A Faith Shaping Perspective and Embracing Diversity with Brad Johnson

00;00;01;09 - 00;00;27;16
Dave Quak
Welcome to Sunburnt Souls. I'm Dave Quak and on this show we explore life and faith and our mental well-being. As a pastor that struggles with mental illness, I get to chat to people like me, people that love Jesus and follow the way of Christ while dealing with the messiness and brokenness of lives. Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode.

00;00;27;18 - 00;00;37;07
Dave Quak 
Well, sunburnt souls, you guys are super blessed this morning because we have a guest that I love dearly, Brad Johnson. How are you? My friend? Welcome to the show.

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Brad Johnson
I'm good. Thank you for having me.

00;00;39;15 - 00;00;50;08
Dave Quak 
Man, it is our pleasure. If you can't see Brad, I'll put his picture up. But he has a glorious ginger beard going on at the moment. Brad, you look. You look a treat, mate. Tell us about the beard.

00;00;50;11 - 00;00;54;08
Brad Johnson
Well, I grew up myself. It was made in Australia.

00;00;54;10 - 00;00;54;29
Dave Quak 
How old.

00;00;55;02 - 00;00;59;15
Brad Johnson
Am I? Almost 37 years old. So I grew it when I was a baby.

00;00;59;15 - 00;01;02;00
Dave Quak 
Yes. To look like a good baby with a beard.

00;01;02;01 - 00;01;05;03
Brad Johnson
Yeah. I was a hairy baby. Yeah.

00;01;05;05 - 00;01;09;15
Dave Quak 
But it's nice to have you on. And you got a good wife in. Linda. How's she doing?

00;01;09;17 - 00;01;12;11
Brad Johnson
Yeah, she's doing really well. Busy with uni and, three kids.

00;01;12;11 - 00;01;20;22
Dave Quak 
Three kids. Man. Well done. Well, I finally got to say, you're 50% better than me in the, in the reproduction department.

00;01;20;23 - 00;01;23;21
Brad Johnson
50% more time, Brad.

00;01;23;21 - 00;01;33;02
Dave Quak 
But we just start at the start, bro. This podcast is about faith and mental health. Why don't we start with Jesus? So you're a follower of Jesus. How did that come about, man?

00;01;33;04 - 00;01;53;09
Brad Johnson
So I became a Christian when I was 21, and before that, I really I knew of Jesus because I went to a Christian school, but all of my life was absent from Jesus completely. Yeah, yeah, it was a roller coaster before that and after I found Jesus, for he found me, everything just fell into place.

00;01;53;11 - 00;02;03;28
Dave Quak 
That's cool, because that's not always the case of blessed. Yeah. No, that is really cool. I'm already jealous. And we're only three minutes into, what fell into place, man? What do you mean?

00;02;04;00 - 00;02;33;01
Brad Johnson
So when I was a kid, there was a lot of pain in my family. My mom had. She was always on medication, severe headaches, but the medication she goes on was quite intense. And so childhood for me, rookie growing up was basically just trying to talk my way out of suicidal. So when I was between five, 15 was me basically trying to racial mom that our life was worth living.

00;02;33;03 - 00;02;36;06
Dave Quak 
Wow. That's deep ending for a five, year old.

00;02;36;06 - 00;02;37;13
Brad Johnson
Yeah, my dad's a dick.

00;02;37;14 - 00;02;47;01
Dave Quak 
I didn't even know that about you, bro. So you tracked with that from 5 to 15. What was that like as a young fella? Like, five year olds don't know their own emotions, let alone their mom's dark emotions.

00;02;47;01 - 00;03;08;25
Brad Johnson
Yeah, I think I took it all in as my responsibility to just try to encourage and, keep on living. Like you said, when you're five, you don't really understand it. You just know that your life's different. But I didn't know that the medication she was on was quite, quite hectic. Yeah, until I was an adult. And I was just I noticed the side effects of,

00;03;08;27 - 00;03;33;19
Brad Johnson
Yeah, she was having withdrawals, so she was suffering from stuff like that. And I used to think like, this is this isn't right. And but then I got to a point after it was about maybe 15 that I started building up resistance towards it, and then it turned from compassion to more anger. I was like, why isn't my family normal?

00;03;33;22 - 00;03;56;11
Brad Johnson
Right? This is a normal thing. And you look at other families and you're like, well, that's a normal looking family. And why is a man looking like that? And we had this family across the road and that was like my ideal family. Yeah. So I still look at them not creepily from a window or I didn't have binoculars, but I just be watching them.

00;03;56;14 - 00;04;14;15
Brad Johnson
I'll be like, so that's what a normal family looks like. Like, I talked to my brother about it and stuff like that. And he he has the same emotions as I was. There was fine. Right? I had to close people in my life apart from my brother, which were my grandparents, that like my actual parents, I feel like they're more like my parents.

00;04;14;16 - 00;04;27;17
Brad Johnson
My actual parents. And so they they used to take us away and spend time with us. Basically, she was a normal boy, a normal life looks like. And then my grandfather passed away and then everything just went down. The elegant.

00;04;27;24 - 00;04;29;20
Dave Quak 
Okay. How old were you when that happened?

00;04;29;22 - 00;04;31;01
Brad Johnson
That's when I was 15.

00;04;31;05 - 00;04;32;11
Dave Quak 
Okay.

00;04;32;13 - 00;04;37;20
Brad Johnson
And then my whole family was affected by that because of, the rock in the family.

00;04;37;22 - 00;04;38;18
Dave Quak 
Yeah.

00;04;38;20 - 00;05;01;00
Brad Johnson
And then after that, everything just fall out of control. That's, Again, like, depressive is suffering from depression. And then it got a lot worse after that. Okay. And so then, things kept going. And then as I do, and you try to cope the best that you can. As I got a bit older, I was like, I'm not that happy myself.

00;05;01;03 - 00;05;21;18
Brad Johnson
And so I was trying to find happiness in other areas. And then I kind of alcohol and just try to find it in any way I could, but there was just nothing that satisfy me. It just kept going down and down that dark path. Then I became suicidal. And then that affected me for years. And I just hated everything.

00;05;21;21 - 00;05;43;25
Brad Johnson
I just yeah, well, I was angry all the time, and I didn't care if anyone hurt me, I didn't care. Yeah, just a no no feeling. I just completely shut them all out and just became kind of pleb. I was about 19, 20 and then I was like, there's got to be more, more to life than this. And I've been asking that question over many years.

00;05;43;28 - 00;06;05;11
Brad Johnson
But that's when I started really thinking, there's got to be more out there. The depression just kept getting worse, and then I felt like it was, a spiritual attack as well. Yeah, because I kept hearing that voice saying, you're not good enough. You're not aware the you should just kill yourself. Just get it done with, and also it's like, that can't be right.

00;06;05;11 - 00;06;24;14
Brad Johnson
Like, that's not me thinking that. No. And I didn't know anything about fighting or anything like that. And so then after that, I, I was going to a party. And of course, I was pretty drunk at the time. I met some Christians there, and I was like, oh, yeah, that's a pretty cool God left off. I didn't think of anything else of it.

00;06;24;16 - 00;06;42;11
Brad Johnson
Depression kept getting worse, and I reached a point where I was just like, I've had enough, and I was ready to kill myself. Now, I remember just sitting there just crying, and I was like, God, if you're out there like, show me what life is about. And then I felt peace for the first time that ever felt in my life.

00;06;42;14 - 00;07;05;18
Brad Johnson
Wow. And it was just I couldn't explain it. Like all those feelings of sadness just ceased. They weren't completely gone, but I just had settled. Within that two weeks, I got invited to a party and I was drunk and the party. And then I had met two Christians and and like, there you go. I was like, yeah, I'm good.

00;07;05;20 - 00;07;24;06
Brad Johnson
And they're like, oh, would you like to come to, to, church with us? I was like, yeah, it's right. And then I was still hesitant. Oh, like, I don't know. I tried to go to a church before, and then I heard everyone singing, approached me out all right away and left. And so, I gave it another guy.

00;07;24;06 - 00;07;41;21
Brad Johnson
My mate was encouraging me is even non-Christian as well. But he's like, you should guy like you might love it. I was like, yeah, right, I'll go and find a guy. And then I end up seeing a bunch of mates from school there. No way. Yeah, I was like, what? Where have you guys been? Like, what are you doing here?

00;07;41;23 - 00;08;02;10
Brad Johnson
Like, we got here. I was like, what don't you tell me about this? And I just fell in love with it. And I feel like love Jesus and it's just been awesome. And even to this day, like, I. I can't believe I spent so many years absent from Jesus in my life. And if I'm feeling distance from him, I feel lonely.

00;08;02;10 - 00;08;12;16
Brad Johnson
You know, I feel sad. Yeah. And it's like bringing back all those horrible memories and then it seems like go on the path. I'm like, I've got to get out of this and go straight back to Jesus.

00;08;12;19 - 00;08;13;19
Dave Quak 
Yeah.

00;08;13;21 - 00;08;15;01
Brad Johnson
Love is powerful.

00;08;15;03 - 00;08;32;20
Dave Quak 
Mate. Right. That is a lot that happened before you met Jesus. You know, a lot of darkness, a lot of heaviness to overcome, especially, is a little tacker. Once you met Jesus, was there still there was the desire for darkness and suicide and that sort of thing. Or did that completely lift off? What happened then?

00;08;32;20 - 00;08;39;08
Brad Johnson
That completely lifted for a bit, but then I and I was getting like attacks.

00;08;39;08 - 00;08;40;10
Dave Quak 
Like spiritual attacks.

00;08;40;10 - 00;09;02;28
Brad Johnson
But then, yeah, when I rebuke in Jesus name, oh go instantly like, yeah, okay. Like someone turned on the light. And so I knew that those voices that were saying, like, you're not, you're not worthy. I knew that that was not from God. Yeah. I just kept praying about it. And then it reached a point where, it got a lot better.

00;09;03;00 - 00;09;08;20
Brad Johnson
And I don't know if I was just more switched on Twitter. Oh, God. God was working in me a lot more in that. Yeah.

00;09;08;22 - 00;09;13;23
Dave Quak 
Like, yeah, you might have been maturing in your faith at the same time, growing in your authority as well.

00;09;13;26 - 00;09;33;03
Brad Johnson
And I was reading more in the Bible stage too, and be more, I guess, certain parts of the Bible standing up a bit more than I did before. Like how how Peter, sent out the spirit of that woman that was harassing him or how Jesus would be. Yeah, Legion and sending me to be. Yeah. And I mean, typical.

00;09;33;04 - 00;09;50;25
Dave Quak 
Yeah. Like, it is one of those things that kind of seems to be something that Jesus reveals a little bit further down the road, a veil Christian walk. Because jumping into rebuking leader legions isn't the, it's not the gentle touch. Right. Are your parents still with us, man?

00;09;50;27 - 00;09;51;15
Brad Johnson
Yeah.

00;09;51;18 - 00;09;56;14
Dave Quak 
And so does your mom. Still experience the darkness and the suicidal stuff that she was when you were a kid?

00;09;56;16 - 00;09;58;16
Brad Johnson
Yeah, she's gone a lot worse.

00;09;58;17 - 00;09;59;08
Dave Quak 
Okay.

00;09;59;11 - 00;10;26;09
Brad Johnson
So me and my brother had to stop her from committing, so I want. And then after that, I feel like I just kept getting worse. I was about 30 when that happened. Yeah. After that time, it just insane, like falling. Just grabbed hold of her and just kept bringing it down even more. Yeah. She goes on like times of euphoria and, I don't actually have much to for at the moment because she basically just want to distance themselves from everyone.

00;10;26;12 - 00;10;27;16
Dave Quak 
Okay.

00;10;27;19 - 00;10;30;19
Brad Johnson
I haven't really had contact with her for a few years now.

00;10;30;21 - 00;10;36;06
Dave Quak 
Yeah, well, so she distance herself because she feels like she doesn't want to talk about it or just wants to.

00;10;36;08 - 00;10;37;29
Brad Johnson
It's all it's just a lot of anger there.

00;10;38;04 - 00;10;39;08
Dave Quak 
From her point.

00;10;39;10 - 00;11;01;04
Brad Johnson
Yeah, from her point. She's she's angry with the whole family. Like she just wants solitude. Yeah. And I'm happy. Like, this has been some pretty hard times so far with, like, attacking and yeah, just anger there. And she didn't have a good childhood. Like, her mum was in a nursing home from when she was in her 40s. Yeah.

00;11;01;07 - 00;11;18;29
Brad Johnson
So mum had to deal with a lot of that on our own. And so yeah, she just, I think she just cut her and pain there that she hasn't been able to heal from. Yeah, I, I invite them to chat and try to talk to them about Jesus, but they weren't interested. Like, they're entitled to that.

00;11;19;02 - 00;11;23;06
Dave Quak 
Yeah, that's their journey. What about that? Do you still see dad or talk to that or anything?

00;11;23;06 - 00;11;28;14
Brad Johnson
Now, dad won't see us at all, okay? Because he doesn't want to upset my mum.

00;11;28;16 - 00;11;30;04
Dave Quak 
Right? That's complicated.

00;11;30;11 - 00;11;45;23
Brad Johnson
Yeah. It is. So my brother came to visit and he. He wanted to see my dad, but my dad said he couldn't because I'm a brother from being from down south. And dad said he couldn't. And then I'll try to, like, catch up on him when I arrived, but still not okay.

00;11;45;25 - 00;11;47;02
Dave Quak 
Is your brother younger than you?

00;11;47;04 - 00;11;49;24
Brad Johnson
Older brothers? No, he's three years older. Yeah.

00;11;49;27 - 00;11;52;02
Dave Quak 
Yeah, that's heavy for you guys. It's just the two of you.

00;11;52;04 - 00;11;52;19
Brad Johnson
Yeah.

00;11;52;21 - 00;11;56;15
Dave Quak 
Well, that's a tumultuous childhood for you guys. Are you close now? You and your brother?

00;11;56;15 - 00;11;58;08
Brad Johnson
Yeah. Yeah, we're really close.

00;11;58;10 - 00;12;01;11
Dave Quak 
I guess in the adversity, you probably had to cling. Tell each other,

00;12;01;13 - 00;12;05;29
Brad Johnson
Yeah. We did. I feel like he always fights. Iron sharpens iron.

00;12;06;02 - 00;12;06;17
Dave Quak 
Are you.

00;12;06;24 - 00;12;10;05
Brad Johnson
Two? We used to work out what he was talking about.

00;12;10;07 - 00;12;18;17
Dave Quak 
Yeah, yeah, because that's not a very, comfortable process getting a rock and rubbing and feel like it's like. Yeah, yeah.

00;12;18;19 - 00;12;24;20
Brad Johnson
Yeah. What are you trying to call me? No, I didn't think I was very intelligent, so.

00;12;24;22 - 00;12;38;22
Dave Quak 
Oh, man. It's amazing how much is tied up with the spiritual warfare side of things, like, you know, you know, the enemy's plan is to steal and kill and destroy. And he had it out for you since you were a young attacker.

00;12;38;23 - 00;12;39;12
Brad Johnson
Yeah.

00;12;39;14 - 00;12;42;19
Dave Quak 
You're obviously on his radar. What do you put that down to, mate?

00;12;42;24 - 00;13;01;20
Brad Johnson
I think it's there's been spiritual attacks on my family for years. Yeah, okay. And I can say that, like, I'd say each generation of my family that I've known has been impacted by spiritual attacks, but they don't say the spiritual attacks that I'm saying. Yeah, all sorts of crazy stuff in my family. From that.

00;13;01;22 - 00;13;24;08
Dave Quak 
It's really fortunate to be able to hear pretty clearly from God, because there's been so many times since I've known you. We're just randomly out of the blue. You'll call me or text me and it'll be exactly what I need to hear at exactly the right second with the exact words that mean something to my soul. Like I wonder if all of this has just been forging you just to be able to know what's going on, what's not.

00;13;24;08 - 00;13;47;29
Brad Johnson
Yeah, yeah, possibly. I'm happy for that. Yeah, yeah. But there's times and other things that make our, our faith. Not like, you know, I thought and then it comes to come into fruition or it's just I can recount so many stories or it's just funny. Crazy's happened where windows like the keys in the car. And I was like, God, show me where she is and I'll get a vision of where she is.

00;13;48;01 - 00;13;52;09
Brad Johnson
Yeah, but then I won't believe that vision. I don't know why I follow it.

00;13;52;12 - 00;13;53;05
Dave Quak 
Yeah.

00;13;53;08 - 00;13;56;10
Brad Johnson
But yeah, it's just it's awesome. Like, I love it.

00;13;56;12 - 00;14;11;27
Dave Quak 
It's funny that we don't believe it. Where there's times in Scripture where the Holy Spirit's like, okay, go down to straight, straight, and you're going to meet a guy there, or go here and there'll be a dude meditating on a roof or whatever. Like he's very specific. Yeah. And that Will continues. But then when we look, oh.

00;14;11;29 - 00;14;19;13
Brad Johnson
Wow. That's surprising. Yeah. And you get your, your judgment part of your, your brain activated. Like, not that can't be right.

00;14;19;16 - 00;14;21;28
Dave Quak 
Yeah. Right. Even though we've seen it happen so many.

00;14;21;28 - 00;14;24;11
Brad Johnson
Times and we see miracles all the time.

00;14;24;13 - 00;14;29;02
Dave Quak 
Oh, yeah. Did you ever have to go on medication for any of the dark times? Right.

00;14;29;02 - 00;14;33;11
Brad Johnson
No, no, I never when I wanted to call a kids helpline at one point.

00;14;33;12 - 00;14;34;29
Dave Quak 
Yeah. Did you do it?

00;14;35;01 - 00;14;41;00
Brad Johnson
Well, no, I asked my mum about it and she said, you don't ever stop being so stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00;14;41;00 - 00;14;42;25
Dave Quak 
The old school mums love that line and I.

00;14;42;25 - 00;14;46;14
Brad Johnson
Yeah, the the okay.

00;14;46;16 - 00;14;51;17
Dave Quak 
Okay. So you never went on medication to never speak to a psychologist or anything about it.

00;14;51;19 - 00;14;55;22
Brad Johnson
I did later on. But I was after I found out I have ADHD, okay, ADHD.

00;14;55;24 - 00;15;00;19
Dave Quak 
Yeah. You know, earlier you were tapping a pen and I thought, should I stop him or not?

00;15;00;21 - 00;15;01;13
Brad Johnson
Oh, sorry.

00;15;01;13 - 00;15;06;20
Dave Quak 
I'll just let the listeners know that, you know, you gotta let the 88 speak. Amen. BDD, HD.

00;15;06;22 - 00;15;07;25
Brad Johnson
I think you could hear that.

00;15;07;26 - 00;15;12;10
Dave Quak 
If he's going to tap a pen, he's got a type of him. I would have told you if it was too much.

00;15;12;13 - 00;15;13;07
Brad Johnson
Tell us about. Okay.

00;15;13;12 - 00;15;14;23
Dave Quak 
What's that like, bro?

00;15;14;26 - 00;15;17;03
Brad Johnson
ADHD. I feel like it's a superpower or anything.

00;15;17;04 - 00;15;18;11
Dave Quak 
Okay, tell us how.

00;15;18;13 - 00;15;36;16
Brad Johnson
Well, I don't require as much sleep as what most people do. Yeah, I have unlimited amount of energy. Like, I just. I don't say any negative fun. Yeah. When I was growing up, like, I had trouble fitting in in few areas, like, people would be like, well, I can't sit still. Like, I don't know, why do you have to run everywhere?

00;15;36;16 - 00;15;53;23
Brad Johnson
What are you talking about? Yeah. And I came to realize that that's their issue, not mine. I can't change who I am. And I tried to slow down. My. My grandma always tell me to speak slower. Now try it. But I just physically couldn't do it. Then I just came to the conclusion. I have to say that I can't do that.

00;15;53;26 - 00;15;56;08
Brad Johnson
Yeah, and it's just me. It's cockamamie.

00;15;56;11 - 00;16;10;03
Dave Quak 
Right? Brilliant. So what does it look like? Like what does an ADHD person feel? Just let's put it in a scenario where everyone probably can resonate, maybe like sitting on a train on the way to work. Okay, what what are some things like that.

00;16;10;07 - 00;16;28;16
Brad Johnson
There would always be some sort of movement happen. Okay, so for my kind of ADHD, I've got what you call combined. Okay. Which means that if I did, I didn't have. So does I get 100% okay, catching a train would be. I always try to listen to science at work. I've got a podcast going on. I've listened to your podcast, and I actually.

00;16;28;18 - 00;16;31;25
Dave Quak 
Oh, there you go. Okay. That'll be someone else next week listening to you.

00;16;31;29 - 00;16;50;24
Brad Johnson
Yeah, yeah, I also know. So it's just basically trying to sit still and I try to maintain my fidgety ness as much as I can. That might be just telling my thumbs I want out. Yeah. And I've noticed this with my kids as well. I think two of them have it. You just need to have bursts of energy and just release some energy, okay?

00;16;50;27 - 00;17;00;04
Brad Johnson
And that can be in the form of, you know, just moving around. You can kind of regulate that. And coffee, I've noticed, seem to make a big difference.

00;17;00;06 - 00;17;08;05
Dave Quak 
Positive difference or negative positive. Yeah. I've heard that from another lady who I interviewed with ADHD. She said coffee is a gift.

00;17;08;07 - 00;17;08;16
Brad Johnson
Yeah.

00;17;08;16 - 00;17;10;04
Dave Quak 
It's also why what happens here?

00;17;10;05 - 00;17;11;11
Brad Johnson
It slows me down.

00;17;11;13 - 00;17;14;04
Dave Quak 
See, that sounds strange, because you'd think it would do the opposite, right?

00;17;14;04 - 00;17;16;11
Brad Johnson
Yeah. Well, decaf helps me out.

00;17;16;14 - 00;17;26;24
Dave Quak 
Yeah, right. Decaf does. Well, I guess that's the thing. I'm like Redlands. One of the medications says, Yeah, prescribed for ADHD, but that's got like, amphetamine kind of space.

00;17;26;26 - 00;17;41;05
Brad Johnson
Look at the speed. Yeah. Sort of thing. Yeah, yeah it is. So it's like amphetamine. Yeah. That's right. So we're not take that just five be down. And the only problem is it doesn't tell you what to concentrate on. Right. So the first time I took it, I just kept watching a bug fly around the room.

00;17;41;06 - 00;17;44;00
Dave Quak 
What? When you first took the, the Ritalin?

00;17;44;03 - 00;17;54;20
Brad Johnson
Yeah. And I was just like, oh, why? Why am I watching this bug just flying around? And then I realized that of, those ticks, amphetamine that was kicking in. But, like, you just you don't notice that shadow.

00;17;54;22 - 00;17;55;11
Dave Quak 
Okay.

00;17;55;13 - 00;18;16;03
Brad Johnson
That is counter to the medication, because you can you can focus on something. So you have to write a paper. Or in my example, I had to study a hundred years of design in history. And I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. I just kept writing and I been totally off topic. I'd written, like playing like 20 pages and I just kept going.

00;18;16;03 - 00;18;31;06
Brad Johnson
And then I read the end of the I was just like, man, I've just completely rambled on about all this other stuff I should have been talking about. Yeah, but that's the thing you have to think about why you you want to concentrate it. But I didn't actually take the medication anymore.

00;18;31;09 - 00;18;32;21
Dave Quak 
Yeah. So you don't take Ritalin now?

00;18;32;21 - 00;18;33;22
Brad Johnson
No, I haven't taken it.

00;18;33;22 - 00;18;38;20
Dave Quak 
You've called. Do you just manage it now like it does? Diet and exercise and stuff help as well?

00;18;38;23 - 00;18;49;11
Brad Johnson
Exercise definitely helps. Yeah, but I'd say mostly coffee. Okay, I don't know. As you get older, you your frontal lobe develops. Yeah, yeah. You think a bit more about what you're doing and some of it.

00;18;49;11 - 00;18;57;05
Dave Quak 
Yeah. And I think that's the thing like even you're a graphic designer, like, I imagine do you have like a desk that you can stand out if you want to and stuff?

00;18;57;08 - 00;19;16;02
Brad Johnson
There is an option available. I, I personally don't, need it. I do photography as well, so I can move up to a photo studio if need to stand. And. Yeah, but I do. It's like the habit that you picked up on before I was clicking my pen. Yeah, just twirling my pen around my fingers. But another big thing was playing music.

00;19;16;09 - 00;19;29;03
Brad Johnson
So I learned piano when I was younger, and then I used to just play that for a few hours. And then that got me, like, really focused, and that really helped me. And that became a coping mechanism. Wow.

00;19;29;03 - 00;19;41;04
Dave Quak 
That's amazing. And, you know, you were in a church with us for many years before, and right now is the first time I'm finding out, you know, so, you know, you're, you know, you're on the worship from now on.

00;19;41;07 - 00;19;43;26
Brad Johnson
Friday night, why don't you give us, like.

00;19;43;29 - 00;19;45;29
Dave Quak 
This is we got a pretty wide berth, mate. Yeah.

00;19;45;29 - 00;19;46;25
Brad Johnson


00;19;46;28 - 00;19;48;27
Dave Quak 
Okay. So that was like, a good focusing tool.

00;19;49;00 - 00;19;50;10
Brad Johnson
Yeah, yeah, it was great.

00;19;50;10 - 00;19;53;21
Dave Quak 
What's it like for Linda being married to an ADHD man?

00;19;53;24 - 00;19;57;14
Brad Johnson
She. She told me once for medication, and she hated it.

00;19;57;16 - 00;19;59;08
Dave Quak 
She prefers the authentic brand.

00;19;59;09 - 00;20;05;02
Brad Johnson
Yes. He did not like it at all because she said the I'm not funny. I'm not happy. I'm just serious.

00;20;05;10 - 00;20;06;05
Dave Quak 
Yeah.

00;20;06;07 - 00;20;08;00
Brad Johnson
And that was the last time I took it when.

00;20;08;00 - 00;20;09;00
Dave Quak 
She said that.

00;20;09;02 - 00;20;09;19
Brad Johnson
Yeah.

00;20;09;22 - 00;20;18;13
Dave Quak 
So medication can work. And I take it because it helps me. But you don't want to take a medication if it hinders the person. You have been.

00;20;18;15 - 00;20;19;22
Brad Johnson
Great. Yeah, definitely.

00;20;19;28 - 00;20;40;15
Dave Quak 
You know, and I think that's a case by case thing. And I'm glad you explored that, Brad, because you are an awesome human. Like it would be really sad for that, you know, the craziness of you to be taken away. And when I say craziness, I don't mean in the mental health space. I mean the vivacious and the fun and the the laugh you have, and the way you love your kids and run around the playground and stuff.

00;20;40;15 - 00;20;41;23
Dave Quak 
Like it's a it's a blessing.

00;20;41;28 - 00;20;43;16
Brad Johnson
Yeah. And I think so too.

00;20;43;19 - 00;20;45;14
Dave Quak 
Yeah, man. Tell us about the kids I like.

00;20;45;14 - 00;20;47;13
Brad Johnson
Kids are great. I love my kids.

00;20;47;16 - 00;20;47;28
Dave Quak 
Oh, good.

00;20;47;28 - 00;20;49;16
Brad Johnson
That's that's that's because.

00;20;49;17 - 00;20;50;27
Dave Quak 
I don't really have another option.

00;20;51;03 - 00;20;55;09
Brad Johnson
That, so that's the first thing I think that.

00;20;55;16 - 00;20;58;28
Dave Quak 
That and what do they like, tell us about them.

00;20;59;01 - 00;21;21;16
Brad Johnson
So I've got three kids, I've got two girls and a boy. I've got Selena, which is my oldest. She's a real treasure. Yeah. Beautiful, sweet, loving, kind, wonderful. I've got Ari, which is my boy. He's intelligent, very gifted in many ways. And then I've got Lacey, my little, my mini me.

00;21;21;19 - 00;21;22;19
Dave Quak 
Yeah, seal. Mini me.

00;21;22;26 - 00;21;28;05
Brad Johnson
Can't sit still. But she's. She's beautiful as well.

00;21;28;08 - 00;21;31;00
Dave Quak 
You can talk to each other at again.

00;21;31;02 - 00;21;42;02
Brad Johnson
I think if I understand what like how she feels and when she's gone. And so. Yeah, it's funny because sometimes Linda will be like, can you take her? I'll be like, yeah, take.

00;21;42;05 - 00;21;49;22
Dave Quak 
Oh, man, she's delightful. I haven't got to know Lucy very well. I know Selena the best. I had the privilege of being there to do her baby dedication.

00;21;49;22 - 00;21;50;07
Brad Johnson
Yeah. That's right.

00;21;50;08 - 00;21;56;03
Dave Quak 
I'll never forget. That was an awesome day. Yeah. Selena's also got a few extra credit.

00;21;56;06 - 00;21;57;01
Brad Johnson
Yeah.

00;21;57;03 - 00;21;58;09
Dave Quak 
Tell us about all that.

00;21;58;11 - 00;22;10;04
Brad Johnson
She's got. Down syndrome. Yeah, and it's funny because when we first found out that she was going to have down syndrome or a possibility of injury, I didn't know what to think about that.

00;22;10;07 - 00;22;11;06
Dave Quak 
Okay?

00;22;11;08 - 00;22;32;00
Brad Johnson
I was confused. And I thought it only happened to people that are over 40 now. I didn't know anything about down syndrome, and so learning about that, we went to our 20 weeks scan. We just had to process it and we had nine months to do it. So yeah. For your time. Yeah. But you go through like a roller coaster of emotions.

00;22;32;03 - 00;22;56;17
Brad Johnson
You start it kind of grief. You go through sadness, you go through like that or this is the first time with parents. So we didn't know what we were coming into. Yeah. But then as time went on and I don't know if you remember that the time, but I'd basically been modeling knowledge feelings in, the whole pregnancy.

00;22;56;19 - 00;23;02;17
Brad Johnson
Yeah. And it was after saying I was born and I just cried at church.

00;23;02;19 - 00;23;03;12
Dave Quak 
I remember, man.

00;23;03;12 - 00;23;26;26
Brad Johnson
Yeah. I was just in tears. I'm. That's not like me to do. No. And I was confused and I basically all the emotions I've been putting out for so long came out. Yeah. And you and with and Tom pray for me and and I'll never forget that and such a amazing moment in my life and all that light and just gone and, felt like healing had happened that that day.

00;23;26;28 - 00;23;35;29
Dave Quak 
Yeah, man, it was a powerful day. I'll remember it like yesterday, bro. You found out at 20 weeks. Was that like it? They do a special scan or something or.

00;23;36;00 - 00;23;55;07
Brad Johnson
Yeah. So I did, really cool. It's just your normal scan. Yeah, but they have a few detection points with an angel by the length of, the TBF. Oh, yeah. And there's. And there's one other indicator, but the night bone was a big, big indicator. And it was strange because I. I've never been in a scan before.

00;23;55;09 - 00;24;11;21
Brad Johnson
And this lady just like over she said we'll be right back. And I'm like, oh, that's really bizarre. And they did it because she's a midwife. At the time, she knew that that meant bad news. Okay. And so the lady came in and she's like, oh, you got a beautiful baby. And I'm still alive, too. I'm like, oh, great, we have a bit of a baby.

00;24;11;24 - 00;24;16;10
Brad Johnson
That's awesome. And then she told us and so like, oh, like any sense.

00;24;16;12 - 00;24;17;26
Dave Quak 
Are they certain at that time?

00;24;17;26 - 00;24;24;11
Brad Johnson
But no, they just they have, feels like maybe 40% or 25% chance.

00;24;24;14 - 00;24;24;25
Dave Quak 
Okay.

00;24;24;29 - 00;24;28;07
Brad Johnson
The navel bone. I said that's that's a really big indicator.

00;24;28;09 - 00;24;31;18
Dave Quak 
And isn't there something with the fluid on the neck or something?

00;24;31;22 - 00;24;36;26
Brad Johnson
Yeah. You can get a, a more intrusive test.

00;24;36;28 - 00;24;39;10
Dave Quak 
Oh, okay. So that's like a that's not this test.

00;24;39;13 - 00;24;42;18
Brad Johnson
No, I don't think so. Okay. Okay. Embody test. Oh that's.

00;24;42;18 - 00;24;44;00
Dave Quak 
Right. Yeah. So you didn't get that.

00;24;44;02 - 00;25;00;28
Brad Johnson
No. No. And we knew like when you go for this stuff, you don't know how like the medical profession I say disabilities as as a problem. Yeah. And we had a doctor just hand us without even talking to us. Just handed off the termination papers.

00;25;00;28 - 00;25;02;21
Dave Quak 
The termination papers?

00;25;02;23 - 00;25;05;06
Brad Johnson
Yeah. And just said, okay, this is where you get it done.

00;25;05;06 - 00;25;06;16
Dave Quak 
No way. Man.

00;25;06;18 - 00;25;18;15
Brad Johnson
And I said, I don't want to get rid of our baby. And he said he would advise it. And I said, no, that's not okay with her. Yeah. And I said to Linda, like, after we left my doctor, I said, I never want to take him.

00;25;18;15 - 00;25;21;27
Dave Quak 
And he's lucky he didn't get a Brad Johnson punch in the head back.

00;25;22;00 - 00;25;26;29
Brad Johnson
Yeah I reckon I my or a Linda said oh yeah. Yeah okay.

00;25;27;02 - 00;25;32;09
Dave Quak 
Any punch in the head. Okay. So there was a bit of pressure to terminate. Yeah that's messed up.

00;25;32;12 - 00;25;50;10
Brad Johnson
Yeah. It was hell yeah. There's multiple doctors I went positive. Yeah. It seems that we just kept getting bad news after bad news, because they basically tell you everything that's going to go wrong with your child. And then they tried that as an absolute. Yeah. Which is in the case, like when Slater was born, the doctors were checking her over.

00;25;50;12 - 00;26;03;13
Brad Johnson
Nothing was wrong with her. Physically perfect. Yeah. They didn't even know if she had cancer. And I went to Osborne because I'll try and check the palm of the hand. Oh, yeah. One of the indicators on the palm of the hand is one line instead of two.

00;26;03;15 - 00;26;04;09
Dave Quak 
Okay.

00;26;04;11 - 00;26;32;22
Brad Johnson
And I was holding her in my arms and the doctors just kept looking. This it's like, what are they looking for? And then they just left and they didn't tell us. We didn't even know she had Down's syndrome or not. Well, we end up finding out like a day later I got confirmed. Yeah, but then the introduction to raising a child that was having a disability was quite confronting to me originally because we had to do a feeding tube and she had just joined us.

00;26;32;24 - 00;26;36;17
Brad Johnson
So she went to the ICU. The ICU.

00;26;36;19 - 00;26;37;26
Dave Quak 
Yeah. Yeah. Is that.

00;26;37;26 - 00;26;38;21
Brad Johnson
Right? Yeah.

00;26;38;27 - 00;26;39;06
Dave Quak 
Okay.

00;26;39;12 - 00;27;06;27
Brad Johnson
Yeah, yeah. They know correctly. But after she hears this, but yeah. So basically the special care unit and then we had to make sure that she was regulated and temperature. Yeah. Just getting enough milk. Yeah. And she couldn't, breastfeed. So she had to be part of it. But the other problem is, is because it's like muscle tone, you have to there's a special technique to be okay.

00;27;07;00 - 00;27;15;19
Brad Johnson
So that's another learning curve. Yeah. And it's physio and all those other things that come out of it. I was meeting with her when she was born.

00;27;15;26 - 00;27;18;04
Dave Quak 
Oh of course man, she's a legend.

00;27;18;09 - 00;27;21;02
Brad Johnson
Yeah. I love Hot tamales. Yeah, she's just.

00;27;21;02 - 00;27;23;09
Dave Quak 
Amazing, man. Slaine is quite funny.

00;27;23;11 - 00;27;34;28
Brad Johnson
Yeah, she is. And as time has gone on, like, I've seen so many beautiful qualities in her. Yeah, yeah, I don't see in any other child. So I, like everyone at school knows and I.

00;27;35;00 - 00;27;35;19
Dave Quak 
Yeah.

00;27;35;22 - 00;27;47;24
Brad Johnson
And they're like, she knows what you know. And she's like hi. And she goes by every single step. She goes for everyone's name. Yeah. So she's got an incredible memory. Like I can't remember all the ten people's names. Anyway.

00;27;47;26 - 00;28;06;26
Dave Quak 
The other day I met someone and instantly forgot their name. Like, instantly I'm like, oh, that's that's a new level. So. Now she's an absolute delight. I think that's the thing. Like when you see her and the way she lights up your world, like your world wouldn't be anything like as rich as it is without sleep.

00;28;06;26 - 00;28;11;11
Brad Johnson
No, not at all. And I've seen it. She's she's got a spiritual gift. I think.

00;28;11;17 - 00;28;13;00
Dave Quak 
All I can tell us about.

00;28;13;00 - 00;28;19;27
Brad Johnson
That, she will. She will hug a stranger. And then the stranger almost cries. And they say that's exactly what I needed.

00;28;20;01 - 00;28;20;28
Dave Quak 
Wow.

00;28;21;01 - 00;28;42;07
Brad Johnson
And she just has this amazing gift to just brighten people up. And I remember we were on a train and those delays and everyone was grumpy on the train, and we had Slater in a pram, and these people went from being protective of a train in Sydney, people generally on the overly friendly on the train. No. And this was overcrowded, that you couldn't move.

00;28;42;10 - 00;28;54;10
Brad Johnson
And we had a pram right in the middle of it and all these people around us were just like laughing and giggling at her. Yeah. And she was giggling that I was like, that is not. Yeah, normal thing. That's that's something special right there.

00;28;54;12 - 00;29;00;05
Dave Quak 
She is special. And so now do you guys have to go to like extra I don't know physio and stuff now.

00;29;00;07 - 00;29;15;05
Brad Johnson
Yeah. We still have physio appointments. The appointment schedules decrease significantly. Like we have been very blessed in a way that is she's a hard worker and she learns like she just keeps trying and trying till she gets it.

00;29;15;07 - 00;29;15;28
Dave Quak 
Yeah. Nice.

00;29;16;03 - 00;29;24;19
Brad Johnson
She's she's tough and she's strong. I've seen her just do so many things and accomplish, It's amazing.

00;29;24;21 - 00;29;25;14
Dave Quak 
Yeah.

00;29;25;16 - 00;29;29;03
Brad Johnson
And they have vocabulary to like. That's that's quite incredible for her.

00;29;29;05 - 00;29;43;28
Dave Quak 
Well, speaking of vocabulary. So she must be able to discern when someone needs a hug, but she also must be able to discern when someone is cheeky because she came to church one day and I said, hi, Celine. Hey, are you going to sing? It's good poo poo help you out?

00;29;44;00 - 00;29;46;16
Brad Johnson
Yeah, we had words after that I didn't even like.

00;29;46;16 - 00;29;52;04
Dave Quak 
I didn't stop that. But she must know. So.

00;29;52;07 - 00;29;54;17
Brad Johnson
Yeah, that's a hard habit to break. That one.

00;29;54;20 - 00;30;00;24
Dave Quak 
It it's a good. Well, what's the dynamic of the family? So you got Selena, and then the two little ones. Tell us about them.

00;30;00;27 - 00;30;09;23
Brad Johnson
All right. It's a marriage, another child. It just impresses me and surprises me. Yeah. When I was growing up, I had no interest in maths at all.

00;30;09;29 - 00;30;10;26
Dave Quak 
Maths?

00;30;10;29 - 00;30;33;10
Brad Johnson
Yeah. Ms.. Yeah, maths. Matt. Maths. But he he already knows like an algebra and times tables. He's adding up hundreds of numbers E5 and he was like I was catching up with one of my friends on the weekend and he said can you do, counting trades? And I was just like, no, he can't do that. He doesn't.

00;30;33;12 - 00;30;33;27
Dave Quak 
Yes.

00;30;34;04 - 00;30;36;00
Brad Johnson
And then he's going up to like the 100th.

00;30;36;00 - 00;30;37;05
Dave Quak 
I'm like,

00;30;37;07 - 00;30;38;15
Brad Johnson
Okay, all right.

00;30;38;18 - 00;30;39;17
Dave Quak 
All right, you win.

00;30;39;19 - 00;30;41;25
Brad Johnson
Yeah, yeah, we get it.

00;30;41;27 - 00;30;45;23
Dave Quak 
And then Lucy, she's a little you mentioned she's just your little energetic bunny. Yeah.

00;30;45;29 - 00;31;04;14
Brad Johnson
Yeah, she's she's just go go go. Yeah. And she surprises me too. Like, she's very articulate. And so find a way of, she can get into little areas where it's challenging. I think that I'd be able to get into her. And then she would find a way to work a little fingers into that complicated looking somehow.

00;31;04;21 - 00;31;06;20
Dave Quak 
And I love it, man.

00;31;06;22 - 00;31;07;18
Brad Johnson
Yeah.

00;31;07;21 - 00;31;24;00
Dave Quak 
Brad, I love you've been through some significant stuff in your life, and you still just radiate the joy of the Lord, like you just love him. And one thing I've always respected about you is you take discipleship of your family, you know, seriously. You know, you lead this tribe and the Johnsons are in good hands because they're in your household.

00;31;24;00 - 00;31;29;17
Dave Quak 
What's the tell us about the spiritual temperature of your home? What are some of the things that go on in the Johnson house.

00;31;29;19 - 00;31;47;20
Brad Johnson
When we don't make it to church? I like to do a Bible study at home with the kids I call kids church because I didn't have that growing up. That's really important to me. And because we're a bit further out where we live, it's it's a bit hard to get to a church that we like, and we've kind of schedule a feeling of, oh, she's doing a flat.

00;31;47;22 - 00;31;51;05
Brad Johnson
And as you know, taking three kids to church. It's quite challenging on your own.

00;31;51;07 - 00;31;54;19
Dave Quak 
Oh, it's it's never about, you know.

00;31;54;20 - 00;31;57;24
Brad Johnson
No, it's very much like crowd control. Sometimes I feel like.

00;31;57;24 - 00;32;02;02
Dave Quak 
It really is. It is. So you do Bible studies at home, like kids church.

00;32;02;05 - 00;32;02;15
Brad Johnson
Yeah.

00;32;02;15 - 00;32;04;04
Dave Quak 
Because that looks like.

00;32;04;07 - 00;32;27;09
Brad Johnson
So we'll watch, I think, and then we'll talk about it afterwards, or I'll do either a drawing that I can color in or I'll print off a coloring. I'll also pray with them and try to get them to answer some questions. Yeah. And you don't always know that a thing. Thing. I remember just being somewhere with Ari, and he saw some Pharisees on the on a TV.

00;32;27;12 - 00;32;45;12
Brad Johnson
Oh, yeah. He was. It was at a church somewhere. It could have been your church. And Ari's like, oh, is that a Pharisee? I was like, yeah, that's a Pharisee. And then I was just like one of those. I was caught and he said, Sadducees! Oh, yes, yes, oh, yes.

00;32;45;15 - 00;33;16;06
Dave Quak 
It's working. That's what it takes, man. Just let it sink in over the edge. That's right. I don't want to start too many sentences with what I love about you, Brad, because this could this could be the longest chat ever. Because I'd love to hear that myself. But what I love about you also is that when you think about your struggles and mental illness and discipling Selena and the complications and the joys that come with that, you do so with zero need to, like, I don't know how to put it, but you don't.

00;33;16;06 - 00;33;27;06
Dave Quak 
You're not apologetic. It's just so off the tongue for you. Like it's like you're being set free from any stigma associated with mental illness and faith. Would that be a correct assumption?

00;33;27;08 - 00;33;52;13
Brad Johnson
Yeah. It's like so I came to the conclusion that no matter the disability, that if someone's got a disability processing station about them, that's not their fault, that's how they're born. And if someone has a problem, that's their problem. Not not the person's problem. That's kind of became my outlook that I can't change who I am. I can't change their opinion of Selena or myself or my kids.

00;33;52;15 - 00;33;55;27
Brad Johnson
Or anything like that. That's out of my control and I just accept that.

00;33;56;00 - 00;34;04;28
Dave Quak 
And does it work. I'd like are you at a place where if someone was to say something negative against you that it would roll off your bat or you know, or would you carry it.

00;34;05;01 - 00;34;08;04
Brad Johnson
Yeah, it definitely doesn't affect me anymore.

00;34;08;07 - 00;34;10;08
Dave Quak 
I want that. How do you do that?

00;34;10;11 - 00;34;23;07
Brad Johnson
I think you just have to. If you tell people your weakness from the get go, they've got no ammo. And just you know like if you're weak it's like you start praying that weakness.

00;34;23;09 - 00;34;25;24
Dave Quak 
That's cool man I mean it's biblical too.

00;34;25;26 - 00;34;27;18
Brad Johnson
Yeah it is you.

00;34;27;20 - 00;34;37;11
Dave Quak 
Know it's it's one of those things getting set free from what other people view you. I had my first haters in the last couple of weeks Brad with the podcast just internet trolls.

00;34;37;13 - 00;34;38;12
Brad Johnson
Yeah. How'd you go?

00;34;38;14 - 00;34;45;22
Dave Quak 
I handled it with love, but it did still rattle me. Like, you know, I wanted to point out all of their flaws and.

00;34;45;27 - 00;34;46;18
Brad Johnson
Yeah.

00;34;46;20 - 00;35;06;02
Dave Quak 
Tear them apart. Instead, I prayed on it and then eventually just said, you know, well, measured, loving response. But man, it does take a fair bit of self-control when people go out of their way to speak negatively over your life, when firstly when they don't know you, but secondly when, well, what? Why would you do that? Look, could you imagine what would be your like?

00;35;06;02 - 00;35;15;01
Dave Quak 
What a use of time to spend your valuable minutes finding a stranger and telling them why you don't like them? It's weird.

00;35;15;02 - 00;35;19;26
Brad Johnson
It is weird and it's it's weird. It's like you have to actually put in effort to be horrible.

00;35;19;28 - 00;35;20;22
Dave Quak 
Yes.

00;35;20;25 - 00;35;24;10
Brad Johnson
It's counterintuitive and it's just not nice.

00;35;24;12 - 00;35;27;26
Dave Quak 
It's really it's really like a lot of work to be a jerk sometimes.

00;35;27;26 - 00;35;28;19
Brad Johnson
Yeah, it is.

00;35;28;21 - 00;35;35;11
Dave Quak 
But it's what they do. And if you I mean, we got to love them and pray for them. But man, it just it actually saddened me. One of them I was like.

00;35;35;11 - 00;35;36;10
Brad Johnson
Dude, yeah, go.

00;35;36;10 - 00;35;44;14
Dave Quak 
Out. It was a nice day and it was coming at like 1:00 like through the day. And I'm like, dude, go to the beach. Like, oh, and like go snorkel and go for a surf.

00;35;44;14 - 00;35;45;06
Brad Johnson
Like, yeah.

00;35;45;13 - 00;35;47;01
Dave Quak 
Don't waste your time on me.

00;35;47;03 - 00;36;10;08
Brad Johnson
Is just so some people are just hiding inside. Five I just take it out on others. Yeah. All right. Even with graphic design, like I thought we should contact clients. I just said this works ugly. Or I've had one guy say, get this guy out of here. Fire him. Yeah, that was in my first year of graphic design, and I've had this other like, if I can, you make it less ugly in those words.

00;36;10;08 - 00;36;15;24
Brad Johnson
Yeah, well I could, I could try so maybe sure I fired.

00;36;15;26 - 00;36;18;15
Dave Quak 
Yeah. Maybe I said or maybe it's because you're ugly. Like it's.

00;36;18;22 - 00;36;19;00
Brad Johnson
Not.

00;36;19;01 - 00;36;38;10
Dave Quak 
What I like. It's hard not to want to retaliate. Right. But I suppose that's all to say. Like your life has forged you, you, Brad, to focus on things that matter. Then, you know, since five years old, you've had to stand on the things that matter, you know, and and look towards taking care of others and putting others, you know, the needs of others before yourselves.

00;36;38;10 - 00;36;40;25
Dave Quak 
It's actually forged a selfless man out of you, man.

00;36;41;00 - 00;36;46;23
Brad Johnson
Well, it's funny you say that because I feel like Linda has rebuked me a lot over the years.

00;36;46;25 - 00;36;52;11
Dave Quak 
Oh, yeah, that's a wife's job. But just to put it in context, Linda is the greatest human on the planet.

00;36;52;12 - 00;36;54;05
Brad Johnson
Yeah. She's amazing. Continue.

00;36;54;09 - 00;36;56;04
Dave Quak 
Okay. What do you mean, rebuked you? In which way?

00;36;56;06 - 00;36;58;20
Brad Johnson
First, I've got to say, I'm very blessed to have Linda as my wife.

00;36;58;27 - 00;36;59;18
Dave Quak 
Yes.

00;36;59;21 - 00;37;09;07
Brad Johnson
She is amazing. And far smarter than me. And nice thought and very way more beautiful.

00;37;09;10 - 00;37;11;09
Dave Quak 
She is a beautiful lady.

00;37;11;12 - 00;37;27;19
Brad Johnson
Yeah, I'm really grateful to have her and I can't imagine my life without her. She's definitely had to work hard to correct my, impulsive behavior as far as, like, response. Like when it was when she was born. I used to get praying, right?

00;37;27;26 - 00;37;29;11
Dave Quak 
All right, let's pray and rage.

00;37;29;17 - 00;37;36;15
Brad Johnson
Well, I don't know if it's an actual thing, but I got it, and I saw it. I was walking in front of me. I used to get frustrated.

00;37;36;17 - 00;37;38;14
Dave Quak 
But did you ram them with the preamble? What?

00;37;38;14 - 00;37;47;22
Brad Johnson
I never got to that point. I used to just voice my opinion and be like, come, I maybe other way because like, I'm really flying. I can't move because they're blocking me.

00;37;47;24 - 00;37;49;10
Dave Quak 
But you'd say it out loud.

00;37;49;11 - 00;37;50;04
Brad Johnson
Yes.

00;37;50;06 - 00;37;51;16
Dave Quak 
And then so they can hear.

00;37;51;22 - 00;37;52;16
Brad Johnson
Yes.

00;37;52;18 - 00;37;54;23
Dave Quak 
Oh, okay. And then Linda was like bad dope.

00;37;54;27 - 00;38;04;07
Brad Johnson
Yeah. She's like, what do you have to do that kind of way? And I was like, yes, I can learn to like. And I did Linda White. And that was a hard thing for me. But I eventually got it.

00;38;04;08 - 00;38;25;26
Dave Quak 
Well, I think that's it. That's, a principle of life. Like anything we do repetitively forms our habits, right? Like they form formal worldview. Anything we do on repeat. You know, you start by choosing to love someone, and eventually you love them. That's right. You know? So you start choosing not to ram this person, and eventually you don't ram the slow person.

00;38;25;26 - 00;38;32;28
Dave Quak 
So she is she's. Yeah. But that's a that's a spouse's responsibility is also to start taking off some of the rough edges.

00;38;33;00 - 00;38;39;21
Brad Johnson
Yeah definitely. And I think she's she's really good at just I don't know, rebuke me in a loving way.

00;38;39;23 - 00;38;40;04
Dave Quak 
Yeah.

00;38;40;10 - 00;38;56;14
Brad Johnson
And it's the way that comes across to other people that I in the past. And I've just found that I never I bet you can relate to that, which we've just, Yeah. She cracks you off and you're like, oh, I don't know. I've been like that. And then you think about you like, oh, you know, us. And sometimes I just pray about it so long ago, like, well, am I being like that?

00;38;56;16 - 00;39;01;27
Brad Johnson
Am I being a bit of a jerk? Yeah. It's amazing what God can do.

00;39;01;29 - 00;39;07;26
Dave Quak 
Yeah, it's amazing because. And that's the only way you'll change to like, I don't change unless God helps change my heart.

00;39;07;26 - 00;39;08;14
Brad Johnson
Yeah, definitely.

00;39;08;14 - 00;39;15;27
Dave Quak 
You know what I mean? Like, it's really. It's otherwise it's. I mean, you can try your best, but if it's going to be a real change, it's going to be a Holy Spirit initiated.

00;39;16;02 - 00;39;35;05
Brad Johnson
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I always tell myself, like, I'll be dropping the kids off and I'll get frustrated. The car in front of me, like this morning. Yeah. I'll be like, come on, baby car. Yeah, I know my kids will be like, what are you what are you what? Why are you getting angry at the car? Yeah. It's like because it's kind of like they're like, okay, well, can you come there?

00;39;35;07 - 00;39;36;01
Dave Quak 
Yeah, yeah.

00;39;36;03 - 00;39;37;03
Brad Johnson
Now my kids are a baby.

00;39;37;08 - 00;39;45;12
Dave Quak 
Yeah. I don't like it when the kids say that stuff. Even though they're right. My kids always tell me to stop driving so fast. But then I got to speeding to get to know.

00;39;45;12 - 00;39;46;16
Brad Johnson
Oh, wait.

00;39;46;18 - 00;39;48;20
Dave Quak 
It's not like, oh, okay, I better not.

00;39;48;22 - 00;39;49;12
Brad Johnson
Yell.

00;39;49;12 - 00;39;56;06
Dave Quak 
And an old bad bro. I don't think it's fair that it was 460 bucks and I was only 11 k's over.

00;39;56;08 - 00;39;57;15
Brad Johnson
Yes, that is a record.

00;39;57;16 - 00;40;16;09
Dave Quak 
I know I shouldn't speed, but I think there's a measure of, like, injustice in that. Yeah. Definitely read, you know. Wait, we'll start sort of tail into the end of this chat. But for people who are in a similar boat to you that love Jesus, but also walk with a few things going on, you know, ADHD or whatever else, what's your encouragement, man?

00;40;16;11 - 00;40;37;08
Brad Johnson
Hand over to God if you're going through struggling, potentially depression, anxiety, fear, worry like put on the armor of God. Ask God for that. Rebuke anything that shouldn't be there in Jesus name. Yeah, and just give him all your problems like he's a loving father that wants to know you. He wants to be with you and he loves you.

00;40;37;11 - 00;40;58;26
Brad Johnson
Limitlessly Jesus paid for every sin of yours on the cross. You don't have to think about that anymore. It's a done deal. And just think about that. Like he can fall into that mindset like, oh, I've just seen the I'm the worst person. God's going to hate me, but he doesn't. He loves you. All of his heart.

00;40;58;28 - 00;41;06;26
Brad Johnson
Pray for God to help you realize that two if you're struggling with that. Yeah. And I still have to pray for that. But after remind myself continuously about that.

00;41;07;01 - 00;41;13;25
Dave Quak 
Yeah. The father's heart for us is ridiculous. Like once we get a grip on that. Yeah, a lot does lose its sting.

00;41;13;28 - 00;41;14;25
Brad Johnson
Yeah. You know.

00;41;14;25 - 00;41;19;14
Dave Quak 
Even though we still struggle and and there's still those days that you just wish didn't happen.

00;41;19;16 - 00;41;20;16
Brad Johnson
Yeah, definitely.

00;41;20;23 - 00;41;22;15
Dave Quak 
There's something about knowing Jesus.

00;41;22;15 - 00;41;43;03
Brad Johnson
I think I'd also encourage with his. There's a book of the Bible that people often they don't read. I think people should all give revelation to go, okay, because there's so much stuff that points back to the revelation I love. Revelation is the first book I've ever read on the Bible. It was also the most hectic.

00;41;43;05 - 00;41;48;04
Dave Quak 
Did you start at the end because you got ADHD and you're like, I'm just going to find out what happens at the end of the story.

00;41;48;05 - 00;41;49;22
Brad Johnson
Well, I did it.

00;41;49;24 - 00;41;54;04
Dave Quak 
Okay. So yeah. Okay. So you find out what happens at the end. Is that why you like it?

00;41;54;06 - 00;41;56;09
Brad Johnson
Well, it also shows God's glory.

00;41;56;11 - 00;41;57;04
Dave Quak 
Yeah.

00;41;57;06 - 00;42;23;14
Brad Johnson
Olivet discourse is another one to go through. I'll recommend that to anyone. But when you go through revelations a few times and then read other prophets, minor prophets in the Bible, even like Peter or Paul. Okay, you can hear so much of revelations or reference to revelations or Jesus coming in that book and it's amazing, like, oh, listen to the audio Bible.

00;42;23;14 - 00;42;55;11
Brad Johnson
Just like sometimes I just struggle to sit down and write whatever. Subscribe for that reason. Yeah, but you can just keep hearing, like even through the Old Testament, you just hear references to revelations in Jesus coming back or the judgments or I think that's the major difference is it shows Jesus in all his glory. And we often forget that you forget what Jesus looks like now he's alive in heaven and his his words is voice, is sharper.

00;42;55;11 - 00;43;04;07
Brad Johnson
A double edged sword that cuts you like it. It's a word that penetrates through your flesh into your heart, and you need to let that resonate with you.

00;43;04;10 - 00;43;13;04
Dave Quak 
And do you find having a focus on eschatology or, you know, Jesus's return and glory frames your daily victories?

00;43;13;09 - 00;43;37;07
Brad Johnson
Yeah, definitely. I think the study of eschatology, it's referenced so much in the Bible, and there's a reason that it's there for us to learn. Yeah. And we're taught to know the the times and the seasons. And I think that's really important as Christians, because we kind of forget that, we lose sight of that. We like, oh, Jesus will come sometime in the future, but we don't really think about it after that.

00;43;37;10 - 00;43;53;07
Brad Johnson
Yeah, but whatever it is, a possibility comes tomorrow. As someone that you haven't taught or someone that you could have in that time. And I think just learning about this stuff just helps you to reframe your mind and refocus on that.

00;43;53;12 - 00;43;54;04
Dave Quak 
Yeah.

00;43;54;07 - 00;44;09;06
Brad Johnson
And when you say Jesus in all of his glory in revelation, you just say differently. And as Christians, you can he can't get a bit tired of reading the same stuff. And it can be quite refreshing if you haven't done that.

00;44;09;08 - 00;44;24;22
Dave Quak 
But I think you're right to like, you know, Jesus resurrected. Returning is an input and he's not to be meddled with. Sometimes I do think we treat Jesus a bit too. Maybe. Maybe rather than the glorious King he is. So I, I agree with you on that one, man.

00;44;24;25 - 00;44;26;19
Brad Johnson
Yeah, that's pretty epic, right?

00;44;26;19 - 00;44;32;27
Dave Quak 
I love you, man. And it's been a real privilege, you know, speaking this stuff through, is there anything else you want to share? I mean.

00;44;33;04 - 00;45;04;26
Brad Johnson
I'm really grateful for all the input that people have had in my life. I'm really grateful for those friends who really helped me through those hard times. This coming to terms with having a child with a disability? Yeah. Dave, I got, and my alien left. Let's go. People that really, really made a difference. Just know that those little acts of service, compassion and love makes a a big dent in the heart of people.

00;45;04;28 - 00;45;10;12
Brad Johnson
Yeah. And it really goes a long way. And just for the smallest thing, can claim a bigger say in your heart.

00;45;10;19 - 00;45;14;19
Dave Quak 
Brad Johnson, you're a legend. Would you do us the honor of praying this out today?

00;45;14;21 - 00;45;41;01
Brad Johnson
I'd love to. Thanks. Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that if any of these words help anyone out there, I just pray that they do. I pray for Dave and his family that you make works of wonders in his life, and you help those who are assign horrible words to him that you soften their heart and just show them that they are awesome guy, that we all love him.

00;45;41;03 - 00;45;46;18
Brad Johnson
And I thank you for Dave and all the hard work. I yield for everyone and I'll begin by Jesus name. Amen.

00;45;46;20 - 00;45;49;11
Dave Quak 
Amen. Thanks, Brad. God bless you, brother.

00;45;49;13 - 00;45;54;07
Brad Johnson
God bless you.

00;45;54;10 - 00;46;17;23
Dave Quak
For more candid conversations on faith and mental well-being, check out some bentos.com. You can subscribe to our podcast on any major provider, or contact us directly to book us to preach or speak. Some of That souls is a faith based ministry, and we want to thank everybody so far for their generous support. If you want to get behind us, pray our message reaches the ears of those that need to hear it.

00;46;17;26 - 00;46;27;18
Dave Quak
Feel free to donate financially online, but if you feel obliged or manipulated to give you better off sharing a loved one a coffee instead. I'm Dave Clark from Somewhere Souls.