The Golden Rules with Gary Levingston

All right, everybody, Hey, it's I do Part two the podcast. Or if you didn't get love right the first time, that's okay, so we're here to help you get it.

Right the next time around.

I am one of your celebrity mentors, Bob Guiney and you know from the Bachelor of course, and my podcast I co host with Trista Sutter nay Wren almost famous ogs, the favorite one on your dial find out everywhere you can find a podcast. And today I am enjoyed by return cast that I know, I love and I know you know and you love from the Golden Bacherette and the season now of Bachelor in Paradise, which we're going to talk about today, my man Gary Livingston.

Gary, Hey, what's going on? Bob?

One of my fastest friends from this whole franchise. You know that real great to see you, really, Oh, I love it.

I'm humbled, I'm honored, thank you.

You're very welcome with you now. You know, I think the first time we got to hand out was in at the golf tournament and Pubble Beach, and man, we just hit it off right away. You were so much fun, such an easy guy to talk to. I also loved how you sort of wrangled all the Goldens right the mansion men. You were you were kind of the voice of reason for a lot of those guys, I think, but also a nice sounding board, like you all get along so great. It really does remind me. And I

Mean, it's night. Was that a conscious decision or is this just happened with age?

It just I think I don't know, I don't know if it's age or whatever. I think it was just a combination of things where we all just felt safe with each other because we were isolated, right, But it took us back to a day and time when we were growing up when we didn't have technology.

Right, yeah, because you can't have fault to communicate.

Yeah, And as a result of that, I think we just all felt as though once we got that first rose, that was the crew. Yeah.

The mansion men men.

Yeah, it was like the exclusive club.

You all moved into the mansion together, all moved in together, and that's was like, hey, we're well you boys, right, We're all you got.

That's it it was. It was. It was a big time romancing connection totally.

Well you could always tell I think That's why the show was such a treat. I've said it often, but I was expecting the Bachelor franchise to kind of not handle that the way that they did, right.

So my concern and I had concerns about the season of Paradise.

We're going to talk about that too, but my concern about the way that they were going to cast that show was, you know, oh, we want the drama, so we're going to have you know. I actually it started with Gary season right with so they're like the cast age appropriate women, just like on Jones season they cast

You know, what's an interesting points you make, because I don't think the executive producers anticipated what the outcome was, and as it was happening, they were, I think surprised at the twist and turn of where we took the show and then where they let it go as a result of what we brought.

To the camaraderie was nice, yes, yes, yes, And it wasn't like there needed to be controversy, that we didn't need any angst or.

Any any of that. Now, it was us being close, which made it even more special.

So yeah, I say it was a flashback for me. I mean it was like watching trist a season. Trist and I were talking about this earlier today. Because of course, real quick, we are coming to you from the summerhouse here and like Tahoe, the VRBO summer House, So procrastinators rejoice. The early bird is not the only one who gets the worm. VRBO offers last minute deals for private vacation rentals, of course, and one of the things that I love. We are in a sweet place, the river house, it is.

Whatever it is, the next dude, you know, just from age alone.

But but it's so nice to be here with them because we started this whole journey together twenty two years ago, and we were really great friends on Trista's season and so and I tried to encourage that in my season of The Bachelor, which came shortly thereafter, and I think I got us there, you know, but it was it was harder to do at that time because you didn't have the history of the show to look back on. And I think now watching how the Goldens handle it, like I said, I absolutely love that.

So great job.

I think has reflected well on all of you, and it's why I think in large part, you guys have kind of continued on in that Bachelor zeitgeist. Right, you guys have kind of really kind of moved in and it's like, you know, the iHeart family loves the Goldens so much. I mean, we aren't doing events without a bunch of Goldens because we love it. I think we love the levity that it brings to these situations. We love the fun.

You know.

It's it's also fun to, you know, get a bunch of young people who don't know what the hell they're talking about to talk to and then you can kind of, you.

Know, just make fun of them and enjoy yourself in that regard.

But I think it's more fun to have some people that you can connect with on a different level.

And I really enjoy that with you guys.

Yeah, yeah, thanks man, Yeah, it's pretty special. In fact, it's been a year. Yeah. And so our guys had an annual trip that we all put together on our own and all the boys went to Vegas and it was something this was Gonzo in Vegas, Gonzo in Vegas. I wasn't there. I was there because I was on a whole nother trip.

I would see Keith and Vegas would be I was on.

