[Podcast Intro Music]
Andrea: (laughing) "Alright, everyone, welcome back to the Talking Pools Podcast, except today, we're not talking pools—we're talking everything but pools. Paulette and I are on the bench! I threw my back out, she sprained her arm, and here we are!"
Paulette: "Yep! Jim Cantore blew through town with his hurricane drama, and I thought, ‘Great, I’ll take down the hurricane shutters myself!’ You know, because I’m apparently invincible?"
Andrea: "And me? I pulled an Ellie May Clampett and threw out my back tossing feed bags. Just call me ‘Muscles McGee’ over here!"
Paulette: "So here we are, on the couch, iced up like we just went a few rounds with Mike Tyson, ready to spill the tea."
Andrea: "No pools today! This is full-blown Gossip Girl: Pool Edition. We’re talking about everything we don’t say when we’re out there cleaning pools!"
Paulette: "You know what that means, right? All the bizarre, the funny, and the downright weird stuff that we encounter out there in the wild."
Andrea: "So, Paulette, remember that lady, Mrs. Boudreaux, with the emotional support peacock?”
Paulette: (laughing) "Ohhh, how could I forget! She thought it was a great idea to let it roam around the pool while we worked. 'Just ignore it,' she says. How are you supposed to ignore a bird that’s the size of a toddler, squawking in your face?"
Andrea: "And she just had that poor bird trailing after her like it was her little feathered assistant. She tried to convince me it could sense the chlorine levels!"
Paulette: "Like, ‘Ma’am, I have test kits and training; I don’t need a psychic peacock to tell me the pH.’"
Andrea: "Oh, and don’t get me started on Mr. Thompson—the guy who thought his pool guy should also be his full-time tech support?"
Paulette: (groaning) "Oh no, not him. That guy called me every time he couldn’t figure out how to cast Netflix onto his outdoor TV. ‘Paulette, I just need you to come over and show me how the remote works.’ I’m like, ‘Sir, I’m here to clean your pool, not your streaming devices!’”
Andrea: "Meanwhile, he’s over there with three remotes, none of which have batteries in them. He blamed it on the ‘chlorine fumes!’"
Paulette: "And, can we talk about the lady who insisted on throwing a birthday party for her inflatable pool toys? I mean, I appreciate creativity, but this one had full-on cupcakes, candles, hats, the works."
Andrea: "Oh, yes! That was the day I was officially done. Imagine me, standing there with a skimmer in one hand, a pool brush in the other, while she’s singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to a flock of giant flamingo floaties."
Paulette: (laughing) "She looked so serious, too! I almost felt bad for the flamingos; they didn’t even get to have cake!"
Andrea: "And you can’t even make this stuff up. Like when Mrs. Patel wanted us to come back every day ‘to check if her pool has the right vibes.’”
Paulette: "The vibes, people! This woman wanted us to diagnose the pool’s energy levels. Apparently, she read somewhere that stagnant vibes could cause algae."
Andrea: "Right, because algae is definitely meditating at the bottom of her pool. Sometimes I just want to tell them, ‘Ma’am, it’s not stagnant vibes—it’s called neglect.’”
Paulette: (laughing) "Pool vibes, the next frontier in pool maintenance. Forget water tests; just hold up a crystal and chant for balance!"
Andrea: "It’s true, though—our job gets weird. Like, remember that guy who wanted us to check for mercury levels? Said he thought the pool was throwing off his 'natural frequency.'"
Paulette: "Oh, yeah! He had, like, tuning forks and all sorts of things spread out, like we were at a spa. Newsflash, buddy—your pool just needs chlorine, not a wellness retreat."
Andrea: "The worst part is we keep saying, ‘Oh, this has got to be the strangest thing we’ve seen,’ and then something else comes along that just… tops it."
Paulette: "Exactly. Every day’s a new episode of Strange Requests from the Poolside. That’s what makes it fun, though. It’s not just skimming leaves and testing pH; it’s navigating the entire zoo that comes with it!"
Andrea: "So true! And if there’s one takeaway from this episode, it’s that even on our off days, the pool gossip keeps us entertained.”
Paulette: "Oh, you know it! So, here’s to all the poolside escapades, the hilarious clients, the psychic peacocks, and the parties for inflatable flamingos! We wouldn’t have it any other way."
Andrea: "Thanks for hanging with us on this very non-traditional episode. We’ll be back in the trenches soon enough, ready for whatever wacky requests our clients have up their sleeves. Until then, keep it weird, folks!"
Paulette: "And remember, when in doubt—just check the vibes."
[Podcast Outro Music]