if somebody going to imagine yourself, well, you can imagine yourself up at the thing. OK. Do you know what I mean? I've never been to the pyramids in Egypt. Yeah, but you've seen them enough. But I'm, you know, I can see myself there, and I you. Don't need to go. I don't need to go. Yeah, I'd still go. Yeah, be enthusiastic about it. Like, yeah. I'd go.
I could see them see the the but what they call the mammal, not the mammals. What about the mammals? The mummies? Mummies. Mammals. The mummies. The mummies. The mummies not mammals. The mummies. They're wrapped in toilet paper, not. Toilet. But they're wrapped in Cafferty, whatever the Egyptian Is it the Air Lords or what's it called? Air Utah? What are they fair us? Fair us. Let's break out this quiz night. The Air Lord, Sorry the. Mammals and the Air Lord wrapped in Gafferton.
I know. I think it was something Coco told me about. I don't. Know the mammals and the Air Lord sounds like the last two in the local Battle of the Bands. Yeah, episode of Doctor Who. We went. We went to Berlin. Yeah, Lords, the Lords of the air. I'm a ride. Yeah, we went to Berlin, which I loved her. I love Berlin. But you know, what can I just say, you gave me a really good tip, actually. You went around the city.
We, we, we arrived in Berlin and we both went and did our own thing to their own 6:00 or something, right. And I went for a walk. I went down to Checkpoint Charlie. I've been there before. I'd seen this rights grant and then, you know, East and West. See the weird history? Yeah, East and West coming together, right. And Shane gave me a good idea. He said he went through and listened to a podcast about Berlin while he was walking number a good idea.
And I've been to Berlin a couple of times and every time I go there, I always, the last two times I've come away, I've gone, yeah, I'd live here. Like, yeah, same here, live here. I would totally live here. But this time I don't know. So we everyone I spoke to was like, when the weather is nice here, it's a totally different city. Yeah, I think it's the winds are great. I was there was cold, freezing. That's exactly what I wanted. Really. Yeah. That's how I see Berlin in my
head. Do you think going to like a lot of World War 2 commemorations and all sort of thing, Do you think it's almost like disrespectful to be there and like shorts and a nice lolly sort of thing? Yeah, kind of. What? The real experience you want to feel like. I see you know. Argus. Grew up in Cold War, so that whole, you know, spy thing is so interesting that that's the most of it I find more interesting all the spy stuff. I love all that, right? Cold War stuff if you. Could be a Nazi.
Colin, if you could be alive. I am. But if you could be alive and. That's the shittiest businessman of all time. Yeah, yeah. If I could help, if I could make you be alive. I already have. No, exactly €50. If, if you could be alive in any period of time in the past that you were experienced, so, for example, would you have liked to have been there when the Berlin Wall fell? Would you have liked to have been in New York when 911 happened? Would you have like sorry? Sorry. Sorry.
Who? Who would want that? Yeah. No, I'm just saying that. But you still survived it like. Yeah, but you're still you're no one's walking out. I go. Whoa, yeah, I made it. Like, I'd love to have done the 1916 race. I'd love to have been in that time just to see what it was like, No. No, but I understand. And shapes your history. I understand more examples you're going to give after this, Yes. Why do you think it would be? Why high on your options list is would you like to have witnessed
9/11? No, what I'm saying is it's not like, oh, I want to be there because it's it's it's a horrific thing to have happened. But what I'm saying is, is that like there's moments in time in our life where things happen. For example, in the fall of the burden one was a massive thing for East and West, things like 911. Things like where where you would have seen the error in Manhattan. No, but these are moments in
time that will stick. JFK assassination, the 1960 rising and you know, the Tiananmen Square in China, things that. But all the ones, all those, the German square, Berlin Wall and 9/11, they were all on telly. Yes, I understand 16. I understand that. Yeah. You know, that's Roy Keane Saipan. You know which I'd like to have been in the hotel. Hell of a range, but you don't like being there. Tonight. Riverdance made his debut at Eurovision in Mill Street.
Watch that and telly as. Well, yeah, but my colleagues are achievable. When you're talking about Berlin and you see Berlin and the spies in the water, would you like if you could be, you could be there, but you could be invisible and you could just witness this and things have Oh my God, I'm watching history in front of me. What were they? What was it like? What was the what was people feeling like?