A whole nother trip. But the story, you know, what happens in Vegas stays there.

Of course, of course, so I would think Keith would need someone to rain him in like I'd almost hire like a rodeo clown to follow him around just to like keep things from going wrong, because he's a machine, that good man.

He is a seen but you know he just likes to have a great time. And that's the beauty of that that man in his personality. Man, you just you love having him around. Yeah, can.

My wife loves him so much, and she's always like, what's it like looking at yourself in twenty years. I'm like, well, if Keith were seventy four, that would be great. I think Keith sixty, that's me in six years, and I love it. So all right, let's talk about this. So we're in Tahell right now for a pick a ball event. I am not a big pickleball player until today. You roll out with a fantastic outfit. You got your own pickleball paddle. You come up there.

I mean you had gloves, you had gobbles, you had like a neck roll. I'm like, what's that.

You're like, Oh, I know when I hit that ball, man, I'm torquing that thing.

When I serve. I don't want my my neck to.

Go side with you and Kelly ben Simone, who I love, get out, just start crushing it. I think you're a bronze medalist, and then you took third today.

We came home with some iron. You came.

Well, let's show this. This is the iron we came home with you. It's basically a glorified participation trophy. And I believe it's plastic, but you It drinks the same.

And espresso here, but it's not going to weigh down your bag like the iron.

But so I think the plastics better for us to get through customs and and such.

But we're here. We're here here for the pickle ball event.

This has been so great and I think have you ever thought of pickleball as a way to meet people, Like, hey, let's get a little thing going and little, you know, pinching giggle out there on the pickleball.

Of course, it's funny you should mention that meeting people in Palm Desert. We play round robin Monday, Wednesday Friday four hours.

Where everyone throws in a paddle and it's like, okay, this is this is your paddle bill here.

Not quite like that, but not quite like that, but not quite like that, not quite like that. But it's it's kind of cool because it is the older folks that are out there playing. We had some young folks that come in and we show them a lesson or two about what the game is all about. I don't play Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I go usually on a Wednesday. But it's kind of cool to go out and have that camaraderie with everyone. He yeah, and a connection that says we can still go and do.

This right, we can still do something athletic and we're having fun.

I have to say this, so I have fun. Have you seen the new show Stick with Owen Wilson.

I have not.

Oh my guys, anyone's seen it easton Monday. It's so good. So it's on HBO or no, it's on Apple TV. Okay, you need to watch it because it's actually it's a really good show and it's like.

He's but it's not standard Owen Wilson fair right. But in it they have this pickleball thing that goes down. And I was watching it trying to prep myself for this weekend because there's not many things out there that you can find that will allow you to prep for pickleball competitions, you know, Canyon, and I decided, I'm like, let's get a couple of fights for no reason.

That's like I'm gonna yell at you. You yell at me, I'm like, you shout at it.

She's like I'm a left day. I'm like, okay, let's just let's just fake some fights so we're ready for the court. Because but she's really good and she's very aggressive as a lefty.

You know what, The ball takes a whole another, a different flight, different flights as we were trying to play that that's why you Yes, that's how we shut you down.

That's how the only way to shut you down. Having Gary out there, he really did. Gary was scary on the court. But yeah, no, it was very fun. But I think pickleball could be a really cool way. Like if you meet someone and you know that they're you know, uh fit, Yes, right, but they don't have to be that fit. I mean, I'm out of shape. I was out there running around like a crazy person.

The beauty is that the court's smaller than a tennis court. Yeah, you're playing with four people on the court. It's a whiffle ball. It's not really like anything that's come out it with too much heat. Yeah.

No, And so though Trista did Jack went into canyon today, which I thought was really.

You can't get some heat on the ball.

Yeah, that was pretty nice. Definitely, Trista knew what she was doing when she wanted the stageous event. Little did we know she did played the game a lot.

She was unbelievable.

You think she hustled us.

I think she may have been like a shark guy.

She knew there was an iron a some trophy on the place.

There was a big trophy on the line. Yeah, and she took it home.

Well, I will say that spoiler alert. Gary and Kelly came in third. Yes, the Guinea family came in second. Yes, and Trista and Ryan Sutter nay Wren ended up bringing home the bacon.

And uh, I don't know. I'm just gonna say it out loud.

Uh If I put together a blackjack tournament for the next one and I win the black jack tournament, shame on me. Okay, I'm just saying I think Trista stacked the deck in her favor. She knew She's the only one that knew the roles.

