We’re Suckers For You

What is going on? Everybody, Welcome to an all new special episode of Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds? Stop pause, everybody, Wait a second, that's not the name of this podcast anymore.

What is the name of this podcast?

Jared?

Why should I announce it? Announce it?

We're going through another rebrand and if you guys have stuck with us through the past one, gosh, kudos to you, because that's just so great of you to even stick with us. We're doing it again and this one's really going to stick for a long time.

I think, well, we're not like I guess you guys are still technically newlyweds?

Are you? But it wasn't even the newlyweds aspect that we didn't like so much. It was just a bit of a mouth.

It was such a long title.

I would be out and I'd be like, the people would ask me what I do, and I'd be like, Oh, I host the podcast. What's the name. It's called crap? What is it called again? It's called the Help I Suck Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds? And they'd be like, that's the name the name of your podcast podcast? We're like, well, listen, it's a mouthful, but it's worth the time. But we are renaming rebranding our podcast to Suckers, just as simple Suckers.

We wanted something.

Sweet, short, something to the point, yeah, and we achieved it.

And I also feel like we're all kind of suckers in our own way.

Guys.

Oh yeah, Like I'm a sucker for Ashley.

Yeah, I'm a sucker for a good time.

Are you a sucker for me?

Though?

I'm a sucker for anything that can fit in my mouth.

Okay, So yes.

I am a sucker for you. Okay, if you know what I'm saying, Okay, that's fine. Yeah. So Suckers is the new name of the podcast. But in addition to changing our name to Suckers, we're also going to all be doing our own individual segments every week. I don't know if I'm all to talk about this yet, am I? Yeah, of course, I'm just making sureuse I've done this before where I say the wrong thing. So we're also going

So each week I'll be talking about pop culture because I'm a sucker for pop culture.

That's that's so good. I never I never pieced that together. You're a sucker for pop culture, that's the whole point. That's just the amount of levels to that is amazing. I think pretty good.

How much did you drink on the golf?

It's not that I'm pretty sober right now, But did you know that she's a sucker?

When she said it, I was like, Oh, that's right, that's why we're named. Yeah, there's a little bit of a light bulb. But obviously I kept that internal, so it made it look like I knew what I was talking about, rather than Dean just being like, oh, that's right.

Jared casually SIPs his coffee suckers, Yep, that makes sense.

That's exactly I knew exactly what we were going for on this.

Wow, I feel so slow, Jared, What are you a sucker for?

All Right? So I'm a sucker for fatherhood because, as everybody on this podcast knows, I am a dad of a wonderful son named Dawson who's entering the prime of his life, which I think I feel that Dawson is at a point where it's more fun than it ever has been to be his dad. And I've actually talked to other dads about this who feel like they don't really connect to the kids until they got to like

Isn't that a thing? Though? The terrible twos?

It's like tantrums?

So he put he does have his tantrum.

He does have his tantrums, but there's so much more controllable because when he's crying hysterically as a baby, I think and I are like, oh, no, is something wrong? Is he okay? There's that little doubt in your head like everything's probably fine, But also do are we unaware something?

Now?

He's throwing tantrums and I mean it sucks, but like I'll look at Ashley and it'll just be like, just let him, let him cry, let him throw himself on the floor, scream it out for ten minutes, and then you know he'll be playing with his toys in no time and everything will be funny.

And I would imagine he's having a tantrum. He can't like communicate to you why he's having a tantrum. A little bit better, at least.

Definitely better, He's still There's so many times Whe're like, Dawson, what is the matter? You're like, Okay, what did that sound like? Ashley? What do you think he's trying to say?

It sounds like he's hungry.

I don't know. Yeah, just shove something in there. As Dean would say, he's a sucker for anything that fits in his mouth.

The sucker thing. Man, it's so smart. Whoever thought of the name suckers?

So smart?

Didn't we all?

Yeah? We did group effort, Yeah we did. We thought well, I personally, as I thought of it together as the group, I was just like, sucker is just easier to say than hope. He suck at being NELI witz. That was my appeal to it. But now let's talk. I'm a sucker for traveling, and so every week I'm going to bring you the hottest, juiciest travel content you'll ever hear.

Yeah, but it's getting hot, So turn the A C up.

Turn it down to low, and turn the fan up to high because we're getting real hot. By the way, your wife's here, do you I mean, I mean, oh, say hello.

I don't want you to have to whisper in correcting Jared on the side, Yeah, temperature needs to be low, but the pressure of the fan.

Needs to be high.

Yeah, and you're right. I did debate, and the temperature is low, the fan is high.

Yes, got it. That makes sense. But we're turning the A C.

So yeah, no, I see, I see, I see. We're going with this side.

If I said it's hot in here, turn the a C up.

We do say that, but we shouldn't. We should not turn the A C low, turn it down as what we should say.

You make it, you make it a really good point. Yeah, but if you're listening to this, I want you to turn that a C down real low and turn that fan on real high. I'm not gonna do that for Kaylin Ashlely. If you were to be a sucker, what would you be a sucker for?

I'm and rather Jared answer this question.

For the Jonas brothers, well, that means that makes the most sense, right, I think the context.

So what would be a way to describe just celebrity, I mean pop culture specifically?

God, could you imagine's.

Pop culture is much more? I feel like, I don't want to speak for you, but like broad broad where yours is teeny bopper culture exactly?

I do give Kaylin and Ashley co hosted a pop culture segment. It would be so ripped, Like I'm not I don't even care about pop culture. I would listen to that. Yeah that's good. Yeah, so yeah, So that's the new concept of the show. We're going to be Suckers. We're still going to do our group chat once per week three of U's the Suckers podcast.

Isn't that the relationship side.

That will be like updating everyone what's going on in our lives. For the most part, it will be what we've done for the past year. And additionally to that too every day, not every day, but each one of us once per week. We will come out of their own episode.

Yes, you guys are like on one together right now. Is it a lot of bonding On the golf course.

We actually played in separate groups. Oh yeah, okay, but I played well. I shot in eighty three, very proud.

Yeah, anyways, that's fair. Okay.

This is our first time being together all together doing a podcast since our last rebrand.

Yeah, here go.

Yeah.

It's always so much better when we're in the same room as well.

Isn't it so much better? I wish, yeah, I wish, uh, you know, some company, whatever it would be. I don't know, it could be. Anybody would pay for.

Us to like get Metaquest three.

You would never be cool with that.

Room together.

You guys can move to Colorado.

We should all get VR goggles.

Well, VR goggles is getting somewhere.

Yeah, that way, we want us to get VR goggles.

That way, we could be sitting in separate rooms, but in the in the iHeart studio. Yeah exactly.

I already wonder if that would make a difference. That'd be kind of a cool experiment.

We should try it, if we could go to space one day. Stay tuned for VR suckers. We're a sucker for VR. Can we talk about why we're all together? We haven't mentioned that, so yes, So we're all together for one very specific reason, the celebration of what we all like to call love.

We're here for Gary and Teresa's wedding, and last night was really fun. You guys miss out because you're flying in, but it was fun. It was really fun. I was thinking about it. It's really cool that you can meet a bunch of new people and just feel like at home with them immediately, Like I met Molly Mesnik for the first time and absolute lover. We spent like the

It's so true that, Yeah, Mollie and Desiree, we were sitting next to I never met them, and they were with their husbands Jason and Chris, and we talks for hours and hours and hours and hours, and it wasn't even just about bachelor stuff. It could be about anything, but you it's just like, you know, you're not going out to dinner with random strangers every couple of weeks and having great conversation.

Right, you meet someone and it's small talk, but it's like we all just have this bond that brings us together.

It's pretty cool.

Yeah, it's really true.

I had lunch with Does and Molly today too, and I was like, why does the It's just I've met them both before. But it's just like you can just have like a very natural hour or so long conversation feeling like that you've been friends for a while, just the commonality obviously.

Yeah, I would never want to separate myself from the Bachelor. I only understand it when people have to do it for jobs. Like I remember years ago talking to Michael Gariffolo and he was talking about he was in an interview for a high position lawyer job because he's a lawyer, and they brought up Paradise and he always felt like it affected him negatively because they were like, well, like,

Why?

Why?

Especially if you're in entertainment. It's like, okay, come on, doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it's crazy.

It's like, honestly, it feels like a family, like you talked about last night, when everybody gets together and you're like, wow, this is so nice. I just feel like I can relate to you and I feel so comfortable around you. There's such a family aspect to this, both from people in front of the camera and behind the camera. Yeah. Yeah, I just I don't know why people are Some people are like even just don't even want to deal with

Even today on the golf course, I'm sorry to bring up golf, but I was in a group with Joey the current Bachelor and Jason Mesnik, the Bachelor from fifteen years ago, and Jason was telling stories, and Joey was like, oh, yeah, that's exactly how it is for me, Like there are so many similarities between a fifteen year gap of being the Bachelor, and so it's exactly.

What me and Molly were talking about last night. We were both twenty three on the show and like comparing our stories and every story that everyone has is so similar. So it's just like it's a really cool thing to have so many people here and just I don't know, have that commonality between us all.

And I for one dread these things because do you come into this, I'm excited to see like you guys Jared, Nashley and Ben and Wells some of my best friends obviously, but then you see the rest of the guest list and it's like a bunch of people you don't know, and you're like, Okay, crap, do I really want to go to this? But then you get there and you're like, I can't imagine having said no to this because it's so much fun and everyone's amazing and I'm having a blast.

Yeah, And usually we do things with iHeart and it's like people that we always spend time with, which is so fun, and this is like a bigger group people that we haven't met, and.

It's it's fun.

We met Gary yesterday, Caitlin and I and I thank you guys, Jerry, Gary and Theresa and.

It does look like Theresa.

And they were so nice. We like walked up to them and were like, hey, we just want to say hi before your nuptials tomorrow.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

And Gary was so great, like someone wanted to come say hi and take a picture with him, and Gary was like, I'm sorry, I'm introducing myself to these It's like I'm in the.

Middle of a conversation one second, which is just so I don't I don't know, like how many people would do that. Yeah, I wouldn't either. And it was so polite the way he did that. He's like, let me finish this conversation. I'll come back to you and then so.

Anyways, I'll have to say, we're here for the wedding. We're excited. If the wedding is in like, I.

Get ready four hours very soon.

What do you guys all wearing tonight?

Oh, good question.

I'm wearing block And I don't know if I've ever worn block to a wedding. I've actually never been Yeah, I kind of I kind of like being traditional and not wearing block to a wedding, but I know that isn't It's really okay now no, because black tie like still doesn't mean black ferg interesting, Yeah, because remember that it used to be a faux pas to wear black to.

A wedding, which is like to a funeral.

Yeah, would you ever wear red to a wedding?

I don't like myself in red, okay, but they also say that's not a good look.

Right, yeah, because that means you're the mistress.

That's like the old school thing, like the scarlet letter, and like all the dresses that I own that I like are red. We got invited to this pretty last minute, and I was like, I just know people are going to roast me on the internet if I wear a red dress to a wedding.

Oh I pray one of the Golden Bachelor ladies is wearing red.

And it's it's a scarlet letter kind of thing.

It's like, I think, like the old school thing is you're the mistress. That's what I read somewhere because I was like, why is this a faux pas?

But who knows?

Kaylen has little black.

Dress she's Gary's mistress.

That's all right, we can invite him into the couple. That's fine. No, Kaylen has this beautiful black dress. I don't know if she's actually gonna up wearing it because she's got a million options at them at all times. And I mean, I don't want to say that you're going to steal the show, but you're didn't be stealing the show in that thing.

I think it's very nice.

Ye, Theresa is gonna be a real man.

Jared and I are still attending this wedding having not met the bride.

And groom, which is shocking for you guys.

I feel like that hasn't been on the podcast.

Yeah, well that's weird for you.

It is weird. I will say this is very strange. They haven't been on.

Yeah.

I guess we've just been to a few weddings. I guess the only one that we really christ and Crystal we were we knew Well, I wouldn't say we were close with them.

We wouldn't have been invited if it was a normal wedding.

Yeah, Carlyn Evan, Yeah, we're close to them at the time. Is that the only other wedding? I mean, Tanner Jade. Obviously, has there been other bachelor weddings we've gone to?

Got you went to ours?

I meant on the show.

Yeah, yes, of course that's your's this wonderful wedding. Thanks is it?

Is it sad that the year of your wedding is over now, like twenty twenty three is gone.

No.

I was just going back through our photos to like have a photo book. My photographer was asking what photos we want and just looking through everyone's pictures again. There was a lot that I missed the first time in finding photos of you guys, and it was really fun. I think I did that on New Year's Day, so it was fun.

To relive it.

And we got our wedding video back, but we haven't watched it because we're in the middle of packing and I want to watch it once we're settled and not feeling so stressed. You know.

I hear some people wait till the annivers first anniversary to watch.

Oh, that's so cute. I don't know if I can wait that long.

That's a lot. It's nine months away. That's kind of a long time.

I don't think I could wait that long.

Yeah, are you guys out of the Vegas house yet.

No, so we move in a week. Our house is half five days, yeah, less than a week. Our house is half packed up. We got boxes everywhere.

It's very stressful.

You guys, could you if you wanted to be cutesy, you could set up like with no furniture in the house and there's just one TV and have like a little candlelight like you get in Chinese food or something.

You see it down on the like our final meal in the house, final.

Meal, and you watch your video. It's cute because it's the house that you I mean, it was the house that you own while you got married.

That is.

I don't know, it could be kind of cute.

That's like such a cute idea that he's like never implemented.

For us like that. It's just not in many years. And then you guys should totally post the Instagram because it'll definitely.

Oh yeah, now we're talking.

Yeah, great engagement guys.

It is funny sometimes like my friends last for advice on things, and I'll get like similar to what Jared just did. I'll give him advice. I'll be like, wow, that was so romantic of me. And then I'll let be like, oh, I never thought of doing that for my wife. Not in like a bad way, but like you know, when you're thinking for your friends, you think like maybe more out of the box. I guess, just do so much effort. Oh yeah, for sure.

Would you guys have a kid?

Yeah, you're not going to want to do anything.

What's the last romantic thing you've done for me? In the last romantic thing you've done for Ashley m.

I will the definition of romance. It changes, it changes.

You're going to say that it's romantic when you like do the dishes because I I'm not the person who thinks that. I think it's very nice and I'm like, oh, thank you so much for doing that, but I don't find that romantic.

And like a lot of women are like, oh my god, that's such a turn on. I'm like, that's no, because it's we're using the dishes together. I just need to get done.

Yeah, I wasn't gonna say that.

I don't know the last I mean, Jared like has done really kind things for me like that I can think of lately, but I can't think of anything romantic.

Let's splip it back around. What's the last romantic thing you've done for either of us.

I did not expect that atually.

Thank you. Maybe we could all just take a look at ourselves in the mirror.

I know I'm romantic.

I'm not saying you're not.

Yeah, what have you done for me?

Yeah?

I don't. I have not been very good.

Yeah.

Yeah. The last romantic thing I think I did was I bought like ten dozen flowers.

Ten dozen.

That's a lot.

He bought so many. Yeah, only that was like years ago.

That was like three months ago.

That was tw twenty three weeks ago.

It was three months ago, and just because it was Tuesday, just bought you a bunch of flowers. Thank you.

That's really sweet.

I have bought you many flowers. It's just been a little while. But to further record, I bought the flowers because I was like, I frick, I I think romantic. In a while, I'll tell you what I did something that I don't know if this is technically romantic, but I think it's so thoughtful that it could be romantic. So we're going to Disney.

That's what I said. That's what I'm in my head. This was kind.

This is like very yeah kind kind Jared, this isn't romantic. Jared, I love you so much, and it's okay that you haven't done anything romantic off the top of my head right now for a while. But I can't think neither can I. I'm not I'm saying that, like we probably need to work on that. Yeah, we really need to work on that. Well, you know, it's very I love it.

It's not to you said no Christmas gifts one another, yeah, which is always a lie.

Which is a lie except for this year. We suck to it, except for he didn't because he got me this.

But we are so timed, so like I don't need anything more like and.

I just feel like I'm busting at the seams with like stuff.

I'm not going to get her a blanket or slippers or anything like that. And then I was like, well, I want to get her something. So we're going to Florida here in a few weeks, uh to go to Disney for the first time and take Dawson. I'm so excited. And we're going with my parents, my sister and her, my niece, and then my cousin and her, so it's like pretty much my side of the family. And so I reached out to Lauren and I said, hey, would

I see we're Actually it's very sweet and kind. But is it romantic?

And that thing I also bought you laingerie?

Oh that's romantic.

Good job, thank you. I forgot all about that, which Jared was already.

Romantic.

Not much lately.

Extly know.

No, you did buy LAUNDERI, which I really enjoyed. Do you like it? If Deane were to buy you? Has he ever bought I never heard that you would you like it?

I know?

I was like, he would never in a millionaires that, why not? You should?

The only type of laundre I would ever buy you. You're gonna hate that I say this on a podcast is fish net, thigh high something about a girlish.

Jared loves thigh highs.

Dean loves thigh high boots and every time, like over the knee boots, and every time I wear them.

He's like, it's just not right. I think you're missing missing fish nets.

And I'm like, you want me to wear a thighs?

Oh god, stripper.

I don't care, like pretty woman have an effect on you at a young age because I think Julia Roberts in those boots.

Yeah, yeah, maybe maybe.

Possibly have you even you've never seen that. He's never seen that.

You've never seen pretty woman.

No, I've seen it. I've seen it. You work on commission, don't you.

He's quoting.

He's quoting the office, quoting pretty Woman.

Big mistake, that's huge, that's all he knows. But very hot.

I remember the.

Boots, but that's like what I wore. And she's not wearing fishnets, so what else?

So the what you're referring to right now is Kaitlin did wear some thigh high boots and they were like tan and they were went tight and I was like they got to be loose and they got to be baggy. I know, I know, I know how insane I sound.

He doesn't even know what he wants.

That's very true. That's so true, and I'm so sorry for subjecting you to that.

So it is awkward buying Ashley.

I want to know, like he got some he got some raunchy lingerie.

Really yeah, and yeah, Cross.

We got to know what exactly it was that we don't have to know exactly what it.

Is that I went. So I go to Victoria.

How you found this Victoria's Secret?

It was like on the doll, I'll take this one.

Did you say I'll take this?

No, I didn't say, like.

He's undress.

Mannequin. But yeah, it's always awkward no matter what I know. Victoria's Secrets is meant to be the store where a guy feels comfortable. But then I also saw so of course I go in there and I'm holding this and it's it is kind of raunchy, you know. So it's on a hangar.

At the Warwick Mall.

I was at the war Victoria's Secrets and then it's on a hangar, so like it's very clear as day what I'm purchasing. You know, there's no hiding this because there are straps. So it's like whatever, but so I'm holding it, and of course this girl comes up to me this and I used to volunteer with her at Camp Dottie, which was a summer camp for kids. So here I am. I see this girl that I used to volunteer with, and then I'm holding this. I'm like,

Was like, yeah, I know the kid.

You know, kids are doing great, and yeah.

It's too well.

I hope Jared just he's just a lainger guy. I saw this instagram really that was like this girl she was like in her sweatpants, like totally baggy sweatpants, and she was like, doesn't matter.

What I wear, like my husband always wants to get laid. And I'm like, this is the.

Most unrelatable thing, Like I like have to look good.

No, yes, maybe lately, no always, that's not true. You have also be.

Already been like that, I like to look good. I don't want to look I don't want to look yeah.

And they're like, let's be honest. I love you so much. You are beautiful and wonderful in so many ways, but nobody would accuse you of like someone who's just like Angelic in the morning.

I know we've talked about this, like you're so rude but so true.

Just a slob.

I know I'm not asked. I'm just saying that conversation on this podcast.

And I like, you know, I'm not saying that I'm not a slob.

At times, Jared, it's like, but what if I'm like fresh out of the shower and like have hairs, But then what if I'm warning that's fine.

I think they're hot.

He doesn't like like, no, I hate it. I want I want I like lingerie.

I was gonna say, I want him look like a tomboy. I think tom boys are sexy.

Jared has like he is so funny because.

Yours don't wear it. She calen Pu wears nice sweats that are also somewhat.

I'm not saying that I don't look cute, Like I know I don't look cute in sweatpants, and I know that she looks cute in sweatpants. No, she could wear the same sweatpants, but she has that look she's like not gen Z, but well she actually but she like pulls it off like gen Zsign them and I will know, even if I had designer sweats on, you still wouldn't think.

That like that was sexy on me. And it's fine. That's just how we were built in two different generations and and that's just how.

For the records, to your point that you made it earlier, I have such a gripe with these videos where it's like when your wife makes eye contact with you and it's like you instantly go to the bedroom, and it's like, we need to stop glorifying having an insane libido that doesn't exist and wanting to have sex with their wife every thirty seconds, because that's not real.

For the record, it's like a couple TikTokers who are making it see and there's it's the housewives too, or someone said this recently. It's like whoever's talking about sex and talking about how much sex they have is never having as much sex as they do.

So it's always those people who.

Are I mean, I don't you can't really generalize so much, but like, if you are having that much sex, it's your relationship probably sucks.

You're having necessarily true.

I see what you're saying, but like you're probably having sex to cope for all the other bad aspects of your relationship. Either way, I agree, and I'm sure there are super healthy relationships that they still have a lot of sex, but like, if your relationship is based on sex, it's not going to be very successful.

I think you're probably having sex so much just because you hate each other, which can be fun, but not not for a long term, happy, successful relationship. I remember when we first got together, and it's obviously the tours and talked about how about you being a virgin for so long that because I want when we started getting more into the relationship and then my sex drive started going down just as normal as any relationship and we

Yeah, no, when it messes with women's mindset. I feel like we've talked about this too, but because we do think that men just constantly think about sex and want sexy stupid video, I will agree.

There are some influencers where I'm like, I can't believe that I've seen multiple reels from you guys about like get into the bedroom, like yeah, what.

Yeah, it's not I don't we like normalize it as guys where you like Jared was just saying, like, you think that you're supposed to want to like want this all the time, but it's like I mean personally and both of our experiences just not that so.

But then being a woman, you're like, well, it's me. They're not objected to me, Like what what can I do?

The fish nets?

Some fish nets and some some boots that I don't know how to describe, ye, because I still don't even know what I like the fish nets?

You know, I think about way too much though, in all honesty, and I was thinking that it's an issue is football. I'm not we don't have to talk about it. But I was actually thinking about that last night because before I go to bed, I was thinking about I was honestly like manifesting myself playing football, and I was like, why do I think about that? I think about this way too much. This is a waste of my time.

Wait, while you're having sex?

No, no, like kiss good night and then I roll over it and like just fall, what about football?

Are you thinking about?

Legitimately? Me playing flag football with my buddies, and then it goes into like highlights of Tom Brady, and then I think about the NFL standings, and then I think about the playoff picture, like I wonder, okay, so if Pittsburgh wins, that means the Bills can't lose. And this is like forty five minutes of me, and then I fall asleep and then I wake up. I'm like, I should be reading. You think about this so much.

Kaylen hates it. She's like every Thursday, Sunday and Monday, all you do and think.

About is watch football, and I'm so over it.

I will say this since Tom has not been in like I was so invested when Tom was in the league and that was just really fun for me. But now that he's not been, Jared's been more of like a general fan of the NFL. So he watches all the games now like dissatisfy, like I don't know the hole in his heart, and I'm like, oh, okay, I'm boarded this, like I don't don't care about these guys.

Yeah too much anyway, okay.

And the Patriots are bad and the Broncos are bad, so it does kind of make you like I have to watch more of it anyways, that's going to do it. We're suckers for football, but no one else is, so that's why I have to button it up sometimes.

Zip it as Kathy.

Listener, thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope that you're on board with this brand change from us.

I'm excited. It's going to be fun.

So that was a great first episode.

Yeah, I agree. We're suckers for this podcast. We're suckers for you. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you're going to speed limit. If you're not wearing your seat belt, put it on because you don't want to be unsafe below.

It's going to be crazy twenty twenty four.

And Jared, you're going to be a sucker for fatherhood. Kalyn, you're going to be a sucker for pop culture. I'm a sucker for travel, but we're all suckers for life. And that's what we're going to talk about together.

Soon the next week.

Yeah, yeah, where maybe what are we going to do next week?

Well it's still maybe we suck a little bit less less.

I'll never die.

Yeah, so why are you panicking?

Hurry?

I have to but record my podcast I gotta go get ready.

Next week, we're hopefully we all suck just.

A little bit less.

Yeah,