Help We Suck At Being Newlywed?
With Dean Aungler, Haylen miller Key and Jared Haven An iHeartRadio podcast.
What is going on? Everybody?
Welcome to it all new special episode of Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds. We're recording live from the w aspin Hotel Room three seventy two, and we're doing this a little differently this week. We don't have any producers with us. I missed the recording last yesterday because I was busy hiking him out with my brother who I'll get to that in a second, And so we're just recording this right before we drive up to our wedding venue.
Anything you want to add, Yeah, we missed the other first episode because Dean's Tucks is Lost was lost. Now it's been found. Been a stressful week.
It's been fine for us, but it's been stressful for the producers over at iHeart Radio, who we love so much.
Sorry for having to continuously.
Reschedule, but we have a great episode. We have two incredibly special guests joining us. Two guests that I thought we would never get on this podcast, but everyone's been asking about. Everyone has been dying to get you two guys on, can I use your real names?
Sure?
Yeah? Great. We've got Ross.
Bell and Avery Bell joining us all the way from Driggs, Idaho, and a little Murray Bell. So if you hear some wrestling around in the background, that's just the three month old baby making his presence known. But if you guys want to say hello.
Hello, hello, hello.
Yeah, So talk about my brothers a lot on this podcast. It's great to finally have one on. And my sister in law, is it you're my sister in law? That's correct, that's interesting. This morning I was texting brad our other brother, and I was like, yeah, don't worry about picking up my tucks.
Our grandparents got it.
And I was like, that was the first time I said our grandparents instead of Kaylen's grandparents. And now I have to start calling you my sister instead of whatever else I call you.
I just I just called you Avery before.
But it's just weird saying don't you think it's kind of weird going from calling the person they're named then like, you're gonna call me your brother.
I guess you were married. It's all different. Yeah, it's all I go. I'm married to your family. You think that.
But yeah, I wanted to have you guys on the podcast obviously because we never get to have you on the podcast and it's just a great opportunity for that. But you guys have a three month old baby, uh, and I don't know what do you want to talk with him about?
Well, this was your idea, what do you want to talk about? I do want to say though, that we are sharing mic and you're gonna hear a lot of Dean's voice because he is a mike hog.
Yeah. Well, because you like you like to listen and I like to talk. So there it's uh.
I when we were so my brother and I hiked Maroon Bells yesterday. That was my last fourteen er and I've finished with them now. And the whole time we were hiking, whenever there's a lapse in the conversation, I was thinking about all these great ideas about what we could talk about on the podcast today, but mostly because when we're hiking, I feel like we could just talk about anything, and I was like, Oh, all the stuff that we're talking about here would be great to talk
about on the podcast. But now that we're just sitting in a hotel room, it's like a little more challenging to think about what I wanted to talk about.
Well, because iHeart does a great job at giving us rundowns questions to ask and we're just doing it ourselves right now.
Oh, I got a good question for you guys. We're getting married in two days. What's some good marriage advice you have for us?
This is actually like I talked to cald about yesterday. I think is cool. Is this idea of micro agreements And so you're like thinking of all the small parts of your day and when someone says something your partner specifically, how do you like use that moment to be kind of their ally. So, for example, this morning, we were walking here and I was like, hey, Ross, can I
tell you all the names of all these flowers? And he could have been like, no, we're in a hurry, but instead he's like, yes, please do, even though he's probably not interested.
A lot of names of new flowers.
I never knew. I do remember reading about a study a while ago that said, like they could predict the likelihood of a divorce by micro agreements throughout the day. So it's like, if you just disagree over like stupid little things all the.
Time, it's like your chance of divorce is like way higher.
What if you're marrying at Countririon.
It's like, well, Ross second ninety percent of my personality from Ross. But if you can do it, I'll be able to figure out way to do it as well.
I will say yesterday at the car, so we when we first got married, we definitely quickly had to make rules of the debate. So like when we were having a conversation in the car, the rule became like you cannot just say no, that is not allowed. You can't speak over each other. We have to define the terms. And we on the drive here to your guys' wedding, had our first like flawless debate. There's no interrupting, no
hard nos, and we're really proud of ourselves. So it took a year, but we can now officially have a good debate.
