Sonic Society #897- Alba Thrillex!

ご視聴ありがとうございました Welcome home. The following audiodrama is rated PG for parental guidance. More turbulence! Yeah, hold tight. It's rough going now, but if the instruments are right, it'll be worth it. Where are we headed? Well, as you can guess after the smooth sailing last week, I picked up another old favorite of the society. Really? What is it? Imagination lane?

Icebox radio? Wireless radio theater? Alba Salix. Alba Salix? Well, it's been about ten years since we found them and about six years ago since we last touched base. This could go a long way to shore up our Bronze Age fantasy topography. Indeed. And as we tighten in our beam, we've got three shorts worth listening to: Clairvoy Kant and Hiding Out, Holly and the Pigeon and the Perfect Crime, and Enter the Brain Castle and it'll all end in tears. And our trilogy begins right here.

society. Eleven years ago, an energy company comes down here. They unearth What's a door? We call it the vault. I think whatever is on the other side of that door out there, it's not friendly. I think I can open it. I can give them what they want. The entire night's buckling. It's a dominoff! Everyone hold on to something! What have we done to ourselves? So he's sacked. It's the only one who can get the others to that ship. Something perfect. And bring it home. Killian? It's so important.

What's happening here? You're not always right, mate. So, it's to be war between us then. I think it must be. Mark versus Dorian. Jesus Christ. Who is this? You keep talking about. Cause Because what's coming? Derelict. Season three. Our crowdfunding. Support us at derelikt podcast.com slash wall. The rogue sneaks past the guards. The cleric prepares a spell. The fighter. Wait, an ad? Don't let interruptions ruin your next Nat 20. Get ad-free immersive.

Actual play podcast with Fable and Folly Plus. Sign up now at Fable and Folly.com slash.

Hey all, it's Eli. How are ya? Uh we hope you've been doing well through this Tumultuous summer. Uh we bring exciting news. I've got two brand new mini episodes for you today, starring Magnus and Holly, and we've got more coming in the weeks ahead. Five in all, uh I think we're gonna throw in a bonus episode too, uh one that was originally released to our Patreon backers. Um so all of these are set during season two and recorded in our upstairs studio here at home.

We're we're currently in something of a like a COVID lull here in Ontario, like knock on wood big time. Uh and so, you know, with great with great care, a lot of wiping down of surfaces, a lot of wearing of masks. Uh we've been bringing in actors to record with us and a couple of guests have joined us remotely as well. So this is all in the lead up to season three of Albacelix.

We're writing like crazy. This time around we've got a whole amazing team of writers joining us. Uh so Bilal Dardai from Unwell, Jen Sugden from Victoriosity, and Jordan Cobb of No Such Thing Productions. Um, in fact, uh, Jordan wrote today's mini episode too. You may know her from the The absolutely harrowing space horror podcast, Janice Descending, or uh uh she's got an upcoming sci-fi adventure called Primordial Deep.

But she's also funny as hell. You can find all her uh podcast projects at nosuchthingradio.com. Uh they're also on Twitter at No Such Thing ADS.

And she has written us a great little story called Clairvoy Cant Enjoy. In Minister Pearcy was talking to her purse. Her purse? She stopped as soon as she saw me. She said she was rearranging her schedule. Wait a minute. Holly you don't think that Nah. What? What is it? No, it's too ridiculous. Unless What? Minister Pearcy can see the future. Ow! Thank you! Hey, workplace abuse! Miss Pearcy is not a psychic!

Can you prove she's not not a psychic? She's not a wizard. So she claims why else would she be in charge of the Ministry of Magical Affairs? She's the best woman for the job? Then she spends all this time with Alba, all those secret meetings. They could be talking about anything. Magnus, we spend all our time with Alba, and it hasn't made you a wizard. Hey. Okay, fine. But as minister, I bet she's got access to all sorts of reality bending magical artifacts. That's

Probably true. But she wouldn't use them, would she? Who wouldn't? Of course you would. She's in charge. Who's gonna tell her no? Maybe she uses the artifacts to crush her enemies. Or See the future. But that's unethical. And Minister Peercy is nice. You don't really believe that absolute power corrupts. Absolutely. Holly, I'm telling you, Pearcy's totally got something up her sleeve. She can see the future. That's ridiculous. Only one way to find out.

You have to get inside her purse and see if you can find any mystical futurey stuff. Me? No! I'm not going to go through Miss Pearcy's purse. It's for the good of the realm. No it isn't. It's immoral. What's immoral? Miss Pearcy Minister Hi How are you? Any special plans for the day? No, not really. Just meetings and Apparently I'll be shopping for a new bag this afternoon. What's this about immorality? Oh um we Nothing. Listen I just

created a new surgical technique that uh harnesses the powers of the great outdoors. It's called the spinning leaf of life. Magnus, I am not going to sanction outdoor surgery. Oh, but this is a super surgical Special surgery, where you literally blast all of the toxins out of a person's body. So we'll need a lot of space. Absolutely not. Please.

How can you know you're not gonna let me do it if I don't show you how awesome it is first? That's not how that works. You'll wanna leave your stuff in here. Splatter radius. No. Holly will take that for you. Magnus! Thanks, Holly! Can't wait for Minister Pearcy to see the future of medicine! I do not have time for this today. Magnus stop. Stop, Magnus.

Uh Hello, Minister Pearcy's Beg? This is ridiculous. Bags can't talk. If anybody was talking to Minister Pearcy, they would have to be inside the bag, which means Let's see Quill, Chimera Girl lipstick, mm good color. Giant weird rock and Minister Percy's planning notebook, of course. Wow, talk about a tight schedule. Nobody could possibly plan this far ahead unless

She can see the future and you're her secret book of divination, aren't you? You were the one Peercy was talking to, weren't you? It's okay. You can tell me. Hello, mister Planner Hm I bet I could wake you up with a little essence of Bukovac. Alba must have bottle of it somewhere. Oh here it is. Here you go, little guy. Wakey wakey. Who knows the clandestine secrets of tomorrow? You do Well yes No! No! Nice book! Good planner! No, no, smash her! Hey! Push it with a claw! Get s back in the first!

Joke's on you, buddy. You don't have a place to nap anymore. No, no, trust me. It's gonna be amazing. I don't know why it wasn't working. I mean it has worked going on in here. Oh cool. Miss PC, Holly, what did you do? Is that Is that my planner? I just wanted him to tell me the future. I heard you this morning rearranging your schedule. I saw your appointments and we know about the magical vault.

I know you can see the future. What are you talking about? Polly, I'm not a wizard. You can't deny it. And Magnus said you were evil. Uh did he? I mean I'm not evil I'm a bureaucrat. Close, but not quite the same thing. But but your planner though I work for the king, Holly. Everyone in my department has a planner like that. Seriously? Well, not exactly like that. I'm sorry, Miss Pearcy. May I have my coat, please? And my bag?

Sorry. I'll make you a new one. That's all right. I was scheduled to get a new one anyway. I assume I can leave you two to deal with that? Of course, Miss Pearcy. We'll take care of it right away. Right. Well, if you'll excuse me. I'll go get the shovel. Wait, Magnus, how did she know about the purse? You arrive there, Leon? Perfectly all right. Thank you, Minister. You're really gonna tell me you saw that purse thing coming? No one could have predicted that turn of events.

I just thought that the strap was looking a little worn. But I have adjusted your schedule accordingly. Right. Thanks. Hey! Get back here!

Clairvoycant was written by Jordan Cobb and starred Julian Sark as Magnus, Olivia John as Holly, Elaine O'Neill as Antalya Pearcy, and Braden Lamb as Leon Stamatis. Uh you can hear much, much more from Leon on Greater Boston. Uh it's one of our faves. I mean, obviously. Thought. Distant memory. Greetings and sounds. Lesnar. The scribe Beware, for you have been called. And others have prayed to forget. Join me now. Take a step into the nameless chronicle.

Find the nameless chronicles on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon, and your favorite streaming platform. Today I met the love of my life. Her name is Judah Persuma. She just she seemed kinda off to me. Why would you think that? Tell me. It's her eyes, they're just so dark. I feel like she's gonna eat me or something. I get that a lot. Hell really broke the moment they released her. And she is everything. Something's amiss at Juniper's house. Available everywhere this Valentine's Day. So, next up.

I wrote this one. It's got some possible spoilers for our role playing game spinoff, The End of Time and Other Bothers. Uh I I say spoilers but Magnus is involved, so who's to say what's true? This one is called hiding out. Ha! Hoo! Ha! He! Ha! Ho ho ho ho ho ho nice try. You might be twice as big. I've got speed and ingenuity on my side! I know it's not a fair fight, but hey, you were dumb enough to start it, so Hey YAAH!

Hahaha Didn't see that coming, did you? Of course not. Have you ever actually held a sword? Like a like a real sword? You should probably think about a change in career, you know, like taking out the trash. Oh wait, that's my job. Ha ha! Ha he ha hoo! Awww Did that hurt? Is the big bad giant scared? Why don't you run along back to your Magnus, what are you doing out here? I'm practicing. It's the Malurian Great Heart Sword Technique. More like big mouth stick technique. Wow. Wow. Sorry. Listen.

Trash talk is a vital part of throwing off your enemy's game. You're supposed to be back at the House of Healing helping out the installers. They were getting along fine without me. They need someone there for safety. You don't even have to go up on the roof. Why can't you do it? I'm on reception.

I'm supposed to be on reception anyway. I shouldn't have to come and track you down because you're hiding out in the forest. Practicing practicing in the forest. The magic support team only has a narrow window to install those lunar panels. Stupid panels. Why do we need them anyway? You know why. It takes a lot of mystical energy to power all the new equipment. Which Minister Pearcy keeps dumping on us. You're just mad because you're not allowed to use any of it. Well it's ridiculous.

Why do we need to lock up all the fun I I mean the magical items? I can't even use a fountain pen without having to check it out from that machine in the hall. Yeah, like that's such a burden. Hey, at least I can remember my password. Everyone forgets their password. Four days in a row? You need to get back to work, Magnus. We should just sign up with Mysticorp Energy. They'll run a line straight to our front door and do all the installation work themselves. You know we can't use them.

They sell magic harvested straight from the loo line. Using fricking that's so dangerous. It's safer than the alternative. Lunar energy is safe and renewable and dependable Until it's cloudy out. The storage tanks can hold enough moonlight to last us weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I don't trust lunar power. What do you mean trust? It's the moon. P you know.

Moon magic is kinda d dangerous, isn't it? How could it ever be dangerous? It's exactly the same energy that makes moondrops work, and all of the equipment has been blessed by the priestesseline herself.

Uh, yeah. That's the problem. What? The priestess Celine? Don't don't say her name! She's the goddess of the moon! I'm aware! I just don't trust her. Magnus, you're being ridiculous. The moon is true and sustaining and Selene Sholly Of all the gods and goddesses, why would you be afraid of Selene? Uh

She's always trying to spread her influence across the land. I I beg you these lunar panels are a trick. She can probably see out of them or project herself through them or Magnus, even if she could do all that, she's a kind and gentle. Have you met her? No, have you? Yes. I have, actually. Yeah, right. It's true. When did you meet the goddess of the moon? It was a few years ago. When I was delivering mail for the monastery. I I was out by

You know, that temple out towards paradox? The big tree that's been blasted by lightning. The temple of the oracle? Yeah. I I was there when it got blasted by lightning. Really? Yes. There was this demon and a fairy and this other scary lady who turned into a bear There were a lot of scary ladies actually, and and they were trying to summon a different goddess, like an ancient evil one, and that's how the tree got exploded. And then poof, Selene just showed up. She did.

She showed up in a chariot covered in all this blue fire and she wanted the demon guy to dedicate the tree temple to her, but he made her mad, and she set us all away and then there was a giant monster when we found. Fell off it and the fairy couldn't fly, and we nearly died like a hundred times, but then she pulled us back into her castle and And Oh man I just remembered Sil the moon goddess, she gave me a task to perform. She gave you a task. But I forgot. I totally forgot about it until now.

Oh no. You an ordinary human boy. She knew my name and everything. And she said I was supposed to deliver a message to my future boss. Who? Alba? She must have met Alba. Geez I'm so dead. Magnus, when are you not so dead? So what was the message? She said, Tell your boss that the goddess of the moon says Hello. That's it? I think that was it. So are you coming back to help with these panels? Yeah, okay.

Hiding Out starred Julian Sark as Magnus and Olivia John as Holly. You can hear Magnus's pre-alba adventures in our special crossover episodes of The End of Time and Other Bothers. So search for other bothers wherever you listen to podcasts. And did you know that you can find loads more bonus content for all our shows on our Patreon? And you can find that at albasalix.com. Just look for the Patreon link there.

That's it for this week. We're gonna be back with more in two weeks. Stay well and bye for now. Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish. Are you two still awake? Dad, we're too excited! You'll be tired at Mockery Manor tomorrow. And it's bigger than ever, so you really do need to sleep. Daddy, tell us about Okay, okay. Yay! Mockery Manor. So they built a whole new park. And cool. Claytonville and There are four In Love Lorem Town! And are you worried?

To ride the w It's the Four Spurs battery! Way to get it Two parks in one and only$19.99 for a family of four. And how about you? Yeah, that's right. You listening to this. Are you ready to come back? To Mockery Manor? Season three. Available now. Eleven years ago an energy company comes down here. They unearth that. What's a door? We call it the vault. I think whatever is on the other side of that door out there, it's not friendly.

I can open it. I can give them what they want. The entire plate's buckling. It's a domino! Everyone hold on to something! What have we done to ourselves? the elders. It exploded! It's the only one who can get the others to that ship I- I lost something. Something perfect. Bring it home. Killian is so Important. Little ones right made for So, it's to be war between us then. I think it must be. Mars versus Dorian. Jesus Christ. Who is this? Graph. No cards to play. Because what's coming?

Yeah. Crowdfunding. Support us at derelictpodcast.com slash wall. A trail of clues, a ticking clock, and then Ad? That's not how this story goes. Without distractions. Your mysteries suspenseful and ad-free. Sign up now at Fableandfolly.com/slash plus. The truth awaits.

Hey everyone, it's Eli here with two more brand new mini-sodes of Alba Salex Royal Physician, starring Magnus and Holly. Uh and I also want to take a moment to thank everyone who supported us and is supporting us right now. We couldn't do this without you. This is what keeps us going financially, uh, emotionally, as we roll on with season three.

'Cause yeah, season three of Alba Salix is taking shape. We just got the first drafts in from our amazing writing team and they they are already so good. I am really, really looking forward to this whole season. Um, but to make the new season, we need your help. Uh we're we're not doing the Indiegogo thing this time around, uh, but support from our listeners is still gonna be crucial. So Patreon or one time donations or spreading the word, all of it.

Uh go to albasalix.com slash support to learn about all the ways that you can help us make season three link in the show notes. And with that. On to the mini sodes. It's another double feature today. Our first story is Holly and the Pigeon, written by and guest starring Beth Crane, who is uh the writer of the sci-fi comedy We Fix Space Junk. which is about two women who schlep around the galaxy doing repair work for uh an evil corporation.

They're in the middle of their season three and yeah, we we just love it so much. Check them out at Battlebird dot productions or look for we fix space junk on your favorite podcast app.

Shoot! Mm-hmm. Shoo! Leave me alone! Holly? That pigeon out there has been chasing me all morning. He showed up when I was gathering herbs and he just won't leave me alone. A pigeon? Yes, a pigeon. That pigeon. Do you know why? I don't know. I was just gathering some moonlight bear turtle leaves and I uh Oh what? You know how Queen Parabelle saved the king after he was turned into a goat? Yeah. It's just like that. He's a human under a curse and he came to the house with healing for help.

I don't know. Sometimes a pigeon is just a pigeon. But he needs our help! All right, come in. Maybe try not to no uh there. He's found a perch. On Alba's coat I don't think she's gonna be very happy about that. She'll be happy if I save this poor person. We'll just have a look in Hilbury's Encyclopedia of Curses. All right. There are a few different options. What do you look like? Let's try this one first. Were you cursed by a witch for stealing?

I don't know pigeon. Is that a yes? So that's an elixir of fermented yewark, crushed snark foot tendrils, and a pinch of midsum seed, combined with some verified clarified purified sheet butter. There we go. Come on. Try it. It's gonna help. Hopefully. Well, looks like a winner to me. Shh, just wait. I think you've made it angry. Okay. So that didn't work. Right, next try. Hexed by a warlock for rudeness? Ugh That's uh

Fox saliva boiled up with a mixture of bleeding heart seeds and hemp flax, cooled and submerged in coiling oil. We're nearly out of fox saliva. Are you sure you want to use it up? You can always get more. Last time didn't ghost. Foxes are jerks. You better be grateful for this. I had a lot to do this afternoon. Rat. Alright, this time you can get the fox aliva. Enchanted by a myrrh person for the theft of an important cultural object. Hello! Lighted by a subdemon for extravagant chivalry?

Damned by a fairy queen for unreasonable singing? Jinxed by gin for recrementious demands. Bewitched by a banshee due to excessive noise on a weeknight! Alright This is the only possibility left. Prince cursed by a court witch. I really hope you didn't do anything too bad. And that's Oh. True love's kiss It's not exactly true love, is it? You're a pigeon, I'm a fairy. We barely know each other but But we gotta try it, right? Would that be okay? Trap! I really thought that might be it.

I'm sorry I'm not sure I can help you. Hello, terribly sorry. I don't suppose you've seen a pigeon around here. What? Oh there you are! Armand, oh come here. There you go. My sweet boy, he got disorientated. Have you got some kind of magnet in this hut? The red cabinet, maybe. I'm pretty sure the lock on it uses magnets. Big ones. Oh, that must be it. Armand was supposed to be out on a race, but he took off dead straight in this direction. I'm so sorry about that.

Guess we won't be racing around here again. Uh glad we could help. Thanks again. I'll be going. You got it. Oh sometimes a pigeon is just a pigeon, Holly. But what if that lady was actually a witch, and her mom was a captured prince, and then Sometimes a pigeon is just a pigeon.

Um sometimes a pigeon is just a pigeon. Holly and the Pigeon was written by Beth Crane and starred Julian Sark as Magnus, Olivia John as Holly, and Beth Crane as Armand and Gerda. distant memory. Yeah. You have been gifted. And others have prayed to forget. Join me now, that we may Through the wonderful and Take a step. The nameless chronic

Find the Nameless Chronicles on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon, and your favorite streaming platforms. Today, I met the love of my life. Her name is Judah Persuma. She just she seemed kinda- Why would you think that? Tell me. It's her eyes, they're just so dark. I feel like she's gonna eat me or something. I get that a lot. Hell really broke the mobile to released her.

And she is everything. Something's amiss at Juniper's house. Available everywhere this Valentine's Day. Next up, a story by Maximilian John. He's one of the brilliant minds at Definitely Human. They make Marscore and Down and The Infinite Bad and a ton of other great shows. Check them out at definitelyhuman.co.uk and check max out at maximilianjohn.com. Link in the show notes.

This one is called The Perfect Crime. Where is it? That's it Oh Alright. If I was Elba, where would I hide it? Hmm. I'm Alba. I'm Judge. Proving. I like bubbleberry cake and I need to hide it from Magnus. No cake for you, Magnus. You haven't earned it. You're too lazy, so I'll hide my ill-gotten booty where you'll never look. I'll hide it in the mop bucket.

Damn it! What are you doing? Holly, don't sneak up on people! I wasn't sneaking. Fairies don't sneak, Magnus. And we closed hours ago. What are you up to? I could ask you the same question. I've been collecting scaly woolweed. The roots have to be harvested by night and dried immediately. Oh good. That's good. Carry on. Wait. You're looking for that cake, aren't you? Alba said you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off it. I am being unjustly denied my rights.

Hey, it was for the whole house of healing. I did my part. If I wasn't holding the door closed when those bees attacked Jerome, we'd have all got stung. That's right. Instead of just me, Alba and Jerome. You guys were goners anyway. It was damage limitation. Well, you'll never find out. Not in a million years. And even if you do, Alba told me she booby trapped it. So how's that for damage limitation? She was probably just saying that to scare you off. Hold on. Do you know where it is?

You do, don't you? You're folding your wings in that smug way. As a matter of fact, I found it this afternoon. Where is it? I'm not telling. Holly, you gotta tell me. It's inhumane. I'll do laundry for a week. I'll clean a lab. Properly this time Come on, what does it take to get you to snitch? I'm not snitching. Fairies don't snitch. We don't do anything starting with a snu no sneaking, no snitching, no no stuffling.

Okay, fine. You found it this afternoon. Great. And if you can do it, I can do it. All I have to do is retrace your movements. Wait, no, that's not what I let's see now. You changed all the dots above the eyes on the jar labels into little hearts Adorable but I already looked at the Then you clean the ceiling for the third time this week after one of your potions blew up for the third time this week and

AHHHHH MANGUS, be careful, it's not Thought I'd never go looking up here, did ya? Magnus, don't touch that! Hey, get off of me! Well, well, well what have we here? A shiny blue cake tin. Ow! It's forever! Give it to me! Cake! I deserve cake! How Booby trap. This is all your fault. I can't get my hand off the tin! Me neither. Holly, what is this stuff? I don't know. It it smells like igneous glue. Great. Punished for my success once again!

Man, we're stuck good. We gotta go find Alba. I'm not going anywhere. You can't make me. You wanna bet? We're stuck together now. Oh really? How about this? We're gonna get this glue off, pretend this never happened, or when Alba finds us with our hands. I'm gonna tell her that you were the one stealing it. What? You've done nothing but lie and scheme. Why would she believe you over me? Oh you poor, poor fool. That's not how blame works. Of course Alba won't believe me.

But there's always doubt, isn't there, Holly? There's always a tiny sliver of doubt. There's probably a million to one chance that I'm telling the truth. I'll keep insisting on it. For years and years, long after a normal person would have given up, I'll be outraged and unshaken. Pretty soon that little sliver of doubt's gonna grow. Alba's gonna think no one would keep lying like this for so long, and that million to one chance will suddenly feel like a hundred to one. Then

Seeing all the little inconsistencies, Holly, the little inconsistencies in your story as the years dim your memory. But my story. The same. And that hundred to one will start feeling like ten to one. But then fifty-fifty. You'd have to be crazy to lie for this long, she'll think. Maybe he really is telling the truth. Oh my god! You're a monster I'm a fighter. I'll never give in. So you better help me get this glue off, or one day, however long it takes, you're gonna look as guilty as me.

Fine You're the worst I heard somewhere that maybe you can dissolve igneous glue. See, that's more like it. I've got it. Let's get some oil satyrs hoof. That always does the job for softening King Gunther's foot calluses. Gros. Here somewhere. Ah, stop shoving me. Well, you keep stepping on my toes. Only because you're in the way. No, you're in the way. Get your big feet out of me. My feet aren't big. They're luxurious. Everyone says so. What kind of luxury is that? Well at least I don't snore.

I do not snore. Fairies don't snore. S N s Magnus Well, I hate to be the bearer of, you know, truth, Holly, but you snore just like the rest of us lowly mortals. Is it at least a cute snore? Like a bowl? Ha! More like a whole herd of voles falling down a well. Oh no. Remember when you were testing that new amborella tincture and fell asleep, and you woke up with a tea cozy over your head?

I knew that was you. Yeah, because your cute little snoring was gonna shatter the windows. When I get free, I'm definitely telling Alba you stole her cake. We've been over this already, Holly. I am a master of manipulation. Hold still this is going to soften the glue. Well It doesn't seem to be working. What do you mean? The glue can't be harder than the king's calluses. He wears out his shoes from the inside. Paul! Well,

Your way didn't work. It's time to try my way. No! Let's just go to Alba. No, we're fighters, Hall. Glue that cannot be dissolved must be melted. We are not getting anywhere near a fire with this. I'm not an idiot, Holly. I'm not gonna light us on fire. That's what you said last time. We'll just hold our hands close to the fire so that the glue melts.

Igneous glue is made with lava, Magnus. You can't melt it! Not with that attitude. Not with any attitude. Oh no! She's back! Everyone for themselves! Well Holly did it!

The perfect crime starred Julian Sarkas Magnus and Olivia Jonas Hawley with Barbara Clifford as Both of today's mini episodes were directed by Sean Howard, with sound design by Eli Hamada McElveen. We'll be back in two weeks with our final mini sode by Mac Rogers, and it's a wild one. In the meantime, stay well out there. Cheers. Jinxed by a gin for recommendation.

Jinxed by a gin for recreous uh say it again. Jinxed by a gin for recommenti recromentious If I wasn't holding the door closed when those bees attacked Jerome Whoops. Sorry. Magnus did it! It's all good. I'm judgy. I'm disapproving. I like bumbleber Oh see, now you've done it. You and your bumbleberry, Sean. Okay, we'll do that again. Sorry. I like to take where I knack the the lamp over better, but uh that's that's just me. We should just do it in the dark. There you go.

They unearthed that. It's a door? We call it the vault. I think whatever is on the other side of the door. out there, it's not friendly. I think it's trying to get out. I can open it. I can give them what they want. The entire night's goggling! Everyone hold on to something. What have we done to ourselves? the elders. It exploded! It's the only one who can get the others to that ship. I lost something. Something perfect. Kill him.

Is so important to what is happening here. The little ones right made free. So it's to be war between us then. I think it must be. Mark versus Dorian. Jesus Christ. Who is this Dr. Graf you keep talking about? No cards to play here. Because what's coming? Reason three. Support us at derelictpodcast.com slash wall.

Hey everyone, it's Eli here with the last of this series of Alba Salix minisodes. As I mentioned last time, a huge thank you to everyone who's supporting us monetarily or by reviewing or posting about us or telling your friends and family Um I s I say this all the time, but it's it's worth saying.

We couldn't do this without you. I really do mean that. We're working away on season three and figuring out how we're gonna record while keeping our cast and crew safe. And uh yeah, we'll keep you posted on our various social media channels. And more than ever, support from our listeners is essential, whether that's a regular donation through Patreon or a one time donation or by helping us spread the word, as I say, it all makes a huge difference.

Go to albasalix dot com slash support to find out how you can help us make season three of Alba. Alrighty then. We got two more mini sodes for you. One is brand new, and the other is a Patreon exclusive uh that we wanted to share with everyone this time around. First off, here is the brand new one. It's by Mac Rogers. Uh you know, that guy that writes amazing sci-fi thrillers like The Message and Steal the Stars.

Uh you can find him on the web at MacRogers dot org and on Twitter at MacRights or uh search for his shows on your favorite podcatcher. We've loved his work for ages and we were so stoked to have him uh writing a story in the world of Alba. So yeah, you gotta hear this. It's called Enter the Brain Castle.

Quieter than a leopard, swifter than a Oh jeez. Well, hello, forbidden red cabinet that I'm never supposed to touch again. Just cause last time I released a lightning shooting murder moth, which could literally happen to anybody. Well the joke's on you, Alba,'cause guess what? I never changed back the password. Magnus is undervalued, said Forget cool knives. What I need is something that will help me achieve my long-term goal of being Farloria's greatest surgeon slash martial artist.

So move over, ominous goblet, and eerily humming pendant. I'm looking for Ooh What's this? Cerebrata. Geez, whose handwriting is this on the label? Focuses the mind, learned whole disciplines in days or hours. Yes, I'll be a surgeon by tomorrow night. Warning, take only in conjunction with a regimen of exercise, study, and medit Who has the time? Make me a genius at once, sweet elixir.

Hmm Even taste smart Wait, uh there's more words on the dosage one thimbleful per month. Any more is fatal within three minutes. Wow, I'm reading faster already Wait Like ninety percent sure it's fine. Eighty-two at least Sixty eight point nine three percent. No! I'm not gonna die. It's time to pay a visit to My brain castle! Hurry, thought winds, carry me to my brain castle, where I solve all my problems via symbolic interactions with the people in my life.

Hey, why is the port cullis closed? This is an emergency! Who goes there? Alpha? You guard the portcullis in my brain castle? Yes, magnet. I couldn't take being secretly intimidated by your genius any longer. So I retreated to this menial posting as self punishment. I love how realistically you're depicted here, but could ya you know, open up? I'm dying real soon and I need you to inspire me to find a last minute solution.

Why don't you reach out to Real Worldme for help, huh? It is my dream to be remembered as the woman who saved Magnus. No, I can't ask Real World, Alba. I'm in enough trouble already. Thanks, though. Anytime, your greatness. Truly the student has become the teacher. I swear this place is bigger now. Thank you, Cerebratal. All right, so what room would have the best solutions for you? Wait, the throne room, right? Because that's where I rule. Yes, I love logic. Magnus! Watch out! What?

Why is there another portcullis inside? Thank goodness you're alright. What would I do without you? Holly? Over these last weeks and months? I come to see you as a mentor. Oh I could totally tell. But do you know where the throne room went? I'm literally about to die. Why don't you just ask real world me for help? Because real world you is just gonna point and laugh as I perish in a cloud of smartness gas.

I need to get to the throne room. Of course. It's just across the moat. Yes, exactly. Wait, why is there a moat inside the castle? Shall I carry you across? You can do that! It's the least I can do after all you've taught me. Wait. Which way to the throne room? I don't feel... Ninety seven. Tell me something. Divan fleet? How could I let the finest outlaw in the land even better than me perish beneath his own portcullis? What is with all the portculluses in this castle?

Or is it Port Calais? That's easy. They represents your uncoming debt. Right, right, that got any brilliant ideas? Perhaps to stop seeking shortcuts and commit to a life of incremental improvement in collaboration with others? Nah doesn't sound right. Do you know where my throne room is? But of course, I'll drop kick you there now! Did you say dropkick? Ow, that dropkick really hurt. Or maybe it's the pain in my organs all dying at the same time. Throne room here I could!

That was one brutal landing. Actually, that's your body entering its final death rows. Alba? What are you? That's my throne! That's what happens when you drink more than the prescribed dose of cerebritol. It throws your brain into an unsustainable overdrive, causing your other organs to shut down in confusion. Like that. You jackass! Wait, you're a projection of my subconscious. Why am I being mean to me? Because I'm not actually saying any of this.

You're reading these words off a label. What label? The label on the jar of cerebritol that you never actually put down. I hid a message there and gradually appearing ink beneath the dosage warning, and that's what you've been reading. Wait wait. My brain castle! Where's it all going? Your so-called brain castle is a manifestation of your overactive mind on too much cerebritol! Fortunately, having anticipated your actions based on a long pattern of poor life choice.

I do feel less deathy. I hope this has taught you a lesson about rating the red cabinet like it's a cookie jar. I'll be by this evening to change the password for ever. Yeah. It's kinda like what Brain Alba and Brain Holly and Brain Guy Van Fleet said. If I had only just asked the people I know for help, if I made peace with a life of slow and steady improvement,

I'd be the biggest sucker ever. Forget that. Looks like I've got until tonight to find more cool stuff. Take your time, Alba. Ooh, I wonder what this gem does. Ow! Dang it!

Enter the Brain Castle was written by Mac Rogers and starred Julian Sarka's Magnus and Julian Sarka's Alba, Holly, and Guy Van Fleet. Passing thought. Memory. and salutations. Listener. As the scribe, beware, for you have been called. And others have prayed to forget. Join me now, that we may judge. Take a step. Find the nameless chronicles on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon, and your favorite streaming platform.

Our last story of the run is one that you might have heard if you're a Patreon backer. Uh we put out bonus material almost every week for all our patrons. And five dollar and up backers get bonus stories from Alba and the Onder Time and the Axe and Crown. Bonus stories like this one. It's called It'll All End in Tears. A tour de force, I'm told. Well we shall see. I hope we can at least put that wretched ballet from last season behind us. The music was bad enough, but the costumes say no more.

Yeah. Sorry, through. The human section is up there. I'm a fairial, have you no? Humanoid then. Who can tell all you little things apart? Look! Wings! Okay, maybe don't antagonize everyone in our row, Holly. And just letting anyone in now. Sad, isn't it? This looks like a good spot. All this fuss just to get a few dragon tears.

I bet I could make a dragon cry without having to sit through an opera. Who's being antagonizing now? I'm not. You always have to resort to violence. Who said anything about violence? Look, we just tell a couple dragons a sad story, collect their tears, and buzz off. Dragons almost never cry. Well this better be one sad freaking opera then. Oh, dragon opera is where they let all those feelings out. It's always so big and tragic and passionate and emotional.

And this show is supposed to be amazing. And Siga Kramabach, an audacious new work of theatrical magic. And we can say we saw it on opening night! You can say that. I'm gonna be over here sleeping. Agnes, don't you dare. You need to be ready with your pan. Help got me up at four this morning, and I've been riding on carts and wagons all day to get here.

My bruises have bruises. Also, I can come here to watch dragons stomp around and sing. But how amazing is that? Dragons stomping around singing for all-side culture!

Oh man. Four hours? This is a little different than I was expecting. Alright! This is more like it! Magnus! Run! Are you kidding? This right here is worth the trip! Yeah! Burn it all down! Woo! I'm getting out of here! Haha! You scared of a little dragon, Ryan? Yes, actually. Some people don't know how to have a good time. No! Hey! Put me down! My culture is a lot of fun! Holly? Magnus? Dragon Opera can suck it. I still can't feel my wings. What happened?

It was a brand new opera. Very controversial. It sounded like a herd of elephants decided to start an orchestra slash wrestling league. That's how it usually sounds. No, I I've heard Dragon Opera. This was Different. It was audacious and iconoclastic. You know, when those guys decide to have a riot, they don't mess around. Some people throw tomatoes, dragons throw forty pound pumpkins. And sides of beef. And fairies. And humans. So in other words, you didn't get any tears at all? Nope. None.

Except for this huge damn bottle What? That's That's nearly a pint. You're welcome. What's really in this bottle? Tears! Genuine dragon tears. See, after they burned down the amphitheater. So they what? Yeah, I mean you'd think dragons of all people would know how to make things fireproof. We found the soprano and the theater owner in the bar across the street getting drunk and crying their eyes out. They were

So heartbroken. Really? I wanted on record that I had nothing to do with any of the property damage that occurred. Alright, good work. Yay, go team. Ow. Ow. I'm gonna go lie down now.

It'll all end in tears was written by Eli Hamata McLean and starred Julian Sark as Magnus, Olivia John as Holly, Barbara Clifford as Alba, and special guests. Christy Bolton as the Dragon Opera Goer and the Dragon Soprano. The music was composed by Hedley Knights of Battlebird Productions, makers of We Fix Space Junk. Hooray. Find that on your favorite podcast app. Both of today's mini episodes were directed by Sean Howard with sound design by Eli Hamada McLean.

It for this series, but yeah, keep an eye out on this podcast feed or on our Twitter and our Patreon for news of Alba Salix season three. Meanwhile, take care of yourselves out there, be good to each other, and we'll talk to you soon. Bye for now. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish. Are you two still awake? We're too excited. You'll be tired at mock. And it's bigger than ever, so you really do need to sleep. Expansion Okay, okay. Yay. Place Mockery Manor.

Uh Mockery Rail. In farming? And are you bro? Right, the why It's the four Spurs battery! I can't wait to go to In Claytonville. Two parks in one and only$19.99 for a family of four. And how about you? Yeah, that's right. You listening to this. Are you ready to come back? To Mockery Matter? Season three. Available now. You're listening to a Sonic Cinema production. Drömmer du om en nymålad fasad? Eller kanske bara en nyåljad terras?

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