Harness Success: Master Emotional Control, Visualization, and Inner Growth for Limitless Results w/ Ray Higdon

the body has tamed the master but you're the master of your body and emotions are the language of the body and so for you to have emotional mastery is literally for you to take the reins and for you to say, Hey, I'm in charge here, not my past programming, not the things that I've been through, not the negative things I'm verifying, you know, that I believe to be true, but I want a different outcome and you are not going to get a different outcome if you don't take control of your emotions.

This is the end of the video. If you did, please like and subscribe. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Welcome to Super Entrepreneurs Podcast. I'm your host, Shahid Durrani. Today we have with us Ray Higdon. Ray, as a Top keynote speaker has shared the stage with esteemed thought leaders including Tony Robbins, Rachel Hollis, Les Brown, Brendan Burchard, Robert Kiyosaki, Bob Proctor, Gary Vaynerchuk, Grant Cardone, Magic Johnson and many more. And today he's joining us on super entrepreneurs podcast.

So thank you so much for coming on our show. My friend. Thanks for having me. Oh, it's my pleasure. That's sharing a stage with some big names. Yeah, grateful. I've learned learned from a whole bunch of them. That's awesome. So, can you speak about that journey?

From a person that was a workaholic, not fulfilled, to someone that's living a joyful life and sharing a stage with such leaders? Well, I mean, there's a, there's a couple things to that. You know, for most of my life, I was You know, setting, setting goals and and hoping that, hey, this will make me feel better about myself. And, you know, I got to, you know, the end of 2019 and 2019, you know, I had, you know, through the, through the years had generated over 30 million online.

You know, shared the stage with all those different rock stars and, and many more had an ink 5, 000 company bestselling multiple bestselling books, but I still didn't feel worthy. I don't know. I still didn't, I still didn't feel fulfilled. I didn't feel, I felt like something was missing. And I remember, you know, just I, I started down a different path. I started, you know, going different. So up to then I had always been, you know, skill acquisition, right?

Let me learn how to sell from stage. Let me learn how to build a business. Let me learn funnels. Let me learn this. Let me learn that. And so I went from skill acquisition solely because I still attempt to acquire new skills, but I went from skill acquisition solely to looking within me. And asking like, okay, I've tried going in this way, but there's something still missing. So let me go this way. And so I went into a, just a very different period of my life starting in 2020.

You know, right when COVID, you know, was happening and and so I tried a lot of things. I tried different therapy hypnosis all kinds of different things. I did two years of one to three hours a day of meditation. So I tamed the body, tamed the mind, and all of that was very helpful. But it It wasn't, it wasn't the answer. There was still something missing. I still had trust issues. I had a betrayal issues.

I had some social anxiety and just different things that I just couldn't shake no matter what.

And and then 11 months ago, I you know, and I, I don't know how much of this story you're, you're, you're wanting her or not, but but 11 months ago, I came to Christ. And that filled some things in me that I would just wasn't able to fill on my own. And since then I have been on purpose. I've felt just completely different renewed, and different.

And and so now, Instead of getting my significant status, identity, safety, security, and all those things from money and status and, and, you know, that kind of thing, I get, I get, I receive those from God, and so I don't, you know, I, I just now see that, you know, God is the source. Money is a resource, right? So it's okay to have it. Just don't let it have you.

And I found that most entrepreneurs whether they're at a million a year, 10 million or 100 million, and I've sat with all of them, you know, this past Friday, I was in the home of a billionaire and most people most entrepreneurs, there is not enough money. And I know, you know, like the person that I sit with that has, that's making a hundred million dollars a year. The only thing they can focus on is who's making more than them.

And so for me, when I was making, you know, when I was making really good money, I just wanted more. And when I didn't have any money, I was sad. And so, like, you know, my, you know, money was dictating my identity, which is You know, not, it's just not the way and it'll never work. And so it's like, don't let it have you. Like we allow the objects to control us or run the life. Like you mentioned, entrepreneurship, people.

May appear to be very happy and fulfilled when they reach such huge status or huge results, but there's something missing. They're not fulfilled. And I feel when you go within, you start finding that fulfillment. Why don't you. Get the fulfillment now and then whatever else you're doing just becomes joyful, you enjoy it and you don't need to wait to get to somewhere to get the joy or fulfillment. You can have it right now. We have the gifts to to make that happen and that's such a great story.

And I'm grateful to have met you and brought you on the show and see what you have found because there is that. inner struggle with people. That jumpy feeling or that the edgy feeling like there's a lot of fear, unknowingness. It causes a lot of health issues, when we're going out and trying to grind it and trying to be better than someone else because our focus is on other people.

What you have went through and the success you've seen, you realize that there is something missing, and from the book, I believe that Time, Money, Freedom Without Selling the Soul, so that's fascinating to me. Can you kind of unpack that for us a little bit? Just high level?

Yeah, so my wife and I wrote Time, Money, Freedom. It's published by Hay House. And it's the 10 simple rules to redefine what's possible and radically reshape your life. And, you know, we, we wrote that to, you know, to help some people create more freedom in their life. And we detail like, what are the different things that, that we did to go from, you know me, I had lost it all in the real estate market. So I was broken foreclosure depressed.

She was working at the makeup counter and, you know, and what were the changes that we made to build a successful company that's, you know, that's impacting others. And, and so it's helped, you know, helped a lot of people and and that's, you know, that's what we're called to do, you know, go out and help more people.

Yeah. So that book, is it mostly, I would say mindset, the inner world that got you out of that? There's, there's pieces of it, but then there's, there's also you know, some very tangible things, right? So you know, create successful habits. What tools will help you get more results? What does a commitment strategy look like? You know, what's your relationship with money? Because what I've found is almost every person I've ever coached, their business problem was a personal problem.

And the personal problem is often observations you made as a kid. So the person that is you know, resistant to being consistent, it's because they've drawn the wrong conclusion to success. So a very common one is if they saw their parents make a bunch of money then lose it, then they very well could have a trigger within them that is sabotaging them ever making a lot of money because they think you'll just lose it, right? And that's in the subconscious.

If someone is resistant to recognition, they had siblings 100 percent of the time. And so if someone's like, well, you know, I, I, I don't want to, I don't want to shine too bright because then they'll have me up on stage. I guarantee you they had siblings and usually they were the good ones. So they drew the conclusion as a kid that when they got praised, someone else got hurt. And no one, unless you're a psychopath, like no one likes that. No one wants other people to be hurt.

And you, you get edified. Some people, if they saw their parents work really, really hard, but never get any rewards, they actually will sabotage making money cause they don't want their parents to feel bad. They don't want to show up their parents. And so we have all these meanings that we've created that don't serve us from the observations we made as children. And so we talk a lot about that in the book about changing your relationship.

Probably the most discussed chapter is the one about pluck your weeds. And pluck your weeds means not just, Hey, if you got negative people in your life, get rid of them. But it's. Look at every area of your life and what areas are incongruent with who you want to be. So like for me I, It was incongruent for who I wanted to be to have social anxiety. And I remember I was gonna, you know, I was speaking at Russell Brunson's Funnel Hacking Live, and you know, 5, 000 people, Nashville, Tennessee.

That was, I think, 2019. And I'm out in the, in the lobby talking with some people and I have a full blown panic attack. I have to go back to my room. I'm hyperventilating. I'm just like freaking out. And I decided I'm going to learn what caused this. I'm going to learn why did this happen? Why do I often have social anxiety? Why do I speak? You know, I mean, I've spoken to crowds of 26, 000 people and, and then I get, you know, big standing ovation, everyone loves it.

And then I rushed back to my hotel room and kind of hide and diminish why? Well, I did the work to figure that out. I plucked the weed. So I using some, you using, you know, one of my coaches, he helped me remember, But in the third grade, I had a teacher that knew something was going on because I grew up in a very abusive home. And she had me start meeting with the guidance counselor. And, and I start trusting this guidance counselor.

And one day, you know, and I'm sharing some of the stuff going on at home, which, you know, isn't pretty. And one day, I show up for our meeting, and my stepmom were there. And she proceeds to tell him everything I've ever told her. She did that because she thought they were too outrageous. She thought I was just like making stuff up because it's, you know, some of them are very rough stories.

And so she, you know, she told my dad and my stepmom, Hey, you know, I think he just needs more attention at home because he's just, you know, he's making up some stuff. And that was a very bad day. They certainly gave me attention. But that's the day that I stopped trusting anybody. So for the rest of my life, I had this distrust filter. And when someone has a distrust filter, they, they won't allow you to connect.

So I had a lot of people around me that I kept at a distance and I didn't know why, but as soon as people started to get closer to me, I would actually freak out inside because there was still a little boy in my head and my subconscious that said, if you trust them, they'll hurt you. Because anytime you trust it in the past, they hurt you. And so, so many people live their entire life without plucking that weed, without figuring that out. And so, by fixing that, I no longer have social anxiety.

I no longer am asking my wife, do we have to go to this party? Can we leave early? Like, I no longer deal with that. And it's because I gained awareness of it, and plucked that weed, and that's one of the chapters in the book. That's wonderful, and I'm sorry to hear about the childhood part, and, you know, it's very

You know, I'll just say, just to that, and I know this sounds strange to most people, it was the greatest gift God gave me because it put me in rooms I otherwise couldn't get in. So, I'll go speak to troubled teenagers, I'll go speak to kids in foster care, I'll go speak to people who've been through human trafficking, sexual abuse, physical abuse. If I don't have that happen to me, I, I'm not asked to go in those rooms.

And it's, and it's one of the greatest sources of joy to help the person I used to be. To help people that have been through some of the stuff that I've been through, and some of them way worse, let's be honest. And so I don't, I don't look at it as, you know, that was so unfair. I just saw it as God had a big calling on my life. And he put me through that so that I could go and help other people.

Yeah, there's, you know, challenges or issues that we have growing up or anything, even And as adulthood, there's always a hidden message or something that is happening for a reason and you having the ability to get in those rooms, to serve other people, to help them, that was your, that's like in that. Sense is like a gift, that you are able to go and help other people out there.

What you're saying, it sounds very similar to what we call a paradigm in the subconscious and the self image in the paradigm. And the self image is formed growing up through experiences, through other people, circumstances, situations. And some of them you don't even know they're there and you never even know there's an issue.

Until you start digging deep and start looking, then when you find them, you know, through my transformation, I also went through a lot to find out why I'm certain way, because it was obvious that there were This type of programming that I went through when I was growing up that caused me automatically to behave or respond or react in life as an adult. And finding that out and being able to, to swap it or, or replace it, it's, it's a huge, huge gift.

And I'm glad that, yeah, very powerful is glad that you, that you went through that you speak about emotional mastery.

You're in network marketing, that's your niche, that you work with is, can you explain why that is important? To master. Yeah. Yeah, there's there's multiple reasons, right? There's multiple reasons for, for why that's important is, you know someone I studied under, you know, for a few years, Dr. Joe dispense. He spoke at a couple of events. You know, he says your, you know, personality is, is, you know, what you think, act and do, right? That's your personality. And, and so in neuroscience.

Your thoughts are what create the emotions that then also influence your thoughts. And those, so you're, you're thinking, feeling, feeling, thinking, and that dictates the options you see in your life. So if you are thinking, feeling, feeling, thinking in a positive nature, you will naturally see more options in your view. You will see more like, Hey, if I reach out to this person, maybe something good will happen. If I go to this event, you know, maybe I'll have a breakthrough and vice versa.

If you're more negative, thinking, feeling, feeling, thinking, then you see fewer options. So you'll see the event and say, why bother? I suck, you know, I've been to a bunch of them. They've never helped me in the past. Right. And so it's so important for you to stop being the passenger in the car. Right. And what, what happens neuroscience is you start digging these grooves.

So someone who is constantly negative, your body acts to, starts to chemically be addicted to the emotions of negativity. Your body actually starts to crave that thing that doesn't serve it. And, and so people get caught in this, this downward spiral of just, they're just a passenger. The, the, the body has tamed the master, but you're the master of your body. And emotions are the language of the body. And so for you to have emotional mastery is literally for you to take the reins.

And for you to say, Hey, I'm in charge here, not my past programming, not the things that I've been through, not the negative things I'm verifying, you know, that I believe to be true, but I want a different outcome. And you are not going to get a different outcome if you don't take control of your emotions.

And, you know, fortunately there's, there's, you know, biblical instructions to this. You know, the Apostle Paul tells us to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. We're told to tame the body, make it our slave. We're told to you know, not, not succumb, you know, to this emotional roller coaster, but to take, take note, right? To, to be aware of, Hey, this is an idea, this is a non ideal state of being. I don't want this anymore.

And, you know, we're told to you know, cast our anxiety on him because he cares for us. And so there's a lot, there's a lot, you know, science usually takes a really long time, in this case, thousands of years, but that catches up to the Bible. And, and so these are biblical in nature, but also proven now by, by neuroscience. Of, you know, for example, Mark 11, 24 says, when you pray, pray as if you've already received, well, that's, that's telling you law of attraction.

That's telling you mental rehearsal. That's telling you visualization. That's telling you imagination. Right? And, and so it's something that if you just let your emotions run rampant. You are unable to create new results in your life. Overall theology, most of the religions pretty much at the high level are speaking the same language and now science is kind of catching up with it.

Even our emotional state has such a huge impact on our physical health Even proving it has an effect on DNA and it's incredible what kind of damage or what kind of good we can do. Based on what we think, feel, and act. We've been gifted and with this such capabilities, such amazing gifts we can shift our reality in a beautiful way or in a, in a negative way, it just depends on how we.

But can you speak about the visualization and manifestation? Because that's part of, for anybody that's not familiar. Yeah, so it's, you know, if you, if you take into, you know, and there's obviously this is a lot of New Age, you know, claims this. But, you know, it was written thousands of years ago, you know, Mark 11, 24, when you pray, pray as if you've already received. Well, how do you pray as if you've already received? You use your imagination, you use mental rehearsal.

So mental rehearsal is you spending more time with that version of yourself that you actually want than your current circumstances. Okay. And, and so it's you, you know, seeing yourself and, and so many people use this, right? I mean, you know I just saw an interview or it's a sports for sure.

I mean, sports all the time, you know, most, you know, if you watch the, you know, any kind of Olympic champion, like As a kid, they'll talk about how they stood up on the tree stump and was first place gold medal. You know, I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger talks about it a lot. And, you know, and Arnold talks about how he saw I think it was Reg Parks as a kid. And he saw this guy who played the actor of Hercules and he saw that he was a bodybuilder.

And he just started visualizing himself being that person and lo and behold, seven time Mr. Olympia, movie star, right? And so the thing is most people, and perhaps I don't want to, I can't make this claim, but I believe probably all people do mentally rehearse, but what are you mentally rehearsing?

Because you'll always verify what you believe to be true. So if you think that life is tough, if you think you can't trust anyone, if you think that money is difficult, then that is going to be your experience. But a part of you is mentally rehearsing it already. And, and so you have to mentally rehearse the things you do want, right? What is it that you want?

For example, when I did those, you know, two years of meditation, although it didn't even make sense because I knew nothing for those two years of meditation, nine times out of 10 my intention was to get closer to God. I didn't know anything about God. I didn't grow up in the Bible. I didn't, I didn't know anything, but guess what? It worked. And, and so it's something that spending more time with a future version of yourself.

Then what's wrong and what's going on in my life currently and this can be used to completely change very. Interesting parts of your life. And so I'll share this one quick story. So two years ago, our, our 10 year anniversary was coming up with my wife and I, so I decided to get ballroom dance lessons and I, and I'm my whole life, terrible dancer. Okay. And so, you know, I just want more time with her. Right. So we start ballroom dancing and sure enough, she's amazing spinning into the air.

And I'm just this goofy Frankenstein, just stomping my feet. And so, and I know I was bad. I know I was because a couple of things happened. Number one, they asked me if I was in an accident and I'm thinking, man, do they think I was like brain damaged or something? Like it was very insulting. And, and they're like, well, no, like your hips, like do your hips move? And I'm like, Ooh, and I'm like moving my entire legs. I don't, I don't know what I'm doing.

And then they're like, Ray, do you hear. The rhythm, it goes doom, doom. And I'm like, what? I mean, I just, I just don't know what they're talking about. Four months in, I'm a consistent, God made me very consistent. Okay. Four months in two classes a week. I still suck. There was a new student lacing up his shoes, watching us. And as soon as we finish, he rushes over to my wife and I, and he's like, Oh, my goodness. I am so glad I came in early. Wow, do I feel better about myself?

I'm like, thanks. He was saying, you're so bad that you just made me feel better about myself. But that was the kick in the teeth I needed. That night, I start mentally rehearsing. What if I was a great dancer? What would it look like? What would it feel like? How would I know it's true? And I start just mentally rehearsing. And I do this every night. Six months later, we go to an international competition in Miami. We come in first place in two different dances in our division.

And the teacher said, Ray, it was like, all of a sudden, one day, you just got way better. And the truth is, I didn't increase my practice. I just started mentally rehearsing, and it literally altered what I thought was a physical handicap.