Ep 9: Same Roof, Separate Rooms: Navigating Limits and Club Safety

For sure, for sure, my fist is as big as your pink dildo.

What are you singing? I said, my fist is as big as your pink dildo. That's a good Saturday night right there. Shit, that's your Tuesday night. I don't know what it's going to take for Saturday. Mack truck? I mean. I think it's going to have to be a combo. Park in this little garage. You have the pink one and the horse one. Oh, my God. To be fair. Not in the same hole. Well, okay. So you didn't clarify. I wasn't finished. I was like, whoa. Jesus Christ. Talk about being stuffed.

You said something about being airtight. I mean. Oh, shit. That's going to be airtight. Yeah. First off, I will say the pop with the horse one. Yeah. That's got a big old head on it. It does. I mean not as big as the pink one but like yeah but the way that the horse one is though like the shape of it it just pops right in it really does it legit is a horse cock that's what it looks like, They did a very good representation of a horse cock. Y'all are gross.

Um, I'm pretty sure we got them from your house.

On that note, we're going to start this episode. Welcome to Swing Theory, where pleasure meets perspective. Join Pedro, Tink, and Tiffany, your favorite trio of temptation, as they dive deep into the swinging lifestyle. From wild stories to honest talk about connection, communication, and community, they've seen it all. And they're sharing what they've learned from over a decade of non-monogamous adventures.

So pour a drink, relax, and get ready to explore your own theory of pleasure right here on Swing Theory. Welcome back everybody to episode number nine of Swing Theory. I'm your host, Pedro Martinez, alongside the beautiful Miss Tiffany and the beautiful Miss Tank. Hello. Hi. What are you fucking giggling at already? Because we've been doing this episode for two minutes and 29 seconds and we're in trouble already. Well, no, Tink's in trouble. Because I answered her.

She couldn't close her cocksucker for two seconds. Well, you should have put something in it. I can't. I'm all the way over here. I do not have a horse cock. Okay. Horse cock is not that long. Okay. Well, then. We are very, very far distance apart, and if you had anything that large, I'm sorry, I got nothing for you. Yeah, well, you're talking to someone that's hung like a field mouse, so. Oh, my God. Not even close. Sucker punches are free.

Yeah, you keep saying that. I have yet to receive a sucker punch. How's your foot? You get bites instead. My foot is fine. Okay, we got to get down to business. The Brax tax, if you will. Because we got a good episode for you. It is another Saturday evening. Here at Swing Theory Headquarters, a.k.a. Tiff's Couch. It's a nice couch. It is a very nice couch. It is a nice couch. So, it's been a week. You know, we had no work for me.

My truck broke down on the one day I was supposed to work. That sucked. Mm-hmm. Tink had to work from home because of shit going on at her job. Yeah, I had two days of working at home. Tiff was busy with work and... Taxi service.

Taxi and, you know... Gremlins. crotch goblins around so it's been a bit of a week and we're kind of on a short weekend which sucks yeah yes it does suck so we're gonna try to get this episode out to you guys our faithful tens of listeners we appreciate you so definitely tell us like what are we gonna be talking about in this first segment here so we're gonna talk about just our limits and And discussing those, like, you know, different things like dirty talk during play,

getting down to the nitty gritty. So when you say limits, I mean, like, obviously. Well, boundaries. Yeah. Because, I mean, like, limits is more BDSM thing, I feel like. You're right. I was reading the notes. Sorry. BSM brain was writing it. I do apologize. I mean, I feel like that is something that's very important, obviously, when it comes to swing lifestyle. And, you know, perhaps something that new couples are not used to talking about, having those conversations.

It can be very difficult when you're new to talk about these things with your partner, you know. And, like, a lot of people may not even know what to talk about. Because there's certain things like, you know, that they know off the top of their head, like, okay, I don't want you to kiss somebody, you know, or like no cuddling, you know, stuff like that, which that's all off the top of their head. Because, you know, like a lot of that stuff, kissing, cuddling.

Just like the pillow talk afterwards, stuff like that. A lot of people consider that very intimate and part of their relationship only. Right. You know. Yeah, I mean, it's a lot of the couples that I've talked to before, like, and I've even said on the show before, like, I've talked to couples that had a no kissing rule, or different things like that. And it is different for every couple. And, you know, even for the three of us, like, we are having these conversations.

I know, you know, Pedro and Tank, you two have had these conversations before. But now that I've come into this relationship, you know, it's the same thing over. And we've also had instances that have come up that were like, shit, we didn't think about that or we haven't clarified that. Yeah. And like, that's definitely a big deal, I think, for you two women because you're overthinkers. Facts. And, you know, like you need that clarification and that explicit,

you know, this is what I'm talking about. Right. If there's any wiggle room. That's when our overthinking brain goes into overdrive. Right. Yeah. Like I need everything apart. I need an exact example of a situation to be like, okay, that is okay. That is not okay. And it just has to be explained that way. Yeah. And, you know, that's perfectly normal. Like, you know, over communicating is never a bad thing. Right.

And again, like some of those things may come up through a conversation you had with someone else. And then, you know, you bring it back to the team and you're like, well, this came up today. What do we do about this? Because you're not going to think of everything. Like you said, you can think of things off the top of your head, but you're still going to come across something that you hadn't thought about.

So why don't we go ahead and get into, you know, like what our boundaries are and stuff and maybe how we got there and like what we're doing to either keep them in place or to possibly, you know, change them at some point. That way people can hear what an honest dialogue is, you know, between a throuple, you know, but you can relate this to your couple dynamic as well. Because, again, not everybody knows how to bring this up. And to me, you know, my very black and white brain, it's very simple.

Like, hey, we should probably talk about what we're okay with if something were to happen with another person or another couple or whatever. So, I mean, I think if you can just lead into a conversation like that, it's very cut and dry as to what you're going to talk about. And hopefully your partner is receptive and doesn't get shy because that's a big problem, I think, too. People don't want to say certain things because they're afraid to upset their partner.

You know, like whether it's they want to do something or they think, well, I'm going to say I don't want this because I think my partner won't want this either. Right. So, yeah, like they hold themselves back because they're not sure how to kind of go about it. And it's easier to just assume that their partner is not going to be okay with it. So don't bother and just say, I'll just go with something else instead versus what they're actually truly wanting to experience. Right.

So why don't you go ahead and start us off, Tiff, since, you know, like we've had our boundaries and stuff in place for our couple dynamic. Right. And, you know, since we've been a throuple, things have changed. Right. And why don't you take us through like some of the boundaries that, you know, you want to see in place and we can talk about like how we got there. Yeah. So, I mean, we've had a lot of conversation, especially it's ongoing.

Constantly. It is constantly. And I will say that I will openly admit that I am definitely the one that you have to worry about getting upset because I do react strongly to some things and not necessarily because I don't want to talk about them, but I definitely get a little bit emotional first and then have to sort of like take a step back, talk through it because I do shut down a lot. But it's not that I'm not willing to have that conversation,

but it's definitely a struggle for me sometimes because this is all new to me. Right. And that's, you know, like I keep reminding you of that. Like when we do have a difficult conversation and you shut down, you know, then you come back and apologize and, you know, you get emotional. But I keep reminding you, this is a brand new dynamic for you. You were a unicorn or a single female for six years. Right. You know, like a single in like the Tinder world. Right. And then a unicorn

for three or four years. Right. So you didn't have anybody to worry about. You just had to worry about you. And I had a role that I knew that I needed to play, right? So going out into the wild, being a unicorn, I had a role to play, which was just keep the couple happy, right? It was a privilege for me to play with other couples. So it was based off of their roles, their dynamic, whatever their boundaries were.

I didn't have to worry about mine because it was all them. So going through this as a thruple has definitely been not necessarily a challenge, but it's been emotional. I will say that, especially for me. And, you know, some of the things that we've talked about and I've come to the conclusion, like, it is very difficult for me, especially given the distance with the lifestyle stuff, to be able to not get in my head or overthink about you guys doing things separately.

And just even something simple as going out to dinner with somebody because I don't have the opportunity to do that with you guys during the week so that's definitely something that really hits home for me and it's hard for me sorry I'm gonna get emotional it's okay and it's hard for me because if I can't have that it's really hard for me to be supportive of you doing that with someone else who's not your partner and I understand that it's just a play thing but I don't have that privilege.

Right. And, you know, when you brought that up the first time was when you were encouraging me to play solo again. Right. And then very quickly, you know, realized you made a mistake. Yeah, it's not necessarily the playing solo thing. No, it was you being ready for that. Right. And again, to be clear, currently, where we've landed is, and I know it sort of puts you in a little bit of a box, but it's the at events, you do you, Bo. Because we're all three there. We're all three together.

You know, if you want to go off and you have somebody that's there that's interested in you and you're interested in them, full support. But it's that, you know, we're separated during the week, so I don't want to give up my time for either one of you to have you go out with a play partner and things. But then also it was that long-term play partner that triggered me because having that word thrown out there when I'm your long-term partner, Ash is your long, Tink is your long-term partner.

I understand that there's the play partner in there, but there's that, okay, well, I'm going to go start building a relationship with someone who's a potential long-term play partner. And have to travel to see her, but my girlfriend's an hour and a half away and I'm not seeing her. So that was a big hell no for me. Right.

And, you know, we've gone not back and forth about the actual boundary that you set. It was more about me trying to get you to not feel like shit. Yeah. And I mean, I still do. For, you know, feeling the way you do. Because like I said, you know, this is a new dynamic for you. Tink and I have done, you know, almost all the different dynamics over the last 10 years.

And you know we've had the time to talk about all this and you know adjust to the different things and learn how we react to them right like this is all and i like i know like you feel like you're you're putting him through this all over again but it's he's already been there so now we're here to support you learning how this is a little bit different when you're in a relationship, regardless of it being a throuple, but you're not going about the lifestyle anymore as a single.

Yeah, so it is me learning what I am okay with and what I'm not okay with. And again, the distance is the big factor. It's the not being able to do those things. Like I can't just call you up and be like, hey, meet me here for dinner tonight. I can't do that. Right, which I mean, we all wish we could do that. Right, so for having the opportunity to do that with someone else, it's very hard for me. Like I've said from the beginning, you know, I completely understand that.

And like, I never once tried to, you know, convince you otherwise. And neither of you have, you know, it's been discussions and different things. And unfortunately, it's just something that I'm still not there on.

Right. And that's perfectly okay, you know, because we went for like five years before we decided to try solo play. So, I mean. And again, it was still tons and tons of conversation, especially after events and just looking at the different things that could have happened if we would have gone about things differently. You know, had he been able to play on a solo aspect and just kind of like talking through all of my emotions, which are very similar to the ones that you have.

The only one obviously wasn't the distance, but I still had very similar responses to things that I had to work through.

And you know i didn't have anybody either to talk to about it right well and that's also another thing is that i know that i need to get better on is because i don't talk to either one of you about it when stuff like that's bothering me until it gets to the point where you have to pull it out of me and i mean i'm getting better at it but it's still definitely very hard because. You know me talking to you pedro about something with tank is hard for me or

vice versa me talking to you to think about something with Pedro is very hard for me. So... Yeah. And I mean, the biggest thing is just to keep the communication open. Right. You know, like for us and anybody listening, you know, who is trying to set up their boundaries and what they're okay with and stuff like that.

Because, you know, like when we very first started dating, you know, like we've said before, you thought that you were going to still be gung-ho, be a unicorn, you know, still do what you wanted to do.

And I mean we were riding with you on that yep and yeah very quickly it was like yeah no I really don't want to do that anymore yeah so I mean things change and that's okay too right and I mean the little bit of hope that I do have and you know when we were at the Gettysburg takeover in February like just being there it was one of those things and I know we've talked about it on here before. But, you know, Tink wasn't feeling well, so she went to bed early.

And at this point, I'm like, it's past Granny's bedtime. I'm going to go snuggle with her. And, you know, you and I had that one-on-one moment where I was like, absolutely, go do whatever you want to do. I had no care in the world. I fell asleep with her, no problem.

Like, there was no issues whatsoever. So it's one of those things for me that I truly do believe it's the distance that has the biggest impact right now right and i mean i also know that just like with tank you know this boundary that we have is not permanent right right you know it's just like a stepping stone yeah and i'm willing to do whatever it takes you know for you to feel comfortable you both have been and even you know the conversation that we had yesterday

like again i know i got spicy but. It's very apparent that you two do care very much. It's just hard for me to believe that sometimes. And not because you guys are doing anything wrong. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's a totally different mindset of navigating the lifestyle as a couple or a throuple or a quad or whatever. Anytime there's someone else besides yourself involved, there's way more to it.

Yeah, because again, I literally had zero other people to worry about other than myself. Yeah. So it was what I chose to do. I didn't have to have a discussion with anybody about any of it. So aside from, you know, the, the boundary of no playing solo, like during the week, what's something else that, you know, you would consider like a boundary right now for either like yourself or us as a throuple? I'm gonna have to pass. My brain is fixated on this, this last conversation.

Okay. What about you, Tank? Like, what's something that, like, you would feel is, like, a boundary that you have either for yourself or for us as a throuple when it comes to play scenarios? I think just from all of our conversations that we've had about us all wanting to go about this on a together level, like, and I know Tiff brought up, like, if we were all together at a hotel takeover, you wanted to play with a female, obviously just her, we're not going to say no to that.

We'll be like yeah go do you go have fun and of course when you come back definitely fuck us because that needs to happen but i think that like a boundary is this us playing separately from.

You pedro versus like like her and i just going off doing our own thing like i feel like everybody would be together and if we go outside of that that would be the boundary that we wouldn't cross so even if like i said it's cool go have fun you still wouldn't want to like go play either on your own or with definitely not on my own i think it's just as of right now with the different, feelings on things i don't think that it would be worth it in a not enjoyable

way like like i wouldn't get anything from it because i'd be worried that one i'm doing something wrong even though I was told, yes, go do it. So therefore, I'm just going to be in my head about it. And two. With it being that we wanted to really try to play all together, then that's also what's going to be like weighing on me as like, well, but we're not all together, though. I'd really like it to be that way.

Okay, so let me ask you this, though. What if it's a, like, we're technically playing all together, but it's like separate room. Oh. Because that's technically the same fucking thing. I mean, like, okay, and this is me being literal, so break it down to a hotel room that has like one of those separation doors.

So it would literally be like even if like if i'm playing with a woman right right and we go to her room her husband is in our room playing with you two what's the difference between me telling you guys to go play with a guy or a couple or whatever i think for me the difference would be the fact that even though we're separate we're still all engaging with the same couple at the same time that's one way of thinking and it's not like anybody's being quote-unquote left out

you know what i mean okay i mean like we're we're i guess in a way you're saying we're all together just right like we're doing the same thing just separately okay i mean like i can understand that answer but in my brain it's no right you're still fucking someone else that right and not in the same area together. Right. No, I think for me, I think it literally is just the, I know that you're getting some and we're getting some.

Okay. I mean, and see, like my biggest, I guess, issue with that, which if you haven't picked up on this, like that is not necessarily a boundary of mine, you know, is we all know as a man, it's hard to find people to play with, you know, and if it is a play separate scenario, you know, to me, it's no different than if I send you guys off to do your own thing or I go off to do my own thing. Like, it's the same thing to me.

And especially like right now with the boundary that I have on me, I can only play solo at events. Right. So it's technically same roof anyway. It is. You're absolutely right. I think in my brain, it just justifies it a little bit more if that we're playing with a male, quote unquote, by ourselves. Because or a male or a couple right like we're sort of doing that on our own but yet we're still encouraging you to do the same thing with the wife at the same time,

Right. But if that's not a possibility, you know, like, because we've come across this where, you know, either you guys are into a couple and the wife may not be into me or I'm not into the wife or whatever, you know, but you guys still want to go have fun. Like, I'm not going to fucking stop you guys. You know, I'm going to say, hey, have fun. I think it would depend on the situation and who it was.

I think so. And I think, too, is, you know, once we're there, we've already talked about how we switch into more of that party gear and wanting to do all of the things and have fun and just let loose and have a good time. So I feel like that also would weigh in on our deciding factor of. You know, what are we open to? And if Pedro's encouraging us, even if he has a solo thing going on, we very well may go, okay, you know what? I do want to go play with this guy.

Or I'm going to play with this couple. And, you know, we'll do it together. Right. Yeah. And I will say that, like, in this scenario, because there, you know, there's at least one couple that I've been talking to for quite a long time that I would still love to play with. And I just haven't had the chance. Like, and we were literally just talking about this before the show. If it was something where, like, Tink, I would love for you to be involved.

But if that day or whatever, for whatever reason, you were like, man, not really feeling it.

I would still do that. like I would still go do that on my own but again it depends on who it would be time and a place right in which I told you like I would encourage that right yeah and I would do the same just because like you said you have been you know putting in that that effort and still have that want for it to occur so if there was an opportunity for it and you've waited you might as well jump on that bandwagon because like when is the next time it's going to happen.

Who knows? So now how about like anything like sexual wise, you know, like, is there a certain thing or that you guys are like, no, don't do that shit. Like whether it's for yourself or like for one of us as a partner. I think for me, and we've have gone over this many times, there's definitely like, I don't want to be choked by anybody. And that's more on that sexual line of being of play.

But also, I feel like there is a finesse when it comes to how you are talking when you're having sex with somebody, especially when they're not your partner.

I don't want any degradation from somebody and I know that doesn't quote-unquote technically happen or what it shouldn't happen in the lifestyle when you're playing because it does fall more on that like BDSM line however depends on what terms are being used like if you're calling me your dirty slut no I'm sorry that's not that's not how this works one I'm not your slut two it's I don't really know you that way. Like, I may be into you because that's why we're playing.

But I'm not looking for that kind of talk being done. Like, you could say other things like, oh, my God, you feel so good. You're like, that would be fine. So you want more of the positive reinforcements for dirty talk instead of? Instead of being like dirty and raunchy. Told that you're a slut and yeah, okay. That's fair. Yeah, like, that is not something I am into. And that would be a boundary where either like if it didn't stop, I would make play stop.

So that falls into like, you know, the, the topic of, you know, the dirty talk and all that. I mean, and I know one, one boundary of yours that you didn't mention is not to pull your hair. I, there was a whole list. I just gave a few.

Well, I mean, you were talking, so you might as well list off like what you have for yourself or what you may want to, you know, have us abide by as well.

So yeah add in i don't want my hair pulled it's just been a thing that even you pedro i wish that you could do it but we can't and it's my just overall personal like don't touch it i already have a thing with my hair just leave it let it go don't do that but also another one and this is kind of a fine line and i don't really know how i could describe it to a play partner but like the ass smacking like I'm okay to an extent with it but not like full-on like you're

really getting into it smacking the shit out of my ass like I don't know for some reason I'm not. Wanting that with a play partner like I don't mind like a small like let me see if I can do this like give me some skin like like a little bit more than that right but I don't want like you don't want them like hauling off and right red hand print no don't want that at all that's something I don't want. And I think for you, Tiff, I don't want to see any bite marks or hickeys on you.

That's fair. Valid. Like, I think would piss me off. That's valid. I mean, to be fair, we're very playful with the bite marks. We are. Like, that's our thing. Like, I would... Now, granted, Pedro does bite you, too. Not as often as I do. Right. And... Right. So I know where those bite marks came from because I know the exact spots because I gave them to you. So if there was one that showed up that I'm like, where did that one come from?

Then I'd be like, what happened here? So that would be something as a boundary that I would not be okay with. That's fair. That's valid because I'd probably feel the same way. I mean, not that I can bruise you very easily, but. You have bruised me. You've actually bruised my tit before. Did I? You have. And it was from, I'm pretty sure, a tiny little nibble that you created. And I had a little dot. It was like you broke the blood vessel on my skin. Proud of myself for that.

I know. I was too. I was like, oh, she has a little mark on my titty. I know. Because like I've bit your butt, like your thighs, like no, nothing. Yeah.

I have to be with a bad guess. I have to agree, like, I don't want to see, you know, like, long-lasting marks on either of you, you know, because, like, with us being into BDSM, like, that's my thing. That's you, yeah. So, I mean, like, obviously, I know, you know, there may be some kind of marks just from play. Like, it happens.

I mean, to be fair, I also bruise easily in certain areas. So, like, if there were, like, fingerprint marks on, like, my arm or something like that, that's not uncommon. Because that can happen even just from, I don't know, somebody grabbing my arm to move me out of the way or something. You know what I mean? Like. Yeah. I mean, like, I just don't want to be able to relate them to something sexual.

You know and like i feel like another thing like for me when it comes to like dirty talk like i don't want another woman to call me daddy yeah i would not be okay with that and i also wouldn't call anybody else now daddy or sir like i would not yeah well that was going to be another thing like like i know that there's a lot of wannabe dominance out there right and And, you know. Like I know you like to play where, you know, your partners are a little more dominant.

And, you know, sometimes that shit goes to these guys' heads. Yeah. Because they think they actually know what they're doing and they're like, oh, you're going to call me sir. No. Yeah, that's a hard no. Like that's not something I'm okay with. I was going to mention the same thing about having women calling you daddy or sir just because it's like that's not your role. Well, I mean, like, I'm okay with people calling me sir, just because...

It's polite, like, it's... Well, and the most, most people know me as a dominant, you know? So, like, as long as it's not like you're trying, you're pretending to be a submissive... I was just gonna, that's probably where your brain was going to. It was exactly where my brain was. Like, I would not, like, I could not imagine, like, say there was another woman in play and her being in front of you saying, yes, sir, that would probably go right through me.

Yeah, like, I feel like if you could tell that she was trying to have that role of being his submissive, that's where you're like, no, that's not how that works. Yep. Yep. Yeah. I mean, now the, the part that we vary on here is because when I play, you know, and I've been told this, like, this is not just me making this up. Tink can vouch for this. You know, when, when I play with other people, even if it's not in a like BDSM type of situation, I'm just naturally very dominant in the bedroom.

And you know if somebody knows that about me already and they know that you know i have been a dominant in the bdsm world for 20 plus years a lot of people do tend to you know say yes sir and stuff like that i think it would just depend on the context like on the context like i just because like if i tell somebody like you know i want you to suck my cock usually they'll say yes I mean, to be fair, I've done that and you're right.

But I think for me to Tink's point, it would be if they were truly trying to play that submissive role. Like it's way different when, you know, you're just telling somebody because I've said it and I will probably accidentally say it at some point, too, because it is it's like, all right, yes, sir. Yeah, I mean, and that's from being down south, too, because I've had this on a very not sexual way. I responded to somebody who was being very forward with me by telling them, no, sir.

And he was actually turned on by that. And I was like, I'm actually just being southern sweet to you right now. And, you know, having some manners. I wasn't being rude. I was literally, matter of fact, saying, no, sir. Yeah. And I mean, it's been 10 years that I've been in the lifestyle and obviously I don't know how every guy is in the bedroom, but I have seen enough guys play that they're not on my level when it comes to just that natural dominance. Right.

And I think like, that's also why I struggle sometimes with wanting to play all together, you know, where, you know, like you said, like you may say it by accident and like that would piss me off. Right. And not like, like I, I would know that it was innocent, innocent, but in that moment it would piss me off. Right. And I don't really want to deal with that because I don't want to ruin your time. I don't want to ruin anybody's time. Right.

So that's why, like, I am such a proponent of playing separately or playing solo because, you know, like I've known Tink, we're going on 12 years together. And when she's in the middle of it, she's just retarded. Like she doesn't... She doesn't think. Thanks so much. Listen. Hell, I don't even think now half the time. So I get it. You're not wrong, but wow. Yeah. So I mean, and I don't want her to have to be taken out of the moment. Right.

By having to think. By having to think about what she can or can't say or do or whatever. So, you know, and that extends to you too. Like, I don't want to impede on anybody's good time. Right. And I know things are said and stuff in the heat of the moment that nobody really means, but it's just from years of sex, you just naturally go with that because you think that's what somebody wants to hear. And especially if you're used to playing with guys who either are dominant or

pretend to be dominant, they expect that. So you naturally are just like, oh, yes, sir. Yeah, I mean, I guess I could... With the guys that I have played with that do seem to have a little bit more of that dominance or pretend to be more dominant, like, it's never been like that, though. Like, it's always just been the aggressive directing me. But there's never been that play scenario or play session where I've really ever used daddy or sir.

Like, because they've always just, like, to be fair, I don't want to call everybody my daddy. Like, it's awkward. You're like, I save that for who it belongs to. Yeah, like, it's just, it's awkward. Yeah, and I mean, like, and it's more so, like, the sir thing for me. Yeah. Because, like, I know that is a common thing, you know, you see it on the- That is, yes. Like, the groups and stuff where, you know, not so much right now,

but back a couple years ago, that was a big thing. It was a big thing. Where guys are like, oh, you know, I want you to call me sir, and this and that, and it's like- Every time that I would read those, I'd be like, gag, and not on his cock.

Yeah so i mean like again i know it would be innocent but it would still piss me off in the moment valid yeah you know kind of like the same way if somebody called me daddy you know you guys would be like what you'd be like excuse me bitch exactly like you want to rethink that because uh you can walk right out that door yes yeah so you know and as we were talking about earlier like this is a new dynamic like tink and i almost always played some kind of separate you know so this whole

like us all playing together is very new to me and you know some of that stuff scares me that's very valid and i will say like even just to add on the daddy thing like even when we started talking about you know the roles of the dom and sub with you and me like i was very hesitant to even call you daddy for a while because I know that that was your guys's thing. So it took me a while to.

To do that yeah and i mean like i i want you and tank you know like i've told you in private you know before like i want you guys to be able to talk to each other you know about like if you're feeling uncomfortable with something or whatever you know to go to tank and be like hey you know i'm having these feelings about this i want to make sure you're okay you know right yeah because Because like her as a slave, like she knows whatever I say goes. So if. Even when I throw in a little brattiness.

Yeah. And then I throw a right hook. No, I'm kidding. Kidding. Should have seen him earlier. He was not kidding. It all started because he got bit in the foot, but I didn't do it. Yes. That's why I asked you how your foot was. But to be fair, like that was when we were having that conversation about the roles, like you had made it very clear, like you can call me daddy or sir. So it was one of those things where I knew that I could, but out of respect for the two of you, it took me a while.

Right. And, you know, like in a play scenario, like I would never expect that from a female play partner. Absolutely. You know, the only thing I would correct is the daddy thing. Like, because like I said, almost everyone I've played with has called me sir several times throughout the play session. I mean, but it wasn't in like a, oh, I'm going to do whatever you say, sir, you know, type of thing. It was, if I told her to do something, it was yes, sir.

Like, you know, and to me as a 20 plus year dominant, like that's very respectful. Right. You know, like I respect that and that you're not just like, okay, you know. I guess. It's the engagement. If you insist. Right. So, I mean, like outside of that, I mean, I really...

Don't have many boundaries you know like if anyone has listened to this show even back when it was a kitchen sink like everyone knows like i have body dysmorphia because of my ex-wife and i think i have a small dick so like totally wrong facts if we do play with a couple that you know the guy is larger, you know, then like, I make it very known like, Hey, this might bother me. Right. You know, but I'm not saying like, we can't do it or that you guys can't play.

It's just, I let you know, like, Hey, I may have feelings about this.

Yeah. And you've been very open about that from day one. Yeah. You know, and cause I don't want to stop either of you, like I've said, from having a good time you know and that's where again the us even if it's same roof separate rooms is helpful for you right you know and i'm tootsie's a code and like i don't care how that makes me look you know like if people are like oh what an insecure jerk off like i don't fucking care because i went through 13 years of being mentally abused by my ex-wife

and to even be able to be in this lifestyle and, you know. Be okay with you guys playing with people that make me feel insecure, I think I'm doing pretty fucking good. I would say, yeah. And if anybody was to even... Feel that way about you, I'd be like, you probably need to check yourself literally before you wreck yourself. Because like, there's a lot that you would have to, you like personally had to go through to be able to get to the where you're at now.

And again, we've been together for almost 12 years. I haven't fucking fixed it. So that's not something that anybody can fix.

No, it's just learning how to support and you know just not make it worse right and you had done all your work to get yourself to the point that you're at yeah i mean like it's not easy you know to to say yeah i'm okay with this but at the same time like i'm not going to be that guy that stops you two from enjoying something that you may want to enjoy right you know and i think what helps me though is knowing that like neither of you are size queens because obviously you're with me but like

i'm gonna hit myself with my microphone hit yourself yes with them oh okay keep saying this i'm not gonna take myself out but it's true though like you two are more into you know who the person is yeah and it's kind of like well that's what they have so listen those mac and cheese These noises don't lie. I know, but, you know. Nope, they don't. But at the same time, like we've talked about, you know, by sending you guys off on your own in those circumstances.

Like, yes, I'm still going to have some sort of feelings about it, but I don't feel like it's as bad as if I would have to witness it. Oh, I would agree with that. Yeah, I think it's a totally different thing that you would experience if you were to witness it.

You know, it's just different, like, if you were just told the story versus being right there, seeing it with your own eyes, hearing everything, it's like a double whammy versus just hearing it one time and then only having your imagination to do its battle. Yeah, because, I mean... I hope that made sense. Do it's battle. Yeah. Like, you know, like, obviously, like, I want you guys to tell me, you know, if you had a good time and everything else.

And because, like, obviously, like, I know that if you wanted to play, you probably had a good time. Like, you know, so it's not going to be like you had a bad time. I just don't want to witness it. Yeah, that's valid. Yeah. But now, like, on the other hand, where, you know, it's like play partners that are like my size or, you know, maybe a tiny bit bigger, smaller, whatever. I actually enjoy watching, you know? So, like, my brain is a fucking mess when it comes to that shit.

But again, it's valid. I mean, it's obviously connected to some deep-rooted trauma, which is justified. So that's where, again, you know, being supportive partners, it's making sure that you're comfortable. And if there are any, you know, times where you are uncomfortable, neither one of us are going to go through with that.

Yeah, and that's why, like, you know, we have to have that conversation where, you know, like, if I know you guys are into a situation, but it's not something that I want to be a part of, like, I can tell you then, like, okay, you know, go have your fun, and I'll see you when you get back. Right. You know, the only thing that sucks is if it is a couple that we all want to play with.

Like, that's the only thing that sucks. especially if they are same room right yeah i feel like it would be way different if they were separate room right but that'd be a little bit more that'd be a little bit easier for you to handle however still knowing right but it's also tough to finding that because most women are bi and you know there's two women in this relationship so like obviously it doesn't make sense to play separate so that's like the real kick in

the balls for me is because you know and like that guy might be a great guy and i probably really like him you know but i just don't want to see him fuck you guys it's valid yeah you know so that's where the issue comes in when it comes to that you know and i feel like you know there is times or there will be times where i'll feel like i'm holding you guys back. We are all going to have that. We're all going to have that at some point.

I agree. But, I mean, it is what it is, you know. That's where communication is key. Yeah, it's just how we handle it with each other. Yeah. And so to wrap this up, just so that everyone is clear, when it comes to dirty talk, like, I will respect anybody else's boundaries with that. But the dirtier, the better for me. Just don't call you daddy. Yeah, just don't call me daddy. Yeah. You know, like, and like, if you want all the dirty names and all that shit, like, I'm your guy.

Like, I love dirty talk. You love it. Well, and for me, like, I also do. Like, I don't get, it's, I'm just, don't attack my physical appearance. That's my bound. You wouldn't call me a dirty whore? Great. Because I love to fuck and I love to have fun. So now, like, how do you feel about that, though, in our situation? Like, yeah. Like, what do you mean? Because, like, for me, like, I don't want to be called, like, oh, you like that, you dirty little slut, or.

So, I don't mind it. I think that that would be probably more of a question for you, Pedro, is how you would feel about people, like, saying that to me. I wouldn't want anybody to claim me. Like, do not. Because I'm not theirs. I'm yours. And I'm yours. Like, it's not. I'm nobody else's. Yeah, I think, like, see, that's a tough one. Because, like, I feel that when you dirty talk like that, like, that is a more intense play session, you know. Valid.

Usually a good bit rougher than just a general, you know, lifestyle play session. Fair. So, I think it would really come down to who was saying it for me. That's valid. You know, like, if it's someone I don't really know, and they want to get all crazy like that, then if you're into it, I would probably just have to leave the room. Valid. Because I'd probably punch him in his face.

That's valid. And I respect that. And again, like I, if it is a random encounter, like more of my spontaneous encounters, that stuff doesn't happen. And like, I haven't come across many...

Guys that do that without actually knowing you yeah and i mean like that's why i said like it depends on who it is like like there's probably a guy or two that i can think of off the top of my head that like i would be okay with that you know but then the rest of them i feel like like i'm okay with dirty talk towards you guys you know but if it's like really aggressive that's fair you know like like where my brain's at with it well i mean yeah i mean like it's okay to you know say

oh man you know you're a dirty whore you know blah blah blah i mean like that's okay but i think it comes down to like oh yeah you know you're my dirty whore or like like if they started to be more degrading where it's like oh take this cock you stupid bitch yeah you know like Yeah, no, no. Then I would be like. Say that again, motherfucker. Hope your booty hole's lubed up because I'm going to make you my stupid bitch.

Very, very valid. You know, like, and that's where the playing together does worry me because I've been in enough scenarios to know that as play goes on, things change. Yeah, you might get a little bit more comfortable. Right. And then they start pressing into different areas. Like having been with Tink for so long, you know, she is the type that will go into a play session like saying, oh, you know, I want it like sensual and, you know, soft and sweet.

And then as soon as she starts getting close to an orgasm, she's like, fuck me, you fucking asshole. Oh, my God. Give me that talk. So basically, you have to watch out for me being the one who's going to be saying the dirty talk. Well, no, but I mean, but Tiff's kind of like that, too. Like, the closer she gets, you know, or after she gets off the first time, then, you know, it's kind of like.

Then it's like amp it up a little bit more. You know, because like, in case you listeners are wondering, when Tiff gets off the first time, you have to like go harder and faster and to keep it building. Yes, that is actually true. Even I know. So, I mean, and she will let you know that.

So that's where that fear comes from because things could start off you know perfectly fine but then the next thing you know like one or both of you are like oh fucking rail me you know, and then things start getting a little crazy and then you're over there like we're done here yeah which girls walk away which i mean i wouldn't do i know you wouldn't i would walk away mentally you would be like these fucking bitches yeah i mean but again i'm not gonna stop you guys and you

know make us look bad you know and it wouldn't even really be like a conversation afterwards just because like i understand you get lost in the moment you know you want to convey what you need to continue to feel you know the way you are so it's not even like i can be mad about it it's just i don't want to see it right you know because in our like bdsm dynamics like i'm the rough one right so i don't want to see somebody else being rough with you that's understandable completely

so like i hope i didn't scare people off from wanting to play with us i mean i doubt it because i think that there's a lot of people that feel the same way i mean i think it's very relatable yeah i mean like guys i've even said for i'm a hundred times that it's come up that I'm not looking for somebody to fuck me like you do. I already have that. And I'm not opposed to the sensual because I've done the sensual.

I like, I want to find something in the middle, you know, like you're not going to be dominating me. I don't want you to be super rough. I want you to be where I need. And, you know, it's that in that middle, if I can describe that in the best way to that person that I'm playing with. Right. Then that's what I'm looking for. And I mean, that's totally understandable. You know, it's the once that switch is flipped for you personally. Right. Like that's where the gloves kind of come off.

Well, and Paige has even said before, at some point you start fucking back. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you do. Like no matter if you're riding or you're on the bottom or whatever, like you start fucking. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean. So, depending on where the level is, it could be more than what it was supposed to be.

Right. And I mean, depending on what that is, I may or may not want to watch it, you know, so like, that's why I don't want this to sound like, you know, or hope that it's not a turn off to people. But I've always been very much a play separate kind of guy. And again, I don't think it is because that's the beauty of the lifestyle is everybody's different. The things that turn everybody on or turn them off are different regardless.

But I definitely feel like an oddball because most guys are like, oh, my God, I want to see my wife drilled with the biggest cock ever. And, you know, it does seem to be something that's very common. Yes. Yeah, I would agree with that. I feel like that is very common. But I also feel like there are a lot of guys that are like you, though, that they don't want that. Yeah, but those are the guys that don't let their wives play at all.

Like, there's really no in between like me. Maybe not. Not that I've seen anyway. Or they're not vocal about it. I was just, that's exactly what I was going to go. Maybe that's what it is. I think it's the couples that say that they play...

Separately or like same roof separate room they're probably the couples that can relate to this the most because they you know make it a point that they want to play in separate rooms yeah because i mean like like obviously i want you to to enjoy the lifestyle you know and everything it has to offer i just don't want to see all of that right yeah but that's why you advocate for the separate rooms because you want everybody to have a great time yes unfortunately

it is hard to find those other people you know like there's been times where like we thought we found people like that but then it turns out that they're really not comfortable or they haven't done it yet.

You know they say that they're a separate room but they haven't done it yet yes and these are the parts that i haven't really encountered yet because being a unicorn you're always together yeah it's me and two other people right so and that's where it gets frustrating because you know then it turns into well we can all just play here you know and it's like that has happened many times and the worst part about that so okay a boundary

for me if i am playing together like full swap you're like i know what this is and we are same room is this the eye contact No? No. Well, it's the woman I'm playing with. That's, yes. Like, fixated on her man with either you or Tink. Yeah, that's what I was. Like, if you want to see me fucking rage, I will rage at that point. Yeah. So we're going to turn a play session into a rage room. Yeah. Because who the fuck wants to fuck somebody when they're just laying there watching their partner?

No, I agree with that. Well, yeah, like what is the whole point? Like why am I here? Like that's what I would feel like. I mean, like, I have stopped before. Just, now I'm done. Like. I don't blame you. Not one bit. Yeah, because we had that a couple years ago. I'm trying to remember. I'm not going to say names, but. I know you weren't going to, but I'm like. Yeah, it was. Oh, oh, yes. Okay, sorry. I'm following now. I had to go through all my memories, pull the right tab for the right here.

So I was on top, you know, doing my best because she's not making any noise. I mean, I was watching and he looked really fucking good. She's, you know, not responding. And her head is like this. So you were doing what he's complaining about. Well, to be fair, her side wasn't much. Yeah. Like, she wasn't having a great time. I wasn't. So, but like, my partner was laying there, head like tilted around my legs so that she could see. Mm-hmm.

And I'm like, okay, I'm done. i just slid out and like i was i was soft by the time i pulled out of her pussy yikes, like that's how much of a turnoff it was i'm like this is fucking stupid like go fuck your partner, you know what they probably had a better time because it didn't work for me either. I mean, like, if that's your goal, like, I'm not going to yuck your yum, but don't fucking involve me. Right.

Yeah. Like, tell me right up front. I'm going to stare at my partner the entire time so I can say thanks, but no thanks. Yeah. And if that's what they like, like you said, that's okay. Then the wife should be in the cuck chair. Yes. Like, at that point. Right. Like, you don't have to participate. Go find a unicorn. Yeah. Literally. Mm-hmm. Or pay one. Like. Yeah. Like that would be the ideal, I think, way for people that are into watching their partner with somebody else. Go pay somebody.

No, not unicorn. Paying for them. Well, no, because then you're guaranteed to get it. Like, you know how hard it is to find like a single or a unicorn that will actually, you know, play? I mean, we have one right here. Yeah. That plays. Yeah, but we played with unicorns for years and years. And I think we've played with three. That is true. In 10 years. That is true. Yeah. So maybe you would have to pay. It just sounds really bad to have to say, go pay for one.

I mean, that is the most ethical thing to do because you're not wasting anybody's fucking time. Well, that's true. And they know the job. So it's not like they're going to be like, oh, no, I don't know about this. Like, nope. Pay up. You told me what to do. I'm going to make it happen. Right. So. All right. So what was the end of this episode? I know it's going a little long here, but that was a good topic.

It was. It was a lot of good conversation. I think we were gonna we could wrap up with the email that you got okay yeah so we'll go over this email quick that we got last week and, It was actually a pretty good topic, but I think it'll be a quick discussion about it. Yeah. So we got a email from, I'll just call him VD. And it says, I have a question for the three of you. Have you ever had a situation at a club or event where someone wouldn't take no for an answer and kept trying to creep on you?

How do you handle it? In parentheses, we know Pedro would throw down.

How about tink and tiff when pedro wasn't around here's the situation we had a situation at a club a few months back we were in a playroom with the door open so people can ask to join we are there with another male and a few people looking from the doorway my lady is blowing me and the other guy is spanking her ass so we are occupied so this russian guy comes in and wants to join the fun i have no problem with that and as always i ask my lovely lady if she wants to let this guy fuck her as it's

her body and she is the only one who can make that choice smart man she is like yeah it's cool he's like quote we fuck end quote she is like yes so she is still blowing me and i'm on the bed and the other guy starts to step away so russian dude can fuck her from behind apparently russian dude grabs other guy's ass and dude smacked the shit out of him mind you i missed this part as i was laying back enjoying the blowjob damn so russian dude leaves

the room and other guy tells us what happened so so no she wants no part of the russian dude now okay so the three of us play then leave the room and head back to the other part of the club apparently while i was away at the restroom the russian dude comes up to my lady and is like quote we fuck now end quote she is like no.

So I come back, and she doesn't say anything to me. In parentheses, we talked about it later, and I was like, you need to say something if anything like this happens again. So we are still hanging out and decided to go to the smoking patio. So I go get her smokes out of the locker, and she approached her again. So, and he approached her again as I was around. Again, she is like, no. Again, nothing was said to me at the time. So we are, sorry, he wasn't around, and the guy came up again.

So we are out as she is smoking and the dude we were playing with ended up next to us on the patio when russian dude starts walking up to us from the other side of the patio and my lady is like not him again and says every time i step off he approached her so now i'm on guard totally my bad for not being on guard the whole time he comes up and as soon as he starts to say something me and the guy that we played with were telling him to get the fuck away from her or we will throw down.

He finally got the message it wasn't going to happen, but by this time, my lady was upset and we ended up going home. Totally my bad because I'm there to protect her and I wasn't able to. Sorry for the long email. P.S. I think the lovely ladies definitely had a better show together than the first time. They seemed very relaxed.

Definitely have enjoyed every episode and hopefully you all continue well thank you vd yeah yes thank you so ladies how would you handle this in this situation if i was not around and some dude is like creeping on you like this so i've had some similar situations as a unicorn where there's been you know whether it's a single guy or a couple that wouldn't take no for an answer and thankfully because it's local i typically have friends that are

there and I've leaned on them and just, you know, made them aware like, hey, this dude, also the staff, I have no problem walking up to the staff saying this dude's a creeper. You need to some, you need to watch him. I would say nothing. Probably would not say anything. If it was the two of us together, though, I would. Right. Or if I was definitely like paying attention to the situation or if like you felt very awkward and obviously you've gone through and you've done all the things.

But like, I feel like I would have that protectiveness that would come out if I was with you. So if you were starting to be that way, then I would automatically like switch my tune to not being like, I'm not going to say anything. Oh, no, you'd be my little chihuahua, wholeheartedly. Absolutely. Because that's already happened. Not that we were ever in a play scenario or anything, but there's been times where you're like, excuse me, what's going on? I have done that in the vanilla world, yes.

So I feel like that's kind of how that would happen. And if we weren't together and it happened to me by myself, I think, yes, I agree, Pedro. I would probably keep my mouth shut But I also feel like in the scenario where I was by myself, I have to go about it a little bit better, but I was, you know, polite with saying, no, sir, like, we're not doing this. Are you talking about the takeover?

Yes. Yeah, that's where my brain went to. So, it will be a different way of, okay, I need to remove myself from the situation. And if I can't do it without, you know, causing a scene, because of course, I'm not one that wants to do that. I will get myself to a safe location and find my people and then I'll be okay. Yeah. So, like, in this scenario, like, if I was him and every time I kept walking away, he was doing this to you guys, you know, like, I know you would say something.

Like you would say hey this fucking guy like just canoe over here can you do something about that I mean I would go find him and I would tell him. You come near us again, I'm going to knock you the fuck out. And then I would go to security and say, hey, that guy over there, I just told him, if he comes over to my girls again and bothers them, I'm going to knock him the fuck out. So either you do something or I'm going to do something.

Yeah. You know, and one of two things is going to happen. He's going to get kicked out or he's going to get knocked out. Yep. Either way, he's leaving. So, I mean, you know, and that's one thing, like, I know some people are like, oh, Pedro talks real big. Like I do because I will knock somebody the fuck out over somebody's safety, whether it's you two girls or anybody else. Oh, absolutely.

And you would be one of the people that others could come to and be like, hey, this guy is really bugging me. Like there's, I will say in the lifestyle, I have come across a lot of men that had been like that for me. Yeah. So those are good guys. They are good guys. And shout out to Jeff Stewart. He's definitely one of those. Like I could always count on him and he always looked out for me. And I will say from a club perspective, TJ's, every time I have gone to TJ's, they have known me by name.

Even the second time I went, they knew me by name and they will look out for the single females. They always have their eye out. And I've never had an issue at TJ's and they've always been very like they will check on me. If I come up to the bar solo to get a drink, they check in on me. That's awesome. Well, and speaking of Jeff Stewart, what's up, buddy?

Jeffrey! So, Jeff can correct me if I'm wrong on this, but I feel like, you know, back last year for the April, or the March takeover that we went to, you know, they asked me to help with security. And I feel like Jeff and Jessica asked me, because they know I will catch a charge to protect somebody, if you need me. You would, yes. So... You know, I know it's annoying when people talk big, but we've been in this for 10 years and have seen some really shitty things happen. Yeah, we have.

And have heard about some really shitty things. And that is not something I'm willing to let you two or anyone else go through if I can help it. Oh, yeah. I've been in scary situations. There was one time at Hedo that a couple cornered me in the pool and I couldn't get away. Yeah, see? And that's where... That's not okay. You know, if I was at Hedo and I saw that and like, I could tell you were kind of in distress, I would have been right in between those two and, you know, got you out of there.

And if they wouldn't leave you alone, I would have told them, get the fuck out of here. Or something bad's about to happen. Yeah, it was definitely one of those situations where I was panicking. Like, in my brain, I was panicking. Yeah, it was an internal panic of, how the fuck do I get out of this? What do I do? And thankfully, someone else, and I don't know if they recognized, but I think they knew that couple. They had come over and said something, and I was like, well, gotta go.

Yeah. So, like, they just sort of engaged with conversation with them, and I was like, yep, see you later. Hope I don't see you again. Unfortunately, he had gotten, And there was a few more instances over that week that he was very aggressive and the Hedo was very aware of who he was. Oh, yeah. I mean, he made a name for himself and not in a good way. Like, if you're going to be a douchebag, like, you better be tough. That's all I got to say. Yep.

Because I know I'm not the only one who feels the way I do. You're definitely not. And will do the things that I will do. You know, like maybe some guys might be a little more tactful about it, but I'm not a tactful person. You are very blunt. Yeah, I'm direct and to the point. So if any of our friends who are listening, you know, if we're ever out all, you know, at the same place, if you ever need a hand, I'm always there.

You know, like whether it's to just kind of be by your side to make sure nobody, you know, bugs you or whatever, or to actually make sure that somebody gets taken care of and is removed from the property. I will do whatever I can, you know, to help any of my friends and any of my people that I am not friends with yet. If you're listening and you see my ugly mug, just be like, Hey, Pedro. Yeah, literally. Or even if you see one of us girls, because obviously we're all three usually together.

If you see one of us girls and you're like, hey, can you get Pedro? We need help. Absolutely. 100%. Yeah. And, you know, shout out to all of my male friends who are listening to this that I know would do the same thing. You guys, the real kings. That they are. So I hope that answered your question there, VD.

And that's a really bad acronym for your name. But I don't want to say your actual email name on here just in case. So hope you guys enjoyed the show and we'll be back next week and make sure, you know, that you got a box of tissues for next week because it might be an emotional episode. I think possibly could be, we'll see only time will tell. But it'll be a good one. I promise. Yeah. So until next week, stay sexy and we'll see you later.

You've been listening to Swing Theory, where we turn theory into action and stories into connection. Follow the show wherever you listen and slide into the DMs on all the socials with your stories or questions. Or drop your confessions at SwingTheory2025 at gmail.com. Same trio, new stories. Next time on Swing Theory. It's a book.