Surviving the Ultimate Sucky Date

break right now. She'll be back here in a second. Um, But we had an airport. She's at an airport like she just landed. She just landed somewhere. I think she was. I think she might be in New York now. I don't know if she's traveling from Montreal or to Montreal. You know, I gotta say what she's doing right now. It's something she likes to talk about a lot, so you know, with some people this would be inappropriate to say. Bit she is using the bathroom, which she loves talking about.

I have trouble after an air after a long flight, uh, using the stopped up for a while. Yeah, well, there are a few things that hurt me more than using a public bathroom at the airport. It takes me about ten minutes just to get the stall ready for everything, because I don't I don't just put toilet paper down. I put about seven layers of toilet paper down. Sometimes the things they give you know, because that's the worst invention I've ever seen. Have you ever tried to use

one of those plastic covers for the toilet? They always rip, They're so flimsy, and like sometimes I feel like they just they get wet. They soak up the water from the toilet, because no matter what public bathroom you're in, it's soaked. For whatever reason, people just can't use the toilet or the urinal or the sink correctly. I always assume I'm using it wrong, and that's why I'm ripping

it or doing because I was. They were taught how to use those that I am always alone when I'm using them, so I must not know how to use these. But Sysony from the Seacrest Show had a theory that that flap, what the hell is that she thinks that's supposed to go over the front of the bowl to stop your underpants from touching the bowl. There's no not that whatever company creates those did not invest that type

of money for your underwear. I think it goes in the water to ensure that it gets pulled down when you flush. But that's disgusting. Well, it's all disgusting, but I know, but when I can't, Like when I see the flap, I'm like, all right, we're gonna get a little bit t m I. But I think to myself, not only is that flap in the water, but it will be in the midst of also something that is

entering the water. As I said, no, but I just feel gross because then it's just it's all connected, right, because that flap is connected to the paper that I'm sitting on, and then you know, my poop is going to be hitting the flap, and then I'll be sitting also on the other part. It's just today when I do that ripping thing, and I ripped the whole thing apart, I wondered. I wondered, at one point in my life, am I not supposed to rip it? Is my natural

bodily function going to rip it automatically? Well, I think that's a theory you should test out next time. They're traveling, the holidays are around somewhere. Things. I think they're more trouble than their word. So are you do you use toilet paper? Use nothing? You just go Yeah, you think less of me, not that I respected you, And I thing. There's bacteria galore on that seat. It's the only going to touch the back of my thigh, and I'm I don't have any way of ingesting that bacteria into my

body through my thigh. I'm not gonna lick the cover of the seat. I'm just gonna sit on it. And so I've decided that's okay. I've rationalized it. That's fair. I don't think that's crazy. Man, We're really getting some good content. I'm just talking about toilet seat covers. Found attaches it to your to your rear end like a paper machet, almost like you're like wallpaper like, and then it's just on there forever, I'm wearing one right now, you have about seven. I can see they're coming through

your pants. Try or again would So we're currently calling Vanessa. Vanessa is traveling either to or from Montreal as she does Dean. Have you seen his Instagram? He's traveling all around the world yet again, this man. I don't know where he is, but it's a beautiful location. I wish. Do you guys travel Have you guys ever really traveled alone? No? No, never really alone. I mean a little bit with for work. Yeah, But have you ever just gone to a location by yourself?

I don't think I have either. It takes a certain kind of person, and I think to say I respect it. I respect that kind of person. I envy it. I wish I had that type of personality. I I like going places, but only like a few years ago. First time ever went to Los Angeles, I traveled by myself, but I had a friend here that I stayed here with, And so I do travel alone. But I wouldn't say I travel to places and then stay by myself and then really just make friends on a whim. I don't

think I have that type of personality either. Eastan, could you travel by yourself? Oh? Yes, I do lots of stuff by myself. Where's the craziest Well, hold on, there's a difference between doing things by yourself and traveling by yourself. Because I like someone like Dean. I mean he's traveling from country to country to country by himself and not meeting friends there. He's just going to these places on his on his lonesome. I haven't traveled outside the country

by myself, um, but I have. Like I used to live in Northern California, I would come down to southern California by myself to see music, and I wouldn't meet anyone. I would just go to the show and what what type of music. There's this female rap group that I like quite a bit that no one else likes. They're called The Millionaires. They were on in a season of Bad Girls Club. But I like the Millions quite a bit, and no one else wanted to go see them with me.

So I came down to Annaheim and I saw the show, and I took myself out to the ESPN Zone and then I stayed the night in the Motel six and drove them the next day. You gave yourself a nice little date night. But I'm sure you well deserved. Yes, I like to think, so, well, look what's the cat drag gag Vanessa? We need some information? What air part

are you in right now? So I'm at LaGuardia New York City, in New York, and you had Yeah, I love New York, but I don't you guys know that I have, like you were, um luck when it comes to traveling. So of course my flight was delayed. I was hosting a radio show for Virgin Radio, which is part of my Heart Radio family, and I like sat out of there, and of course my flight was in May for like an hour and a half or two hours. We're just like silling on the on the airplane for

forty five minutes flight. So I'm just hanging out here talking to you guys before I have to cut off into a cabin to my hotel. Must have been an emergency to use the LaGuardia bathroom, Mark. I told you I was stuck on an airplane for like three hours, so yes, you know I had this supporting and just needed to at least the piece. Do you use a toilet feed cover? Squad? Oh even for that interesting, That is a lot of effort to put into the bathroom.

Just put a cover on and put some TP on there. No, I could see sitting squatting for number one is reasonable. I think squatting for number two that that's some thigh action going on. That's a commitment that is that's going to burn. It's not that terrible because you go when you have to go, You're not I'm not going for fifty minutes like reading articles. Actually I did. When you sent me the articles free today, I was like, okay,

well that's a nice little segue to the article. Anyway. UM, so, Vanessa, we wanted to talk to you a little bit about the article that was released I believe on US Weekly about Lauren bush Now, Now, have you ever met Lauren Bushnell? I love her. Yes they have. Okay, I've only met her a couple of times, but she was very sweet.

She was actually the first person I reached out to one Um Nick and I got engaged, and she was with Ben at the time, and we spoke on the phone and she was very supportive and inderstood exactly what I was going through. UM and we kept in contact even after the breakup. And uh, we've seen each other a few times. So quick backstory and Lauren bush Now, for those of you don't know, Lauren was on Ben

Higgins season to The Bachelor. She ended up winning. Ben Higgins and her were engaged for a little while before they called the engagement off and Ben was the bachelor prior to Nick, whose Vanessa was on that season and Vanessa ended up getting engaged to Nick. So, Vanessa, you're saying you reached out to Lauren Bushnell just for some advice to kind of figure out what was coming, I'm assuming yeah, exactly. Okay, did she have any good advice for you? Yeah, you know, send me to cancel out

all the noise, the outside noise. Um. So she's very supportive and so Ben, we actually went on a date and that was the first time I've been I love then. Lauren's a very sweet woman too. Yeah. Um, but there was an article released about Lauren Bushnell. She is dating Chris Lane, who is a country singer. I believe that's correct. Yeah, he's definitely a country singer. I was just asking the group to see if you guys at all, but apparently not, um so Lauren bush Nell. Actually he is. He's a

good looking man. I'm currently looking at a at a picture of him right now. Um, very good looking man. And apparently Chris Lane was dating Lauren Barr before he started dating Lauren bush Now, Novena, do you know who Lauren Barr is? Lauren Barr was on Ben season of The Battler and I'm not sure how far he made it on. I'm not sure about how far she made it. I believe she may have been on Paradise too. I don't remember exactly, but she was. She was one of

the many Lauren's on Ben season. She was known as lb um and so aparently Lauren bushnell Um. Before they went public with the relationships, she reached out to Lauren Barr, who kind of talked about their relationship for a little while. So this guy, Chris Lane has dated a couple a couple of Bachelorurettes, which is very interesting. Um so you ye, I was in Nashville when it was right after we finished airing, sorry filming Art season. I was in Nashville

and I saw him. Think Claire, I don't remember last name. Oh Crawley, Yeah, Claire Crawley. Hold on, So you're telling me that he's dated Lauren to Laurence from Ben season's Claire, And then did you just say one more? I think that's wow. This guy should just be on the Bachelor. Oh my god. I think he just wants to be a Bachler, but he standing off the free One's a great person. I've ever met Claire, Claire's sweetheart as well. Lauren. Yeah,

