The Pastor with Bipolar - Introducing Dave Quak, Host of Sunburnt Souls.

00;00;01;09 - 00;00;27;23
Dave Quak
Welcome to Sunburnt Souls. I'm Dave Quak and on this show we explore life and faith and our mental well-being. As a pastor that struggles with mental illness, I get to chat to people like me, people that love Jesus and follow the way of Christ while dealing with the messiness and brokenness of lives. Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode.

00;00;27;26 - 00;00;42;14
Amelia Rees
Hello and welcome to Sunburnt Souls. I am sitting across the table from Dave Quak and today he is going to share with us a little bit about his story, his history, and how he came to be here. So let's just start with your name, your age, and your favorite chocolate.

00;00;42;15 - 00;01;00;04
Dave Quak
All right. My name is David Trevor Quak. I realize that is a terrible name, but I didn't choose it. I am 43 years old, and my favorite chocolate is chocolate mint, dark chocolate, dark chocolate. Yes. I like that you either love or hate dark chocolate. Oh, yeah.

00;01;00;06 - 00;01;05;22
Amelia Rees
So tell us a little bit about yourself. You're obviously a pastor. Yes. How did you get into that pastoral space corner?

00;01;05;23 - 00;01;15;24
Dave Quak
By accident. So I became a Christian when I was about 20. You know, I became a Christian. I was quite zealous, extroverted. So usually that's the combination for someone to make your youth leader.

00;01;15;26 - 00;01;16;19
Dave Quak
So, yeah.

00;01;16;23 - 00;01;38;14
Dave Quak
Zealous and extroverted. And I started serving in a church and quite quickly became the youth pastor there. And then from there that was in Brisbane, and then from there I ended up doing a placement for evangelism at a church on the Gold Coast. And that past, I mean, long story short, he approached us and poached us in to be youth pastors down on the Gold Coast.

00;01;38;14 - 00;01;40;15
Dave Quak
And so were youth Pastors,  For about eight years.

00;01;40;19 - 00;01;41;12
Amelia Rees
We been you?

00;01;41;12 - 00;01;53;00
Dave Quak
Oh, yes. Sorry. My wife and I, we've always been pastors together. Not we, as in, there's two of me. And then we planted a church about 12 years ago and have been leading that ever since.

00;01;53;06 - 00;01;56;23
Amelia Rees
Wow. So you've been in ministry for 20, 20 years?

00;01;56;23 - 00;01;57;14
Dave Quak
Yes.

00;01;57;16 - 00;01;58;03
Amelia Rees
Well done.

00;01;58;04 - 00;02;09;21
Dave Quak
Yeah. Thank you. 20 years. Been married for 20 years as well. Got two kids. So my son is 15. His name is Josiah. And I've got a daughter called Melanie who's nearly 13 coal mines all over.

00;02;09;23 - 00;02;10;18
Dave Quak
But it's good.

00;02;10;21 - 00;02;13;24
Dave Quak
They're good kids. I like those two. They're good kids. I'm happy with them.

00;02;13;26 - 00;02;14;25
Dave Quak
How good?

00;02;14;28 - 00;02;29;01
Amelia Rees
All of the conversations that you and I have had over my lifetime have always been really real and raw and deep. Yeah. And I know that that's what you want for this podcast as well. So let's talk about your mental health journey where that all started for you and what that's looking like for you now.

00;02;29;03 - 00;02;54;05
Dave Quak
All right. So I have always thought that my mom was a little bit outside the box. That's actually the underpinning reason I wanted to get into this podcast is because since being an adult, I've struggled with major ups and downs. And then about five years ago, I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression, started on that process. I went to my GP, who's a legend.

00;02;54;05 - 00;03;19;05
Dave Quak
His name's Paul and he, you know, he did a mental health assessment with me and started me on the process of chatting about my mental health. As part of that, he referred me to a psychologist and he was an awesome guy called Sean. And then I went to him for a bunch of sessions, which then led me to go seeing a psychiatrist and as part of journeying with his psychiatrist, he acknowledged, yes, Dave, you've got anxiety and you've got depression.

00;03;19;05 - 00;03;36;08
Dave Quak
And he helped me work out the medication regime with that. But he also diagnosed me with a condition called bipolar type two, which is a bigger condition which has anxiety and depression as kind of like characteristics of that.

00;03;36;13 - 00;03;54;16
Amelia Rees
And to define just to go back, bipolar, from what I understand when you're talking about manic, those manic sort of episodes, because everyone has those fluctuations in their emotional response, you could be really heightened by that sort of stuff, but it doesn't last for a super long amount of time. Or, you know, you can sort of calm yourself down.

00;03;54;16 - 00;04;01;27
Amelia Rees
But from my understanding, those manic sessions last over anywhere between 4 and 18 days. Yeah. Is that about right?

00;04;01;27 - 00;04;02;19
Dave Quak
Well.

00;04;02;21 - 00;04;04;09
Amelia Rees
Depending on your diagnosis.

00;04;04;09 - 00;04;11;00
Dave Quak
Yeah, yeah. And I don't know if I'm an overachiever, but my manic my manic episodes could go for like a month or two months.

00;04;11;00 - 00;04;11;23
Amelia Rees
Yes. Okay.

00;04;11;23 - 00;04;13;09
Dave Quak
Okay. So, so you can.

00;04;13;09 - 00;04;14;24
Amelia Rees
Then say you're bipolar two. Is that.

00;04;14;24 - 00;04;36;10
Dave Quak
Right? It is. It is. Yeah. So in my life I've been quite open with the anxiety and depression. What I haven't been open until probably right now. Yeah. Yeah. Is the odd is the truth that that actually falls under my bigger diagnosis of bipolar type two. So both anxiety and depression can be symptoms of having bipolar type two.

00;04;36;13 - 00;04;58;12
Dave Quak
And so bipolar type two. You know it used to be called manic depression or manic depressive people. And so basically it as the name sounds, it's two ends of the spectrum. Bipolar. Like, you know, you can get incredibly elated and then incredibly defeated. And so for me, I get these periods of mania that would last for, yeah, like I said, 1 to 2 months.

00;04;58;12 - 00;05;23;01
Dave Quak
And in those times I would be fixated on certain things. So maybe I'd research something I'd want to like, like an initiative. I'd want to start in a research A to death or, you know, I'd look at, an idea and I couldn't stop fixating on it. So, you know, and it grip me in that it would be the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep and it would consume me.

00;05;23;04 - 00;05;42;06
Dave Quak
Now, you got to understand on on the good side, if it was something that was good for me and good for even ministry of the Kingdom, my family, it can, it can work out well. But a lot of times it didn't. So I get like fixated on maybe trying to make money or something and then make poor financial decisions.