We're in the middle of playing.

It's three three, and she's like, guys, are stef Yi, and I love Tristan more than the life, so I mean this is coming from a place of love.

That's the kitchen.

Okay, you don't go in the kitchen. You can't step in the kitchen, but don't hit hit the ball into the kitchen. You've done it twice and I've let it go. So I'm just going to tell you for the next time, I might have to score that against you. All of a sudden, she's in my head.

Man.

Now I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm like, why the hell is the kitchen now? I got to identify a kitchen. I don't see a stove. I don't see a refrigerator. Okay, so let's talk about Bachelor in Paradise, because here was my concern about this, Okay. I was terrified that my goldens were going to be used by producers for horrible, horrible mischief. And I was like, this is not right. I don't think I like this idea. Actually, at first I love the idea until someone brought it

Let's not do that.

Needless to say, I didn't have to worry about that, right because my guys handled themselves. But I think it's been pretty interesting on this season of Paradise.

It's the very first season.

Well, there's a lot of first's actually, whole new production, whole new look. It kind of looks a lot of people have been saying a lot more like love ya.

Producers, whole things, different tones, different attitudes, different.

Cinematography, the cameras they're using.

Yes, kind of neat, fabulous.

Wells and Hannah are playing a bigger role in the show, which Hannah I haven't seen her say too much yet. The handa is I'm sure going to have a bigger role as this thing goes on. Yes, But I think it's kind of neat because when they came to you and said, you know, hey, would you be interested in coming to Paris? Did they mention that it was going to be like the standard paradise with the Goldens or when they approached you, what did they disclose to you?

So it was disclosed that we'd like you to join us in Costa Rica going paradise, because well, I don't even think we knew it was going to be in Coastrie at that point.

And did you know other Goldens were coming or did you think.

I No one had been announced. Yeah, and they didn't allow Leslie or I to know even if they had someone in mind. But then the guy started talking and we ultimately said, hey, what do you think I'm thinking about this? I'm thinking about what and so we started talking. Yeah, and then ultimately well you can see now on the show who's come. Yeah, but it was it was a surprise, I think to all of us said it was going to be like it is.

Yeah, Well, well let's let's for anyone who might be like me. I've I've sort of stacked the deck. I've watched the first episode, the first two episodes, now I have not I have not watched a second too. So the Goldens arrive in episode four and Gary arrives on his own with a little bit more like it was almost like a big time wrestling entrance, like smoke, like all sorts of stuff going on, Like you had the theme song? What was your walk up song? And you come out

And how did that the whole thing play out?

Well? Okay, So I came a day after everyone else and I was still in seclusion. Yeah, so I was going crazy. It's like, guys, you got to get me out of here. Yeah. Everyone knows I'm going to be on the show, right, but you can't keep me secluded like this? So is it okay? If I go to the pool?

Is fomo? Are you getting? Like? But like, what do you feel? Are you feeling left out?

I feel like I'm starting to feel like things are happening and I'm not there to enjoy it.

Yeah, And so were nervous at all.

I was starting to get a little anxious, not nervous, just with like not knowing what to expect, right, because my guys were already.

There, right, and you knew they were already there.

So they were there and they knew I was. We just didn't know how it was gonna unfold. But then when they said, we were making this big thing for your entrance, Gary, and so then I started saying, okay, now let's hear it, let me hear it. And then they started explaining to me what it was going to be, and I go, I can do that, Yeah, I can. I think that's gonna be pretty awesome.

That's awesome.

And sure enough, you saw the entrance.

I have only seen the engines. I haven't seen the episode.

Okay, you've got you've got something I can't tell you, but it's worth its weight in gold. That's you'll see, Bob, you'll.

It's so fun because you guys are so tight, right, and it's like, did you did you experience? Obviously you come in, you got your friends that the Goldens who you've been doing a.

Bunch of stuff with.

Yeah, probably have met so I know you have met some of the younger cast members on there, yes, and uh so you got the familiarity with them, But who did you create relationships with right away that were kind of like, uh, you know, from from the the more standard VIP experience, Like who did you kind of gravitate towards? Was there anyone there that you felt like, Okay, I

But you haven't met him, have you.

I met Jonathan at a get Reel, the get Real party that Hulu did when they announced mel with the Golden Bachelor, and I think I had met him once before. I can't really remember, but you know, he's a super guy. Yeah, and uh so him and I were already connected. Also Hakeem yep, but by the time I got there, Kem was gone, right, So it was really Jonathan and then my other Golden guys. That was it.

Well, Jonathan seemed to warm up to a couple of Goldens, didn't he.

Yes, he did. But I have to throw in Dale Andrew was another good guy, Spencer as well.

Spencer seemed intense to me up until like he seems like an intense dude.

He really was a very gentle, giant guy. Yeah.

So, what were your thoughts on the April Jonathan moment, Because I had.

Heard some rumors, but that was a little fiery.

It was not just fiery, it was a total shock that took everyone by surprise. I don't think anybody knew April was going to do that, and in particular my good buddy Jack. It's a beautiful thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, he was so floored because he thought that there was a connection there. Yeah. But yeah, that was a real shock or it came out of nowhere. She handled it well, she said some amazing things about Jonathan, but it completely threw off the numbers.

I was gonna say. Yeah, it basically eliminated three three golden goldens, which left six women and three men. Yeah, and so it was yeah, it was that was that was a shocker.

That was like, I don't think it didn't seem like the producers or anybody was ready for that.

Nobody. Jesse stood there with his mouth over, did you really? Just almost seems stage? But you know what I knew it wasn't.

Yeah, it was a shocker man.

All Right, Well, thank you so much for talking to us about that, because I love it.

I think very excited. I know, I know people are loving the show this year, people are loving VIP and I think I really liked oh what's oh my gosh, the VIP VIP hat she had on out there, Leslie. I loved your hat. Yeah, yes, yeah, that was pretty good. She's a pretty good pickupball player too, all right, and a great dancer? Is that right?

Keep watching?

Watch and the two of you had a chance to love the dance.

Okay, I will watch, I will watch. I take your advice seriously, my friend. All right, so I want to go to Well, there's not much that doesn't I don't know if you know, it takes a lot to piss me off. My luggage is pissing me off. Still not here, by the way, thanks Delta if you're watching it home. So let's talk twenty one questions. Okay, we're gonna play a little game. It's called twenty one questions. It's I Do Part two. That's what the show is about.

You and I have both had relationships prior to.

Any that we may have currently. Yes, do you want to talk about any that you have currently? Anything you want to share?

I mean, everybody knows I got Canyon, right, so I got nothing to share.

Maybe let's just let's see where that goes. Let's we're going.

Breaking news that I Do Part two. All Right, here we go. I'm gonna ask you some questions. I want your opinions. I may or may not time in because I want to keep this on point for I do part two because that is my job is to steer this ship to the exact location we needed today.

Take us home.

Here we go, baby number one. Okay, if you ask a woman on a date, first date, is it ever acceptable to split the bill?

No?

Agreed?

If a woman asks you on a first date, is it ever okay to allow her to pay?

Absolutely?

I think you're absolutely right on that.

I think I would still fight to act. Yeah, but she asked me, Yeah, I would. I let kingyon.

Uh. We were when we were dating.

She asked me on a date, which I was like, really okay, and she paid for the whole thing, and I was like feeling guilt the whole night, but it was it was kind of awesome. I was I'm always the person that pays. Yeah, you know, like she'llowed me to say, like someone, go.

Do you where's your wallet? She goes, She'll go, he's over there, and she'll play. You know.

It's an interesting point though, because we as men men, yes, and our era of where we always take care of things, so it's flattering when someone else does it. It's surprising, and it's also a sign of Wow, this could go someplace. Yeah, it's not always dependent on me. This person is making an effort to show me that I'm you don't always have to do this.

Yeah, so you know it's so interesting. For some reason, when you were saying that, it triggered something for me. One of the things I always think is interesting is I think I'm doing a favor when.

Someone says, what do you want to do tonight, and I'll say, whatever you want to do? Where would you like to go to for a dinner? Wherever you want to go. I don't know why.

I think I'm being easy, right, but how flattering it is when someone will say, hey, tonight, we're gonna go to Mexican because I know that's your favorite, and then afterwards we're gonna go play pickleball or go through some darts or whatever. And you're like, okay, because it's so neat to not have to think of what do and it's it's really fun to have someone planned for you. Yet and I and I've realized that maybe that's a

To plant let it go. Should I let it go let it go now? Yes, okay. Number two.

If a man does not finalize date plans or checking ahead of a scheduled date the morning of, does this mean he's busy or that he's not interested.

Oh that's a tough one.

So let's set the stage.

You got a date set up and tonight you're gonna pick her up at five, but you don't call all day, you don't reach out, You're just like, hey, I'm picking her up Thursday at five. Does that mean is she supposed to think you're coming at five? Or is she supposed to think this dude is ghosting me?

You know, if there is an interest in that relationship, if you're trying to make it happen, you're gonna call before. Yeah, you're gonna call before. If you don't, then.

Yeah, yeah, it's just and you're like, go, I'll do it be there right.

Well, then, I mean it's someone that's not important to you. Out of respect, here's what's happening looking forward to Yeah, totally, totally, with all due respect.

I totally agree with you. Yeah, yeah, all right.

How long should you be dating someone? To bring up the topic of money, debt or credit scores?

I would think maybe if it's a serious relationship, it should happen within the first couple three months.

Okay, yeah, and to what level does that go? Because I have a funny story to share about this.

And the level you know, you got to fill that one out because at my age, yeah, you don't have a lot of time to say, I'm gonna let this play out. You want to know sooner than later. So it just it just depends. Oh my gosh, that's a great question. That's a great question.

When I was working on these questions, I was laughing over that when I was really brainstorming about these questions, and I thought, what can I ask her? When I thought of this one, I really knew I had a winner. So here's thank you, Heather for these wonderful questions. The best producer in the business that question. So I will tell you. So when Canyon and I got married, Yeah, it was. It was one of her family's favorite things

I'm like, okay, what do you got? Well, here is Jessica's cell phone, Bill. Here is Jessica's triple A card. Here is Jessica, and she's giving me like twenty I'm like, what in the world now?

None of them were hefty tabs by any means, but it was comical. She's like, she's your problem now, and it was very funny like it was. It was a tongue in cheek because you know, one thing about Canyon I love is, you know, since we've had children, she's to stay at home mom, but she's always been such an earner, right, and she's she's out there busting her button. And I love that she had her own career and her own design on things, and and I really.

Love that about her. And I also love that she's been willing to kind of take a back seat to help raise our family. But I know how excited she has to get back out there, right, and it's and exciting for her.

So I get to tell you, yeah, that's a blessing, oh big time. You understand that, a big time. It's a rarity. Yeah that's a gym, not even a diamond of the rough.

That is, it's the next level stuff. But what's funny is I didn't even I didn't ask that I was like, well, you we can get it. Like we tried to get a nanny and a parrot.

We tried to do everything, and it was one of those things where it was like, this was something that was important to her and I and I really value that and respect that.

But yeah, I think I think you're right.

I think there if the things are starting to feel serious, you got to kind of figure that out early and then and then to follow up on that. And when I was really grinding on these questions, this is one that really stuck out with me. If someone does have a lot of debt, is that a red flag? Right, that's a red Flagg's a red flag.

Is what you're gonna do?

But you know what's interesting.

If you, well, circumstances might dictate that, right, someone who put themselves through school, somebody did a whole bunch of stuff that kind of debt. You're like, well, good for you, Yeah, credit card debt or or or things that they just aren't paying on. Then you're like, what's up with this person?

That's yeah, that's not right.

No, I agree, So.

It just depends.

And again you and I both being having been through a marriage previously, and now you know you're at a different stage in your life at this point. You're like, I don't know what I want to take on. Do I want to take on someone else's baggage from the standpoint of years and years of credit card abuse and things like that?

And I don't know if that's the right term, but you know it is.

I mean, and that's a that's a real thing. It's a real thing. And so you know, is it a red flag or is it a yellow flag? Caution? How much do I really like the character of this person? How much we really genuinely equally yoked, how much are we really genuinely in love with each other? And the whole thing that comes with she's showing me what I need.

Yeah, well, and that's a vulnerability too, right, if someone's willing to share with you. Hey man, I had some issues for a couple of years financially, but I'm handling it, I think.

I think.

Then you're like, that wouldn't be a red flag to me, that would be something I think that would be almost like a show of character. Yes, Like everyone goes through tough times, and how you rebound and how you how you handle those situations, I think shows who you are.

It's it's part of your testimony, it's part of your history, it's part of what got you to be where you're at. Yeah, totally. But if you can be honest and upright, up up front and forthright, that says something. Also, Yeah, I'm great. I don't want to hide this from you. I'm just going to I gotta let you know about this.

Yeah, this is something I think is interesting. All right, if you're dating someone for let's say six months, okay, excuse me, and their children don't get along with you, and the children are older, right, you're.

Not my dad. That kind of stuff, right, I mean you see in movies all the time.

Run Yeah.

Okay. So the rest of this question.

Is how is there a sign of relationship won't work out long term? I think absolutely that's not gonna work. Yeah, because no one is going to choose. No one's gonna choose. I mean, family is always a big part.

Of every relationship. Yeah, no one's gonna well, well, no one who you want to be with is gonna let their son go and be like, no, I want to be with you, because I'd be like, what the hell does that say about you?

Yeah? Yeah, exactly.

I had I had a situation at one point where a woman that I knew was upset about a guy that she was dating because he always put his kids from his previous marriage first. And I remember saying, I was like, do me a favor. Don't ever say that to anyone ever again.

Yeah.

She's like going, man like, that's what a man is supposed to do. So you found a guy in Hollywood of all places who's going to put his family first. Celebrate that man, because most do. It'll be like, oh you know I yeah, yeah, I'll handcele plans with my kids. Hell no, man, I would never do it. I'd just be like, no, I have already got plans. If that doesn't work for you, then we just don't work.

Yeah, exactly. You know I couldn't agree with you. More family, especially your children, that's our future. It's just a matter of time before they grow up and grow out and get away. So you know, invest in that in those boys and girls, because ultimately that's what's going to come back and take care of you later in life. Yeah.

I means so true.

Right.

Do you think people can have different religious beliefs and have a successful relationship.

I do. I do. It's you know, are they equally yoked yet? Do they both believe in a God? Yes, it's not the same, right, but I think it's possible. Sure, I think it's possible.

Well, I mean, I dated someone I'm I don't know what I am, to be honest. I think I was raised Methodist or Baptist, but I think I'm Protestant, right, Yes, And I dated someone who was Jewish, yes, for a very long time.

Yeah.

And I loved being a part of her cultures and her experiences and her religious traditions that I had no clue of.

Old Testament New Testament.

Yeah, okay, yeah, there you go, right, it's yeah, and the New Testament is much more open.

Yes, right, yes, but yeah, I enjoyed, I actually enjoyed having the different cultural experiences and the different religious experiences, and I learned a lot from that, you know.

And it was a fun relationship. Yeah, and yeah, so that was kind of neat. So I am someone who believes that can work.

You just have to pour into each other. Yeah, that's all.

So we're at number ten, are you ready?

Okay, what's a small thing people tend to overlook, but in reality, is a huge sign a relationship isn't good.

It's a huge but a huge sign to small.

Thing people tend to overlook, but in reality, is a huge sign a relationship isn't good.

What are you?

This is like that's you don't understand? How many years are scrolling? I went to these questions. I think it's important.

And here's a small thing that could be a big thing, public displays of affection. Someone that doesn't like public displays of affection. But your love language is touchy and you like holding hands and the person doesn't realize the impact that that has on your emotional state. That could lead to you not liking that person anymore, because it's almost as if they don't want anyone to know that you're together. Yeah, if you're dating, Yeah, that's not a good sign.

That's true.

And I guess so. I think public displays of affection are important. That you can't be afraid of to kiss someone in front of other people if you really care about the person. Holding hands is another big one. Hugging is another big one. So I think that's huge.

Sure, because you seem like an affectionate guy, I would guess you're an affectionate guy. I am, I am so, I'm an affectionate guy too, and I'm married to someone who's not as affectionate as me. Right, And it's kind of funny because her idea of like cuddling at night will show go, She'll put her leg on me, go

It's a good fun thing. Yeah.

Yeah, what I'm saying, I tell you, you know, it's a small thing, but it's a big it's a big yeah. Its so you got to know when to like from from her perspective. I always I will always say this.

I'll be like, hey, man, once in a while, you need to actually show me some show show me some love.

All right.

What's one thing you think men at fifty plus, which we both are, need to lighten up on when it comes to dating. So, what's when you're talking to your buddies, you're talking to the mansion men, you're talking to the crew that you know, your buddies from home, and they're like, this is this is a deal breaker for me right, and you're like, man, that just seems why is that a deal breaker? What do you hear from your friends and from your from your boys that that you think is a little ridiculous.

Just realizing that you're not gonna win every battle. Yeah, and some things you just have to let go of. I don't care how big or how small it is. Just let them have some victories. Yeah, it doesn't matter what it.

Is, because we get so stubborn at a certain like we I've been on my own for.

Tell me where to park.

And it's not speaking from experience either.

I have my favorite things. A kid, I'll go. You know, it's so weird. Before I met you, I was single for twelve years.

Do you know?

I knew how to park every car and no one was scared when someone hit the brakes six hundred yards ahead of me.

And I love this woman, but oh my god, Am I right?

I know the feeling totally yet it so yeah, No, I'm right there with you.

But you know, you think, get fifty plus, a lot of guys are like just trying to win every bat.

Yeah, They're trying to win every battle, and it's like, man, you gotta let that go. Just that's not important. Yeah, it really isn't not in the big scheme of things.

How about conversely for women fifty plus, Like you're out there in the dating world, you hear it, what are women in your opinion?

And I get it that's.

Gonna be a generalization, but yeah, what in your experiences, what have you seen that women are really?

This is it?

This is a deal breaker for me. And you're just like, why.

I think the some women these days who are very independent, they they want to take the lead, but they don't know how to acquiesce and give and give you even in dancing, it's like you know there there's a leader and a follower in dancing right.

Well, and you're a really good dancer, so you know that better than most. He should lead.

If I'm leading, it's gonna be like two left feet out.

And now all of a sudden we're both like, I'm gonna spend and.

Nothing against strong, independent women who are successful in their careers and doing all the things. But you've got to acquiesce and let the man do what he does, opening the door.

Just little things, So don't get offended by chivalrous or gentlemanly behavior. Amen, Yes, yes, yeah, I think that's I think that's a really good point too.

Yeah.

So when you're dating and you go on a first day, what are three things that you think you should know about that person after that first date?

Top three things?

The top three things I want to know. First of all is are you a godly woman? Do you believe in you're religion as a spiritual person? Yeah, that's that's I think something very important. And you can't be afraid to ask that question, right, because.

Well, it has become kind of a taboo topic. It seems right like people are afraid to ask that question, right exactly.

So that's one. I think. The second thing is things that they enjoy doing extracurricular activities. I want to know something for the next time I plan a date. Hey, let's go for a hike.

I know you like to You said you like hiking, and yeah, that kind of thing, right.

And then the third thing I think would be is God, there's so many things going through my mind. Now do you like to travel? Do you like to? So I can really look forward to planning another outing or another.

Date, or to see if you have enough in common then another date makes sense. Yeah, right, exactly. So if you're a big travel guy and they're like, nope, I like to be on the couch.

Yeah, and I'm not going anywhere, Like Okay, this is not the right.

Person for me.

Flag.

Yeah, that's a right. Flag, that's a that'll be another date. So intimacy, yeah.

Right, everybody always this is kind of the hot button topic, right it seems anyway, especially with like Tender and all the different dating apps out there. You know, if you're intimate with someone on the first night, do you think, generally speaking, do men still want to date that woman if they hooked up in the biblical sense on the first night.

No?

Really, Wow, I love that you're being honest right now.

Not for me? Yeah, okay, do you go through with the with the intimacy on the biblical.

Sense on the first night?

No?

No, okay, okay, now, because if you said yes, I was gonna be like hippocrite.

Okay, So let's say this.

So if someone's basically because it was like Gary, let's go upstairs, and you're like.

No, that's not that's not no, nope, yeah, that's not gonna happen. But you're you're also like, and she's not right for me, I'm not going.

Right, you know. I I want someone who respects me as a person. I'm not just some physical being that's just trying to me.

You're not walking around like it. No USD choice.

Also looking at you with all due respect the same way. I want to be able to look forward to this gift that's been given to me, but over a period of time, and we're both gonna have to earn the respect of each other as well as the opportunity to love each other. As my body is a temple, but so is yours. But that doesn't mean that I'm any less than just because I'm a god young man.

I was gonna I want to.

Those days are way back there. They're way back there.

I get it. I hear you, buddy. I love that. All right.

Yeah, there's more.

I got more.

I've still got like forty six questions left on our top twenty one questions. Now, I'm just kidding, all right. Long distance relationships. You've been in one before, right, I'm sure you have.

They don't work?

They right, Okay, they don't work.

Yeah, they don't work. I've tried, and it's just not possible. Yeah, not for me. Yeah, I want someone who's going to be around close by, who is pouring into me as I'm able to pour into them, right, and with technology and the FaceTime and all that, it's just to crutch it really is.

I can say this as someone who lived it. Yeah, it really opposite coasts is a very difficult thing to do. Now done that doesn't expensive, and yeah, very expensive, But there's different ways to be long distance. But if there's a time change involved, for me, it's not going to work because it becomes a struggle to stay involved in each other's life totally and to be and to be a resource for that person, which is why you're in a relationship.

Right.

If the plan of me being in a relationship is for me to share my life with someone, me getting the cliff notes at the end of the night, right before you're going to bed, that's not sharing.

Yeah, that's me just.

Getting you know, somebody just kind of filling me in another day. I could do that with no offense. I could do that with you and and I don't need to be sleeping with you.

Yeah, it's not going to work. No, it's just it's something about being present, yeah, or in the neighborhood or nearby close enough to where we can drive to each other.

Yeah, right, we can get over there.

We can spend time together, touch each other, hang out. Doesn't need to be sexual every time, it do whatever it is right now?

I love that. Okay.

If you're in a relationship with someone, do you consider any of the following cheating? Going to strip club yes, watching porn yes, having a subscription to OnlyFans no. Come on, wait a minute, Okay, I'm supposed to make this fast.

You just derailed the whole train. How is that one not?

Oh? For God's sake?

Yes, okay, all right.

When you're in a serious relationship or marriage, is it okay to be friends with an ex if you had no children together?

Yes? Why your friends?

Right?

Mhm. But it depends if your partner thinks that's not good, you gotta be ready to say yeah, we're yeah, agree. Agree.

What do you think of couples who divorce and then remarry each By the way.

That last question, it took me some time to grow into that, because once a relationship was over, it was over.

You were done.

See why the train is leaving the station. But I've seen how people have grown back together.

Just and I have a different capacity.

Yeah, And I've always said, how is that? How is that possible? Yeah? But my ex and I, my ex wife, and my grandson now have brought us all closer together as yeah, of course.

So yeah, So I'm I'm still friendly with my ax and and it's cool with Canyon, so that makes it cool.

If she wasn't cool with it, I wouldn't Ben't you know how to respect for our marriage and our relationship? Sorry, I love it.

I love it.

Do you believe in love it first sight?

Yes?

Boxers or briefs? Boxers, baloney or Cheeseez?

I have an idea to talk about, all right, what's something you learned about yourself going through the vorce.

That nobody comes out unscathed. Everybody gets cut.

I was talking to Deanna Pappas every and Diana Papus just went through something very public, right, and I said to I'm like, I'm like, Deanna, been saying this for years, but no one seems to listen to me. Divorce sucks, even if you want it.

Yeah.

Yeah, And the reason why it sucks is because it is still having to recognize the end of something that you wanted to work. Absolutely if you didn't want it. To work you wouldn't have done in the first place. And it's and it sucks because it's easier to get divorced than it is to get married. Everybody, you know, Yeah, there's no one, no stone left unturned, and nobody.

To see some scar for a long time. I agree.

Well, buddy, as always, you are so open and vulnerable and honest. I love it.

Thank you, Thanks for being on the show again, Thanks for being a part of this whole thing.

Thanks for letting me beat you and pick a ball today.

Left man, that's spin that English, that natural English she puts on the ball. But I appreciate you, man, I love I love that the Goldens came into this whole world and it brought a lot for me personally, like to get to see some people that I loved, how they were handling themselves and and and then to get to know you guys all over the years has been so great. But thank you for always being an open book. Thanks for being a part of this. Congratulations on your

Because I can't wait to see.

Amen.

I'm sure there are some fun things coming up and I'm very excited to see it all.

So thank you, Bob. Lots and lots of people need you, man. I need you too well, Thank you, buddy.

But don't ever forget, Bob, truly. I mean that's from the bottom of my heart, how much you matter. You matter man, well, thank you buddy. I so hold on to that and never forget you matter to so many people. Wow, thank you.

No, thank you man, that's very kind things for you to say.

You're getting me emotional, but I got five minutes before I would cry, so nothing's going to happen, right, Heather.

No, thank you, buddy.

That means a lot to me, and it means a lot to me coming from you, So thank you very much.

So thank you for being here.

Make sure you guys watch on Paradise on Monday nights on ABC of course streaming on Hulu.

And we want to hear from you guys, right, We.

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