Tis the (Cuffing) Season

one question. Yeah. I figure we'll give our listeners to break and just have a five minute podcast at the end of the year. Um, what what was your one like? Do you would you consider it overall a good year, a bad year, a weird year? It sounds it seems like a lot happened for you this year, But what would you overall? What would you rate it? Yeah? I always get a little emotional towards the end of the year. I think that John Lennon song raised like it's it's

a Christmas song. I can't remember the name of it now, but he's like a a year like just when and a new one begins again? Like very attached to two years and looking back and thinking about everything that's happened. So when I think about one, definitely a good year. I mean, dude, I'm still breathing. If I'm breathing, it's been a good year. And so we moved from Los Angeles back to Rhode Island cross country. That feels like

ten years ago, but that was earlier. This year, I went back to school and graduated, got my bachelor's long time coming. Uh, started a business. It's going well. I'm exhausted and just tired seven, but it's going really well. Ashley is pregnant. We're having a kid. Uh what else happened? I gotta say, of all of all the things for you the list off. I'm surprised it took you that long to say Ashley got pregnant, if it, because now

it doesn't feel that different. Nothing really has changed. In the beginning, it felt a lot different when she was constantly sick and debilitated and couldn't do anything. She's still a little sick, but now she's a functioning human being, just with a big belly. So it feels a little bit normal right now. I'm sure next year, when the kid is born, that is when it's going to be like, Okay, this was a drastic change from my life prior, but as of right now, it's like, oh yeah, she just

bumps into things with her belly. That's pretty much the difference right now. Uh. And what else, you know, Uh, you know, unfortunately had a couple of lost My grandfather passed away, and we lost our childhood dog. You know, you lost Pappy, So there's it's you know, definitely a little bit of a sad year too. But you know, it's kind of weird because when I think about death, it's a part of life, and you know, you had so much, you know, you were able to give Pappy

such a good life towards the end. And I think about my grandfather and it's like it's tragic, but he was also at ninety And I'm like, man, if my parents make it till ninety, how could I ever complain? So I don't know. This year put a lot of things into perspective. I think, a lot of life altering moves. So uh, personally, I felt it was a good year. Very philosophical of you, you know, Yeah, dude, I get philosophical. Towards the end of the year, I I like, I said,

it's it's an emotional time. Man. We're getting older, you know, it's crazy. We're getting older every second. We're older now than we were when we started this podcast, to which is uh scary to think about. That is a fact. And dude, it's two. How do we not have flying cars yet? It's two yet? Well, we gotta cut ourselves some slack here almost. Um sorry, I'm watching this dog

run around right before we started this podcast. We've got these sliding glass doors here in Los Angeles, and he like ran full steam at head right into the sliding glass door and he just bunked his head pretty hardest. Very sad, but very funny to see he's fine. Obviously, Um was you know, I would say, overall, pretty gosh darn good year. Trying to think back all the way

to January. Um, I mean, obviously we bought our house in one I'm never thought I'd be a homeowner, but here we are living our best lives out in Las Vegas, and uh, that's pretty, you know, pretty interesting and exciting for us. I suppose. Obviously we lost Patty pretty recently. That was pretty traumatic and heartbreaking, but like he said, with all death comes life and Honestly, the fact that we get to experience death is like a pretty pretty

large blessing, you know what I mean. Like the fact that we're experiencing other things die around us as morbid as it sounds, is like pretty cool because that just means that we're living long and we're you know, it's like it's and to be able to like process those types of things is really unique and interesting. So that sucked, but it was you know, it's still I guess whatever. Uh. We just got this new dog just the other day. His name from the shelter is Muttley. I was just

telling you guys before we got on air. He's Muttley. He's nine years old. He weighs twenty two pounds and he should be weighing like twelve pounds, so he's a good ten pounds overweight. He's got cat or acts or something wrong with his eyeballs. But you know, we we kind of felt we were kind of torn on what to do because like we're still grieving the loss of Pappy, but we like missed a little pitter patterns of footsteps around the house. Oh, he's peeing in the house right now.

He's a marker. So he just marks things all the time. Yeah, he's he's his new house. Bro. He's gotta you know, he's gotta. He's gonna let you guys know who's boss. He's laying claim to the house as he should, as he should. Um. We yeah, we weren't sure what to do because we miss Pappy. We're still grieving the loss of Pappy, but like at the end of the day, we miss uh just the companionship that the dog brought

into our lives. And um, guys, where as it sounds like, you know, just to have like a third person in the relationship, Like obviously it's not really a person, it's a dog, but you can kind of have like he's like a therapist in a way. You can kind of have like conversations with each other through the dog, and he's like kind of like the impartial bystander in any of those conversations. Yeah, dogs are the best listeners. What is his what is his name again? Well, from the

foster his name was Muttley. Um, and he's got like medical records dating back to you know, years ago with the name Mutley. So that is his name, but we hate the name Mutley. Or he's a good boy, we've got like three names. We've got like five names that we want to consider. I want to name him Alistair, after the guy from Harry Potter with the wonky eyeball, because he's got a wonky eyeball. I thought that'd be

pretty funny. Yeah, yeah, that professor um Or. I want to name him Gordo, which would be funny because Caylin loves Lizzie McGuire, but also Gordo in Spanish means fat, and since he's so overweight, it's kind of like a double entendre in a sense like that. Easton also just chimed in mad Eye Moody. That's what I think, Alistair, mad Eye Moody. That's right. And then I said, let's name a Moody, but Caitlin wasn't into Moody. And then the last one, um I think I wanted to name

him Oslo or something like that. It's just hard because we like, we don't want to keep calling Hi Mutley, but we want to settle on a name, and so we're just giving it some time. So I vote for matt Ei Moody the whole name. Yeah, Alistair mad Ei Moody. So every time, like matt Ei Moody, Come here, Come here,

mad Eim Moody, play dead I Moody. That's the thing too, It's like you don't want to be like yelling at the dog and having to spit out like nine syllables, because what what kind of it's like when you're when your parents would be like really angry at you and they would use your middle name to yell at you. Dude, that dog is nine years old and you guys just got him. There's no way you're yelling at that dog. Yeah, spoil the ship out of Motley as you well should.

His name is not Mutley, Okay, it's Alistair mad Ei Moody. Sorry, you're gonna spoiler out of Alistair Madi Moody, and he should have all four names. So overall, I think I got a little sidetrack there over one great great year, um, minus the negatives. And like, obviously we've kind of got a better hold on this whole COVID thing, so we've

been able to travel a little bit more freely. Um, Obviously we got this whole Omnicron thing going on and all that kind of stuff, but we've got we've gotten some of our liberties back, which is pretty nice, you know, like we and go outside and go to stores and see friends and not have to worry as much. So yeah, I would say, pretty pretty decent year all around. I remember when I was single and thinking about the New Year and be like, oh, you know, this is the

year that I'm gonna meet Like I I would. I would think a lot, whether it be Christmas or New Year's when I was single, and be like, Okay, by this time next year, I will be in a relationship, so I don't spend the holidays alone. And then a year would go by and I would be single again, spending the holidays alone, and be like, Okay, I didn't really get that far this year. Next year is the

year that I'm going to have a relationship. And then a year would go by and then the same thing, and then I ended up getting married, and that's how my life went. So you were always hoping to be in a relationship for I don't think, like I guess maybe I just I reminisced too much and I glorify the past, so I think I like, I always think like during Christmas that okay, next year at Christmas, I will be in a relationship. But I don't think I'm

alone on that. Everybody feels lonely during the holidays when they're single. Well, there's the reason. It's there's a reason it's called the cuffing season, you know, because it's cold outside. You just want someone to like stay indoors with and snuggle with and drincock cocoa and maybe you put down like a glass of wine or two watch a crappy funny movie. Is that funny that the weather like makes you either want to be single in a relationship when do you want to be in a relationship? It is.

It is pretty curious why that. I mean, obviously it's pretty clear why it is. But like, it is funny how it's just like uniform across the like, no matter where you are in the world. As long as there's like these dramatic swings between seasons, I'm sure everyone feels exactly the same way. Like Summer you're like taking your

clothes off and your party at the beach. Winter you're bundling up and you're having there's there's suntan lotion you have, um speaking of having a tan, Yeah, you went, dude, I haven't seen the sun in like three weeks. All right, I'm a hard working man. You're looking real Robert Pattinson esque, which I'm sure Ashley loves. Dude. It's crazy how pale I get. It's honestly an insecurity of mine. Hi. I

remember one time Ashley. I made Ashley cry. I felt bad, but at the same time she made me feel bad. So I get super pale during the winter, insane security of mine because I feel like I don't look that good pale. I'm like translucent. But I walked in This was during the pandemic. I think. I can't remember what it was, but the point is We're at Ashley's parents house and I walked into the room and Ashley was like, man, you were looking real pale lately. And I said, yeah,

well you're looking real pimplee lately. Apparently I hit a nerve and she started crying and she was like, you know, that's an insecurity of mine. I was like, well, that's an insecurity of mine. She's like, it's the hormones. It's not me. I know, so I don't. I'd actually like to put a poll out there to suck army because I still feel like I didn't do that much wrong.

What do you think? She came at me, she said, you're looking real pale lately, And granted she said it sarcastically, but there was definitely truth in it, because, as you can see, I get white as hell. So then I rebuttled with, well, you're really looking real pimplee lately. She started crying and she thought that I was being a jerk. What do you think? Um, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you what. You don't care? Uh no, I oh,

I absolutely care. Um, you know how bad, how hurt you were for her to say that thing to you, and then you were like, this paint sucks. Feel it with me? That's pretty that's pretty bad. That's a jerk move. On top of that, on top of that, on top of wanting her to come is right with you? And in that bad feeling, she's also pregnant and she's bearing the fruit of your loins. Um, I think that she kind of gets she should get a pass for any mean things she says from now until mid February and

probably you know, a few months beyond. To be fair, I can't remember if she was pregned or not. I don't remember what this was oh, well in that case. In that case, yeah, it changes the whole dynamic of the conversation. Eastern shin or no hanasan it said jerk. Well, so she's allowed to like jab at me, but I can't jab back. Is this this seems a little sexist? O Hannah says, yep, I mean, listen, um, it happens.

It happens with me and Caitlin pretty often. You know, she'll say something, uh, digging out one of my insecurities. Actually no, she doesn't really, but it does take a lot of self restraint not to like lean in and say something mean back. And I just she probably caught you on an off day, you know, like, let's give you the benefit of the doubt. There, you were just having an off day. You're a little irritable. Perhaps maybe

you hadn't had your morning cup of coffee. Maybe I had too much coffee, could have been he's I don't know, I don't know. But you're still looking back on it now, I saying you don't think you did anything wrong, which maybe you did. Maybe there maybe there's some context here that we're missing out on. No, not really, that's the whole story right there. So I want to Yeah, suck Army,

let us know in the emails and on Instagram. I want to know if I was being a jerk or not like or at least can we at least agree maybe I was sixty? It was sixty? Is that a fair number? Hannah? What do you think at least I'll take I'll take six of the blame. I'm not saying Ashley is completely She says, sure, she doesn't care. This is ridiculous. Ashley deserves at least the blame on that one. Let me say this, if it wasn't for Ashley making that an original comment, there would have been no need

for you to make the rebuttal. So, yeah, she's not blameless in the situation, There's no question about it. Um. Just how much blame are Well were willing to put on Ashley? I'm saying for if we if we want to put a number two, I would say sixty is good. Six your fault, her fault. Uh. There's this one quote that always six with me that maybe you should carry this over next time. Ashley says, you know, takes a dig at you. Oh God, can't wait to hear it.

It's it's simple, It's just it's controversy. Wait, uh, conflict can't survive without your participation, and so she says something mean, there can't be any conflict unless you choose to participate in that conflict. So all you gotta do is wash your hands clean and in your head. Maybe maybe just stay it in your head, but don't stay it out loud, and just walk away and be the bigger man, be the bigger person. I guess not to be too gender specific here, that's my advice, but what do I know.

I I suck at dating just as much as anyone else. It's just it's it's funny to look back and diagnosed the situation. Yeah, hindsight's always twenty and twenty. Well, we do have some hot topics that are coming up. One specific that I really want to talk about is about a human being we've talked a lot about on this podcast, specifically recently, So make sure you stay tuned. We're gonna get into that right after this break. Al Right, everybody,

welcome back to help I suck at dating. And as Jared promised, there's a human being that we talked about way way too much. Well, let's I digress one person. We talk about person on this podcast talks about way, way too much. Yeah, that's a fair point. I'm going to read this because I feel like you're a little too close to it. So I'm gonna read it, and then I want you, I want to hear your thoughts on it. So the headline is Ben Affleck says he

felt trapped in his marriage to Jennifer Garner. Like that headline is is bad enough as it is. This dog, I'm sorry that dog is freaking out right now. So okay, I'm gonna read this little article. We're real quick. Ben Affleck opened up about his marriage to Jennifer Gardner, and social media is not happy. The last Duel star talked to Howard Stern about being wed to Garner and so that he that had they not split in two thousand

and fifteen, that he would probably still be drinking. It's part of why I started drinking, Affleck told Howard Stern because he was trapped. Obviously, we know they woke up not too long ago, their parents of the sixteen year old and twelve year old and nine year old kid. They had a marriage. I didn't work. Obviously, all these things, but Ben Affleck ultimately said that they tried. They tried,

and we tried because we had kids. The Academy Academy Award winning actor has been open about the struggle with alcohol and addiction. He says, I was like, it was like, I can't leave because my kids and I'm not happy, But what do I do? Affleck later said what I what I did was drink a bottle of Scotch fall asleep on the couch, which turned out to be a bad solution to the problem. He says, they, uh, don't blame it on her, is what he's saying. So basically

what I'm sorry, I'm just trying to paraphrase. I'm trying to read ahead, and that's why I couldn't really get it all out. So basically what he's saying is he felt trapped in his marriage with Jennifer Garner because they had three kids and he felt like he had a resort to alcohol, and so Jared, as a big Ben Affleck fan, this doesn't sound bad. It sounds like it's probably a lot more common than we are are willing

to admit. Right, what do you think. I don't get why this is such a revelation or why he's getting so much criticism because I feel like he is getting kind of whacked across the face right now. People are mad at Ben Affleck to the point he was on Jimmy Kimmel the other day and he addressed it because he felt like he was getting so much criticism. And I don't get why. Listen, Jennifer Gardner seems like a sweetheart.

I was really hoping that those two would work things out, because again, I like Ben Affleck a lot, but he's with j Low, so I'm happy for him. But dude, it's like he wasn't It didn't seem to me like he was blaming Jennifer Gardner. It just seemed like he was saying, I was unhappy, I was depressed, so I started drinking. I don't know. And no point does it seem like he's blaming Jennifer Gardner for him being an alcoholic.

He seems like he's blaming himself. Um. I think I think the big the big headlines, so to speak, is it's not that he was blaming Jennifer Garner, but more so that he felt trapped in his relationship with her. And I think the part of that is because of the kids that they had. Right well, I mean have you ever felt like you were trapped in a relationship, Like yeah, absolutely, Yeah. It's a pretty shutty feeling, isn't it, Where you feel like you can't leave, and then you

add kids to the situation, it makes it way worse. Now, listen, if you want to give him flak for like publicly discussing this, then sure. But at the same time, we always praise celebrities who opened up their lives to us and become vulnerable and talk about real things. This is a real thing. And listen, Jennifer Garner, like she seems awesome, and I just don't. I think Ben Affleck can be open and honest without and without blaming Jennifer Garners. That

make sense, Like the two are not mutually exclusive. He could say he was unhappy and felt like he was trapped and he started drinking because of that, and he can also not be billaming with Jennifer Gardner, which I think he's doing simultaneously. Right. I agree with what you're saying. It's not even it's not even a matter of who it was that he was married too. It was just the fact of the position that he was in, and that's why he was like drinking more and all that stuff.

