'Under the Magnolias' with T.I. Lowe

00;00;01;09 - 00;00;27;20
Dave Quak
Welcome to Sunburnt Souls. I'm Dave Quak and on this show we explore life and faith and our mental well-being as a pastor that struggles with mental illness. I get to chat to people like me, people that love Jesus and follow the way of Christ while dealing with the messiness and brokenness of lives. Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode with me.

00;00;27;22 - 00;00;51;17
Dave Quak
So sunburnt souls. You guys are very blessed because today or this morning, because I am speaking with a friend over in South Carolina. We have got an author of over 20 books and a specific friend of mine. Now that I've read under the Magnolias, which we're going to get into today. So, Tanya, thank you so much for being on the show this morning.

00;00;51;20 - 00;00;54;11
T.I Lowe
Oh, thanks for having me day. It's quite an honor.

00;00;54;12 - 00;01;07;24
Dave Quak
Now, it's my pleasure, Tanya. And, you know, for two people who speak English as our first language, I don't think you can get two more different accents than Northern Australian and southern states.

00;01;07;26 - 00;01;10;02
T.I Lowe
Yes, I think we have our own language. Right?

00;01;10;03 - 00;01;26;27
Dave Quak
Yes, we do, and you do. You know, I loved it when I was reading the book, some of the explanations and some of the, you know, even when we get into this room. But when Austin first fainted, do you remember what Paul said when Austin first fainted? I know that's a very specific reference.

00;01;27;00 - 00;01;29;18
T.I Lowe
Oh my gosh, I don't know. It's been a while.

00;01;29;19 - 00;01;30;18
Dave Quak
Because I had one.

00;01;30;20 - 00;01;33;26
T.I Lowe
What did I say when I said I'm heading?

00;01;33;27 - 00;01;36;15
Dave Quak
Well, he yells out, what in tarnation?

00;01;36;19 - 00;01;39;05
T.I Lowe
In tarnation? Yes!

00;01;39;08 - 00;01;41;24
Dave Quak
Now what is a what in tarnation?

00;01;42;01 - 00;02;08;24
T.I Lowe
I always say, what in tarnation? What in the world? What on earth? This I, you know. What is that? Are you okay? It's not like a oh my gosh, kind of, exclamation. So yeah, it was funny that you said that one. My editor. Is in Chicago, so she's up north, and of course, she has to keep checking, like, is this a typo or is this one of your southern sayings?

00;02;08;26 - 00;02;31;29
T.I Lowe
And when it got to the part where, Austin was more in the kids about playing under the barn, she said, if you don't be careful, you're going to get on a snake. And she said, what is it on a snake mean? I said, as in my pop, my dad. One time he was in his shed and he opened a drawer and a snake was sitting in his toolbox drawer, and I said, that's getting on a snake.

00;02;32;04 - 00;02;39;04
T.I Lowe
You come up on one that you're you're not looking forward to. So I have to explain these crazy things to my editor as well.

00;02;39;06 - 00;02;46;25
Dave Quak
I love it. Well, she be getting used to you. Have you had the same editors for the same all the 20 books? Or is like you've written 20 books?

00;02;46;27 - 00;03;06;12
T.I Lowe
Yeah, I've had a lot to say. At. Let's see, since 2018, I've been with her and she. Yeah, she's great. Very blessed to have to get to work with her. She is also financing rivers editor, so I don't know. Have you read to friends in your rivers? I have actually write author.

00;03;06;14 - 00;03;27;05
Dave Quak
Yeah, well, that was actually the Little rabbit War and I ended up finding you one. So I was reading about prominent women authors around the world, and I knew Francine Rivers because my wife got me onto her. And then I was reading something she wrote about mental illness and how that should be incorporated more mainstream, more into fiction.

00;03;27;07 - 00;03;46;27
Dave Quak
And you came up in the conversation and one thing led to another. And then I ended up getting your book, and I'm more of an audiobook person than a reader. It was the best audiobook I've listened to because whoever you chose to be, your audiobook, like, narrator was brilliant. Who is that? Is that a friend, or is.

00;03;47;01 - 00;04;13;18
T.I Lowe
Yes. Susan Bennett? No. It the company that, does the record books, they sent me, listings of, you know, some examples or samples I could choose from. And as soon as I heard her, I was like, it's her. She has to do this book. So she's she's brilliant. And anytime I can get her to narrate a book, I definitely choose her, because, you know, she didn't have to southern.

00;04;13;18 - 00;04;24;23
T.I Lowe
She had to do the Polish accent for Ms.. Wise. She had to do, Foxy was more Louisiana, so I think she did a great job differentiating the different.

00;04;24;26 - 00;04;40;00
Dave Quak
Absolutely. And she had to lean in and do power as well, you know. Yes. Yeah. And even just some of the explanations and yeah, I really I really enjoyed it. I have to be honest, it's my first southern fiction that I've read.

00;04;40;02 - 00;04;44;14
T.I Lowe
I'm so honored that you read my book. I mean, it just blows my mind that you read my book.

00;04;44;16 - 00;05;03;26
Dave Quak
It was so cool. And and I really appreciated the way you really painted a lot of verbal pictures. Now, it's not usual that a reader identifies with someone who's not the protagonist, I think, and I really resonated with David Foster. I thought he was brilliantly created.

00;05;03;26 - 00;05;19;22
T.I Lowe
Oh well, thank you. Okay, that story started with him, and for the longest time I was going to write it in his point of view. But the more research I did, it seemed like I needed to do it in the point of view of his family. And so yeah, but the story definitely started with him.

00;05;19;25 - 00;05;30;29
Dave Quak
Can I can I ask, I read in the interview of yours you don't often base, your characters on real people. Was that the same with David Foster as well?

00;05;31;01 - 00;05;54;03
T.I Lowe
It's always, I could tell people I think authors are just natural born observers, like, you know, or paper people watchers. Yeah. And so I always say like my characters are a combination of a lot of different people. But, Dave started it was several years ago that I, you know, this book's been out since, but 2000 and now.

00;05;54;09 - 00;06;18;19
T.I Lowe
Yeah, 2021 now. But in the writing world, I wrote it for a few years before then, but I kept seeing headlines. It was either on Facebook or, you know, just a newsfeed where prominent men, like youth pastor to pastors or commit suicide. And that thing just really bothered me. And my, oh, you know, why did they get to a point where they didn't think they could reach out for help, you know, why didn't they?

00;06;18;19 - 00;06;36;06
T.I Lowe
And that just sent me down the rabbit hole of that. Research. And that's where they come from in, in a lot of times. So books start with something I want to understand more. I know a lot of authors. I start with a question they won't answer. But moms, I want to understand something more. And that was it.

00;06;36;06 - 00;07;02;25
T.I Lowe
And then, you know, pray about it. I go to the Bible because, you know, I want there's always I Bible more themes to go with it. And the more I, I read Psalms and the more I looked into King David, I really think he struggled with his mental health. And so, I mean, I'm no expert, but, you know, I'm, I feel like I'm a good observer and, so that's where my David come from.

00;07;02;27 - 00;07;21;13
Dave Quak
I absolutely agree. Just today I was emailing a friend and we were sharing about where one of the Psalms, King David's like, my tears are my food day and night. And it's like he spent this whole night just grieving. He he did experience the depths of the motions, to the heights, to the lowest. So I, I agree, I absolutely agree.

00;07;21;13 - 00;07;21;21
Dave Quak
Yeah.

00;07;21;27 - 00;07;30;03
T.I Lowe
He really did like in one Psalm. He's just like, you know, dancing and praising and the next you just the lowest of lows.

00;07;30;03 - 00;07;53;28
Dave Quak
Yeah. I when I was reading it, I somehow must have assumed you had somebody like a David in your life, because the way you were able to capture just that intersection of being a man of God who absolutely loves Jesus while struggling with mental illness was just spot on, we'd say in Australia it was bang on, like a bang on Tanya.

00;07;53;28 - 00;08;20;08
Dave Quak
Because, yeah, because that's actually my journey. So I'm a pastor. I've been a part for 20 years, and I also have bipolar and I could really enter into David Foster. And there was so many times, look, I'll make a confession. I cry about three times a year. So I really have to plan these cries. And you took one of them in the prawn scene and it took me by surprise.