00;05;42;13 - 00;05;56;14
Dave Quak
Right. And, and and then that'd come back to bite me. And I'd be convinced that it's a great decision. Like when you're in a manic phase, you think that your ideas are brilliant. You know, you think then this is going to change the world. And some of them might change the world, but a lot of them destroy you.

00;05;56;14 - 00;05;56;23
Dave Quak
World.

00;05;56;23 - 00;05;58;02
Dave Quak
Yeah. You know.

00;05;58;05 - 00;06;14;02
Dave Quak
So like, I'll get in these manic phases and I'll be, you know, researching and and finding people who agree with me and I'll be absolutely sure and then unfortunately for my wife and my family, they've been the recipients of like, countless sales pitches.

00;06;14;02 - 00;06;14;17
Amelia Rees
Yes.

00;06;14;19 - 00;06;30;26
Dave Quak
Okay. So like a lot of, you know, a lot of guys wine and die in their life because they want to get sex later or whatever else. But for me, I'd like wine and digest because later on, like, I've got a sales pitch for you, you know, so she'd be like, oh, days for an extra nice night. And then by the end of the night, a light, a candle.

00;06;30;26 - 00;06;35;25
Dave Quak
I'll be like, yes. Don't you think it would be great if we moved to Fenerbahce?

00;06;35;28 - 00;06;37;12
Dave Quak
And she'd be like watching?

00;06;37;15 - 00;06;56;13
Dave Quak
I've done all the research. I've found a house for us. I've worked out the budget. I've found someone to rent our house while we're away. We can bring the dog. Everything sorted out. Let's move to Vanuatu, you know? And in my head, it makes sense. Everything's great. And I feel for her and the family because there's been countless, you know, sales pitches.

00;06;56;20 - 00;07;16;10
Dave Quak
But they're gracious and they're on the journey with me. But. So that's what happens when I'm manic. And then when I'm depressive, I really go from thinking my ideas can change the world. And that I'm a key player in that all the way through to I just got to get a job packing shelves. I don't want to see another person again.

00;07;16;15 - 00;07;35;29
Dave Quak
It would be awesome if I could work in a factory stuffing envelopes, you know, and just want to withdraw from the world and think, oh, anything I've achieved has been useless. Like really, as the name bipolar sounds, you really go from one to the other. And so in speaking to my psychiatrist, he's the one who diagnosed me with this after doing a lot of work.

00;07;35;29 - 00;07;54;24
Dave Quak
And I'm thankful for it, because once I had the diagnosis and I could do some research about the symptoms and some of the characteristics, it kind of made me feel like I was understood when I read the symptoms. I'm like, I do that, I do that, I do that, I do that, and it then provided a framework in order for me to then move forward.

00;07;55;02 - 00;07;58;02
Amelia Rees
Yeah. That's it. And realizing that you're not a crazy person.

00;07;58;02 - 00;08;00;05
Dave Quak
No. Because you feel like one.

00;08;00;05 - 00;08;10;08
Dave Quak
Yeah, definitely. Until you meet another bipolar person and you click with them and you're like, this guy's a genius. His ideas are fantastic. We should go on a business together. And you know.

00;08;10;10 - 00;08;11;08
Amelia Rees
You're in business.

00;08;11;10 - 00;08;12;29
Dave Quak
And that's what the.

00;08;12;29 - 00;08;37;15
Dave Quak
Amount of, you know, dead websites and ABN numbers and like, all these other things that I've set up, Amelia, it's just ridiculous. I'm constantly getting reminders from GoDaddy about a website I started five years ago, or a so it's got those side effects. But anyway, with the psychiatrist, he diagnosed me with bipolar after a big, you know, a long journey with him and and the psychologist as well.

00;08;37;18 - 00;08;58;26
Dave Quak
And then they started me on a couple of medicines, medication. One is called sodium valproate. So that is a mood stabilizer. It actually started as an epilepsy medication. And then they this was, I think back in the 60s or maybe earlier. And then they just found that it also had these, you know, positive effects on people with bipolar.

00;08;58;26 - 00;09;10;12
Dave Quak
You know, how that happens with medicine sometimes one is designed for one thing and it helps in another area. So I'm on that. And then I'm also on an antipsychotic called Seroquel.

00;09;10;14 - 00;09;10;29
Dave Quak


00;09;11;01 - 00;09;33;11
Dave Quak
Now saying that out loud is pretty confronting you know saying you're on an antipsychotic. And if you Google Seroquel it's also another, you know, quite popular medication. But I'm on 25mg a day which, which is enough to actually just bring me into a calm place of sleep that I do sleep. Because when I'm manic, I just can't sleep and don't sleep and I.

00;09;33;11 - 00;09;35;25
Dave Quak
And it just perpetuates and gets worse and worse.

00;09;35;28 - 00;09;38;09
Amelia Rees
So those medications have been game changers.

00;09;38;09 - 00;09;58;05
Dave Quak
View they have. I am so thankful to God for these medications. So it's it took a while to get there. Like the balance of like the dose. And you know that it probably took a year to figure out the balance. Yes. Before everything was sorted out. But once it's sorted out and now if I stick to the regime, everything's fantastic.

00;09;58;05 - 00;10;19;29
Dave Quak
The only thing that's difficult is it? I forget to plan ahead. And now I, you know, mess up the regime. It does affect me. So even last night we went to the cricket. My wife, she's epic, but she's just this 2020 cricket fan, and she's just such a jock. She stays up all night watching cricket. When the last test was on, she was getting up at like 2 a.m. and just watching the cricket all day.

00;10;20;01 - 00;10;39;06
Dave Quak
It's in the family two. Her grandma's a cricket jock and her dad and everyone else. Anyway, so the cricket last night, and I forgot to take my sodium valproate with me, which is the mood stabilizer. You know, I'm not manic at the moment, but I'm, like, 70% like, I'm energetic and I'm managing it, so everything is quite good.

00;10;39;06 - 00;10;55;29
Dave Quak
But I've got to watch it at this point in time in my life. And I didn't take my mood stabilizers with me, and I could feel by about 9:00 I was just getting real irritated by the people around me. And there's this kid next to me making noise. Not my kid, another kid. You know, my kids were making noise, but I've got time for them.

00;10;56;02 - 00;11;03;28
Dave Quak
You know, there's just a random kid make a noise and, you know, it's just getting. And then they had fireworks at half time. And I know people love fireworks, but I'm like, man, this is loud.

00;11;03;29 - 00;11;04;12
Amelia Rees
Yeah.

00;11;04;13 - 00;11;14;09
Dave Quak
You know, and it was just irritating. So I'm thankful for the medication. But it does have me in a place where I do I do depend on it, you know, and I'm thankful.

00;11;14;09 - 00;11;26;07
Amelia Rees
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. And I'm sort of similar. Like, I've always struggled with, anxiety and depression. And I remember when I first went on my medication, it it almost felt ungodly.

00;11;26;09 - 00;11;28;23
Dave Quak
Yeah. Okay. You're right.

00;11;28;29 - 00;11;31;04
Amelia Rees
Did did you experience anything like okay.

00;11;31;07 - 00;11;32;06
Dave Quak
So this is the thing.

00;11;32;06 - 00;11;33;16
Amelia Rees
Go and April start right now.

00;11;33;19 - 00;11;48;21
Dave Quak
Let's get there. Because the catch 22 with being a pastor. Not even just apostle. I think any Christian, any functioning Christian who loves Jesus. Yes. Is that our theology on healing and how God intervenes really affects our mental headspace when it comes to medication.

00;11;48;21 - 00;11;49;11
Amelia Rees
Yes.

00;11;49;13 - 00;12;06;11
Dave Quak
You know, because you got two ends of the spectrum, like you got people right down one side that think that anything mental health is just some like it's a demonic force that needs to be prayed over and delivered, and then you'll be set free. And then you got the other end where it's like, okay, there's not a spiritual attachment to mental health.

00;12;06;11 - 00;12;12;27
Dave Quak
It is just a, you know, medical condition. And if you have the right chemical, you know.

00;12;13;01 - 00;12;16;06
Amelia Rees
Just like diabetes, if you got diabetes, you need to take insulin.

00;12;16;08 - 00;12;37;11
Dave Quak
You know, the elements of truth, I think in both ends of the spectrum. But then there's a million areas in between as well that are really complicated to figure out, because in my life, I have seen people get healed when we pray for them, and I've seen people not get hurt when we pray for them. And I've seen people set free, and I've seen people bound, you know?

00;12;37;11 - 00;12;48;07
Dave Quak
And so for me, when I first started taking medication, okay, I was cool with it when it was anxiety and depression. Because I feel like that's a bit more of a common conversation.

00;12;48;14 - 00;12;50;14
Amelia Rees
Yeah I'm acceptable, it's a bit acceptable.

00;12;50;14 - 00;13;08;12
Dave Quak
And I think maybe people understand it a little bit more. And I think people understand that it's not something that isn't treatable. And it's and it's also not like that old idea that it's just something you have to get over or, you know, that's that stupid stuff that we dealt with 20 years ago. You know, like, I think people have a better understanding of it.

00;13;08;12 - 00;13;30;01
Dave Quak
And organizations like Beyondblue and all those guys are doing a fantastic job helping people understand mental health. But for me, it actually was when I didn't I graduated or whatever the word is when it went from being anxiety and depression medication to bipolar medication. That was really hard for me to share. So that's actually over three years ago now.

00;13;30;04 - 00;13;33;14
Dave Quak
Yeah. And I'm only now at a place where I'm able to share that.

00;13;33;18 - 00;13;34;05
Amelia Rees
Yeah.

00;13;34;07 - 00;13;49;12
Dave Quak
And I've been wrestling with why that has taken me so long. And I think a lot of it is possibly my own pride. That's one element of it. And another element of is, is I wanted to really understand it for myself before speaking about it.

00;13;49;12 - 00;13;50;01
Amelia Rees
Yes.

00;13;50;03 - 00;13;56;11
Dave Quak
And I think the third reason I didn't want to maybe share it is that my life's quite, open already.

00;13;56;11 - 00;13;56;25
Amelia Rees
It's very.

00;13;56;25 - 00;14;22;05
Dave Quak
Personal. Yeah. That's right. And so, like, it was something that I'm like, I don't know if this is for everyone yet. You know, so I had a small group of people, maybe less than five people who knew. And now it's sort of starting to trickle out and I, I you know, I also maybe didn't give people enough credit because when people find out they don't come to a place of judgment or condemnation, usually it's a place of compassion and understanding and love, you know.

00;14;22;05 - 00;14;24;09
Dave Quak
And so yeah, all of that together.

00;14;24;10 - 00;14;47;02
Amelia Rees
It's a massive, massive journey. Yeah. And it's good to hear this is the whole point of this. It's going okay. Just because we're Christians, like God heals in many different ways. You know, whether he wants that to be through, miraculous healing or through medications, you know, we've got something to learn, whatever that is. Or he wants to use us to spread the word about God and mental health, like, whatever that looks like.

00;14;47;02 - 00;14;49;09
Amelia Rees
Yeah, there's this space for that.

00;14;49;15 - 00;14;58;28
Dave Quak
That's exactly it. And I even think we can even call, you know, medication. Miraculous healing too. Like, you know, we we, we look at instant miracles as miracles. And they.

00;14;58;28 - 00;14;59;06
Amelia Rees
Are.

00;14;59;10 - 00;15;22;04
Dave Quak
Yeah. But the fact that some scientist in a lab, some even with these glasses on and petri dishes and everything, figured out that if this chemical is given to someone with this condition, it levels out their chemicals and they can live in a place of freedom and abundance. I'm like, man, God bless that scientist. Yeah, you know the unsung hero that nobody sees.

00;15;22;07 - 00;15;26;17
Dave Quak
You know, because it's never the big pharmaceutical call company giving credit to that little.

00;15;26;19 - 00;15;27;16
Amelia Rees
Yeah, the little reset.

00;15;27;17 - 00;15;37;20
Dave Quak
The little researcher who's just, you know, dug in his heels and for maybe ten, 15, 20 years trying to figure this stuff out and has. I'm thankful for that guy.

00;15;37;21 - 00;15;38;14
Amelia Rees
Yeah.

00;15;38;17 - 00;16;14;08
Dave Quak
You know and he does healing all different ways. And this is something that I found interesting in Asian even through some of my darkest times God revealed himself to be the kindest that I've ever known him. Which was really quite surprising. So about three years ago now, maybe two years ago, I fell into. Okay, so I was manic for way too long, like months and months and months and months and I hit a wall and burned out and then just fell into this dark heap for a really extended period of time in that darkness.

00;16;14;08 - 00;16;24;26
Dave Quak
I like this is how my day existed. So basically I'd get up and be like, no, man, the alarms going off, you know, you look over and because sleep was like this escape from the darkness. And I.

00;16;24;26 - 00;16;26;21
Amelia Rees
Like, I didn't get four hours like, no.

00;16;26;21 - 00;16;32;12
Dave Quak
That's not why it's not not. That's right. That's gold anyway.

00;16;32;12 - 00;16;39;03
Dave Quak
So it's like, you know, and then it to be this like, like this, I don't know, like.

00;16;39;04 - 00;16;39;27
Amelia Rees
Dread of the.

00;16;39;28 - 00;17;02;18
Dave Quak
Day, the dread of the dying man. And I look at my phone and I look at the meetings that were coming up. So I was still a pastor at this time. So once, once I hit that wall, I stop being a lecturer. I'm still a pastor. And so I'd look at my schedule and there'd be somebody to see, something to prepare, you know, just the usual in and out to being a spiritual leader.

00;17;02;20 - 00;17;29;05
Dave Quak
And I'll be like, man, I love that person, but I just want to stay in bed here, you know? But I also wanted to exercise my role as a pastor. These people, they're my family. Like the when you in a church, you don't just become like a pastor. These people, you're family with these people. Yes. So I have this, like kind of a trinity of coffee, Holy Spirit and grit just getting me through the day.

00;17;29;08 - 00;17;45;16
Dave Quak
And I'll be like, oh God, I get through the day. So I exercise my duties as best as I could. And then by maybe like 3 or 4 p.m. I'll be at home. I've got this couch. It's a reclining couch. It's amazing. Do you know man robes like it's like a bathrobe, but it's like fluffy. Yeah.

00;17;45;17 - 00;17;46;13
Amelia Rees
The fluffy. Right? You know, it's.

00;17;46;13 - 00;17;46;29
Dave Quak
Fluffy, right?

00;17;47;03 - 00;18;06;21
Dave Quak
Yeah. I'll be sitting on my couch with my man robe over my head in the dark. Kind of like is a sensory deprivation type thing. Just trying to escape from the world. Jesus, please, man, this is terrible. I'm hiding this. Can you just get me through? And then. Yeah. And then my kids would get home. And this was the hardest part, to be honest.

00;18;06;21 - 00;18;31;06
Dave Quak
Amelia, is that my wife is just the best mom. And so I'd hear her goofing around with the kids and, you know, and then if I ever heard her just hanging out with my daughter alone there, they got so many common interests, they'd be talking about a book they're reading or something I could picture in my head, her hanging out with my daughter and my son just kind of milling around with no one.

00;18;31;09 - 00;18;48;01
Dave Quak
Hanging out with him. And it really messed with my head and I didn't have the capacity. This is the craziest thing is that I just didn't have the capacity to pull the robe over my head and go and play with my son. Now there'd be some people listening saying just pull the robe over and go play with your son.

00;18;48;03 - 00;19;05;27
Dave Quak
But all those cactus man like you got on the sand like I was dark, you know, it felt physically painful to be alive. And so I get through the day and go to bed early, try to sleep. You know, I wake up at 2 a.m., 4 a.m., six. I am, you know, and then I know the alarm would go off.

00;19;05;27 - 00;19;26;17
Dave Quak
We've got to do this again on repeat. Yes, it was dark. I remember someone saying me through the process because I tried to get help from mentors and some really good guys spoke into my life, but this one man in particular said, look, your brain's going on holidays, man. Your body is in preservation mode. It's all going to come back one day.

00;19;26;18 - 00;19;52;24
Dave Quak
You're gonna be fine. And not only are you going to be fine, you're going to be thankful to God for this process. And I'm like, piss off! There is no way I am going to be thankful. This is the worst, I hate this. Fast forward a couple of years and my family and I were on a long service leave in Thailand and I went on that long service leave thinking I reckon this might be the end of me being a pastor.

00;19;52;26 - 00;20;08;26
Dave Quak
I think I've had enough, I think I've had enough people. I don't know if I've got the capacity to be a spiritual leader anymore. I'm done well on this trip and you know, a lot of the discussions Jess and I had were about whether or not I'm going to continue in ministry. Like, I was like, I can't do this anymore.

00;20;08;28 - 00;20;32;26
Dave Quak
And I remember we were it was like the 15th of January. And I remember crying out to God, we're in this little like BNB and in Bangkok, just saying, you know what? God, I am done. I can't do this anymore. I'm. And it as I said, I can't do this anymore. The sense of peace came over me and it was like God was saying, finally, you get it?

00;20;32;29 - 00;20;52;22
Dave Quak
It's like you can't do this. And that's what's been wrong. Part of the deficit to your life in Christ is that you think you can do this, that you think it's your responsibility. You think that people are following you. You think that you're their leader. You know all these things. And once I said, I can't do this anymore, it was almost like, God was like, okay, now you're ready.

00;20;52;25 - 00;21;13;25
Dave Quak
And then a couple of weeks later, I'm, I'm at home. Right? And the darkness continues still for a couple of weeks. But then I'm at home one day and I woke up, I felt awesome. It was so weird, right? I felt awesome, and I wanted to get out of bed. And I got up before the alarm. I'm like, this is so weird.

00;21;14;01 - 00;21;31;25
Dave Quak
So I just kind of pushed through the day, enjoying on the inside anything to anyone. And I'm like, wow. And then the next day, the same thing. I got up again and the darkness had lifted, you know, and then on again the next day, the darkness of lift. And then so maybe like 5 or 6 days later, I was so excited to go up to my wife.

00;21;31;25 - 00;21;41;29
Dave Quak
And I'm like, I think, I think we're good. Like, I think the darkness has lifted. And she was obviously a bit like, oh, well, I hope so. But she didn't want to count the chickens before they hatch.

00;21;41;29 - 00;21;43;16
Dave Quak
Right?

00;21;43;18 - 00;22;10;05
Dave Quak
Because she'd been journeying with me and it had lifted and the presence of God was on me. Now, this is the thing. Like even though the darkness had lifted in that capacity, still today I struggle with bipolar and the anxiety and the depression, and I've got to wrestle it through. But there was something about that two year period of darkness that almost burnt the rest of the flesh I was holding onto of me.

00;22;10;07 - 00;22;32;00
Dave Quak
And although I was swearing at that guy who said, one day I'll be thankful for this time, I actually am thankful for it, and I'll finally get it. Like I get that. And in that time as well, God really revealed his affection to me. You know, like I'd always known God since being a Christian, but not like this.

00;22;32;00 - 00;22;53;13
Dave Quak
Like he revealed a like his affection for me and his love for me and his care for me. And the fact that he doesn't just love me, but he likes me too. And he enjoys one company and anyways, he doesn't just tolerate my quirkiness or whatever he me together in my my mother's womb to be like this like.

00;22;53;13 - 00;23;12;01
Dave Quak
And I've gone from a place of knowing about God to definitely knowing him and and having his, I don't know, like I prefer his will to my will now and not out of obligation, but I actually just prefer it. And I'd actually rather hang out with him than not, and I'd rather be in his presence and I'd rather be a minister than not, you know.

00;23;12;01 - 00;23;33;20
Dave Quak
So from going from a place of thinking of hanging up the sky to when it came to being a pastor, to now being the most thankful person on the planet. To be a pastor is a miracle. And and I think that's why I want to get this sunburnt souls thing going. Well, it's because I think there's just so many people who are in a similar position where we are wrestling with our mental health.

00;23;33;20 - 00;23;46;02
Dave Quak
We love Jesus passionately, and we're just trying to figure out how that all works together. Yes. You know, and how to live fully and be broken. And how do you know how it all? It's just a mess sometimes, you know.