It's like he could have been married to j Low, for instance, at that time too, and I feel like this feeling still would have festered and bubbled up to the surface. I mean, I don't want to get into the thick of it, but that's just that's just my interpretation of it. It's not who. It's just a matter of him at the end of the day, like you know what I mean. So my question for you is, how does he How is he absorbing all of this

backlash because he doesn't have social media. I thought I think he might be on Instagram, But it's just like news publications. He's obviously aware of what people are saying about him. That's all it is. He's not ignoring the noise. I'll be honest. I didn't know that he had kids. Oh yeah, he has two three kids with Jennifer Gardner. I think I thought he was dating on a day Armiss who on a day Armist. She was from like ward off Bugs and she she's like the new James Bond.

I think, Oh no, he might have, like you know, might have been a fling Eastern's coming in. He knows all about this. Apparently that was an exciting time for to be a Ben Affleck fan. They were dating in like right right before the j LO reboot, and she was in Knives Out. If you remember, she's she's the main guys that. Yeah, she and she's a very attractive young lady. But she's what else she's in bond? What else is she known for it? There's something else war Dogs.

She's the wife and Miles Seller's wife and war Dogs. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's what I think put her on the scene. I only know all these things because one of my roommates is uh Is in Madie Love Mother. There's there's a movie the title Escapes and I'll find it, but Kiana Reeves is in it and on it Armis gets naked and and it's a very fun movie for those two reasons. Yeah, I think Kiana has sex with her in that movie. But I'll send

you the title off the air. Thanks for sharing that, Easton. I really appreciate that. I definitely added to the You're welcome to that um quick quick sidebar before we uh wait, what were you gonna say, Jared, Because I was just gonna say because you were asking about like, oh, is he getting trashed? Like I'm I just googled Ben Affleck and uh, like all these articles came out. Now granted it's like page six, but it says, like, you know,

Jennifer Gardner pal's trash, Ben Affleck call his comments disgusting. Uh, Cosmopolitan, Jennifer Garner's friends think, Ben Afflecking, We're just disgusting. Up up, up, up New York. Post one, you know, says Ben Affleck's cruelty knows no limits after terrible Jennifer Gardner insult. And then yeah, just like a couple of things. Well I want to say that, I uh, maybe we should listen to the whole interview, but like I don't know those quotes.

I'm like, you know, I don't know. Like page six also says Jennifer Lopez is pissed about Ben Affleck dissing Jennifer Gardner. It's just like who, who, where do you get that information from? Like who's saying that Jennifer Gunners pisted. I'm sure it's like a quote unquote inside sourcing these things that like obviously it's just no one, like they're just assuming that she's pissed and they're trying to like spend some sort of click baity article out of it.

I want to say that I'm I'm happy that both of them were able to get out of the relationship. You know, it's hard to it's hard to leave those relationships. I can only imagine when you have kids, especially and you're you know, of a certain age for lack of a better word, where it's like you're you're very hesitant to get back into the dating pool. I think a lot of people are like willing to stick through those shitty and crappy relationships because of all of the hurdles

that would come after it. So proaps to them for getting out of it, you know, Like, I think that's something worth commending. Well, what so you said you felt trapped in a relationship before? What did you do? Um? I think whenever I felt trapped in a relationship, and this is this is years ago, I would resort to like getting wasted with my friends and like going out and making like a bad decision, like you know, like

a one night stand or something like that. Because I think I'm so conflict a verse that I would always give the other person the relationship a reason to break up with me, you know, Yeah, so you'd give them the upper hand. You intentionally lost the game? Yeah, tanked you were like you were like the Atlanta Hawks who were just in the NBA, just like, hey, let's tank and try to get the number one pick. And as think, like we just tank this relationship and try to get

out of this. I wish I had the like the the meant the testicular fortitude to just like step up and be like this isn't working for me. We should get out. But but I just made bad decisions and I hurt people more by doing things. By the way, is mad Eye Moody just scratching at the couch right now, because can you guys hear that was saying hello Alistair Alistair mad Ei Moody, you are adorable. He's a digger, he was. He was laying in Bethels last thing, his

first night. He was digging it for like a good thirty manch just like that. He's got to get comfy. He does have a big belly, doesn't he Look at that thing? What does this accomplish and like stopping up his little laying area or something. I think it is because like well Lois does the same thing. She'll dig and then lay down in the area she just dug Now he's going to town though, because he's still doing it.

I mean like Patty would do this too, but he would maybe do like three scratches and be like, Okay, cool, that's enough. This guy just goes and goes and go is mad II Moody fixed? He is fixed. He's also we think he's too fat to like lick his butt. We think he like needs to lick something on his butt. Boards not sure what, so we gotta swim him down a little bit. He was in the foster program for a whole month before we got him, and apparently he weighed even he was even heavier. He was like six

pounds heavier than this. So oh wow, Alex, he's got some work to do. But anyways, what were we talking about. Well, he's gonna cudd He's cuddling right up against you find mat II Moody, Hi buddy. Yeah, so that's that's that guy. Um, what about you? Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship before? Yeah, there was one relationship, but it was nobody's fault on my own where I felt trapped at the end, where I was having difficulty getting out of it.

It was that age old story we would break up and then we would say, hey, let's take a break for a month and see how it goes. And we knew it was just going downhill, and it was sad and tragic, and just again, like you, I wish I had the you know, um, I wish I was just I handled the situation better. I always, you know, it's kind of one thing I look back at I regret.

I wish I was more mature in that moment to just handle the situation better and be able to communicate better, uh, and be more honest and transparent with how I was feeling and and where we wanted to go. But it's tough, man. It's so much easier said than done. You just don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. You don't want to be the bad guy. You don't want to make someone sad or you know, you don't want to be a part

of something that's not working out. So I, you know, with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Gardner, with any of you know, people who get divorced out there. You know, I'm assuming that a lot of people who get divorced they kind of feel like they almost failed. That's how I felt anyway. UM, I'm not saying that that's how everybody feels, but at least my personal experience, anytime a relationship ended, it was like I just felt like a failure type type thing. Not you know, not that it was a waste of

time or you know, I made a mistake. It just felt like I failed, you know, That's what it felt like. And so that's when I felt trapped, where I felt like I was just letting the other person down constantly, and I felt like a piece of human being. And I would try to mask it or I would try to just distract myself or like you said, like just kind of like put it to the side and hope, you know, I hope that time would heal all wounds.

So I think, uh, I think something you kind of gain with age and the fact that you know you're in your relationship with actually now and that's going to be the relationship and wrest your life and me with Klin and just kind of what you can look back on and understand better is there are like so many relationships that you were meant to have that were like meant to fail, you know what I mean, So that way you could be a better husband to your now wife.

And I think that when you're going through like a breakup or a patch with a friend, when when you're younger, is you're thinking about all of the negative things about it, but like all of those negative things are going to lead you to hopefully eventually be like a better partner for you know, you're like I said, you're now wife.

Or if your parents get divorced, Like imagine if your parents got divorced and they would be like, oh, our marriage was a failure because we're divorced now and you're looking at them and you're like, well, no, like your marriage gave you guys, me, I don't think. I don't think that makes you a failure, you know what I mean? So I think that there's a lot of different ways

you can look at it. Yeah, it's weird because I guess even though they're the same word, I kind of define them differently between being a failure and having failed at something. You know, it's the same thing, but being a failure sounds so much worse to me. It sounds like being a loser, I think because being a failure kind of insinuates that you're like a repeat offender. You're you failed many times, and you will always be failing. Yeah, where when you failed at something, you just you failed.

You know, you've failed the test or you know, you failed to accomplish a task. It was just more so that one instance that you were not quote unquote good enough um to you know, achieve your goal, so to speak. But yeah, being a failure. Yeah, when you say it like that, I'm like, oh Jesus, never mind, I want to take that word out of vocabulary. That sounds terrible. Hey, we didn't we didn't get to talk about this much in the first segment. But what's your plan for Christmas? Uh?

Plan for Christmas? Staying home? Um, So my sister just had her you know, baby girl. So uh, we'll probably just go over that house, eat at home. Dude. I just want to eat at home and then pass out at five o'clock. I and then like open gifts or you know, in the morning, even though it will be all gift cards. But that's solely fine. It's more so just sitting down around the tree, opening gifts, having a Christmas story on in the background, really just feeling all

the nostalgia that I crave. That's what I'm looking forward to. Um, Christmas Eve. I think I'm gonna go over my cousins, which I'm so excited about. I just love family gatherings. And it sucks right now because everybody's getting more and more nervous about COVID. But you know, my family's vaccinated and my friends are too, so it's like there's only so much we can do and want to spend the holidays together. So I'm excited for Christmas Eve, I'm excited

for Christmas Day. Um. I just it sucks. And I don't know if this is a product of getting older or just a product of being so busy right now with the shop. It just, dude, it does not feel like Christmas at all. I haven't watched I've only seen like thirty minutes of Christmas Vacation. I haven't watched any other Christmas movies. This is bullshit, Like I need to

get in the spirit. I needed to snow. It's like sixty degrees outside and here in Rhode Island it's warmer here than in l A. I think this is ridiculous. It's pretty cold and la to day. I'll tell you what, Um, I got a question for you. So Caitlin and I have been arguing back and forth about this pretty consistently leading up to it. Christmas Day, so my siblings are coming into Vegas to hang out with all together for Christmas.

Christmas Day, I wanted to plan something for us, like go see a show or that's basically what it is. I wanted to do see like third Days to lay or something on Christmas Day. And Caitlin was like, no, Like the point of Christmas Day is to like just wake up in the morning and like lounge rout in your pajamas all day long and like not having the obligations. And I get that, but I also was kind of saying like, yeah, but it's like it's it would be boring.

After a while, was like, let's plan something for late later in the day. So what's your stance on that Christmas Day? Do you do you want to just stay in your house and your pajamas all day or would you rather have one thing planned? No, I'm I want to stay in my pajamas all day, That's all I want to do. I'm listen, I understand your perspective. Like a friend of mine, her and her family every single Christmas night goes they go to the casino, like that's

their tradition, and they go gamble as a family. It's actually quite fun. But I'm the guy, Dude, I want to eat at like two or three, and I want to lay down on the couch and watch basketball or watch a Christmas movie and then pass the hell out and wake up on the twenty six and continue with life and get ready for New Year's Eve. Um, that's what I want. It sucks, dude. I can't belave Christmas is already almost. It's oh my god, it's eight days away.

That is crazy. It doesn't feel like it, like you were saying. I'm obviously not in Rhode Island, but even like in l A in Las Vegas, obviously there's never really gonna be much snow, but it just doesn't feel like it's winter. You know. Yeah, I need a good snowfall. It's supposed to possibly snow tomorrow, but it's gonna be like rain snow, so it's gonna be disgusting and not pretty slushy and like you're gonna be splash around all

the worst. I need white snow. It snowed a little bit a few nights ago, and I captured a nice little video outside Audrey's, which is great, but I need more snow, and yeah, dude, it just sucks because I'm like snow after New Year's just blows. It's like, I want snow for the holidays and then I want sun. But of course it's gonna snow in January and February and we're gonna get four ft of snow and it's gonna suck ass because we have nothing to look forward

to except for spring to come. That's all we have to look for. Word too, which is the melting of the snow, melting of the snow, warmer weather on the horizon, summer almost on deck. That's that's the light at the end of the tunnel. That's all we got. So all I want for the next week is just one. Doesn't have to be a lot. I want flurries anything. Give me snow, give me a little bit of cold. I like the cold around the holidays. It's way too warm.

I walked outside this morning. Granted it was a little chilly because it was, you know, six o'clock in the morning, but it was too warm. I need snow. I'm in a relationship, Okay, I need to cuddle. I need hot cocoa. Alright, I'm not. I'm not you know, hot girl summer right now? This is the hell of Ara and you're going on here. Sorry, well you walked away. I didn't know if you were going to be able to like still communicate, so I was like, I'll just talk for a few minutes until

Dean sits back down. And now you're here and I'm still talking like I feel like Alistair Matdi Moody right now. I'm a good ten pounds overweight, I'm pale as hell, I'm tired, my back hurts. I'm not in the Christmas spirit. I haven't bought any Christmas Presidents. I've bought one one, god damn Christmas President all I have. And I'm eight days away and I'm not gonna have any free time coming up. I've had two and a half hours of free time over the past three weeks, and do you

want to know what I did with that? Do you want to know what I did with my two and a half hours of free time over the past three weeks. I went to go see Spider Man No Way Home by myself, And you want to know why, because I'm dying to see it. And I was like, you know what, Jared, you deserve this. You're invested in the movie. You love film. You've been a fan of Spider Man all your life, and you need to see this movie before it gets

spoiled for you. And I'm so happy I did. There's literally a movie theater twenty ft maybe not feet from my coffee shop in South County Commons. I I left the coffee shop at two fifty eight. I saw a screening of Spider Man at three o'clock in the movie theater. It was over by five thirty, and I was back in the coffee shop at five thirty two. Hannah says, Jared is stressing me out. I'm losing my mind. No, I think this is great. I want you to keep going. This is the most fun I've ever had on the

podcast ever. I'm glad. I'm happy for you. We should take a break, man, lots of things we need to make more money. Let's take a break and here from one of our wonderful sponsors, and we'll be back with emails on the other side. What do you say, Dean sure thing? Jared, all right, welcome back to the podcast. We have emails. Of course, Dean's favorite segment. The only reason he deals with my dumbass on this podcast on a weekly basis. I don't know who else is in

the galaxy out there in this Zoom universe. Easton, you want to read a email or two? We got to. We got one from Devon, We have one from Gabby. Both great names. No anonymous this week, but I still feel like they're pretty juicy. Easton's nine here is he? So it's up to Hunter to reading for us. I knew this was coming all right. Our first email is

from Devon. She says, my boyfriend and I have been together for just over two years, and the only real issue in our relationship is that his best friend has made it clear that she does not like me. She constantly makes passive aggressive comments to me, talks crap about me to other people in her friend group, and refuses to hang out with me even when my boyfriend is there. She has literally left parties to avoid me in the past.

As far as I know, I haven't said or done anything to offend her, so I have no idea what she has against me. I brought it up to my boyfriend several times over the past few months, but he keeps brushing it off and telling me not to take it personally. I've also tried reaching out to her to ask to meet up for lunch and to talk, but I've never heard back. What should I do? For context? We are all in our early thirties and they've been friends for almost nine years. I think I got this one.

I think I've cracked the case. I love it. Irritable, Jared, lay it on us? What do you got for it? Dude? This best friend is in love with your boyfriend, and she's extremely jealous of you, which is why she hates you and wants you out of the picture. She wants to eliminate you from the relationship, so the best friend can swoop in like Julia Roberts and my best friend's wedding and try to convince her best friend that she's

in love with him. Mm hmm Okay, I think that's kind of where my mind went to immediately as well. But also let's consider the alternative. Maybe the best friend has a good idea for like the best idea for the partner that this guy should have, and she doesn't agree with with him dating Devon because she knows that

they're not a match. Think about it this way. There is like you know, you can look at it from two perspectives where it's like you have the protagonist on either side, like the either the best friend is the good is the is the good guy or Devon is the good guy, and it's like which one is which? Obviously it's up for the boyfriend to decide which one is which. But one of the one of these people are gonna have to go. Yeah, one of them gotta go.

My initial reaction is saying the best friend, Oh my god, I have that's so funny. I'm staring at Ashley's VHS v h S tapes which she still has on her shelf and guests which one is staring me in the face? Um, the one that you just talked about my best friend's wedding, followed by Win a Day with Tad Hamilton's wedding planner ever After, What Women Want a Walk to Remember, Pretty Woman, Sleepless in Seattle, when Harry met Sally Ghost and Legally Blonde.

You know that's a good VHS selection, right If I had to make a list of what I would suspect Ashley's VHS collection to be, like, that's exactly what it would be. Yeah, that's a fair statement. Anyway, back to Devon,

I feel, yeah, listen, something's up. What makes me take Devin's side is Devon is saying that she's reaching out, she's extending the olive trach, and this friend is not given any wiggle room, which makes me think that this friend already has her mind set and isn't willing to change it, which makes me think that she's in love with the boyfriend and wants to be with him. Yeah. Right, that's a good point. It's not a matter. It's not like she doesn't like Devin. She's just gonna dislike whoever

this guy is dating. So it's like the guy I could be dating freaking j Lo for goodness sake, and she's not gonna like her because, like you said, it sounds like she's got the hots for the guy. But that's that's It's just it's such a it's such a bad tripe to fall into, you know, like, guys and girls should be able to be friends without this like

ulterior motive blooming. So I hate to go there, but I do think you're I think that they're like if you're reaching out trying to be friendly with his best friend, and she's kind of like rebuking all these advances, then she just seems like she might be into the guy.

So what does she do? How do we how do we advise Devon to proceed here, because like, I don't want to go as far as say, tell your boyfriend that he needs to choose between what you or her, right, I know, I don't think that's the appropriate I think if you do that, you could push the boyfriend away.

Remember how this full circle moment right here on this podcast when we were talking about the situation when with Ashley and I, right, she said the pale thing, I said the pimple thing, and you said, you know, sometimes it's better just to be the bigger person. I think right now, Devon, maybe as much as it's gonna suck, and you're probably gonna have to swallow your pride a little bit. If you are the bigger person in this instance and you are killing this best friend with kindness,

I think you're boyfriend's going to appreciate it. And I think all you're gonna do is make the best friend even more annoyed and mad, which secretly I think you want, Devon, because this person apparently doesn't like you, so treat them as if you were working at a coffee shop. Let's call this coffee shop Audrey's for for the sake of the argument. If you were working at Audrey's and there was a customer that came in who was rude and disrespectful and wrong, I would ask my employee to just say,

kill him with kindness. Keep killing with the kindness, and then when they walk away, that's when you can say, this person sucks under your breath, but killing with kindness. Anytime she goes low, you go hi, baby. I was gonna say too, to add to bolster that point a little bit, is now your boyfriend is going to see you being continuously nice to this girl and then she he's gonna see her continuously being passive, aggressive and kind

of jerky towards you. And I think it will silly like shift his mindset on who the bigger person really is, which what sounds like it's you. So I agree, killing with kindness maybe, like, don't go out of your way to hang out this person anymore. Like you put your you put your effort out there, You did your best. She obviously didn't want to reciprocate, and so now like just kind of do your best to be the bigger person. I agree. I think that's all. That's all sound advice.

I think that's that's the winning attitude right there. You know what else makes me think that Devon is in the right here because she's a part of Suck army. And if if you listen to help I suck at dating, then you have pretty good decision making. And I think, Devin, you're probably in the right We got you back, Jared. I'm impressed. Man, You're You've got a lot of really good, really good things to say today. I need more coffee. I think I think you're probably good on the coffee.

All right, Well, Devin, so there's your answer. I hope it works out for you. Check in with us in like a month. Let us know how things are going. If you're in a situation similar, Devon email us I suck a dating at iHeart media dot Com. Always got to sneak that in there, um hand. And let's get to the last email here, what do you say? All right? The last email is from Gabby and she says, this is my first time ever emailing any podcast ever, but I had to because of the podcast episode titled setting

the bar Low from February four, in twenty twenty. In this episode, you had dr Ish as the guest, and you guys are speaking about your relationships. It is so crazy. Here Jared talked about wanting to open up a cafe and call Audrey's all the way back then and now I am seeing it become a reality. Also a dean talk about marriage and relationships has changed to the way he speaks about it in the recent episodes. So Gabby has five questions, but I think we can this last

episode of one with this question. It seems pretty fitting. She says, how do you think you have grown in the last two years individually, as a couple and personally in relation to your relationship? M m well, I want to start off by saying, well, a couple of things I want to say, Gabby, thanks for being a listener. Thanks for emailing your first podcast ever, We're not we're honored to be uh. To have that milestone attached to your podcast emailby Gabby feels like a plant's yeah, there's

she's too good. This is too good of a question, too good of a listener. This is Hannah in disguise. I don't care. She's real. Gabby, You're questioning it. Thank you very Gabby. If you're real, you're amazing, and we love you so much because this is one hell of an email. This is where my first thought went to, is that Jared. She's giving Jared a lot of credit

and she's not giving me. Not that I deserve it, but Jared, you said something in February, and look, in December it became a reality, Dean, you're getting better at your relationship. It wasn't just February. It was February of last year. It was a year, almost two years. I missed that. I thought it was a buriod of this year. So yeah, so you have a very tangible, fungible thing, you know what I mean. And then me, I just I got better in my relationship. That's that's my takeaway

from what Gabby said. But you know, I digress. I I appreciate it nonetheless because you're right, I have gotten way better at my relationship, which is not really a thing that can be said, because who's to say that I am better? I don't know, Like who's to say a little better? Well, we can ask Kalin, She'll know, yeah, but like who is she to even say whether I'm better or not? You know what I mean, Like, there's just a lot of She's an important piece in that. Yeah,

I don't disagree with that. My point is you've got this very like tangible, like brick and mortar, rock solid thing, and then mine just like an arbitrary thought that's out in the ether somewhere. UM. Anyways, So the question was, how do you think you've grown in the last year's individually, as a couple and personally in relation to your relationship. UM.

I think that over the past two years. I uh, well, Caitlin and I kind of got into a argument about this, and so maybe this isn't the best example to use, but I would say that I, um, over the past two years, have gotten a lot more considerate of Kalin's UM I guess feelings a and like her livelihood have. I take that in a lot more consideration when I

make my decisions on a regular basis. Uh. The reason it kind of became a conversation piece today was I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go play golf two days tomorrow or next week with my one of my good buddies in Las Vegas, and she was like, oh, like, we have a lot of stuff to do around the house, and I was like, well, I was kind of just giving you the courtesy of telling you what I'm doing. I'm not like, I'm not sitting here asking for your

permission to do it, you know what I mean. So while I do say that, well, I do say that I'm no more considered at her feelings and the things that she wants. I still have to I still have to do the things that I want to do to make me happy. Right, Yeah, you got to be a little have a little individuality, uh I I mean going forward, I maybe you know, wouldn't phrase it the way you phrased it in terms of you don't have to ask her permission to do things. She hated me saying that.

My point, what my rebuttal with that was, I was saying like, if she was telling me she was going to go do something, I would never make her reconsider doing it. So that was just being like, like, I want you to be able to do whatever you want guilt free, and I want that luxury to be extended up to me too, Like I don't want to have to feel guilty for doing something that I want to do that it's gonna make me happy, you know. Yeah, No, I mean you should. You guys will totally be fine

in marriage. Uh. How do you think you've grown in the last two years individually? I don't. I think I've been more ingrained in my relationship. I'm more Mr Ashley I now than I ever was prior. Uh So, how have I grown in the relationship? Again? I just tell her she's more and more right every day. Oh that's love, man, that's just beautiful love. That's just being tired and just accepting the fact that I'm second fiddle and that's fine. Soon to be third fiddle. And I was gonna say

soon to be third fiddle exactly right. Um, alright, Hannah, what about this? There's five questions here? What's the second one? Hannah? Yeah, come on, Hannah, help us out the best. Okay. The second question says, I relate a lot to Jared when he said he was really wanting to be with this family in Rhode Island and having a hard time separating him and Ashley moving forward together, versus him his family

and Ashley moving forward together. With that being said, Jared, how is your mindset with that now since you are back? I remember having a hard time separating him and Ashley moving forward together. I don't think I ever had issues separating Ashley, and I've like separating Ashley for um my family. I think my goal moving home was to only integrate Ashley more into my family, which I think I've um

succeeded in that goal. She's now very close with my sister and my mom and my cousins, and you know, she comes watched me. She comes to watch me play co ed softball on Sundays, which is always fun. Uh, And it's just yeah, I mean, moving to Rhode Island, I wanted Ashley to be more ingrained in the family, and she has been so it's honestly been really good.

So that's my mindset, just to you know, i'd say, I guess the only difficult part is having her parents be in a different state because she she gets jealous sometimes rightfully, so that like I get to see my family so much and she doesn't get to see her parents as much. But you know, I mean I told her from day one that I was wanting to move back to Rhode Island and for that purpose to see

my family more often. So it's not surprised or anything like that, but I guess that's something she's had to deal with a little bit more, and you know that sucks. Like if I was, if we lived in Virginia and we were with her parents seven and her sister, I'd be like, well, like, I want to I want to go to dinner with my family that you know tomorrow, but you just can't. Cool. Well, that's that's a very nice answer there, Jared. You like I said, you've been

on fire today. Man, Sorry, I was. I did kind of. I did kind of drift off a little bit there. I'm paying one of my car payments, so, um, do that? Is it late? Are you? Is it due today? Seven days later? But they give me a seven They give me grace spirit, so it's not fifty days, fifteen days. That's one hell of a grace period. What kind of car do you have? It's my motorcycle, it's my hearty. But h on that note, I think it's time for a second dinged immediately. If I don't pay within like

five minutes, I'm charging thirty bucks. I want to set up auto pay, but they won't let me set up auto pay. It's the dumbest thing in the world. But it's coming to a close. Thank you. Guys so much for joining us for our last episode of two thousand and twenty one. We got some big changes on the way for Help I Suck a Dating coming early. We haven't fully ironed out exactly what they're gonna be yet,

but we have been discussing, um some things. I don't know if I if I want to say anything specific yet, but there might be a new face to look at if you're watching this through the video. There might be a new voice to hear if you're listening to the audio. So just kind of keep your ear close to the ground and uh, you know, see what happens next, because honestly I don't I don't know yet, but we're working on something anyways. That's gonna do it for this week's episode.

That's gonna do it for this year's episode of Help I Secred Dating. Big thank you to Gabby, Big thank you to Devon for emailing us. Keep the emails rolling, help Wait now what is the email? I just I suck at dating at I heeart media dot com. And I say it one more time, I suck at dating at I heeart media dot com. My computer is about to die. This is incredible timing time I hope you guys all have an incredible merry Christmas, a happy Hanukah,

happy Kwanza, just the holidays across the board. If you don't celebrate, just have a great end of your year. Um, hopefully you have a happy New Year. Be safe, don't drink and drive. What else, Jared? Anything else? Before we say goodbye? Happy holidays? You fill the animals, Jared, another great year with you. I love you so much. I can't made it another year. Yes, look at us? Who

would have thought? Right? Freaking calls potting mix because the miracle girl we're about to experience is going to be even more so than we had last year. Um, Hannah, you're incredible. East and I feel like I'm on I'm giving my Oscar speech right now. I couldn't do it without Hana. I couldn't do it without East and Mark everyone back in the studio for mixing this together. We're gonna start paying. Yeah all right, guys, I gotta go so I'll see you all later. Um, have a have

a have a great rest of your year. See you follow hell by suck at dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast it too. You