Look at the wall falling and the people from East Berlin coming together with western, the miscommunication with the Eastern Germany government and and the town. They could have free travel. When they told me that it was immediately when it shouldn't have been immediately. You could be there but be invisible to see see history actually happened. Do you know what this is like? Yeah. You ever have a sleepover when you're younger and you just want to get the sleep?
Yeah, a lot of the kids is just still going for too much coke and you're like, yeah, I really need to get a sleep here. Like you know you should have that. Last Mars bar Yeah, you're. Invisible. You're invisible. Would you would you like to be like, would you have liked to have been at the corner flag when Man United won the Champions League in 1999? One source got put it in like. Give me a plan.
Might be a sporting type thing. Yeah, I would probably like to have seen a bit of the the Wild West or something. OK, Cowboys in India. Like, like, OK, you just get to be there for an afternoon and nothing dramatic happens. Yeah, you, you're safe to be safe there. But you can't be killed. Yeah, you can't be killed. You're safe. No one sees you. You're invisible, but you're in. I don't want to have to be
invisible. It's up to you, but if you're not invisible, there's an option you can get hurt because they'll see you like. Yeah, they'll see you. They'll go. So I'm dressed like this. You could. Be whatever you want you get you get teleported back to that day of anytime in history and you just observe history, but you're in the moment, you know. What it's actually like right now, it's like. This is a good question. It's like someone's gone. What would you like to do, Colin?
He wants a sport. And I like Tudor time that you know. Could be Tudor time, Yeah, see all that. So yeah, King Henry the Eighth the. Walk the walk around. The yard to go, all that sort of thing. See what yeah, yeah. Or really, life was like. Maybe even like. Smelly, I would reckon, yeah. I might even like to just walk around here around Hollywood. Really. Yeah, that's the height of your. Ambition but in like this the the 1500s or. Something. Oh yeah, I mean not much here.
Like 15 hundreds. Well, when whenever it started, I'd like to be there it. Started somebody went yeah for suit session call this holy would. I don't know, I'd like to like, I'd like to see like, you know, real olden times, maybe not even a specific, just like generally in a city or a time. General olden times, yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Which century? 17th, 18th. Like 17th. 17th century is good. Something like 17th century but
you just be run the bike down. Yeah, it'd be like killing then. No, it would have been quite rough back then. But would you not think of God? Right? I'm going to go back and then, you know, and like that movie The where everyone forgets The Beatles songs. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So would you not go back and make a fortune? Don't go back too far. But then you'll, man, I don't know if you see back the future, you're going to mess with it because he had the Almac, you know? Almanack.
Yeah, he had the Almac and Almac too. But you then you start messing with things. You mess with the future. Maybe the future is and that I'm minted. The Roman Empire. Yeah. Go to Rome. The Coliseum? No, to see all that. No, no, no, no, I'm not in that. What about if, like Michelangelo's paint, the Sistine Chapel? Born. It would have been so hard to watch him watching. PNW good and go is a fire on ball or what like and you can like move the dial of any messes
it up you like. What would you like to go and go and see? I'd like to be on the 1st aeroplane that ever flew. With the Wright brothers. Yeah, and they flew over it only went for a couple an hour. So I don't know what didn't even go for an hour. I don't ever been 5 minutes. OK, maybe the second or third I'd like to baby beat on the 1st aeroplane or the 1st jumbo jet or the 1st, something like that. Like, I like you from Concord because I'm not picking. That was my ultimate history
thing. But that was new flight from London, New York, and what, three and three, 3 1/2 hours. Yeah, how was that? I'd love to go on the moon. I'd love to have done. Go on the moon. Here we'll do a crowdfunder we'll send you. I'd love to go. You can go. I'd love to go on the mood. I'd love to have maybe done that, you know, one small step firm. Well, you were going to be the actual you're going to one small step for man, you know, for a boy from Cork, it's amazing.
But you know what? I mean up here just criticising. I'd say I would like to be in a place or. Listen to Q 10. No, it's Q Radio. I would have I'd like to do something that involves a the fall of regimes. You're on the something that always looks like loads of fun. The day they overturn, the day they overturn, it looks like it's cool crap. Here we've been looting, but a little bit of the trainers, like get some trainers. Yep, Yep, Yep.
Like you see the weird stuff that people lifted though in Iraq when the. Saddam Hussein went down. Yeah, there was a boy running down the street with a fan, you know, like a big like legging it with this fan going, oh, when your family say this. Do you remember when they pulled the main statue? And yeah, but it was so aesthetically unpleasant because it didn't properly come. Back sort of way it got. Stuck at the last bit. That's so annoying they're. Slapping them with the shoe and
all. Yeah, yeah. When If North Korea ever falls to the South Koreans, I'd go over. Right. Would you? Oh yeah, you reckon, you people? Got what? I've been to the DMZ, I've been into North Korea, I've been to the Demilitarised Zone. So I've looked. I've been there. I've been to. Not in North Korea. I've been in the demilitarised on the DMZ, so I was. I've been to South Korea twice, Seoul twice and China. I've done a lot, I've done a lot, right?
What was that? What was the the military zone like that? Right. So basically does, I think it's a couple of kilometres. What was your business or just checking just tourists he got very passionate about, he said. When North Korea falls to South Korea, very specific so. And you've done a few Rackies, no? No. So I've been there twice, right? So what I did was I brought. Up a lot of peace, done all the stats. For my SO, I did a bit of research on the Korean War many
years ago, right? For a prop for uni. No, just just just researched. You mean you wash? Just from MASH, No, just from your knowledge, like, and the war is still active, like it's still an active war even though, even though they're not fighting, Yeah. Those boys are, they're not chilling. Yeah, no, but there's a place between North and South, it's called a DMZ. It's a demilitarised zone, right? And you'll see it never would. You what this is like being in the rest is history.
You know, when Trump crossed over and you have to deal with Egypt, you have the two blue houses, the little caravans or not the caravans and huts and stuff, right? Example. So what you do is I'm in Seoul.
We paid for this excursion. You hand over your passport, you get brought right up into it and you go right up and you look into North Korea and they built a fake town, a fake city to prove to the South Koreans that they're thriving and their flagpole has to be taller than the South Korea flagpole. Their soldiers have to be their tallest soldiers and all that. It's eerie. It's completely eerie. And I. Was like, do you actually see
North Koreans? Yeah, You can see the people in the distance, though I couldn't get down to the actual place where you, the guards are facing each other like like 20 feet apart. We were just back up. We were. You have to have like, there's a hot the cross. Yeah, it's hot that they actually go in and talk. Yeah. And that's the kind of like neutral zone to talk. And you have to like 7 days notice you have to pay the 200. Grid I think a line across the table. Yeah. Oh yeah.
It's crazy. That's where the one is, the all the documents there to be signed. There's stuff there. Yeah, he's. The thing and there's. Something signed this. They're just basically during a ceasefire, but it's not ended right, Right. I can kick off at any time. They're sort of still who goes first. Pure over blinks first. We're fucking going to go like, but now the North Korean soldiers are fucking in Russia. They're fucking in Russia. No, no, I imagine.
Listen, it's none of my business what to do. Well, allegedly that's this is what happened that because their access to the Internet, they don't get it. They. Don't get in their. Loving us the landed in Russia was the first thing they did. Someone one of them looked. Monster All Ireland final 19. 99 Google Ted said. He's like, there's no way that works. Oh fuck yeah. Yeah, so there's North Korean soldiers in Russia all getting friendly with Putin. It's all kick it off there.
And we don't know what's going to happen. So that's another place where that could Syria's just gone. Something's gonna. I think something could happen the next 5-7 years. It's a taste of this. You're sure? You're going to do in Christmas Day. This could be your last Christmas. Here is Taylor Swift. Let's shake it off. You missed the opportunity. This could be your last Christmas, and so is this.
Why don't you come in, Colin, but you don't listen there if you want to sell your fucking tour off. Starts in the 24th of January in Bellamena. I would I would love love the gross choice career I'd like. Use Gigster. There's a massive Irish community, they're all teaching English. It's massive to do. The Teflon teaching course did well. Teflon. The Teflon teaching course. Teflon TEFL. Sorry. You learn it, but it doesn't stick. I do worry about the problem.
I do. I do worry about my speech sometimes. But. Yeah, at least you're a radio DJ. Yeah. I'm good. I know it's scramble. People, people, you know, it's different. Yeah, I would. I would. I would love to, I'd love to go. I'd love to do. South Korea may better, but Japan? Yeah, I did China and I stayed in a hostel in the workers football stadium. I went in 2002. So what? I was my brother. Why were you just lying low in 2002? We mean the friends went. Yes, you're in America. Before.
Hold on a second. I'll give you this. I'll give you a story. My brother's friend went over to Japan and Korea for the World Cup in 2002, All right? And he came home and he said to me, brother, it's good crack over there, Let's go over. For you, I said sorry, said that to your brother or he's all Cogan brother. So my brother's friend Michael went to support the Republic of Ireland in Japan and Korea, came home after whatever four or five
weeks, says to my brother. Listen, I've just been in Korea. Good crack. You have to teach them jobs. Do you fancy it? So my brother when he did the Teflon tell on course course right? So my brother did the. Ten lady course. My brother, my brother Emma, my brother Emma and his friend went out and got jobs teaching in Seoul, right? And when they were out there, Michael met a girl and they had a baby. And Michael is still out there to this day, right? But my brother came back after a
year and a half. But in that year and a half, I went to visit him and when I Michael. Or your brother. Michael right. And my brother, they were friends like yeah. So So what happened is I went out to visit my brother and obviously no new Michaels. We were all hanging out. We went to the to the races, the sole races and they were a few nights out and blah blah. 2002, pre social media, pre flip flones, you know, Nokias and all that great time.
Fell in love with the people and came back and in the following year me and my friends went that will be tagged in a week in China. I went to China for the week and we did the Great Wall born. Yeah. Ah, wasted. Yeah, I can see that shake. Like yeah, just the wall. Yeah, big wall. No. It is a big. Wasn't that it wasn't that big with the bit. The bit we were on one big, no bigger than my own garden wall. It was brought. The Mongolians are attacking it like. Yeah, Oh yeah, they don't.
How can you build it from? How can you see it from space? There's different areas are bigger like. I know, but. Do you see everything from space? If you have a good enough camera in theory. But China now, it's tough going, like, yeah, tough spot to go. Big, big, different. Big culture shock there, you know. Yeah. I like China, China about poverty and just, you know, walking in the street. I don't. Know that offended you but.
There was some tough, no, there was some tough scenes, you know, poor children and stuff and then his height of money and I don't know, it's just a bit tough. Contrast. Yeah, I went to, I went to Tiananmen Square and went to the gardens. What are the gardens called? Yeah. The big garden or the gardens in China called the big gardens all the the. Yeah, Chinese. Garden the Chinese gardens. Yeah. And that the food was good. The food was good. The Chinese food was good.
I liked it now. I'll be having some of the Chinese food tonight. Yeah, it was good. I enjoyed it. But listen how you recommend go to China with you could do it in Asian Asia tour, you know. Barcelona was brilliant because it was 13° from were there and we had a bit of top off top off before the show and is it not for dinner after the top? Is it? Though how is it not that? Because that F thing is only in, I can't remember whether it's in it's a Catalonia or in Peoples.
Yeah, it's different or. We were in Catalonia and. Then we we were for a dinner after the show, but all the all the European rules were early, so we were having dinner like half at night. I was pretty old on. Glass of red wine and everything. Yeah, it's beautiful. Walk back to. Barcelona is brilliant. Barcelona. Unbelievable. Yeah, no. Not for common. Yeah, I went through in summary and it was all touristy. Yeah, yeah. It's very touristy about you, but it's a lot of things.
Yeah. But if you go out to the suburbs, you know, you go to where like where we were performing in Berlin. No, I actually thought we were in East Berlin, but actually we were in West Berlin. That area that we were in, like it was very suburb. He was that suburban like. So it was good. It was good. It was good. Nice area like. What is both your favourite European cities? Oh. I've to Ghent. Ghent, Yeah, In the Netherlands. No. Belgium, Belgium. Belgium. What?
What's good about what? Small and it's just gorgeous. It's like, it's beautiful. It's just still, it's not a big city like it's, it's just, it's cute, cute. Where else? European, so I'm a massive fan. I do like Vienna. Never been. It's it could be a bit stale, bit lacklustre sometimes. Steal and lacklustre. Doesn't get out of third gear sometimes, but you make over what you what you were like. I always say you can go to a five star hotel Colin, can't you
with the wrong people. Let's have a craft time. You can go to a one star hotel with the right people, have a great time. That makes no sense. What's your favourite pencil? I like Berlin and Paris. We went to Paris on this tour. I only see the very touristy parts of Paris. I think I've been three times and I only see that I only have it.
I went for football twice and then this time for the gig and it's literally walks down the Champs, Elise and then the gig and that's it. Instead of a couple of friends that live there. So there's probably like, that's probably like going to New York and just in Times Square, you know, I need to go and actually see proper bits of it. Can I just say I'll never go Paris again? Why? What happened? I've done, I went for a few days and I've had enough.
It's just not it's it's I can't get on board with them. In what sense? They just. What are they trying to get you on? Board with just very on. They're called, they're called, they're unusable, unusable. Like you can't really get involved with them. They're just too a bit flappy with them. They. Don't want you? Yeah, I just, I just found it very like, I don't really think I'd fit in here. I don't fit and feel very welcoming. Yes, yeah. It was just kind of like we
walked in to get some wine. I said, oh, look, I know nothing about why can you just recommend like a Merlot? Well, but how much you know, rather than OK, no problem. You know, it was very like, well, well, I don't know what you I'm like, all right. Fucking hell. The tour Rep at the Paris showing, in fairness, might have been the same guy. We may. Well, he walked in more. It's a lovely venue. It's like we'll remind you of the Edinburgh Fringe.
He went OK, I said, yeah, just it's a brilliant vent. Like this is perfect, like low ceiling, he said. I said we have some food with us. Could is there a fork? Would there be a fork anywhere in the building anywhere like do you think anywhere there might be? Like is there like a staff kitchen? I was like, I'll leave it back, I'll clean. No fork. OK, Left the venue at the end of show. Thanks very much, man. Really appreciate it. That's cool. That's the French. No, no, no, no. Joe, what?
I'm giving a go. I don't know if you've done it. I'm going to be. I'm going to go to Birdo Bordeaux. Bordeaux in France. I'm given that one to go. Birdo Bordeaux. Bordeaux. Yeah. Bordeaux. I mean, Jude what? Bordeaux. Bordeaux. Bordeaux. Bordeaux. I've got it's going to Mordor. It's gone. It's bottom left, anywhere right? Me and Jude, have you been Stockholm? No, I price Stockholm for two, for three nights for me and Julian March, and I'm going to give Sweden a go.
Have you done Sweden? No, don't spend on Finland quite a few times. Yeah, Do you know the fee? Former Prime Minister of Finland, Santa Marin? Yes, she's good looking. That's why you're going. Which is not in the power anymore. I follow her on Instagram. That's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. Mean I'm going to be a fight for coffees. I am I want to do. Follow any other world leaders. Solinsky. He's busy. Kim Jong Un sent him a DM, they say hello next time.
Went all the way there for you in the blistering call for four hours. Thumbs up not. Today, No, Let's say I like, I like, I like it when you see young, young men and women like in their late 20s and early turties get involved in politics, you know what I mean? And stuff like. Do you seem like a sort of guy would send like professional footballers, like Premier League football DMS before a game saying like have a good one? I don't, I do it to rugby players.
You do genuinely you're saying like. I've messaged Robin first. Say Johnny Sexton before a Six Nations game. You're saying the DM? Yeah, all the best, he's replied as well, actually, before. You don't need just tell me what he said. I don't. I believe you. Really nice to meet you. I met him at the night often here. But no, no Johnny Sexton has replied to Adm No can I? Sorry can I apologise? Johnny Sexton DM D me first and I'll show you if I have some. Signal her to pay the bills here.
What did you mean? I was doing an event and he was on Oh You. Were talking about last night. Yeah, I was doing an event and he was on and he's a lot bigger in real life. And you? Didn't think that rugby player. No, but like from the TV? Like from the TV? Not that it's. Loading and there's no the Wi-Fi is connected on second turn and who else? Who else have IDM D? I'll tell you now, who are there you go now look 325,000 followers. OK? No, he didn't reply to my last message, right?
But that's fine. Why? What did you What did you block? There you go, first message Johnny Sexton direct to me. Good to meet you last night. Sorry, didn't get a chance to chat properly. Cheers. And I when you 2 man was a laugh. I'm sure we'll bump into you again sometime. You had a good night, right? And then I messaged him. That's that's a long. He was promoting his book and I offered him an opportunity on the radio show to come in and promote his book. OK. All right, Colin.
He didn't reply. He. Didn't reply. He's busy promoting it and I've messaged who has my message? Tiger Woods. To say what? Just just give me a favour. You know what I tend to do? I tend to message the caddies of the golfers rather because that that gets closer to the to the golf. What, so that mid while they're walking between holes ago, the caddies don't? The caddies don't get a message from Andre, he says. Bend your knee a bit more. I've messaged.
You know who replied to me once? Well I feel the Ulster rugby boys, they always reply. I might even go for a drink with them if they invite me out and then they. Invite you out. Yeah, I would hang out with some of the Ulster lads if they. Wanted. They wanted them to. Yeah, Hey, DM Tiger Woods. I would I would have dinner with you if you're if you're up for I
would. Yeah, I've messaged. I sent one to James Dean. You know the actor 1950s and someone him, but he would have quite for dinner if he was alive. You're like this sort of guy is in like a forum for like soap fans of where to meet King Bengal. You're like, this is where he
has lunch you. Know who's who's somebody that you obviously I know you wouldn't do it, but who do you really admire in life that you would love to have a coffee with away from comedy, but skinny somebody shame that you would really admire that would be a little bit off off field that we might not think somebody you'd like to have an offer. On Larry David. Really. That's good. Yeah, Larry David. Yeah, but that's comedy related. Yeah, give me some differently
related. Give me some that's non comedy. Radical who? Would you I would go David Hockney a past David Hockney in street in painter in London. Last time I was over and he was passed me he was at a wheelchair because he's very old and his nursing assistant was winded down the street. First time I've been the property like with my kids. And the nurse was really nice because he saw me getting flustered about this. And so I was pointing down the street after and what?
And the nurse sort of smiled and I went, and he leaned in and told him. And you know. Said that's lovely. Was somebody that really, you know, Yeah. And so I'd like to have, yeah. I met my one of my favourite golfers in Dubai to remember. Daddy got so nervous. Oh man, we're in Dubai Mall. It was just me and Shane. Willie T had gone off to do something else. And Eddie Pepperell is an English golfer. I don't know. Eddie Pepper was, he's on the Challenge Tour at the moment.
He's on the DP Tour and we're in Dubai and a lot of the golfers will be based in Dubai because they're links to the Asia Tour and also the European Tour. It's a good location, right? Yeah, whatever. And I'm not commenting on that. And Eddie Pepper was walking past me and I just went to share. There's Eddie Pepper. I said who? And then he walked past me and I just went for it and I went, hey he. Did he did. How close was he when you started? One foot.
And Eddie Turner, you could see his shoulders gone and I went, hi mate, you're really funny and all the best. I love your golf. Understand. Was it? And just walked away. You're really funny. He is a very funny guy. All right, OK. I read his blogs and I read his blogs and stuff for a while and he's very funny on telly and he's good interview and he's just seems like a top lad.
For maybe Mugabe like, like somebody like that, just to pick his brain and be like, imagine over coffee being like, what do you like? What's with all the killing? Yeah, I just be like, fuck him for a penny. Like, you know, wow, you know, just go for it. Like just to get inside his mind and be like, come on, Robert, what are you doing? Do you know what I'd say? Be great crack if you get him on a good day. Barack Obama. Boring. Do you think he'd be bored and boring?
I don't think so. I think he'd be. I think he'd be. He does a podcast. I think he'd be like, he'd be like, yeah, I think he'd be like, too smooth, you know, too. I don't. He's not giving me any dirt. You know, I want to Polish like, yeah, if I want to war leader. I think he'd be a really nice guy. But you know, you reckon. Mugabe will be a bit more crack. I'm not saying that. I just think he'd be more like here, listen this shit, you know what are you here? I woke up in a bad mood to the
whole village. Got it. Yeah. Kind of thing. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know. I'd be a footballer for me probably, but I'm trying not to give that kind of answer. I. Was in Uganda and I was in a restaurant was doing Uganda. I was making a we filmed for charity, Charity. And the fixer was with us and he said you see that woman in the tables were sitting basically rehearsing and he said that's one of Idi Amin's daughters. And like, you didn't mean
proper, you know, like. He's a boy. Legally cannibalised a few people, yeah, and that's Idi Amin's daughter and I grew up 70s. Watch this in the telly. Apparently loads of kids like 40 or 50 kids, but that was. There's, there's a video of Idi Amin and some of his like, you know, inner circle and they're in a swimming pool, like at a mansion and they're doing swimming races. He's making them do swimming races. And he's like.
Really out of shape and they all like jacked soldier army guys and they're all like, oh, you've won and he's like got an awful form for a stroke and he wins every race. Oh my God, Oh, you would it's great BA and he can't talk. He you know, few boys. I don't, I reckon he looks like he try and beat him. He looks like guy who'd volunteer to get eaten and then freak out at the last minute.
You would get into, if you would get into a rabbit hole with cannibalism and you look like a sort of guy who would respond to your cannibals out and be like, yeah, yeah. Well, like, see what this is all about? Yes. Like a man a few years ago. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. I haven't done a lot of African history now, so I don't really know. Knows the guy is in Belgium or somewhere. Germany. Yeah, Germany. And they had his cock together, Yeah. This guy volunteered, went to this guy's house.
And he cooked him his car. And they had a day that did he alive between them. They're still alive today. Well, I don't know what happened here, man. I don't know. Wait, what? Where are you in your life when that's a good idea? I think we'll move away. From this like where, where, Where do you go? What are you doing today? Yeah, yeah, I'm bored. Yeah. Hear me out on this one. It is. No, I like. So Berlin. What do you go and see in Berlin, by the way?
Carmalism desire him. Him. Yeah. This is what I'm saying. This is how are you going? Nice to me last night. I am. In Berlin I went to the did you go to the spy museum? And there was a spy museum and there was a Museum of East Germany, which was brilliant. All I did was really good. I didn't have enough time to go to actual museums and things, so I put in a podcast. But the history of Berlin, hopped on a wee Lime scooter and then popped around all the way places they were talking about,
which was great. So they're like my own sort of guided tour that's good. I had. I went to the McDonald's Checkpoint Charlie. It's one of the best McDonald's I've ever been to in my life. Surely they're all the same and they're not. You go to, you think that, then you go to this one. Unbelievable. What was so brilliant? The big win. I'm sitting in a big window at the front that's clean. It's a nice store.
I just got chips and you're just sit at the window and just look at Checkpoint Charlie and just eating chips. That's where like, you know, communism and capitalism meet. Like I walk past the one last night I was a Primark and it was bombed and cops all over the place and it's a bit sort of Checkpoint Charlie there isn't. It yeah, it has like full vouchers at McDonald's. I'll be No, I wouldn't. It's a sad state of affairs when you live in a place where
takeaway food needs security. Yeah, like that's a sad. Hold on the Central and O'Connell St. In Donald. Yes, has full time security. Daytime. Yeah, yeah. Yes. I don't understand how people aren't able to go just function daily and get get through their lives. Yeah, like it's, it's people have a tough, it's tough for people like, but what? Are you doing join us on Queue Radio? Happy Christmas. It's just like this tough goal.
Like what are you doing today? If shot like hope everyone gets on you know? Andrew, our. Is your. Is your tour new? Your tour isn't done. You're. No matter break. And when you started?
I start again in Alma in the middle of January and I've got Alma Opera House in Belfast. Two nights in Strabane, first night solo at the Alley, second one is nearly doing really well and then I'm back over to England, Leicester Square Theatre, Brighton, Guildford, Liverpool, Manchester, another one in Glasgow and in Leeds. So Andrew and comedy.com finishes on the 2nd of March and then I am not performing for six months. You told me Leeds is great, great city. Leeds is a great city.
Leeds is a lovely city. Leeds and England. Yorkshire. You highly recommend York for me to York, yeah, no Yorkshire. York. Oh, reminds me of Ghent in Belgium. Lovely little cutie. Yeah, yeah. Cute and it's all New York. Roman is always kind of built in. It's it's York and Ghent are two great places. Do you collect? Those wee cottages, you know those. He seemed like a man that would like those wee things little. Souvenir. Yeah, little, little. Trinkets. Cottages.