00;08;20;08 - 00;08;22;29
Dave Quak
Oh, sorry. You call them shrimps. So in the shrimp scene?

00;08;23;04 - 00;08;23;28
T.I Lowe
Yes.

00;08;24;00 - 00;08;39;12
Dave Quak
Okay. Because though it was so outlandish from Austin's and everyone else's perspective, the first time I had a moment like that, I could resonate with what was going on in David's mind in that moment through that night.

00;08;39;14 - 00;08;46;20
T.I Lowe
Do you? Yeah. Explain what that is. So, you know, briefly explain it and maybe share when you've had an episode like that.

00;08;46;23 - 00;09;06;21
Dave Quak
So what happens with me when I'm manic? Is that I just get fixated on something and I have to do it. It's like it's my world mission. It's what I've been designed to do. And if I don't do it, I won't be able to sleep. And not only do I have to do it, I have to recruit everyone in on my idea because it's so brilliant.

00;09;06;24 - 00;09;26;22
Dave Quak
This is, you know, so I think thankfully right now I'm not in that headspace, you know. And so there's been times where, oh, like, gather the family together and go, okay, guys, I've got an idea. We are going to start buying outboard engines, fixing them up and selling them again. And they're like, dad, you know nothing about our engines, dad, you don't like mechanics.

00;09;26;22 - 00;09;46;17
Dave Quak
Dad, this isn't gonna work. Now we've got to a place where we can manage it, where that can be like, okay, great idea. Let's sit on it for two weeks. And usually the idea passes. But exactly what David was feeling. Where is he? He thought he'd solved it. Yeah. Here's what we feel like when we're manic.

00;09;46;19 - 00;10;07;29
T.I Lowe
A lot of the research, I was, you know, in research, the lows, the research, the highs. And it was they, like you said they were, you would become obsessed or, you know, fixated on it. And a lot of it was like shopping for women or, hoarding, a lot of a big stockpile of supplies. And, what would Dave do?

00;10;08;04 - 00;10;29;20
T.I Lowe
What would Dave do out there on the farm in the South and the whole shrimp idea and I will say a friend of mine, which, they don't I'm not close enough that I know a lot about her husband struggle with bipolar. But after she read the book, she she called. She said you nailed it with the shrimp, saying that is that is my husband.

00;10;29;21 - 00;10;59;26
T.I Lowe
You nailed it. So, when I approach a any topic that I write about, I wrote about, written about, abuse or whatnot or, substance abuse, physical abuse, with the bipolar, my whole the main thing I want to respect that subject and respect those that are going through it. So when I get people like you reaching out saying, you know, I want to talk about it, like, thank you, Lord, I did my job.

00;10;59;28 - 00;11;04;10
Dave Quak
Yeah, Tony, you did your job like that.

00;11;04;15 - 00;11;05;03
T.I Lowe
Well thank you.

00;11;05;07 - 00;11;31;10
Dave Quak
You know, in my opinion, like being able to. Okay. So I'm really trying to help people understand it. What I think your book does is make people feel it. Like they actually get into the headspace of what it must be like not only to be a David, but to also be Austin and all the kids trying to understand how to live with somebody who's struggling with bipolar or any mental illness for that matter.

00;11;31;12 - 00;11;54;21
T.I Lowe
But when we sent it and to the publishers to read it for the first time, when it got to the scene where after, Peg smart mouth, the man about strawberries, and he was taken up for Foxy and Dave takes them all back to the barn and they're all holding their breath when Dave takes the belt off and they're like, don't do it, tiny.

00;11;54;21 - 00;12;14;14
T.I Lowe
Don't do it, don't do it. And they all thought, what? He was going to, get Ahold of Peg, but he took it out on himself. And, they said that that in itself put a new spin on a lot of books that, you know, someone struggling with bipolar or some another mental condition, a medical condition like that.

00;12;14;14 - 00;12;28;00
T.I Lowe
And, I said Dave wasn't a bad guy. He was a good guy, a man, you know, wanting God's heart just like King David. He just had a medical condition, and he needed treatment for it.

00;12;28;02 - 00;12;54;28
Dave Quak
Yeah, yeah, I thought that was great. And and especially what I appreciated from a personal point of view was how he was dealing with the fact that he was still a man of God, leading a church, preaching with gusto. Maybe when the gusto and the mania comes together, like in my condition, sometimes it's a bit much for people, but like, you can just kind of appreciate how that would just be such a it'd be an overwhelming sensation.

00;12;54;28 - 00;13;05;10
Dave Quak
You know, you you feel like you're hearing from God. You also got to sift your own thoughts and emotions, especially the unhelpful ones. And it can be a confusing time. And I think that was really well illustrated.

00;13;05;13 - 00;13;06;07
T.I Lowe
Oh thank you.

00;13;06;09 - 00;13;25;01
Dave Quak
How long is it in? Years. Because it was it was over a time span. But how long do you think it was in your book when David first had, for example, the shrimp episode and then all the way through to right at the end where he starts getting help? How many years chronologically do you think that might have been?

00;13;25;01 - 00;13;48;18
T.I Lowe
Well, even going back a little bit for the shrimp scene, I feel like we, you know, as looking at it from Austen's point of view. Before her mom passed, she was helping day. She was trying to she was, keeping things protecting the kids from some of it. So he had already had struggles. But so the shrimp saying, oh my goodness, how old was I try to, oh my goodness.

00;13;48;18 - 00;13;52;26
T.I Lowe
I had a whole timeline of each child because, you know, there's a pile of them.

00;13;52;29 - 00;13;57;07
Dave Quak
He would have had to mind map the whole room to keep track of that.

00;13;57;07 - 00;14;07;08
T.I Lowe
He had a list of each child, each age, and then the progression of the years from the chapters. But, the shrimp, how old was.

00;14;07;11 - 00;14;11;07
Dave Quak
Oh, even from the beginning. You know, it's a it's a long journey for him.

00;14;11;09 - 00;14;21;01
T.I Lowe
Yeah, because she's a 13 year old in the beginning. And then by the end she's a young adult. So. Yeah. How old were you when you you, just started feeling like.

00;14;21;01 - 00;15;00;19
Dave Quak
Okay, well, I'm 43 now, and the way it worked is that I got diagnosed with anxiety, maybe like eight years ago, or more like depression, which was sort of like the start of the process. But it was in a way a misdiagnosis. And the reason that came about was I only go to the doctor when I was feeling really depressive, but when I was manic, it kind of had enough good in it that I thought I was just a bit impulsive or over extroverted or whatever, but I didn't realize how much damage it was doing me because I thought it was quite normal based on my patterns to be, you know, sleeping for eight hours

00;15;00;19 - 00;15;17;29
Dave Quak
a night for months at a time and racing thoughts and everything. So it took me. I would, I look back on my adult life and I know it's had traces there and it's just being building, building, building. And then it really came to a head about six years ago, which is when I got to organize. I went to a psychiatrist.

00;15;17;29 - 00;15;18;25
Dave Quak
And every day.

00;15;18;27 - 00;15;29;09
T.I Lowe
Do you feel like as a pastor, it was hard for you to to go get that help? Do you think it took longer for you to make that that step to. Yeah.

00;15;29;12 - 00;15;50;23
Dave Quak
It did. And and in the moment, surprised that it did because I if my friend was in a similar place, I would have been more than supportive. And if a loved one was, I'd be in the doctor with them, you know, but because it was, you know, you had to not separate the spiritual and the mental, but you felt like you had to.

00;15;50;25 - 00;16;13;04
Dave Quak
And I think that's the problem is we see them sometimes it's two different parts of the one person rather than one person, made in the image of God who's struggling in a different area. And so I, I, I was okay when I had the anti depressant, but when I got, I got so prescribe something called Seroquel which is an antipsychotic.

00;16;13;06 - 00;16;44;06
Dave Quak
And that was when it was like antipsychotic that has a few kind of like connotations that are not stoked at the moment. You know. Yeah, yeah. But you said at the start, you know, you started noticing suicide amongst prominent men. Have you noticed, any increase in awareness when it comes to identifying mental illness in, in your sphere, like over in the States?

00;16;44;09 - 00;17;17;17
T.I Lowe
Well, after seeing those headlines and doing the research, I, I hope that we're making progress. I think we do have a long way to go. And that was the one of the reasons why, I set the book back in the 80s, which made it even harder because in the, the treatments and, even they didn't even call it bipolar with Batman, it was manic depression and anyway, and then crazy enough, the research showed that people that were dealing with that would be put in nursing homes.

00;17;17;17 - 00;17;43;25
T.I Lowe
So it was it was like floored. It floored me. Just back to the 80s. But in, in my, in my, dealings with things is that sometimes you gotta put distance between you and a surgeon before you can see get a better picture of it. And so I thought if I put it back in the 1980s, people were like, oh, wow, you know, this is going on.

00;17;43;25 - 00;17;55;29
T.I Lowe
But reality is. Yeah. And it's still going on. So let's talk about it. And so we've had I've had some really good conversation about it. And I hope that's what the book does is just open conversations.

00;17;56;01 - 00;18;08;16
Dave Quak
It does, it does, I can assure you and I'm sure and I was looking at your reviews, there's literally thousands and thousands and thousands like people are reading this book. And so that is such good news. Select that. It's out there and ministering to people.

00;18;08;19 - 00;18;28;17
T.I Lowe
It amazes me because like I said, I didn't I didn't have a contract on this book. It was during the pandemic. So there was no, you know, I, I just wanted to write it because I wanted to understand it and understand something better. And my agent was, I are what are you working on? My. Well, you know, just this, this little story.

00;18;28;17 - 00;18;49;00
T.I Lowe
It's just for me. I. And she's like, are you gonna ever let me see it? I said, maybe one day. And then, I finished it. She kept on about it. And so I sent it to her during the pandemic. And, she come back, she said, you know, I don't cry because she's a tough cookie. She says, but I when I got to that, church scene near the end of the book, she's.

00;18;49;00 - 00;19;11;09
T.I Lowe
I want you to know, I cried like a baby. So. And she said, I've gotta send it in. And next thing I know, it's just amazing how this little story that I wrote that I wanted to understand that better, has resonated with so many people. It it, and they, they keep saying about the church saying and his days church hangs out with that in my mind.

00;19;11;09 - 00;19;27;11
T.I Lowe
My you know, I'm no expert, no theologian or anything, but I feel like that's what God intended for the church to be. Yeah. No matter if you're broken, no matter what you're going through, come together. Come to me. The church should be the hospital. God's hospital?

00;19;27;15 - 00;19;38;02
Dave Quak
Absolutely. When you're referring to the scene, are you meaning the one where Austin goes to the door and she's about to tell everyone to go home? Yes. And then they call her in. Ida. Yeah. That was amazing.

00;19;38;08 - 00;20;02;26
T.I Lowe
Oh, thank you. Yeah. Even though David, what he was doing, he had going through so many struggles part, you know, privately he touched so many lives. And just like you said, when you were talking about how you grapple with taking care of yourself and then you're helping your church family, and, I just keep doing it because, you know, those people need you.

00;20;02;29 - 00;20;14;08
T.I Lowe
And, are you do you openly speak in your church about your struggles? Yeah. You know, you go in and say, you know, I'm having a rough day today or you try to keep that to yourself.

00;20;14;10 - 00;20;42;00
Dave Quak
Yeah, I do, I'm open with it now. It sort of grew progressively. And then we launched this podcast and the first episode was The Pastor with bipolar. So I just rip the band aid off and sent it to everyone I know. Which really helped because, you know, in those moments, Delilah was frail and vulnerable. I was just met with love and support and people saying, I'm praying for you and thank you.

00;20;42;00 - 00;20;59;07
Dave Quak
And then since then, I've just got a real or a message from people saying, you know, I'm in a similar position. I feel like I've not had support in the past, you know, and so it's starting to grow a little bit. But I think we, like you said, I think we've got such a long way to go, particularly in faith communities.

00;20;59;10 - 00;21;22;00
Dave Quak
Just normalizing it like, yes, in Australia, our latest stats say that 1 in 4 people will experiencing, anxiety in their lifetime enough to have to do some intervention. So that's 1 in 4 people in our congregations. Like it's it's in the church building sitting there, you know. And so we really need to address it, you know.

00;21;22;01 - 00;21;46;25
T.I Lowe
Oh my goodness. And you being open about it, it'll help your congregation feel that it's a safe place to be open about it as well. So that's great. I listen to that podcast. Your first one and wow, what a good, oh, oh. I'm just, like, struggling for words this morning, but an awesome ministry to open those doors to people that can, feel comfortable to talk about it.

00;21;46;28 - 00;22;08;15
Dave Quak
Thank you. Tanya, I'm really honored you listened. I didn't expect that. It's. This is a real. I feel like this is a real sort of like God ordained chat for a bunch of reasons. Like, I suppose what I've been trying to grapple with is how do I articulate the importance of creating space to, have the story become alive, which is what you've done?

00;22;08;17 - 00;22;29;08
Dave Quak
I don't know how you did it. Like I love that you did the research, but now I actually feel like I want to know what happened to David now. Like, I felt so bought into the character that I, I feel grief. It's weird. It's such a weird thing. Tonya. My mates are going to listen to this and be like, Dave, this isn't you at all.

00;22;29;08 - 00;22;45;10
Dave Quak
But because it's not me at all. But I never get bored into a character to this level. I've never had this before. And and you know, now I want to know how it's going. I hope there's a sequel. You know, we want to see milestones, kids and that grow up, you know, all of that. But you know, but not, you know, can't have that.

00;22;45;10 - 00;22;54;04
Dave Quak
But, I haven't read your other books, but you mentioned earlier that, you know, abuse and different themes flow through your other writing.

00;22;54;06 - 00;23;16;19
T.I Lowe
And it was funny because you use this word in that first podcast. But I had a, a reviewer status about my writing. From the pretty much from the very beginning. I have taken it as my own saying, I write grace, I write great with grace, and that were great. And to me that the world is full of grit.

00;23;16;25 - 00;23;39;14
T.I Lowe
I mean, we have we all, and it's a different types of grit. And I think, if you approach it with grace, and, and one of the things that I, when I start a book and I'm not saying I always get it right, but I ask God to give me the story he wants me to tell and the not let me get in the way of it, because that's human doing it in a way.

00;23;39;14 - 00;24;04;24
T.I Lowe
So, and I don't know why, but I just feel like with that under the magnolias, I didn't get in the way of any of it. It's like God gave me that story, and it's it's such a surreal feeling because I never I never worried about anything I was writing, maybe because I didn't think I weren't scared about or nervous about sharing it with an editor or my agent or anything because I was just going to write it.

00;24;04;29 - 00;24;15;06
T.I Lowe
And, I think that God has taken it and blessed it. Amazingly, I and it was crazy because last June, Fury, it hit number one in Sweden.

00;24;15;08 - 00;24;17;03
Dave Quak
In Sweden.

00;24;17;06 - 00;24;28;24
T.I Lowe
Yeah, I how does it happen? And, it still blows my mind. And it was on top of all the books and fiction. It weren't just Christian fiction. It was number one across the board.

00;24;28;25 - 00;24;29;13
Dave Quak
Yeah, it is.

00;24;29;13 - 00;24;30;08
T.I Lowe
Everywhere.

00;24;30;08 - 00;24;34;13
Dave Quak
Tonya. It is like all over the place. If you Google it, it is everywhere.

00;24;34;19 - 00;24;36;06
T.I Lowe
I just blows my mind. Yeah.

00;24;36;06 - 00;24;39;04
Dave Quak
Good.

00;24;39;06 - 00;25;05;15
T.I Lowe
Yeah. So I think, you know, God wants God put a whole slew of imperfect people in the Bible for us to learn from. He didn't put those people there. He didn't put the shining parts of it. He showed us the grit. He but he showed us the grace part of it as well. And so my stories I don't I don't put Johnny perfect people in my books because they don't exist.

00;25;05;18 - 00;25;21;12
T.I Lowe
And so if it's, I think people can relate to that, just like you being open to your congregation, they can relate to that. And what a wonderful service you're doing it to for your people that they could come to you about a struggle and know that you're not going to judge them. But I.

00;25;21;13 - 00;25;21;28
Dave Quak
Think you.

00;25;21;28 - 00;25;37;02
T.I Lowe
And, so many emails I received, people the same way, they'll open up and tell me their story. And, that and that's always my favorite part of the writing process or the book process.

00;25;37;05 - 00;25;53;27
Dave Quak
Tonya one thing I have, really appreciated when I read the book is you can see the grace narratives coming through. You can see that it comes from a place of real relationship with Jesus. Tell us about Jesus. How did you meet him, and what's your faith like over there in Carolina?

00;25;54;00 - 00;26;17;01
T.I Lowe
Well, where, where I live, we have a church on every corner, just about. So. Okay. It being, ridiculous that I couldn't find Jesus, right. But he definitely found me. I didn't my church didn't really. Our my church. My family didn't really. Didn't go to church growing up. But I had friends who their their family went to church.

00;26;17;01 - 00;26;35;26
T.I Lowe
And if I stayed with them, I had to go to church with them or we can't do anything. There is the rest Sunday afternoon. But, they weren't a perfect family, but they had something that my my family was missing. And so I had a hunger to find out, like, well, what did they have that we don't have?

00;26;35;29 - 00;26;58;15
T.I Lowe
And so I would go with them. And I remember in, growing up, I said, secretly wanted to be a writer, but I didn't even pursue it till I was like 38 years old. But, one of my biggest dreams was to become a writer. But then after that, I wanted to have a family, and I wanted them to have me in church like that family that I, would stay with.

00;26;58;20 - 00;27;36;21
T.I Lowe
Good. Be it. And so, age 21, I gave my life to Jesus. And, I struggled a lot with anxiety. My parents had divorced, and through that I would have anxiety attacks. And I had to have it be put on medication my young adult years. And it's amazing that, God, I didn't feel like I could handle it until I was say that 21 and I since then, you know, I still have struggles with it, but it's it's amazing that, when you have Jesus in your life and focused on him, that you can help you through that.

00;27;36;21 - 00;28;02;25
T.I Lowe
And, so we we've gone to church ever since then. I raised my both children in church. I have a 23 year old son who lives in Charleston, which is a little bit more south of here, about two hours away. He's a, a nurse. And my daughter, she's, almost 18. She's about to graduate high school, and, we're not perfect people, but we've tried to raise our children in church.

00;28;02;25 - 00;28;34;22
T.I Lowe
The with the love of God and, even from the very get go with the writing, I, I wanted it to be from God. So. Yeah. I've stayed in the the Christian fiction world, but like I said, I write grace. Great with grace. Yeah, I want to. I want it to be real. Because the more you study the Bible, the more you realize it's, full of people just like me with flaws and struggles, and, it got it.

00;28;34;22 - 00;28;43;12
T.I Lowe
Put those people in there for us to learn from. For no reason. You know, there's a reason why they're in there. So I just want to keep sharing. More like that.

00;28;43;14 - 00;29;06;02
Dave Quak
Yeah. That's amazing. And I love that even, you know, through your own anxiety, it didn't result in you not being usable for the kingdom. I think that's one thing I want to champion, is that people with mental illness and mental ill health are very usable in the kingdom, like you've mentioned in in the Bible. Was your own, anxiety a little bit of a motivation to write great with grace?

00;29;06;02 - 00;29;14;27
Dave Quak
Was it that, you know, you know, people are living on the coalface of life and it can be difficult, going through anxiety. Was that a motivator?

00;29;14;29 - 00;29;41;07
T.I Lowe
For sure. And and to be honest with you, social media was a motivator because so many times you paint the pretty picture on Facebook or the pretty picture, and that one Instagram post and I'm like, that's not real. You know, there's behind those pictures. There's a lot that needs to be said. And I just wanted to take away those perfect images and share more, what people go through.

00;29;41;09 - 00;29;48;28
Dave Quak
While you're doing that. Tonya, is there anything without giving us spoilers in the pipeline that we can be looking forward to?

00;29;49;00 - 00;30;10;01
T.I Lowe
We've got a new book coming out in September, and, I've got an advance copy here I've got to send out to, bookstore, but, you could see it, I don't know, your budget, your podcast, but it is about an abandoned town in South Carolina. So it's a ghost town. And this woman, and she has a lot of ghost in her past.

00;30;10;01 - 00;30;26;07
T.I Lowe
And so she's going to come in and read, do the entire town with her company. And through, while she's uncovering secrets of this town, she's going to explore her own problems and her own, ghost for a purpose. So.

00;30;26;10 - 00;30;28;15
Dave Quak
Oh, we love to know her name.

00;30;28;17 - 00;30;35;16
T.I Lowe
Her name is Avery. Because, you know, it's kind of. Oh, that's a great southern girl name. Avery. Yeah, I.

00;30;35;18 - 00;30;40;21
Dave Quak
Easily is it. Ava. Hyphen Lee.

00;30;40;23 - 00;30;43;20
T.I Lowe
That is. Ava. Alaihi.

00;30;43;22 - 00;30;53;06
Dave Quak
Hey. Really nice. I like it. Now. That's going to be good. And for your books, do you prefer people to buy them off Amazon or where's your preferred way for us to get hold of you?

00;30;53;08 - 00;31;04;12
T.I Lowe
Yeah, wherever there's Amazon, Books-A-Million, Barnes and Noble, your local bookstore. I love, independent bookstores, supporting them. So, yeah, anywhere books are sold.

00;31;04;16 - 00;31;08;13
Dave Quak
Do you happen to know the name Q wrong? Have you heard of Q wrong before.

00;31;08;15 - 00;31;09;13
T.I Lowe
Now what's that?

00;31;09;16 - 00;31;16;23
Dave Quak
That's one of the Australian Christian bookstore chains. I was wondering if it might be in there as well. Might be on my list.

00;31;16;23 - 00;31;17;16
T.I Lowe
How do you spell it?

00;31;17;22 - 00;31;30;16
Dave Quak
K000. Oh. Angie, they're one of the biggest, here. But when I got yours, I just ordered it straight off Amazon, so it was easy to get. And then the audio was, well, it was easy to get affordable.

00;31;30;20 - 00;31;34;16
T.I Lowe
The audiobook for Under the Magnolias was just excellent. They did a great job.

00;31;34;18 - 00;31;42;01
Dave Quak
Yeah, but, you know, your voice would be good for it too. Tanya, you've got a good southern. Yes.

00;31;42;03 - 00;31;54;04
T.I Lowe
See, the more nervous I get, the more I slur my words, and I would. I will make a mess of it. I do not. And I, I can write, I tell people, I said I can write, I can not talk.

00;31;54;07 - 00;31;59;12
Dave Quak
Well, at least you don't sound like me, though, al Australian accent is just so grating.

00;31;59;14 - 00;32;00;06
T.I Lowe
That no.

00;32;00;06 - 00;32;06;28
Dave Quak
Way. It's first thing in the morning. It's. You're like, I bet you're thinking I need some coffee before I can listen to Dave. This is too.

00;32;07;05 - 00;32;11;06
T.I Lowe
Much. You know, I was looking forward to that.

00;32;11;08 - 00;32;25;01
Dave Quak
Well, t lo, Tanya, it has been a real pleasure, and I sincerely appreciate your time. Would you mind? Just as we wind up, we ask if the guests are comfortable to pray for our listeners. And if you're cool to do that, we'd appreciate that, Tony. Thanks.

00;32;25;07 - 00;32;50;23
T.I Lowe
All right, well, let's pray. Dear God, we thank you for this morning. And, this evening. And allowing me to to meet Dave and, just, just so honored, dear Lord, that you are allowed to put my book in his hand and was able to share this with me and with so many today. And I ask that you would bless his ministry and continue to guide people to to his podcast and just open the conversation.

00;32;50;23 - 00;33;01;05
T.I Lowe
Dear Lord, to our struggles. Thank you for giving us platforms to be able to speak. In your name I pray. Amen.

00;33;01;07 - 00;33;24;19
Dave Quak
For more candid conversations on faith and mental well-being, check out some bentos.com. You can subscribe to our podcast on any major provider or contact us directly to book us to preach or speak. Some of that souls is a faith based ministry, and we want to thank everybody so far for their generous support. If you want to get behind us, pray our message reaches the ears of those that need to hear it.

00;33;24;21 - 00;33;34;13
Dave Quak
Feel free to donate financially online, but if you feel obliged or manipulated to give you better off sharing a loved one a coffee instead. I'm Dave Clark from Sunburned Souls.