Bodies & Boundaries: A Raw Talk on Weight, Confidence and Swinging

Here you're here yeah here and queer very you are here and queer always lesbians i've got a big lesbian crush on you best card ever it is yeah i didn't get a fancy card no you got a fancy card for your birthday and christmas said it was singing to you in the mariah carey yeah but it It wasn't actually singing,

though. It just said it. Still, it was cute. It was written the way you text. You're right. 100%. That's what makes it special. It was so special. Your note was more special, though. It was. It was. I could have just done with a piece of paper. Had your note on it. Yeah. I know. I'm such an anti-holiday person. Pretty much. I'm sorry. I still feel good giving it to you. That's what matters, right? I feel good giving it to you, too.

We're talking about two very different things. Yes, yes, we are. All right. Are we ready to get this next show underway? Yes. Sure am. Ready? Mm-hmm. Everyone's gone potty, got drinks. All good. Food in our bellies. We are good to go. Okay, then. On that note, I'm going to play the thing. Okay, do the thing.

Welcome to Swing Theory, where pleasure meets perspective. Join Pedro, Tink, and Tiffany, your favorite trio of temptation, as they dive deep into the swinging lifestyle. From wild stories to honest talk about connection, communication, and community, they've seen it all and they're sharing what they've learned from over a decade of non-monogamous adventures so for a drink relax and get ready to explore your own theory of pleasure right here on swing theory and welcome back to another

episode i believe this one's number 14 that That would be correct. One, four. Okay. My name's Pedro. Hi, Pedro. I am joined by Tink and Tiffany. Oh, hey. Tiffany. To Fanny. To Fanny. To Fanny. If you had an I at the end. Well, let's not get crazy here. All right. So, week after that. Time Time's Day. Yeah, Hallmark Holiday.

The one you love oh so much. Yeah. It's fantastic. You sort of got what you asked for. In the chocolate form. I mean. You didn't specify on the note. I will say, I think we need to do a comparison to see if they look like ours. Oh, we could. They make the mold kits. They do. To make those chocolates. See, we want to clone a willy and you can mold our bow holes. Okay, but they also have, like, for the pocket pussy things that you can mold your vaginas to. Oh, well, see, there we go.

I'm not really sure how that works exactly. Like, is it a sleeve you shove up in there? Like, how are you going to mold your pussy? Or is it just your lips? Yeah, it's the outside. And then it like goes on to the like the sleeve part. I wonder. I mean, that's fair. But I feel like for you and the TISM, you'd have to be able to make sure that the inside feels similar as well.

I know, but I don't know if that's safe to do to you. No, I just mean like if there was like if you can pick the way that the inside. Oh, yeah. Is. That would be fantastic. Fantastic. Because everyone, like, they're all different. At some point. We're going to have to research that. Some nerd that's nerdier than me is going to figure out a way to 3D scan the inside of a vagina. That is accurate. You're probably right. And once they do, I will buy said scanner.

Well, see, this is why I'm thinking, like, it's some kind of a sleeve that you'd have to put in there. Kind of like you would have the dental dam, except it's going to go in. Like, you'd have to put it in there somehow. Like a shrink wrap. Kind of, yeah. Like, maybe you have to, like, put it inside the dildo. Like, the sleeve goes over top of the dildo. Put that inside and then just take the dildo out. Yeah, but it's stretching it out then, though.

But once you take the dildo out, you're going to contract again. Especially if you just, like, insert it real quick. Yeah, but it's not going to have the elasticity. It's just going to have an open hole where the dildo was. I don't know. It would have, like, you'd literally have to fill your vagina with the mold stuff. Mm-hmm. And somehow get it to harden, which I don't know how that would happen because you're wet.

But that's why I'm saying the sleeve, the plastic sleeve. Yeah, but then you're not going to get any of the detail. I don't know. I don't know how to get around that part. Yeah, we're not smart enough for that. Somebody's going to figure it out, though, if they haven't already. You're going to have to have a 3D scanner. And then they're going to have to 3D print silicone somehow. Hmm. Yeah. Or cut the silicone in that same fashion. But yeah, anyway.

These are our brains and how they work. This is episode 14. Mm-hmm. Bring it back. Redirect. Yeah.

Redirecting. I'm used to this. So, we said last week that there's going to be some real talk on this episode, specifically for you and I, Tiff. Yep. Because we feel like we're fatties. Yes. And. Do you make Chebberson? Like, I know there's going to be people out there. Oh, my God, you guys look great. You know. It's fine. And it's even so much like we do it to each other. Yeah. You know, like, I tell you all the time, like, I love the way you look. And same. You know, like, I like you fluffy.

You love my jiggles. I do. You know, and, and not going to lie. Like a lot of people have told me that knew me prior to gaining weight that, you know, I look better with more weight on me. That bad. And to an extent, I agree. Like I like being around 200 pounds. I just don't like the fluffiness that comes with it this time. Because the last time I was 200 was from working out. Like I was a muscle. You were a toned 200. Yeah. But you've also said, too, that you don't really enjoy working out.

So for you, like, you don't have that desire to go that direction again. No, but I don't want to be fluffy either. And that's my dilemma because, like, I don't feel comfortable naked. Which is a problem because we like to go to a lot of places where you should be naked at least as much as possible. And that's the thing. I love being naked, but I don't feel comfortable in my skin anymore. I think the last time I felt comfortable was when we went to Florida in November. I was still...

That was the start of me gaining more weight, getting to where I am now. But I didn't feel uncomfortable being naked when we were there. Yeah. So I tend to feel more uncomfortable when there's more, I guess, of your beach body people and gym rats around. Because then you kind of feel like you stand out more. Yeah. And especially having come from that world. Right. You know, I've looked like that before.

And now I don't and I'm like I feel gross you know yeah and mine is like I can tell that I'm starting to get back to where I was and like for me it's I just I don't want to get back there I don't want to be that heavy chubby girl anymore yeah and what it comes down to is the three of us want us to be happy in our own bodies right you know like everyone knows I prefer you know thick yeah he goes for the thick women and like that was one of the things that attracted me to you at first and

like i know that you were down in like your happy weight for what you were considering your happy weight at the time and but you were still thick yeah it was more of a slim thick that i was comfortable in yeah and what attracted me was the confidence that you had you know like don't get me wrong you were and are beautiful but that confidence and that smile and you know that's what did me in which is fair and i hate not being in that place.

Because it is like it's a big confidence killer but i totally get that i mean. Like when tink and i got together i was about 140 pounds i guess so, I was like 140. Just sounds so weird because I'm 145. So when you're like, I'm 140. Yeah, I was 140 when you met. I was like, you sure about that? You were like 105 when we got together. I indeed was. Yeah. So when you got pregnant, though, that's when I gained all your weight. And I now weigh as much as I did when I was pregnant.

Yeah. And I'm still 60 pounds almost heavier than I was when we met. Mm-hmm. You know, and, So Tiff and I were talking about what can we do about this? Because like we've tried eating healthier, you know, like I've in the past, I've exercised, I've eaten healthy, but I plateau at like 175. And mine's like 183 is like I haven't been able to get below 183. Yeah. And now granted, I'm also 42 years old now. You are 37. Yes. Age is definitely not on the side there for helping with the metabolism.

Right. And you are on some medications that are definitely not helping. Yeah. So I'm fixed, but I'm on the depo shot because my periods are horrible. So I tried the Mirena, but unfortunately I have a condition where I can't do the Mirena because it doesn't stay in place where it's supposed to. So it doesn't do what it's supposed to, and it was more painful than anything. So after that, I switched to the depo shot, which is notorious for gaining weight.

Now, I was on that for two and a half years, and I was maintaining the same weight I didn't gain. So then I started meds for anxiety, and I was fine. Then got diagnosed with the ADHD. Fine. but then they also then increased my dose of they increased my dose of my meds for my anxiety which killed my metabolism even more so that coupled with a depo shot and they increased that in i think it was september or october yeah i think it was like october yep so since then i've gained over 20 pounds.

Yeah, and it's been a big confidence killer for you. And I think because it's been so fast, too. Because I maintained within a 10-pound range for over six years. Right. And I know I'm getting older, 100%. So now it's the, because I've gained these 20-plus pounds so fast, losing it is going to be so much harder. Right. And same thing for me. And even, like, I knocked the meds down now, back to where they were. Right. And that's going to help.

Correct. But it's still not going to correct what's happened since I started. So, like you and I had talked a little bit prior to this week about, you know, potentially trying out one of the weight loss shots. And we both know several people that have done it or are doing it now. And I mean, the shit just works. Yeah, it's been a great success, right?

So I told you what Thursday or Friday it was Thursday we started talking about it like seriously talking about it and I'm like because I had told you I'm seriously considering doing it because I just can't get past that 175 no matter what I do yeah and it would be the same for me like regardless, before when I was in my comfort weight if I would try to lose weight I would just get stuck which then would put I'd fall off the wagon after that because I'm like what's the point,

And for me, yeah, I'm not as fluffy at 175, but if I were to start working out from there, I get big fast, but I'm still going to have that layer of fat on top of the muscle, so I'm just going to look big and fluffy then. And I don't want to do that. If I'm going to work out again, I want to start from a lean starting point. Right. And for me, that's about 150 pounds. So I need to lose damn near 50 pounds to get back to that before I can start working out to build the muscle again.

Yeah. And for me to get to what my expected weight range would be, I have to lose about 80 pounds. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I've always been fluffy. Like I've never been within that range of my life. And obviously I'm gonna have to find my sweet spot there but well and the thing too I mean, For you, like, you didn't have the best childhood. Like, you know, so there was a lot of stressors and trauma. There was, and my family is obese.

Like, you know, I didn't have the greatest... Role models in that department. Exactly, because my mom actually had gastric bypass surgery because she was always heavy growing up. Like, she was almost 400 pounds at one point. So, that was having that. My stepdad was very large. Like, I never had anybody to teach me how to have a good relationship with food.

Yeah. And like we've talked about, I think that's going to be the hardest thing for you is once you get past that 180 where you're normally happy is pushing yourself mentally to get down to where scientifically you should be. Yes. You know, because like you said, you've never been that. At least not in a healthy way. Like, you know, like you may have been in middle

school or, you know. I mean, even then, though, like I was always, I would say I was always probably 30 to 40 pounds above what I should be. So while I was still healthy, I've also, I've never been within that range. Right. So, I mean, technically to be where you're supposed to be right now, you were probably in like sixth, seventh grade. Mm-hmm. So that's going to be a mindfuck for you. Yep. Because you're going to look at yourself and be like, oh my God, I look sick.

Right. And that's going to be really hard because I don't want to. Think about it negatively. Right. I don't want to go from having the, oh my God, I look so terrible because I'm chubby to the, oh my God, I look so terrible because I need to eat a burger. Right. And that's going to be your struggle. Yes. Because you're going to look at yourself and be like, I need to eat.

But obviously like you said like you're going to find your sweet spot but i think mentally, you're going to have to even work with your therapist oh for sure you know and help you get to that point in your head where when you see yourself at you know 130 135 you're like okay like this is the the real me this is what's been under here all this time right and learning to love that then yeah you know like because you've spent your whole life loving yourself bigger or trying

to right love yourself as a bigger woman to then do the complete opposite of trying to love yourself as you know a quote-unquote normal right sized woman yes so it's going to be a challenge yeah it really is because like you said it's going to be the complete opposite so i have the medication coming in a couple days so soon going to start that journey yes you're starting first mm-hmm, I have to figure out how to afford it. Yeah, I mean, I got a great referral too.

So thank goodness for the PA swingers pages. Yeah, I mean. There's a women's group and I'd posted in there because after you and I talked, Pedro, it was then next steps was where do I go? What do I do? So I'd made an appointment with one of my doctors, like my actual doctor's office at first. But then it's like, okay, well, what hoops do I have to jump through? Because most insurances won't cover it unless it's for diabetes, which I don't have.

And there's some other underlying issues that you could potentially get approved for. But that's also going to be a very long process. Right, a bunch of tests, a bunch of co-pays. Right. So through the PA Women page, it was a conversation. There were so many of the women on there that were great with giving the information and just different things. Because again, there's a lot of people that either were on it, are on it, or are thinking about it.

So it's not uncommon so I was introduced to this PA weight loss and had a consultation with the doctor and you know spoke to him about things it was really great because he's very not necessarily hands-off but he he himself has been on it for about two years now and like he you know recommends how to do it but he also knows that people know their own body so like if you you know start out at a certain dose and bump up and you're still not seeing results, you can bump up again.

But if then it's too much, you can bump back down. Like he's not going to monitor that. So it was a really great conversation. He says that there's also other benefits that come along with it. Like there's no studies around it, but he's noticed that a lot of his patients have had success with any inflammatory diseases that they might have, which they were contributing to just the weight loss in general. But it seems to be more than that.

Yeah, I mean, like I know for me, once I do get to start on it, like, aside, excuse me, aside from the weight loss, like, I'm wondering if it will help with some of my symptoms from the blood cancer. It's possible. You know, and like, obviously, I know being thinner will help alone, just because my cardiovascular system won't be working as hard.

Right but you know like some of the other inflammatory issues that come along with having too much blood like I'm hoping that that will help yeah, And looking at where I was when Tink and I met, like, my mind fuck is going to come from, I've been close to 200 pounds or 200 pounds for the last almost 10 years now. So mentally, it's going to be hard to go back to that, like, small guy. Like, I know I'm not a big guy now, but, like, I'm 200 pounds,

you know. So if I get into a scuffle with someone else that's 200 pounds or 250 pounds, they're going to have a challenge. Me at 155 pounds, it all comes down to skill at that point. Yeah, you don't want to be that scrappy scrawny. Yeah, like I did that my whole life. You know, I like being in a position where, you know. People look at you and know you mean business. Yeah. And I know once I start working out, like it's going to be years before I get

back to being as big as I used to be muscle wise. Yeah, at least two years at a minimum. So mentally, that's going to be tough for me. I'm sure it is. Because again, you're going to see yourself in a whole different way. Yeah. Like I'm going to go back to, you know, being 17, 18 years old at 125 pounds, you know, even though I'll be 150 ish. Right. I'm going to feel like that scrawny kid that, you know, went into the army at 122 pounds. Right.

So, and then being as scrappy as I am, you know, even though I've cut back a lot on that in my older age, like, I'm still the first person to jump in somebody's face if they get stupid. You're going to pick that fight. So now I'm going to have to think... A little bit longer on doing that. Like weigh your options. Is that a good idea or not? Yeah. Like now I actually have to be like, okay, well, do they actually know how to fight?

Or, you know, because again, it's going to come down to my skill versus their size. Yeah, exactly. Because again, just like in wrestling, size matters. Yeah, it does. I mean. It's a lot easier to throw around a lot more weight and, you know, be over top of an opponent or somebody that you're fighting against versus somebody who weighs more than you and you're not in the same category anymore. Yeah. I mean, even me right now at 200 pounds, I can pick up 155 pound person and just toss them. Right.

You know, and I know other guys that are 200 plus pounds can do the same. And if somebody gets ahold of me, like there's nothing I can do, So, you know, momentum is momentum at that point. So, like, that's going to be tough for me. And I think seeing myself in the mirror is going to amplify my body dysmorphia. Probably. You know, because I'm going to feel scrawny. Even though I'm really strong, you know, like... Right, but it's very hard for your...

Brain to connect the two yeah i mean so until i start seeing that size again i'm always gonna feel like a little twig body dysmorphia is definitely a thing that's more than likely going to happen yeah you know and like how do you like with us talking about this like how do you feel about you know us doing this and like what are your thoughts on that i mean i want you both to be comfortable in your own skin and if you're not happy you need to do what you

think is going to work best for both of your paths so I support you both on that I mean now individually you know like obviously you are attracted to both of us the way we are we wouldn't all be together correct but I mean do you feel like there's any thoughts of well I'm looking forward to seeing one or the other or both at like a certain weight or a certain body type.

I think I want to just see like where you guys fall on your goal of like you know tiff with what weight you're wanting to be at Pedro with where you want to be at and like how you carry yourselves and like the confidence that you have noticed that's kind of dwindled a little that you're, potentially going to get fully back like I want to see that and for you Pedro like i want to see like how bad maybe your your body dysmorphia gets or if it doesn't even play a part that's fair i mean i'm sure

it will affect me i just don't know how much i will show it right yeah which is valid you hide a lot of that stuff so like i'm not sure how much of that you'll see like and like i know for me even though like as i've said i love my thick girls like i'm actually really looking forward to seeing tiff down at her quote-unquote goal weight. And especially with exercise and stuff to keep everything tone like i want to see the confidence that you have when you stand side by side with Tink and you

feel like you're on the same playing field. Fair. Yeah, because I know that that's definitely been something that has...

Affected you negatively yeah i mean because we're nowhere near on the same playing field, like and what's hard is that like you're not wrong but we're also built completely different we are wholeheartedly which makes that even harder because it's comparing apples and oranges it is and it's not for me it's not necessarily the the body type or the weight like it it is truly, and we've talked about this before i don't know that we've talked about it on

the show yet but But for me, I think what was really hard for me to see is because I had the first lifestyle experience of being used to get to you. And I think for me, that was what took the turn for the worse for me because I've never had that before. And Pedro, I know you've talked about it plenty of times. So for me to experience that firsthand and I have like I know I'm not ugly. I know I'm a pretty girl.

You're a gorgeous person. baby but i'm a chubby pretty girl and there's a big difference on the way chubby pretty girls are perceived in the lifestyle right because not everybody's like me right like i would take the chubby pretty girl over the tanks right right any day so having that like as a unicorn before, it's either you liked me or you didn't and i didn't give a shit either way but now that you have people that are trying to navigate wanting to play with one and not the other and it

being so obvious was very hard it is it's a total mind fuck you know like and that's why men in the lifestyle get such a bad rap because we complain about it but most of the women who talk shit about us guys that complain about this have never had it happen to them right you know and they don't realize that it is soul crushing mm-hmm. Like, to know that you're just a piece of the puzzle. I can handle people being like, you know what, I'm interested in tank and not you.

Great. Thank you for letting me know. Right. But don't use me or try and fluff it up. I'm interested in you both just to get to one. Right. Yeah, and that's what I've dealt with our entire swing career. Mm-hmm, yep. You know, but that's why, like, I want you to finally feel confident enough to stand side by side and say, we are both bad bitches.

Yeah, and again, I think before that, it didn't really hit me as much because it was like, again, you know, you're people's cup of tea, I'm people's cup of tea. Right. And it's not, it's never been, I've never been comparing you and I apples to oranges, but then to have someone else do that for us. It's a lot different. Yeah. Yeah. And that's where my mentality is like, because I think, you know, you're gorgeous.

Like, obviously it started from a dick rating game and basically we just wanted to fuck each other.

And now here we are over a year later so i mean for me it's never been about like your physical right i mean like i was attracted obviously right but you know i would never, do what some of these people do and say i'm into somebody just to get to somebody else yeah just to get to their partner whatever like i know i have no desire in that whatsoever like it's and And that's, you know, how we've all sort of went about it.

You know, there are, you have your people that you're like, well, I'm not completely unattracted to them. I want to get to know them a little bit more. And that changes everything. You can have that. But there's never been a time that I have considered taking one for the team or, you know, just trying to flirt with the wife because I wanted to fuck the husband. Like, it's a package deal. Right. Right. Yeah. And I think just seeing you go through this is going to...

Be good for all of us like you know because you're gonna have your ups and downs with it oh yeah which will bring us all closer hopefully you know as we help support you through that and then the end game you know when you're a year two years into this and you know you're walking around feeling the way, you know, Tink does, that's going to be an amazing transformation. Yeah, absolutely. Like, not just the physical, but the mental, you know.

And I know it'll also help your relationship between you and Tink. Yeah, because if I'm in a better mental spot, just overall, it's going to be helpful.

Right, because there won't be any of that negative comparing, you know or that ugly voice in the back of your head going well they don't want me they just want her right yeah you know and as your partners or your partner for the two of you you know that makes me feel bad that either of you would think that way you know and like i know there's been times where even tink was like well you know they're really into tiff because they must like thick girls. You know, and she spent the last.

10 years trying to become thick you know because a i like thick girls yep and b she's noticed a lot of the men like thick girls right yeah i mean like i didn't have an ass and that was like my biggest thing was i need to have i also don't have the thighs either like i hate that the only way that my thighs look the way that i want them to is if i'm sitting down i hate standing don't like looking at them. Fair. Yeah. And see, like, I've never been, like, when it comes to relationships,

I've never been a body type or part person. Right. I'm 100% like, is your face attractive? Is your personality attractive? I'm good. You know, like, that's just me in a relationship. So when it comes to swinging, that's where I can actually kind of have a wish list, I guess. Absolutely. You know, and that's where I can, you know, seek out the thicker girls. Because my whole life I've been attracted to them, but none of them would ever give me the time of day. Right.

You know, and I know that's kind of affected Tink negatively because she feels like she has to be that. And I've reminded her a million times, like... That's not why, like, I stay with you. Like, you getting thicker is not why I'm still attracted to you. Right. And I tell her all the time, I miss her tiny, perfect little butt. It's not there anymore. That you could fit in the palm of one hand. Don't get me wrong. Everyone knows I'm an ass guy. Love big asses.

But her perfect little bubble butt was the hottest thing ever to me.

You know and that's like i've tried telling her that for 10 years but yes but our brains suck, you know it's never enough like i can't tell her enough how pretty she is or you know how amazing her body is you know and now from her trying to get thicker now she's got the muffin top and the belly and the hips that are too fluffy and so now the jeans look really bad so now she doesn't like that yeah so i went from like one evil to the next right before she was quote unquote too skinny now she's

too fluffy you know and that's where like i know she's a gym girl but yeah sort of not really when you're on you're on yeah which lately it's not been on but i mean life gets in the way yeah you know like you have a big girl job now you have a lot of responsibilities with the kids and yeah blended family like so I don't really have time for myself to be you know taking those two hours girl I feel you I don't have that time yeah I mean.

Like I would be totally on board with if you wanted to do the shot too, just to get rid of that fluff that you've accumulated and get back to, you know, that 115, 120 weight because you acted so much different when you were that skinny. When I also feel like if you would do that, plus do your workout routine, you would keep the things that you like about yourself.

And that's one thing that I worry with the changing of or doing anything like that is because, you know, like I worked so hard to have the bigger thighs, have the ass that I wanted. I don't want to lose that. I don't think you would. And especially because, again, the way that, you know, it works is you can adjust what you're putting into your body at any point. Yeah, and you wouldn't need much. Yeah, and you probably wouldn't even have to go long term.

Right, just like a couple months. Yeah, do a couple months, get to the weight that you wanted to be, along with your clean eating and going to the gym. And as long as you keep that consistent afterwards, you'd be golden. And that could be something to keep in mind to try to do. I do want to go the old school way and work out it, eat right, cut out my sugar. Since we've learned potentially sugar is killing me.

And my body is just not responding the way it used to. So now I think I need to really actually like stick to it, but go harder at it. Not just the two to three days a week. Like, this needs to be something where maybe on the weekends are my light active days, but every day I'm going to need to work. Well, and again, I know we say this about everything nowadays, but I feel like once we move in together, we're also going to have more time to do those things.

Yeah. Because it's going to be different. Like, if person's working, you don't have to, if he works late, you don't have to rely on someone else to watch. Right. If, you know, we can change our schedules to go to the gym at different times, so that way someone's always home with the kids or, and the fact that we're coming home to each other every day, so then we don't have to worry about, you know, taking time away from our weekends together or taking time away from our evenings together.

You know, if we have the time in the morning where, you know. Someone's work schedule allows them to drop the kids off at the bus, well, that's the time that someone else can be in the gym, whatever they need to. It's going to be a lot easier for us to stay consistent. Yeah. Yeah. And too, I mean, I'll be able to probably take the older boys to the gym. Right. Exactly. And teach them the right way to do things. Have somebody to work out with.

And the three of us teaching them how to have that healthy relationship with food and all of that stuff. Like, those are the things that are going to make a difference because this is going to have to be a complete lifestyle change for us as well. Yeah, for sure. You know, and just to... Put one more thought in this for Tank. You were also on the depo shot, and that's the weight that you have not been able to lose.

You are probably correct on that because... And that's where the normal way of doing it isn't going to do it because that's that visceral fat. Like that's the stuff that exercise doesn't get. I mean, it would be the whole... I mean, when I gained that weight, it was 25 pounds that was right to my midsection.

And it is still pretty much there like I can go back to pictures from like the span of five years because I started the depo about a year or close to a year of living in Alabama and I was on the depo for almost a year but you can see my progression by six months in with the depo shot I was fluffy. And like, I can't, I want to say it was like a full fluffy. I want to say full because like the skin looked full. Right. Where now it's like a loose fat is what I have now.

It doesn't like, I don't know. It's not solid looking as what it was when I was on Depo. It's the only thing I can say is the difference from not being on it from this amount of time. It's been years of not the best eating and, you know.

So it turned into that visceral fat that you need help to get rid of and that's where you know possibly doing the shot for a couple months will help get rid of that because your biggest thing is you hate your belly i do and i mean if i can't see my own fluff i think i have too much of a belly yeah i love your belly i know i mean and that's the thing too like i love how you two love my belly and I'm like, God, this fucking thing sucks. You see how I react when he jiggles my thighs.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the same thing. You're just like, don't do that. I'm like, ew. And he's like, no, no. I love it on both of you, but I've seen your confidence go downhill, even as I feel you've been getting hotter. That's crazy. No, I mean, it's all how we feel in our own skin, though.

So it's not necessarily crazy. It's crazy the fact that we put so much emotional weight on ourselves when we don't see ourselves the way that we want to right you know like our clothes fit differently and honestly like for me through all of this it's not the number on the scale because i could completely care about care i couldn't care less could care less you could not care less what the number on the scale is for me it's that confidence level and the feeling comfortable in my own body and

that's where since i started getting that weight so fast, third no like and it's the same thing for her like she was always the first one naked. And now I'm like, how long can I go before I'm actually naked? You know. Usually it actually requires a lot of drinks. And then I'm like, I don't give a fuck now. Yeah, well, see, and that's the thing. I mean, you may not have felt like mentally that you were sexy when you were skinny. Yeah, no, not either.

But you carried yourself like you thought that way. Where now, in my eyes, you know, you're super sexy because you're thicker and, you know, you got the little mom belly. But you carry yourself like you're 300 pounds. Always covering up, you know, never wanting to be in an environment that, you know, you would have to show off. You know, you hardly ever, you know, do your TikToks and stuff anymore. Like, you just, you don't have that confidence that you had when you were 115, 120 pounds.

Yeah, you're right. And it's crazy to me because this is where you said you wanted to be. Yeah. But now you're like, yeah, not so much. And again, I think it's because of the way that your body carries it. It's, you know, you probably had a visual of exactly what you were going to look like. She thought it was going to go straight to her ass and legs like she's Brazilian or something. Right. And unfortunately, your body does, it goes where it goes. It does white people

shit. It goes right to your belly. Yep. And that's where it's hard for you because you don't, you didn't come out of it exactly how you expected. And that's fair because again, like I deal with that on a daily. We both do. You know, there's both a lot of things that we hate because mine is my face for sure. Like, that's my biggest. I hate how chubby my face gets. Same. You just cover yours with a beard. Yeah, I do. I mean, it's one of the perks

of being a guy. I don't think you would want me with a full beard. No. You're supposed to say yes. I would love to have you any way you choose to be. Real talk. No. That's fair.

I don't want to be the bearded lady. but yeah i mean like i would much rather see you skinny you know with the flat tummy and the little ass and the little legs and feeling confident or at least acting i was gonna say maybe not necessarily she's probably at that point still had the voice in her head however you were confident enough to at least not cover up right you were acting confident Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I miss that.

You know, because I would take that over whatever my ideal look for you is any day. Yeah, because again, it goes back to, you know, if the three of us are feeling that confidence and in the way that we look, we're going to have a better time overall. We're going to feel better about ourselves. We're just going to be in a more positive mindset whenever we go out places. We're not going to have those negative thoughts. Just if other things happen,

it is what it is. but at least we know going into it, we don't have to worry about the way that we look. Right. Exactly. So, I mean, that's mine and Tiff's plan is we're going to start the shot and then I'll probably get you a vial. Because I know where to get it from. And you'll be fine. It won't be expensive for you because you're not going to need a bunch. No, you could go with the lowest dose. And it would do its job for a couple

months and then I won't need it anymore. Yeah, because it's not like you have to lose 40, 50 pounds. You only need to lose like 20 pounds. Yeah. Maybe 25. But it's all in your belly. I mean, and your tits. I don't want to lose my tits. They're going to go down some, babe. Sorry. Yeah. The fakes, it's still going to be there. Yeah. They're just not going to be as fluffy. Yeah. That's one thing that's nice, though, is they look so nice in a bra.

Yeah. Can't pick and choose. I know, it's hard. I really want to. I want to pick and choose the shit, which is why I'm like, I'll just keep dealing with what I have. Right, but that's your problem. Like, you want your cake and eat it, too, but you can't. Like, you either feel confident, skinny, or you wish you were thicker and, or I'm sorry, you wish you were confident and you're thick where you want to be, but you're not happy. Right. Like, you got to pick one and just ride it, you know. Yep.

And that's just where we build on that unhealthy relationship we have to make sure that we do love ourselves regardless. And easier said than done. Yeah. Yeah, and I mean, for you, though, with your body type, if you were to actually stick to going to the gym, you can build muscle to get thicker. Right. It's going to take time. Yeah, and it'll look a little bit different than what it looks like right now. Yeah, I mean, it's not going to look super soft. Right.

You know, like the fluffy most does. Yeah, you might be a little bit more muscly instead of the softness that you have now, but. It'll give you the size that you're looking for. Right. And honestly, like with your legs and stuff, when you're more relaxed, it's not going to be that muscly. Right. Because it's only going to be muscly when you're just actually actively doing something. Yeah. So... That was a long conversation. It was. But I mean, it's an important one.

It's something I think a lot of people can resonate with. Absolutely. I agree. And like the shots are expensive. So like I understand people wanting to do it. They can't afford it. But, you know, do what you can to make yourself happy. Even if it is just starting a diet plan, you know, walking. An exercise plan. Yeah. Like even if it's just walking, you know, walk every day. Yep.

Drink water. like you gotta start somewhere you gotta slow changes that end up being big things yeah because, what matters is how you feel about yourself agreed doesn't matter what anyone else sees or thinks it's how you see yourself, so that's my positive message for the day.

I'm done with that sappy shit okay so we're gonna close the show out with a topic that I thought would be interesting okay where do you feel most comfortable being a swinger or a part of the enm community like where where is that physically for you two i think for me where i feel the most comfortable and possibly even confident sometimes is outside of like places where i feel like there's other people that are either swingers or A&M. So I'm guilty of this.

And this happens in, for me, like the workplace, because I'm close to those people that I don't necessarily test those waters, but I'm just more open to conversation. And more flirty. I can be more flirty, but it has to be like, yes, on my terms, but like the, I have to be like comfortable. And I know I've said this many times. And I think it's that like comfortable of like, do I trust that person? Enough to start diving into who I am and what I do that they don't know about.

And that's the comfortable part that once I feel like I can do that, I start like a little bit here, a little like breadcrumbs. And that's where I think I am comfortable when it comes to being. I would have to agree with that because over the years, like we've been swingers for 10 going on 11 years. And honestly I've seen you more in that mindset when it comes to like.

Where you've worked yeah you know like you'll come home and be like oh you know talk to so-and-so today and they were kind of flirty and i was flirting back and you know but like you don't do that or you don't talk about it when it comes to actual swing events yeah you're very much just well i'll see how i feel when i get there you know like there's very little build-up going into an event or a party you know like and lately tiff and

i have had to be like is there anyone you're interested in like drawing it out of you yeah but yet you know like even at your job now i mean like obviously one of the guys we know in the lifestyle works with you yep and you know one of your fellow employees is almost like your work husband like you talk to him more than you talk to me, I think. Some days, some days. Yeah. Depends on his mood.

You know, and like, I know you say like, oh, I would never be interested in him, but like, I don't fully believe that. Like, I feel like if, you know, the universe aligned perfectly and you knew you could get away with it without getting in trouble at work, you would definitely do something. I think that falls into that, that, okay, this is how I am. And, you know, I'm E&M, but I don't know if anybody else is E&M. And it makes it fun because it's the...

Not, it's not taboo, but it's that, what if something occurred? And it's like, oh, I brought them into this world. Like, oops, my bad. Not really. You know, like it's fun. Yeah. And like, that's the thing. Like you enjoy the fun part of that. It's the chase and the, like the, ooh, you know, I might get in trouble type thing.

But that's where, like you may say, and this is 100% you and everything like you say one thing but I do the opposite but you do the opposite yeah so like you've told me like with this guy like oh I'm not even attracted to him blah blah blah but yet like you flirt with him all the time whether you realize it or not like it's just the way you talk the way you text like you know like I can tell I've been with you for 12 years and i

know for a fact like if specifically this guy were to say like hey meet me in this parking lot on the way home from work that you would seriously consider it wow. Because you knew at that point you would know like if you trusted him not to say anything you knew outside of work you couldn't get in trouble I see where you're going with that, You know, because like, yeah, they may be able to track his vehicle,

but they're just going to see it in a parking lot. They don't have a tracker on your vehicle. True. So, you know, so whether he was married, E&M, swinger or not, in your brain, you would be like, I may do that. It totally feels like it comes down to the, would you play with a coworker episode that we did? Yeah. But I mean, but that's the thing, because even in the swing lifestyle, you have to get close to somebody. Right. You know, which we've been trying to break you of that. I know.

It's a really bad habit. But the work. It's not a bad thing. But the workplace allows you to do that, just like with the guy from Alabama. Yeah. You saw him every week. Yeah. Once a week. You know, you would flirt in the cooler. Mm-hmm. You know, and then the next thing you know, you're like, I think I might want to try and date him, even though he's married.

My bad decisions and this is where i'm like yeah i see where you're going with this but i'm also like yeah no learn from the last time bad decision making not gonna make another bad decision right but but in this scenario i'm just talking about fucking like if the stars would align right and there's there's no other things there would be no consequences yeah right like i could totally see that happening even though you will sit here and swear up and down you're not even attracted to him and this

and that not your type blah blah might be the thrill of it at that point but yeah she tells me he's just like me like as far as personality goes so that tells me that there is definitely an attraction at some level god why do you always have to be right yeah so like, it is it's that similarity. So, I mean, but I agree that that is your happy place to be E&M, whether it's swing or just like being open or whatever. Which is weird, though, because it's not technically a place where you would.

Right. It's not. It's not a place where that belongs. And I'm like, fuck it. I'm doing it anyway. Like, that's not right. Okay. But I could see the same thing happening, say, like at the gym. If you went to the gym four or five days a week you had your you know little gym crush there.

And he was like hey let's go fuck in my car you'd be like okay okay sold i could totally i could totally see you doing that i'm a hoe okay that's why we're in the lifestyle right yeah so how about you tiff what's your my bread and butter is at events like because there's a time and a place like I'm there for that I'm also very oblivious to when people are flirting with me so in the vanilla world I would never pick up on that at an event that is dedicated for swingers,

that's the goal right yeah and I mean like I kind of figured that would be your your answer to this you know because like we've been out and about together you know many times now in the past year and like i haven't really seen you even look at anybody in a way that would be like oh he's cute or she's cute you know what i mean like you're very like tunnel vision on whatever the task is you know so like i can see the events

and parties and stuff being well and online too like correct yes you know in the groups and all that like you're very much focused on whatever the swinger environment is, that's where you leave it. Yep. You know? I don't, and especially, like, even relationship-wise with the three of us. Now, I've been a lot more open over the last year with us being together. Like, we've gone to kids' sporting events together and different things like that.

But even relationship-wise, like, it's not easy telling the world, like, oh, hey, this is my boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. No, for sure. It puts you in that spotlight. Right. So even with that piece of it, like, we can also be more of our thruple selves in those environments.

I agree with that and like for me i mean i've said it a thousand times now i have much better luck in anywhere outside of what's supposed to be swinger and enf that's where i feel like me and you are somewhat similar like for you you don't find it on purpose right but but the difference is you could have whatever you want wherever you want that's just because i have a pussy Well, yeah, I mean, but for me, I don't get the attention in the environments that I should

get the attention in. Right, it's backwards. So, like, hell, even the one when we came home from Florida, we dropped off the rental car, went to the vape shop. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And had the cutest thing.

Girl she's probably like 22 23 hitting on me and she worked at the vape shop again not anywhere where you would find somebody yeah like i probably could have gave her my number and started texting her that day probably but that's what happens to me all the time like anywhere i'm not supposed to meet somebody is where i will meet them you know and for me i enjoy that much more because it's out in the wild yeah because it's not just some random wife going he'll do you know so my

question is is have you found that with the people that are quote-unquote in the wild they actually give you more of that flirting back and forth that the people in the lifestyle should be doing don't do for sure i mean i can show you my snapchat right now there's like five vanilla women that flirt way harder than any lifestyle chick that's on my snapchat which to me is crazy because that's literally the whole point of being in the lifestyle like if you found a guy attractive.

Make it known flirt with him tell him like what you're looking forward to or that you're looking you know you can't wait to meet them or get to play again or whatever it is although hold on let me correct that there's one swinger that has stepped up to the plate in that department but that's it you know and i have probably 40 swinger women on my snapchat wow that supposedly were interested in me i believe that.

But then there's five vanilla chicks that know that I'm E&M, but are like, yeah, I would hit that with a frying pan. So I feel more comfortable outside of swinger events and E&M events. That's fair. And it's also less pressure, too. Right. Because in those circumstances, I'm not trying to get laid. Right. So you can just flirt and it be an innocent flirt. Yeah, and no strings attached with it.

Yeah, and that's where, too, in a perfect world, if somebody was like, hey, meet me here, we're going to fuck, I'd be like, okay. Give me time. But in the swing lifestyle, it's like... Everything takes forever to set up. Yeah. It does. You know, and it's like the stars have to align for me to fuck a swear. But I could literally just make one text and fuck a vanilla chick. Mm-hmm. It's very ass backwards. Mm-hmm. It is.

Now, if I had the ability like Tink or you to get that attention in the swing lifestyle, the vanilla world probably wouldn't be as... Noticeable?

As enjoyable for me, I guess. Ah. like i would probably leave those women alone valid but when that's your only source of you know like interaction yeah the back and forth yeah so i feel like that's where it's where i'm kind of on that weird side because like me being not so heavily into like chasing after people in the lifestyle and just kind of flirting with the ones that i meet every day I don't know if it's because that, like,

I know that I shouldn't, but I'm like, yeah, I want to do it anyway. That that, like, fuels that side of my brain. I feel like, as a human, that is always something that is going to be intriguing to anybody. Has to be. And I still want to do our experiment on Tinder.

What was the experiment? oh where he was with his profile where i'm just single single ah yeah okay and i want to do it for this area out here yeah because i want to see the response that i get versus all the other times i've tried on all the different apps yeah where they know you're attached and they're like Yeah. Cause I want to see if it's actually like if it's me or if it's the state of the lifestyle. Oh, I wholeheartedly believe it's the lifestyle. I agree.

So I think I'm going to have you make my profile and put it on your phone. And then you can just go through it and be like, oh, yeah, this is fine. We're going to swipe left. I don't know how it works, but we're just going to go with that. Yeah, because I'm really interested just to see. Oh, you're going to have a lot of thirsty bitches. Guarantee it. What that difference is between lifestyle and vanilla world. I think I would be most intrigued to see how they converse.

Like what is their first message you know is it like hey handsome or is it be like give me that dick yeah that's that's what i want to know i want to see like how raunchy it gets me too because i mean like honestly the the vanilla women that i do talk to i mean it's not always sexual by any means but like when it is like they let you know exactly what they want yep where lifestyle women are like i can't wait to play yeah it's like they're very very vague about it yeah vague

and reserved and like vanilla chicks are like i cannot wait till i get a chance to suck your cock and it's so far down my throat it's tickling my asshole like yeah, like they don't mix words yeah they're very articulate about what they want Where lifestyle women are just like, I can't wait to play with you. Let's see where it goes. Go with the flow. Oh, yeah. Let's go with the flow. That's all the time saying. Where, like, the vanilla chicks are like... No, do this. Exactly.

Yeah. Like, I want you to fuck my pussy for 45 minutes and then come in my ass. Like, they are very... They know what they want. It's because in the vanilla world, there's not many men that know how to do it. Right. So they're going to be very upfront and not waste their time. Yeah, because if you can't fulfill it, they're going to move on to the next one. Yeah. Well, and for some reason, I must give off that, like, big D energy to vanilla women.

Where maybe in the lifestyle women are so bombarded that they can't tell what's real from not i would wholeheartedly agree with that because you have a lot of guys that have that fake bd big d energy yeah and it's such a letdown right so like they just kind of treat everybody the same the same where the women the vanilla women who are attracted to me like their radar goes off and they're just like he knows some shit yeah like when can we make this happen so we're definitely

gonna have to do that experiment i think that'll be a good podcast topic oh yeah first off again like we said before that we would like to look at profiles yes so that would be a great one for profiles yes we should have a our profile shit we could do a segment every week on that we could, the thirsty bitch segment yes and just reading the messages and how either off the wall they are or how fucking boring they are yes because we're gonna have a mix of the two i think that's a great i think

we need to do that yeah look at you over here with the big ideas hey with the big d energy i mean the only thing that i'm worried about is if there is any good ones that's, And we can't make something happen because then they're going to go away. So then when I do move out here, they're not going to give me the time of day. That's fair. We just have to be strategic about when we start doing it. Yeah. I know. But now, like, my tism is like, we need to do this. Like,

no. Because if we don't, then we're going to forget about it. You're right. 100%. Well, it's not that we won't, like, we won't forget about it. It'll just go to the back burner. Well, yeah, that's what I mean. Like, it's not right now in the forefront of, we need to do that right now because that's a really great idea and we can use that in like the next week or two because we should have some ammo by then.

Yeah. We'll figure it out. Yeah, because you and I have talked about this months ago and just how things have gone lifestyle-wise and vanilla-wise. Like, it really has me like amped up to see what the true difference is. Because I've put myself out there plenty of times on the swing pages with little to no results. Yes. So now we can see what it is vanilla-wise. Yeah, I agree. It would be a good comparison. It will be.

All right, well, that's going to wrap up episode 14 as we sit here and ponder Pedro's existence. In the vanilla versus swing. Yeah, in the vanilla versus swing world.

Is he going to be Captain America or The Flash? one's gone lickety split, And the other one is banging your mom. Facts. Being a hero. I would say not all heroes wear a cape, but Captain America does. Yep. All right. Thank you, everybody, for listening. And be sure to check out the group on Facebook. Just search Swing Theory. And if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or stories, be sure to shoot us a message or an email. That email, as always, will be

in the outro. So make sure that you want to talk to us, you get with us. Have a great week, everybody. Bye-bye. You've been listening to Swing Theory, where we turn theory into action and stories into connection. Follow the show wherever you listen and slide into the DMs on all the socials with your stories or questions, or drop your confessions at swingtheory2025 at gmail.com. Same trio, new stories. Next time on Swing Theory.