Talk Daddy to Me: How to Be a Better Father

everybody who listens to the podcast Suckers. After our rebrand, of course, we'll be having a brand new episode this week. Dean and Kaylin will be back from their excursion. Ashley and I just got back from Disney, which was a lot of fun, a little stressful. I think, you know my sister and my brother in law. You know, you bring in a two year old to Disney's a lot.

I don't mind it because I just love Disney so much that I'm just willing to put up with the crying and the fussiness because I know deep down they're having fun. They might not show it, but I know, I know they're having fun. It was a great time. The hotel is beautiful. We stayed at the four Seasons. It was incredible. It was so nice in proximity to the parks. They had shuttles and they were only like fifteen minutes away, which is great. We did Magic Kingdom

Hollywood Studios in Epcot. We didn't do Animal Kingdom. We didn't have time, and we didn't do Universal, which was really sad. But Universe was more of, you know, an adult park. So Ashley and I were talking about that, how we want to go back one day when you know, we could do all the rides and Dawson's a little bit older. Bringing a kid to Disney, yeah, it's a lot.

If you're not a huge Disney fan, I suggest don't go until your kids are older and they able to do a lot of the rides, because Dawson couldn't do a lot and he's also just a very fussy kid

in general. So we were strolling him around and he's just that kid who's like trying to throw himself out of the stroller or you know, crying for no reason, which makes me feel like a bad parent because people are like, oh, he obviously doesn't want to do this ride, and it's like no, it's like we know, once he's flying or you know the ride is moving, he's going to love it. It's just him getting through that stage. So once again, yeah, if your kids aren't old enough,

I would probably say just wait. But I just love Disney. I want to go. I want to go back right now. Honestly, I even as stressful as it was, it was awesome. And the one thing that I wish I did do And this is a suggestion for everybody, and most people do this, so you're probably already aware. And something I knew we should have done but we didn't, which was take a break from the parks, have a day where we just chill out at the resort and take advantage

of all the amenities that they have. Hang by the pool, even though it wasn't that cool, like the pools heated. Excuse me, even though it wasn't that warm, it was cool. I was like in the fifties and sixties. Mostly you know, the pool is heated, they have a hot tub. You can really enjoy that aspect of it. So I wish we really had more time to do that. So if

you're planning at Disney Trip. My biggest suggestion is to make sure you take a little break from the parks because they can be exhausting as much fun as they are. But I wanted to talk about in this episode of Yeah, I would be in a sucker. I wonder, you know what's funny. I haven't listened to Dean and Galen's episode yet. Man, I'm a bad podcast host. I wonder if they listen to this. If they do, you poor souls. You should have better things to do than listen to me. Even

though I really do appreciate you guys listening. It means the world to me. I'm being self deprecating because, of course, the reason I do this is to hopefully have people listen and enjoy this, because if they didn't, then there's really no point of me being on a blank talking to myself in my wife's glamor room. I really do appreciate you guys listening to this podcast and listening to Suckers and supporting us in any way that you can. It means the world to us, so thank you so much.

But I wanted to talk about an article that I saw, because you know, I'm always looking to be a better dad. And so there's this website called Daily Dad, and the article said nine ways to be a better father right now. So I want to read this article and go over. There's nine ways that this article Daily Dad says that

you can be a better dad. Rate now. One, put away your phone when you're with your kids, being present when you're with them, and put away anything that has to do with work or play, like your cell phone is. It's very easy to get sucked into emails and social media, but our kids that need our attention. You'll be amazed at how incredible it is to simply be present with

your children and marvel at the fact that they exist. Now, I definitely have gotten better with this, specifically as Dawson has gotten a little bit older and has developed his personality and become more aware and been saying that da da dadda. I've been trying to be more in the moment. Like a good example was this morning, my alarm went off at seven forty five Sunday. Uh, you know, some forty five is not that early, but I wanted to say it a little bit earlier so I can go

to the gym, get my day going. And my alarm went off and Dawson was in the bed because he was a little fussy last night in the crib, so put him in the bed with us, and he was kind of snuggled up against me and like his little fingers on my on my chest. I was like, well, this is a moment right here, like I can't, I can't get up, and also should I get up? You know? Of course I want to go to the gym, get my day going. I love getting active in the morning.

It makes me feel better, it makes me feel like I'm being more productive. It really helps me set the day. But when I was lying with Dawson, I realized, like, how many more opportunities am I going to get to cuddle with my kid? Because there's going to come a time where he doesn't want to cuddle with me, and to be fair, there's going to come a time where I don't want to cuddle with him. So I thought maybe I should just stay in bed and lie with Dawson and kind of just look at him for a

little while. And that's what I did for about half hour or forty five minutes, and it was really nice because seeing your kid sleep in their most innocent state is just it's really beautiful. It is because I know that one day, as all my friends tell me that, I'm going to look back at these moments and just wish I could relive them. And I know that's going to be the case. You know, I love the age he is right now, even through all his fussiness, like

I love his age. He's so much fun in his laugh and his little feet and the fact that he can't say, you know, speak words yet is adorable. I love the gibberish. I speak gibberish with him. I don't care if people give me crap for that. And so you should talk to your kid looking at you know, like an adult, speak to him with words. He's never gonna learn. He's going to learn. Okay, let me talk gibberish for my kid. It's fun and it's not gonna

last forever. So I'm doing a trying to do a good job of making sure that I'm staying president, putting away phones and really just trying to be balanced. You know, I was not good at balanced when I first opened Audrey's. I was there all the time, My mind was there all the time. It was not not it wasn't healthy, but more importantly, just The only person I realized that was going to be able to make change was me.

You know, everybody's busy. Everybody has a million things going on, and I found that I could if I choose to, I could always find something to do. I could always be working. So instead, I choose to try to compartmentalize and balance my time as much as possible, and I'll be getting better at it. Still have a long way to go. Just ask my wife number two on how to be a better father right now. Set a good

example for your kids. It's easy to tell your kids one thing and then do another, but just remember that kids do what we do and not what we say. If you want your kids to grow up in a well adjusted, responsible and be moral adults, be a good person on all fronts, and a father they can look up to, well, of course I'm trying to do that. I mean I think everybody's trying to do that in their own way. We're not perfect by any stretch. Actually, I went to a boxing gym the other day and

Dawson came with us. Ashley and I went. Dawson came with us and he watched me fight, and then Ashley was like, should he be watching you punch, and I was like, honestly, yeah, because you know, fighting is a part of life, and I'm going to try to teach him that fighting is a sport and also it is the last resort in any type of altercation, and you should throw the first punch. And these are things that I want to teach my son because my dad taught

me and I think it helped me. And these are things that I don't want to shy away from, and so I think that's an aspect of trying to set a good example for my kids, and like even you know, showing him listen, you know, there's there are things in life that are a part of being a human, and that doesn't mean that you always have to act on them, no matter how upset you might get at something. That doesn't give you the right to hit something or yell

at someone. So you know, that's what I'm trying to do, just set a good example. He's still young, so he doesn't really understand a lot of it. But you know, I'm getting to the point now where like if he you know, slats me in the face even though it doesn't really hurt, and he laughs because it's funny. You know, I'm trying to not laugh back at him. It's tough though, because he's freaking cute when he laughs, even when he's

hitting me. But I'm trying to teach him like, no, we don't do that, gentle, because as much as it doesn't really hurt me, like if he slaps Ashley, it's gonna hurt her a lot more. So trying to, you know, teach him like, no, you can't slap anybody, buddy. I'm just giving examples. And he was slapping well before we went to the boxing class, so please don't be like, oh, well he saw you punched them. He's gonna punch, like dude, he's been punching way before he ever saw me throw

a punch. Number three. Commit to one date a week. Your kids will thank you. Make a commitment to go on a date once a week. It will take time away from your kids. Oh, a date with your A date with my wife. I thought, a date with your kids. All right, Well here we go. This is different then, because I was gonna say we should I should go on a date with Dawson every week, like just the two of us really spend some bonding time. But okay, I guess I can go on a date once a

week with Ashley. To make a commitment to go on a date once a week, it'll time away from your kids, but the trade off is worth it when your kids know that their parents are a unit. Learn how to respect your partner and be a giving man. Do whatever you can do to make life easier for your spouse, whether that's going to the grocery store after work or giving the kids baths so your partner can rest after a long day. Yeah, of course, I've been trying to

do that. Like when we got back from Disney, I told Ashley just go to the bedroom for like three hours and take a nap and eat some food and chill out. And then I took care of Dawson game and bat did all that stuff. And I tried to do that on a regular basis, but she does a lot. I mean, we're just both really busy. We both do a lot, you know, for Dawson, and I'm at Audiers all the time, and we do a lot for social

and that's a hard balance to take. What Ashley and I really need to do, and I completely agree with number three, is to go on a date. The two of us because I love Dawson more than anything, but I also love Ashley, and I've known Ashley for far longer than I've known Dawson, and I think you know you have to prioritize being a father, but you also have to prioritize being a husband. It's not easy. Number four, address the wounds in your past. Only are your children

suffer for them. Many of us unconsciously rehash the past by interacting with our kids in the same way our parents dealt with Some of us, some of these interactions are positive. Maybe your dad read a particular book to you, and that special memory is something you relive every time you read your child the same book. But other things are not so positive. Many times, in an attempt to heal our own inner wounds, we relive these moments with our children. Take stock of how you react to your

kids when they misbehave. Are you using any phrases or doing any actions that remind you of something that happened when you were a child. You'll be amazed at the amount of parental mistakes we unconsciously carry into the next generation. Yeah, I guess I don't know. I had a pretty great upbringing, Like it wasn't perfect, but you know, my parents loved me. They supported me in so many different ways and were

always there for me. My dad was at every single game, I'm not joking, every single sports game ever play, baseball, soccer, football, he was there. And like, as an adult thinking about that, how my dad was at every single game I ever played, even if I didn't play and I was riding the bench, he was there. You know that means more to me

than words could ever describe. So, you know, I don't know if I have to address the wounds, but I'm just talking about like things that my dad did to me that I'm passing on to Dawson or I hope to do for Dawson. That would be one of them, Like just just to be there for him, Just to be there for him. Number five, don't overshare things with your kids. Whoopsies. It's not appropriate to share our adult problems with our children and children it's even more inappropriate

to expect them to help us through them. Realistically, every man is going to have problems in life. You may have difficulties at work, with your spouse, with your parents, or making ends meet. Finding a healthy outlet for that stress and talk about with the right people, not your kids. If you and your spouse need to have an argument, don't argue in front of your kids. Put it off until later. Who knows, you may even need to lose the arg Excuse me, you may even lose the need

to argue. Huh, yeah, of course, I mean Ashley and I. You know, he's kind of so too young now, but maybe he's getting into an age where he might be able to realize that mommy and daddy are fighting. So we want to make sure that, you know, if we have to have some sort of not argument, but like intense conversation, that we do it away from Dawson. You know, I'm lucky Ashley and I don't really argue that much,

Like I really don't raise our voices at all. But you know, if we end up getting in an argument, we'll sure to do that away from Dawson. Number six, Get to know your kids, well, Yeah, do you know your kid's favorite flavor of ice cream? I have no idea. I don't know if Dawson has one. Do you know their favorite book or movie? Do you know what kind of music they like? I do? I like it, I know it all. The kid is just obsessed with Aladdin. He loves Aladdin. He wants Aladdin, and that's all he

wants in life. But those football too, which makes me happy. I play him the NFL themes, you know how, like each station has its own NFL theme, CBS, Fox, NBC. I play that for him and he loves it so much. He loves the music. It makes me so happy. I feel like we're going to really bond over sports later in life. Here he comes right now with his little truck, Dawson. You're rolling into the podcast bro number seven on how to be a better father. Don't have unfair expectations for

your kids. It's fair to expect your kids to be responsible, to do their chores, try their best at school, and have respect for other kids and adults. After all, you want your kids to grow up in a well adjusted into well adjusted adults, not just because it will make you happy, but because it will help them succeed in life. But it's not fair to expect your kids to be something that you want them to be, or in order to fill your own unfulfilled dreams of being a rock

star and athlete or a world class chess player. Yeah, I think I'll be fine. With that, Like, I just want Dawson to be happy. He doesn't have to be anything in particular, Like, as long as he is successful in his own heart, in his own mind, I'm happy with that. I mean, like, I want him to do sports, play sports, simply because that was the way that my dad and I bonded over sports, and so that's kind

of what really is important to me. But I mean, if Dawson ends up finding something that's really meaningful to him and important to him, I know I'm going to find it important as well, because it's important to him, and I recognize that there's really like I can't even think of a profession that I want him to be, you know what I mean. I mean, he could just

do whatever he wants. As long as he's successful and healthy and safe and doing the things that he likes to do and being able to make ends meet doing it, I'm fine with that. Number Eight. To be patient with your kids. Tell me something I don't know. It's challenging to be patient with kids, no matter their age. When kids are little, they throw tantrums over the most ridiculous things. Tell me about it. When they're older, they'll test the limits and push the envelope in ways though I have

you growing more gray hairs. Just remember that kids, well they're kids. They don't know how to act yet, and we have to do our best to be there for them in moments where they will inevitably mess up. Yeah, I mean, I couldn't agree more. I mean, I just want to be there. I know Dawson's going to mess up, you know, like it's just gonna happen. I hope and pray that Ashley and I do a good enough job of raising him and making sure that even when he does mess up, it is not, you know, a scary

mess up. And I'm sure every parent has has fears of that that puts his own life in danger or somebody else's or you know, breaks the law. You know, that's obviously very scary. But like, I know this, I know I'm always going to be there for him, like and I want to make sure that he knows that and understands that because that's what my parents said to me. And it's just the most important thing that ever happened in my life was knowing that my parents will always

be there for me no matter what happens. And I'm always gonna be there for Dawson no matter what happens. Number nine, make time for yourself. Off here we go. Finally, something about me. It's hard to be your best self for anyone when you don't have time for yourself. If you're stretched, then you're not going to be able to implement any of the tips we've outlined above. To that and make sure you're taking care of yourself when you

have kids. It could be easy to get wrapped up in the business of life and miss the little details that make a big difference towards your well being. Yeah, well, that's very sweet. Thank you for in the article. On a nice note, I definitely, you know, try to do as much as I can for myself, and honestly, I'm I'm happy, you know. I mean the like I get to go to the gym, which is fantastic and really gets my mind right, and sometimes I get to play sports.

I wish I could play more, but like when I have the opportunity to play sports, to go to the gym, that really kind of gives me a clarity and happiness that I need in my life. Because I remember when it first opened Audrey's and you know, Ashley wasn't too happier Rhode Island. We had Dawson, and I had no time to work out, I had no time to play sports. I felt like a bump on a log even though

I was working all the time. It was like I was just losing muscle and gaining a muffin top, and just I felt like, you know, I just felt awful about myself. And I had a lot, you know, I just then when I felt awful about myself physically, I felt awful about myself emotionally and mentally. And you know, going to the gym and working out really helps me with that. And that's kind of what I do for myself, and that is very important. Let me read the final word on this on this dad website. What is it

called again? It is called Daily Dad. Nine things to make yourself a better father. Right now, here's the final word from that article. Being a father is a lifetime journey, and it's when we pass on to our kids as they turned as they in turn become parents. Though being good father? Is it me? Or is this just worded weirdly? Though being a good father requires tremendous self discipline and

personal growth. You won't regret putting in the effort to build a better relationship with your kids and become the father they deserve. Don't be hard on yourself when you mess up. Everyone makes mistakes. As long as you're making an honest attempt to be a good father, you're doing the right thing. I mean, that's just not about fatherhood. That's about a parenthood, you know, whether your mom or dad.

And honestly, I take that life lesson into a lot of different aspects of my life, you know, I think of Audrey's you know, I always just try to be as honest with my employees as possible. I'm not perfect, they know that, but I do the best I can and it's all you can really do. So it's a fun article. Thanks for listening to that. Nine things on how to be a better father right now, still working on it. Heye. You know that's what this podcast is all about, you know, tuning in every single week hoping

that we just suck a little bit less. And on that note, make sure you listen to Sucker's podcast with Dean myself Klein. Make sure you tune in next week with my solo podcast, we'll talk more about fatherhood getting into Valentine's Day, which is insane, time flies by Sorry twenty twenty four. You Know What's Crazy? Nineteen ninety four was thirty years ago. Dumb and Dumber was released thirty years ago. I don't know if that makes senn of it us feel old, but make sure you guys tune

in next week. We're hopefully we suck just a little bit less.