How do we know when it is our wounding or them overstepping boundaries? Listener question

I wonder if I could ask a question about triggers, and if I trigger is always a trigger. What I mean by that is when you feel unheard by someone else, or not free to say how you feel, is that always your wounding that is being triggered? How do we know when it is our wounding or them overstepping our boundaries and doing/saying things that are not ok? 

How do we know the difference and how do we know how to navigate a situation like that? 

I realise I am asking a lot of how’s, and I feel like the response will be that actions will be taken one way or the other, and I agree with that to some extent, but I also feel like sometimes that can be a way of avoiding doing what needs to be done or facing what needs to be faced.

Thoughts?