Finding God in Darkness: 3 Psalms of Lament for Mental Suffering

00;00;01;28 - 00;00;33;09
Dave Quak 
Welcome to Sunburnt Souls. I'm Dave Quak and on this show we speak about life and faith and our mental well-being. And today we are going to get dark. We're going to talk about what it's like when life feels crap, where it feels like everything's gone down the toilet, where people are driving you insane, where you're driving yourself insane, where it feels like God is even against you himself or something in the spiritual realms up and everything's just falling apart.

00;00;33;11 - 00;00;51;23
Dave Quak 
Maybe you've had this feeling yourself. Maybe you've felt like chucking your hands in the air and just declaring, this is garbage and walking away. You know, maybe it felt suicidal, or maybe you felt broken, or maybe you haven't felt suicidal, but you haven't felt like you want to live either. It's like you don't want to die. You don't want to live.

00;00;51;23 - 00;01;12;16
Dave Quak 
It's just somewhere in the dark middle. I know I felt that way in the podcast. So far, I've shared a lot more about my mania when it comes to my bipolar than anything else, but you know, the other end to bipolar is the depression side where you feel broken and mistreated and and dark and that things are against you and that really things are terrible.

00;01;12;24 - 00;01;42;22
Dave Quak 
And today, we're going to lean into that conversation and explore what the Bible has to say to. And for people who feel like life is a mess. Over the last couple of weeks, I've changed medication, which is awesome so far. So about four weeks ago, I started taking lithium, which is an old medication. It's been around since 1959, and lithium is really good at reducing the manic episodes, which I've needed because in my manic episodes is where I usually do most damage to my family or myself.

00;01;42;23 - 00;02;10;28
Dave Quak 
It's where I don't really think clearly. It's also where I create more angst around the home and inadvertently do damage to the children, which I hate about myself in the manic phases. So the lithium is really helped with that. It's helped reduce the mania. But what it's done is also brought the baseline depression down as well. So if you can imagine where I was like a wave, like a sound wave, it's almost like the waves are the same size, but just down a few notches.

00;02;11;01 - 00;02;26;11
Dave Quak 
So the highs on is high, but the lows are a bit lower. And so at the moment I'm really low and I've been around a lot of people who are really low at the moment. I feel like there's a fair bit of spiritual warfare at the moment, and it feels like there's like this depression over myself and over my family.

00;02;26;17 - 00;02;47;04
Dave Quak 
And so what we're going to do today is explore some psalms of lament. Okay, you might not have heard of the phrase Psalms of lament. Maybe you have, but about a third of the Psalms are written and put under this genre as psalms of lament, and basically they're songs written by people when they're in a place of brokenness and darkness, and they're trying to get restoration with God.

00;02;47;11 - 00;03;11;02
Dave Quak 
Around about one third of the Psalms are written as lament psalms. Some are individual and some are culprits, and these are being practiced by people for thousands of years, and they're practiced by people who want to go out in a field and have it out with God, go out and just let it fly. I don't know if you've ever found this, but sometimes when we bottle things up, you know, we start letting it fly and then it just continues.

00;03;11;02 - 00;03;26;19
Dave Quak 
It's almost like the dam breaks and we start and then we just keep going and going and going. And I essentially think this is a good thing, because we're built to lament and we're built to connect with God. And the Psalms lament are actually a gift for us to train us in how to connect to God when we're broken.

00;03;26;19 - 00;03;50;03
Dave Quak 
But so often in our sanitized Western Christianity, we don't let it fly with God because we're afraid of being irreverent or we're afraid of being disrespectful. And I get that we don't want to be irreverent or disrespectful, but I also don't want to be sanitized in my relationship with God or watered down in my relationship with God, where I can't come to him with everything, including my brokenness, and let it fly to rise.

00;03;50;03 - 00;04;14;29
Dave Quak 
For those who need to draw near to God, even though they feel broken and get his restoration and peace. Today's for those who are struggling and in the moment, needing some help. So what we're going to do is look at three different psalms. Each of these psalms serves a different purpose. All of these Psalms are designed to bring us from brokenness to restoration at the hands of something happening against us.

00;04;15;02 - 00;04;38;14
Dave Quak 
Now, I don't know if it's the same with you, but in my life, it usually happens that when I'm broken, it's because of the actions of myself or of somebody else, or of God himself, or the supernatural realm. I feel like we usually struggle at the hands of our own actions, or the actions of somebody else, or the actions of God himself.

00;04;38;17 - 00;04;56;17
Dave Quak 
And so what we're going to do is look at three different psalms of lament that address those three different scenarios. And what I want you to do is grab a Bible, pause this, go grab a Bible. I'm going to be reading from the ESV, but you can read from whichever version. And we're going to first look at Psalm 51, which is a very common psalm.

00;04;56;17 - 00;05;21;02
Dave Quak 
And it's all about King David. When he ruins his own life, he's in darkness and despair at the hands of his own actions. I stuff up a lot. Maybe you stuff up too. I stuff up enough that I need to know how to get from brokenness to restoration at the hands of my own actions. And Psalm 51 is a really helpful psalm for that reason.

00;05;21;04 - 00;05;39;15
Dave Quak 
In case you don't know the context, King David was supposed to be out at war. Okay? It was the time when kings go off to war and instead of being out to war, he's walking around on the rooftop of his palace and he sees a beautiful naked woman bathing. Her name's Sheba, and he summons her and he has sex with her.

00;05;39;17 - 00;06;03;23
Dave Quak 
Some people, you know, speculate that he raped her because she has no recompense, like she doesn't have any kind of, like, way to say no, because he's the king and he had autonomy. So he has sex with Bathsheba. She falls pregnant. And in order to try to cover up the pregnancy, he ends up killing her husband. It's in the book of two Samuel 11 if you want to read it yourself.

00;06;03;26 - 00;06;34;06
Dave Quak 
But essentially that's the essence of the problem. Now, I've never had an affair, but I know what it's like to stuff up is in a place where he's come to his senses, realized he's messed up, realize he's let down people in God, and he comes to God. Psalm 51 verse one and says, have mercy on me, oh God, according to your steadfast love, according to your abundant mercy, blot out my transgressions.

00;06;34;08 - 00;07;00;24
Dave Quak 
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. What I love about this is that David doesn't come trying to get free on his own merit or his own ability, but he comes in, he says, have mercy on me, Lord, according to your steadfast love, according to your abundant mercy. One of the big things, when we stuff up and cause ourselves pain is when we come back to God.

00;07;00;24 - 00;07;26;04
Dave Quak 
We've got to realize that it's about his grace and mercy that gets us set free. Because when you've really stuffed up, you know that there's nothing you can do to get set free and you can wallow in the darkness and beat yourself up. Or you can go to God and plead for his forgiveness. One of the things that blows my mind when I come before God once I've messed things up, when I've ruined my life, is that he responds to my brokenness with his grace.

00;07;26;07 - 00;07;52;13
Dave Quak 
He doesn't chastise me or come down on me, or call me an idiot or make things worse. All of those thoughts are already gone through my head because I know I've messed up. What he does instead is bring grace and restoration. When we stuff up. When we experience darkness at the hands of our own stupidity, we need to come to God and ask for his redemption because there's nothing we can do to bring reconciliation.

00;07;52;15 - 00;08;09;22
Dave Quak 
Yes, we should and can apologize to the person we hurt. If we hurt somebody else, yes, we shouldn't use the license that we're forgiven to go and keep doing the same thing over and over again. But we need to come and realize that we're stuffed without the grace of God. I want you to go read the whole psalm.

00;08;09;29 - 00;08;39;20
Dave Quak 
The. My favorite verse is in verse ten when David prays, create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. I think one thing that's super important to remember is that King David represents all of us.

00;08;39;22 - 00;09;00;12
Dave Quak 
He was a man after God's own heart who also had an affair, who also murdered somebody. If you're a believer listening to this, just remember soberly that you're not exempt from extreme stupidity. You know, I've met many Christians who've had of is just like David. I know Christians that are addicted to porn and alcohol and drugs and sex.

00;09;00;14 - 00;09;17;09
Dave Quak 
The other day I was talking to a mate about a game show we wanted to invent, and basically we wanted to like, set it up so we would pay people to do something they would never normally do, you know? And you could start with silly things like at the start, like, you know, doing a dance in public or a nudie run or something.

00;09;17;16 - 00;09;35;17
Dave Quak 
Then it got a bit dark, because then we started talking about how much it would cost to do something outlandish, like pushing old man off a pier into the ocean, or kidnap somebody's dog for ransom, or drive by and shoot somebody with an airsoft or a gel blaster. And what we found in the discussion was that most people had a price.

00;09;35;22 - 00;10;02;02
Dave Quak 
And think about your own life, okay, so you wouldn't push an old man into the ocean for 200 bucks, but what about for 5000 bucks or 100,000 bucks or 200,000 bucks? Like, what about for an entire brand new house in this crazy housing climate market? Maybe you'd be tempted then. Hopefully not. But it's a good illustration that our capacity for destruction of self is pretty big.

00;10;02;05 - 00;10;27;12
Dave Quak 
So when we look at Psalms like Psalm 51, it's not too big of a stretch to apply that to ourselves, which is actually, and ironically, really good news because if David was this broken and we are two, then we can also get free when we mess things up. If you can come towards God and say, God, I've stuffed up, have mercy on me, and then pray that he would create in you a new heart and a clean heart and renew all your brokenness.

00;10;27;15 - 00;10;48;23
Dave Quak 
That's the way to go from darkness to light. If you've experience brokenness at the hands of your own stupid actions. So that's number one. Number two, what do you do if your pain and hardship is caused by the actions of somebody else? What do you do if your family members let you down or your friends are not there for you?

00;10;48;23 - 00;11;15;11
Dave Quak 
Or even worse, it's not that they're just not there for you, but they actively hurt you, or ignore you, or miss your cries for help, or misunderstand you and treat you poorly based on something you did. But they misunderstood. I mean, what do you do when you are in darkness at the hands of somebody else? You know, we stuff up ourselves, but also other people hurt us, and there's trauma that we need to deal with, and there's brokenness that we need to deal with.

00;11;15;14 - 00;11;36;21
Dave Quak 
Some of us had horrible childhoods. Some of us had toxic spouses or bully bosses. I mean, the list goes on and on. Well, once again, King David knew what it was like to be in turmoil at the hands of somebody else. In Psalm three, we find King David running for his life because his own son wants to kill him.

00;11;36;23 - 00;12;01;18
Dave Quak 
Now, I've had some family issues, but my own son doesn't want to kill me. Sometimes he's angry at me. Sometimes we disagree. But no one in our family has gotten to a place where it's like, dude, we want this person dead. But it's a good example that anything up to this is still redeemable by God. Psalm three is a psalm of lament where King David just lets it fly before God.

00;12;01;20 - 00;12;28;22
Dave Quak 
He's stuffed, he needs help, and he goes to God for restoration. Psalm three verse one says, O Lord, how many of my foes, many are rising up against me? Many is saying of my soul, there is no salvation for him in God. So his accusers are saying, you know what? King David's fallen away from the kingdom. Surely he's not worthy of being a king if his own son wants him dead.

00;12;28;25 - 00;12;49;10
Dave Quak 
That's the line of thinking the people who were coming against David had. So David starts with his complaint in verse one and two, and then in verse three he says, but you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy hill.

00;12;49;13 - 00;13;26;05
Dave Quak 
He goes pretty quickly in this psalm from expressing his disgust and dismay at the situation, and then calling out to God, verse five, he says, I lay down and slept. I woke again for the Lord sustain me. I will not be afraid of many thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around. What we see here is the exponential grief that David's experiencing, because not only is his son trying to kill him, but this son Absalom, was really persuasive, and he was also persuading other people to come against David.

00;13;26;08 - 00;13;46;18
Dave Quak 
So it was like there was a person against him who was then leading other people against him. But what I find fascinating in this passage is that he says that he was able to sleep. Verse five, I lie down and sleep. I woke again for the Lord sustain me. I don't know about you, but when I am gone through hard stuff, the last thing I'm good at is sleep.

00;13;46;20 - 00;14;08;22
Dave Quak 
I get nightmares, a grandma, teeth. I wake up exhausted. But David's declaring here that in the power of God, when people are against him, he can still rest because God is the one who sustains him. And then in verse seven he summons the Lord to move, and he says, arise, O Lord, save me. I'm my God, for you strike all my enemies on the cheek.

00;14;08;25 - 00;14;33;29
Dave Quak 
You break the teeth of the wicked. Salvation belongs to the Lord. Your blessing be on your people. David's expecting God to move. David had lived long enough in his relationship with the Holy Spirit that he expected God to move when people were against him. I don't know how you go with your relationship with God when people are against you, but we can learn from King David from Psalm three.

00;14;34;02 - 00;14;58;05
Dave Quak 
What we see is that he trained himself in the art of getting restoration. He trained himself in trusting God, and it's not like he just pretended nothing was wrong. He laid down his burdens before God, but he trusted God to intervene. I don't know where you're at, but if you've got people against you and you're feeling pain, whether it be someone against you now or in the past, God actually can bring restoration.

00;14;58;09 - 00;15;18;06
Dave Quak 
Yeah, I'm not saying you shouldn't get counseling or go on medication if your GP and psychiatrist say so, but there's also restoration to be found in God and you can draw near to him. I often say on this podcast that mental illness is both spiritual and biological. And so yeah, you've got to fight with the biological weapons, but you also got to fight with the spiritual weapons, too.

00;15;18;10 - 00;15;41;21
Dave Quak 
So maybe you want to write a psalm of lament. Follow the pattern of Psalm three. You may even find that in writing a Psalm of lament, you may be reminded of all the things that God has set you free from. Absolutely. Feel free to express your grievances and write everything down before the Lord. He is open for every discussion, but in doing so, you'll probably be reminded of the things you've been set free from.

00;15;41;23 - 00;16;06;05
Dave Quak 
I know when I'm struggling with somebody, I think about all the somebodies from the past that I'm either reconciled with now, or at least I've forgiven. And there's no malice anymore. As much as our capacity for brokenness and stupidity is pretty big, God's capacity for making things right and restoring relationship, it's even bigger. So I have a crack at writing a psalm of lament, and see if it helps you process some of your brokenness.

00;16;06;08 - 00;16;32;05
Dave Quak 
And then lastly, Psalm 88. This is the quintessential psalm of lament. If you've got an issue with God, if you feel like God has let you down, if you feel like he has ruined your life, if you feel like he's not acting where he could act or he isn't intervening where he should, or that he's not acting in the character of his goodness, and you want to figure out what the heck is going on.

00;16;32;05 - 00;16;52;28
Dave Quak 
Psalm 88 is a really good psalm for that. Basically, this psalm is a psalm of lament where the sons of Chora, which were a group of people who wrote some of the Psalms, come before God and acknowledge that they are staffed and they take God to task. And it's in the Bible, which means we're allowed to do so.

00;16;52;28 - 00;17;18;02
Dave Quak 
To see. I'm not an advocate of swearing at God or being disrespectful, but I'm also not an advocate of having a shallow relationship with God. I want to be able to come before God and speak to him in every level, on any subject, in the depths of my soul. So let's go through Psalm 88. If you feel like your life is hard at the moment at the hands of God Himself, hopefully this gives you a framework to respond to God.

00;17;18;05 - 00;17;39;09
Dave Quak 
So the Psalm starts verse one by saying, O Lord God of my salvation, I cry out day and night before you. Let my prayers come before you incline your ears to my cry. I think this sets a really good framework for the psalm because they're saying, look, I am crying out day and night. You ever felt like that?

00;17;39;11 - 00;18;06;05
Dave Quak 
Like you're constantly asking God to intervene and it doesn't seem like he's listening? Well, that's where these guys were. Verse three. For my soul is full of troubles and my life draws near to Sheol or death. I'm counted among those who go down to the pit. I'm like a man who has no strength, like the one set loose among the dead.

00;18;06;07 - 00;18;31;15
Dave Quak 
Like the one slain that lie in the grave. Like those whom you remember no more. For they are cut off from your hand. You have put me in the depths of the pit. In the regions dark and deep. Your wrath lies heavy upon me, and you have overwhelmed me with all your ways. This is a Psalm to God.

00;18;31;17 - 00;18;56;01
Dave Quak 
If you've ever felt this way and want to express it to God, that's okay. This person is saying, my soul is full of troubles, I feel dead, I feel like I belong in the grave. My life feels like a pit. It is dark, it is deep. And your wrath lies heavy upon me, right? That's what he feels. Doesn't necessarily mean it's true.

00;18;56;03 - 00;19;26;04
Dave Quak 
But that's what he feels. And he feels liberty to cry that out before God. Maybe you've felt like God has put you in the pit. Maybe you feel like his wrath is against you. Like it says here. Verse eight says, you have caused my companions to shun me. You have made me a horror to them. So he's saying, God, my companions or my friends are against me and you've done it.

00;19;26;06 - 00;19;48;25
Dave Quak 
You've turned my friends against me. You've turned my family against me. This is on you. That's what he's saying. I am shut in so that I cannot escape. My eyes grow dim through sorrow. I don't know if you've ever felt sorrow to the point that you feel like your eyes grow dim. I think they grow dim. Because you've cried yourself into a place where your eyes hurt.

00;19;48;28 - 00;20;17;12
Dave Quak 
That's what I think that metaphor is saying. Every day I call upon you, I spread out my hands before you. Verse ten do you work wonders for the dead? Do the departed rise up to praise you? Is your steadfast love declared to the grace or your faithfulness in Abaddon? Are your wonders? None in the darkness or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness.

00;20;17;15 - 00;20;39;23
Dave Quak 
Basically, the psalmist is saying, God, your works mean nothing here. It's almost like you don't move here in the dark. It's like there's no presence of God here. And I feel absolutely alone. Verse 13 says, but I, O Lord, cry to you in the morning. My prayer comes before you, O Lord, why do you cast my soul away?

00;20;39;25 - 00;20;58;09
Dave Quak 
Why do you hide your face from me? All right, that's a good question. I don't know if you've ever prayed or, you know, tried to run to God, and it feels like he's hiding his face from you. It's a terrible thing. I struggle when I'm trying to get close to people I love, and they seem disinterested in reciprocal love.

00;20;58;12 - 00;21;21;03
Dave Quak 
It feels like that's the pain this psalmist is carrying right now towards God. It's like I'm running to you. Why do you keep running away from me? Verse 15, afflicted and close to death from my youth up I suffer your terrors. I am helpless. He's saying, look, even since I was a kid, it's felt like this. Have you ever felt like that?

00;21;21;04 - 00;21;42;27
Dave Quak 
You're walking in sorrow for a long time. Like, do you ever feel older than you are because of the grief and the trauma and the pain you've carried? I know I do. I'm 43 and sometimes I feel about 80 because my body and my mind and my soul is fatigued from carrying darkness. That's what this psalmist is going on about here.

00;21;42;29 - 00;22;11;24
Dave Quak 
Verse 16, your wrath has swept over me. Your dreadful assaults destroy me. They surround me like a flood. All day long they close in on me together. You have caused my beloved and friend to shun me. My companions have become darkness. Or you might be more used to the NIV that says darkness is my only friend. He's saying, do you know what I feel?

00;22;11;24 - 00;22;36;01
Dave Quak 
None of your presence. I feel no joy in anything else. My only friend is darkness. Sometimes I felt like my consistent friend is darkness too, that all I have to work with is this heaviness that never lifts. And sometimes I get temporary relief, but it's always in the background, ready to sink me back down into the depths. That's what this Psalms about.

00;22;36;01 - 00;22;57;13
Dave Quak 
It's a it's it's a psalm of the depths. It's out of the depths. The psalmist is crying out of brokenness and out of a broken heart and a crushed spirit, looking for reprieve and not getting it. That's what it can feel like when you're depressed and crushed. These three psalms of lament train us from going from brokenness to restoration.

00;22;57;15 - 00;23;21;24
Dave Quak 
At the hands of ourselves and others, and God Himself. One of the problems with life this side of eternity is that this pain is going to keep happening. You're going to keep letting yourself down. People are gonna keep hurting you. And you may feel like God hasn't got your back even when he does well. The only permanent solution to this is actually relationship with Jesus, because here's how it works.

00;23;21;24 - 00;23;42;27
Dave Quak 
Okay, so you're going to let yourself down. And if you've got your identity in your own ability to achieve things this side of eternity, you're going to be disappointed because you'll always fall short of your own expectations. You will never be kind enough to yourself. You'll never satisfy your own moral compass. You may not even have the money you need or the career you aspire to.

00;23;42;29 - 00;24;05;05
Dave Quak 
But when you have a relationship with Jesus, all of that becomes secondary. Because the way it works in my life is that I will continue to stuff up every single day. I'll get up and I'll be a less than perfect husband, and I'll be a subpar dad, and I'll stuff up all my morality and I'll scream at someone in the in the traffic and by my own standards, I will not be good enough.

00;24;05;08 - 00;24;33;07
Dave Quak 
But by the standards of God, because of Jesus and his relationship with me, I'm no longer seeing through the eyes of my actions, or my frailties or my failings. I am seen as a Son of God, a career with Christ that in my relationship with Jesus I become like Jesus brother. And God no longer looks at me as a stuffed up or an idiot, or an angry person, but he looks at me as a son.

00;24;33;12 - 00;24;54;16
Dave Quak 
If you want restoration of God when you stuff up at the hands of your own stupid actions, it is only found in Christ in his gift of grace to you. Real restoration comes in a relationship with Jesus where yes, you stuff up and yes, you still feel remorse, but it no longer separates you from God and no longer defines you as a person.

00;24;54;19 - 00;25;29;10
Dave Quak 
Secondly, if you're experiencing pain at the hands of somebody else, that'll still keep happening if you know Jesus. But the difference will be that that person's actions won't be ultimate in your life anymore. They'll affect you, they'll hurt you, but they won't define you because your proximity to God is what will define you. Not only will their actions start losing their power and potency, but you might even get to a place where you not only forgive those who have come against you, but you pray for their blessing where you're really set free.

00;25;29;13 - 00;25;57;05
Dave Quak 
It's a miracle that God can only do by his power, and you should do it in consultation with psychology and medical help and whatever else you need. But imagine a life where you can live free from the actions of other people affecting you to your core that can be found in Christ. And I'm not saying it's a simplistic transaction where you just take a box and everything in your life is going to be sweet, but instead of doing it by yourself, you do it with Jesus.

00;25;57;07 - 00;26;22;20
Dave Quak 
And then lastly, if you feel like your life is terrible at the hands of God Himself, when you have a relationship with Jesus, when you actually accept that he reconciles you to God, then you can trust that God's actions are in line with his purposes for your life. The Word of God says that all things work together for the good of those who love him, and are called according to his purposes.

00;26;22;22 - 00;26;39;20
Dave Quak 
And it doesn't mean that everything, like I've said already, it doesn't mean everything's going to be hunky dory and sweet. There are still going to be struggles, there are still going to be brokenness. But you'll start to trust that when life is hard, it's not God punishing you. And when people are against you, it's not because God set them against you.

00;26;39;22 - 00;27;03;25
Dave Quak 
My take on this is that hard things are happening, bad things happen, brokenness exists, and when those things happen, God uses them to redeem you for his purposes. Whether he sends them, allows them or drains them or whatever. I don't know, man. That's beyond my pay grade. But all I know is that bad crap happens. And when it does, God's master plan is redemption.

00;27;03;27 - 00;27;23;21
Dave Quak 
I've got a friend who experienced darkness for at least a decade because she desperately wanted to be a mama bear, and so her and her husband were trying to have kids. And over that decade, they had six miscarriages. And every time they got pregnant, there was that roller coaster ride of, you know, the excitement and the joy that there could be a bubble coming.

00;27;23;21 - 00;27;48;27
Dave Quak 
But then whether it be a month or two months or three months down the track, the inevitable heartbreak of the baby dying and the the miscarriage happening, and then the heartbreak of, you know, having to start again, and whether or not there's the capacity to try again. And you know, when, when you're going through that kind of darkness, it feels divine, like it does feel like you've got some sort of issue with God.

00;27;48;29 - 00;28;12;20
Dave Quak 
There's a biological side and there's conditions this side of eternity that make it hard to get pregnant, but those sort of things feel divine. There are certain problems that feel supernatural. They feel like God's intervention should be there. Like, imagine if you've got a loved one, and then all of a sudden they're dealing with like a severe chronic illness, or they get cancer or a kid gets cancer or something.

00;28;12;20 - 00;28;30;10
Dave Quak 
I mean, it's abhorrent, but it feels like a God thing. Well, think about the loss of a loved one, like a young loved one or a loved loved one. Someone who's awesome. When some people die, not many people grieve, and sometimes other people die. And the there's 2000 people at the funeral because that was just awesome, just doesn't seem right.

00;28;30;13 - 00;28;54;08
Dave Quak 
I know for myself, having mental health issues feels like it's a supernatural God type thing, and I'm often questioning him and asking him about it and wondering why it's not lifting and why it still affects me and my family. You might meet an awesome woman who's just the best, and then you find out she's got an abusive husband who's just a prick behind the scenes, and he's like, God, well, how does that happen?

00;28;54;10 - 00;29;13;29
Dave Quak 
Or you start a business and you know you want to do it to employ people and better the world and do something good. And it goes belly up. Or you run a not for profit organization and it cost you, your family. You know, maybe you've had that. Maybe it's something where you think, look, the only solution to this is God himself, and it doesn't seem like he's coming through.

00;29;14;01 - 00;29;34;07
Dave Quak 
It's in those situations where Psalms like Psalm 88 can be super helpful. They don't always solve everything. I mean, they can't solve everything, but they give us a framework of understanding. And at least some like solid charity with someone else who understands how we feel. One thing I've noticed with my relationship with God is that it actually is a relationship.

00;29;34;09 - 00;29;53;18
Dave Quak 
And like all relationships, the more you get to know the person, the more you understand their character. Now this can be both good and bad because like in the context of these three Psalms, we all have a relationship. First with our self, right? Like we're growing in self-awareness and we're growing in our understanding of how we behave and the things that we're good at and not good at.

00;29;53;21 - 00;30;17;19
Dave Quak 
One thing I've noticed in my relationship with myself is that I do have a capacity for good things. I do have a desire to love my family, to love my kids, to love my church. I've got a desire to serve God, and I've got a desire to bring good things to this world. But I also know as I get to know myself and my relationship with me grows, that I also have the capacity for brokenness.

00;30;17;21 - 00;30;51;18
Dave Quak 
And out of my brokenness, I hurt people and out of my trauma and unresolved internal dialog that all lash out at people, and that I'm not always the greatest human. So I guess I am capable of bringing light to this world as well as darkness. And then as we develop a relationship with others, we also learn that other people have the capacity for darkness as well, and that they can bring destruction and they can act out in ways that destroy us and cause us pain, and cause us to have to process things and implement self-care.

00;30;51;18 - 00;31;13;03
Dave Quak 
And yes, I can cause good things as well. And I pray that people in your world do cause good things into your world. But as you grow in relationship with people and you get more vulnerable with them, you see that all people have the capacity to bring destruction. All of that's to say that we can understand ourselves somewhat, and we can understand each other.

00;31;13;05 - 00;31;36;03
Dave Quak 
But I think we sometimes misunderstand God and project our understanding of each other onto God, and think that he is bringing destruction and that he is bringing calamity, and that he has the capacity for darkness as well as light. So what we've learned from Psalm 88 is that we have the freedom to express ourselves before God and say, God, I feel like you've killed me.

00;31;36;03 - 00;32;01;14
Dave Quak 
God, I feel like I'm in the depths. God, I feel dark. We're allowed to express that. But we also have to come to a place of true understanding of who God is, and recognize that God is not the bringer of darkness. He's not the cause of evil, brokenness, and destruction. When you're going through hard times and you feel like your heart is broken, God isn't sitting back laughing at your broken heart, but he's grieving with you in that brokenness.

00;32;01;17 - 00;32;21;06
Dave Quak 
When you develop a relationship with God, a real, tangible understanding of who he is and start having dialog instead of just monologue, you're going to find out that he's better than you ever thought. And then he loves you more than you ever know, and that when you're broken so is he. And that when you cry, he sits there and comforts you.

00;32;21;08 - 00;32;45;26
Dave Quak 
One of the biggest regrets I have in my life is when I attribute things of the brokenness of this side of eternity to God's punishment on me, and it's just not the case. Yes. Vent. Yes. Lament? Yes. Right. Psalms like Psalm 88. But come to a place when you understand that God is thoroughly good and that he is thoroughly in love with you.

00;32;45;28 - 00;33;07;28
Dave Quak 
And if you're wondering how that can be true when you're in the midst of your brokenness, you got to understand that in sending Jesus, God displayed ultimate love for you. Put. Let's put it this way, okay? The highest value you can put on somebody is being in relationship with that person. Okay? More than the things you buy them, more than the things you do for them.

00;33;08;06 - 00;33;34;24
Dave Quak 
The relationship is the expression of love. God so loved you and wanted relationship with you that he actually sent Jesus here on a rescue mission to make your relationship with God possible. He didn't just leave you in your darkness. He sent Jesus as the light to shine on your darkness. So I'm not here to minimize your pain that you've caused yourself or others have caused you.

00;33;34;27 - 00;33;51;10
Dave Quak 
What I am here to do is ask you to give it to God and say, God, I'm starved. I'm tired, I'm aching, and I need help. Could you shine light in the darkness today?

00;33;51;12 - 00;34;17;13
Dave Quak 
Thanks for tuning in to Sunburned Souls. We really appreciate the listeners and ask that you can like and subscribe on Facebook or follow us on Spotify or any of the major podcast providers. We're busy recording a couple of really potent interviews that'll be released next week and the week after. And just on a price point, some of the Christian radio stations here in Australia have now started playing Sunburnt Soul Sound bites, as well as hosting our podcast, which is really cool.

00;34;17;15 - 00;34;25;23
Dave Quak 
If you could pray, our message keeps expanding. That would be fantastic. Thanks for your love and support and may God keep blessing you more than you could ever imagine.