EPISODE 1 - Lesbian Rooftop

what you need to know. They're in a band called The Goal, also known as the Greatest of All Lesbians, and our story picks up with Chloe and Asia in their apartment listening to a demo of their song Therapy. Well one is listening right here it goes and the one and the two. Maybe we should should baby, should get baby? We should baby, I should get baby? Everything? Are you kidding me? How can you even hear that

time hasn't two working speakers? Dude? I know the other day, I guess I was peek too loudly and he started yelling, Yes, the rent is worth it? Okay, should we change this local part? Yeah sounds good? Okay, So this lady just responded, do you want to pick up that couch from her tomorrow? Maybe it's my voice? Do I sound pitchy? Yeah? Okay, well I'll tell her we'll get it tomorrow. Wait what when you? Please put your phone in silent um? You know my New Year's resolution was to be at least

ten feet away from my phone at all times. But I guess I'll break that for you, even though I broke it yesterday and like five minutes ago. Will you check who it is? Fine? Oh, it's a tender message. It says, hey, Boo, can't wait to see you tonight. Question mark right question mark? Is that your question mark? Or is that her question mark? Her question mark? I'm confused. I thought we confirmed. Do you think it's a typo?

Or is it that she's unsure that she'll see me tonight? Chloe, as the great Edgar Allan Poe once said, leave half of what you see and nothing of what you hear. Did you hear something about her that's not all right? Well, as long as she's not a Leo. Do you remember the last time I dated a Leo? Oh? My god, Jessica, she ruined Leo's for all of us, even Leo DiCaprio. Wait a minute, Desia, what are you wearing? You mean? Who am I wearing? No? No, no, okay, really, look

I love this whole stuff. Jet Deja b. Anthony takes on Washington. Look, but you know it's not a costume party, right, as a black woman, I resent that comment. Susan B. Anthony was definitely a racist. Oh it's okay, it's not your fault. It's the public school system and America in the world. M anyway, I'm only wearing this because I have to work that. You already knew that. Oh yeah, I forgot. I forgot. Oh I'm glad you're coming, by the way, No, seriously, I am. You know I can't

go to ship on my own. I don't like to walk in the door by myself. I know you're looking to have me. I love you. Uh. Now, they're gonna be ready to go in like fifteen I'm ready to go now. Okay, First, here's my question. Should I wear this moother boost? I don't know you're going for a little nos X gay or b d s um circuit party leather daddy gay, because either way you look at pretty gay. Ga ga ga ga gake gake ga ga ga ga ga gake gay couple gates to party? Why

you're the b to party ever? Bikes home from the party always exist? Yeah, please stop texting and biking. What happens to your resolution isn't addiction? I can't stop. You can die or where's get a ticket? Okay? If I die, you don't have to come to my funeral. Great, because I wasn't planning on it anyway. Rude everybody, We're so sorry. She's so sorry. You listen. I'm not an enabler, so your phone is mine. What will we I'm in the middle of the wing. Are you watching recaps of The Bachelor?

Wash that show? Yeah? That's the point. How else will I know what happened? You are so strange. The roof is filled with lesbians. The roof is filled with lesbians. Butch butch, but but but but but much But Now that we're not in transit, I'm going to read your messages for you. Oh look, just say you again for the cap playing the piano. Okay, it's bad, I take it. Look at your processing information. Thank you so much for coming out. Yet it is like you have to come

out of the closet. Well, I mean you don't have to come out of the closet just for this. Of you who haven't yet, we support you to. My name is B with two ease were tam pack spelled c kas for trademark and for different reason stuff. Follow us on Insta, Facebook, co star porn howbit of course LinkedIn. This next song is called Vagina. What do I feel like? This band is a little bit too on the nose,

more like on the Ungeina. We could totally play a show like this, might didn't Becky book us, Well, I don't think it helps that you slept with my girlfriend in her own home while she was in the other room past her arm count wherever she works. Yeah, but I was polite. I asked her if she wanted to join She's that sorry, this never happens. This happened last week at Apple. Yeah, we don't use a computer. Okay, well maybe you should. Oh fuck, she says, she's here.