We did it.
I gotta say to you deserve a lot of credit for that, because I was debating with Ross in the hot dub last night quite a bit, drinking our beers. It's like midnight and we're like yelling at each other about the most meaningless stuff. I'd say it was, it's meaningful, but like only to that moment, you know, sure, and
Ross was listening. He was, you know, he was processing everything I had to say, and then he would respawn to it with like an affirmation and then go off on his tangent and be like, Wow, Avery's really teaching aroun us how to have a grown up conversation with someone.
I do want to talk about on the micro agreements, because I think that's super important. Have you thought about that before?
I think I'm pretty good at the micro agreements. I feel like I always give you the space to talk about whatever you.
Want to talk about.
Granted, and you're not going to be talking about the flowers, but like if you're like, you want to talk about pop culture or something, and I couldn't care less about that, I'd be like, go for it, let's go.
But we were talking about this yesterday, Like just an example. Avery gave was like, oh, these flowers are pretty, and you being like, yeah, the flowers are pretty, versus disagreeing and be like, well but actually.
No, I'm just saying.
I think she brought it up to me and I think it's really smarted.
Yeah, I like, I really whatever you want to get excited to talk about something, I listen to you, like, for instance, the last thing I can think of besides what I was talking about yesterday, the pop culture stuff you were talking about, the Ashton and Mela stuff and I don't care, but you. I was just like letting you go and I was listening and letting you talk about it.
Yeah, but we're talking about agreements versus like just what Anyways, I just think it's good for us to be aware of that because she made a good point. She's like, if your partner doesn't agree with you and like doesn't have these micro agreements throughout the day, it does kind of sting a little. So it's a good thing to be aware of.
Yeah.
I think we talked about your guys' wedding on the podcast after it happened, and it was the coolest wedding we've ever been to. So do you guys want to talk about it or do you want to talk about your you wanting to do this and set this up for Avery?
Yeah, And I guess, just to like recap really quick, is we went I kind of tricked Avery into marrying me.
I guess.
She thought she thought we were going on a climbing trip and in reality, we had all of her family come down to Tahoe, all of my family, and then I proposed to her the first day we were there, and then we got married the next day after that. So it was like completely a surprise to her and
it was great. And the reason that it was really good for us is because we're both pretty introverted, and so it was like kind of skipped all of that passle and stress of everything that goes into you know, putting on a wedding and you know, trying to invite people and where people are going to sit, and you know, just those million little things. It's like we just kind of skipped that and it was all just our close family and we had a really great time and it was really awesome.
We were remembering on their drive down. One of the main ways that Ross tricked me into marrying him is that we got there the first night. I had no suspicions that anything different was happening than a normal climbing trip, and he confirmed that by us not having anywhere to camp. So we was like we drove all the way there,
it was like ted pm. We're driving on to all these different campsites, all of them are full, like there's no blm land near top where we were, so we ended up like going to a camp guard and camping right outside the entrance to the camguard on the road, and then in the morning we woke up super early and just ducked out. And so if I had any suspicions that it was a special weekend, they were smashed right then.
Yeah, I was really lucky because when I asked Avery's parents for permission, of course, and Avery's mom was really excited to like help out and plant. So she's a planner. I'm obviously not. So she planned everything, and my one responsibility was camping the first night, so I kind of blew it. So I was really lucky that she kind of made it, made it as amazing as it was.
Did you blow it because you guys did sleep somewhere, Yeah, you slept.
I didn't really blow it.
I would say it was just maybe a little bit more less organized than Yeah.
The thing if we had had like a booked campsite, I would have been like, this is weird. Ross has never booked a campsite before. This is a lot of planning. Something is weird.
What made your guys a super unique and you had touched on a little bit as you proposed on the beach in Tahost beautiful moment, but then you were like, all right, let's go to a bar and celebrate. You walk into the bar, family's there, surprised to avery, and then the next surprise was You're like, yeah, we're actually gonna get married tomorrow.
Did you mention that already? Yes?
Oh you did, Okay you did, so sorry, there's a baby crown over there. I was getting a little distracted. Super unique and super cool too, and I mean it just takes a special person to be like this is you know, like if I did that with Kaylin, I'm sure she would have loved it, but.
Part of it would have been different.
And it's just so interesting to think, like, you know, every relationship is that different, and it's great to you for you to know your partner that well to be like, this is something that she's going to really appreciate.
Right.
Yeah, her mom is super skeptical at first, but then like I think she like kind of asked you, like to get like your feeling on it, and like you basically said the same thing, It would have been perfect if it just happened.
So I think you're all forgetting that. We were actually in Vegas for Christmas one. You're all together and we were going to a Broncos game and we got a little drunk at the casino before and are we allowed to talk about drinking? We were a little bit drunk, and we were in Vegas the lay end of the elopement, and I was like, rots, let's go right now, let's get married. I think that probably yeah.
That was the seed for sure, and what probably would have happened, but I forgot my license.
I think you would have done it, not all your license, you didn't have your wallet. Yeah, can't get married without a wall.
Right, And and then and then we talked about it, like on the car ride home, and I think she said like, oh, I would just be sad that my mom wasn't there. So then I was like, okay, like we it would work. We just got to have like family there.
Yeah, that's true.
That is how that came together.
Well, for the record, we wanted to do a Vegas elopement before coming to Aspen, and it takes a lot more planning than we thought. We always thought you could just show up and be like, hey, we're drunk, we want to get married. Granted obviously we would have been sober, but like that's how you hear about it in Vegas, Like two drunk people walk into a chapel end up getting married.
But it's like a little bit more of a process than that.
Yeah, I was gonna explain. It's you have to get the marriage license, which but you have to go to the Clark County Recorder and then you go to wherever you want to get married. But it's expensive and you have to schedule. You can't just show up. So like the only one available was eight pms. I'm like, how many people are booking out their Vegas weddings this far in advance? And it would have been five hundred dollars and we just got our marriage license today it was
thirty dollars. So it's like, you know, made sense.
Yeah, part of the novelty I guess of getting married and Vegas, and I would have I would have definitely wanted like an Elvis impersonator to marry. Yes, that's a next that's en up charge two hundred dollars to have in Elvis from personator to MARYA.
Yeah, and you guys just celebrated your year anniversary probably.
Right, Yeah, yeah, pretty recently, pretty recently, like July.
July.
Okay, so a couple months ago, which is great. First year is going good.
Yeah, I mean I keep thinking about our first year and I'm pretty proud of what we've gone through. I think it's only going to get easier because we had a baby, so as pregnant for nine months out of the twelve.
While we're remodeling our house. At the same time, we were living in a job site, basically having a baby. And yeah, I mean basically all of the stress factors that you could have are pretty much there.
It worked out.
Yes, here, we are here, We're still here, and I think better than ever.
Yeah, that's good. We need to start defining our debate rules.
Because you know, yeah, I will say too.
That was the one thing I was like, the reason I know this one better is because I'm actually having fun. And usually Ross would be like blah blah blah blah blah, and I'd be like, Ross, I'm not having fun. This is not a fun conversation for me. He's like, I'm having the best time of my life.
I love debating.
I'm very passionate about a few subjects, and so when you get on it.
I just kind of that was a contentious point last night. I was like, you are not too passionate, but the way some of the verbidge you're choosing maybe because he's a little bit working.
One of the things we're still working on is he'll say ninety nine point nine percent sure about everything. It's like, I'm a ninety nine point nine percent sure.
Of that sure than what he was saying last night. Last night, he was saying irrefutable, positive.
And a little bit a few more drinks.
Last So, Ross, you're not giving a speech at the wedding, but you could give a private speech right now if you want to.
A private speech podcast.
Wedding smoothies.
Yeah, Ross doesn't want to give a speech or other brothers giving a speech, so it's kind of you know.
Yeah, you didn't give a speech at my wedding.
So I actually was just telling Kaitlin about how sad I was. I didn't give a speech.
Yeah, I was messed up.
So it was just tough because Avery's brother was still in the show.
Yeah I couldn't follow him up. Rad obviously wants to give a speech.
He did great, and I was like, people are so of listening to people give speeches, and I got also self conscious about it, right, But yeah, I do regret that. I was just telling killing the other day about how I regret that not giving a speech. So I mean, you're right, you don't need to give a speech because I blew it and didn't give a speech.
A very great Yeah, if.
You were to give a speech at our wedding.
Wait, actually, what would you have different question?
Yeah?
What a recent We don't need a ross to give a speech right now, we need you to give the speech you're going to give it, Ross's what.
I won't give the speech, but I'll give the gist of it. I suppose I was thinking about what I was going to say, and I I just I hate speeches so much, especially in this like a little intimate of a setting. I was going to say, basically that you've been my best friend for my entire life, my first best friend and my best best friend.
Does that make sense for my entire life?
And you're the stronger, cooler, smarter, kinder version of me, and I have always looked up to you and I'll always look up to you.
And now that your dad, I think that's really awesome.
This obviously was not what I would have sad at the wedding because you don't have a kid then. But it was basically just that elongated me. It's just saying how cool I think you are, and how how I always aspire to be more like you and everything I do.
That's funny because that was the speech I was going to give to you.
No, it's so stupid. I don't understand.
Every time you say that like nice things about me, I'm like, I don't get it because your way cooler than I am.
No way, And I've always described you as somebody who has some of my strengths and none of my weaknesses.
I just disagree with that. I wish I had your strengths, I mean some of them. Yeah, you got your week, you got your weaknesses, don't question about that. But my weaknesses, I think are a little bit more. Uh uh, they're bigger weaknesses. Yeah, but who knows.
Yeah, maybe next time you guys hot up together, you can give each other.
I like our hot top conversations more than these sappy ones.
I don't know.
It's interesting though, because it's like you don't it's so silly to say, but like you should take the opportunity to tell people how much you care about them more often. But as brothers and as unglerts as we are, we're not really good at sharing our emotions. And every time you miss an opportunity to share it in a setting where you're like not expected to but you are like allowed to, I guess more so, And like the wedding, you guys' wedding, I felt like I missed an opportunity
to say those things. I was like, gosh, darn, and I wish I could go back in time and say it. But it all works out for the best. Yeah, yeah, you said it here, so yeah it happened. Yeah, all right, So you guys married for a year, and we'll wrap this up really quick. One maybe piece of advice you could have for us when it comes to a baby bearing.
Ross.
For the record, for the listeners out there, Ross is really adamant about us having a child that basically as soon as possible.
Oh yeah, Oh.
Every time I talk to every time I talk to Ross, he's like, so you guys having a baby yet?
Yeah, Mary, Mary needs a best friend.
Yeah, I mean, it's it's all the cliches, they're all pretty much true. It does change your life a fair amount. But the things that are hard are totally outweighed.
Bite. That was the baby, by the way.
I don't know if you've heard that far, but no, no, this baby has the most amazing fart to body weight ratio. It's so insane. If he continues to like hold that ratio as he grows into an adult, it would be absolutely terrifying. He fars louder than I do. He fars louder than I do. It's so crazy.
So that maybe is a piece of advice is once you have a baby, blame farts on the baby always and no one will question it.
Yeah. That's awesome, that's so funny.
Yeah, but I was just, yeah, I was going to say, like the good parts outweigh. You guys got some baby smiles this morning. Those baby smiles make all you're worth it, all the hard stuff.
But sweet well, thank you guys so much for sitting down with us for ten minutes. We appreciate it. It's, you know, not the easiest thing to do sometimes, but thank you very much. I love both of you, and Murray, of course I love you as well, even though you don't know what that means yet.
Thank you to the listeners.
For tuning in on this weird episode of Help we Suck At Being Newlyweds?
Be sure to tune in next week.
We'll give you some wedding updates where we'll be married a little less. Typically, what we say is, be sure to tune in next week where maybe we suck just a little bit less. Okay, where we suck at being newlyweds, just we'll actually be newlyweds, So that'll be we'll actually start sucking at being newlyweds instead of just sucking at being fiances, which will be a nice change of pace for us here. Anyways, that's gonna do it. Tune in
next week. We love you, goodbye, Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at help We Suck at.
Being Newlyweds and email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.
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We'll see you next time.