EPISODE 7 - Cabin in the Woods

just cue the radio. Okay, hey, thanks for letting me crash here annual glamping Extravaganza. The more the merrier. You don't think your friends will mind, right, No, not at all. I think they'll actually be pleasantly surprised. Well, look, I do have a few questions. First, one, okay, are your friends white, because I have seen it out and I'm not trying to have a brain transplant. And two are we sleeping in the same time because you know, like

if there will be bears, I just want to be protected. Okay, Okay, Well one, no, don't worry you and your brain will be safe. Okay, and too we'll all be sleeping in a cabin, so you'll have lots of people to protect you. Wonderful. Oh, we should probably stop and get some gas. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we should pull off at this exit right now because Google says there's only yes, the next one isn't for another hand. Okay, great, we're doing this great all right.

Also perfect timing because we need to re up on slurpees and snacks. Yes, yes, and snacks. Slurpees and snacks brought to you by Tampa on raw Deja Sophie. Oh my god, I thought you moved back to Toronto after graduation. Wait in my Canada? I've been trying. Oh my god, this is crazy. Yeah, well I do live in Toronto, but I'm just on a road trip. Hey baby, can you grab me a bottle of water? I'm just gonna go to the bathroom real quick. Wait. This is my

friend Sophie from college, Kwind. How crazy is it that we ran into one another. She doesn't even live here, She's from Canada. Thanks to meet you. Sorry, what was your name? Oh my bad? This is my girlfriend Gina. Nice to meet you. Likewise, enjoying your American freedom, yeah, nothing like freedom without the free healthcare. Yeah yeah, no, that's that's the American dream right there. Um, well, I still need to pee, Desh. I'll meet you at the car. It's so nice to meet you, Sophie. I got you

the large water but they only had to signy. Sorry. Oh my god. This world is so small. That's so random. Ran into somebody from college. I know that. Hey, can can we talk about something? Oh? That's scary? Are you breaking up with me? No? I think I'll keep you for now. Okay, what's up? I just want to be clear about some things. You introduced me as your girlfriend, which is so freaking sweet, and obviously we're more than friends, but I'd really prefer the word partner. I feel like

girlfriend is a little bit too heteronormative for me. Oh, oh my god, yeah, totally. I'm sorry, partner instead of girlfriend, got it. I'm just I'm not really into the whole like patriarchal, monogamous understanding of love, you know. Of course, it's just really important for me to be upfront and communicate these things. Not that there's anything wrong with that type of love. That's just not who I am. I dated people where my being Polly was an issue for them,

so I just wanted to bring that up. Definitely, honesty is the best policy. As I learned in kindergarten, Well, forthcoming honesty is the best policy. And in the spirit of that, I want you to oh that some of my other partners will be there tonight. Um, I think you've already met Tina, right, Oh yeah, great? Cool? Yeah, okay, okay, I know this is still new. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable. Oh I'm so comfortable with it. I can fall at sleep. You know. I'm just as

cool as the sloopy. I'm so see and see, comfy and cool. That's me. You're so freaking weird but really cute. She's comfy, that's that one way. She's actually so sweaty. Yeah, those pits stains are unreal, Desia. I mean her phone is going straight to voicemail. And then her things are gone. I mean not all of her things, but like her important things like Mr Foxy the Fox and her computer. Let me get the straight because she took some of her things. You think she moved out. Yeah, obviously, I

think you're making a pretty big leap here. There is a difference between moving out and taking space. If she has moved out, what would that mean for you? What's so scary about that? Me and I feel betrayed. She didn't even tell me, she just left. What does betrayal look like for you? Well, now she has this new friend Angie, and she's been dating you know, Gina, and she probably told them she's moving out. So yeah, that's it.

I'm being replaced. What I'm hearing you saying is that when Deja has other friends, you feel like your relationship with her is threatened. Yeah, well, okay, that's not who Deja is like. She's just more of a one best friend type of person. So is it possible that Deja has changed? Wait? I thought you were supposed to be on my side? What do you like? Deja's therapist took Just take a breath. What is it you're feeling right now? Um? I feel angry? Okay, what are you angry about? That?

You're not taking my side? Chloe, I'm not taking any sides. I am just trying to understand why Desia having other relationships triggers you so much, because she is going to have other relationships. Okay, Oh, I see what you're trying to do here, trying to make me say that I feel abandoned by Deja because I felt abandoned my Paul. Now I have this massive fear of abandonment. Okay, so there I said it. You did it. Congrats first, please that the therapist Olympics. Okay, Um, let's back up for

a second. Okay, who's Paul. Paul is my older brother who committed suicide when I was sixteen. Blah blah blah. I've already talked about it and dealt with it, so we don't even need to go into it because this isn't even about him, So let's just stay focused. Okay. I'm very sorry that happened. Ah. Yeah, it sucked. Of course that did, Chloe. It's not surprising that you're so afraid of loss after that experience. You know, my parents made it like a million times worse because they're just

like pretended nothing happened. They didn't even want to talk about it at all. They wanted somebody else to deal with it. Hence therapy then, and actually hence therapy now. You know, they turned his room into an office, like four months after he died. Four months of fucking office. They don't even need an office. It sounds like they abandoned you too, essentially, right, you needed more support in your greeving process and it wasn't given to you. I

never really thought about it that way. You were just a kid. Yeah, but I I mean, I can't be mad at them. I know they were going through something really horrible. You know they had to bury fucking bury their only son. You know, they're firstborn, of course, and I'm sure it was whole ruble for everyone. But feelings aren't binary. You are allowed to be upset at your parents for not giving you the support you needed well at the same time feeling empathy for their loss. I mean,

they may have lost one child, but they didn't lose you. Yeah. So what do I do now? I don't know, Chloe, What do you feel like you need? M hm? Do you feel like you need to talk to your parents about how you feel? I mean, is there any point it's not going to bring him back? No? No, it won't. But what about your relationship with your parents? You don't have to lose that too, Okay, think of it this way.

If you can resolve these feelings of abandonment from your parents, maybe you won't feel as triggered when you're dealing with those feelings and your friendships. Yeah, I guess it still sucks. I have to go through this. Yeah, but then I wouldn't have a job. It's your last name, humor, because then your first name would be sensed and your middle name would be up. You get it. Okay, that is a great place for us to stop. Okay, I'll see you the same time next week. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We call a Chloe two sessions to two sessions for her to have a breakthrough. That's how it works, therapy. It's a weezy bouts of busy. She made that open spy only took two sessions. We out here only took one, not two. Only two sessions. That's it. Not five, not four, not three, only fucking two. Okay. So remember Haley and Don dated for like three months but broke up because Don was in love with Haley's sister, Nikki. Nikki isn't gay, but they make out when they're drunk, but Haley won't

be there, So don't mention that name. Okay, got it, Donn and Nikki, don't mention no Haley Haley Okay, Okay. And then there's Justin Walter and Brian all best friends from college. Typically no drama between them, except we do have a saying when Brian gets wasted, Brian gets naked. Okay, I'm already so earlier you mentioned Tina would be there. Is there anyone else you may have provided tooth precious war in the mast? So my other partner, Frankie is

going to be there. We met in college. We don't really see each other often, maybe like a few times a year, but we faced time frequently. But don't worry, we're sleeping with me. Okay, Frankie could figure it out themselves and I'll take care of you. Oh oh, this is it. Oh look, it's only two pm. Brian's already naked. Oh wow, I thought you were joking. I wouldn't joke about male nudity. Taja Lish is a public showish announced money.

If you are anyone you know has been affected by male nudity, including dick picks dick picks with random objects that are supposed to show scale, please call five five five tampon rock today again. That's five by five tampon rock. Right. I'm so good, I made it. I've missed you. Hug me it'll please know that thing out? Since when are you at jim daphobe? What what do you mean? I work out? I go to the Jymnaphobe is the fear of nudity? You know what? Never mind? Who is this? Oh,

this dashing young laddad is Desia. Isn't she just the cutest? Well this is not the first time the naked man has complimented me, but it was the first time. I don't feel a fine lady Gina, I like her. See, Desha, you're already fitting in. Everyone's outback drilling. Do you need help with your bags again? Not with that thing out? Please? Your last time? I can lift a lot with this thing. Well, he's fun, definitely one of my favorites. Hold on, you

got a little eyelash on your face. Make a wish, Frankie. Oh my god, oh sorry, no, stop come here. Oh I missed you, Frankie. This is Deja Desa. This is Frankie. So this must be the Desia. I didn't realize you were coming. Yeah, it was very last minute. Let's just say she needed some saving. Oh should I ask? And it's a long story. Gotta dropped? You want to beer? Yes? Please, I'll bring your stuff in. Go ahead round back so you can meet everyone. I'll be there in a second.

All right, thanks Ben, Welcome to London time. Actually we're in the cabin. We're Deja. We'll just started checking on her. She seems like we're having a little bit of technical difficult taste. To try it again, hopelessly drowning. Yes, you are not supposed to be hitting that sad song. Okay, Well anyway, we're lit as the American hit It names everyone. This is Deja, say hi, hi, Deja, this is everyone. Hi everyone, Hey guys, I put your stuff in the

blue room upstairs. Deja, let me grab you the beard? Gee you you want the I was expecting it to be served upon my arrivals. Nothing, it's just a vodka drink we made up. Okay, cool? Cool? Hey Tina, baby, I know I just saw you like a few days ago, but I missed you so much. Here take these jellow shats you guys. You have to catch up. Well I went in Rome. Oh no, baby, we're in like Tahoe. Wait, this is like Tahoe. I thought we were in Canada, are you guys? Okay? Bottoms that the dams you drinks?

Thank thank you. So what are we talking about. Well, we just found out Frankie things they have a secure attachment style. Oh okay, really secure? Huh? Attachment style? What's that? So we have this little virtual book club and we've been reading this book on attachment styles called attached and basically, an attachment style is how you function in your relationships, not just romantic relationships, but like all relationships. So Frankie

was just saying that Gina obviously has an avoidant detachment style. Okay, no, that's offensive. Not all polyamorous people have an avoided attachments time, but come on, do you definitely used to be avoided? In your defense, Gina, I disagree. I think you are very secure. Thank you, Tina. Frankie, I don't know why you think you're secure. You're deaf, anxious. You know, we're all secure until we're not. Take Chrissy cheeking for example, Please heart, do me a favor. Hold that thought and

then throw it out. Avoid. What's that? Did somebody say? Shrooms? Is it shroom tradition of ours? But don't feel crushed? True? True day you down? I don't know, I've never done them. Well, if you just take a little it's kind of just like being stoned. Okay cool? Uh yeah, you've got this alright, one for me, two for you. Everyone got to peace deja. I'm gonna give you this little tiny baby peace. Oh my god, thank you? All right, everyone see you in

the morning. Wait, that's not reassuring. Oh my god, this is disgusting. You voluntarily eat this? Yeah? Um, sometimes we eat it in chocolate or pizza. But happy people are keto now, so growing on naturalis here? Anyone want to try and defeed the rain champions for the past three years? Am I right? Yeah? That's good. Who wants to take us on? O? Wait me? You're on my team? Oh? Okay, look I'm morning. I'm not good at all. Oh cut your mouth. Oh I made tea if anyone wants the

actually cannot have some. I don't know if his allergies. But my throat does feel dry, of course. Oh no, sweetheart, that's shrewd ty. Oh shit, I thought she knew that. No, I didn't know that. What's gonna happen to me? Nothing, babe, You'll be fine. Just embrace it. The worst thing you can do is fight it. Okay, are you sure? Am I going to die? You know? What I know. Let's just play some VP and loosen you up and distract you and no, no, I know you'll be fine. Okay,

you're going down bitches, you know what. I'm generous. I'll let you guys go for We don't need your pity, but we'll take it. Oh so close, you got this next one? Let's go wait what's her team name? Oh? Good idea? Um, how about the blanket statements? Okay? Oh a quilting pie already waiting for Christmas. Let's go ear ball good try baby? Oh my god, freaky remember when you Oh my god? Yes about It's kind of annoying being around them, right, they just have so many inside jokes,

like no one should have that many inside jokes. Lucky throw, I think you're cheating. Nah, I'm just that good bro Ya. Alright, stay, let's see what you got. Okay, but please lower your expectations. What okay? Okay, I see how it is. Days you get every do you think and you're so bad but you're secretly good. I promise is never gonna happen again. Um, like you just hustled us. Well, what can I say? I guess I don't know my own strengths. It's so crazy how connected they are even from a distance. Do

you mean what is there? Oh? Well, they never see each other anymore, but like ever since they broke up after college, they always just pick up right where they left off. I think that if they lived in the same city, they'd still be monogamous. They were monogamous. Yeah, oh, you're losing your touch, Gina. Well you know you're about

to lose you're something. Yeah, that's right. Wait where were we? Oh? Yeah, so they were in an open relationship, but they were so concer assumed with one another they never really acted on it, you know, like real unhealthy stuff, borderline obsessive. I think they became Polly because they just don't live in the same city. But that's just my opinion. Whatever, I mean, I benefit from it, So that's what I'm talking about. Good job, Gee, I guess you two, Frank,

what do you never called me? Gee? I'm just trying something new? Is in my turn? No? The game is over? Deja oh exciting. I think your shreoms have kicked in Asia. Look at that tree. It's moving. I think it's waving high tree. Say hi h no to the tree. Hi te hi Hi, me out, me out. I love cats. Oh my god, my stomach really hurts. Oh yeah, that means the shrooms are working. I'm pretty sure we already knew they were. You were just talking to she can

hear you. But you might have to alleviate yourself, you know, pull the trickle? Trickle? Is that the right word? Trick? I think I gotta go to the brook alright, Deja, don't you dare throw up? You got this? Yeah, Desa, you got this? What the fuck? Who said that? Me? Your very gay mother? I have a very gay mother. Actually, you have to what I've always wanted to moms. Watch your step you're bout? Oh my focus, Asia, you're very high tripping as a? Did you see what I just did? Tripping?

As Okay? Okay, okay, right foot, left foot? Whoa left foot? Have you always been so big? Asia? Focus? Okay? Right right, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, right okay, okay, okay, okay. I made it to the bathroom. What am I doing it here again? You came to throw up? Oh right? Right? Wait? I think I have to pee instead, or maybe both at the same time. I don't think you can do both, which is more urgent. Would you rather pee on your vomit or vomit on your key? Oh that was a

really good question. Guys, I can figure this out by myself. Okay. The girl that tripped in her own foot think she can make this decision by herself. Must be nice, dave to think she's all growing up. Guess we'll just you know, go then, right? No, no, no, please don't leave me. Fine, we'll stay. I guess ah. I love peeing. It feels so good. You know, if peing feels so good, could you imagine like what pooping would feel like right now? Oh my god, you're so right great guys. Oh my god,

my pores are huge. Listen. I wasn't gonna say anything, but like, listen, I think your pores might be bigger than the grandpadon. Okay, only one solution to this. I need to shrink my pores immediately right now. How are you going to do that with toothpaste? Jeanie? Okay, but like, where's the toothpaste? It's in my bag? Oh no, fuck, my bag is so far away. Operation Desia have changed toothpastes. Ago. Alright, coast is clear. Repeat, we have a clear coast. This

is Blanche Devereaux to headquarters. We're moving ahead and securing this target over. Got be that tinak or in the room with the target port port Get out of there. Oh ship, they're making out. Deja fuck. Gotta dodge friend's baby, run deja run? Oh is that Tina dger? Holy shit, Tina just turned its more quilt. I can't believe Gina, Frankie. I'm still stuck on Tina as a quill. Franky and Gina are now Frina or Cranky one monster? Two heads.

I knew they were close, but I didn't know they were that close because I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't want to date Frankie or anyone else. I just wanted dat Gina too bad. Now Gina's got two heads. God, it's crankier buss babe. No, guys, where are we? Is that tree waving at us? That tree has been at it all night? Guys? Where's the cabin? Oh? No, I don't see it? Are we? I think we are? I

think we are? What why? This episode was created and written by Lucia Brown, Sarah Almond, and Sophie dinnacoll, directed and composed by Sarah Almond, music supervision by Lucia Brown and Sophie dinnacoll. Executive produced by Brian Walland for Anthem Entertainment produced by Selena Razak, Audio by Tad Gregor and David Kulick. Starring Brandia Lewis as de Asia, Jules Forsburg,

Larry as Chloe, and Lea Covenetti's as Gina. Narrated by Lucia Brown and Sarah Almond, Additional voices by l An Horn, Rachel Napoleon, Jessica Cummings and Brian Bahy. For more podcasts for my Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts