Ep 10: Boundaries, Betrayal, and Bounce Back: Inside a Swinging Throuple

Okay. Round two. Round two. Ready. Fight.

This bitch is over here taking pictures. I wonder why. You're butt ass naked. It's hot in here. You were over there the last show with your fucking legs spread and your coochie all hanging out with your panties on. But I had panties on. Yeah, they didn't hide much. Facts. I don't know. They're see-through lace. Yeah, see-through lace panties. They're really snug. Yeah. My little lippies are all smooshed in there. Yeah. We can see the fluff,

too. There's a mound. Yeah. You see the fluff, and your lips are like cellophane-wrapped in lace. I don't know. You're hanging pretty good, though. That he is. Hanging low. Low rider. I'm a low rider. All my friends. Okay. I don't know. We might get in trouble for singing that. Oh, fair. I do not own the rights to that song. As we tell us, we can't sing it very well. All right. Well, we do have the rights to this one, though. Welcome to Swing Theory, where pleasure meets perspective.

Join Pedro, Tink, and Tiffany, your favorite trio of temptation, as they dive deep into the swinging lifestyle. From wild stories to honest talk about connection, communication, and community, they've seen it all, and they're sharing what they've learned from over a decade of non-monogamous adventures. So, pour a drink, relax, and get ready to explore your own theory of pleasure, right here on Swing Theory. And welcome back to episode number 10. And like always, I'm ready to beat these

two. We're getting in trouble again. This time it was definitely me. I was going to say, mine was off. I turned it off. Yeah. You could hear the rustling of the microphone in your hand as the intro was playing. That was me. I was pulling the rest of the cord up here so I had extra length. I made sure to turn mine off before I situated. Good girl. I tried. I have no fucks to give. Obviously. Yeah, I mean, we're up late, ready for bed.

I know. I was like, you know what? We better get moving on this because I'm saying fast. It is Saturday night. What you were doing was hoping that you could get away with dozing off in the corner over there if nobody said anything. I did think about that, but I already did that earlier, so there's no chance I could have done that a second time. Okay, girls. So, at the end of last week, we said this might be an emotional first half of this show. Tiff's like, what are we talking about today?

Fair. Yeah. I did not look at my notes yet on this one. I opened it. Didn't, actually. Yeah. So, today, on this first segment, we are going to be talking about being told no and having boundaries set as a woman. So last week we talked about boundaries in general, right? But it's not often that you hear about a woman having a boundary put on her or being told no, right? Factual. So now this kind of stemmed from last week because in the group,

there was a, you know, first move Friday type of thing. Right. And so some of our friends who we were hoping to get together with this coming weekend, the male half had reached out to Tink and asked her to dinner during the week. Because they're going to be working literally like 10, 15 minutes away from each other at some point. And, you know, being the responsible partner that Tink is, you know, she brought it to us and said, hey, he asked if I could go to dinner with him.

And you told her what you told us on last week's episode that you're not comfortable with that only because you don't get to do that kind of stuff with us during the week. So, in essence, Tink was told no for the first time in her lifestyle life. Yeah. Which made me giggle because, I mean, I've had to deal with her and just let her do all her shenanigans for the past 10 years. You know, I've never told her no. You have not. So, it was like an aha.

Gotcha, bitch. you know wow like it might not have been me telling you no but it's about damn time yeah i mean and not saying that like i condone you know like telling people no but i mean in this case it's a very valid reason why you know because like you said many times now you don't get that time with us right we get the weekend that's it and unfortunately weekends like this weekend are very short yes yeah you know and it sucks but i feel like as a woman in the

lifestyle how often are you told no i mean or have boundaries put on you i'd say it's very far and few between i mean it's a going into the lifestyle in the scenarios that say what are the other person's boundaries you know we may have to set boundaries stories. Typically, like you either just follow others boundaries or it's a free for all. Yeah. I mean, that's that's been my experience. Like women either set the boundaries or they're pretty much free to do what they want.

And it even gets as crazy as, you know, like consent when it comes to women. Like nobody polices the women who break consent rules. You know, like we see it all the time. Women will come up and, you know, grab guys' junk or even touch other women, you know, without asking. I've had that. But nothing is said about that. You know, there's no rules for women.

So, now that we've had this talk about boundaries and stuff, and Tink, for the first time in her lifestyle life, has to abide by a boundary, you know? So, like, how do you feel about that, Tink? Like, how did it make you feel, like, when you were told that? Because, like, you knew that that was a boundary, you know, that her and I had set up for me. So, how did that make you feel? I mean, I think the first initial thought was it was kind of like a surprise because, like, we hadn't discussed.

I mean, it wasn't where I had initially thought that, you know, we were all in the same boat. It was, again, where we talked about. You thought you had privileges. No. Pretty privileged. It was examples of what I was needing to clarify everything. And that's where it was a little murky because I was looking at it as, well, if it was just for dinner, is that okay? Versus overall how you're feeling with, well, you don't get to see me, same as you don't get to see Pedro.

So in those instances, then you are not okay with that even if it is just going out for dinner. And that's where I get it. And it was still a little bit of a shock, though, because I was like, well, it's food. But because you don't get to do that, it makes sense. So, yeah, it was kind of a shock of, oh, OK, that's not that won't work. So now and now I'm not trying to. Start some shit here. Don't you always?

I mean, but I think it's fair that listeners get the true, honest, you know, situation here. So aside from being shocked, like, did you feel like upset at any point or like, wait, what? Like, you can't do that to me.

Not like, no, you can't do that to me. It was, I think the, well, what, what hurt would it do, honestly for me because I wasn't looking at it as like I guess potential play partner but I wasn't looking at it as that instance wasn't a play situation so I think for me I really was legitimately looking at it as like it's just this it's just something vanilla even though it's not vanilla.

Which I find hilarious just because, you know, when we were transitioning into solo play and stuff, there was many times where, you know, like, Tink may not have told me no to something, even going out to dinner. But I definitely was aware she was not happy with my decision to continue with my plans. Really? You don't say. So, I mean, I feel like because you've never been told no, in fact, like you've always been encouraged to do things.

I have been, whether I actually took that encouragement and ran with it or not is a different story, but I have been encouraged to explore different things. Yes. And having never been told, no, I don't feel comfortable with that. Like, I'm sure at some level it had to have been like, the fuck you mean I can't do that? No, it was more of like a, I guess you could, I mean, yes, I was bummed that I couldn't make that happen just because like time-wise, you know, location-wise, it would make sense.

And that part, I think, is what kind of had me bummed about it. But then there is that, oh, so you can't do things. You have to run it by, I mean, obviously you'd run it by everybody.

But it's not the you know just discussing it with you like I have to discuss it with you too so that in itself was a change and I for what I remembered to actually be like hey I need to talk this out first I will do that you know this weekend and we will figure out you know what can be what we can do or whatever make sure everybody's on the same page and who's okay with everything, And that was actually something that was asked, you know, would it be okay?

Yeah. And I mean, again, like I find it funny because normally in the past, it wasn't like you were asking me. It would be more like, hey, so-and-so asked me to do this. Like, I'm probably going to do that. Like, like it wasn't so much of a question as it was a statement, even though like you were maybe feeling out how I was going to react. Right, sort of seeking approval without asking for approval.

Yeah, because you knew, I wasn't going to tell you no. So I think seeing you go through that, I mean, I chuckled. Of course. But I'm sure that was hard in your own way to kind of wrap your head around, even though it was for a good reason. Like, it's not like, you know, Tiff was like, nah, bitch, you can't do that. Yeah. I mean, to be honest, it actually kind of, I don't want to use the word humble, even though it sounds like it wouldn't work. Yeah. It kind of humbled your ass because.

Well, now I'm in the same boat as you. Oh, no. Officially, not that I was thinking that I wasn't or anything like that. Oh, you were not ever. Yeah. I'm in my own little world. Again, it's a pretty privilege. Oh, my God. Again, I'm in my own little world, and I'm just like, not expecting anything. So, like, I don't think about those things.

So, when it did come up, I, again, didn't think anything of it and just said, yeah, like, that's going to be a discussion that has to be had and see what we can do. Yeah. I just. I mean, I guess you could say I wasn't expecting it to be an issue, but I understand where TIFF's coming from with it. I know, but that's my favorite part, is that you weren't expecting it to be an issue, and you got slapped with a TIFF tariff.

And like like you made mention of like now you're like me well welcome to my world for 11 years yeah and i think that's also what's even more interesting as i'm just kind of like okay so i can't do that yeah i mean so now tiff when we got into this relationship, You know, as we said last week, you were very gung-ho on you're going to do what you've been doing. Right. You know, you were going to be the single female unicorn.

You were still going to go out and play and, you know, do whatever you wanted to do. And now we had talked about earlier today, you went to a hotel takeover in February after we first started dating and we were supportive of that. Right. And you knew and told us like going into it, like, you know, I have friends there that, you know, I'm probably going to play with. And we were like, yeah, you know, cool. And the only, I guess, rules, if you know, quote unquote rules that we set up. Your asks.

Yeah, was just to, you know, staying in communication with us. Yeah, just to let us know what was happening. And if there was going to be any play letting us know, like, what was going to occur. Right, like when I was going, when play was going to happen. And then when I was done. So during that weekend, now this was your first like actual event that you went to since we officially became a Thrupple. Right. Because there was a club night that you went to when you and I were talking.

Yes, yep. The glow night. Yes. And again, like, that was a night that you were, quote, very active. Yes, I was very active that night. We weren't dating yet. I think it was like, what, a day or two after the dick pic came? Yeah. Well. No, it was a week. It was a couple weeks, I think. Or like a week or two after we had started talking.

And you know but like you had said that you were going you know and then or actually yeah it had to be like two weeks because then like i was told yeah later on once like i kind of knew like i wanted to date you that you were very active yeah very active so active but i mean that didn't bother me at all you know still here and so at this hotel takeover you know we had that one rule i guess, staying in communication and prior we had talked about who i knew was going

to be there who i'd be interested in playing with and you know just again to have that open communication so now did you feel at that point like we were kind of putting you in a box in any way i didn't i didn't think going into it, no, but it was definitely a change for me just having to, I don't want to say, because it's going to sound bad, but having to answer to somebody or having to, you know, keep that lines of communication open.

It wasn't as spontaneous as I'm used to. Like, I'm used to just. Doing whatever, doing as I please. So, like, having those check-ins and being more mindful of where I was, you know, making sure I kept in contact with you guys, which we talked about that Friday night, which was Valentine's Day. So, I was definitely absent because it was the first day of the takeover, getting there, getting everything unpacked. I'd actually met my friends for lunch that day. And then we went to the takeover.

So there was definitely a big gap between when I would reach out to you guys for communication. So that was a lesson learned. And it was definitely frustrating for you guys, because being so far away, you were still in Alabama. I'm up here at a hotel takeover by myself. And it's Valentine's Day, our first Valentine's Day, which we weren't physically together, but still our first Valentine's Day as a throuple.

So it definitely, and it was a couple of weeks after I had just came down to see you guys, which we did not mention. I guess we just had our one year anniversary of kidnapping. Well, it was the kidnapping anniversary was literally yesterday. Yes. Yes. It was yesterday. Yes. The ninth. So we had that. We had the kidnapping anniversary, which was our first in-person meet. So going into that weekend, I didn't feel like there were any boundaries other than let me know.

Yeah. And I mean, now what we had talked about earlier today, like I won't go into all the nitty gritty details of that, but I mean, there was some communication breakdown and, Like there was a situation that you and I specifically kind of had a disagreement about where you felt like I was kind of attacking you in a way. And, you know, when really I was just trying to be honest with what I saw, right, turned out to be true. Unfortunately, he has a thing about calling things. I know.

So, what we had talked about today is that that specific event kind of led to you being disinterested in the lifestyle. Correct. Yes, it did. It sort of took the wind out of my sails after that weekend because it was one of those things where I went into it having a good time with friends that I've known for quite a while. And, you know, with that disagreement, we saw things very differently. So it was one of those things where coming out of it, it just felt like I was

doing something wrong or which again is my brain. It's the story I'm telling myself, right? So I just felt like I was doing something wrong or that, you know, I wasn't able to have a good time because, you know, we did talk about it that weekend while I was still there. So it was just very hard because the rest of that night then wasn't a normal party night for me. And now, do you feel like after that weekend, did you feel like you were then put in a box at that point?

I know that I was putting myself in a box because I didn't want to go through that again. It was one of those things where, with it being so different for me, like, I now have to learn how to navigate the lifestyle in a completely different way.

So it was definitely a big learning curve for me going into that weekend as unicorn tiff and sort of coming out of that weekend with holy fuck i am not unicorn tiff and i definitely have had to go about things very differently and i'm still learning, So, I mean, in a roundabout kind of way, like, would you say that you feel like you were, in a way, told no? I mean, yeah, sort of. I mean, because it was one of those things where it's like, I see this, you know, it's not a good thing.

It's, you know, we shouldn't be doing things that certain way. So it was definitely very hard for me to go about it because, you know, I thought I was doing something. I thought I was quote-unquote following the rules and then it turned into a bigger deal. So I did feel like there was restrictions. And, you know, in my defense, like I told you earlier today, you know, there was no issue with you going, with you playing. Correct.

Yeah, there was no issues around any of that. Like the actual lifestyle part of it, there was no issues with. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that was the part that was still encouraged. Yeah, like, it was how you reacted to what I had told you about that situation. Right. Yeah. I mean, it was hard to hear because, you know, you, my experience in the lifestyle was very different than the experience between the two of you. Because again, going in as a single female, the world is at your fingertips.

Like there are no boundaries on you, except for, you know, obviously you respect other people's boundaries. But other than that, there's no boundaries on you. So having to have those discussions and then because you are very intuitive and read people and read the situations because it's the tism, it was one of those things I didn't want to accept it. And I wholeheartedly understand that. I mean, nobody wants to be told what I was telling you.

Right. You know, and like, I'm sorry, I have to be bag here, but I'm not trying to cause any drama or anything like that. Facts. You know, but... That it's unfortunate, and I told you this today, that that kind of took the wind out of your sails and made you look at the lifestyle in a not so favorable way and that you felt like there was restrictions on you. When in reality, at that point, there was no restrictions. Yeah, again, it's the story that I was telling myself and it's I put myself

in that box because I just didn't want to go through that again. Right. And, you know, like, obviously, we were still in Alabama. so there was like i had no desire to stop you you know from doing things i mean hell you even went to another i think it was one or two club nights or like a club night i did the.

Yes which was another glow party because i love my glow yeah but i mean again that was encouraged and you know i didn't want you to feel like oh what the fuck did i get myself into you know Right. These people 900 miles away are trying to tell me I can't.

Do my thing i didn't want that right and that's that's i didn't feel that way like it wasn't a i felt like i couldn't do anything it was just definitely a very big shift mentally on i don't know how to do this and that's fair you know because like we said last week you were on tinder for a couple years and then a unicorn in the lifestyle like you could literally it was a free for all do whatever you wanted like you didn't have to ask anybody you

know what their thoughts on it were you didn't have to check in with anybody you know like literally you're just doing your own thing yeah you could roam around a club for six hours and never think about a single person but yourself literally yeah that you don't have to do check-ins you don't have to be like oh I wandered off where's my other half I should probably go find them nope yeah so I mean with it being such a big adjustment you know like this past year especially since

that February takeover like we've talked about you know wanting to do lifestyle things and this and that and even when we've gone to events like you were get so excited about going and then we'd get there and you were just meh yeah i it took it. Took a really big mental toll because again like i was so afraid of doing something wrong or making the wrong choice or you know upsetting either one of you. And it's one of those things where i was excited to go because i love the atmosphere.

But i was a bump on a log when we got there because i didn't know what to do like i i don't know i'm still trying to figure out and navigate how to do that with just still being the lifestyle Tiff. Yeah, and I mean, like, I think the frustrating part for me is, like, I've been encouraging you, you know, to be Lifestyle Tiff, you know, just like I've been encouraging Tink to get back to being Tink, you know.

And, like, I know people that have been on the Facebook pages and stuff like that have probably noticed, like, Tink hasn't been really around for a couple years now. Like, she pops in here and there. Yeah. But she used to be on there every day, you know, and like, I miss her being active. I miss you being active because I mean, hell, that's how we met. Like I met. Me being too active, very active. You're very active, Tiff. I met and fell in love with Lifestyle Tiff. Yeah.

And to be clear, the lifestyle tiff was the confident, carefree, you know, very social butterfly. Always happy. Always happy. Very happy-go-lucky. Like you could, I was just, and not that I'm not happy now. I just want to make that very clear. I just lost my confidence. I lost my confidence. God, I'm going to get emotional. I lost the confidence that I had when I was the single independent female.

And it's not a bad thing. now i just have to figure out who relationship tiff is yeah i mean and that's why i've been encouraging you you know so much since the beginning like i never wanted you to lose that you know and same thing with tink like i never wanted her to lose that you know spark for the lifestyle either right but like in her case it was more of like just life you know getting a big girl job you know she wasn't an OF girl anymore you know the kids getting older so it was

a little harder to you know stay in that mindset all the time which is all understandable you know but again like. We both fell in love with Tink. Right. You know, and Tink loved herself when she was Tink. And now, you know, she's a lot like you, like she'd lost something and you can physically see it, you know, the same way you have lost your confidence and that spark and you can physically see it. Yeah.

You know, and what sucks is to the unknowing people in our lives, you know, like they're going to look at it and say, man, she must not be happy in that situation. Right. And unfortunately, that is how some people are going to interpret it. Right. I'm sure there's going to be. Did you listen to that last episode? Yeah. Shit's hitting the fan, which is the furthest from the truth. You know, it's it's just such a big shift to try and figure that out.

I mean, anybody who has been in shitty relationships know that that first healthy relationship is the hardest. And it's really just trying to navigate everything. Like, you're so used to all of the, you know, negative feedback that you're getting from your partner, whether it's the emotional abuse, the physical abuse, whatever it is. So going into a relationship with not just one, but two people that are so supportive

and having that compassion and just so caring with everything that comes up. I'm sorry. It's okay, baby. I told you this was going to be an emotional episode. I know. Yeah, for me. I mean, it is for me too. I got a little bit. I mean, it's hard. It's hard going into that and then learning how to navigate and, you know, you self-sabotage because you're like, okay, well, I acted like an idiot yesterday on our conversation, like, constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop.

Like, when is enough enough for you guys? And I'm just, like, I feel like when I'm in my overthinking mindset, it's definitely one of those things where I'm just waiting for you guys to be like, nope, I'm done. And like I keep reminding you, been here for a year now. I know. I've gone through the ups and downs, the highs and lows, because that's what our relationships are.

They're not perfect, and they're always evolving, and all different things come up, and the communication is always going to be there, and that's what healthy relationships do. And you get through all of those changes by communicating with each other, even when it's super fucking hard. Yeah. Or if you feel like you're going in circles because, you know, you felt like you took one step forward but four steps back.

Yeah, and I mean, like, you know, I said last week, you know, I have never yelled at you. I've never raised my voice to you. You know, like, this is how I talk to you. Even when you're losing your shit. it's just a matter of fact tone yeah you know like but it makes you feel like a little kid is getting in trouble it depends. Because, again, the tone is always the same, but it's what he's saying. Yes. That it's just like, gosh, damn it, I'm in trouble again. Yep.

Well, I mean. And that's just the way that our little kid heart feel, right? Because a lot of that trauma, not that we need the psychology of all of it, but a lot of that trauma does come from the way we were raised or the trauma that we had as a little kid, you know, constantly being told that we're not enough.

And that's not what you're saying at all, Pedro. Like, you are truthfully having that conversation to support us and understand what's happening and come to a resolution that works for all of us. And you're truly just doing it to help us as a throuple and even our individual relationships, whether it's you and me or you and Tink. But unfortunately, it is from the trauma from when we were a kid and always told and being scolded that it feels that way.

Right we always feel like we're doing something wrong at any time that we do get you know talked about things and you know we made the wrong decision and that's why we are having this conversation because well guess what you know we fucked up well and but like i told you today it's okay to fuck up like fucking up is part of being human but it's it's how you respond to that fuck up you know and i've told you this for a long time now that's been my biggest issue it's not the thing

it's how the thing is handled yes and like i know that i get either a defensive b just shut down completely c i do a combination of the two,

Or you push away. Yeah. Either a i'm over it over it in a sense of i don't know what the hell else to do like we've we've talked about it feels like you're going in circles in the same conversation when in reality you're just looking for me to acknowledge and just be like bitch do better sometimes right depending on the situation obviously but then for me it's that you know i fucked up again i don't i don't know how to

fix it i don't know what to do so then i'm just like what's the point yeah and And I mean, again, like every conversation that I have with you or with the two of you, you know, like so much of this relationship, just like my individual relationship with Tink, you know, and my individual relationship with you, like I always put myself last. You do. My happiness is last because I've lived that life, you know, like I'm comfortable there.

Like my goal is to make you guys happy which in turn does wonders for all of us and that's what i'm trying to you know get you well both of you to understand on a regular basis you know because.

Like i i know you're both used to people either tearing you down making you feel you know like you're not good enough or you know that you're the problem and the thing is i'm a problem solver, you know like i wouldn't say i'm the white knight type of guy but i'm definitely a problem solver so if you have a problem as long as you talk to me about it we can solve it, And you're good at that, too, because you see the other side of everything. And you're basically an unpaid therapist.

So you've got that in your back pocket. And that in itself is helpful with trying to work through all the different things and why we do the things that we do. Well, yeah. And so to bring this back to being told no, like, I know mentally you have felt like you were told no. Like you can't be lifestyle TIF anymore. But we had a discussion today where, you know, we are going to, like all three of us are going to be more active. Right.

With the lifestyle, you know, like getting involved in the pages more, communicating all of that between the three of us, you know, because that was a big thing.

Like you may be interested in somebody and you may have you know some back and forth or you might be messaging somebody and but it would be like this up and down like you would do it especially fall off yeah and like a lot of it was like it started as if you felt like you were in your head about something with our relationship it would spike up right and then almost like a distraction right it was a distraction and then it once our stuff got better you would drop off.

And then it would, you know, do this pattern to the point where then I would have to be like, hey, I'm seeing this pattern. Like, what do I need to know about this? You know, and it's not a, you can't do this. Just tell me what it is. Right. You know, like, are you interested in this person? Like, would you want to try to set up play? Like, what is the deal? Because you wouldn't say anything.

To where now you know what we discussed is we need to tell each other you know like hey i'm going back and forth with so and so right you know like i'm not really interested i just like to flirt you know right or you know yeah i find this person attractive and there's a potential i may want to play you know at some point like and just having that open communication you know constantly because it's not like we're not in the pages every day right we're just not participating every day i don't know

depends on the day for well yeah i'll go like four days without being on okay so tiff and i are in the pages every day browsing yeah yeah so like i usually hit it up more towards the weekend i'm busy with work and talking with you guys so i don't usually hop on until you need to do better yeah with that and i will do better, I know you will because I'm going to make you do better also just putting this out there.

I also am a little bit cautious when I'm at work when I'm on there because of where I sit yeah I mean no and that's deterring me quite a bit that's completely fair like I'm not saying to be on however when you're doing your doom scroll on TikTok at night right yeah that's when I could do it for two hours yeah plus I can switch up what I'm doing but and on your lunch break I mean you have an hour lunch break like like.

You can participate. But if I do go, like, once I get better, if I do go, if I post first thing in the morning and then I'm gone for the day, it's because I don't need people seeing titties and ass and all the things that get posted because they walked behind me. Which is understandable. But you've been just completely ignoring it. And that's the problem. You know, like. Yeah, I mean, I was doing life. I mean, yeah, but no.

Like, the lifestyle is. Surviving life? No, the lifestyle has been a part of our life for the last 10 years. So you can't say like, oh, like the same shit we've been doing for 10 years has gotten in the way.

You're choosing not to do it. That's the thing. I am I'm prioritizing in different areas right hence the you know you not being tink anymore because tink always prioritize that you know along with you know your normal everyday life duties that you needed to do but now it's like you're just like yeah lifestyle I could take it or leave it and that's what we need to change if we're all gonna continue to do this because we can't have one or two of us

gung-ho and one or two of us like, meh, I don't really fucking care. You know, because like, obviously, like especially in Tiff's case. She doesn't want to be the one that's like gung ho because then she's going to feel like we're going to feel like, well, what the fuck? Like, why does she? Right. And that was one of the other things that, you know, was one of my big worries is I don't want to make you guys feel like I want to go back to being unicorn tiff.

Like I've had the shits of this thruple and, you know, I'm like dying to go back to that unicorn self and, you know, not have any rules and have the free for I don't want that. So that's also been one of the things that I've struggled with is because I don't want you guys to feel that way. Right. Like you don't want us to take it the wrong way of how you're being.

But to Pedro's point, like when we were talking earlier, you know, with me not keeping up the communication on who I am talking to and when that it does come off that way. Right. And that's what I was going to say. Like, like in my head, I know that you don't want that. But when, you know, my autistic brain sees those patterns, I'm like, well, it's either that or, you know, she's just trying to piss me off. Which the bratty side of me says, hell yes.

Right. Well, and I've had that before where people would try to get back at me, you know, because they feel upset about something, you know, was like, oh, let me go. Right. Tip for tat. And that's not at all what we're trying to do here. So, I mean... But again, like I've been telling you for a long time, like I want you involved, you know, and I don't want you to like discount the lifestyle and to take yourself out of it. You know, I just want to be kept in the loop of what you're doing. Yeah.

And that's valid. It's just the box that I put myself in because of me worrying about all of these other factors that don't exist. Right. And like, so like for me, like we talked about last week, I don't like to watch certain play scenarios with you or Tink, but I love seeing the interaction on the pages. And like, like that excites you. Yeah. Like I love knowing that my ladies, you know, are being objectified basically. Right.

I mean, that's, I enjoy that, you know, and I enjoy seeing you two interact back. So, but again, just tell me like, oh, you know, like with this guy, just like going back and forth with them or like with this couple or woman or whatever, you know, I'm interested. That's all, that's all it needs to be. You know, I'm not going to get mad, you know, like, you know, like I said, if I have a problem with somebody. Right. I'll let you know. But I mean, I want you to, to enjoy the lifestyle.

So, you know, even like if it means in that scenario with, you know, your friends that you may play with alone. Like I told you back in the summertime. Yeah, you did. I'm like. Make it happen. Make it happen. Yeah. I mean. I mean, you have both of our supports on that. Yeah. I mean, at that point, it's just life and then, you know, me making sure that I don't feel guilty for doing it. Yeah. And then I'm sure it was going to, there'll still be, I think, a part of you that will feel guilty.

But I think if as long as when you come back, you still see that we were still just as encouraging as we were before. Honestly, I think you would feel much better if Tink was involved also. I agree with that. So, I mean, and again, I have no problem with that. It's just a matter of if you two decide that that's what you want to do, you know, like I'm good with whatever. And I mean, I've had that stance from day one.

Yeah, you have. And again, we've had that discussion around, like, do you and I go about the lifestyle together? Oh, I just thought about this. You were told no specifically one time. Tell me more. When we first started dating. Ah, yes. So. Yes, I was. So we had just started dating. I don't even think it was a week or two. Probably not. And you messaged me and said, hey, one of my old play partners wants to get together and have a play date.

And then once you told me who it was and all that, I was like, yeah, I don't feel comfortable with that. Yep. That was like, yeah, probably shouldn't do that. I mean, and. If I would have went ahead with it, again, you weren't specifically telling me no, but it was a, I'm not comfortable with that. It's going to be an issue. Right, because in my defense, we had just been dating for a couple weeks. Yep, that makes it a little hard. And then you had the distance on top of it. We had the distance.

I was on the road, too. So, like, I didn't even have the support of Tink at the time, you know, except for the weekends. You had the support through a phone. Right.

And, you know, like, my biggest thing was, like, I could just tell by the way you talked about this guy, that it was a much deeper thing than just play right you know and like whether it was friendship or any type of romantic feelings like i don't know i don't care but i could tell that it was deeper than just hey we fucked a couple times and it was fun and i was like yeah i'm not gonna let my brand new girlfriend basically go fuck an ex-boyfriend right and to be fair like

it it's a best friend with benefits right like that's going into it was a best friend with benefits situation so yeah like we did have more of that deeper connection not in the romantic way but it was definitely like but it was hard to decipher that absolutely because i was very defensive oh you when we had the conversation about it because you were very upset that i said i was very upset and again like we were just dating and it's one of those

things where i was very adamant about, I'm still going to do my normal stuff. And I wasn't sure why that was such an issue. And also he was my best friend with benefits. Like, so it was hard. It was hard to basically hear no and then be like, what the fuck? Yeah. So that was the one time I told you no. You're right. Even though I didn't specifically say no. It was still a, I'm telling you that I'd prefer you didn't do it. But in reality, don't fucking do it. Yeah.

Because, I mean, like, honestly, to me, it would have been no different than me going back to one of my ex-poly partners. Right. You know, to me, it's the same thing. Yeah. So. But actually, what I wanted to add to that is that is basically then your first taste of what it was like to be in a relationship in a lifestyle.

Yes. and that's where it was a huge like what the fuck because you didn't get to do what you normally would do and just do your own thing exactly and i think that from my perspective that it was more of i don't know that i necessarily posed it as a question i think it was like a hey which weekend works better this is gonna happen that's exactly what you did oh my yeah yeah it was you know hey so-and-so reached out and asked about getting together these

are the dates yeah these are the dates that we're thinking and i was like that we're thinking and you're like what yeah and i'm pretty sure i said something along the lines of well i'm thinking that's not a great idea yeah probably probably you know because as soon as i saw the name i was like nope. I mean sorry not sorry if you're listening but i mean i was not about to like i said Relationship trumps.

Absolutely. Yeah. And eventually, when you calmed down, you did understand why that was a bad idea. Yes. Yes. In the moment, of course, it wasn't like that. No, it was very frustrating. It was very... It was hard to wrap your head around it because it was different. She hung up on me. I'm sure she did. I'm sure she did. Who called back? To be fair. She did. I did. Yeah, I don't call back. He's like, this bitch is going to have to call me. To be fair.

It was a, I need to get off the phone right now. Yeah. Click. At least you didn't just hang up cold, like, didn't say shit. Yeah. Like, there was no option. I warned him I was hanging up on him. Yeah. But there was no option. That was nice. You got a warning. Yeah. It was literally, I need to hang up the phone right now, hung up, and heard nothing from him. That makes sense. Yeah. And then she called me back, like, 10 minutes later.

Yeah. So, of course, it was a text message to him being like, I'm sorry. You just, you need to give me a couple minutes to get myself together. And he's like, okay. Even more of his passive-aggressive like, okay, this is the game we're going to play today. Well, that's the thing. Like, I don't play games. Like, you know. And to be fair, I don't think his response was just okay. I think it truly was, like you said, the, whenever you're ready, you can call me back.

Like, he was still the supportive boyfriend in that moment, even though he wanted to murder me on the spot. Yeah. You know, there was a dumpster at some point that he might drop you off. Yes, that is accurate. But see, I mean, so here's the thing. Like, I am the supportive boyfriend, but it has a limit. Right. Yeah. You know, and at the time, like, you were very blind as to what should be acceptable, even in a lifestyle relationship.

You know and you couldn't think clearly about that until it was almost probably 45 minutes after the initial phone call when you calm down and you know i told you i'm like look i'm not trying to stop you from doing things but here's the thing like you've talked to the talk to me about this guy for weeks and weeks now you know you kept saying he's my favorite play partner you know, like I love hanging out with him.

Like he's just the best. And, you know, and I said, I'm like, reverse that yeah and you're not wrong and she was like okay i'm not gonna get all right fuck.

He's got a point yeah because i mean like at that point in our relationship there was no way either of us would have been okay with something like that yeah especially when you did the reverse of it and you were like yeah i wouldn't have wanted him to go and play with somebody that i was saying all these things about that would not make me feel very comfortable. And again, that kind of started the distance thing that you were experiencing. But...

It would be for like. Sort of reversed, yeah. Right, it was reversed. Right. So, I mean, that was the one and only time I basically told you no. Mm-hmm. And, but after that though, I mean, we had talked about the potential of, you know, maybe you and Tink playing with him or, you know. But, I mean, like I still wouldn't be super cool with it. But again, you know, not trying to be that asshole, you know,

boyfriend. But again, it's just one of those things like, I know you wouldn't be okay even now with something very similar to that. Yeah, and we've talked about that. Yeah. So it's a... It's a delicate subject. It is. But, I mean, you finally handled it well. Took a while. Like it always does. Right. It's a process. I also just want to say, so everybody is aware, I am aware of how ridiculous I am, and I am actively in therapy.

So yes she is in therapy I'm very proud of her for that because when we first met you were in therapy yes yes and you were doing very well like you know you were able to communicate on difficult subjects pretty easily yeah and then she retired and then she retired, that was great right when you needed her the most right when the shit was getting real yeah when I didn't realize it was getting real it was like that you know

what things are going pretty great right now like it'll be okay Because I had somebody to guide me through it. And then it went all downhill from there.

Yeah. So overall, you know, you two have both now been told no. Two princesses that are not used to that. And I mean, like, how are you feeling overall about that? Like the two of you, like. Like I said before, it's that humbling, I guess you could call it where you. You're not technically on that pedestal. Like, you are just like everybody else. There aren't going to be things that, there are going to be things that come up that you're not going to be able to do.

Womp, womp. Welcome to having a penis in your lifestyle. Sorry, mine is a no parts. Doesn't matter. Now you know what it's like to have a real one. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It doesn't function properly. How about you, Tiff? Like, how do you feel overall about, you know, there being a no and, you know, there's still being some boundaries compared to being single unicorn, Tiff?

Like I said before, I mean, obviously, there's still things that I have to learn as a throupled person going through the lifestyle. But overall, I mean, I know that even if the conversations don't start off well, that the three of us have those detailed conversations and come out of it with a better understanding of things.

So while yes there may be some things that I myself am not able to or you know the three of us have decided we're going to do things a certain way I'm comfortable with it knowing that it's a decision that the three of us made but being on the opposite end of it where I feel like I'm the one that's setting those boundaries and putting you two in a box I still struggle with.

And that's understandable, you know, but again, this being new to you, like, I know she may struggle a bit with the boundaries, but I'm used to it, you know, like I'm not gonna, you know, throw a hissy fit because I have to wait, you know, eight more months or whatever to be able to play the way I really want to play. Right. Like, once we're all living together, you know, like you've said, that will probably pretty much eliminate any of those thoughts.

Yeah, because, I mean, we're literally going to be in the same space unless we're at work. Right. Yeah. So, you guys coming home to me every night is going to be a huge shift in everything. Yeah. So, I mean, I got to wait eight, nine months, whatever it is. I mean, oh, well, I mean, I'm pretty fucking busy during the week anyway. At least spring, summer, and fall. I was going to say, and it's only going to get busier when we're all together with four kids.

I mean, wintertime would be nice to be able to do stuff, but... Wrestling. Well, I mean, for me, because I'm... Oh, that's fair. I'm basically jobless right now. That's fair. I mean, I'm not, but... Right. It's just, yeah. So, I have lots of time on my hands, but the only problem is, I don't know until the night before. Right. It's not consistent. Yeah. Be like, well, I think I can. And then last minute, literally last minute. Like, by the way, you got to get up at 4 a.m.

Or the opposite where you're like, oh, no, I shouldn't have any work next week. Let's plan for this day. And then be like, shit, just kidding. Got to cancel. Yep. Right. So, I mean, like, I would love to be like, hey, I'm going to come out Tuesday night. But I can't do that because I don't find out if I'm working the next day until about six, seven o'clock.

Right. Or, you know, you are planning on working and then you have that later in the day message where it's like, nope, no work for tomorrow. And you're like, well, fuck, I can't do anything now either. Yeah. So it sucks, you know, but it is what it is. And like I said, eight, nine more months, it won't be an issue anymore. Agreed. Because my ugly ass will be coming home to you every day.

He's gonna get tonight is gonna be the night that he's gonna get sucker bunched you know pillows work great for smell tonight's also gonna be the night that we're gonna end this show with a little game of who is most likely to do some dumb shit, I like it so okay number one who is most likely to pee on someone during play I'm gonna say Tank, it's me I've literally seen her do it like two or three times I mean fair There is video proof of both.

Yes. Now, this was consensual. It was asked for. It was asked for, yes. But yeah, I have never peed on anybody during play. Really? Yeah. Nobody wants to get peed on, a bunch of pussies. Apparently, you haven't found the right people, because I have. Well, no, I mean like play partners. Fair. Yeah. Like in the lifestyle, play partners. Yeah. But Tink's had two. Yeah, two. This became my kink of what I like to do. Legit, if you want to be pissed on, I have no problem doing that.

Yeah. I mean, you pee enough, so. I do, right? It's hot to watch. I'm sure. It is. I almost can pee on demand. It's that awesome. So anybody out there that likes that, hit your girl up. I got you. All right. So the second one here. Who is more likely to send a naughty pic by accident? Oh, my God. I know. Perfect person. That one. The naked man sitting in the corner. Yeah, that's definitely. I wonder how that might have occurred then.

I mean, it's definitely happened more than once, but the worst one was like eight or nine years ago. And I was at work and I took a dick pic while I was driving. Sounds so safe. I'm talented. We know. And it was a really good pic, I will say.

So I was excited to send it to Tink. and it was a really hot freaking pic i was on snapchat so back then you know like if you like miss the button it would take you to that like page with all the the bullets that you would have to click on to send to people well since i was driving a big truck i clicked her name and hit a bump and ended up clicking eight other people now this is before i had my pedro snapchat This was my regular vanilla Snapchat,

my original Snapchat. Okay. I've had, like, I had family on there. I didn't send any family, thank God. I would have died. I had friends from high school, coworkers. Oh, no. Like, yeah. So it ended up being six women and two guys that I sent this to.

All six women snapped me back after well before because you couldn't delete back then there was no delete option so i messaged them all real quick and i was like i am so sorry this was supposed to be to my girlfriend i you know i accidentally you know thumb fucked the screen and you know every woman that it got sent to and i think almost all of them were married you know like vanilla people came back with a you know basically a that's a nice dick right like not mad about it good job you

know so i was like it's pretty hot wow okay so then two of the guys fellow truck drivers they're like that's gay as shit but nice you know could have been a worse outcome yeah definitely could have been a worse outcome sounds like they all passed the vibe check well And a few of the vanilla women actually followed me to my Pedro snap for a while. They're like, I want to see more of those dick pics. Yeah. Like, they're going to lurk.

Yeah, they did. They lurked for years until finally they just dropped off. That's funny. So that would be me. And like I said, I've done it a couple more times, like not as bad, but. That is humiliating. I'm like, oh, yeah, because it was other lifestyle people that I didn't mean to send to. Right, so at that point, it's a huge deal. I can knock my mic over. All right, so. All over a damn dick pic. The next one. Who is most likely to fuck a stranger and forget their name?

That. That one? Would be Tiff. That would be factual. Because on my list of people. How many question marks are there? There's no question marks. There's no question marks, but there's some of them that. Are you doing their name? I don't have their name. It is like either their Snapchat name or... I think there's one in there that might be like Harry Dude or something like that. Yeah, I don't know. Wow. Yeah. Yep. So that just tells me that they weren't memorable. No.

I mean, they were because it was not great. Oh, it was memorable in that way? Yeah. Yes. So how do you know, though? I know this is all talk, but how do you know which ones were memorable in a good way or a bad way? Do you put asterisks or something next to their name? No. So, on my list, if I know their full name, it's their full name. If I knew their first name, it's just their first name. But it's the year and how I met them. I should say how I connected with them.

So, to be fair, both of yours says your name, the year, and then PA Couples. Because technically, we met in the PA Couples group or connected to the PA Couples group. I mean, that makes sense. Yeah. But again, how do you know which ones were memorable for a good thing? I mean, if I have to look at the name and be like, so it's just basically off memory. Yeah, like I don't have any scoring system. I was just curious because some people do. Some people do, yes.

When I had a list written down, like I didn't have a like one or two or stars or anything like that. It was just like, here's the list. And I would look at the name and be able to determine from there. Gotcha. Okay. I was just curious. So, who is most likely to join a gangbang? Also me. Also Tiff. I probably won't know half of their names, but... I didn't say you won't have to worry. I'll just put gangbang guy number two.

Do you include that when you do play with multiples? Like, do you like... No. No. She's pulling up said list. Let me double check. Well, because like a good example is the Hedo pool. Like, do you have? No, because I remember their first names. Okay. At the very least. Well, that's what I was wondering. Like, do you still have like, if it was a, like in that case, it was three guys. Oh, yeah. So there's one guy in here that's BJ Hat Guy, Blowjob Hat Guy. Okay.

Again, don't remember a thing about that experience, but nope. Oh, I do have one called Stage 5 Clinger in here, though. Nice. That was the Hedo guy. No, that was a different guy. Oh, that was a different stage five cleaner. Yeah. No, I don't have anything. I mean, I have in there that I met them at Hedo, but that's it. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, because I have all their first names. All right. So now, have you ever joined a gangbang yet? I have not. You have not? I have not. Orgies is it.

So, next one. I already know who this is. Oh, God. Who is most likely to participate in a bukkake? Not it. That's-a me. Yeah. That's-a me, Mario. Definitely Tink. Yep. I'm all about that. Yeah, she's got a huge cum fetish. I totally do. Like, I would want it all over. Just not in my eyeballs, because that burns like a motherfucker. If it gets there, fine, but I ain't open in my eyes. Well, I mean, you're not going to have a choice. I'm not opening my eyes then. But yeah, everywhere, everywhere.

I want to see how much I actually can fit, to be honest. Like, I mean, I want to know. Yeah, I mean. I mean, how else can you be a complete cum dumpster, right? That is all you, boo. Yeah, see, you are the, like, I want like a bunch of loads in my holes. Yes, 100%. Not on me. No, no. So, like... I mean, to be fair, when it was on my face, I'm like, Help! Help! Help! You were! It was hilarious. To be fair, it was in my eye. Or almost. See, this is what I'm saying. The elbows closed. Yes.

That was a help me moment. And you were the perfect gentleman. For once. I'm kidding. Who is most likely to convert vanilla to the lifestyle? I'm saying you. It is you. See, I think it's you. Well, no, it's 50-50. Because I think it depends on if it's a male or female for Pedro. And I think for you, you literally could get everybody, which I know sounds very similar, but I feel like anybody for you, you could get to switch over. Where I think for Pedro, it would really be a specific person.

Fair. Like, I feel like if you built a good rapport with them. Yes. Right. Yeah, I mean, I would definitely have an easier time converting a woman to the lifestyle because with men, I'd be completely honest, especially if they were single. You know, like if they talk to me and be like, oh man, have you heard about swinging this and that? You're going to be like, dude. I was thinking about, you know. Lower the bar.

Yeah, because I'd be brutally honest. I'd be like, You're too ugly and your dick's too small. Good best friend. Don't even hurt your feelings. You know, like if that hurt your feelings, definitely don't fucking try it. You know? At least in that aspect, you'd be looking out for that person and making sure they don't sign up to get their feelings hurt. That's what it is. Because, I mean, as a single guy, like the competition is stupid.

Yeah, you'd rather go into it. Like if you're going to go into it like as a couple and the guy's like, hey, my wife and I, like I would. Okay. I would give them some pointers and stuff, but I would also be brutally honest with them, you know, especially like if I don't feel like they would have a great time. Right. You know, whether it's their personality or their looks or whatever. And that's not to be mean, you know, it's just real.

No, that's fair. I mean, if it was a good looking couple, like you would have no problem be like yours are going to be successful.

But if it was either lopsided or they weren't like you're going to be like lower your expectations because it's not going to be an easy ride right exactly i mean learn to stay in your lane you know don't get butt hurt because the really pretty people aren't talking to you right yeah like unfortunately the lifestyle is a popularity contest yes it is so i would just be honest with them in that all right so last one to wrap this up who is most likely to be found in a pile of women.

That's me again. Yes. Yes, it sure is. Yeah. I can't tell you how many times there has been a pile of women all around. Naked women. Naked women, yes. Whether it was we were all making out, whether it was we were all just being silly together and literally just literally stacked each other, which was pretty fun and pretty hot, or, you know, playing in a pool of oil with magic wands. So, I mean, there's more to that, too. Like, there's just so many over the years. But yeah, it'll be me.

I'll be in that pile somewhere. Yeah. Yes, I mean, it's, people always ask me, oh, isn't it hot to watch, you know, Tink and, you know, other women? Six other women? I'm like, absolutely fucking not. I am so sick of it. You're like, this bitch again. Yeah. Pretty much. Like, that's what it is. Like, if he sees me gone, he knows, like, fuck. She found another freaking group of girls. It would be one of those things where they'd be like, hey, Pedro, where's Tink? And he'd be like, over there.

Yes. I have literally done that. I'm sure. He has. He has. I'm like the room with all the chicks screaming and moaning and like the girls that you want to fuck. Yeah, she made sure to gather them all up. She was the ringleader. You're welcome. She usually was too. Does not surprise me one bit. I mean, she started that whole fucking like fucking pussy eating train at Paradise the one night that we were there. Like seven or eight chicks just lined up like this human centipede.

That bruise in my back from holding up all those girls with my back against the pole was well worth it. So dumb. It was so fucking hot, though. I mean, we had a whole show, and everybody was just hanging out in the pool watching. So, I mean, it was an awesome time. It's just so annoying that she's had more female play partners in the lifestyle than I have in life in general.

I know. I'm a whore. it's okay you can admit you can just say that I will accept it and I will admit it I mean it's one thing if they were guys like cause at least I'm not competing with you for that. You're taking away his I'm taking your women his literal pool of women yeah shit, Like, literally. I'm sorry. Like, in one pile. She's probably got, like, half of the women that I've ever played with, she's played with at one time. Wait until it's the both of us. I'm just going to turn gay.

Fuck y'all bitches. It's going to happen at one point. And he's not going to talk to us on the way home. He will not. Because he's just going to hand on the steering wheel, forward-facing, not talking to a single one of us, and we're going to know that he's mad. You know what? Not like, you know. No, it's not. It's literally not like it's going to be a shitty time. Like, it's literally just that. These fucking bitches had their faces buried in how many vaginas tonight.

Yep, and my pee-pee didn't touch a single one. And this is the mood we're going to have. Yep. That's going to be it. And then they're going to be like, but you can fuck us when we go home. And I'll be like, yeah, I'm going to fuck you with a baseball bat. I mean, no. Yeah, that's what's going to happen. Yeah, I mean, and I'm like, no. Yeah, that's what you all get. I mean, we've already decided that the one toy is as big as your fist, so I'm not mad about it. Oh, I didn't mean in your vagina.

That changed your tune? That's funny. You can easily fuck me with a baseball bat. We completely changed tunes there. Because you were like, and I went, oh. Yeah. Trust me. I'm going to make it worth it. So on that enlightening note, we hope that you enjoyed this episode and our, you know, honesty on everything, which thank you, Tiff, for being so open. Rollercoaster of emotions. Hey, it's important that, you know, we are honest with people. You know, everything isn't rainbows and sunshine.

Right. You know, but with every, you know, difficult situation that we face, we get stronger. So, I mean, I'm okay with having those conversations, you know, and helping you get to the point where you want to be. Because like I told you in the very beginning, like, that's what I want to do. I want to help you, you know, become that woman that you want to be. Yes. As a partner, you know, inside and outside of the lifestyle.

Yep. And you'll get there. I will. We both will. Someday. I mean, I'm not holding my breath for you, Tink. It's been going on 12 years, but... It's all right. I'm broken. It's okay. We all are in our own way. Well, thank you, everybody, for listening. And again, if you have anything that you'd like us to discuss, you know where the email is. It'll be coming up here in just one second. We'll see you next week.

You've been listening to Swing Theory. where we turn theory into action and stories into connection. Follow the show wherever you listen and slide into the DMs on all the socials with your stories or questions. Or drop your confessions at swingtheory2025 at gmail.com. Same trio, new stories. Next time on Swing Theory.