Old-Time Radio Essentials Episode 46 - podcast episode cover

Old-Time Radio Essentials Episode 46

Dec 22, 202459 minSeason 6Ep. 133
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Episode description

Old-Time Radio Essentials' fourth season continues with our annual Christmas Special, which is Paul's pick, an episode of "The Mel Blanc Show", a CBS Radio sitcom that aired in the 1946-47 season. Will co-hosts Patte and Pete love Mel's characterization? Or will they charge CBS with gross dereliction of Zookie? TUNE IN AND FIND OUT! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Sit in quietly once you've made the house all shiny. Downtime can be just fine playing bangers from the 90s. Tea break. Lunch break. Maybe listen to the earth break. Sometimes it's not time for some tombola, right? It's enjoying lasagna time, chilling with a book time, or time to visit your nan time. Go on, play some other time. Put your phone down. Tombola. Open for fun. Terms apply. 18 plus. GambleAware.org. It's the Sunday Showcase on the Mutual Audio Network.

The following audio drama is rated G for general audiences. I'll skip ahead a bit. No, I can't skip ahead. All right, everybody, into the time machine. understand how radio works. All I have to do to return this is fade my voice out like this and cue the organist. And you see, here we are. Wait a minute. The Old Time Radio Essentials Podcast Christmas Special. Don't you swing them jingles, son! Oh, boy. I wonder what it is. I hope you like it, Paul. Oh, it's a... Gee, it's...

It's an antique fountain pen. Yeah. Cool. Okay, wait till I open mine. You're so hard to buy for, Pete, but I think you're going to like this. Wow. Hey, will you look at this? It's, um, it's... It's the original Super Mario Brothers game from 1985. Wow! Thanks, Pat. It's awesome. Are you going to open yours from us? Oh, I'd rather wait till Christmas Day. I'll just put it under the tree right over here. There.

Alrighty. And don't worry about the ticking sound. It doesn't mean nothing. Paulie, want to trade? Sure. Yeah, bro. Greetings, all who gather here, and welcome back to Season 4 of Old Time Radio Essentials. If this is your first time joining us, and even if it isn't, I must inform you that this is Episode 46. also known as our sixth and final episode of 2024, a.k.a. Episode 9 of Season 4. My name is Pat.

I'm Paul. And this is Pete. We are fans of old-time radio, and if you're tuning in, you probably are too. We gather together occasionally. like today, to present an episode from a particular old-time radio series. Is it indeed essential? Well, that's what we hope to discover. Last time we presented my pick, which was an episode of Fountain of Fun from 1942 called Turkey Rationed, in case you missed it. Today is Paul's choice, and what is hanging on the tree for us today, Paul?

Well, in accord with the holiday season, we're celebrating an old-time radio Christmas with an episode of The Mel Blank Show, which first aired Christmas Eve. 1946 on CBS Radio. Mel Blanc's popularity on the Jack Benny program and other radio shows, as well as in numerous cartoons for Warner Brothers, eventually led to his own series, a situation comedy in which he played the bumbling owner of a fix-it shop who was always in...

with his girlfriend, Betty, but always on the outs with her father. The writers of the show tried to give Mel multiple opportunities to show off his vocal skills, especially with the character of Zookie, his assistant, who sounded remarkably like P-Porky P-P-Pig. The series was sponsored by Colgate Toothpowder, as the sponsor insisted it was pronounced, and ran for just one season, from September 3, 1946 to June 24, 1947.

The show was plagued by numerous problems, not the least of which was the writing, plus the fact that it was competing with several other more popular situation comedies at the time. Regular supporting cast members included such famous radio veterans as Joseph Kearns, Hans Conrad, and Alan Reid, and Bea Benaderet. Now, Reid and Benaderet would go on to play Fred and Betty in the Flintstones cartoon series with... of course, playing Barney Rubble.

So now, without further delay, we present the Mel Blank Show, Mel Plays Santa Claus, from CBS, broadcast on December 24th, 1946. And now, friends, adjust your radio dials to the proper frequency, get comfortable, and listen. From Hollywood, Colgate Juice Powder presents the Mel Blank Show with Mary Jane Croft, Joe Kearns, Jerry Hausner, Hans Connery, the sportsman, Victor Miller and his orchestra, and starring the creator of the voice of Bugs Bunny.

What's up, Dad? Yes, Colgate Tooth Powder for a breath that's sweet and teeth that sparkle brings you the Mel Blank Show with Mel playing his new character, Zookie. Hello, everybody. Hello, everybody. Hello, everybody. Hi. And starring himself in person, Mel Blank. Hi, folks. Ugga, ugga, boo, ugga, boo, boo, ugga. Bye.

It's Christmas Eve, and in Mel Blanc's little town, all the I'll let it go until the last minute swains are feverishly buying gifts for their girlfriends. In the furriers, we hear, This is a beautiful fur coat. Fine, I'll take it with me. Further down the street, we hear... This is a beautiful handbag. Good. Wrap it up for me. And still further down the street, where Mel Blanc is engaged in getting a gift for his girlfriend Betty, we hear... This is a beautiful watch.

Thanks, but can't you loan me more than $5, Anna? So Mel pawned the watch, and now we find him back in the fix-it shop figuring out the amount he has for Betty's gift. Now, let's see. I borrowed five. I pawned the watch for five. I closed out my savings account at the bank. That's another dollar. Eleven dollars. What can I get, Betty? Oh, I know. Every time I go to her house and we sit in the parlor, the lights go out.

I ought to get her a flashlight. No, a flashlight isn't a gift for a woman. It isn't a gift for a man either. It's really a gift for an usher. Oh, well, it's late. I better close the fix-it shop and buy the gift. Oh, hello, Betty. I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you'd be busy at your father's big Christmas party. How's it coming along? Oh, fine. Except for Willie Murdoch. He's awfully fresh, you know. As soon as he came in, he tried to kiss me. Kiss you? Why, I'll kill him!

Guys, now, you can see how strong Willie is since he took those barbell exercises. Strong? Well, Betty, it's a free country. Every man can do what he wants. Now, when you talk... Oh, you know I do, Betty. Gosh, if we were only married, how wonderful it would be. Yeah. Every Christmas we'd have a tree. And I'd come down the chimney and on the mantelpiece would be your stocking and my stocking. And there'd be another stocking. Or two. Or even three. Betty, how many feet does your father have?

Gee, I wish I'd been invited to your father's party. Oh, well, Mel, that's what I came down here for. To invite me? Yes, in fact, father said, Betty, I want to make it possible for Mel Blanc to feel the warmth of Christmas spirit. Well, I don't know, Betty. Last time your father said that, he got me halfway to the furnace. Don't be silly, darling. Come on, they must be looking for me at the party.

Okay, Betty. Oh, wait a minute. I've got to get something very important. I'll tell you what. You go on and I'll be there in a short while, huh? Yeah, if it's that important, all right. I'll see you later, darling. Bye. Oh, what can I get for Betty? Gosh, she sure is beautiful. She looks just like the cover girl on this month's Drill Press Digest. Miss Conveyor Belt of 1947. Hello.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Bradley, and Merry Christmas. What brings you in here at this late hour? Well, Mel, you've been so nice all year fixing all of little Bobby's broken toys that I thought I'd bring you a Christmas present here. Oh, gee, thanks, Mrs. Bradley. Just what I've always wanted. A dollar bill. Oh, there's some writing here. To Mel. A Merry Christmas and a Happy Henry Morgenthau Jr. Oh, I'm reading your writing and the government.

Well, I've got to close up, Mrs. Bradley, and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Uh, what's the matter, Mrs. Bradley? Oh, I was just thinking. You know, Mel, Bobby and I are alone, and for the past few years, we haven't had any Santa Claus come down our chimney. Well, it's gotten so that Bobby doesn't believe there is a Santa Claus. Oh, gosh, that's one of the worst things I know, a kid not believing in Santa Claus.

Well, I've got to go, Mrs. Bradley. Mel, I was just thinking that if you don't have anything important to do tonight, maybe you'd play Santa Claus for my body. Me play Santa? Mm-hmm. Oh, but, Mrs. Bradley, I've got a very important... No. I don't have anything to do anyway, not anything that's more important than making a kid believe in Santa Claus.

I'll come down that chimney tonight. Oh, oh, Zookie. Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, me now. Oh, oh, hello, Mrs. Bradley. Bradley. Bradley. Bradley. Thanks. Now, look, Dookie, I want you to go over to Betty's house and tell her I'm fit. But, Mel, what can you say is wrong with you? Anything. Tell Betty I was bitten by a streptococcus. No. No, no, she just saw me. Oh, I know. Tell her I'm in the hospital. I tried to mail a package at the last minute.

Mrs. Bradley, tonight I'm going to convince your son that there is a Santa Claus. Now hurry up, Zookie. Oh, thanks, Mel. Oh, leave it to me, Mel. Hi, old Sophia. Hi, old Sophia. Sophia. Yes. Hi. Leo Blitzen! Hello there, Zookie. Hello, everybody. Merry Kiki. Merry Kiki. Merry Kiki. Merry Kiki. Happy New Year. Good morning, Zookie. like me in my new dress, Zookie. Hey, everybody. You want to hear me sing a Christmas carol? Why, yes, Zookie. Go right ahead. Okay, okay.

In my Mario's mobile. In my Mario's mobile. In my Mario's mobile. In my Mario's mobile. In my Mario's mobile. With a one-horse open sleigh. Hey, uh... Hey, Zookie. Where's Mel Blanc? Oh, that's what I came to tell you. He can't come. He's got the moon and the moon and the moon. He's got the feet. He's got chicken feet.

He can't make up his mind what he's got. I don't know. Sounds very fishy to me. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a date with another girl. He has. I mean... You mean he went out with another girl? Who is she? Well, she's a... I mean, there isn't... He ain't going out with you, no. He... I...

And besides, I promise not to tell. Then he is going out with another girl. Ah, you see? What did I tell you, Mr. Calder? Betty, I told you that, Mel Blank's a scoundrel. Boy, I'm going to break every bone in his body. M-O-N-L is in there because they're terrible to see a truck. He's doing somebody, but he thinks he's doing something. Let's sing Christmas carols. Dear my merry-o.

Use tall gates to powder, keep smiling just right. Use it each morning and use it each night. Don't take a chance with your own life. No kisses for you neath the mistletoe? Perhaps a breath of trouble scared off your bow. It's just too bad when that breath of trouble, I mean unpleasing breath, catches up with a person, for it marks them down socially.

So be on your guard. Do this. Brush your teeth night and morning and before every date with Colgate Tooth Powder. For Colgate Tooth Powder cleans your breath as it cleans your teeth. Yes, scientific tests have definitely proved that in seven cases out of ten, Colgate tooth powder instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth.

What's more, no dentifers at any price cleans your teeth more quickly and thoroughly than Colgate Tooth Powder. Remember to buy it first thing. And remember the name, Colgate Tooth Powder, with the accent on powder. Don't take a chance with your romance. Use Colgate's not good powder. And now Mel Blank joins the sportsman and Victor Miller in a holiday arrangement of Jingle Bells. Thank you. Smashing through the stove In a one-horse open place Or the field we go

Laughing all the way. Bells on bop their rings. Making spirits bright. What fun it is to ride and sing a playing song tonight. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride. in a one-horse open sleigh. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. One minute to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Thank you.

Jingle, jingle, little bell, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Jingle, jingle, little bell, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride. Well, Mel is in a jam again. His girl Betty thinks he's out with another girl. But actually, Mel has promised Widow Bradley he would play Santa Claus for her little son tonight.

But no matter how much trouble he has, the wonderful thing about Mel is that he can always concentrate on his duties in the fix-it shop. Right now, his brilliant mind tackles the difficult problem of repairing a priceless violin left by a customer. Josh, why did I ever promise Mrs. Bradley I'd go to her house? With skilled fingers and expert eye, he delicately tunes the sensitive instrument. Well, I'm glad I did.

The most important thing I could do is make a child believe in Santa Claus. And now, having completed the masterful repairs, he gently places the rare violin under his chin, raises the precious bow, and draws it across the muted string. Nothing like classical music. Gee, I gotta run over to Mrs. Bradley's. I'll try to call Betty once more. Hello? Hello, can I speak to Betty? Listen, Blank, how many times do I must I tell you Betty doesn't want any part of you?

But Willie! All right, Willie, I'll talk to him. So you are going out with enough... Oh, Betty, you can't mean that. You were going to be the mother of my children. But it's too late. Well, I don't mind about myself, Betty, but what am I going to tell all those kids?

Betty, if you don't give me a chance to explain, I'll drown myself. I'll go right out and throw myself in the reservoir. I don't care. Betty, do you realize you have to drink that water? You have nothing more to say to me, Mel Blanc. Oh, who has time for petty arguments? I gotta go. Got a big job to do today. Uh-oh, here comes Mr. Cushing, my lodge president. Hello, Mel.

Mighty potentate. Ugga, ugga, boo, ugga, boo, boo, ugga. Well, what's the matter, Mighty potentate? You're not looking so well. Well, Mel, I woke up this morning on my left side. Oh, what's so bad about that? That's the side that faces my wife. Every morning I get up and there she is, yawning with her mouth wide open. I tell you, Mel, it's like living in the Rose Bowl.

Oh, I don't know, mighty potent tape. You can find beauty in every person if you only dig deep enough. Mel, I have no room in my garage for a steam shovel. And now she's got that new mine detector in the house. Mine detector? Yeah. Every time I put my hand in a purse for some extra cash, she yelled, Stop! That's mine! What a woman, if you'll pardon the expression. But I don't know why I'm telling you all this. Well, so long, Mel. I suppose I'll see you at Kobe's party. Well...

Well, I'm not going there, mighty token, Kate. I promised to play Santa Claus for Widow Bradley's boy, Bobby. Well, that's a noble gesture, my boy. Well, I can't stop the talk now, Mel. I've got to go to Colby's, and I have to get a substitute present for my wife.

Oh, but you told me you got her one last week. Oh, I did. I had it all Christmas, wrapped, I tied a red bow on it, put a do not open till eczema sticker on it, and I hid it under her bed. Well, don't tell me she opened it before Christmas. Yeah, during the night she heard the darn thing ticking. Goodbye, mighty potentate. A merry boo and a happy new ugger to you. Well, I've got to get a Santa Claus suit and go to Mrs. Bradley's now.