I've met Lauren a couple of times. Super sweetheart. I think it was very nice for her to reach out to LB before they came out. So apparently, as Weekly it goes on to say Chris was dating LB Lauren Bar right before he was dating Lauren Bushnell. Lauren Bushnell called LB. God, there's so many Laurens. I'm already so confused. So let's get this right. So Lauren Bushnell called LB also known as Lauren bar a couple of days ago

to tell her that they were together. So Lauren Bushnell called LB to say, Hey, listen, I'm currently dating Chris. I know you guys used to date. We're gonna go public with our relationship. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Do you think Lauren needed to do that? Bushnell? Yeah. I think that's the noble thing to do. I I mean, also, all depending on how close they were. If it was obviously they were close enough for her to reach out to her and let her know if it's news before

she found out through the internet. I think there's nothing more than a slap in the face and finding something out through an online article or through Instagram or you know, um, through Lord of Mouth. So I think it was the respective respectful things of Lauren to do, for Lawrence to do Lawren the last names to make life easier. And so yeah, I mean it's tough, right because you can't

forget that you're in a public relationship. And for me personally, when when Ashley and I came out and announced our relationship back and in May, um, I was kind of going back and forth in my own head whether I should reach out to one particular ex girlfriend and let her know that I am now dating Actually we're going to announce our relationship. And I was talking to my sister about it, and uh, you know, I was talking

to a couple of friends about it. Some are saying, you don't owe her anything, there's really nothing you need to say, and then they're saying, if you wanted to reach out More importantly, I was nervous to reaching out, not for her sake, but for Ashley's sake, because I didn't want Ashley to think that I was putting my ars girlfriend's feelings over her own in any way. So it's kind of a fine line. Um. And so I

ended up reaching out. But I reached out, I felt like too late, and I wish I could have redone that I think I would have done it. I think I could have done a better job than I did, which I I regret. Unfortunately, I can get some whenever. Like you know, if I I date a guy and he starts by seeing anything negative about his ex girlfriend, to me, that's a huge red slag that many next. No, no, no no at all. I'm thinking. I'm just trying to

give a comparison here. So if like someone has something negative to say about their x X whatever boyfriend or girlfriends, it's the red slag for someone that wants to um that that thinks highly of their significant other. After they break up, it's a sign that they moved on and they're on neutral terms. So I think if you would have done it a little bit sooner, I don't know, if I don't know fastly would I mean, I don't know,

ask you that well, but I don't think. I think if I were to put myself in asty shoes, she she may have thought that was would have been a respectful thing for you to do UM, because it's like it so like um a soft spite to you. You know, still decide that you're carrying and you're you consider other

people feeling. No, I think I think I was just overthinking the situation, if I'm being honest and not also the COMPARI the comparison here is that we're if Ashley were to call this person your X, and that's a little weird, isn't Well she did? Yeah, yeah, yeah she called. It wasn't you have the call? It was actually the call? Well, no, she called somebody, uh, an X of hers a couple of days before he came out and said, you know, hey,

this is happening. But the Lauren's situations, it was with the new girlfriend called the old girlfriends, So it would be actually calling your AX and maybe you calling Ashley's act. I think it's a litt different because I'm assuming the reason Bushnell reached out the bars because they were friends, because they were on the same season in the Batchelor. So I'm assuming that they knew each other and she wanted to be respectful. Yeah. Now do you think it

would have been more appropriate for Christical? Um? I think it depends on what their relationship. Mean. Yeah, I feel like it's a girl code. Is this a cety? Well, mostly it's a celebrity thing. But I think it might be just becoming a modern day thing with Facebook, right before you go social media official, do you need to warn excess before you do that. I don't go. I don't know. It depends. It really depends because there is a difference between because there's a difference between a public

relationship and a non public relationship. Because someone like Lauren bush Now and this guy Chris Lane, like they're going to be in articles and some of their inside relationship stories will be brought to the public, whereas if you're not in a public relationship, it's really just going to be about whatever you put on your social media. So for the other ex partner, boyfriend and girlfriend, they can

just unfollow. I think it's very difficult for somebody who's in a public relationship for their exod they're just in headlines. I don't mean I agree, but I also disagree. It's so easy nowadays to find out which friend to stay firth and which friends like you don't have to be following them. Someone else could be a friend, a mutual friend of yours, could be following your ex or uh, the person that they're dating. Listen, I dated this guy,

and um, it's the craziest story. I dated this guy and then a friend came out to visit me in Montreal and then uh, they go back home to their hometown and they're like, oh, I saw that you hung out Vanessa this weekend and they're like yeah. And that person was like, oh's following the boyfriends And that person was like, what, Vanessa doesn't have a boyfriend. This guy that I casually dated posted pictures of me on his Instagram seed, but I deleted all of my mutual friends

so that I couldn't find out. But it just so happened that we had a mutual friend in common and it came back to me. I don't think it's because like I was in the public eye just because he this person was following this a mutual friend of ours. So I think the universe will always pray in your favor.

You don't have to bump searching for sure, will come out of the closet or whatever the expressionist and it'll like expose itself before you have to go out it maybe, But I also don't advocate that everybody should reach out to the X before they start dating someone new, Like that's just the way life goes. Unfortunately, I think that um if you're going to start to date someone that a friend of yours had dated, then it's the proper

thing to do. Reach out and just start your relationship on a good note and like karma is not gonna come and butt you in the ask later on. All right, let me ask you a different question. Should Lauren Bushnell have contacted Ben Higgins and told him no, why house Ben Higgins? What does he have to do with them? But that's that's my point. So like for everybody that's

not in a public relationship, but Lauren Barr dated Chris Lane. Yeah, but our conversation earlier was do you think somebody needs to reach out to their ex when they're in a new relationship before they like post some thing on social media? And for somebody that's not in a public relationship, I don't think it's necessary to do. I'm not think might

have even reached out to Bed. She might have it and said, hey, by the way, heads up, this is going on and this is gonna be public, just so you know, because the key is how do they find out? You don't want your ex to find out from friend of a friend, from rumor mill, from entertainment tonight, whatever

the situation. Maybe you'd rather hear from them, right, Yes, I agree, but no, But I mean if if I were, if I would to start dating someone, I wouldn't call it Nick and be like, hey, heads up dating someone? Like I agree. Just conversely, Nick wouldn't call you, and I don't think neither one of you needs to do that. Yeah, okay, well I think we are all Yeah, I think we're all agreement on that one. We have a guest here. I want to bring her in. Vanessa, you gotta get

in your cab. Thank you for coming on. Yes, guys have the worst less of travel, but enjoy the rest of the episode. Thanks Vanessa. All right, was you guys know the holidays are coming up, which means it's probably getting colder where you're at, which means I just want it from me Personally, I want to stay in and watch TV all day. And the cool thing is now there's a lot of streaming services out there, and one

of the greatest streaming services is Amazon Fire TV. It brings all the live and streaming content that you love to the biggest screen in your house, also known as the television. You can watch everything you love with access to Netflix Prime Video, Hulu and so much more. You can even watch YouTube videos and access websites like Reddit. You can check Facebook all on the fire TV, from makeup tutorials two memorizing cake icing videos to the new

drama That's all the buzz. Whatever you're into, it's on fire TV. Watching YouTube is all about you, and when it's on the big screen with fire TV, it's the ultimate ultimate mix of entertainment and relaxation. I've been binge watching The Good Place with Kristen Bell. Obviously that's Ashley's choice, not my own. But the cool thing is I'm gonna make her start watching Barry, which is on HBO right afterward. Is a good show. You gotta admit that's a funny show.