No ceramic things. No, I just like thinking about it and stuff. Yeah. OK. You're neuters about to start. You tour, Yeah, it's Murphy Buku. No French in it and just like a pun. And it starts 24th of January in Bulamina. And then Strabane not sold out. And where am I then? Everywhere. Yeah, yeah, Portaferry everywhere. And weird places like Livid Valley. We'll put links to. Dot colinmurphy.com. Parley, Parley Frosty. Parley Frosty. We call that in test.
Party No. We come see comes in Petit no. Jeep Jeep Petit Petit Francais. Just be baguette. Yeah. Jumbo. I. Am sure. Can I ask you, are you finished now? Are you done? Derry was Derry last night. Best shorter? Lenny, man. Bear sure the tour and I don't know whether it was for this reason move the back in our forward now. Can I just say something? Can I just say something? And I think you'll agree with me and I think, I hope you will agree with me. My next tour 6:00 Do as many
shows as I can at six. Even weekdays. Thursday night 7:00 start. Get him out by 9. I think the punters would like them, yeah. The best shows I've done on my tour 4:30 in the stands, you know going on go on around weekends, go on around 5 eh OK Thursday nights go on around 7:00. I am telling you know that is the future and people can finish at 8:00 and this. Is the club night that happens now in in the Telegraph and it starts at. 6 and finishes in nine. Yeah.
Oh, is this you over 36? Like. 5 or something that goes on until nine, yeah. I'm telling the future, it's the future. I think I'm going to do that, yeah. I'm going to become the six o'clock 7:00 comedian that's I'm going to people going after. It Yeah. Oh, I have a full night. Or you or you've been early morning. Or you're not waking up hungover and it's so much better than coming out and also as well as you're getting them. Hopefully when they get to the gig, you're their first drink.
Yeah. And they're not coming to the gig with four or five pints in them. But I got to say, I kept saying or not saying on this tour I was like, I don't believe in. I was like, I don't want to jinx it, but every audience has been brilliant and so well behaved and great for the support act And then and I kept going, this will be the one where it goes wrong. Then Derry, last night, I'm going, you know, people probably finished work maybe that day for Christmas.
So, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is their Christmas night out. Unbelievable. Must say you're audience SSE were Yeah, what do you know, experience really. Do you? Know what I feel like the they go and see comedy a lot and they know that they just, they go and they they're like, we'll relax and just watch the show. Because I've been to a couple of gigs that already like gigs in massive rooms and but the other ones have been to have been hecklers.
Yeah, yeah. And you're thinking, what is the point of heckling in an 8000 seater? You know what I mean? Yeah, Yeah. And you've just been an arse. And so I was expecting that and then went out and. No, I knew they were. Lovely. Yep. Yep. No saying you you couldn't get a better crowd to stuff or at that. Man, it was an absolute wonderful experience. Delighted I've done. A highlight of my year really. It was. It was, it was. So only now am I really thinking about it.
I did that and then the very next night, so it wasn't very next night was the American bar, 4040 people. Yet we're probably packed. My dad was a boat. He was, he was. I told him to, you know, everyone to come along, let me know, and he didn't. I know he pays him. I went to, I went throughout to Shane's dad's house. Oh, did you? Yeah. You got a tour. He wanted to collect my inhaler before he. Went on his inhaler for the boy he forgets. Andrew lives around the corner. There's.
A lot of things. But yeah, she went into the house and. And then he went, can I show you around? And I went, all right. And then he, you know, his kitchen, right? 20 years old. He's never turned on the dishwasher. Is that his TV's from 2002? This is all information I collected I didn't need. This he watches by hand. Old school, Yeah. Lovely house as well. Very nice house. Please move in just for the material for the me and Dennis.
Yeah, we'll put both links for the tours in in the description to me live at the SSC on in May. What date down guess? I'd guess the 23rd correct 20 we. Gave away tickets this morning and for that on the radio. Did you? We gave away 2 tickets this morning we got. We didn't sign this off. Whoa. At the PR guy we gave away 2 tickets to SSC. We had hundreds of entries for it and we gave away 2 tickets and we gave A2 plugs this morning on the radio station that you don't listen to.
I would have come on. Now you're in all the time, but you know what I mean. I can do it for you as well. Yeah, it could be busy like. Closer to timeline. Thank you very much. Cheers. Happy New Year.