00;23;46;05 - 00;23;56;03
Amelia Rees
A massive mess. All right. So you've mentioned, you know how this has all impacted you and your spiritual journey. What's the sort of impact been for your family.

00;23;56;03 - 00;23;57;24
Dave Quak
For my family and your.

00;23;57;26 - 00;23;58;03
Dave Quak
Lovely.

00;23;58;03 - 00;24;21;06
Dave Quak
Wife. Oh delightful. I love my family okay. So it has been amazing and horrible and there's been tears and hugs. It's been the best and the worst. So so I'll start with yeah. So for Jess to be married to someone with my condition has so many benefits. And I'll start with those because. But like so I do bring a lot of fun to our family, you know?

00;24;21;06 - 00;24;25;00
Dave Quak
So there'll be times where I'd like, I'll go out and come home with a boat or.

00;24;25;03 - 00;24;26;22
Dave Quak
You know, and.

00;24;26;24 - 00;24;46;29
Dave Quak
Look, I know some of those things. You know, anyone who's bought a boat is like, that is the worst financial decision you can possibly make. But I buy it in the name of fun. And then we go and have fun. And we do have fun. And so, you know, there's that excitement around the family. You know, sometimes we'll be like, okay, dad's cooking dinner tonight and I'll go out for KFC and come home with that because that no one knows what to expect, you know?

00;24;46;29 - 00;25;01;16
Dave Quak
And I don't know, like, there's the good side of things and, you know, the kids, they're vibrant kids, they're amazing. Like, I really enjoy their company. Even last night at the cricket, they're just fun. They're just better than all the kids around. I'm looking at different else's. Kids can't.

00;25;01;16 - 00;25;02;02
Dave Quak
Your kids are.

00;25;02;02 - 00;25;26;06
Dave Quak
Horrible. Good, bad and one of one the kid. Jackpot. But for Jess, I like it. So it's exciting and you know, it's captivating. And you know, God's used us to do some cool stuff in ministry together. And our gifts are really complementary. You know, she's a brilliant organizer. She's a great Bible teacher. She's a prophetic person who hears from God so she can, you know, really lead.

00;25;26;08 - 00;25;50;21
Dave Quak
Not instantly. And she's an amazing woman. So but God's grace, we've been a good complementary team. I think the hard thing for Jess is that you know, and I think this is probably for a lot of people is that they do value stability and they value, like Jess values stability. She values consistency. She really values the ministry we have at our church and longevity there.

00;25;50;24 - 00;26;11;08
Dave Quak
And so when I'm in a manic place and I'm pitching all these ideas and it just puts a sense of instability in her and I'm sorry for that. I actually am really sorry for that. And I don't want to and I want to get better at, not doing that to her. But at the same time, she's a solid woman of God, so she can handle it and she can handle me.

00;26;11;13 - 00;26;30;21
Dave Quak
I'm praying that I get better with that. The instability. But at the same time, like I said, it's it's exciting as well. It's fun. When I'm low, it's not fun for Jess in that dark time when I was under my man robe, she really had to step up and carry a lot of the slack around the house, around the church, and.

00;26;30;24 - 00;26;31;24
Dave Quak


00;26;31;26 - 00;26;53;21
Dave Quak
You know, with that, she didn't do it begrudgingly. Not once did she ever say anything to make me feel condemned or guilty. She said she was gracious, you know, she was really my pastor during those years. And it's interesting. As a pastor, you don't often have a pastor, right? You don't have you know, I've got good friends and mentors, but someone who can really dissect your soul and come in and pray for you.

00;26;53;21 - 00;27;17;09
Dave Quak
And so she really function in that role. And I'm really thankful for her. I think for the kids having bipolar, I guess they've always grown up with me being me. So for them, it's how daddy's. Yes. You know, and so I, I suspect that their testimony when they're older, you always get scared of the kids testimony. I, I think their testimony will be that.

00;27;17;09 - 00;27;31;24
Dave Quak
God, God use that. And dad loved us. Dad was generous with us like a man. It doesn't take much for me to open my wallet to the kids. Like, I don't know if that's going to come back to bite me when they've got me.

00;27;31;27 - 00;27;33;29
Dave Quak
But that value of.

00;27;33;29 - 00;27;51;09
Dave Quak
Money or whatever. But like, I'm generous with them and I love them and I want to hang out with them, and I like them and, you know, like even, you know, my wife and and daughter went on a road trip a couple of weeks ago. And so it was just me and my son. So we just spent a week on a reverse vegan diet.

00;27;51;09 - 00;27;52;25
Dave Quak
Basically all we ate.

00;27;52;28 - 00;27;53;09
Dave Quak
Was.

00;27;53;09 - 00;28;13;24
Dave Quak
Animal products, you know, meat and cheese and eggs and bacon. And then it was like in the morning we get up, have a man hug, have a chat, granted each other a couple of times, a Casey at lunch. Yeah. And do our thing and you know and he love that. You know, we gained a little bit together and watched, watch Car Masters and we hung out.

00;28;13;29 - 00;28;35;04
Dave Quak
So I think that testimony will be that dad was fun. Dad love God. Dad was there for us, but he was also a bit erratic and sometimes he got he yelled at us when we probably didn't deserve it, you know? And sometimes he was irritable. I mean, they both love Jesus for themselves, so that's awesome. But I also think they'll grow up thinking, I get it, dad was epic, but he had some flaws.

00;28;35;07 - 00;28;52;23
Dave Quak
But we love him and we're glad he's in our life. And I think the last sentence is the big one that they're glad I'm in their life. And I want that to be true. I see so many men who just lose that with their kids. You know, the kids are happy not to be in their life, especially as teenagers, you know?

00;28;52;23 - 00;29;00;13
Dave Quak
Drop me up, drop me off up the street so no one sees how embarrassing. Car. Or just be quiet when we're in public, dad. Or, you know, all that stuff.

00;29;00;16 - 00;29;02;18
Amelia Rees
So kids are still happy to be seen with you.

00;29;02;20 - 00;29;04;22
Dave Quak
They are. Yeah. And I love.

00;29;04;22 - 00;29;22;12
Dave Quak
Them. Hey. And it's really cool. Like as pastor's kids we've tried not to put too much pressure on them like to look a certain way or whatever. And, and our church is really cool. The, the people at church don't treat them any different than anyone else. They just really enjoy their their time there. Yeah.

00;29;22;15 - 00;29;36;19
Amelia Rees
And have you brought the kids on the journey. Are you quite open with them about like being medicated, saying things like, I'm in manic depressive state at the moment so that they understand how to tiptoe around you a little.

00;29;36;22 - 00;29;38;08
Dave Quak
Yeah, yeah. And it's going to be the time.

00;29;38;08 - 00;29;56;12
Dave Quak
So but that's a very good question because at the start of, you know, I guess because my, my process with medication started with the anxiety and depression medication and kind of grew from there. I was able to take them on the journey, and they naturally, they see me, you know, they'll see me at 6:00 taking the sodium valproate.

00;29;56;13 - 00;30;07;16
Dave Quak
They'll see me at dinnertime. So they know I'm I'm unmedicated, but I have taken them on the journey. But okay, so my son's a legend, but he's 15, and you know that 15 year olds love to pissed.

00;30;07;19 - 00;30;10;08
Dave Quak
You know it, right? Well, you just be.

00;30;10;08 - 00;30;12;23
Dave Quak
Sitting there and all of a sudden there's a bucket on your head. Yeah. You know.

00;30;12;23 - 00;30;15;23
Dave Quak
All for fingering your finger in your.

00;30;15;23 - 00;30;39;06
Dave Quak
Ear or like, you have a drink and they'll put a cucumber in it, like 15, so you know, and, and and Josiah, he's the master of it like he's, he's next level. And I think he probably got that from his mother. Not I love Preston people too. But when I'm real manic I have to sometimes just say to the kids, look, guys, I can't handle you poking me, pushing me.

00;30;39;08 - 00;30;41;27
Dave Quak
You know, just give me a bit of bit of a wide berth.

00;30;41;29 - 00;30;42;26
Amelia Rees
Yeah.

00;30;42;29 - 00;30;43;07
Dave Quak
Yeah.

00;30;43;07 - 00;30;45;00
Amelia Rees
Yeah, but at least you saying that to them.

00;30;45;06 - 00;30;46;07
Dave Quak
Yeah. And they cool with it.

00;30;46;07 - 00;31;03;01
Amelia Rees
Yeah. And it's communication though. It's just like with anything, you know, like, I know that with my husband, if I'm having a low day, sometimes I'll just be like, I'm just having a low day. That's what I need to say. He knows that means that I'm not upset with him. If I was, I would say something and I may not even be able to pick put my finger on why I'm having a low day.

00;31;03;01 - 00;31;11;22
Amelia Rees
He just has a mutual understanding. That's right. But you have to communicate that because otherwise you overreact and then you're hurting your family or your partner or whatever.

00;31;11;24 - 00;31;18;19
Dave Quak
That's it. You did actually tell me a story the other day, Amelia, that you walked past, and he gave you a little bit of a playful but slapped.

00;31;18;19 - 00;31;20;22
Amelia Rees
Oh, yeah, that's right.

00;31;20;24 - 00;31;25;01
Dave Quak
I reacted. You got a little bit in trouble for that, didn't he? He did.

00;31;25;03 - 00;31;28;00
Amelia Rees
Because I was in a bad headspace and I hadn't told him yet.

00;31;28;08 - 00;31;32;13
Dave Quak
Yeah, that's all. But that's you. I, like you just said communication.

00;31;32;13 - 00;31;36;26
Dave Quak
If we communicate this stuff, the people we love who understand. Get it?

00;31;36;28 - 00;31;37;25
Amelia Rees
Yeah.

00;31;37;27 - 00;31;59;15
Dave Quak
This is going to be my interesting next couple of months, I think, Amelia, is that the church doesn't quite understand the extent of this. And so what I've been able to communicate with the family after us now start communicating with my faith community. Now think about this as a pastor. Okay? Imagine this for a morning. Okay, you get there at 730 to set up and a bunch of people are late.

00;31;59;17 - 00;32;15;07
Dave Quak
Or imagine this, okay, and you left far out. We're going to be running late. And then you you walk into the church and there's like cups left everywhere because whoever used the church through the wait just left cups and crap everywhere. And so you like, straight away, like agitated, you know, because you're hot and right.

00;32;15;09 - 00;32;15;24
Amelia Rees
You're freaking.

00;32;15;24 - 00;32;34;10
Dave Quak
Cups are everywhere, you know, and then people come and maybe it goes all right for a little while and you make a few coffees for people. Then the server starts and I'm up the front and I can hear the worship team playing or whatever, but I can also hear people walking in laugh and talking and standing down the back, making heaps of noise and distracting everyone.

00;32;34;12 - 00;32;50;29
Dave Quak
Maybe they're not distracting everyone, but because on many I can hear them as if they're yelling in my ear. Okay. And they don't do it to be jerks. They don't do it because they're irreverent. They love Jesus, they don't know they're doing it. And they come in laughing and they're oh well worship songs okay. And they go join in.

00;32;51;01 - 00;33;07;14
Dave Quak
Okay. Now our church, I want it to be fun and casual, so I'm not ever going to yell out at them. And you know, it's not my style. But when I'm manic, it irritates me. Right? And then I'll be preaching. And this is the funny thing is, when you're manic, you can preach quite well because you've got undeserved energy.

00;33;07;17 - 00;33;26;00
Dave Quak
As long as you hear from God and not just saying things. Yeah. Which I have to be quite careful on, I make sure I do my prep, especially when I'm manic, to make sure I'm speaking from God, not from my mania. And this was just as prophetic gift really helps to help soothe that and to help keep me in line and to help make sure I'm hearing from God and I.

00;33;26;01 - 00;33;47;15
Dave Quak
So I'll be preaching and I'll like I said earlier, I'll hear some kid, like playing with a toy and there's a teddy there that makes no noise. But they pick up the fire engine, start and you know, and then, like the parent, I'll see the parent not look over at the kid. And they just sitting there chillin. I'm like, you want to go grab that kid or just let it distract the whole world, you know?

00;33;47;15 - 00;34;03;24
Dave Quak
And then that's what I'll be thinking while I'm still preaching. Yeah. And then I'll see someone go out to the dunny. And this is how weird this is going to sound. But I'll know whether it's a number 1 or 2, because. Because in my head, there's so much going on that I was almost timed how long they were in there, and they're coming back.

00;34;03;24 - 00;34;27;05
Dave Quak
I'm like, hey, did a poo, you know what I mean? Like, and then like, it's just you gotta. And then like someone on not off. All right. Oh, you look at someone's face and you think they're just not into this at all. And that's always a problem because when you're preaching is everybody's face looks different to what they're feeling usually like I used to have a senior pastor who looked angry when you were preaching well, but it was because he was listening really well.

00;34;27;05 - 00;34;29;27
Dave Quak
So you're like, oh, dude, he's hating this.

00;34;29;29 - 00;34;44;11
Dave Quak
You know? And so, so this and then straight after church noise like that, first 20 minutes after church noise, you know, everyone's in a small room talking loud, laughing, which is amazing unless you're manic.

00;34;44;13 - 00;34;45;11
Dave Quak


00;34;45;13 - 00;35;06;27
Dave Quak
And so that'll happen. And then I'll have someone come up to me and talk to me, which is wonderful. I want to talk to people but it'll be like. And then while they're talking someone else comes and stands next to them waiting for me. Yeah. And I can see them out of my peripheral vision. So I'm like, not only am I getting spoken to here, I've got this person to talk to, and it'll happen maybe 3 or 4 times in a run.

00;35;06;28 - 00;35;25;24
Dave Quak
And nobody's doing it because they want to hurt me. They're just doing it because they love me and I love them, and we're connected. But I sometimes just want to get out of there. You know, there's been times where a manic where I just like, finish the service and then go out this snaky door and get in my car and go home.

00;35;25;26 - 00;35;43;04
Dave Quak
No one notices. And if I told them why I was doing it, I'm sure they'd be fine with it. I think I'm just at that place where I've been living it. Now I have to be living it and sharing it. Yes. And and explaining people why I'm acting like I am. There'll be times or I'm going to prayer meeting where I'll just have to step outside instead of just pushing through.

00;35;43;04 - 00;35;51;16
Dave Quak
Now I'll just step outside. Yeah. And come back. Have a breath. And I would expect that anyone else in my position would give them the concessions to do that.

00;35;51;16 - 00;35;54;10
Amelia Rees
100%. So they'll do that for me. Yeah definitely.

00;35;54;15 - 00;36;02;00
Dave Quak
You know you ask me why I haven't shared yet. The third reason was that I you know I haven't probably given people enough credit. I've gotta start giving people more credit.

00;36;02;05 - 00;36;19;06
Amelia Rees
Yeah. Because I think you'll be surprised at how people react. And it could and it's even just thinking of different strategies. So say for example, of going, okay, well, after church, Dave always goes and sits in the little back room by himself, and one person goes in and the next person waits at the door, and then he does what by.

00;36;19;09 - 00;36;20;28
Dave Quak
Well, you know, I like just just.

00;36;20;29 - 00;36;40;17
Amelia Rees
Man, that's silly example. But you know, like just managing it so that you can give as much as you know and hear from God as well. Because when you're speaking to someone in a church environment like that, they may be asking you like a really deep personal question and you're just trying to trying to focus on them without all the mess in the background, like how you meant to hear from God when your mind is so wild.

00;36;40;17 - 00;36;40;27
Dave Quak
Like, that's.

00;36;40;27 - 00;36;48;07
Amelia Rees
Right, you know? So yeah. So it's actually setting up strategies to be able to enable you to do what you need to do.

00;36;48;07 - 00;37;01;04
Dave Quak
Exactly. And okay, so say someone came with wheelchair rolled into church and we didn't move a couple of chairs so they could roll into it, into the congregation. Like we'd be like, guys, you guys are being jerks.

00;37;01;04 - 00;37;02;04
Amelia Rees
Yes.

00;37;02;07 - 00;37;11;27
Dave Quak
Help them out. It's exactly the same principle, except you can't see. And I think that's where we where there's some deficits, I think in in the way we, we think about this.

00;37;11;29 - 00;37;12;17
Dave Quak


00;37;12;19 - 00;37;14;25
Amelia Rees
Yeah. So what's going to be your strategy then.

00;37;14;25 - 00;37;17;04
Dave Quak
Yeah. That's the question. Yeah.

00;37;17;06 - 00;37;20;29
Dave Quak
Hopefully you got the answer. You got the answer. Oops.

00;37;21;01 - 00;37;24;24
Amelia Rees
Just be like oh hey by the way I got this podcast. You guys listen to it. Yeah listen to.

00;37;24;24 - 00;37;25;08
Dave Quak
This.

00;37;25;11 - 00;37;26;06
Amelia Rees
That's it. Full stop.

00;37;26;06 - 00;37;50;01
Dave Quak
Yeah that's right. Look, the strategy is to to really start normalizing everything in my life and sharing it. Yeah. Getting guests on. I want to hear from people who have lived, experience, like yourself and others. I want to I want to interview professionals. I want to talk to people who understand mental health, who are pastors, who are even theologians or psychiatrists or whoever.

00;37;50;01 - 00;38;26;23
Dave Quak
I can get to have the conversation about faith and spirituality. You know, faith, like knowing Jesus is the best. Like knowing him, knowing he him intimately and having a personal relationship with him and it not being about what you do or don't do, but about who you are in Christ. And I want people to understand that they can know Christ, that they can have intimacy with him, and also have things going on upstairs that aren't ideal and that God isn't punishing them and that he it's not a result of their, you know, sin or his.

00;38;26;25 - 00;39;01;15
Dave Quak
And I just yeah, I'd love to dispel some myths. I'd love to be an encouragement to people. I'd like to have fun. I know that sounds strange, but sometimes, like whenever you talk about mental health and mental illness, it's like everyone just like puckers up. It's like, you know, there's no room for jovial ness. Now, look, I'm not saying this because I want to minimize the importance of chatting about mental illness, but sometimes the only way I can handle my life is to laugh about it and to be irreverent and to point out the stupidity and the fallacy and the craziness of it all.

00;39;01;17 - 00;39;10;11
Dave Quak
You know, and so I want to open that forum, I want to be able to chat to people who are real and raw and, and and amazing and crazy and messed up and brilliant.

00;39;10;11 - 00;39;11;00
Amelia Rees
Because we all are.

00;39;11;03 - 00;39;25;03
Dave Quak
That's exactly right. That's right. See, like, mental health doesn't just affect people with mental illness. It affects almost the whole population because we all know somebody who's struggling. Most of us, if we're honest, are struggling mentally somehow.

00;39;25;06 - 00;39;25;22
Dave Quak
Whether it be.

00;39;25;22 - 00;39;27;23
Amelia Rees
Stress, have at some stage in their life that's.

00;39;27;23 - 00;39;48;26
Dave Quak
Exactly they'll burn out of stress or whatever, overworked. We're like completely consumed with information and bombarded like it's not good for us. We take no time to rest like it's not a healthy way to live. And so if we could do anything to facilitate discussion around making life better.

00;39;48;29 - 00;39;49;16
Dave Quak


00;39;49;18 - 00;39;58;15
Dave Quak
Like just better. Better for people who are struggling and helping people actually doing something with our faith. Then I'm all in on that.

00;39;58;15 - 00;40;00;24
Amelia Rees
Yeah, yeah, 100%. And that's what God want for.

00;40;00;24 - 00;40;01;07
Dave Quak
Us, I think.

00;40;01;07 - 00;40;11;01
Amelia Rees
So, you know, he wants you to find that peace, but also be true to who you are. And like you said, how he made you. There's no one really talking about that sort of balance between spirituality and mental health.

00;40;11;02 - 00;40;19;02
Dave Quak
I don't think there is. I've done so much research over the last few months in getting ready for this day.

00;40;19;04 - 00;40;21;06
Dave Quak
The mania paid off, right?