It is a funny show. I'm very excited to start Barry though, because I'm a big Bill Pater fan. Um and so that would be coming up soon. Again, that's all on Amazon fire TV. All you have to do is say Alexa, open YouTube and I can watch my favorite YouTube channel. Um. Everything is on the TV. Like we said, it's better, uh, watching on the TV than on your laptop or at work or squinting into your phone. And if it wasn't enough. Guys, you can even listen to this podcast and your music with the I Heart

Radio app on fire TV. All you have to do is head to Amazon dot com Slash I Suck Podcast Again, that's Amazon dot com Slash I Suck Podcast to order a Fire TV of your very own, and they make gifts. Guys. It's the holiday season, so all your friends and family members this holiday season, get them the Amazon Fire TV by going to Amazon dot com Slash I Suck Podcast. What a great website. Check it out today. Also, with the holidays coming up, guys, a lot of people unfortunately

are getting sick. We are in the midst of the flu season. Ashley is actually having a little bit of a cold right now, but she's trying to do her best to stay healthy and one of the things that she can do is take vitamins, and so she's been trying the Ritual vitamins, which are all for women. UM Ritual is the perfect vitamin. It's just two daily capsules made with the nine essential nutrients most women lack from

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Then I didn't know what this new. Oh it's like a snooze button button. Yeah great, pretty awesome. Whether you're living your daily life or creating it, why not add some good looking science into your daily routine. Guys, you can visit ritual dot com right now to get your ritual today. Now you're gonna go to ritual dot com slash Dean and get your vitamins today. Check them out. They're great. Here we go ritual dot com slash Dean Well in studio. We have a very lovely guest. We

have Brittany Louise Taylor and I'm saying that right. Brittany, thank you so much for joining us today. You are a very special guest. Um. So, Brittany, tell our audience this is the help us stuck, a dating podcast. So it's all about dating. You have a little bit of background, a massive background in that I thoroughly suck at dating, So I I belong here. This is my moment. You're in the right place. So tell our audience a little bit about yourself. Um, I make videos on YouTube and

I have for the past. It was eleven twelve years. I'm really tall and skinny, so it's kind of hard to book me in acting. So I saw you six but I like heels too, so that makes me like six four. So I'm the one you notice when you're out, like not in a good way, because like that's the girl in line subway, Like you know, are you wearing heels right now? Okay? Because I noticed I was, like, you look taller than six ft but I mean when you when you're six ft, like, what's the point? What's

another like three or four inches? Does that make sense? Like it doesn't matter you're already six ft. Yeah, you might as well just rocket rocket four. So I'm sorry. Continue, um no, So I make videos on YouTube. I have my son will be two this week because I have a two year old son, single mom, and I went through one of the most horrific dating experiences, Like my

life was like a lifetime movie. Yeah, And you have a book coming out, I do coming out, Yeah, And it goes into how I met him on Tinder and all the I fell in love, had a baby, and kind of my whole entire world went crashing down around me and the things that I discovered when I left him that are just bone chilling and still kind of scare me at night. But I'm just being a voice for every woman that's ever been abused and never spoken up.

This is what we call a cautionary tale. It's a cautionary tale exactly in the name of it, don't do what I did. The name of it is a sucky love story overcoming unhappily ever after. And now you're on the help. I Secon Dating podcast, So it does come full circle, it really does. Um, so how did you meet this particular person that's I swept right on Tender? So?

I mean I think I kind of in my gut knew we weren't going to be right for each other because you know, he had this like one photo was him like without a shirt on, holding a great fruit and knife in it, and he kind of like he had like interesting but they were like professional photos on his tender profile, which is pretty normal in l A, like you know that people are actors or but he was a doctor from Europe and it just seemed a little stage. But he was so cute I couldn't resist.

Was that a professional photo? The one all of them? Yeah? Yeah, I was a professional. He was like like knifeing a set dress like with like only blue jeans on. But he had a nice body. So I'm sorry, Like it's still I'm female and somewhat shallow, Like the packs got me. Listen, it's an online dating app, Like the first thing you see is the physical appearance of somebody, but it's always visual and then flags that draws are the things that should be pushing us away, but we can't help ourselves.

If only had a time capsule, our time machine, I could go back and talk to myself about this. But yeah, um and so, so it's a questionary tale about what happened with you and everything that happened. So how long were you guys dating for almost two years? Okay? So yeah, and then this is the father of your child. Yes, and you are very open about these things. I don't want people to think that like I'm pressing you with you know, I want to talk about it. Yeah, I've

seen it. I've seen a lot of your videos on YouTube, which is very successful in congratulations on your success with that, and they're very entertaining. And I've seen videos of what is your son's name, Rex Rex? I think just a little t Rex Dinstre t Rex Yes, um and department adorable um and so uh. He is the father every child and he kind of went through a difficult time. But he said and one of your videos I remember

you saying it was it was very fast. How how everything he can't yeh family marriage like this was in the first couple of months, like within the first few dates he was talking marriage. And I was gonna like slow down, buddy, because of the coo do I asked for permission, like your mom, I'm like, wait a minute, like this was only date number two, and he already told me, like within like a week that it was like love first sight. He thought I was the most

beautiful woman he had ever seen. He came on really strong and fast, and then from there he kind of isolated me from my friends and family because you know, he had to keep up whatever he had going on or whatever his motives were, so he kept me. You know, anyone that I was hanging out that wasn't him was not okay. So and then he started to be where

he always had sob stories about things. So I started financially supporting him because he said he was a doctor from Europe, but he just needed to pass his board exams because when you come from Europe you need to go through a process and take tests and make sure that you know you are ready to practice medicine the United States. So he's like, I just need two months. So I was like, okay, I will financially support you

for two months. You get your boards done, and then you know, you'll be able to help me a lot of a partnership. But two months turned into four turned into six before I knew it. I found out I was pregnant. I also had a girl come out of the woodworks and say that you know, they were having an affair. He told me. He told me that she was a call girl and trying to get money from him because his family was wealthy. And then also the reason, it's just she had dirt on him because he was

already married. So he told me when he met me that he paid his last hundred and seventy thousand dollars to this Russian woman so she would marry him for a green card whause the U S citizen. So I believed him. He was just that, like it's so hard, Like I'm he's still I like, no, I think it was my first time ever being in love. And anyone in love will tell you like when you're in love, you do have love goggles and you don't see things correctly,

and you want to believe people's excuses. You don't want to believe that you're you don't want if they are giving you legitimate facts. How he's like, he showed me on a computer how you can generate text messages. He's like, she's making this up. Look these photos are from my friend, and she's like writing you know my name, and you can put the battery power and the date and the time. He showed me how she could have legitimately done this, but when I got on the phone with her, he

was facetiming her at my mom's house. So she described in detail, like my mom's furniture and like the lower level. And I was like, if I only would have talked to her, I would have known that he was lying. But thankfully I got out when I did. But how long were you together? Um? It was almost almost two years. But the yeah, about about two years. And did you guys get married? No? He he said one day was like, oh, you're basically like my wife. And I'm like yeah, He's like,

well we should get married. But he never got me a ring, so we were engaged without a ring. And I just wanted a cheap like I Um, I always wanted a vintage rings. So we started looking in downtown because you know, there's some really cool like ring shops where you can get like vintage jewelry. I just wanted one that was like, you know, maybe that was in

dollars or something. But he insisted that you know when he got his ten billion dollars out of the bank that he was gonna get me this like massive rock, and I it's not what I wanted. But we started looking at like high end property and like Malibu and ranch of Santa Fe and San Diego and whatnot. And then he told me that the banker ran away with

the money. And at that point, I had already been pregnant for five months, not working because of morning sickness, financially supporting him, put my house on the market and then ended up having to sell it just to cover my debt, and you know, because I'm about to have a baby. Holy crap. How long were you guys together before you get pregnant? Um, I think it was a year and a year and a half. I don't. Yeah,

it wasn't It was that was fast. And also too, he was a doctor, so he insisted that we don't use any kind of birth control or whatever. He's like, oh, if I pull out, you won't get pregnant, he said,

