Sucky Daters Tipline!

callers this week. I'm very excited about it. I think Ashley is gonna come in here for a second if she has some time to help me out with some of our callers. Our first caller this evening this day is Christie Christie. Are you there? Hey? Yeah, how are you? I'm good, Christie? How are you? Welcome to the podcast? Hi? Thank you? I mean I'm doing okay? Yeah. I guess if you're calling into this podcast, you're probably not doing that well. So at least in the dating sphere, what

can we do for you? Yes? So? Um So it's one of those questions I feel like probably everybody has or goes through at some point when you're dating. Um, Because like I've been seeing this guy for a month and a half now, and like I'm super into him and like I believe that he's like really into me too, but we haven't had that talk yet about being exclusive or not, like and I'm at that point where I'm like, yes, like I'm ready to settle down like I would I

would love to be exclusive with this guy. But like I just found out the other day that he matched with my friend on hinge and that like really bummed me out because it's like, you know, is he still super active on the apps or like the fact that he's active at all, Like I don't know, maybe he's not asn'to me as I am to him. And like again, I'm just I'm like ready for a relationship. I've been like you know, casually dating for a while now, but it's like, uh, and I don't know, he's great, So

like what do you think I should do? Like is it too early a month and a happen to have that talk? Hell no, oh my god, no a month and a half in how many dates have you guys going on? Um? Well, like in person, we've probably seen each other like two to three times or even like four times a week now, like once it got started, and like we talk all the time, you know, So you're telling me that, you say you on the low side, you guys have seen each other four times a week.

You've been dating for a month and a half, which is six weeks, and if my math is correct, that would be twenty four times that you guys have seen each other, which means it is so not early to talk exclusivity. So my wife is here, she's gonna help me answer some of these questions. So this is Christie. Christie has been seeing a guy for a month and a half and she wants to have the exclusivity talk. She thinks is it too early? Apparently he's still on

dating apps and just friended, just like matched with her friend. Oh, six weeks is definitely not too early. I would say you can honestly have the exclusivity talk after like six inch day. I don't think it's really at all. No, I think it's him beyond dating apps. He may not actually be actively using them. He just matched with her friend on a dating app, so he's active. Well that's well,

then I think you just have to call that action out. Yeah, call him out, call that out, and then see how your responds and then you can play the exclusivity talk from there. Yeah. I hope your friend's name is Becky, so you could be excuse me, but who is Becky with the good hair Sharon's glory? I mean that's great advice. Yeah, I just call him out, and I guess it'll really

tell me his character. And yeah, I mean this guy you've been dating for a month a half, so it's not like you're losing a relationship of four years, Like how much you really like him? Does you really like him? Yeah? But also if if he's showcasing these red flags, he's definitely not someone that you want to be with if he's not willing to start settling down with you or be an exclusive relationship with you. Wow. Yeah, so you're saying it's a red flag, like a big in how

do we feel about that? Yeah? Big red flag, like you know the size of the flags that they bring on before an NFL game where it's like the hundred people are holding in they run across the field and it's during the national anthem. It's like that size red Okay, Well I could just put a little devil's advocate here for a second. What if he met she just matched with him, and he was on it like a month ago, and this is just a recent match because she just

came across his profile. Maybe she should message him. Maybe you should. Maybe that's what that There you go, that's how you do this. See just have her say hi and see what he says back. If you still talk class, if he's still down to message somebody on a dating app, then he may not be into it enough to be exclusive. Yeah, but then you'll know his true intentions and that will make you feel good. Clarity, that's what we need here. Yeah, yeah, great,

I love it. I'm going to see if my friend will message him and then call him out and just have it, have that conversation. I love this. Can you please call back. I want to hear what happened when you message him. Yes, I will let you know if the big red flag is a big red flag or maybe maybe you know sounds good? Thank you? Hold that by, Thank you all right. Next up on the podcast is Bobby. Bobby, how you doing Buddy? I'm good, How are you doing well?

Thanks for calling in the podcast. How can we help UM, so, I don't know, probably something you've heard before, but I've been sort of hooking up with someone and it's just like friends with benefits. But now I guess I'm catching feelings and I don't. It's been going on for like four months. We like cook up every weekend, and we agreed we're just doing you know, we're just friends with benefits and that's it. But now I'm feeling things and I'm wondering if this if there's potential or because it

started off this way, there's none. And I don't know what are some signs you're getting from her like anything. I mean, she's willing to hook up with you every week so from my perspective, I think she's she's attracted to you, so there's a good foundation there. You guys seem to be friendly enough to hang out every weekend. I'm not feeling bad for you. I'm feeling like this could be something. Yeah, yeah, it's like delicate. I don't wanna.

I guess if we can't be more than I don't want to mess up what we have and she seems to be you know, we have a good time. We laugh. It seems like after we're like done sometimes she stays like gradually more and more, she like hang out a little bit after for longer and and like we were watching we watched TV for second. She was like, oh, I gotta go. And I was like, oh, you can like chill and hang out and watch TV. Marcis no,

no, no no, I gotta go. So I don't I don't know if she had to go or if she was like, no, no TV watching or something. Um, I think that you should just make your intentions clear because listen, it's only gonna get worse if you're starting to develop feelings in you. Guys are hanging up more and hooking up more, and she's staying longer. I feel like those feelings are only

gonna grow. So I feel like the best thing for you would be to make it known to this person that you don't want to just hook up anymore, you really want to start a relationship. This has happened before with me, uh in my personal life where before marriage, like we had similar situations and it always happens this way. You start off and you have that conversation, oh, we're just gonna hook up. You know, we don't see each other in a relationship, but we really attracted to each other.

With both single, I both want to have fun and it always leads to one person developing feelings, and it seems like that's happening to you, Bobby. So my biggest advice would be to let them know exactly how you feel and that you just don't want to hook up anymore, that you actually want to start a relationship. That would be the biggest piece of advice because this person can't read your mind. So, like you said, you don't want to ruin a good thing, but at the same time,

it's only gonna get harder and harder. So I feel like the biggest thing for you would be to let it know now before it gets even worse for you. But how do you feel, Jared, do you think that I think that there's like a thing I think that he has no there could be a ministry if she's hanging out and it's not like you know, wham bam, thank you ma'am, and you know absolutely it could potentially

turn into something. But you have to make that know and she can't read your mind, and you know it's it's only going to get Your feelings are only going to grow, alright. Our last caller is Ethan, one of my favorite names. Ethan. Hey, Ethan, how you doing good? Good? Good? How are you good? Thanks for joining us on the podcast of one of my favorite names ever. And uh, definitely a contender if we have a second kid, A

big contender for her name, all right, I mean for me? Yeah, you guys, So what can what can we do for you body? What's up? Well? You know, I'm hoping you guys can help me out. A girl I've been talking to for a couple of weeks texted me the other day to say that she isn't a good person to date because she's boring and that I can find someone

better than her. Um, you know, I told her that I don't think she's boring, that I want to pursue things with her, and you know, then as we like talk about it a little bit, she tells me that her her last ex cheated on her and she thinks that he cheated because she was boring. Um, you know, I thought everything was going good right before this. But you know, I'm not sure what to do because like if she truly thinks she's a boring person and she's pushing me away, like that sucks. But like you know.

I don't know. I just don't know if it's an excuse her, if she's doing this because of her her past and doesn't want to get hurt again. You know, So I guess I guess that's where I'm at all Right, even I'm gonna do something that they did to Miranda in one sex in the City episode and she appreciated it, even though it's hard to hear. My personal take is she's just not that into you, dared. Um, Yeah, I mean that definitely could be it. Um. Yeah, I would say I would try to make her feel that she's

not boring at all and reassure her. But if she continues to go down this road of you're too good for me or I'm too boring, you can find someone better, then yeah, she either has some things that she has to deal with her on our own with commitment or relationships, or she's just not that into you, both of which you probably shouldn't pursue a relationship with this person as of right now. Um, But if you like her, of course, try to assure and say, hey, listen, no, I really

like being with you, I want to be with you. Yeah, I don't find you boring. At all. We have such great conversation and really reassure her in the multitude of ways. But if if it gets to a point of exhaustion, when you're like, I mean, there's only so many ways I can reassure her that she's not boring, then of course it comes to a boiling point where you have to figure out if you actually want to pursue a relationship with this person, even though it's clear that maybe

she has something going on. Did you find this out? Did she start this conversation by you asking her out again? No? No, no, no, it was like we were hanging out already. Uh, in the middle. It was kind of like in the middle of a date, sort of out of the blue. Yeah, well no, I mean she texted me about it initially when we were like just exchanging text and then I like called her to follow up on it, you know, to get more details, because I was like, whoa, you know,

I was really surprised. I feeling like it came out of like left field there, it wasn't. I don't know. Yeah, you know, if if like her ex like resurfaced or something and and like made her feel bad about it, or she found something from him, and and like it reminded her that he thought she was you know, that he cheated on her and all that. So I don't know, it's tough because it's not that I necessarily don't believe this person. I do believe someone when they think that, like, oh,

you're too good for me. But at the same time, when you're in a relationship, don't you want somebody that you strive to be with. You know it's you don't You don't want to sit on a relationship. So if you find someone who you truly think, hey, listen, I think you are quote unquote too good for me, then

you're gonna say, oh, well, I'm I want to pursue you. Then, because this is a relationship I want to be with because I want to be with someone who can really challenge me and who quote unquote I do think is better than me. Like I think Ashley is better than me cents, But I still married her. Yeah, I mean, I guess that's the thing. Like until she told me she thought she was boring us, she was really great and I wanted to pursue her. And she made me

excited to you know, to be with her. Um and and too and and I felt like it was going to make me a better person in the process, and so I don't know. I was worried it was an excuse and it kind of sounds like that's where people are leaning. But I'll give it a try and see

if I can turn it around. Still, Yeah, I've give it a try, and if it gets too much, then of course that's when you can start saying, hey, listen, you know I tried to let you know exactly how I feel and reassure you, but it's obviously not working, and so there's obviously something more going on here. But Ethan, thank you so much for calling the podcast, but he really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks, guys, have a great day.

Thanks you too, and now we'll do it. For this week's episode, call her episode of help I Suck a Dating. We do love your calls. Please call us. You can email us at I Suck a Data at IHR media dot com, or you can d m us on Instagram if you ever want to call in if you have questions, we'd love to hear from you. We always love hearing

from you. We really appreciate it because of course follow on Instagram all that good stuff, uh make sure you listened to this past week's episode with Dean and Kaylin, because it was pretty awesome hearing Kaylin's side of the story from the engagement that Dean finally proposed, and Kaylin even gives a little um taste of some of the things that she has planned when she proposes to Dean

and a timetable for that. So make sure you listen to this past week's episode and make sure you tune in next week where hopefully we all suck just a little less. Follow hell by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast