Handling Divorce

gone through their parents divorcing. And I know so many people can relate to this, probably more people than not honestly at this time for sure. Um So, yeah, we kind of want to just talk about it, and it's definitely you know, we just wanted to preface it just in case anyone gets like triggered by it or you know, it just makes them upset. Like this is definitely going

to be the tone for the episode. I don't know, I think it's important to bring it up and something that we haven't really talked about, and also maybe some of you can relate to it, and I feel like you're not alone as well. Totally. Um but yeah, we so our parents divorced when I was six, so you would have been four, and it was do you remember like when we found out? I think it was were we sitting on Mom's bed? Was that where it was?

I think we were in the kitchen? Was that where I because I remember I threw a pillow at Mom's head. I don't really remember. I think I blocked it out of my head. I think you were so little. I just remember like moving out. Mm hmm, I remember, yeah, I remember, and Mom could correct me if I'm wrong, But I do have a vi memory of me throwing my pillow at her and saying, I hate you because I just didn't understand because I was like, what do you mean that? You guys aren't going to be like

what does that mean? We're so young to comprehend what that actually means. And so like it was intense, and I remember, Yeah, we stayed at that house for like a tiny bit, and then we started we kind of where did we go? We went? No, we still lived there. Yeah, we still lived there. Um, I think did our dad go somewhere else? Yeah? I think that's what it was. Yeah, we lived there for a little while a little while, and then my my mom met met Greg step dad,

who we love so much. And we moved in with him eventually, which is that was such and that's when we switched schools. Which, by the way, I loved him from the first time I met him because he had a really sweet dog, and he gave me a twenty bill. He knew how to send you. I were best friends. Suspicious. I was like, we were also older, but not that much older. By the time we met Greg. I was when we moved in with him, I was eight seven,

so it was like, you know, around that time. Yeah, but I feel like, I don't know if this is I feel like it's situational. But I feel if I was older, I would be way more It would be harder for me, just because to accept a new person. But when I'm when I'm young, I'm like, oh, he gave me a twanty dollar bill. I love him. Like it just depends. I mean, it depends on the person also. But you know what's so weird. I have this vivid

memory that literally just pops into my head. I remember right after we found out we were obviously in school. I was in first grade. Yeah, first grade? Is that how in sick when you're six? Yeah, I was in first grade, and I remember I was like, Okay, I think it was my way of coping. Maybe I'm you know, obviously I was so young, but I remember going up to my teacher and saying, guess what, I get to have two Christmases this year. I really remember doing that.

I remember I was talking about and then she's like why, like how? And then I started crying to my teacher because I was like my mom and dad like there it's separate, Like I have to go to my dad's house and then I have togar my mom's out. Like it was like that situation. That's really sad. Yeah, I mean now it's like sad looking. I mean it was very sad in the moment too, but it's really sad

like hearing it. Yeah, But isn't it weird how you try and like, like even when I was younger, I was just trying to like cope and move forward and just being like trying to make it a lighthearted thing, like I get double the presence, you know, even though we never really got double the presence, you know what I'm saying, Like our dynamic, it was so weird once once our parents divorced and we started going like two separate houses kind of our other side of the family,

they kind of like I think they just maybe didn't love mom and they just kind of stopped like giving us. I never I don't know, I just felt like we weren't really a part of it or something. Yeah, that is really weird, But I honestly don't remember like talking about it to anyone or like anything. I feel like

it just happened. And then when we move moved schools, I was just like by guys in movie school, Like I genuinely don't think I told anyone in that school or anyone in general, and other than my dance friends.

Like I feel like I felt like I could trust all of my dance friends, but if I told someone at my school, it just felt really strange because like I only see them at school and at the time, and I'm sure it was more common than we thought, but at the time, like I felt like we were really the only all of my friends their parents were together, Like we were the only ones that had split families, which was like a really weird thing because you kind of feel like you're like an outsider in that way.

You just kind of feel like I kind of felt like we were messy, like that's just how it felt like. I just felt like we were kind of like I don't know, like we weren't the picture perfect family anymore. And maybe that's why too, I made it a point to say to my teacher, I get too Christmas. Like I tried to make it like always like everything was okay. You know, well you're just that kind of person, always

like everything's gonna be okay. I've been like that since I was little, but I do remember too, Like I think once we too saw how much happier mom was not married to like our dad, I we we were able to realize even at a young age, like oh my gosh, this is like healthy, like this is this is good for the family, Like we can all be happier now you know, there's not this like weight in the family. And I know a lot of people can

relate to that too. It's hard to move on, but once you accept that change is coming and you know, like the dynamics changes, you can see that like maybe this was really beneficial for us, you know, mm hmm. I don't know. It's just like it's so weird to talk I think now to so many people, like all of the a lot of people I know, the most majority of their parents are divorced. Same, but a lot of my friends, their parents are so madly in love

and I've never seen that before. There's my one friend, like her parents like they look they're just like a teenage couple. And so it's so weird to see because obviously growing up, it's like that's just not a common thing. You think we never had that. No, you think when parents are together for so long, it's just kind of like, oh, they're just together for the kids, Like that's just how it is. But I'm like, oh, my gosh, Like I

want to be like that, you know. I also I thought parents just fought like I just thought that was normal because that's just how and I and I thought too, it was normal that if they thought they would sleep in separate rooms. And I was like, oh, that's just normal, that's how. And then when I would go over to my friend's house and be like they're like your parents, Yeah, I'm like that's so weird. Like I just thought they were weird in a way because I was just like

comparing it to our situation too, And that's how. But that's how Greg and Mom are as it goes on like and obviously, like all couples have rough patches, but like right now, it's like, oh my gosh, it's so cool to see. It's like cool relationship that mom is in totally. I think too. It is an interesting dynamic because we had half brothers before we were even like born, you know, like our dad was married beforehand, and they had two kids, they split up, and then my dad

married my mom and they had us. And even then I don't think I was registering these aren't even my These are like they have a different mom, like that their mom is't our mom, Like I think even that, like we kind of had a blended family from the start, and then afterwards, obviously when my mom remarried Greg, he had had two kids, and then we're like, oh, we have more siblings. And then my dad remarried and they

have three kids. So it's like, wow, we have such a blended family and it is so weird, and I know a lot of people could probably relate to this. It's weird to know that, like our half siblings don't know our step siblings, like they've never met. I have never thought about and we don't talk about here. We don't like I don't say to Ryan and Tyler, like I don't talk to you because we're their only siblings.

So that's so weird, isn't it weird? Oh my gosh, I've never thought of that, like we're in the middle like at all because they because what no, because because dad's kids, uh, our Brian, which is weird because that just doesn't make sense to me. But I'm saying, our dad's kids don't know. That's that's weird. That's so weird.

So it is a really interesting dynamic. And I've seen it more in l A which is interesting that people and maybe it's people in the industry because their lives are more public, but they're able to still be there for each other for their kids, you know, and still trying to be friends and just do it for the kid. Yeah, just co parent and do that thing. I think that's really common, I think more now and I've seen it even like with the Kardashians. It's so amazing how they're

able to do that with their kids. But I just don't think that was kind of in the cards for us, Like I don't think that was that was and it's not realistic always, you know. Yeah, I don't think it would have been I don't think that that would have worked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think like I am

happy that our parents divorced. At the time, it was like really really hard and I think even now we still go through like certain feelings and it gets really intense and just kind of it can be awkward at times and kind of like there's always this unspoken thing and there's always two sides to the story, like we will never you'll never know exactly why, just because we were so young when it happened that it's kind of just like, oh yeah, and when you find stuff out

more when you get older and stuff. It's just it's a really really interesting dynamic. Um. But I would say like things happened for a reason and it was meant to happen, absolutely, and I think it brought us closer. And it's so interesting because when my parents divorced, I stepped in as the other parents for you, like not even intentionally, even beforehand before they divorced, you were my mom. I was telling them in one episodes that you would

pour my milk. My mom used to go to work early, um, and I my mom got a call from me one day when I was six, and I was like, Mommy, the milk is too heavy. I can't pick it up. I'm trying to make Kenzie cereal because um, our dad wouldn't wake up to get us ready for school. So I stepped in at six and I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna do this for Kenzie. So I would wake up and i'd get you ready for school and i'd make

you cereal and everything. And my mom, I think that's when she quit because she was like, she didn't know that was happening. She didn't know that I was the one like waking getting you ready, getting us on the bus in the morning. Like I don't think she knew that that was the case. Of course, she wouldn't have happened. I kissed her off, of course. So like, yeah, it's crazy that that was the dynamic even when we were little,

and that's even now. Sometimes Mom will call me and say like, hey, I need you to talk to ken because I don't think she's going to listen if I tell her. And so honestly, I think the divorce made us like really strong, like totally you know what, you know what I'm saying, Like obviously we would fight so much, but like if I didn't have you there, oh my gosh, I would be like we we needed each other to cope through that. And I think that's why we're very

lucky that we are siblings. But even I feel for kids who go through it alone, like it must be so scary, you know, like it must just be you don't really know what to do in the moment, especially

if you're younger. Like we were so young. I don't think we were able to even fully have that realization, like, oh my gosh, our family dynamic is completely changing, and we're going from this family to like we now we don't live together, Like it's so weird, and then you have to worry about seeing the like it's it's kind of stressful because it's like I don't want to make my mom upset and I don't want to make my

dad upset. So you can because they're both my parents, you know, so it's like hard to like balance it for sure. Um I think like and we used to we would spend the week with our mom and then go spend the weekends with our dad. That's normally how it was. Yeah, just like we would go mini golf or like go do something and then we started working a lot and like being out in l A. So

it's just hard. It was hard, and I think to like, as you get older, you're able to form your own opinion in your own decisions, and you decide what you want to do and what you're comfortable with. And that's just kind of how it's happened, you know, and there's nothing you can do about it, and it's not realistic

to have a perfect family all the time. So anyone listening, if you're going through something like this, it's you're going to get through it and it's okay, and you're not weird or you're not different or like you you shouldn't feel bad for for this happening, just because it's it's honestly very common and sometimes situations like this have to

happened for good to come, if that makes sense. But it is such a it's such a weird thing even like that, you know what I thought about, Like with our dog, Like whenever you're you have a family and you have a family dog and you split who takes the dog. In this case, we had a family dog and our cousin took the dog. But like imagine if like dad took it or Nicole took Gucci. Oh sorry,

I was really young. I'm like the dog exactly, so like even that is like a weird dynamic, you know, that is true, like what if we took you know. And then when we moved in with Greg, we just happened. He just had a dog, so that became our family dog. And then we got Malibu. Oh my god, Molly was the best dog ever. She Greg had this corky She was so adorable. We loved her dearly. Her name is Molly, and she she was a low rider. She was she was okay. And then when we got Malibu, she like

trained Malibu. She trained. We didn't train Malibu at all. Molly switched up. And remember when because Corgy's we're always talking about dogs. This is a ridiculous tie and we have to lighten the moon. I'm sorry, um. Corgis their legs are really small, so like most of the time

they eventually their back legs don't work. Um. And so Malibu, when Malibu was like not even one, Molly would go lay out in the snow under this tree that was like her her favorite tree, which, by the way, we tried to bring it over to our new house and it's new. It's not um, but that didn't work out. Um, Malibu would push her but to go inside, like you knows, okay, and Molly hated her. I remember, but she since past. But we love her. She's she's under that tree. You

know that. I know. Um, But do you know what's also so interesting now is talking about our parents, like divorce with our brothers now. Like I was having conversations with Tyler who's our brother, about um, just like our moms and how it's so interesting because are like brother's mom and our mom. They're friends now and they look the same. But yeah, I'm like, oh my god, our dad has a type for sure. But um, it's so funny because they're friends now and I mean they have

obviously something in common. They both divorced from our dad, but like and they're they're good friends. And I mean, thank god because because I don't know, they're both like

her and Ryan Tyler like the best people ever. So it's like something I said, that's it's not awkward that we can still have a really cool relationship with like the whole side of their and we can still like and we can talk about like you know, because obviously our brothers are still close with our dad, but we can like talk about things and it's never like there's never like a boundary or there's never like it's always just like whatever the thing is, like how friends come

and go, relationships, everything changes, like people in your life, Like the dynamic will always change. So I don't know, you never know how our dynamic is going to be with our family in ten years, it could switch. So I think, like, like we said, and I'll keep bringing this up, is the fact that we had each other through all of this is like really really beneficial and it would have been so much harder without you. I think.

I think the hardest part was like switching schools. I think that was like for me, that was really weird because it's like I made all these friends and in the middle of the year is like like if it was at the end of the year, makes you know, but like in the beginning, in the middle of the year, it's like, all right, by guys, I'm moving schools. I'll never see any of you again, and I still haven't

seen any of them and totally it's so weird. And then getting to the new school and then then like if they ask about your mom and where's your dad, where's your parents? Like we're like what do you do? I'm just like, oh my god, it's so awkward. Like they're like, who's that man out there? I'm like, well, that's our stepped at And then they get confused and you feel like, oh my gosh, I'm in second grade and I have all of this like stuff that I've

dealt with and people don't understand. And they just don't get it because we're so young, especially at dance, like having our dad there and then like having our stepped up because we were at we were dancing for that whole time, so I'm sure everyone was just like, wait, who's this man picking them up now? And it's it's weird to explain, you know, it's hard. It's hard to explain it without feeling like you're going to be judged by the other kids. You know. It's such a weird dynamic.

But I I just like, mm hmm, it's tough. I don't think I think we've gotten through it. Definitely. It's been years now, it's been so long. But of course it's always going to be like something like I for a while, I was always like when I get married, I'm going to marry that person forever because I can't repeat what my parents did because I I it was

so hard on us, you know. I think like a lot of parents too, when they go through divorces, of course, they are going to deal with it like crazy, and it's going to be really hard for them, but like it's really hard for kids to go through it. At the same time, it's kind of humiliating in the moment, and I think, like for the longest time, I was like, I need to make sure that I don't mess this up, especially five kids, because like I just don't want them

to have to go through it. But that's just realistic. Like if things happen, if if it ends up happening to me, it's like going to be unfortunate, of course, but it's like you have to move on and you have to put yourself first sometimes and you know, life happens, and it's just it's just how it goes. And like if your friend or your sibling or someone is going through it, just make sure you're there for them as well, because that's they just need support and yeah, support and like, yeah,

I can't imagine going through it right now. Right now would be so tough, like having having like knowing who you are more and being a young adult and like having going during that going through that now would be so interesting. Yeah, So just be there. Just be there for your friends or your family if one of them

are going through it, they just need support. And anyone going through this right now or if you did go through it, you're not alone and there's I would always, like Kenzie said, always like reach out for support because it's it's really necessary in a time where you feel lonely. Yeah. Well that was a heavy episode. Well, thank you guys for listening. Um, next week we're going to do a

straight comedy episode. We're gonna do a stand up comedy. Um. Yes, we're gonna write some We're gonna write some skits about divorce. I'm gonna we're just trying to just okay, okay, guys, thanks so much for taking twenty with us. If you had fun, please give us five stars. You can follow us on Instagram at Take Conny podcast, email at Take twenty at I heart radio dot com, or you can call us at eight four four for Take twenty. See you next time. Him M