Imposter Syndrome, Rejection, Doing It All, & Relationships

very specifically to the holidays. But now we're kind of just in real life. It's into April, we're starting to get into summertime, and I wanted to check in and see how everybody was doing and share the things that they've been struggling with right now. So we're doing the similar aspect in hopes that maybe even more people are getting reached because I know the episodes I do are on very specific topics and we really dive deep into

those things. So this is more broadened and it can hit so many different levels, and I'll offer advice where I can, or just an open space for you to feel heard. Maybe it's something that you submitted, or maybe it's something somebody else submitted and you're like, dang, I'm not alone. Those are the goals that we want to accomplish in this episode kicking things off, we've got a

societal pressure on women after turning thirty. I don't know if you guys heard my episode with my parents, and I know the microphones were a little off and it was kind of funky, But I'm really lucky that I've always had parents who never pushed the whole marriage kids thing on me. They kind of knew I was going to do my own thing, as were all of their and they wanted us to be happy. That was the most important thing they wanted over us hitting some landmark

goal of marriage, kids, a home, all that stuff. So I did grow up very lucky in that sense. Now, as a society, people believe that women the only thing they're supposed to accomplish is being a mother and having a ring on their hand and the woman to take care of their man. That's a very big belief still amongst a lot of people, and I love that for some people, if those are things that they truly want. But I learned really early that that wasn't going to be a path for me. I mean as a kid,

I grew up, you know, white picket fence. I wanted four kids, the husband and all the things. And I still want those things, but it's certainly evolved in a lot of different ways. And what I thought would be marriage at twenty one and you know, my career and all of these things. No, I mean we're a decade later. I'm thirty one years old, I'm not married. I have a dog and a cat. I foster animals, and I do have my dream job, and I do own a house,

but I don't have a husband. And if you looked at me and old societal standards, I'm a failure for that. But I don't think that I am. I think I'm a huge success actually, So when I start to think about societal pressure, I kind of think of it in funny terms, and I'm like, can you just imagine now, once upon a time they thought someone like me was not a success story because I didn't worth kids yet and I didn't say vows to somebody at an altar.

Those are the two things we're determining of a success of a woman in her thirties. Jokes on them, because I actually think there's so many more incredible things you can accomplish in your lifetime than just that those things are incredible. Getting married and having a baby are so exciting, and I've made it really important to me and some of my friends to celebrate more than just that. We

celebrated when I released this podcast. We celebrated when one of my friends got accepted to move into an apartment. We celebrated when somebody adopted two dogs. We celebrate more than just those moments in my friendships. Focusing on those things has really blurred the lines of societal pressure for me. So if you're feeling that way, start celebrating the really cool things in your life in the big moments when they come and when they happen. Don't wait for those

moments of the baby shower and the wedding shower. Celebrate everything that you're successful at, and it kind of takes the power away from what society has taught us. Struggling with losing a job after ten years and starting over, rejection and all the things, gosh, I can't imagine. I know a lot of people are going through this. I've seen so many people in recent years losing jobs they've had for decades or years, and they're having to start

over and figure things out. And it is always kind of that cheesy saying of rejection is redirection, and I do believe it in a way, but I also just think that's kind of a cop out to tell somebody when they're really struggling. Like, first, we need to recognize that this is a person who is now in a really uncomfortable, vulnerable position. They don't have a job, and job security is everything. It can change the course of your life. So I want to recognize to this person

who wrote this in that that sucks. Losing a job absolutely sucks, and you didn't deserve it. But I do know that there will be a better outcome because of this, and you are the only one that can determine that. Can there be a worse outcome? Sure, could you be unemployed for a long time, yeah, absolutely, but I also believe that you can find a better job. And maybe this is a moment in your life where you were scared to get a little uncomfortable, because comfortability is amazing.

You know how many times I've never wanted to get uncomfortable. I'm like, oh gosh, don't put me through that. I just let me keep doing my monotonous things every day because it's just easier. But maybe this is the universe screaming, hey, let's find something new for you that you really love and that you're really passionate about. And I do like to think that some moment like this will set you on a path that's going to be better. And mindset

is everything. If you believe that for yourself, then that's what's going to happen. Never going to take away the fact that this sucks and you feeling rejection is very real, but it's not you. Losing a job doesn't have to do with you. Of course, in moments it does. Is there something that could have happened or you could have done? Sure, but people lose their jobs every day and being rejected

from that does suck. However, being rejected from something is a way of saying, hey, this wasn't right for you. And I've had a lot of lessons in rejection, so I can tell you that Unfortunately, every time rejection has been correct, there was a reason that that didn't work out for me. So I do like to believe that there is better things coming for you, and I'm not going to tell you though. Redirection rejection is redirection been quite down since Christmas, and I can't shake it words

of advice or something. I mean, gosh, I hate this for you. Seasonal depression is also a very real thing, and just depression in general is a really real thing. I think you start got to get out of your comfort zone to shake this and my moments of depression, one of the hardest things that I ever wanted to do was leave my house and just even go for a walk, be outside. Even in my life now, when I get so caught up in everything that's happening, I

stop taking care of myself. I literally stop showering and eating good meals and taking my dog on a walk because I have so many other things I have to do and that's not good for me. I've realized it. I mean, you're hearing my voice right now, and I'm a little bit sick. And it's because I've ran my body so ragged. And when I was in depressive episodes, I would notice something similar happen where I wasn't taking

care of myself. So plan a day where you can set aside and focus on things that you really love to do, I mean really love. It. Could be doing a puzzle, It could go on a hike. It could be watching your favorite movie. Spend an entire day doing things that only fill up your cup. Forget all of the adult responsibilities for the day. The laundry can wait,

Vacuuming the house can wait. Your job can be set aside for a day a week, and whenever you have off and focus your energy solely on bringing joy back into your life. And it's gonna be hard when you feel off because it's the last thing you want to do, is like bring joy and serotonin. But the only person who can do that for you is you. So take that time. Set up a day only things you enjoy. I'm not kidding. Cancel everything else, block out a whole day,

go get a massage, listen to music on repeat. What whatever it is. It could be all the free things. It could be spending a lot of money on yourself. Whatever you need to do, but find your way to bring joy back into your life. Whenever I focused and did that, I felt myself turned corners And I do hope that helps for you. Leadership support when you live with a chronic illness. I was messaging somebody on Instagram about this. This was the person who sent it in

And this is really tough, right. We are in a time. You guys have heard a few episodes now with a few different experts and people talking about chronic illnesses and things that people are experiencing right now, and it's tough. Everybody's going through so many things and finding jobs and managers and gosh, even people who you rent from to understand what you're experiencing, because chronic illness affects so much

more than just your body. It also affects your job, the people in your life, et cetera, et cetera, So having support from people above you is hard. I think some of that comes from lack of understanding. There's lack of empathy for sure, too, and you know you can't make people empathize. But one thing that we can do is be honest and open about the things that we're experiencing. Too often we're afraid to have those conversations and be honest about it and really be honest about how bad

it is. So but do it in a way that like you're not jeopardizing your job. Right, You don't go and say, oh my gosh, I can't do X, Y and Z. But I do think we go to our leadership and have a one on one conversation with them and just say, hey, I'm really struggling with this, and I know there's going to be times that this may impact me, but I promise that I'm going to do

everything in my power to complete the job. And I just want to know that we're on the same page and we're working for the same team here because I don't want this to impact my job, I don't want it to impact you, but I also am going to have moments where this is going to happen. It's really easy for us to just expect, you know, people to understand and empathize and have compassion, but we're sorely lacking

that in a lot of ways. We get really caught up in our own I even do it like I caught up in my own life and gosh, all the things that are happening in mind that I can kind of forget that. Oh yeah, other people are experiencing a crap ton of things too, saying goes for managers and bosses and management, they're not thinking about this, especially in the ways that you are. So you're gonna have to kind of full frontal say the entire plan and kind of lay it out in order for you just start

to find some sort of support in relief. And like I said, that could be difficult given a boss or a manager if they're not open or willing to have these conversations or they see it as a problem. So definitely like plan and have the things you want to say out, but do it in a way that's supportive to you, not like putting you in a bad light, because having chronic illness is not your fault and you shouldn't be punished for that. So really meticulously pay attention

to how and what you're going to say. But I do think conversations are so important on the topic of chronic illness. I got a message from Brittany who wrote into me saying she would love to talk about being a mom to kids with chronic health conditions, and I really wanted to give her the space to share this because I think there's many moms, parents, dads out there who can relate to what she is sharing and wants to make sure other parents feel seen and understood on this level.

it's very scary. There's a lot of fear of the unknown, and you really have to more in the life that you thought you were going to have. My five year old she'll eventually outgrow her food allergies, but my eight year old, she won't grow out of type one diabetes. And when she was diagnosed, it was super scary and it felt like our world got flipped upside down. I went from knowing how to take care of my child to learning how to give insulin shots and count carbs

so that we could properly dose her insulin. And while they do the best they can to teach you in the hospital, it's a crash course and it doesn't make it easy to feel confident in what you're doing. We've been doing this now for about seven months, and I'm only just now feeling confident in us going out to eat or going to a birthday party and having an idea of how to accurately dose her insulin without having

a scale to measure the amount of food. It's been challenging as a parent to know that at the end of the day, I'm doing the best that I can and that's all I can do as a mom. I know the it feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. But it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to feel sad that your life looks different than what you thought it was.

girls more than anything. But it's it has been a change for us that, while difficult, has brought us all closer together. And while like I said, I miss our old life, I wouldn't change any of it. If anybody's out there dealing with a chronic health condition with their kids and it's new and it's scary, just know it gets better and it won't be scary once it's not new anymore. Anything new is scary because we don't know

what to expect. But allow yourself to feel sad, allow yourself to more in the life you thought you were going to have, but embrace the life you were given and just love your kids and know it gets better.

so wild. I had kind of started seeing a guy and I think we were about to kind of have our fourth date, and the first few days were so great, but then he started to just back off, and I was like, I don't know where I stand with that guy. And when you don't know where you stand with somebody. It's a bad thing, even in the early stages, because it's so easy for someone to say, Hey, I like you, I want to see you. Hey I don't like you. This is not working out for me. Those two things

are actually easy to say if you have a heart. Unfortunately, so if anybody ever makes you feel like you don't know where you stand with him, it's a red flag, and it's gonna to tell you a lot more about a person very quickly. Then. I think a lot of us want to give credit to and our guts are always spot on about that we kind of just shove them away, you know. He started to like somebody get excited.

It's fun to be excited about somebody. I was excited about that guy for a brief second, and then I realized, I don't want to be with somebody where I have to question how I feel and what he feels. That's not fun for me. So that's not a good thing. So consistency kind of falls in a red green flag in a way, like I'm paying attention to this and it's either going to turn into a red flag or

a green flag. I did an episode about my abusive relationship, which was really one of the first times I've talked about that. So this is in These next two questions are in relation to that, after getting out of a narcissistic and abuse relationship, how to feel safe in a new one, how to stop all the overthinking and reading way too much into every little thing. I'm currently with an amazing guy about to get married in October, but I have days where I'm thinking, when is this going to blow up?

show me? Who are you? This isn't real? And it teeters on this fact that I have to allow this person to not be responsible for the things that I've been through, but also hold this person accountable that I

don't experience the same things that I've already experienced. And that's really hard to teeter because this other person deserves respect and your genuine heart and giving them the opportunity, especially this person send for you who has proposed to you and you're about to get married to, giving them the opportunity to show you that not all people are like that. But there is a protection level, and I

don't think protection ever goes away. I think you learn to cope with it, and I think you learn to understand it and move through it. And at the end of the day, something that I'm really fighting hard to teach myself is that the other shoe could always drop. But am I really going to keep living my life in new relationships and new friendships and new anything like the shoe is always going to drop? Do I deserve that? Do I deserve to sit there and always be anxious?

Or do I deserve to dive in and allow good things to happen to me? Because I deserve good things to happen to me. And I think you're probably in that similar place. But clearly, this is a person that you are with who you do feel safe with, and you feel good enough to be engaged to him, and there is always always the possibility that the shoe will drop, But you have to trust yourself enough to know to get out when the shoe does drop, and to pick yourself back up when that shoe does drop. You have

to put the trust back in who you are. It took a lot of time for me to understand trusting in myself and trusting that I was making the right choices for myself and relationships after that one. So a lot of what you're experiencing in this shoe drop, and I can only tell you this because I know the feeling and I'm currently experiencing it, is that you have to trust that you've healed and done the work and that you made the right choice until they prove you otherwise.

You can only base your data off of the information that you've been given and the information that you've been given so far. As this is a person who is amazing and wants to marry you. But the minute that ever changes, you know what to do. You know you'll get out, you know you'll do better. So why you and me, girlfriend, are we sitting here and being like, dang the other she's gonna drop sometime soon. Huh, Let's stop doing that both of us, girlfriend, because I got

to too. Okay, I do. I'm in this with you. If you have a friend family member in a toxic relationship, What are the right things to say to help them see what's happening, And how can we truly help someone see what's going on and how it looks from the outside. I was having a conversation with somebody about this today and that person who is experiencing something with one of their kids. It's who was like kind of having an experience that I was having, and he wanted a kid's

perspective when he's a parent. And I think the best thing that we can offer people when they are in relationships that we don't support is our support. And I'm not saying that you have to be there all the time. If you've gosh, it's gotten so toxic and you're just like in it, and you're like, I cannot keep offering this person my undenying support every single time they call

or text me. That's fine, and I understand that, but letting them know like, hey, I love you, and I don't agree with this decision and I don't agree with this relationship, but I am always going to have your back and I'm always going to support you. And when the time comes that this does or doesn't happen, I'm here no matter what allows people who are in those relationships to feel safe enough. It like plants a seed that when they finally realize for themselves, they don't feel

scared getting out of it. I was talking to my dad the other day after he listened to my podcast episode on the abusive relationship. But my parents knew after everything happened, and he still like kind of beats himself up because he was like, I wish we could have done more, And I had told him, you guys did you? Guys supported me, You loved me, you trusted me to make decisions for myself, and you helped me as soon

as I was ready. Truth be told, we can't make people make a decision until they're ready in anything, not just relationships, but in things that they're dealing with in their own lives. Until somebody is ready to accept what's going on in their life and make a change, we can't change that for them. So the best thing that we can do is offer them love and support and

kindness in those scenarios however you are able to. Again, this does not mean you need to be so close to somebody that like you're there for them at their beck and call for the years that they want to keep talking about something. I know that as someone who's in this, nobody had that obligation to me. They shouldn't have. And I did lose friends and stuff over but the moment that I was ready to get out, I knew that I was still loved and supported, so I knew

that I could go to them. And that's where it becomes really important to just allow people to make their own mistakes and decisions. And truthfully, you can only tell them one time, like hey, I don't support this, and I don't think this is going to be something that's beneficial for your life, but I love and support you like that conversation can really only happen one time, because if you keep pushing that like I don't see this, I don't understand, all you're going to do is push

them further and further away into the opposite direction. So say it once, say where you stand, like very proud and definitive, and know with like your deepest depth to them that like you love them and support them. And I do think in the bigger picture that's your more beneficial situation in my experiences, and I know that that's really hard for some people even for me. I want to help people get out of stuff. I'm a challenger. I'm going to push you to do better things for

your life. So I had to learn this also because I put myself in this situation. So now being in it, I can understand when it's not my role to play, it's somebody else's role to play in our own life. Living in a busy job life, how do you nurture your friendships as well as alone time? I mean you did just hear me. I don't do well with the lone time. Clearly. I haven't taken a lot of time to shower, or eat or clean my house recently because gosh, guys,

life is smacking me in the face. I feel like I have not had any time and that's just the reality. Like I'm gonna give you some moments here of stuff that's really important to me and how I try and focus energy in different places. But I'm gonna tell you

right now like I'm drowning. Honest to god, I am struggling in a lot of ways to find my balance with this new podcast, in my life, with having a full time job, with maintaining friends, with trying to date, with trying to foster animals, which is really important to me, with Remy and I doing therapy work with staying healthy and focused on my health, which is really struggling right now, like I am drowning. Honestly, there's days I come on from work and all I want to do is sleep,

and I don't have the time to sleep. So I do really well a lot of the time. But then there's moments like this where holy crap, I'm barely hanging on for dear life and I don't suggest it. Honestly, I really don't. Like I feel successful and I feel proud, and this podcast is so important to me, and all the things that are in my life are so important to me, and that's why I keep pushing through it.

But I think it's really important to have balance. And when I'm really busy like this, I try really really hard. Even if I can't show up physically, like I'm texting my friends, I will call them. I will send them food or buy them coffee, like send Venmo and buy

them buy them some coffee. Like if I can't show up physically, I always try and show up in another way, or or I try and make up for the time that I'm not there physically, because so much of friendship is wanting to be seen and heard and loved, And if I want people to do that for me in my life and show up for me, then I have to make the time to do that for other people.

It's just like it's a requirement. But there are moments in my friendships where like I text them, I'm like, you, guys are not going to see me for like three weeks, I'm dead, leave me alone, And they get it because we've established such good basis when I am in a healthy space and I do have the time, even like in dating, like very early on in relationships, I'm like, no, no, no, it is important and imperative to me that I spend

time with my friends without you. I still want you involved and I still want you there, and there's gonna be a lot of time we're all together. But I also need to continue to nurture my friendships like I have made that such an important requirement because I was in relationships before where I lost friendships and I will never let that happen again. So I just really put it high on the totem pole because the most important thing about our lives is connection and community. Like everything

else be damned. Connection and community is genuinely what keeps us alive and living, and you have to foster that. You have to make time for that and make time for it in the ways that you can. If you have kids, bring the kid along. I don't know how many times I've told my friends, I'm like, I don't care, bring the kid. I just want to see you. I want to hang out with you. Or let me show up to your house and we'll watch a movie with the kid. Like but if you also don't have those friends,

it's telling of those friendships. Find the friends that will do that stuff with you. There's been times where I'm so busy and I have Rimmy and I'm like, guys, I can't leave Remy. Like I've been so busy, I have not paid attention to her. I need to spend time with her, and they're like, cool, bring her, or let's go to a patio where she can come. Understanding your friendships and how busy everybody is is really important,

and that's how you're gonna nurture it and alone time. Man, if you guys figured that one out, let me know, because I'm also still working on that I'll try and schedule myself some like random massages and that's kind of where it comes. Or I'll go on a walk with Y and those are kind of where I recharge. But true alone time and stuff, I don't think I've gotten there yet. We're still working on that. Grief depression and

its toll on relationships. You know, at one point in my relationships, I dated a guy who was bipolar, and it really did pay a heavy toll on our relationship because so much of his experiences would blur the lines in our relationship, Like if he was having episodes, you would have like good swings and bad swings kind of to go along with what was hap happening with him.

And that relationship ended up ending because like all he wanted to do was push me away because he didn't want me to also experience those things, and so much of that relationship And now having experienced like a partner like that, and also myself having gone through multiple moments of grief and depression, I can tell you that the best thing you can ever do is have an open

line of communication. I wish so many times that he would have just talked to me, and I know that in the moments where I was so depressed that I wish someone would have allowed me to talk to them, or that I would have felt comfortable enough to have conversations. When we feel deep sadness, deep grief, deep depression, the last thing we really want to do is open up. But it's actually the one thing that can help us

through it. And again, I know that's so hard, and there's gonna be moments of those bouts and those experiences where you're not gonna want to talk to people. But even just saying hey, I'm struggling with this, I don't want to talk about it, but this is what's happening in my life right now is so important. Doesn't mean you have to sit there and say, hey, I want to have an hour long conversation about the depression that's

going on in my head. Like you can just say, hey, I'm really depressed right now and I don't know what I need and I don't know what's happening to me, but I really need your support. That communication alone can be the difference between this not taking a toll on your relationship. So much has to do with communication, and it's not the end all be all fixed, because trust me,

there's gonna be more battles than just that communication. But I think being able to communicate your needs and what's happening to you and if it's you and everyone around you, and that's a really good place to start. And also giving yourself grace that you're experiencing these things because no one should have to, and making sure that you choose a partner that does have empathy and compassion. That's such

an important tool. I remember telling one of my girlfriends when they were in town, I really need to find a partner who has the same level of empathy that I do, because not only do I have so many like mental health struggles, but I had so much empathy for other people that when I kept dating these people who really lacked, we were always butting heads because it just didn't make sense. We were never on the same page.

So I think when you're someone who struggles with these things, you need to find someone who has compassion and empathy. But also on that same level, you cannot take advantage of someone with compassion and empathy because you have these struggles, which is something that I faced in one of those ex situations with the guy who is bipolar. I felt like I was kind of taken advantage of because of my empathy and understanding, which is how I got cheated on.

But that's story for a different day. Would your twelve year old self be proud of you? Now, this was a thing that we talked about on the Bobby Bone Show, and I really thought about this question. I think my twelve year old self would be so so proud of where come. I think she would be in shock that I have CMA awards and ACM awards sitting on my walls,

and she'd be shocked that I'm helping people. But I also think she would be concerned for the things that we went through, the bullying, the suicide thoughts, the abusive relationship, not being married yet a lot of those things. I think she'd be like, what the freak happened? Are we okay? And sometimes he answer to that is no, but most of the time yes. So I do think overall she

would be so proud. And this is a cool check in to do, like if you're just going through it or you've had some really big years recently, like do a check in with yourself and be like, would my twelve year old self be proud? And like honestly reflect on that, not because you have done anything wrong and say you took eighty million different turns that you never

thought you would. But I believe that recognizing our younger selves is a really important part of the growing process to understanding who we are and our needs once, dreams, desires. I was recently put on anxiety meds. I grew up in an era where meds were not the answer, So I'm having a hard time accepting these will help me

and that it's okay to use them. You know, this is super tough because when I was going through the bullying situation and I was having depression suicidal thoughts, I was on depression medicine and I really felt numb during that part of my life. Whether it was the meds or the things that I was experiencing, probably a combination of both. But every time I would open up that medicine and it, I was so disappointing in myself. I was so sad that I had reached a point where

I needed help that to that extent. But I look back on that now and I'm mad at myself for getting mad at myself, because it's like if you break your arm and you go to the doctor and you're like, I broke my arm and they're like, okay, let's put a sling on or you need to have surgery, let's fix this, and you get it fixed. That same thing is what's happening when you have a mental health problem.

You're getting medication because you're struggling with something. You're dealing with a physical issue and situation that's happening in your body, and you're trying to heal it, whether that's with medicine or all kinds of other things. But recognizing that just because it's mental health, does it make it any less serious and more important to heal or take medicine than

if you were to have a physical injury. And I wish someone would have told me that correlation, because I really focus on the fact that what I was experiencing was invisible to everybody else, even though it was very real to me. But because it was invisible to everybody else, taking the medication made me feel like I was doing something wrong, and you're not. You're literally trying to heal

and take care of your body. Everybody has different body composition and genes and things that are happening in their brain and all you were doing is taking steps to heal yourself. That's it, end of story. So I don't want you to ever feel bad about that, and hopeful utilizing that correlation will allow you to not feel bad about what's happening. Not on topic for your crowd, but I'm struggling with aging. I do actually think this is super odd topic. I have a lot of people, Gosh,

my dad listens to this podcast. Sorry Dad, I'm not saying you're aging. You look great, You're amazing. But there's so many people who listen to this podcast, and there's people who follow me who struggle with this. I can't personally relate at this moment in my life to true, true aging. I'm not old enough yet, but gosh, I

hope I have the privilege to be. But I know that that's a struggle because with aging comes old age and retirement and a lot of people dying and understanding what's happening to your body and the changes you're going through. There's so much that comes with aging, so struggling that is so real, and I think there's a lot of people out there that need to hear that, because you know, it is one of those things where even I just did it in that moment where it was like, gosh,

it's a privilege to age. But I can sit here and say that because I'm thirty one, I haven't hit that point yet. I can't imagine what that's like, sixty seventy eighty ninety years old, and you're like, I'm really struggling with this fact. I can't I can't put myself in those shoes yet. But I can sit here and say that I see you, and I hope you know that you're not alone in that experience, and I hope you're getting to do all the things in your life that you want to and checking off all the boxes,

because that's what life is truly about. Please share your experience moving to Nashville and buying your own home. No man needed. So I loved moving to Nashville. But and

I didn't have a man during any of those experiences. Now, when I moved to Nashville, now, when I lived here at first, not when I bought my house, but I did have my family, and I think that support system was so huge to do all of the things that I was doing, and incredibly supportive parents who really helped me understand a lot of things, and educate me and give me space to do so much stuff that I can't. You say, just because I didn't have a man, I didn't have help, I did have my parents, But I

did move here by myself. I moved here without knowing anybody. And I did buy my home without having a partner. And those things are accomplishments in themselves. And to anybody who's thinking about making a big move and moving away from everything they've ever known, do it. Do it because you will never regret it. And do it because you can always move back home. You can always move back to the place that's comfortable. But what you can never do is get an opportunity to move. Those things don't

come back again. So if you ever get a chance to make a fun change, do it. Is it uncomfortable? Yes? Are you gonna have to make new friends? Yeah, You're gonna have to do all kinds of things. So you never thought you could possibly do it, Yes, but do it anyway. And if you are in the position to buy a home but you're waiting for a partner, don't. I love living by myself. I love that I have

a dog and cat who are my own. I love that I get to choose that I gotta have both of them and did not have to consult somebody else. I love that I can choose anytime I want to bring another animal in and foster it. I love that this space is entirely mine. I love that I get to go out on the backyard and mow my own yard and say yeah, I did that, or my house projects, or all the things that I've accomplished, I did that.

It's very empowering. So if you are in a position, which I know is an incredibly difficult market right now, but if you are in a position to do so and buy your own home and the only thing that you think you are waiting for as a partner, don't because you don't need one man or a woman. You do not need one like go for it. Do it. I believe it's one of the coolest things that will happen in your life. Tips on getting through trauma when

it's left you stuck in life with no purpose. This is really tough because I see in this message that you feel you have no purpose because of whatever you've experienced, and I hate that you feel this way. I hate it for you because you never just to feel that way, whatever it was, whatever this trauma was that you experienced. But let me make something so clear. You have a purpose, and your purpose is you being you beyond anything else.

If you don't go after a dream job, if you don't have a partner, if you don't have friendships, if you don't have anything, you being you is a purpose. That's the only foundation that you need to start over. Which is what it sounds like you're kind of at is this starting over point. But you being you and you having you is the only thing you need to start over and build the life that you've always wanted. You were actually in the best place to create the

life that you've always wanted. A clean slate is something that everybody wants. And I'm not saying you technically have one, because you do have trauma and you had experience that has left you feeling this way. But if you can rewrite that narrative in your head that this is something that created a clean slate for you to start a new journey for yourself, I think you'll start to find

your purpose and also take care of you. I don't have a lot of context, but take care of you, because that's going to be important part of this process too, how do you handle what other people think. I say one wrong thing and dwell on it for months, it gets to me. Honestly, I still don't handle it well. There's sometimes people come at me. I'm like, I, guys, there was one time, I'll be super honest with you, guys. I went down and Reddit thread one time and it

was not a cool experience for me. I had to go straight into therapy. I was like, this is a horrible place and people hate me, and I don't know what I did wrong. There were so many people out there that had so many a pinions of me, and a lot of people who were acting like they really knew me, and they had so many story lines and things about me wrong, and I just had to like let it happen, and I spiraled. I was so not

well for a few days. So I need to make sure it is known that, like, things do get to me. I'm really good a lot of the time about dealing with trolls on social media, but things do still get to me. It still hurts. It's still like augh, like a little shot might be a little pinch, like okay, cool, didn't need to take that one, but then you pinch me one hundred times. Yeah, I'm gonna start to feel that. But at the end of the day, I did learn from my my bullying situation in high school that I

can't make everybody like me. Much to my dismay, I would love to make everybody like me. Heck, I'm pretty sure that was like one of my goals for the first twenty years of my life was that I just want everybody to like me. And I had a really harsh lesson in that bullying when that bully looked at me and said, I just don't like you, and I couldn't do anything about it. But she taught me a very important lesson that it wasn't my job to make everybody like me. It was my job for me to

like me. And I freaking love me. I'm so proud of myself in so many ways. And when you start to really focus on your inner self and pour everything into you, everything outside of that feels so small. And again, there will be moments when it doesn't. I still do. I still feel the arrows in my back, little stab, little knife pain. Majority of the time I can look at that and say, I can't make you like me, and that's okay because I like me, so a lot

of that comes from your inner person. And also I say stupid crap all the time, Like, no, really, I the things that come out of my mouth sometimes shouldn't. So if anybody should be concerned about things that I say, and I should probably take it back. It's for sure me. I word vomit all the time, so most people do. If you feel like you say something and you're like, oh, dang, I shouldn't have said that, most people word vomit. Heck, most of the time, all of us are like literally

just allowing things to come out of our mouth. That's me right now. Things are literally just word vomiting this entire episode. So try not to dwell and sit on things that you've said. I promise you're the only person that's dwelling on that thing now, unless you like said some really hateful stuff, then you might need to have a conversation. But I don't think that's what you're doing. So just remember that nobody else is doing that to

your words, only you. We got to start looking inward, find that confidence in you and love you for who you are and all your quirks and your word vomiting like I'm doing right now, the personal drive to do better. You share so many good and bad things. What keeps

you going? Oh? Man, I got you know, that's a tough question because, like I said, like, there's moments, guys where I don't and there's moments where my depression and suicidal and anxiety and all of these things that are relatively situational for me will come creeping back in, and I'm just like, I like, this week has been so hard to meet, especially with all the health problems that I've been having lately, and I have so much on

my plate. There have been moments where I like, I just don't want to do it, Like I literally want to crawl in a hole and not come back out. But there's something really important to me that I accomplish the things that I set out on this earth to accomplish, even if it comes with bad moments. Like some of my goals in my life at this point. Now, I'm going to save as many animals as I can or

be a part of animals journeys. I really want to write a book for Remy, and I want it to be like a series about Remy and me rescuing her, her becoming a therapy p up, her helping with foster animals like a children's book series. That's something I really want to do, not that I have any of the time for. I want this podcast to continue growing and keep finding incredible interviews and people to come on and topics to have conversations about. And I really, I really

want to change the world. You know that it's a big and hefty goal that I have, but I really want to leave a mark on this world. And that means that I'm gonna have to fight through some really hard moments to make sure that I can continue accomplishing all these all of these goals. So so much of my drive really comes from this desire to just make things happen for myself. For twelve year old me that we were talking about, like, I know, she deserves me

to keep fighting. The young girl who is so driven and what chase streams like nobody's business. She's the one that I keep fighting for. She's what I do this for. And I want her to look at seventy five eighty year old me so many years later and be like, yeah, we did all that, look at the life that we had. I don't ever want to look back on my life right now, twenty years from now, or when I'm on my deathbed. I don't ever want to look back and say I should have done something. And I think that

is the end all, be all drive for me. I don't ever ever want to leave things on the table. It's just not worth it to me. It's not worth the feeling that I'll have if I do journey getting remy therapy trained. Want to try and don't know where to start. So I actually just did an article I'm going to be in an issue coming out in June for in Focus. I got nominated as a fresh Face of philanthropy from Apes Garden, where Remy and I volunteer,

which is just incredible. I genuinely feel so honored. But we were doing the interview process of it and they asked how this kind of started, and I was looking back at my life and I've always been such a massive volunteer, like that was always a huge part of who I was. In middle school, I was the Kay's was it middle school? Was that freshman year high school? Gosh, I don't know. My timeline is so kind of foggy now, but I was the case Area president which was an

organization that really helped organize volunteer events. Volunteers charity organization drives all kinds of stuff, and I loved it so much that I became the area president for it, an area president meaning like of a significant portion of Kansas. And I even went to a camp and there was case camp and we did all this volunteer stuff and I like spoke at it. I had a big speech that I had to do and it was one of

the coolest times of my life. And that kind of kick started me then doing leadership studies in some of my classes in middle school and high school, to then minor in leadership studies in college. And I know, leadership studies like everybody's like, ah, those are the your easy classes. Yeah. No, as you got into them, you were having the most

difficult conversations you've probably ever had in your life. But leadership studies, in a combination of doing so much volunteer stuff really then kickstarted me to then continue volunteering and doing leadership work outside of my life as like a young kid and into my adult life. And I always loved animals. The portion of that happened in college when my girlfriends and I when we lived in a house together our junior year of college, we fostered like twenty

seven animals over the course of one year together. One of my friends like started that, and that sent me on this journey, which is when I'm still on gosh, helping the rescue community and shelters and all kinds of things like that. So that's where that started. And then the two combined when I started volunteering at Kansas Humane and Remy came in as a puppy and I was training get my parents to adopt her, and when they came to meet her, they're like, oh, my gosh, Morgan,

this dog has bonded to you. That is your dog. And they allowed me to get her because I was living with my parents at the time, and honestly, I was at a position that I probably shouldn't have gotten a dog. I just started a new job, I was living with my parents, which is not the time, but we were meant to be together, and so I adopted her and it's been this crazy journey ever since. But when we moved to Nashville before COVID, I actually started looking for volunteer work for stuff for us to do.

COVID kind of like really took that on a turn. But after COVID I kind of started that process up again. And when I was trying to find things that I could do with Remy and volunteer because I didn't want to take a way my time with her because time is so precious, I found therapy work. I was like, dang, Remy would be so good at this. We did a lot of training together when I first got her as a puppy, and she was so well trained already, but she loved people. She loves people more than she likes

other animals, which we have learned. It's always a process. But we found Therapy ARC, which is the organization that we are certified through, and we basically did a preliminary exam with them and they're like, okay, is this even a potential therapy animal. She passed that with Flying Colors. We went through six weeks of training with them, and then after we did the training, we had to take the official exam and her and I both had to

pass because we're a therapy animal team. So like, not only does Remy have to be like the best schools dog ever, but I also had to be a good human partner. To her like, can I hold conversations with people? Do I want to interact in my empathetic do I have compassion? There was so many kind of levels to this, but we took that test and we passed so great. We had a moment there where Remy really wanted to go after some treats, but we still passed. And that

is now where we are today. And she is just the most special dog and she has saved me in so many ways, and she is for sure my soul, my heart dog. And Hazel, I love Hazel's my cat. She's beautiful and incredible. But at this moment in time, Reomy and I have just been through so many things that we have such a crazy special bond. Hazel and I are getting there. We've been together for like two years now, and it's it's so cool. I think animals are one of the greatest things that we have in

our lifetime. All Right, we're nearing the end here or we're getting there. How are you planning financially for the future from this point in your life? So again, I have really awesome parents who really instilled the importance of saving money to me really really early on. When I was working at Buffalo wild Wings. At sixteen, I was

setting aside so much money. It was really important for me to save a lot of what I was getting at that time in my life for what I could save, and that started me on a really important journey that I've always been good at paying myself first. I've always saved, Like every time I get a paycheck, I'm like, Okay, how much can go on my savings account? How much

could go here? And now I have investment accounts. Now I invest in stocks, and I've been investing in my four oh one case since I was twenty five years old. So it was always really instilled in me at a really early age, and I'm very, very lucky and thankful for that. I know a lot of people don't have that same experience. So the best thing I can say

in this direction is start now. Like you can never start too late, right, I mean you can, you can meet like some of my coworkers and you don't have four o one k's, but you can never like be too late to start, is what I should say. You can always start saving now. In that saving like when I was paying myself first, it looked like twenty five dollars. It was twenty five bucks of my Buffalo wild Wings

or my serving money went to my savings. It wasn't a lot dead but freakin' gosh, twenty well, my mouth sucks. But I don't know ten years from that, like, I've only increased that amount that I paid myself first every time, and now my savings is so awesome. So that was an important easy start for me to do, and I really try and suggest it to people. I've also only ever had one credit card. I've never opened up. That's

not that's not true. I did open up a pottery barn when I about my house because I needed some deals. But beyond that bottery barn, which I really don't use anymore, I really just bought when I did my house. But I only have one credit card, one debit card, and I don't carry a lot of cash. Sometimes I do, but I really don't. So like I have gotten some financial things and still really early, and I wholeheartedly know

that I'm very lucky for that, so very exciting. But if there's one thing that you're looking for to start saving as the first place, heck, it can even be five to ten dollars, like just start. Don't think like, I can't start. I can't do this, it's too overwhelming. Just start. Just start paying yourself first every time you get a paycheck, and that will start to build up over time. It's a habit. You create a habit. How should normal guys approach to women at a bar these

days without being creepy? We talked about this a little bit on the Bobby Bone Show recently, and I think your best bet is genuinely to like find very natural approaches. Like if you see a cute girl at the grocery store and she's looking at a specific item, just like kind of like gently walk by. I don't like you rush up to her and just be like, hey, I've

tried that before. It's really awesome. Like, as a normal human being, think of connection instead of flirting, Like, think of the fact that you just want to connect with this human being. I did an episode with a flirt coach, Benjamin, and it was cool to talk to him because so much of what he thinks the flirt is is just connecting with human beings. If we start to look at things as just connecting and having human interaction, it takes some of that pressure off that this has to be

a connection. It can just be a fun moment in time. So do things just naturally, like how you would if you saw a friend, or if a girl's at the drink or at the drink at the bar buying a drink, then ask her what she's drinking, like, hey, what is that? I need a new drink? Or hey, like you guys

are taking jobs, what are you celebrating tonight? I know these sound like kind of corny and stuff, but natural integration to your life is what's gonna have the most success and not be creepy, because you know, if you just go up be like hey you're hot, Yeah, that's gonna be creepy, or like hey can I get y'all number? Or uh what show snapchat? Yeah, none of those things are gonna work. So natural integration. Just think of human interaction rather than hey, I'm gonna go flirt with that

hot girl. That's the best way you're gonna go. And our very last one imposter syndrome as a thirty year old woman engineer in a male dominated field, let me say this, you deserve to be there. You got that job regardless of being a thirty year old woman. You got that job, and all you have to do is own that shit. Own it, like so often with imposter syndrome, because I get it. I get it often. I'm kidding you right now sitting here on this podcast, like why

is anybody listening to this? Why would anybody want to hear anything that I have to say? You know why? Because also the comments tell me that they're like, why would anybody want to listen to you? You're not smart, you don't need it, you don't need to share information, you don't have a successful life, YadA, YadA, YadA. No, you know what we're gonna do. We're gonna own that shit because we deserve to take up space. We deserve to have the jobs that we did do. We deserve

to be in the spaces that we're in. We worked hard for that. You worked hard for that. Do not allow anybody to make you feel like you don't deserve to be there for any moment in time in your life. You deserve to take up space. You deserve to get the life that you've always dreamed of and to be someone is who is doing something different like you are.

Hell yeah, you are paving a way for people. You are changing a narrative, You are changing a path, and that's so cool and so important, and do not ever invalidate that experience for you. Are you gonna have moments where you're like, dang, I shouldn't be here. Yes, you will. I still have those moments every day. But then I look myself in the mirror and I say, no, no, no, look at me. We did this. We got here, We worked hard, we put in the time, we put in

the effort, and we deserve to be here. And I think that's probably what you needed to hear more than my take on imposter syndrome. So I hope you heard it loud and clear, and anybody else who's listening to this episode, I'm so happy you're here. And you also deserve to be here. And whatever space you're in in your life right now, you deserve to be in. You

deserve to take up this space. So do it be who you have always wanted to be, chase the dreams that you always want to chase, and go on after it. We do at the end of the day. So much of my drive as a human being is that we only have one life to live and I am not gonna take a single moment of that for granted. And you shouldn't either, So go out there, live your life.

I hope you got something out of this episode. Maybe I just weren't vomited all over you, and maybe you gave up halfway through and you're not even hearing the ending of this, and that's okay too. But along the way, I hope you did get something that helped you and made you feel seen and heard and less alone, because that is the whole purpose of this podcast. It isn't me to sit here on a mic and blabber and

share advice or have interviews. It's really for you guys, to feel like you are being connected to That's what we're doing here. So I hope you felt it again. I'm happy you're here. Thank you for being here. I love you. Stay safe and we'll talk soon.