00;40;21;06 - 00;40;28;18
Dave Quak
So I was able to get through a lot of content very quickly. But there's a few guys in the States and there's a few guys down in Sydney and Melbourne.

00;40;28;20 - 00;40;31;00
Dave Quak
And there's there are people, but not.

00;40;31;03 - 00;40;49;09
Dave Quak
I don't think it's to the scale that it needs to be. You know, people are writing articles, people are doing seminars and this some great people around. But I'd love to push this into the forefront of the church. And I know that's audacious. But we I'll, I'll rattle and knock on every door to try to get this into people's hands.

00;40;49;09 - 00;40;50;07
Dave Quak
Hey, 100%.

00;40;50;10 - 00;41;02;09
Amelia Rees
And even as a resource just for other pastors, if someone in their congregation is struggling with this to, yeah, you know, facilitate them through the service so they can actually be there on a Sunday and enjoy it as well.

00;41;02;10 - 00;41;03;12
Dave Quak
Well that's it.

00;41;03;14 - 00;41;21;27
Dave Quak
Well, imagine this. Imagine if a church understood that if a certain person gets triggered during the service and they stand up down the back and stretch that, that's okay. Like it's so rigid, right? Like or if they have to lay down on the ground or if they have to like, I don't know, it's yeah, it's like, can I put a blanket over the head whatever.

00;41;21;28 - 00;41;22;08
Dave Quak
Yeah.

00;41;22;12 - 00;41;32;19
Dave Quak
You know, like I yeah, I don't know. I just think there's so many more people who would enjoy faith, community if people understood people outside the box.

00;41;32;19 - 00;41;33;26
Amelia Rees
Yeah, 100%.

00;41;33;26 - 00;41;35;21
Dave Quak
Yeah. The secret geniuses are reckon.

00;41;35;23 - 00;41;36;15
Dave Quak
Sometimes.

00;41;36;15 - 00;41;37;22
Dave Quak
Bipolar is a superpower.

00;41;37;27 - 00;41;38;06
Dave Quak
I mean.

00;41;38;06 - 00;41;49;14
Dave Quak
Sometimes it's a cripplingly so when I'm it. But then other times I'm like, okay, this paid off. So and I just think there's a lot of people with mental illness who have got gifts that aren't being used.

00;41;49;16 - 00;41;49;22
Dave Quak


00;41;49;27 - 00;41;54;17
Amelia Rees
And even what that means for spiritual gifts, along with, and how what that's a whole.

00;41;54;19 - 00;42;22;15
Dave Quak
Oh I can't wait to talk about that. I can't wait to chat about that. And how like all the personality assessments like the Enneagram and all those sort of things, how they fit with, you know, mental illness and faith. And there's so many topics I want to cover I'd love to cover. I've got a friend who's a music therapist, and I want to interview her and talk about almost like, you know, with King Saul when he was tormented and he was thrown spears of people, and he was enraged and he was angry and music calmed him down.

00;42;22;17 - 00;42;42;24
Dave Quak
You know, we've got to explore things like that. What's the role of music in mental health and spirituality in all facets? I want to get some fit people on here. Now. That's not going to be my forte because I am lazy. But you know, I want to get some athletes on who understand this stuff and talk about the biological, you know, benefits of exercise and diet.

00;42;42;24 - 00;42;46;04
Dave Quak
And, so many areas need to be explored. And this is.

00;42;46;04 - 00;42;48;17
Amelia Rees
Going to help you on your journey as well. Yeah. It is. You know.

00;42;48;23 - 00;42;49;04
Dave Quak
It's. Yeah.

00;42;49;05 - 00;42;49;26
Amelia Rees
Awesome.

00;42;49;29 - 00;42;53;01
Dave Quak
Yeah. I haven't felt this excited for a very long time. It's good because.

00;42;53;01 - 00;42;53;23
Amelia Rees
It's your eyes.

00;42;53;23 - 00;43;12;23
Dave Quak
You're sparkling I love it I love it, I do. I was super encouraged when I first put it out, that this was starting and I don't quite know how it's going to morph, but I was super encouraged with the amount of texts and feedback I got from people saying, I'm in. I'm like, this is something I've been praying for.

00;43;12;23 - 00;43;31;16
Dave Quak
I need something like this. Let me know if I can help. Let me know if I can participate, please. You know, so I just want to thank people in advance who get behind this. I think this is an initiative that I think will help people at the moment. I'm quite blessed. I got, you know, I work three and a half days a week, three days at church and half a day in another role.

00;43;31;16 - 00;43;36;26
Dave Quak
Gives me another day to put into this. So I'm just going to volunteer my day a week and just see what God does with it.

00;43;37;01 - 00;43;39;22
Amelia Rees
Yeah. Good on you. It's it's taken some balls.

00;43;39;28 - 00;43;46;12
Dave Quak
Yeah. Thank you. No, I appreciate it. It's taken me 43 years to grow. I'm so.

00;43;46;15 - 00;43;48;23
Dave Quak
Now. But it's time. It's time. So. Yeah.

00;43;48;23 - 00;43;51;16
Amelia Rees
But there's nothing to hide. There's not, there's not. And I.

00;43;51;16 - 00;43;52;00
Dave Quak
Think it's really.

00;43;52;00 - 00;44;01;01
Amelia Rees
Not part of the beauty of it. It's really stepping out and be like, well, okay, what am I hiding from? Yeah. Nothing. And be confident. Yeah. That's it. I'm medicated. I've got the load behind me. What can go.

00;44;01;01 - 00;44;05;01
Dave Quak
Wrong? Yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah. So I let's see if I'm still here in a year. Amelia. Yeah.

00;44;05;01 - 00;44;07;11
Dave Quak
We'll say thank you so.

00;44;07;11 - 00;44;08;09
Dave Quak
Much for the chat.

00;44;08;09 - 00;44;23;24
Amelia Rees
You are most welcome. Thank you. It's such a pleasure to, well, want to be on that journey with you and. Yeah. Have you share your story with me even before this? But to facilitate this for you so that you can get your message out, there's awesome. And it's an honor to be here. Interviewer.

00;44;23;26 - 00;44;25;19
Dave Quak
Love. Yeah. Thank you so much.

00;44;25;21 - 00;44;29;22
Dave Quak
Thanks.

00;44;29;24 - 00;44;49;29
Dave Quak
For more candid conversations on faith and mental well-being, check out some benzos.com. You can subscribe to our podcast on any major provider, or contact us directly to book us to preach or speak of that. Souls is a faith based ministry, and we want to thank everybody so far for their generous support. If you want to get behind us, pray.

00;44;49;29 - 00;45;03;01
Dave Quak
Our message reaches the ears of those that need to hear it. Feel free to donate financially online, but if you feel obliged or manipulated to give you better off sharing a loved one a coffee instead. I'm Dave Clark from Sunburned Souls.