What do you think that means? I think that means she's here? All right? Yeah? Cool, cool cool, that's yeah, yeah, yeah that's what I thought. How do I look? Well, you look like everyone else here? So yeah, gay, every gay, every gay Are you gonna be okay without me for a little bit? Cuse, do your thing, Gonna go to the bar and then probably just go to work, so I'll see you at home. Yes, I should be luck you don't need it, although she might right pleas to

be with under his eye? Excuse me, just trying to get by you. Excuse me? Sorry? Behind you? Oops? Thanks? Hey? What can I get you? Whiskey? Ginger? Please? You got it? You know what? Making it double? That was fast? Do you want another? You know what? Sure? You're back? Sorry about that. This next one is called my heart has a heavy part just like the weird chunking part of my Oh my god, what you don't have weird chunky

bits in your period? Blood? No? I mean well, I guess you're talking to me right, yes, you you're the only cute person without a snap back on here? And uh I still didn't answer my question. Wait what was the question again? Chunky bless? I'm just sucking with you. I mean, actually, like, if we're getting technical blood clots in your period, do say a lot about your cardiovascular system? Um? Anyway, I'm gina oh as in deja vu? First time? That right?

Got him? Well, it's deja vu. I'm enjoying your outfit. It's so old. I know, don't I look good? For no? No, but I actually happy to go to work after this where out of graveyard? Wow, that's funny, you're funny. Does that intimidate you? No? I was just saying that, you're like, Oh no, I think I broke you, darn. I was having such a good time chatting with you. Hi, I'm stud good good. Um so so old lady. How much time do I have with you before you turn into

a pumpkin? Oh? I'll do these weird midnight ghost tours at St. Mary's Cemetery. So so you have less than a hour Cinderella, Mike back to kill the shots? Please? Five? Fine, thanks Mike? Yeah, two for you too, for me and one for Mike. I don't know. Here's despicing up your ghost tour later. Oh god, that that is the human Thank you so much. Guys, you're ready here more at Oh will you'll be more so? So? Oh my god, wow, you really don't like this band? Just like co text better.

I'm on that. So, um, what do you do? I'm an artist, but I mostly model for nude art classes. Yeah, yeah, so interested, I can sign you up for a class or Ashley, Ashley, excuse me, get the funk out of my way. Ashley, Here are you talking to me? No, bitch, I'm talking to that fine glass of Seltzer water standing next to you. If the Lacroix fits you, remember you told me if I was a lacroid plabor, i'd be

the BlackBerry cucumber. That's actually I can't believe you stun me up last night, and now you want to pretend you don't even know who I am. How rude. I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not Ashley, bitch, you're Ashley. See here's your profile pit whoa that is not me. She has dimples. I don't have dimples. There's obviously some mistaken this red wine in your face? Bit security, get her out here. Actually, this isn't over. Don't tell me.

Holy sh it, Gina, I can't believe you just jumped in front of that line. Honestly, I can't believe I just did that either. I don't know how those Real Housewives girls do it. Ship. It looks like you're telling your costume ladies. I think the situation requires more tequilo. Yeah, yes, to Ashley, whoever she is, you really dodged a bullet. Really all right, we should try to go to the bathroom and get this out of your shirts, but most importantly out of your eyes. Here, I think I have

a tied to get a stick? Where got it? Comharent me? No, I can do it. Just just come here, can you? Just hey? Can you? Okay, you can just stop scumming for like two seconds. I mean you smell so good. Okay, so yeah, you're a little drunk. Thanks, but you're you're standing on my foot my bed. It looks like this wine isn't coming out. Oh no, it's cool, it's cool. I'll just tell him it's my chunky periods. Very funny. Does that intimidate you? Okay? A lot dunk? Shit, it's midnight,

I'm already late to work. I have to go. You're not gonna say goodbye? Just give me your phone. Fuck, I'm so drunk. It's okay, it's okay, I've got a drunk work chunk been care hold on, hold on, you have my number. You're gonna be late and a little a lot. It's drunk, but it's gonna be fine. Just deepress, breathe in with me for five and look, I'm sorry, Okay, fuck, I really have to go, but it was so nice to meet you. All right, good luck. Texts by bomm

how aha loves Gena got Gina's so hot. I know you guys can't see her, but like your voice is so hot too. Oh fuck fuck mhm, Hey Days, it's Greg. Yeah. I'm just calling because we received a few complaints from your tour last night. If I'm not mistaken, you showed up twenty minutes late, um covering in what one of our customers seemed to think was blood, which would be fine. I commend the commitment to your rule, but I think

the vomiting was taking the method acting a bit too far. Uh. And then I heard that you told a little girl and I quote you look like the dead girl in the sixth sense. Maybe you should be doing this ghost too or not me ha ha. Yeah. Well, her parents let us know that she's actually recovering from leukemia. Yeah, so that's not a great look for us. Yeah, so I'm gonna go ahead and let you go. Okay, Okay, you have a good one, now bye bye. She gotta pay us bail since at least this is corfy that

she's about to me. Yeah, m hmm, who peddled in your fiddle? Disa? Hello? You got air pods in? Oh my god? What? I'm just making coffee? Okay, Well, it's gonna be hard to make coffee if the pot is broken, so just let me take it. Yeah, yep, you just loosen woosen the death grip. Okay, love it, love it great. Now we're talking. What kind of coffee would you like? We only have one coffee and that's why we call you the genius. Seriously, Okay, I'm you don't sound fine.

I got fired and I'm pretty sure it's because you dragged me to that stoopid party. Oh ship, wait you got fired? How? What what happened? I mean when? Why? Who do I have to kill? And knew I shouldn't have gone. I mean I'm in too much debt to just funk around with my job? Dude, I I mean, I'm sorry, I can't believe that. Asia. You want to talk? Do need space? Space? Okay? Sounds good. I'm just gonna take a bath. Do you need to get in there

before I take a space? Okay? Okay, hey mom, no, it's in the other cabinet, the other cabinet to your left. Oh my god, I cannot stand your father right now? Hey mom, Mom, I can't see you. Okay, moves the camera. Is that better? No? Mom? Look at the square. You're in the square? No, the little the what about top square? Are you in the path? M okay, Well, we don't have to stay on the phone. No, no no, no, Mom, it's fine. What's up? Okay? Well, I was going to

ask if you're planning on coming home on Thursday. It's your brother's third year. I told you that uncle Jim is going to be there with Brook. Do you remember Brooke Michaels, right, I think you went to school with her. Why are you doing air quotes? Is Brooke not her name? I'm just surprised he's dating someone who's basically your age. Oh Mom, Brooke Michaels is at least whatever. She just seems young. You know what, we don't have to get into it. It's not my problem. You're right, it's not

your problem. Okay, okay, changing the subject. Okay, how's the lady homosexual world? Mom? Who says some sexual anymore? Ros? No, I can never keep up. Okay, we'll just say lesbian or queer? Are gay? Pan sexual? Demisexual, saphic sexual? Same sex? Bull? Carpet Vner? We slow down, let me get a pen. Can you repeat the last one for me? What was it? Carpet something? Mom, Do not write that down. Okay, I'm kidding, don't do it. Just watch The L Word on Netflix

like everybody else. I've been watching so awful about that Dana. She was such a sweet girl. Mom. It's a scripted show. She didn't actually die. You know. By the way, did you follow up with the psychiatrist that Dr Brown recommended? Are you gonna switch? Are you gonna stick with the one at home? I don't know how you're gonna get your refills. You can always come home if you still want to work with Dr Brown. It's just that I'm worried. I'm not mom, Mom, I'm just I'm taking a bath. Okay,

I'm trying to relax. So let's just we can talk about this later. Well, you know your brother, Mom, Please, I'm not Paul. Okay, I'm just being a mom. Yeah, I know. I just no, no, no, fuck fuck oh no, ship oh motherfucker not again? Fuck? Oh my god? No you okay, fuck no let me end it. Love can't get to the door. I'm not coming it, okay, motherfucker. Oh my god, are you okay? What's going on? Chocko on one on my phone? I just dropped it in the bathtub. Oh my god, Chloe, I thought you were

being stabbed. There was a stabbing. My phone was stabbed, right, because that's so much worse. All right, I'll get the right stats to the rights to you. Okay, but first, put this towel on. Your nipples are staring at me because they love you. Hey, listen, dude, I just want to say I'm so sorry again. I'm not your job. This whatever, I'm over it. It's not all your fault. Maybe I'll sign up a postmas this something. It's all good, all right, band practice in five. We have to hurry.

I think I saw the neighbor leave. And also, your nipples are still staring at me. Yeah, you're welcome. Hey, Hey, what those nipples away? Gets too hot to play when booms are in you're white. Wait, that's messed up, so fucked up. You know I put your lighters in the air. He put those nicks away? Gets hot? Boss? Hey, you know they weren't no they weren't. Hey, can you pull up the lyrics right quick? Oh ship, wait? Are you watching nastary cats? Are you freaking kidding me? After all

that you gave me from me by your night? I heard some voices coming from your room this morning. Dude. That wasn't my date. That was a different girl. But anyway, my date. It was a total fucking disaster. What happened? Um? This chick was making fun of my dopefest and then she asked about my band. I mean, she asked about our band. So I played her a bit of our song Therapy. Do you know what she said to me? She said, Wow, I love this Teagan and Sarah song.

What what she thought? Her song was a Tegan and Sarah song? Dude, definitely good thing right now? Where the goal? G oh a l the greatest of all lesbians? Not Tegan and Sarah. God, her song is a goddamn original. It sounds like you've been a little bit dramatic, But I mean, like, isn't he getting Sarah like one of the biggest influences on your our band? Yeah, but that's not the point. I mean she basically said we're un original and probably I won't ever make it. So let's

just say we'll be sister friend serious. I don't know why we're doing this. I mean, if people are just gonna think we're teaking and Sarah rip off, what is the point. The point is is fun and we like to do it, you know what. Let's calm down, take a deep breath, five or three. So she literally asked if my vest was from Eddie Bauer, like, oh am, I allan degenerous. Okay, okay, okay, all right, enough about me? How is your name? I mean, besides getting fired? Sorry,

I was arrested. Your night, it was interesting? Okay, I think I met someone? What yo, dude, you never meet anyone? I know. She gave me her number and I think I'm going to text her, but not until tomorrow because I want to give us some space. Whoa, whoa dude? Words? I never thought it here from your mouth, miss she who texted me? Yeah? Yeah, enough enough, okay, ready for practice? Yeah, captain, Okay, we don't have much time, so let's hit this cover

before the neighbor comes back. All right, five six, seven, eight? So kiss me? Seriously. I thought I saw its Carly. Is he at the front door? I'll get it coming. We didn't even know you were daya, Gina. What are you doing here? Oh? Hey, Gina, I didn't know you two knew each other. Small little world. Uh sorry, So did I have a chance to leave my sweater here this morning? Oh yeah, hold on, let me go grab it for you. Thank you, Daja. You never texted me

last night. Did you make it to your ghost tour or what? Yeah? Barely here you are a little okay think Hey, come on, baby, we're gonna miss the trailer. Okay, come here. Sorry man, I'm all right anyway, thank you? Oh, no problem. It was fun. You want to hang out in too, Sure, I'll see you both later. Yeah. Cool cool co co co cool cool. Wow. Gina is so great, isn't she. Yeah? I don't know. I don't really know where. Wow. That was so sad, so sad. Really, Yeah, I wonder

what days was thinking. Yeah, can somebody pull up Deja's brains? Please turn that up? Please? Okay, maybe I suld get. Maybe we should get, Maybe I should Maybe we should baby should get, Maybe we should get. This episode was created and written by Alicia Brown, Sarah Almott, and Sophie Dinnicol, directed and composed by Sarah Almont. Music supervision by Alicia Brown and Sophie Dinnaicole. Executive produced by Brian Walland for

Anthem Entertainment produced by Selena Razak. Audio by Tate Gregor and David Gulick Starry Ranita Lewis as Deja, Jule Spordsberg, Larry as Chloe, and Leo o'bernittis as Gina. Narrated by Alicia Brown and Sarah Almack's additional voices Sophie Dinnaicol and Tate Greger. For more podcasts for my Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts