What it do, what it do, what it do? It is your boy Andrew Schultz AKA Mr. Goody 2 Shoes and who am I with? As always, Joseph Huggins AKA Old Man Huggy. Talk shit or get off the pod. Episode 191 Taylor Swift at the Cracker Barrel. Welcome, motherfuckers. How's it going, man? And what, what do you think about the Cracker Barrel? First of all, because there's one like out here in my city, they're everywhere. Well, that, well, I'm in California and they're not everywhere.
There just happens to be one in like the city that I live in. Have not ate there at that one specifically, but I went to the gift shop which I didn't even know existed. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, like, just like hella like mushroom, like trinkets and shit. Like, I don't know if it's like what's going on here. It's like, I mean, we, yeah, it's like Bucky's before there was a Bucky's. I again again I I have no idea what the fuck Bucky's is like. It's just a big gas station.
It's like a quick trip with everything in it, like a quick trip in a Walmart Supercenter. Again, like I don't think the audience knows what a quick trip is. However, fun story. Fun story. When we when we were. When we were in high school, I went to go to the Pink Floyd laser light Spectacular with with our boy Kanoff and his mom stopped at a QuikTrip, took mushrooms. I was one driving to downtown Dallas to go see this at the Majestic. I think it was what it was called.
Yeah. So what it is, it's it's it's it's Dark Side of the Moon, laser light, spectacular intermission. And then it's the Wall. So it's like both albums. Yeah. So I take the mushrooms at the QuikTrip. We're like 25 minutes away from the venue by the time I got to downtown, like 20 minutes later, your boys quickly tripping and like I'm like, like there's lights, you know, like I'm in like, what's the district like? Where like Trees is at like. Not Deep Ellum. Yeah, Deep Ellum.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. OK, Yeah. Yeah, so I'm in Deep Ellum, like thinking like, like I had plenty of time before the shrooms would, like, kick in. But also just greatest time ever. And also weird that our boy Kanoff's mom was like in attendance the whole time. Was aware of the mushrooms or not? 100% she used to, She used to allegedly, allegedly she used to take Ambien. And remember, we talked. I don't know if we, it was you and I talked. No, we talked about this in Joshua Tree.
It's like we take Ambien and then you try to stay up. And like triple. Yeah, yeah, She used to do that. But like, like where you stay up and then you have sex. Like it's like a there's like a term for it. I learned about this like when I like went to Joshua retreat to like record music, like last year. Like they call it like it's like some celebrity like does it? I forget who it is though. Interesting.
That's very interesting. Yeah, driving on mushrooms is always an adventure and a bad idea. No, no shit. Like, I just thought that we would get there like. No, I know. I mean. I've but I but I but I took it at a a place called Quick Trip and I quickly was tripping. Well, Quick Trip is just like an oversized gas station. Right, right, right. So it's for the listeners who don't know, but they're like very clean. They have like cold brew on tap coffee.
They have so much crazy shit. It's like a it's awesome. It's awesome. It's it's. Kmart, out here in California, it's the same thing. Kmart blue light special no like AK Mart gas station. I know. K circle Circle K circle circle. K, yeah, yeah, Circle K would be. It's better. It's better than Circle K, OK. But just that I'm taking mushrooms at a place called QuikTrip and I quickly started tripping was like tripping me out but I had a but I had a really good time.
Like oh man, I got a good. Time, yeah, I was like, I was like, I thought like. I started to trip at the QuikTrip and now I'm quickly tripping. I'm tripping out man. It's going real quick. Tripping at the QuikTrip? I just started tripping like sooner than I thought. Like I thought I'd be able to park, like get into my seat and like that's why I took it. Like when I took it, it was like, so like I wasn't like halfway. You tried. To time it you tried to. Time it right.
Yeah, Yeah. I've I've been timing, timing was off. You could never. It's hard to time that. It really is. That's especially when you get the private reserve. True. True How? Have you been? Man, I've been busy. I've built a rock path, I've built a French drain. I've just been going to town, like getting stuff done, but it's been hot as balls out here. Super hot in Texas, but I've been surviving. We got a little bit of rain last week, so that was good. Just been grinded and working my
life away, man. The usual. But things are going all right, I suppose. Nothing too crazy, I'd be better. I got an alert, I think it was last night, that there's going to be thunderstorms in LA and I'm like, what are you guys even talking about? Fuck yeah, I'll take it. No, I would too. Like, I just like, it just didn't make sense to me. It's like, because it hasn't been raining and I was like, and it's been like 90° like every day. And it's like, well, we've just
got thunderstorms now. Yeah, see, I went ham and was like, I'm going to build this like stone pavers rock path like you see everyone do or whatever, but so I did that shit. Then I went even crazier and was like I'm going to buy tons of irrigation equipment and I dug this huge fucking trench and built a drain in the in the rock path so if it rains and fills up it has a drain that drains it and runs it underground and away from that right before my house and into this flower bed that I
built. Like some super intricate crazy wild shit. Paging Doctor green thumb dude. Dude, I've been going like ham, like fucking ham on this. I'll send you. Pictures. You'll be like this. It looks great. It looks great. It looks like I paid someone. You want to hear something crazy? So remember our Boy P Wig who hooked us up with Melinda's hot sauce? Hot Saucy Boy Summer. Is he going by P wig still? I feel like it's like. Yeah, he is. Frat frat boy music or.
Something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, You're right. Keeps changing. Yeah, it does keep changing. He has a side project. Hits me up. Ask me if I want to get on like the chorus 'cause he's been listening to my music. And he said like the songs like about it was originally about family and then he said, but then it kind of changed to the Manson Family.
So I just like like in the morning, like before I like even started working 'cause I'm like working remotely right now. I, I hit him with like some lyrics and every single lyric I say we're going ham. I was like, it's like, like we're going ham. Like with the Manson fam, we're going ham. Like we yen mansions, ma'am, we go in ham. Fuck, I forget the the third line 'cause I like, I just wrote it and sent it to him. But like, shit was fire actually.
But yeah, your boy's about to be on AP wig track. I forget what his record label is, but it's real. I would say it's either gutter, gutter, mouth. Gutter mouth. Gutter mouth, Yeah. And then Manson fam is like a group of them. So there's like four or five of them. I do my research. There's like four or five of them. And on gutter mouth, yeah. It's like him. I didn't know that. It's him. This guy named PAC Manson. OK, yeah, I know. You send me like videos.
Yeah, like it's. Like there's like a chick, there's like a a girl and then there's like two other people I think. OK, so so it's going ham like the Manson fam going ham up in the mansions, ma'am, going ham 'cause we handsome God damn going ham like the Manson fam, like that was just my first take. Your boy, your boys got bars, dude. So they're going to be on AAP wig P wig track. Yeah. Let's go, dude. You got to come out to Texas for the video shoot.
Get Melinda out there. Shout out Melinda by the way. Like I was I was just texted Joseph our last episode. Most stream fucking episode that we ever had like in like 2 weeks. Like by far, like not even close. Like I went and checked it 'cause it was like already like up. So I just checked it like a couple hours ago and I was just like, what the fuck's happening? Did we? Did? Didn't we pick up another? Oh yeah, also also they're listening to the podcast now.
In fucking Gaza, in Palestine. Dude, Palestine's not even a recognized country like by the United States. Shit's on our Spotify, dude. Like these dudes are getting bombed by like some genocidal fucking maniac. Netanyahu allegedly indicted war criminal. That's not alleged. Yeah, yeah. And they're listening to our podcast. So we got dudes on the front lines of Ukraine listening to the podcast. We got fucking starving kids listening to the podcast in Gaza City dude.
Jesus. Not starving, it's famine type. Shit, it's true, but Jesus. I'm just saying Allah. Now Jesus would say, though, he would let the He would let the food in. Yeah, yeah, well guess what? Nanya Hutt doesn't give a fucking shit, dude. All he needs to do is stop. Stop. Or just let the food in. Yeah, or let the food in and out bomb the sites where the food's being. They just hit a, they just hit a fucking hospital and like killed like reporters, like it's ridiculous.
That is really crazy that they killed that reporter team that like pressed like it was like what, 2 reporters, A producer and a cameraman like 4 of them. Right. Like they they could just stop the war, get all the hostages back. Like Hamas is done. Like they're done. Yeah. It's this is just a I'll just fucking keep it real.
Your boy Netanyahu is on trial right now for corruption charges and will go to prison, but cannot go to prison if he is the Prime Minister of Israel and therefore he needs to stay in power. And so the far right section of the parliament is the people who are keeping them in power, who are the people who are sorry, racist against Palestinians and are cool with bombing like hospitals. Like that's what's happening. Both Israel, Palestine, listen
to the fucking podcast. So does Jordan, all of them, Egypt, they'll get it. They know we all. We all know. OK, not that you were pro that, but I will say over the timeline your stance is less pro Israel than it was before. I'm pro Israel. I'm not pro the Israeli government. And what? And OK, there's a difference, right? It it's just like, I love America, dude. You know the red, white and blue, but that includes yellow, black and brown too.
I'm just not pro Trump. I'm not like, yeah, I don't like. I'm not pro white nationalist. Right. I'm not like, I'm not out here like like supporting like the like the fucking federal government right now, but I love this country and I think Israel has a right to exist like, but I just don't agree with what's happening right now at all. That's for. There's hundreds of thousands of Israelis out protesting right now because of what's happening, like, and when.
And when you say hundreds of thousands, like that's like, OK, yeah, that's a lot of people. There's only 10 million fucking people that live there. So that'd be like fucking 30 million people in the United States out protesting. And there's actually a rule if 3% of the population of any country goes out and protests, the government gets toppled. Like that's like a scientific thing. It's like weird. I, I just learned that like a
few months ago. So if you get 3% of the population of any country, no matter how big or small, I'll own the streets. Every single time there's a, there's a, there's a coup, not a coup. But or regime change? A revolution? Oh damn. Oh yeah, bark it out, revolution. Someone, someone just rang the doorbell. Hold on one second. Sorry. Ya, let's. Open that door. That's badass. But but I guarantee you it's just food delivery for my
roommate. But we both like put like, please do not ring the doorbell and like, they just like don't listen. And it's just cause like my dog's protective. But you know, it's funny is because I've been working remotely for like the last week and a half. I've had my dog with me and like, she just confuses me like 'cause I just don't know what her schedule is usually. Like I drop her off at my parents and they, they have a backyard and she could just go
do whatever she does. So I've like taken her on like like seven walks today. Just like I'm like, are you good? Do you need to like pee? Do you need to poop? And then today she was like laying like on the patio and I like walked to my room and she figured out how to like open the screen door with like her nose. Like I thought somebody was like walking into my house. I'm like, what the fuck? And like, and I was like, Nah, she just clever like that. Just like how she just opened
the barn door. Like clever girl. Yeah, OK, well, my week sucked. I don't know how far we need to get into it, to be honest, now that we've gone this far. Well, yeah, I mean, I didn't. Wasn't gonna be like. No, I don't. Know patronizing and be like, how was your week? No, I know. I know, I know, I know. OK, so just like I'll just keep it brief and then we'll just move to, you know, to the regular shit, to the. DQS.
Yeah, I got into a really gnarly car accident a week ago from Friday, so like the 15th fractured my vertebrae, broke multiple ribs, collapsed my lung. I found out got probably concussed. Have a black eye. You might be able to see it. Don't remember any of it. Woke up in the hospital and then I got this like weird ass fucking thing called like pure pure prism, pure pism. And it's like where you're it's this really happened. To me.
No, I'm going to bring it up. I'm just going to bring it up because like people need to know how serious it is because I did not. So I was, I, I, I, I woke up with an interaction on Tuesday. We're recording this on Tuesday. So we could go from today. And it never went away. And I didn't do anything about it, but I was staying at my parents house because I had a fucking fractured vertebrae and broken ribs. And so I needed like help like literally getting out of the couch from like the car
accident. And my mom was, like, talking to me about how, like, I had an erection, like, and I'm like, if like, stop talking to me about my Dick mom. Like, you know, like, yeah. It's like, of course they say like, after four hours on the commercial of Viagra, I call a doctor. It's like, it's like they're just trying to cover their ass. Like, I didn't think it was a big deal. Shit doesn't go away for all of Tuesday, all of Wednesday. Wake up Thursday.
And it is the most painful shit ever. So I put ice on it does, does nothing. And I like I just immediately go into my mom's room and I go, yeah, we got to go go to urgent care. As soon as I get to urgent care, doctor comes in, He he's like, yeah, you need to leave. Like you need to go to the emergency room. Like right the fuck. Now I'm like, he's like, like for real. And but luckily like the emergency. So like I have Kaiser, just Full disclosure.
So like I was like, I like the Kaiser urgent care, but they contract with this hospital in Ventura that's close by. So I that my dad has gone to a lock Z like had a stroke. So I've been yeah. So go there 10 out of 10 pain 10 out of 10 your boys wearing like sweatpants, like not sweatpants,
sweat shorts, the boxers. So just walking into the emergency room with like a full like gas erection, which would have been funny had it not hurt so much 'cause like half the people would be like, like, what's this fucking weirdo he was? Literally the boner guy, My boner guy, what are you doing? But then, but then like like half the other people be like, yeah, it is like. It's it's like crushing. Crushing. That that that he came in fully chubbed.
Nah dude Nah I I I have a fractured fucking vertebrae, broken ribs and now I've got 10 out of 10 pain in my penis. A 64 hour boner. That that hurts. Hurts like more than you can imagine. Back in the emergency room. Third time, 7 days, 'cause I went to I got taken off in the ambulance in a car crash and then I went to the hospital the next day just to like 'cause I don't even the whole car crash thing was crazy. I. Want concussions and shit like.
That yeah, I don't know what happened like at all, like what happened with it. So I just wanted to like go get checked out again, so I went. So the car crash was Friday. Went back Saturday to to to this same hospital that now I'm at with my penis. And they like, try to like, fix it, but it was because, like, I waited for so long to go that it just was not going to get fixed like in a normal way.
And basically the doctor was just like, yeah, dude, you need to have surgery right now or your Dick's fucked. And I'm sitting there with a fucking fractured spine, broken ribs, totaled car. Just like, what the fuck did you say to me, dude? That. And there's a nurse next to me and she just grabs my like arm because she just, she just knows like this is the heaviest shit you've ever heard in your life. And so it's just like, I have to
make a decision, right? The fuck then if I'm getting surgery or not on my Dick. So obviously I do. And literally like 2 hours later I get pulled into like the surgery room, right? They're playing fucking Lady Gaga. I ask if like the surgeon like listens to music whenever they do surgery and they're like, it depends on the surgeon. But yeah, doctor I'll, I'll shout him out. Doctor Yang. It was tight like he does. And I go, OK, cool.
Can we change it? Cause your boy like thinks like he I, I might just died like at this point, Jada, like I've just been in like a car accident like that. I thought I almost. Died you just you just yeah, yeah, going going through it. Through it like through like beyond. I'd like a better walk up song than applause by Lady Gaga. Not that it's a bad song, no no, I would just pick something different.
This is not me shitting on Lady Gaga like I'm this is my, this is just, I'm, I'm just giving you contact. I'm giving you contact. Yeah, no, I'm, but no, no. So so so the so the nurses asked me what I want like to put on. I go my music and then and then I and I get them to, to, to go to at Mr. Goody 2 shoes at YouTube, throw up on my shit. And then, and then this anesthesiologist is like could
not have been like better. Like like she's just like, hey, listen, like I know this is fucked up. Like, like I'm going to be with you this whole time. Like you like, it's going to be like a time warp. Like, you know, we're going to give you the medication, but I'm going to be here this whole time if anything goes wrong. Like just like making me feel like really comfortable, right, with the promise of giving me like Xanax so that I feel less
anxious leading up to this. 5 minutes goes by, some slumpy ass like old dude, like out of shape, just like walks in. He's like, oh, I'm the anesthesiologist now I'm on call. So the so like the woman who just gave me like the pep talk made me feel like super good. Like how she was never going to leave my side the entire time for the surgery already gone. I'm like no so dude. I was on call so I'm here. I swear to God it was creepier than that. Is this your music?
Dude, I was like yo, what the fuck? And also when does the Xanax come, dude? And then they hit me with like the Xanax. It wasn't like Xanax, but it was whatever. It was like the same type of shit equivalent, like through like IV and then yeah. And then I just woke up like 2 hours later. And then I had to stay like the night over in the hospital and my mom like took me there and she went to go move the car because like where we parked was
2 hour parking only. So she just went to go move it at the exact same time that they told me like, bro, like you have the you have to go to surgery now. So she's gone while they're saying that to me. So she runs into the nurse who is there in the room as she's coming back. And the nurse tells her like, I'm going to surgery and I'm sorry. They're good, ma'am. All right, so like she's crying and apologizes for crying and that like crushed me. It's like, you know, to say sorry to me.
But I did luck out like with what's crazy is like I got a therapist the day before just 'cause I was so bummed out about like what app? Like I I like I was just think it's good app a therapist. And I was just, like, bummed out about, like, the car crash and like, just, yeah, yeah.
They're going through a lot. Right, and but your boy had the erection, you know, the whole time, like untreated at this point, 'cause it's when like I went to the hospital Thursday, it shit started Tuesday therapy sessions Wednesday. Luckily though, she had a couch with like a pillow. So I got to like put it over. But like my therapist doesn't even know the next day I'm like going to like get surgery like on my fucking Dick. Like it's insanity, dude.
It was like what is going on? OK, And the reason why this happened was I went to my car to get shit out of it, like when I was at like at the towing place because it was totaled. And like they put all like the broken like stuff like from the outside of my car, inside of my car. So it was like hard to like get to shit. But like I had my backpack in there with like, you know, like
the supercomputer and shit. And so I was like trying to get stuff and I had this like prescription called Trazodone that it's like, it's like you it like it's for something else. I forget exactly what it's for. It's like seizures or something or like, but they use it off. They found out like off label. It's like good for sleep and like they prescribe the shit out of this like like all the time to people.
Like I used to take it like all the time, but like I just was trying to get off of like all like prescription pills. So I just like had a full bottle and it and it was like one thing I could grab. So I just grabbed it out of the car, right. And then I just took it like at night on Monday, which is, you know, the accident was Friday.
I went Monday to my car, got the shit, took it on Monday, like with like the Tylenol and Advil whatever, and when I Google finally googled like hey, like your Dick's been hard for three days Like this is a problem. It said like multiple things like could cause like the that to happen. One would be like side effects of taking a a drug and the only drug they listed was Trazodone, which was the drug that I took.
But then the other causes were damage to your spinal cord and I had both happen like within like that weekend. But isn't that insane? That's like wild thing. Like I didn't like I stopped taking like this shit. Like I don't even know why it was in my car like. Yeah, but it's like, was it like, how old was it? Like old old. Like at least a year.
But but no, but no. But when I told the doctors about it, like like saw multiple doctors like that, like throughout like the Thursday, Friday process when I mentioned that they're like, Oh yeah, yeah, that is actually inside it. Like that is for sure why I'm like, why are you guys like handing this shit out like it's fucking. Like, Oh yeah, that happens. I'm. Not kidding though. So I had a another appointment with the doctor already lined up
before all of this. So like at the same place as like the therapist. So like the therapist works at this like behavioral health thing with the Kaiser. And but then there's an actual doctor. Yeah. So I had that lined up for Monday. And so I'm telling him like the story, right. Like I got discharged on Friday. The therapist has no idea. And I'm telling him the story and he tells me how he fucking like prescribes Trazodone to people all the time and he had no idea.
I know this is going to sound like I'm making this up. This actually happened to me. So the boy gets discharged on Friday. I go and walk the trail that's like right by my parents house just cause I've been like laying in a fucking bed for 24 hours. I just wanted to like. Move. Yeah, yeah.
I get, I get a call from CVS pharmacy in Port Wanemi, which is like not even, it's like 25 minutes away from like where I live, saying that a prescription from Rite Aid at in Port Wanemi had been transferred to the CVS 'cause that Rite Aid had closed. And I'm like, and I had been getting like Tylenol and Advil, like prescriptions, you know, from the doctor, like from the hospitals for like the accident and then whatever.
So I'm like, I'm like, I was like, OK, like I was like, well, can we just, I was like, what prescription are you talking about? Not kidding. I've been out of the hospital for one hour, just had surgery. Everybody thinks it's because of Trazodone. They say there is a prescription available for me at the CVS in Port Wainemi for Trazodone. I go what? And then she says it's for one tablet. Like what is the timeline I'm living in? What some So somebody made you a prescription for Trazodone for
one pill? Which doesn't even make sense. The bottle that I got out of my car, I had like fucking 300 of them. What? What? Who cut you that prescription? No clue. They they can't tell you. I didn't ask are they? Taunting you, I have. No, I swear to God that happened dude. Like like immediately after I got this child. No, but no, no, I I am like no, please laugh. That's fucking crazy. Wild, wild. I'm like, what prescription are we even talking about?
Like, you know, it's like, and then she hits me with the trust and I'm like, are you fucking kidding? And then I was like, no, I don't want that. Like the last doctor I talked to, he's like never ever again trusted. And I was like, trust me, I never wanted to do it ever again either. I just was in pain and thought it would help me sleep.
And I just had it because I got it out of the fucking car because I was trying to grab all the shit out of the car that I crashed that I don't remember crashing. Like, like, you know, it's like this like whole like Confluence. And then she goes, well, it's just for one tablet. I'm like, like, like, what did you just say to me? That's almost like intentional. Yes, yes. Like unbelievable shit, dude. Like I'm like, what are you doing? And OK, and then I just got to
just keep keep it going. So five day, like within 5 day mandatory check up on your boys. You know, we'll, we'll just refer to my genital. Doctor Yang's got to check the Wang. Yeah, there you go. Big facts is what we'll call it. OK, you can call it that. Actually, well, yeah, I different story. I I, I got back into my online poker account and with a different e-mail as, as, as suggested by you remember, I got shadow banned. Yeah. So instead of going by Mr. Good Air, go by big facts now.
And it worked fine. But anyways, so. OK, so I had. So I thought that that would just be scheduled, right. It's like I got your boys got sutures and it's big facts. Yeah. I have no idea what this shit is supposed to look like. Looks fucking crazy. Just figured that would be part of like the discharge. Like, you know, I sent so much paperwork. It's like, you know, everybody's like taking care of me. Like this is what you got to do this what you got to do. Now I have to schedule the
appointment. So I do go and call the number to schedule it. They need a referral from Kaiser, even though they contract with Kaiser. And that's why I went to the place where I went to the hospital in order for him to do a follow up on my surgery that needs to be done within five days. We're here at 5 days. So your boy now has to go to an appointment tomorrow at 2:00 for a nurse to look at my Dick to then refer to a hospital for Doctor Yang to look at my Wang.
Everybody's got to get a slice, man. But what are we doing, dude? Like, why do I have to even schedule it? And then now I have to go to someone else so that they can confirm that I need to it to get looked at like I like, that's not even like a shot. I get the American healthcare system. That's just like retarded hard R, hard I I just don't like it's like dude, dude, dude, how many LS, how many LS? But at the same time, at the same time like, you know,
everything else is good. Like I'm in better spirits, like my like body actually feels better. Like I like for like my neck and like back was like really fucked up like but now it's just my penis. No, it's another no. It's something that has nothing to do with the crash. Well, kind of, though I never I. Guess. It's all kind of related. I'd never like a like a president was in my car for like a year. I'd never even thought about taking. Final destination kind of way.
Yeah, like, like butterfly effect. It's like, yeah. Dude. Final destination, dude. Yeah. But OK, so but what I did here, like I'll just leave at this like as anonymous as I can just for just, I don't know, whatever responsible purposes the place that I went was at actually got shut down. I found this out while I was there because they were like selling drugs behind the bar and like doing like off shit. And then like got and then they
were allowed to like reopen. Like I don't know, like I forget the story of why, but my sister used to work like 3 Doors Down. I got this other bar and she knew exactly like the place that I was at. And she told me like, yeah, no, they were like notorious for that. And so like, I was there for two hours. I don't remember leaving. It's like, what the fuck happened? Let me just leave it at that. There's 2 Austin stories. There was the Yasin brothers. They were big in the Austin club scene.
They owned like Kiss and Fly, which was a big gay bar, bunch of other bars and downtown Austin. And they got caught with like murder, extortion, distribution of narcotics. They were like selling coke and stuff in their clubs. Crazy story. I think they both got arrested. I know one of the brothers fled. I want to say they were from Syria maybe, But they like booked it. One of them booked it.
Then there's another. There's a girl I used to date and her roommate worked at this place called Hovito's. It was on South Congress. Shitty little place was like a part music venue. These motherfuckers got arrested for murder and shipping heroin. So they were reusing Hovitos as a front and I like went in there and ate and like talked to the people who like owned the business, who were like murdering heroin dealers, but ran this little shitty ass Tex Mex place in South Congress Austin.
That's way more prevalent than like you realize like that shady. No, no. No, because a lot of it's like especially it's all cash bar stuff like that. It's really easy for you to wash stuff. Right. Well, it wasn't all cash, but it was divey. Yeah, yeah, I like. But but, but, but it was like it was in Sherman. I'll just, I'll just say it was in Sherman. I was like in a busy place like, but it's like nothing about any of it makes any sense to me.
But like what I like it just like the last thing I remember is just like having a good time, like just totally fine. And then I just wake up in the hospital. I don't remember any of it. Like, like, so just like, I just don't get it. And I talked to my insurance company and asked if they were going to like investigate it, you know, and they said no, but it would be a good idea if I did because it was like at a cross street.
So I'm like wondering if like maybe there's like cameras, like on the stop lights because I like, really like, it doesn't make sense. Like how like and just for y'all didn't know like I'm the only person that was involved in this crash like like nobody else was like hurt or anything even there it was just me. Like that's what, that's the part that just doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, I don't know. That's fucking wild, man. I mean, I'm glad you're OK. I'm glad you're healthy.
But. And then my penis fell off. It didn't fall off it like it it it went. It went too hard. I'm glad your penis will be OK. Well, we hope so. I mean, fingers crossed if if we can see if we can ever get to Doctor Yang. Yeah, Doctor Yang takes a look at the Wang. I'll let you know that there ain't a. Thing, you know, it's funny, like the the doctor's appointment I had scheduled for my body on Monday yesterday. His name is Doctor Lang totally different.
Just like a chilled out like white dude like who like looks like he like plays like in like a band with like Ben Harper or something. But yeah, but then, but then, but then I had Doctor Yang, you know, like just just like giving me hand jobs, like for like 24 hours. Asian guy. Yeah, but but, but, but I I Irish last first name Patrick Patty Yang. That's what I called them. Patty Yang, That's a sickest name under these therapy questions.
Let's do it. All right, so yeah, as we've mentioned, I'm in charge of the therapy questions and I've brought them strictly back to Would you Rather's and ridiculousness. Also just want to give you a shout out actually old man Huggy. I shared the notes with someone and that's someone. From today. Yeah, today, like right before we started recording. OK. Gave you a shout out. What'd they say? They said I like him already. Oh, because of what I picked.
Yeah, yeah. Because we had been talking about see, well, that's that's the thing that I was trying to say. Like I think like a few months ago was like that we should like run down what we're going to go over in the beginning of the podcast because I feel like a lot of podcasts do that and for a reason. But like, people have no fucking clue. Like what we're. About but we have like we have like good banter and. Like no, I know shit.
Talking So that's like where it's good is it's like a like while we're we don't really edit, we mean we stream this everything live, we record live. So there's a like an organicness to it that it's nice that we just like kind of shoot the shit for a little bit. Sometimes it's 5 minutes, sometimes it's for 20 minutes. Well, that's also what this person was asking was like, because I showed the notes and like the like, oh, so you're not going to talk about any like
personal stuff? I was like, no, we always do. That's just that part's just not in the notes. But my point is like, like I'll listen to a podcast and be like, this is like, this is what we're like. Pod Save the World is so like on Spotify, you get to pick like, what is this podcast similar to? So like I got to pick like 2 podcasts that I like that I feel like they're similar to ours, but they're not really. They're just my favorite podcast Pivot and then Pod Save the world.
But like like they'll like breakdown, like this is what we're talking about. Like these are the topics like in the beginning. And it's like, I'd like to me, it's like, I don't really give a shit, but like, I feel like there's a reason they do that, you know, It's like that. They've like tested it and it's like. Yeah, we can do that shit. No, I know, I know, I had mentioned it before but like I just.
Anyways, so here comes some ridiculous shit and and you only get to know about it ahead of time. If you know you exclusive like that, you and the club there be question #1 would you rather relive your most embarrassing karaoke performance or your most awkward first kiss? See, I'd probably say most embarrassing karaoke performance because if it's ever embarrassing, I I don't embarrass easy in that sense. So if it was embarrassing for me, I probably had a blast and that was fine.
So I mean, most awkward first kiss, That would just be weird. I don't even, I mean, but I guess I feel like that'd be like cringy a little bit because you'd be reliving it so you couldn't change anything to not make it awkward. You know It's funny. OK, well, this is, this is where I'm at. Like, I don't like, yeah. Like I have no trauma in karaoke experiences. You know, it's like, it's like this shit's going to be like probably wack like, you know, like, or expected to be wack.
Like for the. Yeah. So if it's like, if it's good at all, like, you're good. Like people love you just for going up and seeing in the 1st place. They're like hell yeah man. Like get back up there. You were terrible. Go again. Right, right, right. So so there's that. But also though, anytime that I have like a bad first kiss, I don't blame myself. I blame it on the on the. Yeah, you're like whoa, bro, get it together. No, I blame it on like the chick. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You're like. Whoa, you said bro. You said bro. Yeah, because if it's that awkward, you'd be like, bro, what are you doing? What? Is this? I just wouldn't refer to it you're making out with as a bro. At that point, if it's that bad, you're already I'm. Putting you in a new category, you're. Shuffled off, you're in the bro category. I'll make out with the Bros. Like it's just, and it's not like I just automatically do it. Like I'll like overthink it and be like, did I fuck that kiss up?
No, but. But I couldn't be me. No, like I know I'll, I'll, I'll consider like the fact that it was me, but it's like, I don't know, I just feel like I'm good at it and like it's like, if it's off, it's off like, like, and I'd, I'd, I just would rather not do that. Like I'll just go up there and embarrass myself in karaoke all damn day. Yeah, I mean. I mean your your boys dropping like fucking like YouTube covers
like like every fucking day. So I got to care less and couldn't care less, I should say. Somebody in the chat on YouTube just said big facts. They're talking about big facts. Big Facts is going to be making a comeback. Don't call it a comeback. Been here for years. No, I mean, and like most, I feel like most people's awkward kiss moments are normally when they're younger, so it's like. I disagree. Hard disagree. You can have them.
What I'm saying is no, they're more impactful when you're older because you're like, whoa, what? But you've had. But there's an all sorts of awkward like kiss moments when you're younger because you're trying to like find your game. You know, you're trying to like trying to find that season and you're trying to find the right combination and then you. Figure it out. I don't know.
I don't know. I feel like it's it came out the womb just crushing it. No, no, I feel like that like the older that like I got like the less consistent that like the first kiss is good. I always felt like the first kiss was good, like every time, like up and and then there was like a moment where it was like I was like, right what? Well, but that's like, oh, this is you have pizza for the first time and you're like, this is the best fucking pizza I've ever
had. And then you need another pizza place. By the time you've had like 15 pizzas, you're like, you know what? That first pizza I had wasn't that great of a pizza. I've had better pizzas. So it's like the more pizza you try, the more you can identify bad pizza, but the more pizza you try, the more bad pizza you're going to encounter.
What I am saying is if you reach a certain point to where, yeah, it'd be more, it's more awkward if you were older and you were to like kiss somebody who doesn't know how to even do it and you're like, what the fuck is this? That's what I'm saying. That would be weirder. That would be weirder and more impactful than when you were younger, because when you were younger, everybody's trying to figure out if they can, how to do it in the fuck first place.
That's what I'm saying, to some extent, trial and error and you find a group, whatever. But you both are figuring that out. So it's like man, you know, like, hey, you know what, that we both we're both going to mark Parr on our golf cards, but we both took nine shots last hole. But like, we both. Suck at all. You know what it is. Maybe it's because it's so like when you're younger, it's like, so like you're in the moment in the present, like, and it's happening.
So, so therefore it is good. Yeah. Whereas like maybe like people are overthinking it when they're like, you know, like they're 30s or whatever 40s what you know, and then or, or as you would say, as you would say, maybe she's single for a reason, dude. I'd say that about so much. You said that about. You said that about the the ex and. Voldemort. But like, but like day of like the breakup, I was like bro, I was like just. Spin. Right. Just pump the fucking brakes bro. I tried to.
I tried to. Gand off. I know, I know. Gand off the Gray you did. I know, it was just too soon. Shit was shit. Hashtag too soon? Stumbled back across me in the woods like a glowing white lady. Like who's that? It was like Gandalf the White Son.
But no, yeah, I'd rather do embarrassing karaoke performances because sometimes, sometimes I'll pick embarrassing songs that have no business singing on purpose just to get people into it. Because you can change the room with karaoke if you're shameless about it. They'll get inspire others to make an ass of themselves. Exactly what I. So it's like it's, you know, it's karaoke, it's everybody's in it together.
Not not even kidding. So like I I'll put out covers all the time, like on YouTube, but I've been practicing a karaoke song and you, you know what it is. Hey, baby Hurricane Chris. And like, to me, it's like, it's like. Hurricane Chris killed somebody. No, Hurricane Chris took his own life. It was it was the Now watch me whip. Wait what? Pack the fuck up, Dark Alert. I'm pretty sure. You just say that. Did you say Hurricane Chris either murdered somebody or
committed suicide? Just like unprompted when I was trying to say that like I'm choosing. Yeah, no, I'm sorry, Robert. Kate. Hurricane Chris spent time in jail in 2020 after being arrested for second degree murder in connection to a fatal shooting at a Shreveport gas station. He maintained he acted in self-defense, which was later he acted in self-defense when he tried to steal his vehicle, which was later found to be stolen itself.
So he was driving a stolen car and killed shot a man trying to steal a car from him, 2023. That's the hardest thing I've ever. Found him not guilty on all charges he was released on after a trial that lasted almost three years and was released from jail on a $500,000 bond. So I think, yeah, he's acquitted for almost three years. So he was found not guilty on self-defense, but he did kill somebody. Well, no, yeah, no, he shot somebody and then but self-defense and then.
He he defended his stolen car. Yeah, he was driving a stolen car and someone tried to steal his car. That's Hurricane. Why is he now like a fucking legend? Bro, that's my whip. That's my whip. Hey, baby, but like, but it's, you know. This this car is stolen. But it's exactly what you're talking about. It's like get the like vibe change like in like in the room, like, 'cause I feel like everybody can get up for that song, you know? It's like.
Whip, nae nae guy who's whip he was sent Ricky Hogg. Now watch me, whip and watch me. No, I know the song, but I didn't know Yeah if y'all yeah on the audio Joseph's hitting you with. A hand whipped it, whipped it pretty hard. Was sentenced to 30 years in prison for a 2021 shooting death of his cousin. He pleaded guilty to mentally ill to voluntary manslaughter and other charges related to the killing. So both of those guys shot some motherfuckers.
One of them shot his cousin and he's locked. Why are they? Why are they related? Well, you just like whipped Mayday. And I was like, oh wait, you said Hurricane Chris. I was like, hey, wait, I think that fool killed somebody. And then I was like, no, wait, that's the whip Nae nae guy. And then it was no, they both killed somebody. So I was right and wrong. There you go, both shooters. And I'm actually never wrong. One time I actually thought never wrong. One time I actually thought I
was wrong, but I was wrong. I was right. Now that's a joke that I used to have. I'm never wrong. I'm always right. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was actually right. There's an old episode, it's super stupid, but it's Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Love that show. Used to love it all the time. And there's an episode with the
moon and nights. So they're like the little cube dudes that come down from the moon and they're flat and they say Outland is shit all the time about how like they're perfect and they have this thing where they'll just be like everything we do and say is right. I was like, I love how that sounds. So I'll say that sometimes just arbitrarily, like everything I do in that I say is right.
Well for the for the record I'm very self aware and I know that I do wrong things and and am ready to admit it and apologize for them. Next question. Fucking staring at you, dude. No, I'm serious. Me too, motherfucker. Me too. There's a question #2 would you rather your therapist office be a bouncy castle? A would a a jolly jump bounce house? I think they call it jolly jump out here. Bouncy castle, that is. The jolly jump. Get the fuck out of here.
The jolly jump. No, no, no. Did you not make jokes about the California No no figure a former former music artist that we would play on the podcast Wifey in the jolly jump like at a part like a kids party jumps knee to her nose, concussion breaks her nose, has to get surgery like months and months of therapy. Jolly jump, bro. That's what we're talking about here, OK? Would you rather your therapist's office be a bouncy castle? Bouncy castle or a haunted house? See, I thought about this.
Is this a bounce house that's got multiple people in it? Like is it just open? Like are we sitting in the middle of it and they're bouncing around? Or is it just like an empty bounce house is? Just you and the therapist. See, that would be kind of tight. It sounds like a Paul Rudd movie, like something that would happen in a Paul Rudd movie.
Like, oh, I'm falling in love with my therapist in this session I've imposed upon her 'cause she works as like a. Falling in love with your therapist is like so so problematic. Oh for sure. That's why it's a Paul Rudd. Movie and then your boy's got like a hard on when he's like me and his therapist for the first time, like, you know, just about to get surgery the next day. Like just just come on dude I did not want to be in a bounced castle falling in love my with my therapist.
I'm just saying that sounds like something that would happen in a Paul Rudd movie. You meet your therapist. Or or like Adam. Adam Sandler, like Billy Madison. David Spade, David Spade type shit. Now the haunted house. I instantly was like haunted house and that of course. Because you love ghosts. There'd be a little brevity, be a little comedic relief because I'm assuming it's a haunted house where there's like, people are going to pop out. People might scare you. It's a haunted house.
OK, but where's the comedic? Really. I've never laughed at our haunted house. That would be funny. You would kind of laugh. You got a jump scare when you were talking about something traumatic and then some dude acts like he's going to get you with the chainsaw. Everyone has a laugh, they leave. I mean, I've never seen that. It would mix it up. It would mix it up. It'd be it might be easier to talk about heavy topics if. While some dudes like just jumping out with the.
Yeah, he's not going to hit you. You know you signed the waiver. But you're like, yo-yo, yo. They said that I needed surgery on my Dick. Yeah, like feel better. But you know what I do? I thought, you're going to cut my hands off for a second. No, I got my hands and my Dick. I'm good. Because a bounce house would just be. That would be fucking.
OK, Well, OK, So what you're saying is I went to the Ventura County Fair recently and I was trying to convince someone to go on the on the Hyperloop with me, which is just like, it's fucking sketchy, but it's like not. All those sketchy dude, the fact that we used to get on that shit is like so. To me, this was to me, this was like third on the list of sketchy of of the rides. Like there's a lot of rides, but it was like 1's like obviously we're not doing like that's
fucked up the zipper. And then there's the Gravitron where it just spins you around to you puke, not doing that Hyperloop sketchy. But like I wanted to trauma bond, you know, couldn't, couldn't convince. But that's what you're saying is you're trauma bonding with your therapist here at the haunted house. I'd rather that over the bounce house because I'm just going to be sitting. Indians selling a bounce house also sounds like. Are you? Are you going to a haunted house with the homies?
Like I'm I would only go to a haunted house if it was like on a date or like with a girl and. I haven't been to a haunted house in years. Right. But that's what I'm saying like, like, are you like signing? We're sitting down. We're just sitting down in A room having a therapy session. Sit down in a bounce Sit down in a bounce castle and you don't have something to do with the chainsaw coming out you with fake blood I.
Choose that I choose. That and also haunted house is like a lot of things, like what if it's actually haunted? Like you believe in ghosts? And then a real haunted house. Then, then, then. You're the one who believes in ghosts. We'd both be leaving with therapy. When did I say I believe in ghosts? Like at least 10 times on this on this podcast that you think? Yeah, I do OK. What are you talking about? To a certain extent, yes. I don't think everybody think people that leave.
Us, we've established, we've established that you think of. Even then you could just. I talk about too much crazy shit to assume that I don't. That'd be like, oh, Joseph totally thinks like that. There's some sort of Bigfoot. They'd be like, what? No, I don't. No. OK, well I get that part, no? But then there probably is. Oh, OK, maybe, maybe, maybe a home girl who who got injured in the in the jolly jump figure a the the the hubby AKA also put his music on the pod.
He believes that Bigfoot exists like for real. Like he's he's a big Yeti supporter of that. Like he like golfs a lot and he's just like, convinced. Obviously not. It depends on the source. If somebody's telling me a Bigfoot story they got, that's like AI don't know. I guess you call it like a are. You telling me like? These an 8 an 8 tooth like meth rule. If they've got less than 8 teeth and I'm probably not going to believe them as much.
But if they got like, you know, if they're not too methy, I'm like, OK. So 9. So 9 is the limit for teeth. Yeah, if they have 9, I'm like, OK. How many teeth do you think you have 'cause I think you like are underestimating how many teeth it like you? Know but I mean nine would 9 would be. 9's still like. It's not a lot, but remember this is these are Bigfoot people, so it's not like you know. I need, I need, I need, I need double digits on the teeth like if I'm going to like take
anything seriously and. You're never going to find yourself a good Sasquatch hunter, dude. I don't want need a Sasquatch. Between 15 and 9 teeth. Guess what? Guess what? It turns out that there are no good. But I want them like in sections, you know, like I want like there to be a good like four or five in the top maybe they got. Two in the back, one over. Here. You want like the like symmetry. Yeah, no, no, no, they can't be blocks of it, but I'd rather the
blocks not be symmetrical. So it can't be like 04 and then 5 or 6. It's got to be like, you know, 4/2, 1A molar still, that's for chewing. That's when you're gonna trust them. Yeah, I trust that guy. Just point me in the direction of a Sasquatch. Well, my point is there are no good Sasquatch. And and if he sleeps, if he's like I haven't slept in days, then it doesn't matter how many teeth he has. I would think you're just hearing. Shit. OK, let let's just play this out like for real.
So if Sasquatch A Yeti exists, big friend. OK, OK, they're pre human, right? Pre pre homo sapien, I should say. Or or let's say like at least around the same time. Well, yeah, there would be. The timeline. The timeline is similar, right? One of the biggest, Yeah. Well, you would be talking about a potential like missing link. No, no, there's been like what I'm talking about is that that these are less evolved beings that are being alleged to exist yet. Yeah, it'd.
Be like, it'd be like a yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody can fucking find them, and they're just like the most elusive motherfuckers on the planet. Like come on, Like are, are you like a retarded autistic human who's just oversized Christ, All right, Like as portrayed or are you like, it's like with Joe Biden, It's like, it's like, like Joe Biden's like like out here, like dealing with like Ukraine and like, you know, like the, the Biden crime family.
But he also has like dementia and can't like like, you know, like wipe his own ass. It's like, well, which one is it? Is he like this like international, like criminal or is he fucking like like incontinent like? I think we, I think both. I think that when we realized that he was Joe was sailing out to sea, I think they just stopped as much. And then they laid off the crime family a little bit. They're like, Oh no, this motherfucker is as old as we
thought he was. They were saying both at the same time. I know I'm just a criminal. Fucking genius who can't wipe his own ass. Like like if you told me it like an octopus, like we never received an octopus but you told me an octopus existed but we never seen it. I believe that. What do you think is more likely to exist? Actually no, because this probably be the latter. So it's actually stupid. What do you mean you're also breaking up a question? Type that.
Just be cool. That'd be cool if Sasquatch was real. No, I agree. I just don't. I just, it's like, come on. Like we, we we would have figured that out by now. Yeah. We have some. Fun. Like, weren't you? Weren't you the one who was saying like, like we could drop drones on like people like at the border? Yeah, I'm just saying if you wanted to actually like surveil the border, you could like surveil the fucking border and militarize it if you want to be serious about it.
That's all I ever. Said you're like that's. And I love when I said that I think for the first time on the pod, you were like, that is a crazy stance. I'm like, no, I mean, yeah, that'd be pretty extreme, but there's a lot of conservatives that would be like, that's way too much. But I'm just saying if you're serious about it, then you'd do something about it. Probably a war crime, but OK. No, it wouldn't be. How would it be a war crime? To drop drones on innocent
bombs. Not saying bad, I'm not talking about bombing drones, I'm talking about surveillance drones. Like infrared shit, right, right. Well, like high tech stuff that they can use to track people. I got you when you set it up though, like when you said it, you were talking about how we like hit hit that one dude with like the with the missile that just like chopped him up like it and like on his balance. Well, yeah. Well, I was just saying.
That's how you set it up. And I'm like, I was like, that's what you wanted to do? No, what I'm saying is that we have we, if we have the technology to do that, we have the technology to just like. Right, right, right. Right. Make sure nobody crosses if you don't want them to do without. Hurting them, right? But we all know that they do want them to cross. It's just a fucking politics, yeah.
For sure. There'll be question #3 would you rather eat spaghetti with your hands or soup with a fork forever? Spaghetti with my hands. I don't want to eat soup with a fork for forever. Even if people judge me and think I'm gross because I eat my spaghetti with my hands, people think I'm a fucking moron if I'm sitting there eating a gazpacho with a goddamn fork. I guess spacho is the soup that you go to. Being wordy and I'm scooping it with a fork.
Cold ass soup is what you're talking about. Yeah, I'm in Texas right now. It's really hot and everybody's like, hey, look at this ass who's eating his soup. It took him 20 minutes to have half of his soup because he refuses to use a spoon. Like that's crazy. Like people would think you're nuts, man. Every time we go to Spaghetti Warehouse, so you get spaghetti, man. He just uses his hands, dude. He's crazy, man. How often? How often are you at Spaghetti Warehouse?
If you are known as the guy, oh, that's the guy who eats his soup with a fork, people are going to be like, that guy's a fucking psychopath. Yeah, yes, yeah. That is like. So is American Psycho. So is eating. Yes, but. You could make, but you could make that way more like oh ha ha ha, and then you just don't fucking eat spaghetti. But if I have to eat every time I. Have soup, but OK, so. So you'd rather have soup than spaghetti is what you're saying? Like.
No, I'd basically just eat it with my fucking hands. I wouldn't give a shit. I come up with something beyond Shark Tank, like spaghetti spaghetti gloves. You said then you don't eat spaghetti. No, you could if you were really trying to avoid it and not worried about. It obviously I'd be worried about it. But eating soup with a fork is psychotic and people will be afraid of you. People will be like, oh man, life of the party, that party animal, the way he eats that. Spaghetti.
What if it's like a chunk with his hands? Like a chunky soup. No, then you're like, what? Like picking the beans out, Like get the fuck out of here, dude. You're going to be in some like business setting, whatever. It's going to be a very important, you're going to be in a very important business life. Like big potatoes soup? And your partner's going to sit there and be like, dude, we got to book this deal. If you do the fucking soup fork thing, I'm going to fucking kill you.
Don't do it. And then the soup's going to come out because it comes with it. It's lobster bisque. It's going to be super creamy. And you're going to go straight for the fork. And that dude's going to be like. Lobster bisque works if there's chunks of lobster. Yeah, to get the chunks of lobster. Otherwise you're going to be like. Yeah, OK, bro. Bacon bro, Bacon bro they bring. Out of here. They bring the lobster bisque with the spaghetti at the same time.
You're telling me spaghetti with the hands is going to look better? You don't order the spaghetti. I'm saying saying they come out at the exact same time they put both of them. OK, then yes, then you could. Then you could. Just what? No, no, no. Which one? You you got? You got soup with the fork. You got spaghetti with the hands. They're both in front of you. You got to pick one. Which one do you think looks better? Probably. Obviously God. Damn, but no. But that's also.
The hands is insane. If you keep doing that, it's going to catch up with you and you're going to be known as the soup fork guy and you could spaghetti hands guy is is the party guy and he's a fucking party. He's spaghetti. And you could do it like, kind of like, like, like delicately with the spaghetti, be like, you know, like pick it up with like maybe a couple fingers. You can make up some story, make it like 7. It doesn't have to be like, it doesn't have to be like, like
messy. Yeah, you could be calculated with it, but you will look like a fucking lunatic. Well, especially if there's a spoon available. Yeah, you know, there would be and you'd be, you'd refuse to use it because you couldn't use it. So that's what I'm saying is people be like, dude, if you do that shit again and there was a spoon on the table, I'm going to kill you. You will lose friends over. What if it was like Spaghettios though? But it's but. That's so that's different.
That's different. Spaghettios. There's a whole wrench into it because that's spaghetti. You use a spoon and it's and and it's and it's spaghetti and it's soup. Yeah, spaghetti OS mascot. Weird. That's how you that's that's how you break the fucking timeline, bro. It's is. You either have to eat spaghetti with your hands or soup with a fork and you just eat spaghettias and the simulation's over. Yeah, you shoot. It's then you meet the
architect. Yeah, Mr. Anderson, you know, it's it's fucking Elon and ketamine. Yeah, yeah. He's like, oh man, I'm so hot, right? You're like, you were never hot, dude. That was never a thing. Like no one ever said that about you. He's like no no, the the chick out Hot Topic did. Yeah, she's going to have my kid. Oh, definitely, Obviously. Yeah, where's her?
I would have Elon's kid if you if you would actually pay like child support, you know, like what she doesn't allegedly therapy question #4 would you rather every handshake be a thumb war or every hug be A and it's deleted out of here for some reason. What? What was it? I have to go pull it up. Hold on, it was every handshake be a thumb war? How did that get deleted? But I have it saved somewhere else on man, man we slipping. Hug be oh, oh, I know what it was. Hug be a tango.
There it is. I don't remember what I put in. Hug. Be a tango or more, thumb more. Like like do you have just irrational confidence with your thumb game? Pretty good at thumb wars. And that'd be less awkward than like, hey, like nice meeting you or hey, and you meet someone every time you hug somebody. You got to do a tango. That'd be a little much. Kind of tight. Meeting a girl's parents for the first time. Tango Dip.
Are you hugging? Are you hugging the girl's parents the first time you meet them? Maybe. Maybe if they seem nice. Maybe it's a strong handshake. If you get well, the dad, my mom's are always like, like, oh, OK. You know, you gotta break that barrier. Hey, I like some sweet dads. You give them a firm handshake, good respect. Like hey, thank you for letting me spend time. Well, you know, like, like there is like a difference like in Texas and California, like on
how that shit works. Yeah, 'cause I feel like in Texas, like it's a hug no matter what almost. It's a, it's a hug unless otherwise. And then in California, it's like the opposite. It's like a handshake, unless like you're feeling comfortable enough for a hug like in the beginning. Yeah, and see, with my last name, Huggins, people are like oh so. You, you just be getting hugs out here. Yeah, sometimes. OK, what if they don't even know what the fuck your last name is?
They'll be like, oh, is it OK if I give you a hug? I'm like, yeah, sure. But then also like, but both of us. My name My name is Huggins. I have, but but we'd be managing people like it's like, I'm not trying to hug anybody. No, but you know, sometimes people need hugs. No, I agree. But also recently people have been been trying to hug me, you know, because I've been going through some shit but I got like 4 broken ribs and a fractured. Oh, and the boner gives distance
too. It's like, hey, you got. To I had to say that so close to my roommate today. You gave me a hug and I was like OK but also watch out bro. I'm like, yeah, back up, dude. You have to. You don't have to take your keys off the belt loop. Put them in the pocket, man. Yeah, I thought more over every hug be a tango. That'd just be obnoxious. It would take forever seeing. Your why is it forever? Does it be a TT? Doesn't have to be forever. If if it takes me 10 seconds, 10 seconds.
If it was everybody got a 10 second hug. That would be creepy. No, it's a tango. So a 10 second tango that would take a while. That means that it would literally take 10 seconds. That means if I went, I met up with family and there was like 6 people there, would take me a minute to hug everyone and say hello. Fuck that, hey what's up? He wants a hug, cool. Boom boom boom. Get them that way. Boom, let's see.
Let's go sit down. I mean, it would be kind of tight, like, like, especially if like, whoever you're hugging is is just now involved in the tango. Well that's they would be, so they would have to be either they fight you on it and not be into it. OK, well then, well, I don't like that part. Yeah, exactly or. I want, I want it to be just like the hug is consensual, I want the tango to be consensual as well. But if the thumb war was consensual, that'd be tight. No, I agree.
Job interview, shake hands with the guy you're about to interview and you beat him in a thumb war. Then you sit down and ask me questions. I just whipped your ass dude. What if? Yeah, like real talk like your boy. You know, we we've talked about the irrational confidence. I found out that there was a tournament for like money for rock, paper scissors and for years and probably still right now I'm just like trying to be more humble. I think I could win that tournament for real.
Rock paper scissors. That's what that's what the thumb more. Well, I don't. I just heard this is like I haven't like researched it but like start training soon as I heard I was like I was like, Oh, I'd win that shit. But like they're it's like there's no rhyme or reason why anybody would win. It would just be a pure luck. No, there's got to be some sort of strategy too. Like like there might be tells
on like some people. Well, not just tells like what's the most probable and being odds, like what's the most probable picked thing or you know, whatever. No, there's. What? What do people pick first? Most paper, rock or scissors. Right, but then, but then you, but then you have to think about like that person's thinking about that too. So then they're thinking about, you know, it's like a fucking chess match, but it's just random.
But just like the irrational confidence that I would like definitely win that tournament. It was just, I think it's funny, I was thinking about it the other day. So do you show that rock is used 35% of the time? Scissors around 30. We're talking about tournament professional players, bro. We're not talking about your average Joe. It's a Reddit threat. How to mathematically win at rock paper scissors. You could do a little research. Take the game by storm, man No.
I'm sure like there's an edge to it, but I feel like everybody who's entering into the tournament has already done the research. So it's like you got to do like counter. It's like it's like counterintelligence. It's like, it's like, I know that you think that I, you know, rock is 35% and then I might come out with that so that you're going to do this. So then I have to counter that, you know what I'm saying?
Like. Strategy gets hard and it's to the point where it's just fucking random and makes no sense that you would anybody would think that they were. Like I guarantee you, there's no repeat champion rock paper scissors tournament winners. Back-to-back. No, I mean, that'd be to talk about underrated. Then you'd be that'd be GOAT status. Have you ever won back-to-back Rock, Paper Scissors championships? Yeah, that person would be a legend. A legend.
We would know that person's name for sure. It's like, what? What? What's the dude who eats all the fucking hot dogs? Joey Chestnut. Joey Chestnut, Like, you know what I'm saying? Like that dude goes. Out there scarfing down glizzies and we know his name. That's glizzying it up. That's right. That was for you, Jen's ears, which is like. Shout out, shout out. I've had the pleasure.
I don't really talk about work much, but I got to train somebody for the past like 5-6 weeks it's been a fucking blast. And she just went off. That was great. It was she just went off to wherever she was going to go and one day we were working and it's like early like 630 get there, shit sucks and walks in fucking glizzy. She picked up at like QuikTrip. She was like, yeah, man, I was eating this hot. She's like, yeah, breakfast, man. It's like a.
Six start Start paying your boy. She was like, she was like 6. She was like 6:00 AM. Glizzy just gets it done sometimes. And I was like, fuck yes. Like that's not for me, but fuck yes. Not kidding, like when I when your boy was doing pool boy shit the the gas station like that was in between my office where I get the pool boy truck to the pool boy supply place. We're selling glizzies. 3 for a dollar. 10 That's a steal. Then I walked in one day and it was 3 for 298 and I asked him.
I was like what? What happened here 'cause I just found out about it. Like like, 'cause it's like 7:00 AM. Like I'm not really trying to eat a fucking hot dog at 7:00 AM, but like that's steal 3 hot dogs for a fucking dollar. And I asked the lady about it, it was, it was you get one for for $0.99 or you can get 3 for 298, which is actually more money than if you just bought one, one and one. And but it changed all of a sudden, right? It used to be 3 for a dollar.
So I'm like, what happened? And then she told me like the owner like, like had been been like bitching about this for years, how he's like losing money on the hot dogs and then finally raised the price. And I'm like, OK, but like, you realize that like you're charging more if you buy three than if you bought three single ones individually. And then I I went in there the next day and they had changed the price. Shout out. I mean, I was like, what are you guys doing?
Like you're not hooking anybody up by like like this. Like discount buy three paid pay 1 cent more like that's the how that shit works. One gallon is 5 bucks or I could sell you 10 gallons for $500. No, it'd be like, it'd be like for like 1 gallon's 5 bucks or I could sell you 10 for 51. Yeah, it'd be like, wait, what? Like, yeah. Oh, that sounds great, babe. We should get that deal.
But then like, put a sticker out there for like the deal, yeah, after you just raised the price on everybody who's like stoked they're getting 3 hot dogs for a dollar for like the last 10 years or whatever the fuck. Yeah, and you know, he's just in the back office like fuck. And then they would give you like all the condiments and shit for free, which got kind of messy. And so I just like. I don't. Know yeah, the public condiment stations are always pretty rough.
Well, they'll give you like the packets. It's just like, it's like it's 7:00 AM, dude. Like I'm eating a hot dog and I'm like getting like relish like on myself. Like it's like I, I, it's like I only did it like maybe twice. That's a live commitment, dude. It's like it's but. Yeah, the chick glizzy 6:00 AM Glizzy ketchup won't. Is that what we're calling her? 6:00 AM Heard she's Queen of Elizabeth, now Queen of. God, I like it. I. Like it. Thanks.
Yeah, but you got 6:00 AM glizzy ketchup only. That's rough work. I was impressed. I was like. That's why girl. I was like, that's what I thought. Was that did she have the caucasity? Half Caucasity. When you hit me with the ketchup, your boy's putting mayonnaise on his just because they would give it to me. So they give me in the. Middle. Of course he did. You walked in. White. Boy, they're like, oh, you want? He wants mayonnaise.
No, I just he needs that. He wants I just they asked me like like like again. I did this like twice but like. That boy, White white, his Mama put. No, I just like, give me all the commentments that you have because I didn't know what they had, and it would be relish, mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup. And it's like, well, I got all the shit. Like might as well do it then. It's like getting fucking messy. It's like, dude, I have work to fucking get to. Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like what am I doing? Like eating a hot dog. Yeah, this white boy wants some mayonnaise, Dude, his mom used to put Miracle Whip in in his in his baby bottle. I grew up on Similac. I grew up on Miracle Whip and titty milk. My dad's, my dad's mom, my grandma worked in a mayonnaise factory in Philly. That's the whitest shit I've ever heard. The most Irish shit you've ever heard? Yeah, mayonnaise factory is ain't white. Yeah, it's like a office yellow hue.
It's like bro coming out something like mayonnaise everyday. Shout out Gigi. Dude, that's gotta be tough. Like on God. Is that what we're calling my grandma? So it's called my grandma. So grandmas are just Gigi. I called her little grandma and then and then big, and then in my mom's big grandma, even though she wasn't big. It was just that my dad's. I don't know if that's what I think. What's the term? She died young. She seemed old, but she died
young from lung cancer. She fucking power smoked. Damn Mayonnaise Factory will fucking do that to you. Dudes like fucking shit power. Smoking. She got, yeah, she got, she got her pension too, so she earned that shit, dude, for sure. Well let's give her a shout out though she did make this blanket for me when I was like 8. OK, shout out. Yeah, still have it. Oh yeah, I think every blanket I have my grandma made and I've got a shit ton of them or she got me.
I like I could literally just build a pallet, a big comfy king size bed pallet of blankets if I wanted to. So and you can't get rid of. Them you're like a polygamist, bro. Like you can't. You can't. Well, like, like, like you can't. Well, but they're all for my grandma, and that's her whole thing. It's like, well, it's Christmas. Chill the fuck out like. No, give them a hand them over. That's sweet. Well, to me it's like she made me one.
There was when I was in California last time, there was a Kelly green, Eagles green one that she knitted in like the 70s or something that she still had that she was like, yeah, if you want to take it. I was like, fuck, yeah. So I still have it. Like it's on my couch. I use it all the time. It's great, but it's big Fuck off. Kelly green knitted. And she's like, oh, I guess that is Kelly Eagles green. I was like, hell yeah. We're about to get into Kelsey
Eagles Green here in a second. Do you need a break? Yeah, that was, that was kind of like a longer therapy question. We're we're almost 2 hours in, we're an hour 40 with the runtime, you were 10 minutes late, so we're about an hour and. 1/2 yeah, whatever, but with the audio there is no break. We'll be right the fuck back. All right y'all, Now we are back for the articles. Joseph, start us off. First article. Oh no, one second. You know it always does this. I don't know why. Boom.
AP News Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. Travis Kelsey's love story from friendship bracelets to engagement rings, 'cause they got engaged today. Do you give a shit? I do partially A cause Miss Avalon was talking to me about it. We'll just call her that. And also our homie, you know, his brother is a Hall of Famer. Eagle. I just think it is. I don't know, like I have a song that that says like, I have no desire to date Taylor Swift. I just know one day it's just going to be my turn.
So like, I hope they don't get divorced and I don't have to do that. But like, I, I don't know. What do you think? I used to like make jokes like if like Adele and like Taylor Swift, like like ever like got into a relationship together and then broke up, like the fucking hits that would come out of that, you know, like, like I feel like people forget that like Taylor Swift used to just be like a homie hopper. She's always been a homie
hopper. I know but like but then she became like icon billionaire like she. Became like the she's toxic as fuck. She is the future. She is like what future is for guys. That's what Taylor Swift is for girls. Maybe she's the problem. She has a song that says I'm the problem. I know, but like I but I literally made a joke about like hey, maybe you're the fucking problem and then she came out
with a fucking song called that. But then also boy Morgan Wallin came out with I'm the problem and like your boy just covered it, might be releasing it so. Yeah, I mean, I like good for them. I don't give a shit. They're. Like 35, they announced in the news in a joint Instagram post on Tuesday. It's the last chapter of the couple's love story, one that spanned 2 years. 2 That's what it says. Or latest, Sorry, latest chapter. I was like last chapter. Yeah.
I was like was never used whenever you swooping 2 Super Bowls an an album announcement in the highest grossing tour of all time. I mean, I guess there was something about friendship bracelets. He gave her a friendship bracelet. If you met her, he if he couldn't meet Swift and presented her with a bracelet with his phone number.
She doesn't meet anybody or at least she didn't want to meet me. So I took it personally quipped on the podcast on Instagram. Anyone know how to get a whole get a bracelet to at Taylor Swift asking for a friend. So he was shooting a shot and she was like, hey, hey, hey, So I mean. This is what I say about like, what is it 50 Shades of Grey? What what's the book? Is it the? 50 Shades of grey. Is that a book, right? Yeah, that's what it's called.
Yeah. Like it's like, if that dude's like not a billionaire, that's like a like a law and order SVU episode, you know, it's, it's like you giving your number out to Taylor Swift on a fucking friendship bracelet doesn't work unless you're the best tight end in the fucking league. You know, it's like it's like, it's like things that seem like really sweet and nice are only sweet and nice if it's like coming from like someone that you would want to like actually
hang out with. Otherwise it's creepy. Like that's that's creepy if he's like just like a random dude, but it but it's romantic that. Yeah, but we've been so bombarded with this shit that it's just like, obnoxious. I don't feel that bombarded by it. We whooped their ass in the fucking Super Bowl. In the Super Bowl this time, but I'm just saying at one point it was like T Swift, ice spice. It was just like the most random shit that was. Fine with it. It was. Annoying. It was annoying.
I mean, you know, like I do like to get us like try to get us like cancelled, or at least like that's great, attempted to get cancelled. Like, you know, like hate on the Swifties, talk shit about K pop. We never come out to Bay hive. Never, never, not once. But will not. I won't. I probably would. Joseph would Joseph likes to talk shit about strong black women like Oprah. Oh, wow, wow. That's because Oprah's a monster.
Somebody agreed with me. I was talking about this, and they were like, no, they were like, absolutely. It doesn't. There's no way she hasn't done some horrible. I know, but I just, I would feel like that you would have more hesitation than than. Oprah, she's got her best friends flying. Gayle King's flying up in a fucking penis ship with Katy Perry. She's If there's a deep state, Oprah is the deep state. No shit. But that's fine. That's that should be like my
that's called progress. Latest progress. Latest edition to Book Club of the Month Mein Kampf. Oh Jesus, 6 slaps. They're like, oh, it's like, whoa, bro, Oprah's gone wild. Yeah, 200 years ago. She's like, like, you know, running behind Harriet Tubman, like trying to get the fuck out of like Alabama did. So the fact. Color The Color Purple too. Yeah, my point is like is like that, that the fact that Oprah is the deep state. I love how you can't get over
that. I'm that I'm just not trusting of Oprah. Like well, well. Well, it triggered me when you said that you would talk shit about the Bay Hav because I just would never would do that. But I feel very talk Cassidy up to talk shit about Swifties but I also feel like that it would just get the numbers up. No do Taylor Swift's lame as fuck. I don't think she's lame as fuck.
OK, OK. I was saying that like, put me in a writer's room, like for music with Ed Sheeran, Jay-Z, Nas, I'll come out the winner every time. And then somebody said, what about Taylor Swift? And I said, I actually feel like that she deserves to be in that room. Like I'll still win, but she just, she just deserves like she's a good songwriter. Like so this one time I like manipulated this guy and then I Oh my God, and I and I do you think I have a song of it?
What do you mean, dude? There's like, there's like a timeline where it shows. Like like. Relationship relationship. Well, John Mayer is a scumbag, so if anything John Mayer would set her up to become. A Slack What about what about our boy kind of toxicity? What about our boy over, you know? All the other dudes, she the. Roadhouse, Roadhouse. She she made it to where? Who I I I I. I can't stop loving you, you know. Who am I talking? About she's she's the problem.
Gyllenhaal. Oh, Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah, yeah. You're telling me that like she's. Easy. She played both Jake Gyllenhaal and John Mayer, like probably those dudes. Those dudes are like fuck boy central. They got played by Taylor Swift or she just is just too vulnerable. Then then she purposely gets in toxic relationships to write
songs about them. No, I think that she is the problem at some point, at some point, at some point, you would think that, but the fact that it's worked out here, but also it's worked out because like Travis Kelsey is going to Super Bowls, you know, and like is like legit and like, you know, and he is like an actual athlete. He's not like an actor or like a or like a songwriter. You know, it's like, I feel like, like he she met her match. Like he is the Taylor Swift of tight ends, right?
I would disagree, but. I mean, you don't think? There's I don't think. That Tony Gonzalez and like Antonio Gates and and and and him, it's like that's the three. No, you'd have to have Rob Gronkowski in that. Conversation. Gronkowski is way more dominant. OK, how about this? How about this top five? Yeah, he's top five. Probably, and Taylor Swift's probably top five. Shannon Sharp. I take Shannon Sharp over. And.
That's fine. But my point is that he is elite like she is. I'm not saying she's the best. I got it. Look, you are pro Kelsey Swifty. Well, I'm I'm I'm pro his brother and so so I just got to buy with the. Family. No, I'm in good form. It's easy to hate on him. It's just for me. And I've gone out of my way to shit on Swifty's but like again, for the clicks I think she like I respect her. No, I mean, I guess I respect.
I feel like she got she got so like, you know, like we're talking about like fuck boy phases. She was like, I wouldn't say fuck girl phase. I think she was like in her like exploring date they. Call it. They call it their hoe phase. I don't think that's what it was though. I think it's like a different version of the same. Hoe era. No, I don't think she was being a hoe though. Like, I think she was being like. A serial monogamist. Yeah. So she had to be with somebody.
Right. Yeah, there that that's that's what she. So it's like if she's always with somebody and a relationship doesn't work out, how much work are you actually doing on yourself before you jump into another one? No, for sure, and it feels like this time it's worked out. The Instagram post is a little odd. They just have marketing teams that they're surrounded by, people that are coming up with
ways to market them. And for Travis, as his career is winding down because he is losing the ability, he's not what he once was. He's so great, but that's not his fault. He's a 30. Five year old he's transitioning to. 35 year old tied in so he this is going to podcast the transition that they that she is going to help facilitate him and his transition out of football and into something else like he's going to be doing him and his brother will both be calling games.
And it's not that Travis Kelsey is nearly as care. He's not as charismatic. He's not as good as a public speaker. He's not. He is not. He did have his own reality show and that's actually like was my first like real introduction was his like VH1 reality show where it was like where he was dating women and I thought he was like a complete fucking asshole. And then like as like the years have gone by, I'm like, it doesn't seem like that bad of a guy actually.
No, he's just like a dude bro. He's like. No, he's fine. Like like, but no on that. If you ever go back and watch that fucking reality show, you're like, you're like, dude, what are you doing? Like, you know, it's like you're acting like Jacks like on Vanderpump Rules, like and you're like a fucking like Hall of Famer. Like what? Like what are we? What are we doing here? Yeah. But it worked out. You know what? You want to throw some money on this? On what?
I think they'll be OK. This is contingent on them actually getting married, but once they get married I think they'll be married for at least five years. I think longer but like over under 5. I mean I would take over 5. For sure, yeah, yeah. Like I like, I feel like this is it. Like I feel like it worked out and and until the CTE kicks in. Taylor. Until, yeah, until he starts acting wild, like he's going to fuck it up.
She's not going to fuck it up. CTE got me not knowing what to do. I will shot her with a 22. You're like, whoa, Travis. We've already we were seeing like his his brother wild out like, you know, just like on like national TV, like, you know what I'm saying, like like. Yeah, but he's awesome. And then no. Yeah, I know. He's awesome. And everybody tries to copy him. So it's not like, authentic, you know? But Travis Kelce is definitely like the douchier of the two brothers in my opinion.
Yeah, I mean depends on your definition of. Dude, he'd be he'd be the dude that you'd want to go out and like try to talk to girls with go out to the. Bar disagree, disagree. Hard disagree. You don't think between him or Jason? Jason, Jason. I'd much rather be hanging. Yeah, I guess he's got the dad. Yeah, well, that's like, if you're just hanging out with, I'd rather hang out with Jason, I'd go party with Travis. And go with girls like like like he's having a good, good ass time.
My point is like, he's a little wild. And I'm just not sure if he's wild because that's just who he is or because he was snapping balls for the Eagles for 10 years straight. Don't go into fucking nose
tackles, you know? True. Next article US restaurant chain cracker barrel scraps new logo after backlash this is the weirdest shit the people were that upset the like the old man who probably is racist just what just I look at the depiction I'm looking at the logo right now and that guy is leaning in that chair on that barrel like he woke up inside the end of your boys put out your.
Boys put out cover art of like, you know, like on his songs like and like these people don't even exist half the time and sometimes they're like. That's a dude. That dude exists that. No, I'm just saying like, like it's not a real person. Once was, and he was probably racist. You think so? I can say it was it was pre pre AI you. Go you go back far enough in time. Like more likely than not, like your family was probably racist.
Well, you know, it's actually weird is like there's like it's like a parabola if that's the right word. Like where race didn't even exist until like 1760 where this dude like wrote a book about it. Like like the concept of race was not even a thing even though shout out Slovakia, listener of the pod Slovakia. Slav is the original word for slave and Russians used to enslave people from the Czech Republic and that's why they're called Slovakians, the original
slavers, slave owners. Fun facts for the pod Dark Alert. US restaurant chain Cracker Barrel has abandoned its plans to adopt A new logo fog following fierce backlash. We thank our guests for sharing your voices and love over Cracker Barrel. We said we would listen. We have our new logo is going away and our old timer will remain, the company said on a
social media post. Cracker Barrel received criticism after it unveiled a modern version of its logo, which scrapped the Old Timer in quotes figure. President Donald Trump was among those slamming the rebrand applauded the reversal. Congratulations Cracker Barrel on changing your logo back to what it was. All of your fans very much appreciate it.
The new version of the logo was unveiled along with the new menu on the 19th of August. Removed an image of an old man sitting in a chair and leaning against a barrel known as the Old Timer and replaced it with an emblem featuring only the chain's name. That sparked accusations as a company known as a southern style comfort food with nostalgic atmosphere was abandoning it's abandoning its roots. President Trump urged the brand to return to his old logo and then admit a mistake based on
customer response. The full poll and manage the company better than ever before. He said the chain had got a billion dollars worth of free publicity if they play their cards right, adding make Cracker Barrel a winner again. You know what we should do? What A. Fucking. Tool, you know what we should do? Start a fucking TikTok campaign. Why? Why are you calling a Cracker barrel? You're calling me a cracker. It's like using the N word for white people, no?
I couldn't. I guarantee you if Trump said like using the word cracker to talk about your company, all of these people who are upset about them changing the logo would be like, yeah, why are you calling us a cracker? I'm on my Ritz white boy crack. David Johnson, CEO, branding agency Strategic Vision PR Group, said even. My Cracker Barrel. Oh, I'm back the fuck up. Do you even like it? Not really. It's kind of weak. I've been there. I. Feel.
Like it's it's pretty lame. Like I could DoorDash it and like I looked at it a couple times and I'm like, I'm like like because to me. It's like Waffle House for life bro. OK, well, we don't have those out here, so. Come on, why don't you don't? No bro it. Would crush out there. No shit. I don't get it. It's like how in and out that is like barely like outside of California, it's like it's creeping out, but it's like there's. A bunch in DFW now.
No, I know. But like there used to not be like, Oh yeah, used to be like one in like Las Vegas, one in like Arizona and the rest were in California. It was like on. Yeah, why does shit always end up in like Scottsdale? I'm like why are? We well, that's where that's, you know, where Scottsdale is. That's Cougarville bro. True, True. True. That's like literally that's where divorced 4 year old women go to fuck for the audience.
What they did wrong is they went against their brand, their brand story, which was the old logo that reflected the southern whimsical atmosphere in the stores. The other shares, those died 7% after the announcement. You know what that reminds me of is like when they did New Coke? Do you remember that? We were super young. They did like, a yeah, like, so Coca-Cola changed up the flavor and it just like, bombed. Like probably cost them billions
and billions of dollars. Like, just like whoever the fuck made that decision probably like got off to like Jeff, Jeff Epstein, like, you know, just like, here's the. No, they just got, they just got sent to the island and he's like, why are you sending me then? Like, oh, you'll find out. Yeah, you're dumb, bro. Yeah, Guantanamo like, but Eptonamo. Yeah, I got a rhyme where it's like I prefer New Coke over classic they just because it's controversial, because nobody
thinks that. Like nobody liked it. Yeah. But I was talking about cocaine. The announcement there's, the company said at Cracker Barrel, it's always been and always will be about serving up delicious, warm, delicious food, warm welcomes and a kind country and the kind of country hospitality that feels like family. As a proud American institution, our 70,000 hard working employees look forward to welcoming to meet you to the table soon. It's founded in Lebanon, TN.
There are no more than 600 across the US. They have a front porch with rocking chairs and a gift shop. Overhyped gift shop. Gift shop sucks. Hard to disagree. Like I, I, I'm telling you there's one right here in my. Cock Cassidy, dude, it's get you. You see that Cracker Barrel in?
Your, I was, no, I was just surprised by the gift shop also, though I did buy a bunch of I forget what they are like what it was, it was some sort of like sweet treat that like doesn't like it's like not available like other places. So I bought like 3 different like flavors of it and it was like $40. I was like, what the fuck? Like I just thought I was like buying like, you know, like some like $3 cupcakes type shit. But like the little trinkets
like mushrooms and stuff. I was like surprised by it was like a little bit trippy. Be trippy, man. Well then my point is like, it wasn't like all like hardcore. It wasn't like fucking confederate flag type shit. So they're, well, obviously. Well, I don't know. About they sell that in the back. They sell that in the back. Yeah, come on, man. Over with the roofies. So I was watch this guy and he was talking about all of these rebrandings.
Pizza Hut, McDonald's, Burger King, how Starbucks, and now Cracker Barrel, how they're changing the concept, Waffle House, changing the concepts, the designs of what their property looks like. Because like, the largest commercial real estate owner in the entire US is McDonald's. So they own all of the buildings that they put a McDonald's in. If you open up a franchise, you pay them rent to McDonald's and then you operate the business. And the locations are strategic.
So it's like right off the freeway, you know, it's like, it's like it's so it's like actual good real estate. Yeah, you're exactly right. I learned about this in Business School. So what they what they're what's happening right now with a lot of these brands, Cracker Barrel is the porches, the lighting, the logo, the design, the specs that make a Cracker Barrel or Cracker Barrel or a McDonald's with a play place with the crazy roof that we used to always have
when we were kids. Those are so specific and niche that if you want to sell that building at that place fails. It's harder to get rid of the building because it's so, so specific. Like how many times have you seen an old Pizza Hut that had dine in that's closed, that's still sitting there because it's got that weird Pizza Hut roof with the red? Tie, I see what you're saying.
And so be so. A lot of these companies are now taking a switch to a more like neutral, beige, Gray, very, very bland building and doing away with. A lot of get the fuck out of there if it doesn't. If they want to get this, if they want to get the fuck out of
there, it's easy to sell. He used an example of he's like, there's if you put a, if there's an old, if there's an old Pizza Hut, an old design Pizza Hut and you sell it and you put a Vape store in it, people are going to be like the Vape store.
It's going to be, yeah, the Vape store that's in that old Pizza Hut. But that's actually actually, I mean, your boys in sales and marketing, you could like, spend that like, pretty like, tightly like, like that's like an old T-shirt like that you had in high school that like, you like, got over. But then like now you're 35 and it's cool again. You know, it's like that. You're wearing it like, you know what I'm saying? It's like, bro, the dispensary. Is it the old Blockbuster?
Like that's. Yeah. But block. But Blockbuster was pretty neutral. But you. Know what I'm saying? OK. Like like I was just thinking of businesses that have gone out like. Like like like if it's an old Rosa's Cafe, Rosa's Cafe is in. Texas, or like an old school Taco Bell. Yeah, like those are really hard. To but it but it's a dispensary. Yeah, I know. So it's going to be a business like that that's going to want the property.
But if you want somebody to come in and buy it and sell it for top dollar, the more neutral it is, the the less you have, the more it the property. 'S right, right, right, right but. So they're looking to increase. Their profits on the back end total totally get it.
I I get why they would be doing it like trying to make it like neutral in case I have to get the fuck out case shit hits the fan which it seems like it probably will in like 3 years whenever your boy like decides not to leave. You know Velveeta, Voldemort, I get that. But my point is if they had a guy like me, I saw the shit out of that. I I'd make it like a fucking value add. I'd I'd make them pay more than it looked like a fucking McDonald's.
Then you should get your real estate license. So we'll see. I mean, I don't get the big fuss over the logo and the goofy old white guy, but. I mean, I I do because people are stupid. Well, I know I get that part. I just don't know how they get to that. There's the the stupidity. I don't. I can't make that. Leap Well, well, what I was going to say was like, just look at our boys over at HBOHBO Max, HBO Now, HBO, Oh yeah, just Max, they, they changed it seven times in like 3 years.
Like that's the that is the epitome of what we're talking about. And they could get away with it because they're HBO. No, they could. I mean, they barely got away with it except for the boy David Zasloff. Like the CEO just gets paid $51 million a fucking year. Like shit. The stocks like in the fucking like gutter. It's like you have like the most like iconic, like like respected
brand in media, HBO. Everybody thinks like anything that comes out on HBO is going to probably be good, right? And then he's like, now it's just called Max. I was like, what are you a fucking moron? Like, but that that's kind of like what you're saying is like it's like, it's like they just like are trying to be generic. They're trying to be like risk adverse when it's like. When it comes to certain things, but it's.
So hard to build that brand equity like, you know, like you'll like, it would take decades for some company, like for Netflix. Do you even get respect like HBO has? You know, yeah. And you just piss it away by like, 'cause you want to just like, change the shit up. Yeah, article #3 AI dead bots are persuasive and researchers say Researchers say they're
primed for monetization. AI avatars of deceased people, or dead bots are showing up in new and unexpected contexts, including where they have the power to persuade. They're giving interviews advocating for tougher gun laws, such as when the family of Joaquin Oliver, victim of a 2018 Parkland shooter, created a beanie wearing AI avatar of him to speak with journalist Jim Acosta in July.
This is just another advocacy, advocacy tool to create the urgency that makes people urgency of making the things change. Weird anime. A bearded AI avatar of Chris Pelkey, A deceased victim of a road rage incident in Arizona, gave an impact statement at a sentencing of a man who fatally shot him. Stanley created the dead bot. I feel that it was genuine, said the judge after hearing the AI generated impact statement and then handed down the maximum sentence.
Well, so did the judge. Didn't know that it was AI. No, he did. He just said like, I feel like that. I feel like I feel that that was genuine. I hate when people say that, that yeah. So he heard the statement and it was just read by an AI. When people say that that like the the word that the word that twice in a row, yeah, I hate, I hate when I when I get that in an e-mail and I have to like figure it. Out. Hey, this is Judge Todd Lang. We got another ang in here.
Dude. We had Yang Lang and Lang Mark's on his hang. Hey, got him looking like Ang. That's a take K-47 line free take K. If if Oprah was born 200 years ago, she'd be Hang. So yeah, so he this road rage guy killed Pelkey, killed Pelkey and his family, wrote a statement and then created AAI generated version of the shooting victim to. I cannot believe, cannot believe that the defense, the defense like let that be entered into court.
It's an impact statement, so you can't really do shit at that point. He's already been. Yeah, you can. I guess you could. It's AI though. Objection. No, no, no. It has to be like given to the defense ahead of time. Like this is the evidence that we're going to provide and then has to be agreed upon by the judge. So like this is OK unless they just like Willy nilly just like fucking played it. And so like, oh, that'd be weak. It's not even going to be that
believable. And then they play it and he's like, shit, that was really good. Fuck, I'm done. I'm screwed. Yeah, well, they're not shitty lawyers. The digital afterlife industry. That is going on back the fuck up. OK, so So what you're saying is these people are dead because like we've talked about on the podcast about like uploading your memory, you know, so like so this is just like AI generated of what this person might have said, but then it looks like. Or you'd be. But you could.
Well, no. You could make it say whatever you wanted. So you so like the mom could just type out like a statement and then just and then make it look like like her dead son was saying it. And that's immiscible in court. That's what we're doing. Judge said that that, that, that, that, that, that looks genuine. Dude, that that, that, that, that that seems not fair and. Yeah, it's pretty fucked up.
Obviously not OK And like that's a that's a slippery ass slope, if that's even like continuing past like this. The. Also, by the way, by the way, Joseph and I had a special interview with a guy, a bail bondsman, the the spokesperson of bail bondsman in Texas about cashless bail. Yeah, I just saw a headline earlier today that Trump passed a bill that ending cashless bail. Quick update.
The afterlife industry, which manages a person's digital assets after death, is expected to quadruple in size to nearly $80 billion over the next decade. That includes the creation of dead bots. The more immersive these bots become, the more technology companies are exploring their commercial potential, causing concern in the research community and elsewhere.
This is powerful rhetoric with a dead bot because it's tapping into all that emotion, longing and vulnerability it, said New Yorker cartoonist Amy Cruzenwheel Kurtzville. Her work? OK, So what if what if it was like somebody like Mark Twain? Wait, he's just going to say the N word and be like sorry man, it was my time. No. Product of the. Times no what? Like not even. But like what? Mark Twain was like, like, like, like, like. More progressive than I know.
I'm just What would Mark Twain say that would be relevant to now? Oh. All all sorts of shit. I just but. Like, no, I know. Well, you could make him say whatever, but I'm saying is it'd be it depends like the connect. Like if you just read like, like, just like quotes from Mark Twain, they like, like easily could be applied to like, like what's happening right now, like he's like. People would use him in a way that's not going to be for that It's. Like, well, no, I get that.
I get that. No, I get that part. My, my, OK, this is what I'm saying. Is there a difference between using like historical famous dead people AI versus your son died in a car accident when he was 27 and we're using it in a court case. You know what I'm saying? And, and it's like, it's like, like like the Tupac, like hologram at fucking like Coachella, Coachella or. Whatever. Yeah, yeah, Coachella, you know, like that's what I'm trying to say. It's like, like, like there's a
balance to this. And like I used to sell like Zippos wholesale and like I would and like they would buy like a display for like 190, like 192. And then they would just like ask me to pick them out. And it's just like all like Bob Marley, Tupac. It's like all like all Jimi Hendrix, you know, like it's like all these like families like cashing in on like their namesake and it feels like that would like I could see that happening like with AI and. But it's a Gray area.
So like, that's what I'm saying. Are they going to have to pay these families, right? Well, if they don't have to. No, no, they will. No, that's what I'm saying. I think these families are going to license the shit out, No? Probably. But using it in court? Are we kidding? Unless it was like a suicide note that that person wrote or something you know?
Yeah. That makes sense to me, 'cause then maybe it's like, OK, it's like maybe like that letter doesn't describe or like maybe it's like it, it like you get like the impact of what they were saying more like if you get like AAI video of them saying it, but as long as it was like
their words. But if it's just like somebody else writing for them and then making it look like them like any of like that AI like vocals that I put out like on my music I wrote like, you know, it's like I like I would never like have AI like fucking like like put vocals out and write the shit for me. It's like, it's like, Nah, it's like I'm either writing it and singing it myself or covering somebody else's song, or if it's AI doing the vocals, like I'm
writing the lyrics, like I'm not like just like letting like a robot just like handle this and like, I don't know, it just feels awful to me. Yeah, this is a quote. Ethically, I think using dead people is not sound at all, said Camille Chang, head of content for AI marketing company Next, which is currently developing AI avatars for professional basketball teams to use in advertising campaigns. Only they're working with living athletes, not dead ones.
Why the hell would I want my grandma to say anything that's not authentic? Alex Quinn, CEO of Authentic Interactions Incorporated, the parent company of Deadbot creator Story File. It would really turn me off as a consumer, and I don't think that leaves us with any high level, with a high level of reputation. But Quinn said he's absolutely interested in seeing if there's other ways to make Deadbots ad
friendly. One scenario could involve inserting ads into people's conversations with dead bots. Just like how traditional commercial breaks pop up during TV shows, we can instruct those avatars to actually probe for intubation. You know, who's your favorite athlete? What jersey might you be interested in? So I mean, yeah, I mean, that's what I'm saying is even he's like, that's terrible.
But I am interested to see how we can make money off of this and fucking use it. But that I don't like it. But you know what? I like it, so it's gonna happen. It's just kind. Of weird, you know, you know who's gonna be the first like, well, I wouldn't say first, but for sure, like, I don't know, victim's the right word but. Elvis. No, Snoop Dogg do. You think? Snoop Dogg's in once he passes away, God willing, it's like 100 years from now.
But like, Oh, yeah. But like, there will still be Snoop Dogg commercials after he dies. Like Super Pizzle. Yeah. Like where It's like AI Snoop Dogg. Like it's not even him like. You want to clean your floor, you got to get a swiftful swift like. Yeah, him and Shaq. It's just like, well, that's. What I'm saying but you can name off like if they start doing this. I'm talking about like, yeah. Like, what's their dad when they're when they're not here? Shaq. Snoop Dogg.
The entire 27 club the. Madonna. The entire 27th club like. Elvis, they're all yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Tupac, Biggie, all of them did. Diddy no AI Diddy last article Trump moves to ban flag burning. He's burning. He's signing an executive order to ban flag burning, which is fucking stupid. I already thought that was a law. It is. You can't like use a flag to like start your BBQ, but you can burn a flag in protest. It's freedom of speech. That's what I thought.
Yeah, I know. Oh, so you're saying that no longer? That first? Well, no, I mean what? What if the flag? What if? What if the flag was made in China? It's going to get, it's going to get challenged because it's been a, it's like, I mean, it's not a super precedent, but it's a precedent that it's been the 1st. What if it's a Confederate flag? Yeah, that's fine. It better be fucking fine. You can start your BBQ with that.
I cannot. Wait. But it's stupid because I think the first case was in 1989, then there was another court case that upheld it in 90 where it's been challenged by the Supreme Court. There's a guy arrested for like, burning one not in protest in front of the White House the other day. So the next day, Trump's like, I'm setting an executive order trying to make it a minimum of one year in jail and get the Department of Justice to like, prosecute these people.
But it's stupid, like I said, because this is going to get challenged. It's going to get upheld by the Supreme Court that you can in protest. It's just no, don't, do not be so sure about that, bro. I wish, I wish, I wish we could be sure about that. I do not trust the Supreme Court right now. Yeah, I I trust them more than I did, which isn't very much. I I don't know. I don't know. I did. If they were as bad as I thought they were going to be, they wouldn't give push back on
anything. I don't understand why they give a fuck about anything. They have lifetime appointments bro. They're the third branch of government equal branch. Like they could tell Trump to go fuck himself and like it wouldn't matter. Like you can't fire him. Like like that's why I just that's why I don't trust him. It's like it's like y'all are like bending the fucking knee dude. It's like I I don't even get it with the Supreme Court. Dude bro, they overturned Roe V Wade.
Well, yeah, but that was a lifelong goal. Right. But three of them testified in front of Congress saying that they wouldn't do it, and then within a year they did it. No, I know they're full of shit. That's why I don't trust them. That's all I'm saying. Well, we'll see, but he's trying to be signed an executive. Well, also also also Elon, Elon and and you maggot magtards like over fucking like freedom of speech.
We we can't burn flags anymore. Like you guys made it illegal to like support Palestine like out of college. You know, it's like we thought there was like ultimate freedom of speech. Shout out Gaza, listen to the pod. Oh, I mean, there's not really much more to say about. This or the West Bank? He's just trying to do it. No, I know. Well, yeah, And that's the thing.
And that's how you know, Trump is weak is because he has to do executive orders because he can't get shit put through Congress, because he's not a real fucking powerful dude. So he has to like, try to act like a king. It's like executive order. Executive order because he, because he don't actually like have like money moves, dude. Like it's like you can't get shit through Congress because your shit sucks. He's got no motion. He just did. I don't even get it.
It's like I don't understand his mentality. Lost in lost in the sauce. Totally. It's like, I like, is Stephen Miller really like, like hypnotized his motherfucker or what? Like, why would he even care? Like, why wouldn't he just, like, enjoy life being president? Like chill the fuck out, Yeah. True. Watch it for articles. Meditate, bitches. Make sure y'all like, follow, subscribe, share, leave a comment, whatever. We appreciate y'all listening. Shout out Gaza listening to the pod.
That's fucking awesome. Good. Show. And yeah, y'all just be good, be safe, don't take any Trazodone. Definitely not. Public service announcement. And as always, go fuck yourselves. But not me for two weeks. Yeah, two weeks off. I guess a week now. Layoff Goody's piece. Or doubt, shout out.