Old-Time Radio Essentials Episode 55: The Great Gildersleeve!

At IKEA, your dreams can come true. Well, maybe not the ones where you're being chased by a monster. We're talking about kitchen drinks. And there are IKEA products and solutions for all of them. Whether it's a whole new kitchen, a statement glassware set, or just new cutlery. If you got big dreams or small dreams in any size of budget, IKEA can help you bring them to life. Visit IKEA.us slash Dream Kitchen to learn more. Dream the possibilities.

The following audio drama is rated PG for parental guidance recommended. I'll skip ahead a bit. No, I can't skip ahead. All right, everybody, into the time machine. Take your hands out of my way! Take your hands out of my way! No, no, no, no! You don't understand how radio works! All I have to do to return us is fade my voice out like this and cue the organist. And you see, here we are. Wait a minute. 63 Audio presents the Old Time Radio Essentials Podcast.

Greetings all who gather here and welcome back to season five of Old Time Radio Essentials. If this is your first time joining us, and even if it ain't, I must inform you that this is episode 55, also known as our ninth and final episode of 2020. A.K.A. Episode 6 of Season 5. My name is Pete. I'm Pat. And this is Paul.

We are fans of old time radio, and if you're tuning in, you probably are too. We gather together occasionally, like today, to present and discuss an episode from a particular old time radio series. Is it indeed essential? That's what we hope to discover. Now, last time we presented my pick, which was an episode of ISIRTA, that's, I'm sorry, I'll read that again, from the BBC in 1964, in case you missed it. Today is Paul's choice. And what do you have for us today, Paul?

Or in the words of them fellers what used the CV radios, what you got for us in this here double nickel episode? Huh? Double nickel? That's CB slang for 55. Episode 55. Speed limit 55. Ah, I can't drive 55. Again, yes. And what's a CB radio? Skip it. What you got for us, Paul? Confusion? No, we got that. Yeah, as I was about to say before I was so rudely interrupted, this is December.

I thought we should do a Christmas-themed episode. So we have an installment from The Great Gildersleeve, which first aired Christmas Eve, 1944. The Great Gildersleeve was a radio situation comedy broadcast in the United States from 1941 to 1958 and was one of broadcast history's earliest spinoff programs. The series was built around Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve, a regular...

character from the radio situation comedy Fibber McGee and Molly. Actor Harold Perry played the character for most of its run, eventually replaced by Willard Waterman around 1950. In Fibber McGee and Molly, Perry's Gildersleeve had been a pompous windbag and an antagonist of Fibber McGee. You're a hard man, McGee, became a Gildersleeve catchphrase.

Gildy grew so popular that Kraft Foods, promoting its Parque Margarina, sponsored a new series featuring Perry's somewhat mallowed and always befuddled Gildersleeve as the head of his own family.

Why? So now, without further delay, we present The Great Gildersleeve, originally aired on NBC. Christmas Eve, December 24th, 1944. And now, friends, adjust your radio dials to the proper frequency, get comfortable, and listen. Kraft presents the Great Gildersleeve. Yeah.

Kraft Cheese Company, makers of parquet margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products, presents Harold Perry as the Great Gildersleeve. Kraft brings you the Great Gildersleeve every week at this time. Written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. Music by Claude Sweeten. We'll hear from the Great Gildersleeve in just a moment. During the holidays, you'll be greeting many old-time friends and acquaintances. And a real way to show your hospitality is to serve the foods they like.

So spread good cheer among your guests by serving fresh bread rolls and muffins with delicious parquet margarine. This nutritious spread for America's bread, a favorite in millions of American homes, has a fresh, delicate flavor that's sure to satisfy. Parquet margarine is a spread you'll want to serve your family every day in the year because parquet is so high in food energy value, so dependable for vitamin A.

In fact, Kraft guarantees every pound of Parquet to contain 9,000 units of vitamin A. So tomorrow, buy this nourishing spread that's so delicious and satisfying. Ask for Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine. Kraft makes this nutritious spread for America's bread. Yes, Kraft makes parquet.

How do we find the great Gildersleeve at this merry Christmas tide? Well, not so merry. While the rest of Summerfield is giddy with good feeling and holiday cheer, over the Gildersleeve household hangs a pall. The threat of a lawsuit. A suit for breach of promise by a lady he once admired, prosecuted by a friend he trusted. Oh, the infamy of woman, the ingratitude of man.

So heavily do they weigh upon him that he's been unable to give a single thought to Christmas, which is only two days off. This seems to be a matter of some concern to Leroy. What do you think he's planning to do, Marge? Just skip Christmas this year? He wouldn't do that. I don't know. Eat your breakfast, Leroy. Gosh, two days before Christmas and we haven't even got a tree. You don't think he's been buying a lot of stuff on the sly and hiding it someplace? Nah, I know all the hiding places.

Who wants Christmas anyway? It won't be any fun. Gosh, you're as bad as he is, Miss Gloomy Puss. Well, if you ever worried about anybody besides yourself, you'd be worried too. What good is it going to do to worry? She's going to sue him, she's going to sue him.

Leroy, here comes your uncle. Now let's all see if we can't cheer him up. Yes, let's. Don't do anything to annoy him, Leroy. Me annoy him? Are you kidding? Yep, as I was saying, it's only two days till Christmas. Now, Marge, only two days till Christmas. Oh, hi, Al. Oh, good morning, everybody. Good morning, Unky Darling. Mr. Gilsley, what would you like for breakfast? I'll pitch you anything you like.

We're in a position to offer fried eggs, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, poached eggs, shared eggs. What would you like? It better be eggs. I also got oatmeal. Well, it doesn't matter, Bertie, anything. A few prunes, maybe. Prunes? Is it like that? Yeah. Prunes and a little tea and toast. Things aren't sitting too well with me these days, Bertie. Poor Mr. Gil. Uncle, I'm sorry. Oh, don't mind me. Well, only two days till Christmas, hey, Uncle Leroy? Well, I'm only trying to cheer him up. Two days?

Is that all it is? Yep, two days. What do you know? I got all my Christmas shopping done, too. Great me. I got a present for everybody. I wonder what I'll be getting this year. Christmas. Well... I suppose it's time I was doing something about it. Only somehow I can't seem to get up any enthusiasm. Oh, don't let's bother about Christmas this year, Uncle Mort. We know how you feel. You're a very sweet girl, my dear, and very understanding. Me too.

I'm not asking for anything special this year. Anything at all will be okay. Any little thing. Anything. Front door. I'll go. It might be a pack. You sit down. It might not. Oh, good morning, Judge. Is Mr. Gildersleeve in, Bertie? Well, just a minute. I'll ask him. Judge Hooker, how can he have the nerve to come over here? Now, my dear. Mr. Gildersleeve, it's the judge out there. Shall I tell him you ain't in? No, Bertie. I might as well face it.

Well, children, I guess this is it. At least when this is over, we'll know the worst. Show the judge into my study, Bertie. Yes, sir. No, wait a minute. Yes? First, I think you children better run upstairs out of the way. Don't say anything, Uncle. Well, I will. If I see that Judge Hooker, I'll tell him exactly what I think of him. I'll handle the judge, my dear. I think you'd better run along upstairs. You too, Leroy. This may be a little unpleasant.

Now, Judge. Gildy, I suppose you think it a little strange of me coming over here like this. Nothing you could do would surprise me anymore, Judge. Nothing. And before you do it, I want to say this. You got me into all this. I know. You came over here and asked me to help you propose to that girl. I know. You gave me a lot of talk about how a friend should help a friend, how John Alden helped Miles Standish with Priscilla. I know, I know. Well, let me ask you this.

Did Priscilla turn around and sue John Alden? Did she? And did Standish help her? Well, I'm afraid the sad fact is, Gildy, that our little friend Dolores is no Priscilla. And you're no Miles Standish. Well, let her sue. Go ahead. Draw up the papers. Hire the witnesses. Brive the jury. I don't care. She can't hang anything on me. Can she?

Gildy, believe me, this whole episode has been most distasteful to me. Sure, sure, this hurts you more than it does me. Baloney, you'd sue your own grandmother. Oh, Gildy, I'm your friend, remember? All these years? Why, we... We played golf together. Never mind the crocodile tears. I mean it. Why, I cut off my right arm. You're left-handed. Well, I... I cut off both arms before I'd accept a case against my old friend. Oh, sure. Say that again, Judge. You didn't take the case?

You turned her down? Why, Gildy, she has no case. What do you know? No case. Woman's got no case. This isn't a trick, Judge. This isn't a booby trap. Oh, Gildy, how can you say that? You sure she's got no case? You think I'd have turned her down if she had? Horace, you're a friend. I want to take this opportunity of wishing you a very Merry Christmas. And a Merry Christmas to you, Throckmorton.

By George, it is a Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Horace. Merry Christmas, Gilded. Merry Christmas, everybody. Happy New Year. Mark, what's happening? Merry Christmas, my boy. Well, you woke up just... Christmas is only two days off, and the stores are closed on Sunday. Oh, my goodness, and I haven't done a thing about it. Uncle Morton, where are you going? Leroy, me lad. Bring me me reindeer.

Will there be anything else, sir? Isn't that cute? A regular little train. Will there be anything else? Well, let me see. We got the magic set, the wood-burning set, and the bomb sight, and the... Careful with that pop gun, Sonny. That will be all then? Let me think. Have I got enough for Marjorie? Marjorie's my niece. Say, I'd like to show you something I bought her.

I'd like to get your opinion. Do you mind? Oh, not at all. Doc Martin! Oh, there's a lady calling you. Ah, who? Doc Martin, of all people. Lila! Well, I was just showing this young lady here what I bought for Marjorie. This sweater. Oh, it's adorable. Pink. It's got buttons, too. You can wear them up the front or up the back, the girl said. Oh, she'll love it. Well, I'll be right back with your parcels.

Huh? Oh, thank you. Oh, it's so nice to see you again, Throckmorton. I could swear you've been hiding. Well, I'm... I'm back in circulation again, Lela. And by George, Lela, I've never seen you looking better. What? Thank you. Yes, sir. Christmas has put color in your cheeks or something and sparkle in your eyes. Oh, I love Christmas, don't you? It's the greatest day in the year, bar none. Say, how about coming over to my house tomorrow night, Christmas Eve? We'll celebrate.

Just the family. You know, popcorn, candied apples and stuff. I'm getting in a whole ton of mistletoe. Watch rock, Martin, whatever fall. Yeah. Bye, George. If there's any of it around here, I'd show you what for. Here are your parcels, sir. Oh, thanks, miss. Well, got to be going. A million things to do. Don't forget tomorrow night, Leela. Come early. We'll have more fun and more down mistletoe.

Greetings, Floyd. Greetings of the season. Well, if it ain't Father Christmas. Hiya, Commissioner. Come right in. I can't stay, Floyd. I'm in the midst of my Christmas shopping. Yeah, well, I ain't even got a round of mine. Keep putting it off, you know what I mean? Got nobody to take care of but the wife anyway.

Well, Christmas comes once a year, Floyd. I think we ought to make... Oh, not that I'm complaining, you understand. She's okay, Ruthie is. Just got her little ways, that's all. Now, you take like last year. I was sore about something, I forget what. So I wasn't going to get her nothing.

Well, sir, the day before Christmas, didn't a Salvation Army band have to set up in front of the shop here and play hymns all afternoon? On the way home that night, I laid out 11 bucks for an electric iron. Of course, the next day, I could have kicked myself.

That's the trouble with me. I'm soft-hearted. Floyd, the only trouble with you is you're human. I wouldn't be ashamed of it. By the way, if you're not doing anything tomorrow night, I'd like to have you drop over to my house. You know, say Merry Christmas. Just the family. Well, thanks, Commissioner. I'd like to do that. Glad to be on my way now. Don't forget your wife, Floyd.

Get her something nice. You know, women are sentimental about Christmas. Well, I guess I'm kind of sentimental myself. Like this morning now. She got up before I did and cooked me a nice big breakfast at Kip at Herring's.

You know, on the way down to the shop, I had half a notion to stop in somewhere and buy her a bottle of perfume. I might do it yet. Oh, I think she'd like that, Floyd. Yeah, I might even buy her one of them sets, you know, where they got the perfume and the bath powder and the... Oh, there I go again. Just a sucker for kippers. Well, so long, Commissioner. So long, Floyd.

What are you doing Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve? Well, Mrs. Peavy and I usually just spend Christmas Eve together, you know. Sort of a family custom. Well, I don't want to upset any family customs, Peavy. I just thought if you weren't doing anything... Well, we don't do anything, really. We just sit there and listen to the radio.

We like to hear the Christmas programs, and we usually go through our Christmas cards together. You know, all the friends who've been kind enough to remember us. People we haven't seen for a long time, a lot of them. Mrs. Peavy has a little drink she makes. Mulled cider. It's very good. That's about all we do. Not very exciting, but it's kind of nice. And along about 10 o'clock, we just hang up our stockings and go to bed.

Peavy, you still hang up your stockings? Oh, yes. Yeah, but who fills them? Mr. Gellersleeve, who do you think fills them? Peavy, you're not going to tell me you hear jingle bells in the night. Well, no. Wouldn't say that, no. No, I wait until after Mrs. Peavy's asleep and then I sneak downstairs and fill her stock in my cell.

And she gets up before I'm awake in the morning and fills mine. It's just a little game we play. Bye, George Peavy. I'll bet you have more fun than anybody. Well, now, I... I don't know. Maybe I do. Well, try to come around to the house if you can, Peavy. We'll be glad to see you.

Oh, Steve, anybody pick you as the American Express. There they go. Oh, my goodness, all them packages. Well, I got them home anyway. I'll pick them up. Mr. Gillespie, it sure looks like Christmas around here all of a sudden. Quiet, Bertie. I don't want the children to hear. That's why I came around to the kitchen door. Yes, sir. I won't tell. Well, I think I got everything. If I didn't, it's just too bad. Sure looks like you've got plenty. Oh, wait a minute.

What? Oh, my goodness, why didn't I remember? Of all things, why did I have to forget that? Forget what? Oh, that spoils everything. What good is Christmas without a turkey? No turkey, Mr. Gilsey. No turkey. I clean forgot it, Bertie. That was the last thing I said to myself. Get a turkey. Darn it.

Well, I tell you, Mr. Gillespie, tell you what you do. There's nothing we can do, Bertie. The stores are closed. It's too late. You go look in the icebox. What? In the icebox? Uh-huh. Bertie, how long has he been laying there? Oh, for a couple of days, I had him sent over on approval. How's that for a turkey, Mr. Gildersleeve? Bertie, that's not a turkey. That's a B-29. And when you get that Bombay stuffed with chestnut dressing, oh, brother, Merry Christmas.

The great Gildersleeve will be with us again in just a few seconds. If Christmas shopping has made a big dent in your family budget, you're probably thinking right now of ways to economize. Well, that economy can start right with your food budget. And here's a timely suggestion. Buy economical parquet margarine, the delicious spread for bread that's made by Kraft. Parquet is a top-notch energy food, one of the very best. Parquet is fortified by Kraft with vitamin A, 9,000 units to every pound.

And Parquet has a flavor that's truly delicious. A flavor that's fresh, delicate, satisfying. So for an economical spread that's both delicious and highly nourishing, buy and serve Parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine. Made by Kraft. Remember to ask for the Kraft quality spread. And that's parquet.

Now let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. It's Christmas Eve at last in Summerfield, and it couldn't be a prettier one. There's a beautiful, clean blanket of snow covering the streets and sidewalks and yards and roofs, and a few flakes still drifting down in the twilight.

And in Gildersleeve's house, the family has just finished decorating the Christmas tree, and they've hung their stockings by the fireplace. A neat black sock for Gildersleeve, a pale rayon stocking for Marjorie, and a huge laundry bag of a golf stocking that Leroy had borrowed for the occasion.

Well, well, well. Looks Christmassy, doesn't it? Oh, it's sweet. The tree always smells so good, too. Yeah. Could I eat one of the candy canes, Uncle? You know the rule, my boy. No nibbling on candy canes left to breakfast Christmas morning.

Start eating them now. We'll have no decorations left. I could just take a little bite off one at the back. Who'd notice? Let's stick to our rules, shall we? Okay. We got gingerbread for supper anyway. Great. Bye, George. You can't beat Christmas. The old Christmas spirit.

You can feel it in the air. Oh, I felt it all afternoon. It does something to people. It certainly does. Happy little family. Stockings all hung by the chimney with care. Hi, George. Let's read that. What do you say? Oh, that's... Kid stuff. That's right. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. Is the book still over here with the fairy tales? That's where it belongs. Now, Lee. Be nice. If Uncle Mort wants to read it, let's not spoil it for him. Oh, for corn sake, he reads it every year.

Never mind. Shut up and be nice. Okay, I can be just as nice as you. Ah, here it is. Same old book, same old pictures. Fellow wearing a nightcap. That shows how old this book is. Now sit down, Leroy, Marjorie. Just about got time to read this before supper. All settled? I'm fine. Leroy? Shoot the bunk to me, Uncle. All right, my boy. It was the night before Christmas, but all through the house...

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stocky... Oh, excuse me, I just thought of something. What is it, my boy? If you couldn't get those skates at Hogan's, they're a pair down at Hoyt's. They're open till 10 o'clock. Oh, well, I'll make a note of it. Yeah, let's see.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds. That's you and Marjorie, Leroy. While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. Sugar plums. Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap. That's the night cap. Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter.

Seriously? What is it, Bertie? I forgot to ask you. Are you expecting anyone in this evening? Oh, no, Bertie. Just the family. Yes, sir. I just thought I'd ask. Now I think of it, I asked Mrs. Ransom to drop over after supper. Yes, sir. Oh, and I may have said something to Judge Hooker. And...

Miss Goodwin. Well, I'm glad I brung it up. I guess it'll be the usual Christmas Eve. Well, Christmas comes, but once a year, Brady. Now, let's see. Where were we? Oh, yes. Out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow gave the luster of midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. By George, that's real poetry.

With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. That's Santa Claus, children. Of course. Who doesn't know that? Go ahead, Uncle. More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name. Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen, on Comet, on Cupid, on Dunder and Blitzen. To the top of the...

Oh, the phone. I'll get it. Hello? Oh, just a minute. It's Piggy, Leroy. Tell him I can't talk to him now. I'm busy. Go ahead, Unc. He'll call you back, Piggy. All right, Uncle Mort. Let's see. To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall. Now dash away, dash away, dash away off. Yeah, that's right. And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hook. Uh-oh, there's a page been lost here.

That's okay. As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bong. Well... A bundle of toys he had flung in his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry, his cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry. was drawn up like a bow and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. The stump of his pipe... That's the next page.

The stump of his pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke had encircled his head like a wreath. He had a droll face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. Just like you, Unc. Well, you think so? Look, Marge, see it shake? No more than anybody else's. Yeah, thank you, my dear. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

and laying his finger aside of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney, he rose. Be there in a second, Bertie. He sprang to his sleigh, to his team, gave a whistle, and away they all flew at the down of a thistle. But I heard him explain every road out of sight, Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night. Well, bye, George. That's a great book. None better. Oh, I love it. What do you say, Leroy? Well...

Great for kids. Well, come on, kids. Let's eat. Let's all go, my boy. United we stand. Come on, Margie. I'm coming. How late can we stay up, Unc? As long as you're good, Leroy. Until 9 o'clock, whichever is sooner.

Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas. Come on in, Leela. I'd better leave my galoshes here on the porch. They're pretty snowy. You want me to hold those packages, Mrs. Lantham? Well, now, that's very thoughtful of you, Leroy. But no peeking now, you hear? One of those is for you. For me? Mm-hmm. Gee, thanks. No shaking it either, Leroy. Okay.

Come on in, Leela. Thank you. Now, this package is for you, Marjorie. Oh, thank you. And this one's yours, Leroy. That's what I figured. And the other one is for you, Throckmorton. Why, Leela, for me? Thank you. I got something for you, too, Leela. Come here. Well, I can take it later. Put these packages under the tree, children. I want to show Mrs. Ransom something. Okay. Come on, Larger. Let's put them in piles. Be careful with mine. Right here, Leela. Quiet.

Look up. Oh, sorry. You devil. You put it in a different place from last year. Leela, I've got it everywhere. There isn't a spot in the whole house where you'll be safe. Rock Martin, you are simply terrible. Hey, what's going on here? Come over here and I'll show you, Leroy, dear. Oh, no, you...

Do I get beside her in donuts, Uncle? I think it's a little early. You just finished stuffing in that last piece of gingerbread not five minutes ago. Okay. Here, take Mrs. Ransom's coat and hang it up. Oh, my. You'll soon have a cry. The more, the merrier. I'll answer it, Uncle Morris. No, no, all of us. United we stand. Come on, Leela. Come on, Leroy. Here I come. When I open the door, we'll all say Merry Christmas all together. Ready? Merry Christmas! My goodness gracious.

Come on in, Peavy. Oh, thank you, Mr. Gillespie, but I can't stay. Oh, good evening, Mr. Ramsey. Oh, do come in for a minute, Mr. Peavy. You ought to see the tree anyway. Well, just for a moment. A little Christmas remembrance for your family, Mr. Gildersleeve. A box of chocolates, my best grade. Well, that's fine, Peavy, but you shouldn't have told us. No surprise.

Yeah, pretty hard to fool anybody with chocolate. Let's open them. What do you say, Unc? As long as we know what they are. Leroy, you amaze me. You must be 90% stomach. Look who's talking. Leroy. How about the chocolates? They're not getting any better in the box, are they, Mr. Peavy? I think I'll stay out of this, Leroy, if you don't mind. Mr. Peavy's pretty cagey. Go ahead and open them, Leroy, but only one piece for you, understand? Okay, I'll...

Mr. Peavy, won't you? What is it? The tree? Something even nicer. Look. Well, I... Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Leela, you ought to be ashamed of yourself brazenly kissing a married man. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. I'm quite able to defend myself, Mr. Gilders. That's the spirit, Peavy. I noticed he offered there a little resistance. Well, I... My gracious, I don't know what to say. There's somebody else on. Come on, Leroy. Marjorie, united we stand. Peavy, just like we did for you.

All together when I open the door. Merry Christmas! Well... We were doing that to everybody, Eve. Come on in. Well, this is wonderful. Hello, Mrs. Ransom, Mr. Peavy. It's awfully nice to see you, Miss Goodwin. Compliments of your season, Miss Goodwin. Thank you. Hello, Leroy, Marjorie. Hi. Let me hang up your coat. Thank you. Now, we're into the parlor, everybody. We'll have some fun. Oh, wait a minute.

I know, Peavy, but you can at least see the tree. Go on, look at it. Come here a minute, Eve. What is it? I haven't... Oh, Doc Morton, I might have known. Yeah. Oh, she sees everything. Come on, Tark Morton, let's join the others. I've got little presents for the children, but I thought I could bring them over tomorrow. Anytime.

have a vacation for a change, isn't this good one? Are you enjoying it, too, Leroy? Are you kidding? Must be kind of nice to be a schoolteacher, though, sometimes. Just like having a lot of children. It is nice. You know, I wish Mrs. Peavy could have come over with me. This is the kind of Christmas we miss, Mr. Gildersleeve. Why don't you go get her, Peavy? No, I don't think so. Maybe next year. Oh, we'd love to have her. Maybe we...

Hey, what's that? Somebody's singing outside. Oh, look, it's the Jolly Boys. Oh, they sure need us people. Oh, brother. Thank you.

Merry Christmas, Charlie boys. Come on in, fellas. Hey, you're in great voice tonight, Judge. Well, gee, nice to have a friendly visit from the police. Well, thank you, Commissioner. Come on in, Floyd. You're letting in the cold. Come on, come on, come on, Floyd. Don't stand out there so long. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, fellas. Hey, mistletoe. Oh, look, there's some more over there and in the corner. Commissioner, you got enough mistletoe here to start a first-class brawl.

Let me catch you kissing my girl now, Floyd. Okay, which one is yours? Whichever one, I catch you kissing. I fell. Well, who's going to play the piano for the next carol? I'll play if you want me to. Oh, that'll be fine, lady. Oh, Chief, this is Miss Goodwin.

Chief Gates of the Summerfield Police. Pleased to meet you, ma'am. How do you do? Where's that cider you're talking about, Gilday? It's in the dining room, but let's sing one carol first. Which will it be? How about Joy to the World? Joy to the World's a pitless eyes. I can sing alcohol. Oh, I like that one. I'll just sing the air. Good enough. Joy to the World, boys.

Hey, you got it there, Eve? Yes, I do. Come on, Marjorie. You get in on this too, Bertie. By George, it's nothing like Christmas. Joy to the world. Let every heart prepare Him rule, and heaven and nature sing, and heaven and nature sing, and heaven...

Heaven and nature sing. Second verse. Now, wait a minute. I've got an idea. What is it? Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone in the world could join in and sing with us? What are you talking about, Commissioner? Well, I know we can't really do it. Not tonight anyway.

But if you look and see how happy we all are here singing together, and you think of all the people who can't get together this Christmas, well, the only excuse for the kind of suffering that's going on all over the world is if we can make sure it never happens again. What I'm trying to say is, let's all sing anyway. You people in Massachusetts, Virginia, Idaho, Iowa, Colorado, California, and everywhere in army camps and on ships at sea. Let's sing the way we used to.

when we were at home together. Let's hope that before so very long, all the peoples of the world will be able to join in with us. Good night, ladies and gentlemen. Merry Christmas, and God bless you. This is the National Broadcasting Company. I guess that's it.

And we're back with Old Time Radio Essentials. This is Pete with Paul and Pat, and that was an episode of The Great Gildersleeve from NBC in 1944. And now, Paul, since this was your pick... Please tell us why you chose this particular episode. Well, first, I've always liked The Great Gilded Sleeve, and I'm kind of surprised we haven't done them up until now.

This was a good episode because he's kind of up against the wall at the beginning and then he gets to cut loose with getting all the Christmas stuff. So he's squeezing all that in there and rushing around and it's just a fun time and you get a good cross. section of all the characters that are involved in the show and a good representation of what their characters are like.

It's just a fun show, and I always liked The Great Gildersleeve. And what can I say? It was a very good episode. Just kind of nice cross-section of... Americana for 1944, especially towards the end when he's bringing up about, you know, let's sing this song, what did he say, for everyone who can't be with their families right now. And so...

You know, Pete and I being ex-military, we can understand that, but we weren't in that kind of a hash. But just good to hear that being said for the people out there. And it was a very enjoyable episode. I mean... I've listened to plenty of Gildersleeve, and yes, this is a very good representation, and I enjoyed it. That's the reason why I picked it, because it was a good episode.

Now, I have a confession to make. I have not listened to very many episodes of Gildersleeve. I don't know why. I love Fibber McGee and Molly, and I've heard some of the episodes where he was... a character on the show but it just there was something about the overall character gildersleeve himself that made me kind of annoyed so i just avoided the show and but i did enjoy this and and

I was in a Project Audion episode of Great Gildersleeve a few months ago where Trevor Rhines played Gildy and we had, I think a woman was playing Tetley. No, I was playing Tetley. Tetley character for some reason. Wow. So imagine me trying to play. You must have had very tight pants on. Imagine me trying to play Walter Tetley. But that's what I was cast in. So I just did it way up like this. But I thought that that was a pretty good episode. And then this one itself.

Like Paul said, it's very touching in places, very funny in places. I particularly like the same thing at the end where he invited everybody to sing along. And that's reminiscent of the Bing Crosby. Christmas specials, where they would sing Odeste Fidelis in English, and he called it In the Family Key.

And then the audience would sing in and he invited everybody in the world who was listening to sing along. I spent many Christmases away from home while I was serving in the Navy. And a particular poignant one was... uh in the 80s when i was way way across in the indian ocean and i had received presents uh in the mail from family members and my girlfriend at the time that i actually held on to

until Christmas morning, didn't it? And so it was kind of nice to have that going on, a little taste of home there. So overall... It was a nifty insight into Gildersleeve for me, the different characters. I recognize, of course, Walter Tetley's voice. I recognize Arthur Q. Bryan, who was Elmer Fudd in the Warner Brothers cartoons. And then you always heard on the Warner Brothers cartoons, somebody saying, now I wouldn't say that.

I didn't realize that that came from Gildersleeve because those cartoons, as we've discussed... There were all kinds of topical lines in those cartoons. Many times in the past we've discussed how radio influenced... other media, especially cartoons, and especially Warner Brothers cartoons, because you'd hear Bugs Bunny saying, that you, Mert?

How's every little thing, which comes from Fibber McGee and Molly. And here, well, I've heard Bugs Bunny do it exactly the same way this character. Well, I wouldn't say that.

So it's interesting how radio was such an influence. So I like this a lot. I thought when they were doing the... visit from St. Nicholas Pullum that there's a page missing so the other two and the kids know it which was very funny and probably people listening in at home they were probably doing the same thing because I was But, you know, Walter Tetley played a character in the Phil Harris Alice Faye show, and he was pretty...

Julius. Julius, right. And he was the worst and rough and a smart aleck. But here in the Gildersleeve, he's a little sweeter and nicer. He still has his moments. Yeah, and this was pretty supportive of... Uncle Mort, as they called him, which is pretty cool. So I thought it was good. I enjoyed it a lot. So thanks for bringing us this one, Paulie. You're welcome.

All right. Pat, how about you? Well, at first listen... You know, modern sensibility, you think, oh, this is kind of hokey. And then you realize, oh, wait a minute, this was wartime. The war had been dragging on. I mean, yeah, the U.S. joined. late in it. So you know people desperately needed this homespun sweetness, the elements of the family, all that stuff. It was so desperately needed. Just listening to it, hearing the characters, recognizing some of the voice performers.

You know, the way it comes together as well, like the story arc of Gildy being sued for breach of promise, that had started several episodes earlier. So you did have story arcs running through the whole series. It is sort of a deus ex machina, you know, just where, okay, no, she doesn't have a case. Okay, fine. Now looking ahead, the next few episodes, yeah, it does become an issue again.

But for now, it's just, nope, nope, she doesn't have a case. There's nothing. You're fine. And then he's happy and he goes and deals with Christmas. I think it's really telling that Leroy at first does not want to listen to the reading of that poem. It's for little kids. It's hokey. But he gets right into it. And even when his friend Piggy calls.

He says, tell him I'll call him back later. So he's right into it. Some of the character voices I find, they are kind of cartoony, like Gildy is a bit cartoony. Leroy's a bit cartoony. Lila Ransom is really cartoony. With the kind of odd speech impediment. Like her lower dentures don't quite fit.

And I think audiences back then had really filthy minds, too, because hearing the laughter at the jokes about where he's put them in the mistletoe. Right. You know, and oh, I've got it all over the place. Not I put it all over. I got it all over the place. And, oh, you never had it there before.

And the laughter from the studio audience tells me, you've got dirty minded people there. You really do. It is not just a sweet innocent. There's something dirty in that. Also, you'll notice at the very end, the. actor Hal Perry says something like, I think we're done now. Just before the chimes come on. Yeah. That was so weird. Oops.

That stayed in. That was just very unusual. Well, you know, it was being transcribed as it went out over the air, so there's nothing really you can do about it. He was just... Listening to him there and younger people might remember him because he went on to do TV commercials. He did commercials for Faygo starting in the 60s and going into the early 70s. In the 70s, he voiced the town crier in a series of animated commercials for Kleenex tissues. He was even in a commercial.

for Charmin, toilet paper. He comes in and he's greeted as the mayor. So it's in joke, those of us who know that, yeah, he was originally Mr. Mayor on Febber McGee and Molly, so. You know, it's little in-jokes like that. So he was in a commercial with Mr. Whipple for Charmin? Yep. Yep. Okay.

yeah and he was the man in the fago commercials um which was a soft drink for those of us yeah regional thing like detroit area i think um we didn't have it here not in canada you know we do also have to talk a bit about the history where he wound up being replaced on the Great Gildersleeve because he was talked into leaving NBC for CBS and he signed the contracts.

without clearing it with the sponsor first. And Kraft said, no, we're not letting you switch networks. No way. So he's on the hook to do a comedy series on CBS. But meanwhile, he cannot use the character. He cannot use the actors. He can't do any of the Gildersleeve stuff. He cannot do that. So they try to do something sort of like, but with different names.

Yeah, it only lasted a year or so. It just didn't work. And Gildersleeve did wind up for, I think, one season on TV, but it didn't quite work. I did actually listen to the very first episode of Gildersleeve just to try and compare stuff. And in that one, he owns a corset company, Gildersleeve's girdles. He catches the train and has a run in with a nasty old man who turns out to be Judge Hooker, who is the judge who is overseeing the court case where Gildy adopts his niece and nephew.

I don't think it's mentioned on the show, but their parents were killed in a car accident, so that's why he's doing this. And in the beginning of the series, yeah, he and Hooker were really... antagonistic towards each other but then as the series went on they got different writers including joss whedon's grandfather and then the characters became more friendly to each other interesting

Yeah, because I guess there's only so far you can go if they're really at each other's throats. You want more layers to it, more development. Also, in the beginning, Bertie was not that bright. And then as the series went on... it became clear she's actually the real brains running the household.

So it's kind of neat seeing it. Yeah, it's kind of neat seeing it develop that way. And, you know, a lot of us, maybe the first time we saw Lillian Randolph was in It's a Wonderful Life. Of course, she played the housekeeper. And the character is very similar to the way Bertie was, so it works out that way. But yeah, it was fun and it was sweet. And yes, you do have to suspend your modern cynicism in that and try to listen to it.

as if you are a person back when it first aired. The world is in chaos with this world war. Your loved ones are far away. You're dealing with rationing and all this nonsense at home. It's just... I mean, whatever it was here in North America, it was way worse over in Europe where the war was actually raging. And way over in the Pacific as well. I don't care much about the history of when this war was fought or who was the king or who led this army. I want to know about day-to-day life.

What did they eat? What was life like? What was rationing like in wartime? I mean, my dad grew up on a small produce farm, so they never had an issue with getting produce. They had their own cow and calf. Things were different then, you know.

You do what you must on the farm. My dad remembered rationing coupons. Gildersleeve, even like a lot of shows at the time, they dealt with issues like that. I do remember an episode where one of the characters was complaining about... rationing coupons for you know for tires and stuff like that and no no no you're not

We're not rationing rubber. We're not rationing gasoline. We're rationing miles because miles means wear and tear on this stuff. It means using more gasoline, which needs to be used in war production, needs to be used. for the military to power their vehicles and such, just the way it was discussed that way.

They believed that the function of broadcasting was to entertain, but also to serve the public. But they did have a purpose. It was entertaining and educating. And generally, you get the message across better if people are entertained and engaged. And God, I hope they... are when they listen to us. I don't think they're ever bored. No, no, not bored. Anything else? No, it was just quite charming.

And to me, another history lesson and just really sweet. Okay, great. Well, let's vote. What are we voting on, dear listener? As a reminder, we are voting on A, whether this particular episode is a true representative installment of the overall series, and two, whether or not it is a true essential, a standalone show that belongs in every radio official. collection. And again, Paul, since this was your selection, you go first. Okay, I will. Are you awake? I enjoyed the show a lot.

I said it was a nice slice of Americana at that time. And I listened to enough episodes of Gildersleeve to where I do think it fits in just fine with the rest of the Gildersleeve. Canon. God, I hate that term. And it was just very entertaining. The one thing I did notice, though, at the end, when they're singing Joy to the World and he mentions about the guys that can't be at home with their family, did you notice?

Is it just me? Because I listened to it a few times and I'm like, he doesn't actually mention the war. And he mentions the several states where there's army bases. But he doesn't say. You know, our guy's at war. Don't mention the war. Or overseas, even. Yeah. He has mentioned states and where there are army bases and why they can't be at home with their families now. I'm like...

And I'm looking at the date going, oh, things are still going on then. So I was just kind of curious why they phrased it that particular way. It might have been just to really not mention it directly. Just because that would be too upsetting. Just say, you know, they're at army bases, they're training and, you know, people who can't be there. And I think they didn't want to actually say it outright or maybe in case there were spies listening.

You know, that you don't want any enemy agents. Didn't know that there was a war going on. Everyone knew we were at war. By 44, it wasn't a secret. If it's such an issue that even Christmas shows on the radio, Christmas comedy shows, they're talking about the war, the war. whereas yeah they're sort of mentioning the troubles over there you know it's like ireland talking about the troubles you don't say what it actually is not the troubles yeah like downplay it

You downplay it, yeah. That's probably why. Don't mention the war. Yeah, it's probably that way. Like, they don't want to mention it so overtly. Possible. Anyhow, I enjoyed it. I think it's a good representation. And I think it's a good standalone. Next. Okay. Now, not having the same experience, lengthy experience of listening to Gildersleeve, I can't say...

Yes, that it's a representative installment, but I liked it enough that I think it belongs in the collection of people who collect Christmas shows from old-time radios. Very... It's very good. It's very heartfelt. It's got that wonderful mix of schmaltz and sentiment and comedy that it doesn't matter if you've never listened to any other episodes, you get a...

Paul said it early on, that it's a good cross-section of the characters in the show, that you get an idea of who they are, what they're like, and then they all come over. Each one gets a nice showcase, like the guy who just sits at home with his wife. And then they go and they fill the stockings later on. When he came over by himself, it's like...

What I liked about that was he said, no, no, no, maybe next year. That got a chuckle. The next line from somebody else came right on the heels of that, but I heard enough people chuckling when he said maybe next year. It was like... Yeah, that's really good. It's like a running gag, too. You never get to actually hear that character. I think in later years, there was one episode where she said one word.

And that was it. It's a character that's talked about but never heard or never seen. What was the other one like that? Wasn't it Sweetie Pie? Yeah, Mr. Wimple in Molly, you never see his big old wife. Yeah, you never see Duffy. Duffy's never there. Daughter's there, but not Duffy. Yeah, Duffy's never there. Duffy ain't here. Oh, hello, Duffy. Okay, so...

I'm very much in favor of this for Radio Aficionados collection. I enjoyed it, and that's all I have to say about that. Pat, keep it short. I am unanimous in this. Okay. Short enough. Okay. I agree with them, what they said. Yep. Bye, Tundra and Jesus. Bye, Tundra and Jesus. That's about as short as I can make it.

Now I'm thinking of the two old guys that do the criticizing on the Muppets. Statler and Maldorf, yeah. Yeah, from the Muppet Christmas Carol. Yep. When Fozzie does his speech, it was short. Yeah, but yes, what they said, and I am unanimous in this, as are we three. She's unanimous all by herself. Suddenly she's Mrs. Slocum. Yes. My pussy is right over here beside me. I'm reticent. Oh, yes. I'm reticent. All right. Okay. So, Paul, take it.

Well, folks, this brings us to an end of episode 55. Or if you live in a parallel universe, episode 6 of season 5 with Pat Rosebank. Pete Lutz, and me, Paul RBC. Next go around will be Pete's Pick. And what show will you be bringing us, Pete? Well, I'm very happy to let you know that I'll have another guest with us next time who is a fellow podcaster with an old-time radio theme. His name is John Tefteller, and his show is called The Good Old Days of Radio. John is a very interesting man.

who, among other things, as a younger man, knew Groucho Marx personally, and at some point started collecting original recordings of old radio shows. His collection is ever-growing, and numbers probably in the tens, if not hundreds of thousands. Anyway, since he is a Marxian scholar as well, I asked him to bring us an episode of You Bet Your Life, Groucho's long-running quiz show. Ooh, sounds great, Pete. Oh.

And one other thing, Mr. Tefteller will be joining us in late January, but he's given me permission to share a different program, one that was made as a standalone show honoring Walt Disney. And I'd like to get together with the two of you in early January. present that show to our listeners kind of a teaser and just discuss it afterwards without applying our usual criteria. Are you game? I'm game. I'm free. Splendid. Sorry.

I think you and our listeners will just love it. I listened to it the other day. It's never been heard. He found it. He found the recording. And it's... It wasn't a series. It was a standalone show honoring Walt Disney for his 10th anniversary, believe it or not, as an animator. And it's got guest star Donald Duck. And Mickey Mouse. Clarence Ducky Nash. Yeah. And Walt probably voice in Mickey. And Snow White and so on. It's just wonderful. And he gave me permission to.

to put it out on our feed so that more people will get a chance to listen to it. And it'll also be a nice introduction to Mr. Tefteller himself. So good. Well, I think you and our listeners will love it. And now... Paul, Pat, tell the masses what they need to know. Old Time Radio Essentials is a production of 63 Audio, a proud member of the Mutual Audio Network. Subscribe on any podcatcher you may use by searching under Mutual Audio Network, Narada Radio Company, and Moonlight Audio Theater.

We love hearing from listeners. So if you're a listener and if you have feedback or a suggestion for a future episode, write to us at f6.3 at gmail.com. If we take your suggestion, you'll get some nifty Narada swag. We don't have a Patreon. We don't ask for any money. It wouldn't hurt, but just your time in your ears.

feedback is one of the only ways we can tell if you're listening, listening, listening. So be sure to drop us a line and thanks. Now, before we close, do either of you have any projects coming up that you'd like to plug?

I'm featured in the current issue of Spurred Back Radiogram. Yay! Yay! Yeah. There's some pictures of me as a couple of characters, as my Olga Yukchuksky, Kapustyan Poet Laureate character. International costume. I knew she was going to say that. Yeah, international costume. And also voicing a bunch of different oddball characters in the recording studio. Nice. Well, congratulations on that.

Thank you. I'm a member of SpurredVac myself, so I look forward to seeing that issue. Okay, Paul, nothing for you? You got nothing going on? Nothing currently. I think you're far enough out to where I can mention it the next time. Okay. All right. Well, I'll be looking for that episode of the SpurdVac magazine. Radiogram. Radiogram. Thanks. And a pound for your radiogram.

Now, let's wrap things up and vamonos. Hey, thanks, Pat. Thanks, Pauly. Happy holidays to all of you. Merry Christmas. Hope you had a happy Hanukkah and season's greetings. And please, dear listener, join us in the new year, won't you, for another fun installment of... Full-time radio essentials. Bye-bye for now. Bye. Thank you. Wait a minute. 63 audio.

The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in more places that could expose you more to identity theft. But LifeLock monitors millions of data points per second. If your identity is stolen, our US-based restoration specialists will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Don't face drained accounts, fraudulent loans, or financial losses alone. Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry with LifeLock. you.