I never thought it would get me in so much trouble, but it's worth it if I make that kid believe in Santa Claus. Gosh, Mom, let's go to sleep. It's 9.30 already. Let's not be so hasty, Bobby. What would you say if a man came down the chimney? I'd say, look, Mom, a burglar. Well, I'm going upstairs anyway. I'm tired. Night, Mom. Merry Christmas. Oh, just a moment, Bobby. I think I... Whoa, Duncan! Whoa, Duncan! Watch that first step!

Missed that first step. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Bobby. Hey, Mom, look. What is it? That's Santa Claus, Bobby. That's right, my boy. It just came from my igloo. Igor, what's that? A Quonset hut made out of ice cubes. Oh, it was cold and barren, but I was lucky to get it. It was formerly owned by a veteran. Mom, he really is that one.

I told you, Bobby, there really is a Santa Claus. Only one? Why, there are hundreds all over the world. In fact, I just came from the Santa Claus convention at the North Pole. A Santa Claus convention? Yes. You should have heard the Scandinavian Santa Claus. He said, I hope we're going to make all the little girls and boys very happy.

So a merry Christmas and a happy new smorg, smorg. Then the Santa Claus from Scotland got up and he said, How I ever become a Santa Claus, I'll never know. All I do is give things away. It ain't likely. Then the fellow from Italy got up. They have a Santa Claus in Italy, too? Sure, Giuseppe Claus. He got up and he said... I got the worst job of all. It's a break in my back to carry this stuff. Every house you got 10 bambinos. I got to put on more help.

Either that or my sled, she's got to have a trailer. And the Brazilian Santa Claus said to the convention, I hope you all have a very good Christmas and a happy new year. We're going to make all the kiddies very happy. Because our slogan is, South America, give it away. And then the convention was closed by the Russian delegate, and he sang... Travonia Christmas! Dad, do you have any choice for me?

Oh, Bobby, we mustn't ask for everything. You have your old toys. It isn't necessary for Santa to bring new ones. Oh, that's quite all right, Mrs. Bradley. I've plenty of toys for Bobby. You have? Why, sure. I'll take them out of my bag. Here's roller skates. A water pistol, a chemical set, and a hockey stick. Now, let's see now. Yep, $11 worth.

Everything is Christmas. Yes, Bobby. Thank you, Santa. I wish we could have a big party for you, Santa. Oh, that's quite all right. We're having a great party right here. Let's sing, huh? Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is tonight. I wonder what Betty's doing right now. Come in. Well, hello. Hello, Bobby. Hello, Bobby. Mr. Cushing and Mr. Colby and Betty. Now, darling, what?

you tell us Mr. Cushing explained everything. That's right, Mel, and I feel good. I almost feel good enough to go home and kiss my wife. Blindfolded, of course. Mel, my boy, you've done a wonderful thing. You wouldn't come to our party till we brought the party to you. Oh, and here's some gifts for Bobby. Douglas Brown, didn't you have something? Oh, yeah. Here, Bobby, my boy. A hundred of them. And each one good for a soda. Gee, thank you, Mr. Brown. A box is strong.

Oh, this is so wonderful. Everybody's here. The mayor, the chief of police. Hey. Where's Willie Murdoch? That troublemaker. I fired him. What's more, I was going to break every bone in his body. On Christmas, Mr. Colby? Well, I thought of that, Mel, so I just broke every other bone. Gosh, Betty, that was a wonderful party, wasn't it? You were wonderful, Mel. This is the best Christmas I've ever had. Yeah, except for one thing.

You got me a gift, and I haven't got a present for you. Oh, that's all right, darling. I know what you did with the money. And I'm going to give you a hug for the hockey stick, for the water pistol, for the chemical set, and two hugs for the roller skate. Why didn't I get Bobby that bag of jelly beans? Oh, wait a minute, Betty. I do have a Christmas present for you. You do? What is it? Come closer. Oh, Mel.

Everybody's looking and listening. Listening? Where? Can't you see the microphone here? Oh, gosh. You can't do a thing around here without millions of people listening in. Well, we hope you keep on because we love it. Good night, folks, and a very Merry Christmas to you all. Use small gate to powder, keep smiling just right. Use it each morning and use it each night. Don't take a chance with your romance.

If you're looking for romance, be sure, be very sure that no little breath of trouble, you know, unpleasing breath will come between you and your heart's desire. Just do this. Brush your teeth night and morning and before every date with Colgate Tooth Powder. For Colgate Tooth Powder cleans your breath as it cleans your teeth. Yes, night and morning and before every date. Yes, scientific tests have definitely proved that in seven cases out of ten...

Colgate Tooth Powder instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. As for cleaning, no dentifers at any price will clean your teeth more quickly and thoroughly than Colgate Tooth Powder. Remember the name Colgate Tooth Powder with the accent on powder. Don't take a chance with your romance. Use Colgate Crumped Tooth Powder.

This is Bud Heaston reminding you that Colgate Tooth Powder, for a breath that's sweet and teeth that sparkle, brings you the Mel Blank Show every Tuesday at this time. Be sure to join us again next Tuesday night for more fun with Mel and the people you'll meet in Mel Blank's Fix-It Shop. Say hello to Halo Shampoo for naturally bright and beautiful hair. Remember, even finest soaps and soap shampoos hide the natural luster of your hair with Delling's soap film. But Halo Shampoo contains no soap.

Therefore, leave no dulling soap film. Even in the hardest water, Halo makes oceans of rich, fragrant leather. Quickly banishes loose dandruff from dirt. Halo needs no lemon or vinegar rinse. Say hello to Halo and goodbye to dulling soap film. Get Halo shampoo at any cosmetic counter. The Mel Blanc Show is written by Mac Benoff. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.

We're back with Old Time Radio Essentials. This is Pat with Pete and Paul, and that was an episode of The Mel Blanc Show, originally broadcast on CBS Radio on Christmas Eve 1946. And now, Paul, since this was your pick, please tell us why you chose this particular episode. Well, because it was my turn. But...

I've always loved Mel Blanc. I mean, he was one of the reasons I got into voiceover stuff. You know, too many years growing up, sitting in front of the damn television, listening to, and then when you find out. Saturday mornings. Yep. And then when you realize.

that it's like holy crap that's one guy doing all those voices next thing you know you're sitting there watching you know the the cartoons going along with it where is my exploding space modulator you know stuff like that and doing too many voices yourself but not nearly as good as mel you know that it's like oh

listened to him for so much that this has got to be great this show and so I picked the episode because I'd never listened to the radio show before and so I picked the episode and then after I gave it to you guys and we're all listening to it I realized Well, shit, the show, and he lasted a year. Then I listened to it and made it a year? I love Mel. I love Mel and everything, but it was. The writing kind of stunk. It was so pablum. You know, and it was almost like they were saying

Okay, so we just scribbled something down. Now we got this block here. Mel, do something funny with voices. Now here's another scribble. It's almost like they were putting too much of the weight. on him and i don't know how creative he was as in to come up with scenarios come up with all this or how much he was just you give me the line i read it kind of thing you know and

we know that he can deliver when it comes to the voices and everything, but it's kind of like, I know that I was getting kind of almost bored with him by the end of the episode. You know, it's like, let's have more story going on and stuff. And like you said, Zuki. Wow, no, not at all like Porky Pig. Yeah, and they remind you every episode, his new character, Zuki. Yeah, and it got a little tiring with the head.

Oh, this, you know? And it's kind of like, you know he's doing the exact same thing every time. You know, heaven forbid, Zuki just say something. Because I think that would have flabbergasted the hell out of you. You'd never get away with that character now, because I still remember with A Fish Called Wanda and you had the stammering character. And, you know, there was a lot of backlash from people who do stammer saying, look, you can.

not make comedy out of our disability yeah yeah nowadays would be a civil war yeah but uh it was like it was just It wasn't a strong enough show, considering the people you were competing against. I mean, I think if he had the writers and they had a tight director, I think they would have had something special.

But as it is, it was kind of like, hey, he's popular right now. Let's give him a show. Well, throw some of this stuff in there. Well, that didn't work. Move on. So that's kind of how I felt with the show. you got mel who's fantastic but the show itself was like so there you go you're next okay um yeah i do agree with that it's the writing it's almost like

The writer said, OK, we need an excuse for Mel to do a funny voice. We need an excuse for Mel to do a wild character. We need an excuse for Mel to do a horse's whinny. We need an excuse. It's like, where's your story? It almost reminded me of. You know, when you watch a figure skater and, oh, they're landing all these incredible jumps. Yeah, but where's the artistry in between? It's just like trick, trick, trick, trick, trick.

Where's the grace? Where's the story to this? You know, and he was working with fantastic radio veterans, Mary Jane Croft, Joe Kearns, Hans Conrad, who could do anything. You know, with Hans, it's like, okay, they trot him out and he does this wild character voice of the Russian piano teacher, or no, not the Russian piano teacher, the lodge.

lodge president and he does his shtick and his catch you know he oh boy innovative comedy all these things about how horrible his wife is and his mother-in-law there's innovative comedy that was the first time anybody ever did that i know and then at the end you know he he bursts into tears and leaves well he did that exact same vocal shtick and structure and that

when he was playing a car salesman on an episode of the Harris Bay show. So yeah, that was kind of like a little shtick that he does. And I think he even did it when he was in the original Broadway production of Can Can. the musical. And he played Boris Adzin Adzin Adzi, the artist. And yeah, the character goes into crying Jags. So I never saw Hans' performance in it, but I'm pretty sure he did the exact same shtick there.

As for Mel's talents in this, you know, I've listened to many episodes of the show. I first discovered it about 20 years ago when I really was interested in Hans Conrad. And just listening to this, it's so formulaic. And now that I've studied way more about comedy and writing and acting and such.

Mel's situation kind of reminds me of Tim Conway and Harvey Korman, where they were so brilliant on the Carol Burnett show as supporting players. They were absolutely brilliant. You loved it when Tim Conway came on. And made Harvey Korman crack up, right? Yeah, but whenever they got their own shows, it just didn't work. They couldn't carry the show themselves. With Tim Conway, there was always kind of a weird energy to him.

Like he's an outsider. And yet if you're going to carry a show, there's got to be a lovable quality about you where you connect with the audience. And how many shows did Tim Conway have that just didn't last? He was so talented.

But as a supporting player. Yeah. Yeah. And they aren't the only ones where it was like that, where as a supporting player, they're fantastic, but they just can't carry it. I know this will cause a little controversy with people nowadays, but that's kind of the way I feel about Will Ferrell.

I'm not a huge Will Ferrell fan. No, I don't like Will Ferrell. I just don't. As far as I'm concerned, out of all of his movies where he's the lead, the only one that I've seen that I like is Stranger Than Fiction. Other than that, he's done some great stuff where he's just a bit character in a movie. But to carry the whole thing, I... Yeah. That's the thing with unusual characters, too. I mean, I even look at...

I love silent comedies in that. But Laurel and Hardy and Hal Roach comedies are my favorite, you know, from the Hal Roach studios, because those characters are based in reality. They just have slightly more exaggerated characteristics or exaggerated situations. But generally, they're recognizable. They could exist in the real world. Then you look at, say, the Three Stooges or Max Sennett comedies, where these characters are just complete wild. They could not exist outside of this.

cinematic universe to be pretentious but it's true so I like my comedy to be rooted in reality but you get just this weird little bit of exaggeration but Mel is just always doing these odd characters. And Zookie could not exist in the real world. He's just such a weird character. And Betty, the girlfriend, well, you know, she's kind of bland, like the straight man kind of character all through this.

And then you've got the stereotypical bratty rival in love played by Jerry Hausner. You know, it's like each one of them does their little shtick. And even Mel, he comes in, he does his shtick, and that's it. You compare it to the Jack Benny show, and Jack was pretty much rooted in reality.

Even when he did funny stuff, you still got the idea he was the straight man and the unusual people did stuff all around him. And he'd react to it. That was the winning formula on Jack Benny. Yeah. Even the Harris Faye show where. It had really wild, surreal stuff, almost like you'd experience, you know, in Warner Brothers cartoons. That kind of wild, surrealistic slapstick in situations. But the characters are still somewhat rooted in reality.

With Mel's show, everyone is kind of... a weird cartoon there everyone is a stereotype yeah everyone yeah and i get the feeling what do they call it a stock character yep yeah and i get the feeling as well that the instruction was just any old excuse for mel to do his his little bits, his turns, his little voice here, his little voice there. You know, I did find that disappointing. And really, you listen to a few episodes and they all start to blur together.

They all just blend together. There's nothing really in them that I can hook on to as, okay, I can identify with this character. I like this character, etc. Now, with this episode as well, you had the deus ex machina ending, meaning the plot reaches its point. We're almost out of time. Something happens that wraps it all up. Like, oh.

They all come over to the widow's house to celebrate Christmas. Yeah, I think Zookie explained it to the girlfriend's father who was hosting the party, and then they all come over, and it's this big... Also, this was so deliberately sentimental. Oh, the widow's son, and he doesn't believe in Santa Claus. Oh, oh, I got to go to this. No, there's nothing more important. I've got to make this little boy believe in Santa Claus.

It's so deliberately soppy. No, that was 1946. Yes, it was. People were still big into that then. But the Harris Faye Christmas episode, you know, where Santa pays a visit and that, it could go that sentimental route, but... You don't really notice it. It's not that overt. It just unfolds and it's sweet. And I found myself smiling and feeling the warm fuzzies and that. With this, it was just...

oh, I see what you're trying to do to me. I don't like that kind of blatant manipulation. Thank you. I did like the in-joke in this, where, you know, he's... Mel is fixing the violin of an old man at the fix-it shop. And he plays the Jack Benny theme. Yeah, now he had been, it's kind of a doubling joke. It's not just the Jack Benny thing, but Mel had been playing Professor LeBlanc on Jack's show.

the violin teacher, Professor LeBlanc, since April 29th, 1945. So it's almost like a double reference, one to Jack Benny and one to Malice, Professor LeBlanc. Yeah, I didn't miss that one, yeah. Yeah, but it just didn't really do it for me. And I think because I've heard so much Jack Benny and so much Harris Faye, and to me, those are the gold standards.

This is just, yeah, I can see why Mel's show didn't last. Yeah, it's like, to speak of cartoons, you've got Walt Disney as the ultimate. That's like your Jack Benny and... you know, maybe even your hairspray to a slightly lesser level. And then you've got Terry Toons. And Paul Terry had even said, yeah, Disney is the Tiffany's.

I'm the Woolworths. I'm the 5 in 10 version of animation. Doing it, minimal animation, cranking it out, assembly line style, just get it out there, make the money off it, that's it. In the Terry tune cartoons, all the cats looked alike and there was lots of repetitive animation going on. So yeah, I know what you're talking about. Mass produced. Yeah. So it's.

You know, I get it. And it is interesting. 20 years ago, I hadn't heard enough of the other shows. I hadn't discovered Harris Faye. I had sort of tasted the bit of the Jack Benny program, but not really gotten into it. Now, with all these years of researching radio and listening to this stuff behind me, I can really appreciate the difference. Yeah. Yep. Well, as for me, I think the big problem was...

Jack Benny had a character that he played. Phil Harris had a character that he played. Dennis Day had a character that he played.

They all had success with their spinoff shows. Phil and Dennis had success with their spinoff shows. Mel played so many different characters. He didn't have a specific persona on... these other shows so they had to come up with something now if they had done the same I'm just I'm just riffing here but if they had done the same formula as the Jack Benny show where Mel was in charge

And Mel was trying to get a show together. And he was dealing with all of these characters as actors. And they were discussing the script. and what they were going to do, I think that really could have spun up something really exciting. And then the musical selections... He could say, okay, for this one, we're going to do jingle bells and I'm going to do all these noises. But here, they dropped jingle bells with Mel doing all these noises in the middle of the story.

And it just, it jarred me. It's just like, this is... They have to take a musical break and Mel is part of it, but Mel was also dealing with the Santa Claus thing and missing the girlfriend's Christmas party thing. So it was fairly incongruous there.

um so that was the to me i think if we really if you really wanted to have a successful uh mel blank show it should have been something where he has established as a character who's in charge of a show much the same way that phil harris was because he was still a band leader Right? Just getting into funny situations with his wife and with Remley and stuff, riffing on something that had happened earlier on the Jack Benny program.

Mel Blanc didn't have that sort of foundation. He was the happy postman on Burns and Allen. He was Monsieur LeBlanc or the store clerk on Jack Benny. He didn't have a set.

character that they could draw from and that was where it was just like disaster waiting to happen and of course it only lasted and of course it only lasted one one season and that's very much the reason why of course i don't think mel was hurt too badly by it because you know he was so busy with everything he went on to he continued with with his car

cartoon voices in his radio work. And so I don't think he really missed it. I think that's where all the money was actually doing the cartoon voices and, and the radio commercials and things like that. I doubt that Colgate Colgate tooth powder was. was giving him too much money. But I agree with what the two of you have said before now. Although this show did have some genuine laughs for me. It had some genuinely funny moments.

To me, when Mel was talking about the different nationalities of Santa Clauses, some of those were kind of cute. The Brazilian Santa Claus. Of course, he sounded Mexican, but South America, Give It Away. That was confusing for me. South America, Give It Away is a reference to a song that was made famous by Bing Crosby. being the andrew sisters um and then the uh the italian one kind of tiresome it went on too long but when everybody came over

to the widow's house and the druggist gave the little boy his gift. To me, that was the biggest laugh. I laughed out loud when I heard that. Here's a... You've got 100 of them, and everyone is worth a soda. And the boy says, oh, boy, a box of straws. Yeah. I laughed out loud when I heard him say that. It could only work in radio because otherwise you would see him giving the kid of Hawks and Straws as opposed to gift certificates. To me, it was just hilarious. It wasn't 100 free sodas.

It was a box of straws, which meant he still had to buy the damn things. So it was just so great. That was a terrific gag. And the kid delivered it so well. I mean, it was like, oh boy, a box of straws. Yep. Much in the same way Paul said, oh boy, an antique fountain pen. But anybody have anything else they want to add? The producer-director, Joe Rines, he had his own band, and he also wrote jingles. I suspect maybe he wrote the Colgate...

tooth powder one. But he produced and directed this one. He wrote the Halo shampoo jingle. Say Halo. You actually hear a bit of it at the end of the show. Hello, everybody. And he is related to kind of a distant, like a third or fourth cousin or something to Trevor Rines, who does OTR recreations with us. You know Trevor from Toronto. I love Trevor. Trevor is our announcer for the seller, yes. Yes, so Trevor is actually related. You know, it's...

So he's got it in his blood, does he? Fourth or fifth cousin or something like that. Yeah. Not exactly a close relative, but not exactly a distant relative either. Well, I'll be dying. I'll return. Yeah. We'll have to notify Trevor and let him know that we name dropped him in this episode. Well, I had actually asked him, I said, okay, well, what is your connection with Joe Rhines? And he told me, and he said, why do you need to know this? And I told him why.

Probably won't be too much of a surprise that we name-dropped him. Okay, okay. Well, why don't we vote? What are we voting on, dear listener? As a reminder, we are voting on A, whether this particular episode is a true representative installment of the overall series and... to whether or not it is a true essential, a standalone show that belongs in every radio aficionado's collection. And again, Paul, since this was your selection, you go first.

Well, let me see here. I would say, from what, I didn't listen to a whole tookus load of the episodes, but it is fairly... Yeah, they're pretty consistent, you know, and it's kind of like, oh, unflavored pudding again. And yeah, so I mean, it was consistent with the rest of the series. And unless you really love Mel Blanc's voices, I don't really see this being needed in a collector's.

setting either so i'd almost have to say a no and a no okay what do you say pat um well i you know like like you guys i grew up watching the warner brothers cartoons watching the credits. That's the only place I ever saw a credit that said voice characterizations. And yeah, I started doing voices too. So, you know, I love the stuff Mel does. I love the different voices.

But in this, it just doesn't work. I would consider this to be, you know, it belongs in your collection, just as an example on its own. I would not have multiple episodes in my collection by any means. It's almost like Pete's Dragon. If you're a Disney collector, Pete's Dragon is the movie they show to new animators to show them how not to mix live action and animation in a movie. Oh yeah? Because there were a lot of mistakes made with that one.

But, you know, this is how you learn. I see. I see. As a learning thing, yeah, definitely in the collection for that. But listening to multiple episodes, I found they all just blurred together. And it was so obvious that the instruction to the writers was just drop in as many opportunities for male to do voices as possible or animal noises. Just drop it in there. So it's just such a tenuous plot. And all the rest of it, it's, yeah.

Okay. So we'll say a no and a no for you as well? Yeah, I'd say a no and a no. Okay. Well, I agree with the two of you. It's very formulaic, so it hit all of the boxes. I think I'm going to borrow a phrase from the Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society. They got to the castle at the end of the show, and that was the party.

at uh the widow's house that was they got to the castle i've been listening to quite a few of their episodes lately trying to get caught up and as you said pat if you're a big fan of mel blank and paul you said you mentioned it as well if you're a big fan of mel blank you might want one or two of these episodes in your collection however you don't want the whole set and um and i like to say

There are some series that are disappointingly have only a few episodes available, but I think the Mel Blanc show has too many episodes available. for your listening air quotes pleasure, but it did have a couple of laughs. So, and it was Christmas themed and you've got Mel. doing his best to buck up a kid who's lost his faith in Santa Claus. And there's something to be said for that. That's a cute, sentimental thing for Christmas time. And I like that. I like that idea.

I'm a father and I lost my faith in Santa Claus when I was five, but I always tried to maintain it for my kids when they were small. And it's just a thing. You know, it's a thing. You know, you want Santa Claus to be real for your kids. So that's how I feel about it. So I would say in line with the two of you. It is a true representative installment of the overall series, and it is not...

really essential. It's just a thing. I guess what I meant to say in the first place was a yes and a no. Yes and a no. Yes, exactly. Or a maybe, yeah. You think that, yeah, I agree. A yes and a no. Okay. We didn't even mention the fact that you will hear this unusual... line this. Ugga, ugga, boo, ugga, boo, boo, ugga. What the heck is that? The lodge motto. We didn't mention that. You're right. Ugga, ugga, boo, ugga, boo, boo, ugga.

Yeah, and it became a catchphrase, and it was even recorded on records. There's one episode where Mel actually did it on the show with a sportsman, and he did some character voices in it. Surprise, a freaking prize. to hear part of it at the end of our show we'll play yeah um oh what episode was it uh january 28th 1947 the masquerade ball episode where they do it and

About that time, there was also a cover version done by Spike Jonze and the City Slickers. Yeah, that's the version we'll be playing for you at the end of this. All right, great. Paul. Well, folks, this brings us to the end of episode 46, or if you live in a parallel universe, episode 9 of season 4, with Pat Rosebank, Pete Lutz, and me.

AllRBC. Next go-around will be Pete's Pick. And what show will you be bringing us, Pete? Next time, we'll be ringing in the new year with a New Year's episode of one of my favorite series, The Whistler. And now, Pat, Paul, tell the masses what they need to know. Old Time Radio Essentials is a production of 63 Audio, a proud member of the Mutual Audio Network. Subscribe on any podcatcher you may use by searching under Mutual Audio Network, Narada Radio Company, and Moonlight Audio...

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Hey, I think that ticking is getting louder, so let's wrap things up and get the heck out of here, hey? Thanks, Paulie. Thanks, Pat. And please, dear listener, join us next time, won't you, for another fun installment of Old Time Radio Essentials. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and buh-bye for now. Bye. See ya. I think I smell smoke. Guys? Guys? Guys? See ya. Bye. If a traffic cop should pinch you, and you end up in the jail.

He will go your bail if a burglar ever robbed you. And he grabs off all your jacks. Say... He will give it back. Wait a minute. 63 audio. This is mute. ritual. Now you seem to me to be a connoisseur of the best of radio drama. In which case, make sure you're subscribed to the Monday Matinee feed.

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