Talk Daddy to Me: Due Date

well as well. Weather's turning here in Ryland. It's sunny outside. I was going to try to record this outside, but you know, logistically that just wasn't gonna happen. It's like sixty out. So if you're up in the new Land area, you understand where I'm coming from and how the seasonal depressions are very real thing. And weather's turning is making me happy just being outside, just being outside. You know, things were good. We had Easter. Talked about that on

the podcast last week. It was fun to see Dawson run around. He went ice skating for the first time. I wasn't there. I had to work, but my sister in law. No, what is Lauren? Ashley's sister is my sister in law her fiance because he's not my brother in law yet they're not married. Her fiance, Hunter is a plays hockey and so like he took they went skating together, which is a lot of fun. And so it was cool to see Dawson skating and just like running around on the ice not knowing what he was doing.

It was it was really cute. Ashley recorded a lot of videos and pictures, so I got to see it, which was great. I don't skate, so I can't really teach him how to do that. Unfortunately, I could teach him how to do a lot of different things, but

unfortunately skating is not my expertise. So I was glad the Hunter is able to you know, skate with him safely because you know, he would just like Hunter would be holding onto Dawson and Dawson would be gliding his skates and Hunter is a great skater, so he was able to stay on his feet and so Dawson had a lot of fun doing that, which is great. You know, another kid on the way, another boy number two and July July twenty eighth, I think is the due date

Ashley's gonna be giving birth down in Virginia again. So yeah, I mean, I feel like an awful human being for being brutally honest with my feelings. But I'm scared. I'm very scared when it comes to a second kid going back in that newborn phase. I you know, it's hard. Every parent knows this, and it's more so just I'm just trying to be as good of a father as possible. I love the stage that Dawson is in now, but I did not like the baby stage. It's just, you know,

I don't know if it's a father thing. I don't know if it's a me thing. I don't know what it is. But it doesn't mean I don't love my kid. Doesn't mean I'm not going to love my second kid. I am. I'm going to do everything I can to ensure that they're safe and loved and learning how to become a human being and have fun and feel safe.

You know. I think that's one of the most important things that I could provide for Dawson, is I want him to feel safe because at some point he's not going to as every human, you know, as every person listening to this podcast realizes, you know, at some point in your life you realize the danger of life and

the fragility of it all. And you know, I was talking to a friend of mine actually earlier today and she had to go to awake one of her friends co worker's brother died, you know, cancer just awful, awful, awful, awful. And she saw someone that we used to know high school and a little bit older than us, and I didn't really know too well, but I knew of and she said that he has cancer. And she saw him and he's you know, eighty pounds and doesn't look good.

And it's just like, you know, I can't even imagine the thoughts going through my head, you know, even if I was fighting. It's just, I know, this is a depressing thing to talk about, but unfortunately, this disease affects a lot of us. And yeah, I don't know, just to keep fighting. You got to keep fighting, obviously, but I don't know where my headspace would be knowing that, Like it just it doesn't feel like it's going in

a good direction. And I don't know how much time I have left, and there's you know, I was actually having an existential crisis about this. Maybe it's fatherhood, maybe it's a second baby coming. I don't really know. Well, I do know have you know, feelings and thoughts and emotions, and I try to put those, you know, into a folder and really not dwell on them. Dwelling is not the right word to express, but more so just giving it thought and giving it the adequate amount of effort

that I need to give it. But you know, obviously, with the baby coming on the way, I guess maybe that is why I think about life a lot differently. But I was thinking the other day about how everything we do matters because it's our life and we might only have one life to give and one you know, rotation on this earth. But also at the same time, nothing we do matters because when we die, our life will go on, and be excuse me, when we die, other people's lives will go on. Like, for example, I

think about Dawson. You know, I'm hoping I die before he does. I think every parent wants to die before their kid dies, and I want his life to go on, and of course, like I want him to grieve me in a sense because I want to be that impactful in his life. But my point being is that, like, you know, I see it with my my parents. You know, they don't have any parents. Now I don't have any grandparents, so it's you know, their parents have gone, and at

some point my parents will have be gone. But I want my life to continue for you know, my family and myself. And then also I want my parents, Like it's so sad to think about their parents being gone, but I want their life to get do you do.

My point being is I think there's something beautiful in that and the idea that everything you do matters, but also everything you do doesn't matter, and that life is just beautiful as is, and we're just trying to do the best we can and to bring joy and happiness and positivity. And that's what I'm trying to do. And

that doesn't mean I'm always right. That doesn't mean that I'm not sad sometimes or not angry, because I am, but I'm just trying to be I'm just trying to do my best, and I know everybody is, so I don't know, that's what I kind of think about when I'm thinking about the second kid. And I don't know if that's a good mindset to have, but I don't know. You know, of course we're going back into the newborn phase.

Ashley and I have talked about it. You know, we're gonna have a todd that we're gonna have a newborn. Oh boy, o boy, oh boy. I know the boy going back And I don't know how we're gonna tackle it. You I I was reading off a question by one of the producers about like, how are you going to tackle the newborn phase coming with Dawson and a newborn, And it's like, I don't know, I don't know how it's gonna be. And you know it's we're gonna play it out and we're gonna put our best foot forward

and give our kids as much love as possible. And and you know, with the newborn, as every parent can tell you, it's just really keeping this blob alive, you know, this beautiful little baby and ensuring that they're taken care of and safe and you know, sanitizing the bottles, feeding them, you know, comforting them when they need comforting, and you know, also taking care of Dawson and showing dawson affection. And I like, you know, I think Dawson's gonna be a

great big brother. I really do, and I think that these two will be best friends for a very very

long time. I mean, I'm sure they'll go through their awkward stages later in life where it's like they hate each other because they're just two bros and they're like competing at sports, or Dawson will be two years older, so Dawson might be like a senior in high school when the new one's a freshman or sophomore, and then you know, Dawson's not gonna want to hang out with him because he's you know, not cool or so on and so forth. But I really do think for the

majority of their lives he will be best friends. And I think that will start early on. Dawson is man. Dawson has so much love to give. He's so affectionate, and he's such a just a wonderful, wonderful little to be around. Now. He's so he's just loving. And for example, anytime we're watching for Aladdin and Aladdin and Jasmine kiss after the Magic Carpet Ride, as soon as he sees them kiss, he immediately turns to me and will go

and want to kiss me. Or if he sees someone hug on on on the TV, he'll immediately come up to and want to hug us. And those are great moments, great moments I went to trade for anything. So it's about balance, you know. I mean, it's just about balance, just trying to get through it. And you know, I I love my I love Dawson so much and I want to be there for him. I want to be a good father and I hope to be half as good of a father as my dad was to me.

But that's where my head is at right now. What baby item did you have to have with Dawson that you'll just never use with the new one? It really depends. I mean, there are so many items that Dawson went through. It's just finding whatever comforts the baby the most. You know, for Dawson, it was this little swing when he was a baby where if he was crying or if he was just agitated, we'd be able to put him in

this swing and he would immediately calm down. And so it's just finding that for the new born, you know, whatever he needs, uh to make sure that he is emotionally Okay, that's what we're gonna do. And luckily we have a lot of baby stuff that we can try with the new one, whether it be a swing or a vibration seat or you know, some sort of I forget what it's called, but it's like this pillow thing

that you can put on the couch with you. Anyway, there's a bunch of different stuff that we're definitely gonna try out and things that we need to have. So we're gonna do this s new again because we want sleep, which is very important. So the SNeW is this uh bascinet that rocks, and so we used it with Dawson. It was fantastic, and you know, we had a heart mometer on like his foot to ensure that, like we could track his breathing and all that good stuff. Got

technology has come so far. But the SNeW is a is a very important one because it was really for the first six, you know, six months, you know, Dawson was sleeping for you know, seven eight hours at a time. Maybe yes, but yeah, I'd say about that, which was perfect. So Ashley and I were able to get sleep. And then it was when we adjusted him out of the stew that caused issues. But it was worth it, honestly,

and which is why we're doing it again. So the snow is one thing that we definitely don't want to do. What mistakes. Did you learn from the first time with Dawson that you're not going to try that you try to not repeat. I mean, we make mistakes every day. I make mistakes every day. I think it's just about once again, doing the best you can, trying to make the best decision in the moment, and that's what we

try to do with Dawson. I think this is certainly not a mistake, but trying not to overthink a lot of different scenarios when you have your so many parents with multiple kids will tell you this. You know, with your first kid, it's you're so concerned about everything, like everything has to be perfect, and like the room has to be ready, and you know this, you know he's has to this baby just we have to watch him every second to make sure he's breathing, and you're so

hyper paranoid about every little movement. And I think now with the second one, it's more so like, let's try not to stress ourselves out too much. It's already stressful being a parent. The best thing we can do for our kids is to be the best version of ourselves, because that will bring the most happiness and love to them, and in order to do that, like doing everything we can within our power to ensure that our kids are safe and loved and having fun and then trying not

to overly focus on outside factors. And I think that's what I'm gonna do, and I hope Ashley does the same. So again, I don't know if I would call that a mistake. It's more so just like all right, you know, Jared, don't panic. It's just you know what you're doing, and you love your kids, like I know I love my I know I love Dustin so much, and I know I love I'm gonna love the new one just as much.

And just showing them that and telling them that and not feeling guilty that I'm not showing them enough love or I'm not doing everything I possibly could every second of the day to ensure that their life is better. I mean, that's just obscene. And you know, sometimes, of course, my mind just rattles through that, you know, where it's like, oh God, am I being a bad parent right now? It's like what am I talking about? You know? It's

because what I'm not. I just played with them for forty five minutes and now I want to break Like, does that makes me a bad parent? I don't know, you know, But so it's just trying to and then that goes for Dawson as well, trying to eliminate those moments of like being like, oh, I should be doing more, and it's like, listen, if I'm doing you know, of course I could be doing more. I always could be doing more, whether it be with my kids or myself,

or my work or so on and so forth. But you know, that's just true with everybody in life, you know, we always feel like that, and being a parent is no different, and it's probably more heightened because you know, you care about your kids so much and you want them to be as loved as possible. But you know, I think just me trying to focus on being the best parent I can is is is the thing that I'm I'm gonna do. Last question, do dads have their

own form of postpartuer depression? I don't know. I mean, I don't know if I would call it postpartum depression. I'm not the one pregnant, I'm not the one giving birth. Ashley is bearing ninety nine percent of the load here. Let's just be honest I'm here for emotional and moral support, and then once the baby comes, of course, for more

support taking care of them. Is it hard, Yes, But again I think, you know, when I look outside and I see the sun and I see the sky, and I realize that we're just a part of something much, much, much bigger than ourselves, and that, you know, I'm going to try to make the best decisions possible and try to do the right thing, and that's all I can do. And I think that helps me from falling into that pit of sadness when it gets really tough, because sometimes

it does. But life is sometimes really tough. But I think that's also kind of a beautiful thing. Life is not meant to be always happy and easy, and if it was, then you know, that's a pretty boring existence.

And you know, that's the beautiful thing about life is that you get to experience all these different emotions, and you get to experience easy times, and you get to experience difficult times, and you get to experience happiness, and you get to experience sadness, and you get to experience excitement, and you get to experience fear, and I try not to let fear dictate the decisions that I make. However, I'd be lying if I said that I don't experience fear,

because I do. I get scared about a lot of things, but I try not to let that impact me moving forward. I feel it and it makes me nervous and sometimes I'll run away from it, but most of the time I try to look at it objectively and make the best decision possible. So anyway, that's my podcast. This week felt like another therapy session for me myself, and I hopefully you gained something out of it. I don't really know what, but really appreciate you guys listening to this podcast.

I can't thank you enough. Truthfully, you're the best. Make sure you're tune in next week. We're hopefully we all sucked just a little less. Mm hmm