And I believed him because he was a doctor. And I mean, like part of me kept saying, well, and he's like, oh, statistically it's not possible, And yeah, I get the that there's my book is Everything not to do in a relationship For our listeners out there, the pull out method is not scientifically proven to be proof. And even if a doctor tells you that it is, it's not like trust me, I got pregnant. But wait,

he wasn't a doctor. We don't know. I wasn't able, Like it's so complicated, Like even during our trial, the judge said, do I think he went to medical school? Yeah? But are you a doctor? I think that's a technicality because his time here. He didn't even know in my trial like a W nine like a W two was or ten ninety nine, or he had never practiced medicine

in the United States. And during my birth he didn't know his glove size and didn't know certain things like if you're a doctor, you know you're like small, medium or large, like in a glove. And he was like, She's like, but he may have had a PhD. We don't. We just I don't know. I just And then even within investigator, there's no like there's so many things that I just don't know. But I know a lot of

our relationship were really artful lies. It's it's fascinating scrolling through the the just kind of a timeline of your YouTube videos. Yeah, fun, happy song parodies, parody videos, and then with him it looks like some of these yeah, I um, it was his idea. He but it was his idea when I was sick because I couldn't do like my normal, like um, high production value videos. So

He's like, let's start vlogging. And I was like, I've never been someone who wanted to put my life out like that, because you do open yourself up to a lot of criticism when you start vlogging and whatnot, because this is your life, so people can question even which just like dish stipy, it was like that people judge anything and everything and you have to have a really thick skin for it. But I started doing it and

then they took off. Like people loved it. It was like a Lucy and Daisy kind of thing, like, you know, this cute foreigner with an accent and we had a giant bulldog that was a ham and me and people ate it up, but they didn't really know like all the abuse that was happening in the background and even some of my video titles. I was trying to like tip people off, like I feel trapped or whatever, but it would have nothing to do with the video. But I so badly wanted to tell people what was going on.

Why didn't you feel like you couldn't spear? Yeah? I mean he used a lot of like scare and fear tactics and probably will continue my entire life to do so. But like any like victim will tell you, when they get away and they get into a healthy environment, you get your strength back, and then you get your voice back, and then you get angry and you're still scared, but you like you have this need to want to share what happened and protect other people from your pain. Yeah,

and is this what the book is about? It's all it's the I I literally wrote it like a narrative where I don't it's not a normal memoir. Why this happened? Here's my thoughts on that, here's the lessons I wrote it like from start to finish as I was living it. This is the story of our relationships. So people can figure out what they want to take out of it. I didn't want to tell people what to think. They can figure out what I did wrong just by reading it. Yeah,

it seems like a questionary tale. A tale on a few different levels. Yeah, one on online dating and then for the more with a more serious issue, which is domestic violence. Yeah, and also just like doing your homework. You know, it's not I think that you know, I was just so trusting. I think that was my biggest mistake. And you know, I don't want to tell people not to be trusting, but you really do need to do your homework, like see if people work where they say

they work, or know who they say they know. And you know, if if you know four or five six times it all lines up, then you probably can trust them. But you can't just believe everyone everything that everyone says at face value. No, I completely agree. Actually, there was an l A l A Times article that came out I think it was it was last year, and it says, um, seven safety tips to remember for online dating. Um, but

it's it's I'm so single forever now. Well, it's just more so like like you said, questionnaire tales of doing your homework junior research. For example, number one is tell someone tell someone that you're going on a day. Yeah, it's smart and it's very smart, right, so your friends know where you're at that you're supposed to be here at this certain time with this particular person, because I advocate online dating using apps. Yeah, all too busy, like all too busy. I was just I would have never

like I would have never been with anyone. I was just sitting in my house working all day like a troll, with my my curtains, clothes and editing like I. You know, I didn't see people sometimes for a week, like I. You know. Technology is not a bad thing. No, not a bad thing at all, but you have to use it smartly. Right. And then it's says number two, go easy on the alcohol. Sorry for the buzz kill, but they advised making the first day alcohol free, which I

always advocate a coffee day. Anyway, I'm alone, I regress. I never drink so like I become five. So I am always the d D. So I go along and tell im they call me the librarian. I tell everyone what happened the next day, and I have a ton of fun because I'm witning, like witnessing all the shenanigans, but I'm never participating. It's always better witnessing the shenanigans than being a part of the um. It says three, limit the personal data you reveal um so it says,

goes this goes beyond a tender day. Practice a little discretion. You don't want personal details, such a true address, as precisely where you plan to be on Saturday night, things that are very specific. They say, stay away from that, specifically on the first day, because while you're meeting someone, they are still strangers, says number four. Do a little online sleeping. So google pretty much the person you're meeting,

which I I think so too. I googled him, But there were websites that may or may not be legitimate, so you can't even trust that. What do you mean, Like there were things where he was on like a vape board as a doctor, like you know, who know this? This company went out of business and it has a picture of him like his you know cousin if it's his cousin took it and yeah, I know that now. But like just because he's a doctor on a website

for vaping doesn't mean it's actually a doctor totally. And they say, I was, I don't know if it's this article another one, but the same thing when you look up somebody on social media, just be smart if they have, you know, one picture with zero followers or so on, like just you know, become your own a little investigator, you know, go a little deeper because it is a little scary. Number five is they say talk actually talk

before the first date. So that's another question that we brought up, talk about like either face timing before a first day or calling them making sure that this is an actual Yeah. I I probably save you some from some like weird dates too, because you know there's those ones that are really pretty and then you get around and we're like, oh no, no, no, yeah, yeah, that probably would would help. Um. And then number six says they're safety in crowds. Always meet up with somebody, um,

you know, at a bar. Never go to a hotel, Never go to and I even like even at a bar at a hotel, I'd probably stay away from because that's just I'm with you on coffee or a lunch. Say something's like safe. I agree, because I completely advocate using online dating, but you just have to use it smartly and make sure that you know, like we talked about being in a public place, make sure you tell your friends where you're gonna be. Um. And then it

says number seven go home alone. Uh, you know, try to do your best to not have this turn into an overnight date. Um. But it's all true, you know, it's it's it's it's the modern world we live in, you know, and it's it's one of those things. I feel like we either adapt or we die. Um and in this case, we either adapt or we die alone exactly because it really is just everybody's meeting each other online and there's nothing wrong with that, but you have

to just like yourself, you know. It's just like, yeah, but if someone's coming on really strong, if like you know, they're saying it's first sight, if they want to marry you right away, if they're controlling you, if they're isolating you, there are things that are just behavior people that are going to be toxic. It reminds me of the Dirty John, you know. What's so funny because it's very similar but not like you know, no one tried to kill me

in the end, Like what's a dirty jomp? Oh, you need to listen to it, but it's it's it's very similar, but it's we always say it's like a younger European Dirty John, like but like you know, listening to hers, there are some similarities and what's even Yeah, but what's even creepier is my my ex was in Newport Beach for a while, So I'm like, didn't you know this styre liked? He like? Was that his mentor? I don't know if you don't know. It's a great podcast. The

Only Times put it out. It's about a truth story and Orange County of a guy who pretended to be a doctor between to be all these things and scammed this woman out a whole bunch of money and she supported him for a long period of time, ended up. Don't give away. Yes, it's really good and now it's a series on Bravo. Yeah, I think it's on Bravo. Yeah, with Connie Britain. Yeah, there's there. Yeah, there's some because it's people that are like that, that are Connorist or whatever.

They do have certain taxs you can't stay because I yes, but there are certain things like he definitely, you know, faked an illness at one point and try to get my bank account information and there was definitely a lot going on or like you know, tricked me into giving him like our all our pernent documents like social Security cards and whatnot because he said he was dying and wanted to put land in our name, like for my son and I. But now I'm like, yeah, you're just

like covering your head. Yared, No fixed my head. I thought. I thought you're going like, oh God, So, like you know, I've had to freeze my credit and all that stuff. So but people like John and Dirty John or my guy me lotion in my you know, life, they all kind of operate the same. And I think the more that people come forward, it educates everyone because there's only

certain tactics that work. Like if if someone comes and thinks you are the you know, the besknees from the start and comes on strong and you are perfect, something that's wrong, but exactly that they know that. They know that that's what women fall for it or or men, because like one in four women in their lifetime will experience domestic violence and one in nine men in our

lifetime will experience some form of it. So, like, you know, if if everyone is aware of the tactics these people use, they're not gonna be able to do it because there's only so many things that work. What are some of the tactics, Like I said, come on strong, you're perfect. They want to marry you. Let's say, like, yeah, I was saying isolation. Um. They also figure out a way for you to take care of their problems all the time.

They'll they'll give you a sob story like in crying, and you feel the need to have to and a lot of times ends up being money. So it's always like I can't pay for like my car because of whatever. And then you're like, okay, well I'll take out a car loan so you won't pay on your interest because i'm you know, an immigrants and they have no you know, he said he had no credit so it would have

been like through. So I was like, okay, Then I took out a car loan in his in my name, and then before you know what, I was paying the car payments too when he was to pay the car payments.

I feel like I hear these stories all the time from a catfish standpoint, where it's a lot of online meeting up chat rooms, and then it's somebody who's fallen in love with this person and then it ends up being a scam and they're just trying to get money and they're like, no, I need money to come to the United States, and can you please send me ten thousand dollars and I can come to you blah blah blah.

But in you're a case, this was very personal. But mine makes no sense too because the the you know, the woman that he was married to, she was a trust fund but baby with a ton of money. I'm not like you know, I've done okay for myself, but like she before she took down her social media had you know, pictures of her on a yacht and private planes, and like the car he was driving, and all his luxuries that he had when he met me were probably purchased by her. So why me? Like he left that

to be with me. So I don't know if he just found me more of a challenge and more interesting, or was sick of sleeping with someone who was twice his age, or or what. I still don't understand why he because he used to tell me all the time, I had everything when I met you. I had everything when I met you, and I kept thinking it always put the blame on me and made me feel like I had to work harder or give more because he lost so much being with me. Do you know why

you were a target for him? And because I know you all you would blame yourself in this situation, and of course there's no reason to do that, of course, but do you know what about you, because like you said, you're not on yachts on social media. Why he targeted you? Because somebody has all these followers on YouTube, they must exactly what. I was a billionaire because but he he knew even then, he knew my finances and she was like,

like a multimillionaire if not billionaire, and I'm not. I had one little cute house in Highland Park that I busted my butt to buy that was square feet like.

I wasn't rolling in the dough. I had a Mini Cooper like, it wasn't like you know, but people, I feel like people see YouTube celebrities, YouTube stars with a big following and immediately assume that they're famous and rich, you know, and some are, but I feel like even you really have to get to an extreme level though, to get to that point, because like even the brand deals were usually just keeping the lights on and paying the production value absolutely, and furthermore, even not just YouTube

stars but reality TV stars, Like you're seen on people like, oh my god, you're famous and rich, and it's like, you know, you don't know how this works, because it's the complete opposite. I remember when I first went I went back to work right after the show, and people are like, what do you what are you doing here? Why are you working here? I was like, what do you mean? Why am I working here? I need to

pay the bills. They just immediately assume. If they see you on TV or if you have a big following on YouTube or social media, it's like, oh you are You're set for life. But she had millions? Why leave that for me? Maybe she started catching on. It's a lot of unanswered questions. I finally could be a fly on the wall. I feel like, you know, talk to me twenty years from now, and I'll probably have more information.

I guess I'm a little confused too, because throughout this timeline. So, what was the first time he started really showing red flags like this? Yeah, the first indicator that he's not what you think he is. The first indicator was I think when, and I think I knew in my gut is when? Um. I mean I knew from the start that something was not right, but he was just so pretty that I was like, really, like, men got crushes on him more? If I went all my guy friends.

Like when he let me hang out with people in the start, I would just want to like, boy, bru, let's go play basketball, Like they all got a crush on him. He was just extremely good looking and charismatic. And um, I think that when I he the woman

sent those messages. I remember I was doing a branded job for a big TV show and I just shoot that night and I got these emails, you know, come in from this woman named Bunny with all these screenshots of their stuff, and she's like he's lying, don't believe eve him. And then that's when he's like, you know, she's trying to blackmail me. I couldn't let it go because I was actually I booked a job for a big car company, so I was flying to Detroit the next day and I was on deadline to get this

video finished. And I remember milo she was just sitting on the floor crying, and I'm like trying to edit and process everything. And then on the plane ride to Detroit, I just kept obsessing about the messages and I couldn't. Like, even my mom said, you know, let it go. He didn't do it, but I would check her Instagram because

it made sense. Like she looked like someone who Milosh would go after if that even like she was completely opposite from me, like I'm more like sweet girl next door, quirky. She was like like busting and like bub boom, like Jessica Rabbit type. So I understand it's it's believable that he could have had an affair with her. Does that make sense? So about it was about March of that year, I was ready to break it off with him, and

that's when I found out I was pregnant. So I didn't talk to him for five months when I found I was pregnant because you know, I I've always wanted to have a family that I wanted to be on my own terms. And I felt like he kind of tricked me because you know, I wasn't using anything and he's attack then I was listening to him his advice, but um so it was like, you know that was

that was the biggest red flag was her. And then when I finally got to where I sold my house we moved to San Diego, then things started to just not add up where I was like, this doesn't make any sense, but what is he doing all day? Who is he talking to? Like and his mom was just crazy, and when the moment my son was born, they wanted to get my son like Bosnian Serbian citizenship, and then they kept talking about going to Serbia when he was six months old, and I'm like, wait a minute, I

won't have citizenship. We go there, he can stay, the baby can stay, what about me? And so I tried to block it. I emailed like their consulate and whatever, and they weren't cooperative at all. But I put on like his passport, O noticed, so if anyone tried to apply for a passport for my son that I would get notified. So I've done everything to like protect myself.

Like now my son's complete. His name is completely changed because he was born Misha robert A Highlovich because my you know, my fiance at the time insisted that he have a Serbian name, and I never got to pick his name. So the moment I left him, I just started calling it. I just couldn't handle anymore. I started calling him Rex and he loved it. He was just smiling, giggle.

So now it's legally changed. We went went through the process and a judge is like after I presented all the evidence, was like, yep, you have do yep, Okay, like signed off right away about it? Stant the Rex Rex? It is, yeah, but but I mean the every police officer we've talked to says, don't get your son a passport,

don't leave the country. Don't like. Yeah, I'm still terrified, but like you know, for me, I'm like, do I live my whole life and fear No, Like I I talked about in the book, I'm like their safety and numbers, and I feel like it's better for everyone to know what happened to me, and when I'm out in public, know what Rex looks like, what I look like. Then only a few handful of people know what happened to me. So and women like me should not have to be

quiet about this, No, absolutely not. I should always be able to speak up. How did you? I mean, it's your book, I don't You may don't want to give away anything. Well, let's let's see. Let's go there. And I want to know how you escaped. I don't know. I did this finally once and for all, when I finally decided to leave him. That's always the hardest part.

Like you need a plan, especially when you're with someone who's abusive and controlling like you can't because if you've been beat down a lot a lot of times, they can convince you to keep to stay. And you know that about yourself. You're like, if he talks to me for three or four hours, I will probably give in and not leave. So we we basically tricked them. My mom came over for her. She used to antique buying trips, so it was a legitimate reason. I'm like, my mom's coming.

And then I was switching to new management here in l A. I had a meeting about a clothing company that was going to do like I had legitimate meetings. So and my son was still on breast milk. So I was like, you know, I can't leave him, you know there, he has to come with us. So my mom, my son, and I came to l A and I had the first day that I let him back in, so I was trying to fix things he was out

of I didn't tell you guys this. He didn't live with me from my son being four or five days old till he was a month and a half, and he would just come back and scream at me because I basically kicked out his mom because his mom kept calling my child his like my baby. I kept taking it from me, and it was really and wanting to bind his hips, which is like put multiple diapers and

like all the doctor said, no, this is barbaric. And she also wanted to put like a coin around his belly button because he had an Audie like belly button. It's any now, but like all these really strange thing it's and I don't know, it's a European thing. It's it's it's dated. Like they basically put multiple diapers on and they tried to get the hips in a certain position, and I was and every doctor, every pediatrician said don't

do this. So when he finally had come back in the first day that I let him back in because I was I was like, this is the father of my child, and there were some circumstances going on. I need to let him back in and try to fix things. Then he was crazy and screaming at me in the car and we had an altercation and he hyper extended my pinky when I was trying to call nine o one, So my son had split up on me. When I went into the closet, I took my phone and I

snapped a couple of pictures. So our plan was get to l a file a police report about the domestic violence. Even though it had been a month, it took a little bit to get this plan where my mom could come back and what we were going to do. She was on board. She was not like her and my adopted brother Robert were the like the masterminds. So but they said you have to like you have to report

it in the county of the crime. So then I'm in l a like finally leave him, and then I have to go back to San diego back to the apartment and file a police report. And then like his friends kept hanging out outside of our apartment like I kept. I feel like expected like a van just to pull up at any moment and just take us. So I got a temporary restraint order first, and then we had to go through a trial for domestic violence. I'm assuming

there was more domestic violence in the pinky situation. There was. Well, the verbal abuse was like extruciating and and awful. He had to physical altercations. One of them was while I was pregnant. But it was tricky because when I was trying to get away and get to our neighbors, he was on me, and I was trying to push away his face, and he said I hurt his eye, So I thought I had hurt him trying to get away from him, because it's like my eye, my eye, And then he like wore a patch for a while and

had eye drops. But and I gave him like two hundred dollars for the doctor, and I want to go with him, but he won't let me. And my mom drove over and she's like, you guys, cannot let things escalate like this. But then I should have called the police. I think everything happened is it was supposed to happen, though, because now I really I got the restraint wh that I needed, and I had the proof collected, and you know, if I would have you know that you can't go

back in time, You can only go forward. Yeah no, I mean obviously we all wish that never happened to you. But now you do have this book coming out where hopefully a lot of people can read and learn from from a questionary tale again. It is called um I Sucky Love Story Overcoming Unhappily ever After by by Brittany Taylor. Where is He? I'm sorry I have Where is He? Now?

Is he doing this to some other women? You know what, I wasn't going to talk about this and I don't talk about it in the book because I'm trying to protect. But yeah, there's other victims, but I'm not. That's all I want to say, no, because I like, these people are just as much of a victim as I am, and I don't want if it if it was I was in their shoes, like you know, these women don't know all these things about him, and I'm and because of my restraint order, I can't. There's only so much

I can do. My hands are tied. No, I can't, and that's that's awful. But at least with my book I can warn about him and other people like him. But I can't. My hands are tied. And it's been like it happened during my trial that he was involved with someone else and yeah, it's like he already has a kid with that person. Yeah, and you know, and

married to that person. Do you think that's a tactic too? Well, you tell me in the you know three years that you know he in the span of three years, he had been married to one woman, engaged to me and had a child, and married to another woman had a child, and he knew so much about children, Like he knew which sterilizer I should buy, and like what diaper brands were good, some Japanese one when our son had like

a rash, and he just like instantly new things. And part of me wonders, like how many other like half brothers or sisters does my child have? You know, my kid is amazing, Like you know, I'm sure that you know, they're all wonderful, but I mean there's just there's so much that I want to know. Wow, so your kid

will never know his dad hopefully. No. No, no, they made it pretty strict, like they made it like you know, I like got what I wanted out of the court system, thankfully, so they can't lock him up for this, Well there's not. I mean I could have gone after him for fraud. But after you fight a trial for domestic violence, I was already like out a hundred thousand dollars of everything, and like now, like even now my bills because you know, buying court transcripts, even to write the book and all

the like. The expenses never end when you're in a fight to protect yourself and your child, and they never will. But like it's so worth it. Like once you have kids, you'll get it. Like they you know, they would spend every single time you have on them. And like now I don't even want to buy clothes with myself. I'm like, look at the little splendid shirt. That's adorable. Rex needs it, you know, So kids are always worth it, I have to myself. So I, wow, that's such a sad, awful

story you went through that. Don't worry. Like I tried to approach it, like from a sarcastic point of view, and like the good thing is, you know my story hasn't a happy ending, or I wouldn't be here. I think the big red flag, and that's the takeaway I think for listeners because so many people listening to this podcast you're on online dating. Yeah, I think the big red flag and there are so many is isolating you from your friends and family. Oh that's a huge one.

Well that's just a sociopathic trait too, because they don't want they don't want anyone to know, like they don't want anyone to get on like catch onto them, and they can't handle one. People don't like them, and they don't They're very possessive they don't want you, so they're going to isolate you from your own family and friends. And I do think that having kids might be a tactic. So it's like you're down, you can knock you down

and like even furthermore, isolate you from your parents. Kept him around longer, went back more because he was the quote father of my child, and he kept he kept wanting to get me pregnant right away, and I'm like no, I like the doctor says, wait a year because it's not healthy for your body, like you need time to recuperate. And I'm like that that was kind of scaring me. I'm like I just pushed out one. You want another one?

Like come on, like you know in the future. Yeah, they're great, multiply them, but like right at that moment, no, at the moment. But the only thing is you can't say, like, oh, I wish this had never happened to me, because now you have this beautiful child. You know what, I would go through it a hundred times over. Yeah. No, maybe that's true. Like you it's all that cliche like storybook thing, like the moment your child is born, your your heart burst open, and it's true, Like you're like yes, I

would do anything for you. I remember in the hospital the day after he was born, because I did think about a little while about not keeping Racks, because it was just not by choice, and you know, I ultimately made the decision to be a mom, and like even though I I was like, Okay, even if it doesn't work out with me, low, this is still a life. I'm going to keep him. But I had this major guilt in the hospital. I can't believe I thought about

keeping you. You're so cute, and I think you don't even think about like how like he had these when he was born, these super long eyelashes, and he was so chill, and they said, i'll give it twenty four hours, and hours went by and he was still like the most chill baby. And he's still like crazy, but he's just relaxed, like I'll go ah, but he's not like a fussy baby. Gave him a shot and he just grunted like he didn't like he was just from he

was just cool from the start. I'm like, Okay, he's either not really bright or he just has it all figured out, because like in the car seat home, didn't cry one bit, just like whatever. But they can't see and he's just sitting and there like I don't care. It's really nice to hear that something really incredible came from this really sad and horrible story that you had to go through. But like Mark said, you know, yeah, and it'll be good, like he knows that, and I like,

you know the books as much. Like one of my friends just read it and called me crying. She's like, Brittany, this is a love story direct, and I think it is like I want him to know why I did what I did and why his his dad can't be in his life. And I think that what's what a better way than to really lay it out for him and when he's old and ugh, hm, Well, I was reading up on on you a little bit and I

think it was either on Amazon or good Reads. There's a bio about you, and it gave you a little tidbit that I didn't know about you, and it said that one day your dream it's to be on the batchelor. Let me explain. I want to wear I want to wear the really pretty dresses and get like my hair done, and so I have some friends that have worked on it, but I don't know if I want to would want to date, like be around with people dating one person. I mean, I'm not a jealous type. I'd probably just

be like Peace and Leaf. I just wouldn't care, Like I don't think I would get in the heat enough. I'm not aggressive enough. Do you watch I do? I've watched all of them. Yeah, I've watched you. Yeah, I I I love especially Bachelor in Paradise, like I love it. My mom my mom watches it, and that's our favorite.

We die laughing because like the dynamics and everyone's just always really loaded in alcohol and like glazed, and well, the alcohol is the most I would tell you the most overrated thing about the franchise that I've ever heard, because everybody asked about that. Nobody gets drunk except for the one instant that obviously happened two years ago. But Paradise is by far the best show out of the frame.

Even one of the producers he's telling me he's he said, because he tried to relate it to Superhero for for Layman at least, and he said that The Bachelor and the Bachelorette is like people's individual films, and then Bachelor in Paradise is the Avengers where they all come together. I just love how quickly it switches and I like that. I love it when it's in the girl's hands, and how guys are sweating, like I love I love the switch,

like when the power keeps flipping. And then watching people that are like, oh, I'm like all like Manlyn cool? And now does she like me? I don't know, Like I like to watch the cat and mouse at the cocktail party, definitely trying to get a rose. Well before you got on, we'll say way to a little bit lighter subject. We're talking about Lauren Bushnell. Do you remember who Lauren Bushnell was? I'm better with Faith. That is

her on the left show, the one gainst Ben Higgins. Yeah, and so she is dating a country music star now he's Chris Lane. And so Chris Lane was dating another girl from the Bachelor franchise whose name was Lauren Barr. She's on the right. I don't remember her, but yes, yes, long story short, Lauren Barr was dating Chris Lane and then they broke up. I don't know how long they

were dating. But then Lauren bush now started dating this guy, Chris Lane, and before they announced the relationship, she reached out to the other Lauren to say, hey, listen, I'm dating this guy. Just kind of wanted to, you know, make a good feeler. Uh, And we were just talking about the necessity that I wanted to get your two cents.

I think that's just nice. I think I think that's really like, you know, and it's a good way too if the girl has any bad blood and you know kind of like speak now or forever hold your peace, so it might be in her way, like you know, hey, I'm dating this person, Like what do you know? And you never know what she would come back with. It was so funny. I was just on a podcast earlier, earlier and they said, don't dat a musician. They said,

they will always break your heart. This one girl was married to this famous musician and like he got one of the group. He's pregnant and now they're married. He's like, She's like, don't dat a musician. But maybe country music is different. Well, I'm not accusing this guy of anything. He's a very good looking man. Sure he's very nice, but this is his third batch are contestant that he's

been rumored to be with. But they're all their beautiful women, so maybe, like you know, the Bachelor Friends franchisees like hand picking these people and he's like, okay, well I'll have a B and C. You know. I mean like, well he's making himself the Bachelor pretty much. Yeah, good for Chris Lane. Maybe maybe he will be the next Bachelor. And then you called it, and then Lauren will go on. Both Lauren's will go on the show and they'll be the final two and he has to pick one of

the Lauren's. Yep, you needed. You need to be a producer. I know. I've just been on this franchise. I've just been on four seasons, and I know too much. It's terrible. Um, but hopefully just works out with him, Lauren bus because I think that was classy. I think it's really classy. Yeah, oh, you have an idea. I have an email that I think that actually I think that Brittany could really help us with his email. Okay, but I think she could weigh in on this. Okay, if anybody can, she could.

But I'm a female perspective in the room, so which you could use this week. Okay, it's right here. I mean I was kind of excited and then I was like, Okay, I'll be okay with Jared. Fine, you'll be fine, and you'll be fine with me. But it would have been I mean, it's it's almost like it's always anxious, like when you like, I'm not just coming to be silly, I'm like, oh great, I have to talk about like heartbreaking things and make them like and go. But like,

I think it worked out. I think it was great. But I loved having you here. I really I really fascinated by great. We're already friends best and what friends do is give advice. So what's this? I can first tell us about talk Space to well talk Space. Today's show is sponsored by talk Space, and we've been talking about talk Space for quite a while on this podcast. And what talk space is. It's an online therapy company that lets you message a license therapist from anywhere at

any time. All you need is a computer with Internet connection or the talk space mobile app on your phone, And that means you can improve your mental health even if you had trouble making the time for it in your past. I try to stay mentally healthy by going for walks, I work out, um. I I try fasting from social media, staying off at certain times, but sometimes you just need to get something off your chest, and I certainly do a lot of times in my life.

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Basis uh to match a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, all you have to do is go to talk space dot com slash dean and use the code Dean to get forty five dollars off your first month and show your support for this show. Yet again, all you have to do is go to talk space dot com slash Dan d E A N and you get forty five dollars your first month of talk Space. It's always good to get things if your chest.

I do it all the time. Ashley, she's like my personal therapist, so maybe I should do talk space to give her a little break. And then we're also because of the holidays, partnering up with the Grove. It's that time of year again, Holiday season. The best part our house is jam packed with family and we haven't talked about actually coming to the Haybons for thankside that I know Ashley is coming to the Haybands for thanks Christmas. Thanksgiving.

I went to the Conetis which was the house a full household of I connettis uh for Thanksgiving and she will be coming to Rhode Island for a Haban Chris Hayban family Christmas. So it's always fun gone jam packed with the family back for the holidays. The worst part, unfortunately, is the cleaning. Whether it's kids dropping cranberry sauce or your uncle's smelly socks. Nothing cleans our house like Mrs Myers Holiday Cents. Get Mrs Myers exclusive offer from Grove

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at Grove. Do people tell you you remind them of Lauren Graham all the time, especially when I like, sometimes I get you know, adventurous and I die my hair dark brown, and like the like, hey, Gilma Girls, who's the you know the mom on Gilmore Girls? Not not Rory but Laurel. Yeah, I didn't watch Girl, No parenthood, I got nothing At the moment I leave, you'll look on your phone Lauren Graham. And also your name is Brittany Louise Taylor. My initials are BALT. I'm just gonna ask.

My dad was so funny. I had like a huge crush on this guy in high school and he would always come to the football games, and my dad would like, Balt, you want some nachos, like yelling over the time, shut up. Yeah, I get it, so I mean and now I kind of like it. I mean, it's it's a good you know. And and I was vegan for a while, so everyone would tease me like, you know, your in you do you eat bacon? So it's fun? I love it. Here's the email from anonymous. Those are always the best ones.

I'm twenty five and I've been single since my college boyfriend cheated on me. I've been doing the app scene and I've had a five month relationship, which ended when the guy told me he didn't feel the same way two weeks after asking me to be his girlfriend. Recently, I was watching a football game and the guy struck up a conversation. He asked me out, but I haven't heard from him now. A lot of your advice on this podcast, centiders, I'm putting yourself out there and being president.

In the moment where I texted him, he then made it clear that he only wanted to hook up. I've told this story to men and women. They all have the same reaction. Well, what did you expect. The guy who comes up to you like that is a player? My question is what gives is that true? Am I only going to meet cocky douche bags in real life? Should I stick to the apps? Or if there are good guys willing to ask a girl out in person,

where do I look for them? Please? Help? I suck at dating so much and I'm tired of being the only single one of my friend group. I think you can tell, like online dating is good because you can tell people's motives really quickly. Usually like you know, they're very much like hey, what are you doing later? What are you wearing? Or like they'll make some like oh you have nice lips, and you're like, oh, come on,

like you know right away what they're going for. So I don't I think online dating is not bad, but like maybe she should try like Bumble or some of the like you know, clap sometimes. I'm a big fan of Hinge, like I've ever heard. Hinge is an online dating app that I used, uh many years ago, but I really enjoyed it. It It was a lot of young professionals that I've found. But Bumble is pretty cool too

because it lets the female go first. But it's also weird because that men like that power dynamic and it's kind of strange when women are doing the pursuit, you know what I mean. Like, I've noticed a lot in my like, you know, guys like to text first. I like to, so I've noticed it's very like it's like sometimes that they lose interest, I feel like, but I feel like maybe the guys have wrong motives, so maybe it's best if a girl just Texas first. Anyway, Yeah,

I've been married since before. I would want to be on bumble because I would like knowing there's at least some interrift on the part other than an absent minded swipe right, some interest on her part that she thought enough of me to text me. I'd be like, that would be encouraging for you. And it seems more like people are looking for a relationship on bumble. But it's

so weird. When I was on Tender and I met my ex Milosh, there wasn't really anything else, so like everyone was on Tender, Like I'd be in l A and I'd like, go on a casting I'm like, oh, there's the casting director. Like everyone was on Tinder, and it's changed now there is more options. So I think you figure out what fits your personality best and what you want and like, you know, if you want cleaner people,

then trying a little bit cleaner sights. Yeah, it's almost like there's a stigma now for people who are on Tinder, which I don't agree with. And depending on states to like, depending on what state you're in, can be like purely, like like, oh my god, if Arizona, it's purely a hook up app here though, how that friends? Like that's pure it's purely a hook up app. Like for the most part, I don't like but look, any app you

go on can be like a hook up app. But I'm saying, you know, and if I was in l A though, I don't know if that's still the cases. I've been out of this scene for like three years. I have no idea of tenders now, just I don't know. I know it's like it wasn't it wasn't one I because I've actually made a lot of friends that I went to church with and whatever, Like I have made friends off the Tinder I did. I'm serious because like

we would go and hang out. I had one friend that I like met and we realized we had no chemistry, but then we became like best friends. You go hiking all the time, you go to church together. He would talk about girls with me, Like is that like your opening line on Tinder? Like, Hey, it's nice to meet you. Would you like to go to church? No, he asked me. But I was, you know, I hadn't been in a while.

I was like okay, cool, And I thought that was like a fun, neutral, safe public place if we're talking about safety. Yeah, we hung out. We went to Mosaic here in l A and hung out and then like from then, like we went hiking and whatnot and we're still friends to this day. Was it awkward at all? No, it was weird because we just right from the start, We're like no, you know, no, there's no interest, there was no spark. We just and I've always become one

of the guys. I'm the one that you bring along into hell everyone like, I'm the one that like is with the group of fifteen men at Halloween horrornites. So that was always me because I just get along with guys. So it was pretty natural that end up making a lot of guy friends off a Tinder. I think for Anonymous over here, I don't think she's doing anything wrong, Like I think it's just life. Yeah, it's just life.

It's just the way it goes. Like, sure, there's gonna be a guy a football game who's a doucheag, and there's probably be another guy in football game who's really nice. So it's it's so don't give up on the app. Have a better filter. But I was talking about this

with a friend recently too, and it's good. Like, you know, if you let people know that you're single and you have friends that you trust, like they usually a lot of times have good taste and will be like, oh, my friend, you might be perfect for them, or like, you know, hang out in social circles of people that you really like, because usually they're going to hang around with, you know, other good people or other people that are

like your personality. Oh. I think that's the best way to start dating in this world is being set up? Reading bunching, gut set up? Did they mutual friend? Everything comes back to town? I'm reading with you. But it's such a good story, isn't it. Like the couple in the world got set up by a friend. Literally a friend was like, Hey, Tom, you should meet my friend Giselle because you guys have a lot in common because

probably happen a lot. Yeah, I honestly, uh and so so outside the apps if she wants to meet somebody, I r L. You're saying, a friend is probably the best way to go, right and just you know, and you just you, I think you the dating is going to be awful it's not. And like sometimes you meet the love of your life when you're five and they're your next door neighbor, and other times you're like me

and you're thirty five and still wondering. But like, you know, I now have my kid, and I I found so much peace and just like like pursuing my career, I'm I'm not pushing it, Like you can't put yourself on a timeline and be like by thirty two, I'm gonna be married and have kids. Like you have to be open that not everything works textbook or how you want it to. And I think she just needs to take

the pressure off. And if she's the one single pringle at the parties, cool, she gets to go home at night and watch what she wants on Netflix, you know what I mean. So there's some person being single till someone good comes along. At what point do you tell someone that you have a son? All right away? I'm I'm the one with my phone out, Like, look, how cute my kid is, Like he's my lock screen, Like I'm obsessed with him, and he's just he's hysterical, like

he um, I just got him. Was so funny. It's a who lets the dog out car at the thrift store. I don't know why he was obsessed with it, but the first thing he does when he wakes up he goes cool car, cool car, Like, where's my cool car? And it's just so cute. He's this tiny little body is looking for this massive like fake escalade so we can play like the song who Lets a Dog Out on It? Yeah? Are you currently dating now? No? No, let me just tell you why my picking meter is off.

I had. I was back in Sedona and I ran into a friend from high school that used to be on tense team with and when I was in high school, it's like this tiny little thing we were friends. Now he's like six ft two and gorgeous, and he asked me out on a date. Right Well, during my trial, I was like, okay, well, what would it hurt to go to dinner from? Like you know, I was telling myself this, what would it hurt to go to dinner

with a friend? And then I had to go because I was getting threatening text messages during my trial trying to lure me out, like with fake auditions, so I'd go. It's so complicated. I can't say who it was from. But like I because I had been on a one national commercial I was a flight attenant. So then they're like, oh, it's W and me at whatever and it's for Delta and we want you to be a flight attenant on its commercial right. So my agents checked out it wasn't

legit at all. And it was during my trial and they kept trying to get me to come to l A for auditions and it was all Google voipe accounts there. I multiple that I have a lot of this. Yeah, that's crazy. So I had to go file police reports. And when I was at the police station, the police officer was like, oh, a lot of kids are still in town, and so we were working on the police force and he's I said, oh, well, do you know such and such goes such and such, such and such

like the first and last name. I said, yeah, he goes why And I said, oh, I'm just to go out with him tonight. He goes only because I know your situation. He says, we arrest him all the time for meth and then and then I googled him and he just on time for aggravated assault for a d U. I the wonders, don't you. I have horrible taste in dating.

So I've realized that I just and like, you know, I when you get burned as bad as I got burned, I'm kind of just really comfortable just waiting and healing and kind of getting the message of what happened to me out there and just not rushing it. Of course. I think that's what I learned, is that I talked myself into the relationship because he was he checked all the boxes on paper, and I mean everyone has those things.

I was like, Oh, has a job check funny check like you know, like you know, likes to go do this, or check like likes the same TV shows. I don't know, Like he checked all the boxes of what I would want in a partner in the future, and I talked myself into it. So never again. So looking back at this relationship, you talk about how people do crazy stuff when you're in love. Do you think you're in love

with him? In love like that? And that's you know, you know, it's funny though I had never been in love before him, so I was like, after I left, I was like, what's wrong with me that I would fall in love with someone like that? But at least I knew I was capable of it because I had never been in love before then, and I had relationships, and I thought something was wrong with me. I thought, why am I always just annoyed by who I'm with? It?

I never like because they always get so needy because I'm very independent and I'm always kind of like doing my own thing, and I'm like, you know, they want to go hang out with their friends. I'm like cool, bye, and I like, go to my thing and I'm not texting them and like what's she doing? Like they always get really so it always I was always annoyed in their relationship and so it was weird, like the first

time to be like in love. But he was so different than anything I had dated before, Like he you know, was educated and worldly and had been places I hadn't been, and we could just talk for hours, and I think that, you know, I thought, I thought he was this really good person and I you know, the mirage I fell for, Wow, Well it is a compelling story and everybody can pick

up books tomorrow right comes up? Yeah, great of these things and you know, you know what, I would donate as much proceeds as I could to causes, like I never wanted to do this for money. It was I literally couldn't take the liability and make a video that it, which is all I wanted was just to make a video and talk about it. So I started writing and it turned into a book, and you know, so I think it was how it was supposed to be because I couldn't have This video would have been like a

week long, and I probably wouldn't have touched everything. Well, before you start donating, make sure you pay off your court fees, because oh yeah, I've already worked through a lot of that, Like thankful, I've had some branded stuff that I've been able to pay down the debt and be careful and yeah, well, we certainly wish you the best of luck, and we do. We hope it sells a million copies and you get to donate as much charity is incredible. Yes, it would be yet again, guys,

you can pick up at bookstores tomorrow. A Sucky love Story Overcoming Unhappily ever After by Brittany Louise Taylor. Brittany, thank you so much for coming. We really appreciate and and being so open and honest with your story. I know it's not easy. No, thank you so much. Fun you guys are both cool. Thank you, Brittany. Weive Taylor is the YouTube channel to it is and it's really long.

I didn't even think about Like Brittany, Louise Taylor is a lot to type, and like Brittany with an eye like you don't always get it right on the first try. Brittany with a lot of Brittany's with an eye. It's true. That's a good thing. Yeah, I made I made my mark in my own way. Well. Big thank you to Amazon Fire once again. You can head to Amazon dot com slash I Suck podcast to order a Fire TV of your very own. Thank you again to Ritual. You can visit ritual dot com slash dan d e a

N to start your ritual today. Big thank you to talk Space guys. Use the code Dean yet again d e a N to get forty five dollars off your first month of talk Space if you want to get something off your chest. And a big thank you to the Grove Collaborative. Check out Grove and our special offer at Grove dot c o slash Dean remember not dot com dot co slash Dan d e a N for that exclusive offer. Brittany, thank you so much. Vanessa thank you for joining us earlier in this show. Hopefully she's

feeling better after that travel experience. Mark Easton, You guys are incredible guys. Check out the Facebook group help I Suck At Dating podcast Facebook group we talk on I read that stuff all the time, all the questions on there. Uh, it's like a big community, big friend group. It's really incredible. Everybody gives each other advice. So you can follow us also on Instagram at up by Second Dating and definitely check us out. Next week we'll have an all new

episode where hopefully we'll suck a little less. Follow help by Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast