Sucking After Dark

I haven't had any glasses of wine. I'm basically here to keep this episode on the rails. Yeah, Brooks keeps us rounded, you know. But unless we wanted to spice up the show a back right, I never would have used the words that Amy just used. But here we are. Apparently we're drunk. So for this week's episode, we've got Tassia, We've got Brooks and myself Tory of course, as always

reading the questions for us. We're gonna start off with some as we kind of had a couple of weeks ago with the just listener questions about what's going on with dating? And I feel like now that tastes a little bit looser, a little bit more fluid, a little bit more willing to just go for the gold. She might give us a better advice. Yes, of course. Okay, and Brooks to the stage. The y stage of all is Brooks, and he's going to be here to help

answer some of these questions as well. We're gonna start off with some, um, some listener questions and we're gonna move into a little bit more Uh how can I say this, Uh, provocative, raunchier questions. I don't nothing bad. We don't have to drop him personal experience, but just like things that our listeners have asked that are a little bit more X rated, if you will, I feel like my voice is a little deeper at night. I'm

going to say listening to these sounds pretty good. So actually, while our friends not too long ago, we're recording a couple of their podcasts. They host Playing Around on I Heart Radio. They also host How Men Think. Brooks is one of the co hosts on that one, and uh, they were recording those. We were asking each other questions in the opposite room through this card game. It was fun. It was a little deeper than I expected. It to be, but some of the questions they were interesting. So we're

gonna kind of play the same card game. Actually, in all honesty, like I wish there was a microphone in that room because some of the things Tastia said, Man, it was weird. There's a lot to me that you all don't know. It's called table topics original And like I said, some of these questions, man, they're weird and they're they're like, it doesn't help you get to know anyone better. Some of them are like, what's your favorite virgin DAKRII from your favorite bar in town? It's like, well,

who cares? But we I got a couple picked out that I kind of enjoy and I think, actually this first one that I have for Tassia and Brooks, because I don't really know Brooks that well. But you're answering them too, by the way, you're a no, no, no, of course, absolutely, but uh, Tasia, this one is directed at you. But I'm actually more interested in in Brooks's response because I just don't know him as well. The question is what do you most admire about your parents?

I think perseverance. I think my parents they've met each other in high school, and they have gone through a lot of hard times, but they're still together. And I can't say that about a lot of other relationships that I've witnessed. Um, and I know that their struggles, so the fact that they're still together, it's it's a huge accomplishment.

So yeah, I would echo that for mine. My parents have celebrated their forty wedding anniversary this summer, and I think that's just so cool when I look at mom and dad, like, I just think of them as a unit, their mom and dad, and um, that's as a as a child, that's so cool that whenever I see them, I get to see both of them, whereas a lot of people will only get to see their father or their mother their parents are divorced. Uh, that would be probably the thing. And then also, um, I had one

other thought, what was it? Um? Oh, something I heard a long time ago that really resonated with me about relationships is you have people that have complementary skills with similar values. Is how long term relationships last. And you can have different things, but complementary skills with similar values. So my mom is really good at this, my dad is really good at this, but they have the value of family and love and home life and stuff. So I agree with that my mom is much My mom

was supposed to be a nun. Yeah, my mom went to high school with nuns as teachers, and she wanted to be a nun. And then she came to the States and she met my dad, and my dad corrupted her in a good way. But no, my parents have been together for thirty two years. So yeah, I often wonder.

Actually we talked about this a little bit on the podcast before if why my like cynicism towards mayor Ridge comes from the fact that, like I look at you too, right Brooks, I don't know that your parents are still married happily to this day, and Tasia, obviously your your parents are still going strong too. It's like, I wonder if that instills it must like instills values and both of you to like want to uh like that moving forward in your own relationship. Yeah, for me, it does,

for sure. It's it instills hope. It gives you you literally see in front of your eyes a marriage and to a partnership and people committing to each other, like it has to affect you, uh. And I can't speak on the other side on divorce. But because I haven't had parents obviously that have been divorced. But that has to have an effect on your psyche and your approach to a relationship, even at a like a minor subconscious

level or something. Um, there has to be something that's that's affects kids, depending on your age when that happens, especially if it's a kid at a developmental age ten, twelve, I mean fourteen, I mean every age is development Let me ask you this hypothetical or not. Let's say you meet a partner that has maybe experienced trauma in some sort in their life. Uh, and they don't have necessarily the same familial background that you've experienced yourself. Is that

a red flag for you? Or is that the thing that you're able to like consider and work through. Yeah, my wife's parents were divorced, so yeah, do you know if it was a mess you'vorce. I know the details of it, but I'm not going to divulge that. Yeah, it's very fair. Well me, I can tell you that my parents are happily married and I'm divorced, so I think that. Yeah, I felt a lot of pressure to

make sure that my marriage worked. But also at the same time, Um, I made sure to do everything I needed to do in order to know that I did everything I could at the end of the day. So um yeah, it definitely was scary to tell my parents, like, yeah, it's just not working out. And do you know, I think I was telling you this a little bit earlier. Before my divorce, I really wasn't open with my parents about like every single thing that was going on in

my relationships slash me in general. But because of my divorce, I opened up a lot more, and like they are now my closest friends in a way, because there's still my parents and I really respect them. But um yeah, I think the fact that they are still married does kind of put like a pressure on you in a way because you want to make sure that that's the

same for you right well. And part of the reasons that I even bring up the question is because, like I said, from someone from like me who, uh, my family kind of broke up when I was team my mom passed away, uh, and my parents have really liked each other when I was a kid anyway, So it was like growing up in a family that I didn't really want to be together, but that was together because they felt like they had an obligation to be which I admire that sense where it's like, yeah, we have

an obligation to our child to raise him up in a family other than separate, right, Like that's that's an

admirable thing. Um. And then seeing a lot of my friends, I don't know, maybe it's the water in Colorado, but a lot of people in Colorado seemed to get divorced, and a lot of my friends like they've gone, like they've had like split times between their parents, They've had to decide between where do they have to spend Christmas, and like their their husbands are trying to like uh, extract as much as they can from the wives and

vice versa, like all these things. And so I think that for whatever reason, I'm like a magnet to like these bad aspects and attributes of marriages. And I think that's part of the reason why I'm so for whatever reason, anti like marriage as an institution, you know what I mean. I don't really don't think you're anti marriage. Why do

you say that? Because they think deep down you really want it, And I think deep down you would love to have a family and a stable relationship, but you're scared and I don't want to get to But I'm just saying, like I know that there are experiences that can like kind of hinder those things. But I really think deep down, like you a family, and you want something solid, you want a foundation, you want something to

build on. My big experience about having a lot of stuff is it's like, let's say established a family, right, Let's say I've got a wonderful wife, I've got three great kids. One day I wake up and I'm like, I don't want this anymore when I travel, So what do you do from there? Dean? That means you make a conscious decision to like, you know what you tell your wife, Hey, I need to break for a second. I'm going to go travel to you seventy for three days. I just need a little bit of time for myself.

It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with me. But like I love you, and like, let me just go do my thing. And she will support that if you are honest and open, you talk about it, and you do you and you come back and you're just like cool. But the fact that like, if you need that outlet, then that should be a thing that's established in your marriage. Marriage is like it's a swing dance. It's like a thing. It's you compromise.

It doesn't need to be this picture that everyone thinks it needs to be, like an to be perfect. Everything every day is like this, that, this that, like hell no, excuse my language, it's the one, but um no, it's a compromise. Like, you need to figure out what works for you. You You need to figure out what works for your wife. Like what if your wife likes to do like girls day every two weeks? You know what I mean? Like,

you need to figure out what works best for you. Guys, I will say the relationships that I see, uh now that I am an adult, it's weird to say that, but I am an adult right twenty years old. The relationships that I see among my peers, you know, the friends that I've made throughout life that seeing the most successful, in my opinion, are the ones that allow themselves to have space from each other, the ones that allow themselves to have friendships with other people. And like, I'm going

to go have a girl's weekend over here. Okay, well I'm gonna go to the guy's house for the football game. Um, and that's something that I don't think we give enough credit to and something that you don't really see. I think even in our our our parental relationships, where it's like, you know, you've kind of gotten to this point where you just see your your mom and your dad as a cohesive unit, but you don't necessarily see the work that they put it on on the back end of it,

you know what I mean. I think that's one thing that I've realized from my divorce. Actually, if there's one thing I've grown from is the fact that, like I know that each person needs their own time. I think at a young age, you always want to be around your significant other, you know what I mean. And I feel like that's one thing that I learned. You know, Yeah, you guys are crushing it. Um, You're still an individual, Like,

you're still your own person. You're going to grow and challenge and change in your own way, So you need your space to do that, um, and a partner should support that, they should want that for you. And I think it's I also think that one person can't give you everything in the world, right, Like you have to have different friendships, you have to have different energies, you have to be around different people. One person is not going to be your be all everything, your love or

your confidence you're housing to your best friend. You're like, they're not going to be everything. You still need other parts of the world. Doesn't mean they aren't your world, but you still need other parts of the world. I love that. I agree, and I think, like you said, it doesn't take just one person to give you that. All right, one more question before we move on to the next segment, which is going to get a little

bit more spicy. Yeah, we're gonna get spicy. But before we do that, Uh, which is more important to you guys separately? Intelligence or common sense? So book smarts or street smarts, street smarts street smarts. I'm gonna say street smarts too, I think, but I hate being unanimous on that one. So why do you say street smarts both of you, guys? I mean it's I think it's I think it's just life intelligence. So intelligence, you could know a lot about one subject, you can know a lot

about like computers or whatever. But can you be a good person? Are you kind to people? Can you be compassionate? Do you have any sort of life skills that are greater than this sort of like niche thing that you are involved in. So I appreciate, man, I appreciate intelligence. I have a huge appreciation for it. But um, if people had street smarts and life skills, I think the world would be a better place. I completely agree with that. I'm not marrying you because I don't know you have

a degree. I'm marrying you because I don't know you know how to navigate through life. I will say one of my favorite things about Kalin is she is very book smart. But when she suspects that she might be wrong about something, her ability to grasp her her uh misinformation and then change her mind and like and figure something out really quickly, it's so impressive to me. And that's not that isn't that's not book smarts, right, that's

like that street sense in my opinion. Uh And I didn't realize that until I just said that right now. But like, that's something I really admire about her, as her ability to kind of like figure something out on the on the on a whim like that. So I agree with you, guys, And I hate the fact that we all unitally agree that street smarts is more admirable, but I guess that's just how it is. All right, We're gonna take a quick break. But before we do that,

I'm not going to do anything. I don't know why I said that. We're going to take a quick break. We're gonna come back, but we're gonna have a little bit of wine, That's why you said it. And we're gonna have some tories, gonna ask some raunchy questions for us. I'm excited for this because you know what I'm can we not say raunchy? I'm and even saying the word raunchy is Yeah, it's like a lot of challenge. I feel like we're about to do like a burlesque show.

And the funny thing is, it's like the three of us like as as good a friends as we've become to be. Like, we don't know the sexual history at all, And I'm not saying we're going to dive into sexual history, but like maybe we are. So stay tuned and see what happens next. All right, and we are back here with Brooks like and Tasia Adams, uh, and we're gonna answer some questions that Tori has prepared for us. It's

gonna get a little weird. Uh, We're gonna get a little bit to take everyone as uncomfortable as no. But I'm going to s us off easy. Alright, ready, Okay, my boyfriend won't put me on any of his social media postings. Does this mean we are not a real couple? Interesting? Right off the battle. I'm going to tackle this one first, just because I feel like it's the most applicable for me. I think the guy's input is coming first. Yes, it's it's I'm going to bring myself back three years because

that's really the only reason. That's the only way I can answer this question right, because it's like, I don't care anymore. I have a girlfriend whatever. Uh And coming off a television show, when you have a girlfriend, you're like fully invest in that relationship. But three years ago, Dean, before he ever had ever went on television to anyone, he was doing his best to conceal every relationship he had until he was dead set certain in the relationship

that he wanted most. That's the one that he's gonna post. It's gonna take him a while to figure it out. It's not good for anyone, Like, it's not good for him, it's not good for the girls that are involved. The fact of the matter is it's like he's basically sizing up your relationship every night every time he posts. The next post might be a relationship post. But if it's not, it's because he's sizing up whether or not it's worth posting about, because he needs to figure out if he

wants to continue on in the relationship or not. That's really what it is. If the relationships you mean the relationship post, that's like the relationship post is the new age, like will you be my girlfriend? The second you post a picture with your girlfriend, that's like you basically announcing to the world I have a girlfriend. So what do you guys think? I don't know. I think it's I think it could be either or. I mean, you're entitled

to run your own feed however you want. You know that doesn't that should not play any sort of um, should not have any circumstance on your relationship because you do or don't post. That's the logical answer, But what's the reasonable answer, Because here's the thing. It's like, I know married couples. I know married couples that don't post about each other. They like you. It's also, you could

run your Instagram as a business like people people. Actually that's a new job is having an Instagram can is your job? You can run that as a business. Now, a lot of people don't do business with their significant others. Like, if you own a business a brick and mortar sword, your wife doesn't have to work there. It's a modern business Instagram, you don't have to have your significant other honor.

But let's say, like for most people that are listening to this that don't have a business Instagram, well, maybe it's just because I've been hanging around all the bats or folks. So you guys execute exceptionally and I'm trying to take some hands. You're right, it's always it's so it's always personal preference. I think that there are people that post way too soon. There are people that post away too late. If there was a spectrum, I would

be more on the too late side. I remember specifically, um, it's too late. Though years ago I was I was

exclusive with my girlfriend. We had been dating for so long, not so long, a couple of months, right, But I remember posting a photo of us like celebrating some victory or whatever it was, and I remember we I posted it while I was with her, and she got like so many from your friends like, well, I can't believe Dean posted a picture of you, guys, like, I'm so happy for you, Like, I'm so proud of you, know that kind of stuff. I'm saying that that is it's

a big tell in the relationship. It's like a big step that's might be a bigger step than it used to be. Of course, would you guys disagree? Brooks does, obviously, Tasha well as her phone lights up with a new Instagram notification. No, no, I feel like, um, okay, So, say you're not dating anyone. People typically are texting a couple of people, Is that right? So say you start you want to date with someone and you start liking them,

but you're still like kind of texting other people. So posting that photo means that those people that you are texting is well aware of that, the fact that you are actually more serious about someone. So um, that's how I view that. Like, it's a pretty serious post in the sense of like, and I hate that posting a

picture means so much. Okay, absolutely, that's like the purgatory into exclusivity in a sense exactly so, But honestly, I feel like people should just be able to post things and like people just like, here's my girlfriend on Monday, here's my girlfriend on a Saturday, here's my girlfriend on a Friday. I don't know, I disagree, but anyways, we're gonna be all ready for the next question. How many dates until you can sleep with someone? M tatious? Squirm it over? No, come on, I think I think the

first date's fine. I don't see why not if you feel the vibe, if something's going if something's going well. I'm not going to sit back and say that I've never slept to someone on the first date, Like, obviously that happens. It's it's it's human nature. If something is going well, do you have you slept with more people on the first day then a second, a second or after. That's a really good question, Tor, And I'm actually kind of offended that you asked the producer Tori, I'm like, wow,

producing her friends out of principle. I'm going to say no, I haven't, but allow me to reflect on a little bit more and I might have a different answer for you. I don't know. Oh man, I don't know. I was so bad at the dating game. I missed that whole train. Um. I think if you're I don't know, like as a guy, I didn't. I wasn't interested in that because I didn't

want that to be how the relationship started. I wanted to go and enjoy an evening and and then like kind of step back from it, and I wanted you know, see, I think I'm I think I'm like an old school guy, like at heart somewhat Brooks, You're You're always the exception in the sense that just like Jared right, like Brooks and Jared, it are just like genuinely inherently amazing men. But you're in the exception. You're the exception. You're not

the rule, you know what I mean? I actually think like I'm the exception because I have so little experience in dating. You're not the exception because I'm kind of there with you, buddy, What do you mean? No, Like, I've never slept on the first date. Come on, you're gonna say I'm the only person here that's slept with someone. I'm not saying that you're in the wrong, and I'm not saying this anything wrong with it. However, I can count on one hand how many people I have slept with,

So how many fingers do you have? Okay? But I'm just saying, like, no, I take that self really seriously. All right, Well, yet again, dina'sser size because you have been voted everybody to take a sip of their wine, we should do this like you grab your water, Brook. I feel like I'm such the wrong person for this episode. What's your favorite way to be seduced? A horrible word? So what would you like to say? No, Tassia has

an answers that's like, speak up now. Tassia crosses her arms, sits back and says, I'm not saying That means he definitely has something to say. There's something worth being sad that Tassa is not saying. It could be a foot rob, it could be a whisper in the air, it could be a kiss on the forehead. What makes you a little bit like oh no? Because that creeps me out because then people are going to know what I like. Don't give away. I get what you're saying. Here's the thing.

If you're listening to this podcast and you're a potential contestant on Bachelor, stay tuned, because Tastia is about to let you in on what might make Tasa. Come on. You gotta tell us that's really, I'm I'm curious. As a friend and as a I will say something that gets me that I love. And it's very simple. It's just like when you're on a date when the man grabs your like waist, the lower around the waist, I'm like, I'm gonna piggyback off of that. There is there is

a what's the word I'm looking for? Like, there's you can go beyond grabbing the waist, right, And once you've established that, you can like like go under the shirt a little bit, not like not like go under the shirt, but like between the T shirt and the and the jeans there's like an inch gap and sometimes you can like slide a middle finger in there on the hip. And that might be the most intimate moment of any relationship.

Is the second you make skin to skin, The second you skin to skin outside of wrists and above, that's when things can become a little bit more sexual than they might have been. Brus, what about you. I like ears. Actually, my ears are and I think I think in general ears are a very rogenous zone or they know. Sorry, So when you look at an ear or when not really looking at an ear, no, like you're on it you're on it. I think actually, your lobes are actually

aren't they supposed to be like an orogynous stone? I don't know. I like when like my wife kisses my ear, is it orogynous like a rock formation or something like that? Oh no, no, that's that's that's erogenous. Can you cut that before before we move on to the next one. Tail definitely has something to say that she wanted to share with us. I do like it when people whisper in my ear. Yeah, that was very very but like it's playful. No, I like innocent leading and it's playful

and it's so innocent. Why did you want to keep that from us? It's just like I don't want random people whispering my ear. Yes, I agree. If you're listening to this, do not whisper in tihes here unless there's a second day, or unless you get a middle finger between a T shirt and the gene gap and maybe a whisper in the air. This is weird. I've never heard of the middle finger before between the T shirt and all right, ready for the next Yes, do you

prefer sex in the morning, afternoon or evening? Nice? That's a great question. Any actually, yeah, and it's just truthfully, I mean it used to be. It used to be evening mainly, but now, um, I'm not playing hockey, I'm retired. I can my day can be what I want it to be, so it doesn't have to be evening. I'm

embarrassed because mine's the exact opposite. It's almost like not I got I've gotten to the point where, especially considering the fact that I have a broken leg and I can't do the things that I want to do, my motivation is kind of shot, which also means my my

my sexual vigor of sorts. I guess you would say it's a little shot as well, and I'm a little embarrassed about it sometimes, but I'm willing to obviously talk about it and here, so when you say morning, afternoon, or night, I would say, honestly, none of them, because I've I am just I'm disgraced by myself sometimes, Okay, but it really is like at the same time, like you don't need to be well. It definitely hurts. It definitely hurts, right like that I've got a hip issue

and thrusting would be inherently painful. But there you know, it's just it's it's not really it's a sensitive subject. It's just a season. I think it's just a season. It's like sometimes you'll go on like a workout kick or a health kick or whatever, like a meditation kick or whatever you're into. Like, I think there's many seasons of life. And I think that's no difference with with sex drive. Um, I've talked about on the podcast before. I don't want to bring it back to like a

year ago. But Tasia, what do you have to say? No, you're right, I was gonna say something in I was gonna say, I do think that I border on the spectrum of asexuality. Like I'm not like Sue Puper motivated by sex. Like it doesn't like I don't have to be in a relationship for the fact of having sex with someone. Like the person of person connection, in my opinion, is more important to me than the physical connection. Well, I do think the physical connection is important, of course,

in any situation. Uh, it's not like an inherent necessary necessary, uh implement of the relationship for me, you know what I mean. And some people are the opposite. Some people are I have a friend who is like I have to have a boyfriend because I can't go more than two days without having sex. Some people are the exact opposite, But but then there are people like that like that

that are because you're right. I feel like in a in us in um uh society that we live in now, like sex has become such a prevalent thing and everyone talks about it, everyone knows that everyone is doing it, but then you're also kind of like expected to be doing it all the time. And in a situation like mine, where I'm like, sex is great, don't get me wrong, Like I love sex. It's fantastic if you're doing it, fantastic.

If you're not doing it, that's also great. But uh, I feel like sometimes relationships are judged by that, like it's it's like a barometer for how successful, how successful a relationship is, when in reality, like that's just like a small fraction of it. And like in the beginning, sty just sure it's like an important facet of a relationship.

But as things move on and Brooks, I'm sure you can attest this because you've been in a relationship longer than any of us have been, It's like it doesn't become less of a relationship, but it becomes less of a priority or less of a necessary part of it. No, I think that part grows as the other part grow as well. Like you you can still, um learn about somebody, and I'm only six years in with my wife. Um,

you still continue to learn about you. And also you change and you evolve in and your desires and cravings and her desires and cravings they change as well. You're not going to be the same sexual being that you are now the rest of your life, you know, and your partners not either. You're gonna have you know, things that change within you. And um, maybe you're more into atmosphere,

maybe like music more, maybe like more sensual connection. Maybe like you're gonna and that that can be daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, Like you're going to go through different ebbs and flows. And that's what I've learned in my partnership is learning more about that. And I don't think it diminishes over time. I actually think you explore more and um, yeah, you reach a different level of connection with that person. Beautiful,

I agree, But also I agree with that. I feel like there are things that I find um more stimulating the others, and but at the same time, I feel like there are times that I what are you looking at torres computer? Um? At the time, I feel like um. Sometimes, like when work gets really busy, you know, sometimes someone's really preoccupied in their mind or whatever, and like that part of a relationship kind of diminishes, but then at the same time, it kind of grows at different times.

But I would say that I never answered the question afternoon time, right afternoon, delight, delight, morning afternoon. Interesting, Okay, that's the last one I would expected in your opinion. What does it mean to be good in bed? Great question? Actually, that's a great question. Good in bed for a guy? I think, Uh, Brooks obviously answer this question better than the rest of us because it's got a stallion up here morning, afternoon and nighttime. It doesn't matter to him.

He's getting it all times. You know me very little. This guy just never gives it for me. Uh, someone that's very generous. I think is is probably the best thing for that. Right, Like, what was the question, I'll go on it. What does it mean to be good in bed? Right? Is that someone that's what does it mean to you to be good in bed? Oh? To me? As far as for the other person, get no, no no, no, no, I'm gonna answer this. As far as not the other person,

I don't care about the other person. I care about this is. This has gotten very weird. As far as the Help I Secredating podcast, I don't know what's going on. Yeah, let me put a thought out there. I think it's I think it's openness and willingness and communication. Yeah. It's like, like, here's the thing. You're thinking one thing, they might be thinking another thing. You have cravings, you have desires, you like they do too. And none of us are perfect

at this. And I'm not going to read minds and um, you know, like there's there's trust is a great word for it. I think just an openness and a willingness and and I think you also need to speak when what you want. You know, don't don't expect your partner to fulfill your every need. They don't know what you're thinking. Communication is great, yeah, so be open to be honest, speak up for what you want. And I also heard a great line on a podcast the other day that

um was amazing. It's just a beautiful line. It was nothing dirty can exist between two people in love, you know, so what you know? It was just like, um, you love the person explore with the person whatever you guys are into. I mean, there's many different ways to explore sexuality.

It's weird, uh, to speak candidly, is there's it seems like there's a bit of taboo attached to the idea of communicating sexually with your partner, which which is which is insane because if you think of all of life, like, the most powerful, powerful thing in the world is sexual energy. It's the only reason we're here. You're here. You're here, You're here because there was enough sexual energy between two

people to literally create a life. Yet it's the thing that's taboo that we don't talk about, that we don't explore. We know very little about it. And hands up, I'm one of these guys. And so this year I've started to learn more about intimacy, learn more about sex reality, Like what does it mean to be a sexual being? We know very little about it, yet it's such a powerful thing in the world. That's so true. I didn't even think about that. I meant, energy is a huge deal. Well.

The weird thing for me for me to think about my like internalized it is. Uh. In my relationship, I'm super open, but I feel like there are still things sexually that we're like kind of closed off about, you know what I mean. So it's like, there are so many things that you can be open about, but at the end of day, it's like, are you being open? And that's kind of the weird thing to think about. Anyways, we have all more questions. Oh, I have two more

actually two more questions. Okay, I've been drinking too much. One sorry? Oh have you ever had sex with someone that you did not know the name of? Next of cour you forgot their name? Next question? Can you guys all, let's go ahead and cut this part out. Can you go ahead and move on to the next question. Please, it's not for me. It's not for me, it's for the unnamed coat. Hold about for a friend? Ah? So what was that next question? What's next question? You've already said,

Tasha Brooks want to answer this question? Or now you guys both wanted on to the next one. Right, let's move on the next one. Let's move on the next I'm here to ask the hard hitting questions. So what's the next question? Then? Where is the most spontaneous place you've ever had sex? Really? I think's got an answer to when you like next into top of mind. I don't have an answer the most spontaneous place, so I'm gonna just echo her answer. I don't have an answer.

I mean I do, but my mike malfunctions check to to Okay, I'll start off with it. Then you guys, the most spontaneous place. That's I've ever yes, Okay, anyways, I'm not gonna say the words it's weird. Okay. Anyways, Um, I think when I was in college. I when I say I think obviously, I mean I know it happened in uh, in a public park, and it was a public park. Nightfall had come upon us. What are you doing at night in a park? Were having sex? People? My parents told me to stay away now you were

young and in love. Okay, nothing could stop us, not even public uh what I don't even know, not even p D A lots, you know what I mean. Anyways, that's my uh, that's my answer. What's your guys? Come on, I promise your father is not gonna listen to this spot. It's dead. Your father is not gonna listen to this. Come on, my dad is definitely listening to zero sent chance. Hello, al Right, onto the next. Oh my gosh, sometimes you're a pie in being a co host of this podcast.

It's pretty tricky when both your co hosts are proved. I got co host approval here, yes, Brooks, come on, I thought it was just guess can we correct that? What prudes or co hoo? Yeah, you know you're just a co host. I'm just to start divulging more information if you're gonna want to be considered co host, know, just as a guest, I don't need to divulge in as much as like a is definitely the co host anyway. Okay, the next one, we have one more question, yep, and

then we'll get into emails. Okay, cool, Sorry your Michaels fell Okay, have you ever had a sex dream about a coworker, a teammate, a boss, coach, any of those? Have you ever had a sexual dream? I'll answer this one. No, come on, a co worker, a teammate. I'm on the team with three dudes. It's called a dream for a reason, Brookes, I have never had a sexual dream about a coworker, teammate, coach, boss, anything like that. There's female sports trainers out there, so

but we never had one on our team. You had a female physical therapist. I have had a female physical therapist, but I've never had a sex dream about ta Um. Oh my god, you guys are so boring sometimes. Have you ever had a sexual dream about a co worker, a boss, um, a Pierre Pierre us like the scenario of it? Yeah, yeah, that I didn't have to like like answer with more, No, we need more, Tasia, my story before you can while you think of yours. So when I first graduated college, I got a job at

a recruiting agency in Denver, Colorado. And the thing about this recruiting agency is they hire only attractive men and women to become, you know, successful people at some point in their lives. Anyways, the the sales managers of my office, we're both very successful. They were both very beautiful. They're both very young. They were you know, late twenties, early thirties.

And I'm working my butt off and I show up one day to work and my sales manager there's there's one man and one woman and they're both sales managers. And the female sales sales manager comes to me and she pulls me aside in the morning of of what we call the stand up, which is where we like run over all of our open requisitions and we run over like all of our open possibilities to like close

deals and make money, et cetera. She pulls me like aside before we like jump into everything, and she goes, hey, Dean, last night, like I had a weird, uh sexual dream about you. And this woman is like, uh, like highly sought after woman, Like she's beautiful and she's very successful.

Obviously she's a sales manager, but she's also like married, right, and so it's like it was it was obviously a dream and dreams don't mean anything in my opinion, but like the fact that she like, why would she say every every guy in the office had a crush on this girl because she was like beautiful, successful, smart, whatever, etcetera, etcetera. Beautiful pulled me aside and she goes and I was like two weeks into my job at this point, and she goes, Dean, I had a sex dream about you

last night. And it was like the weirdest thing I think I've ever It was like I loved it. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. Yes, she was serious, I'm not gonna lie. I liked it like it made me feel very like validated for even being in the office. At that point, I like, I like walked around the rest of day with my chest puffed out. I was like, Oh, what's up? What's up? Mike? Do you hear what? Do you hear what she said about me? And oh, Jason, yeah, you hear what she

said about me? I feel like with that mustache right now, that's perfect story, It's perfect. Yeah, did any did anything ever happen between you? And absolutely not? But but the idea that she, like, you know, had the the the impression that something possibly could happen, was like that was exciting to a twenty two year old who had just gone his first job out of college. Didn't think about contacting HR. Hown't think HR existed in the company, and even if it did, I don't think I like I

was excited, Like I wasn't upset about it. Absolutely crazy that should come up to you and say that. It was more of like, hey, Dean, guess what ha ha ha ha Okay, But I was more of like, I have I have something like similar in that Vein my first pro camp, I was eighteen years old. I had just been drafted go to pro camp and we have to pass a physical before we can even get on

the ice. And I go downstairs to see the doctor and walk into the doctor's office and um, this is attractive woman, and I'm like, okay, and so anyway, my first, my first, like big physical. I'm eighteen years old, right, And then she checks out a couple of joints whatever. She's like, okay, drop your drawers and I'm like what and she's like, I need to feel your testicles, like I need like they do a check, you know, the cough.

Have you ever had that? Dean Like yeah. So so I'm like I'm like thinking, I'm like, what do I do here. I'm like, I'm I'm an eighteen year old kid. This woman is probably like forty years old, very attractive, and I'm like, I'm terrified I'm going to get a boner, Like terrified because she's gonna put her hands right up there and I have to cough and this is gonna I'm like, oh my god. Um, and I like I think I closed my eyes close to my eyes so I wouldn't think about it and just drop my shorts.

And then we did it, and it was like the most awkward thing about like, hey, listen, sometimes when someone is grabbing the things that they're not supposed to grad like, it invokes excitement. Yeah, hey, it's a natural thing, right, I agree. Before we we're gonna move on to one more thing. But before we do that, we're gonna take one quick break and we will be right back to it hot. Before we get back to it, Tasia is going to share her vivid sex streams about some man

that she used to work with. I feel like I'm the only one. Can you stop listen. It's hard and I'm not going to do all that. I get it. I get it. Okay, Tori, we understand that we have an email from a listener that needs a little bit of help, So let's dive into that real quick. I just got into a long distance relationship. I met my boyfriend back in July and we have talked every day since.

He's coming down for Valentine's Day. And I've never done this long distance thing and I'm still learning how to handle it. But I do need more affection through texting. My love language is words of affirmation, and I don't get that from him when we say goodbye after we see each other. We both get kind of emotional, and I keep saying it over and over, but when I say it to him over FaceTime or text, he never says it back. I feel like he doesn't get the

clues I send. And when I I feel like he doesn't get the clues I send him when I want him to say something to me, how do I bring it back up to him without sounding too scary or needy? See the thing with this situation is I can't really contribute to this argument because words of affirmation is my absolute lowest words of affirmation. I can't give words affirmation like I'm absolutely horrible at it, So I don't want to see here and pretend like I'm good at it.

Um So I think Tastia should answer this question. Wait, so you never give anyone words of affirmation. I'm the most sarcastic, so like biggest pieces. Take that as in like, but like the way that I show affection is like I'll like be around you and I'll I'll hug you, or like I'll bring you places or all get you presents like words of affirmation like me telling you that you are like my specials person, etcetera, etcetera. Like it's

just like something about that. It's like give me like shivers. Okay, So what you're saying is you've never been in a long distance relationship. No, any wrong, Any long distance relationship has been the wrong distance relationship. Okay, what about you, Brooks. I have been in long I did long distance with my wife for three and a half years. I have I have a quick question for you, Dean. Do you not give words of affirmation? Because words of affirmation to

you don't matter that much. It's it I haven't. I haven't gone to the bottom of why I don't. I'm sure you could relate it back to my childhood and like perhaps why I didn't get the things that I

thought that I wanted. Um, I just like it makes me cringe, like when yes, I'm in a relationship now, and when things are said like oh like baby or like the L word, like those types of things that like it makes me like shutter a little bit because it's like don't I miss you, don't tell me like show me, like don't tell me like come here and embrace me, come here, and and you know like that type of stuff. Yeah, because quite often I think people I I until I learned about love languages and you

learn what you what's important to your partner. You give love the way you want to receive love. So I was like an acts of service and quality time, So I would give love that way because that's what that's what I love the most, if somebody to do that for me, But my partner maybe doesn't want that, and so, um, you know that's maybe why. Maybe his love language and this question isn't words of affirmation, so he doesn't give it that much because it doesn't matter for him to

receive it back, but maybe for her it does. I'm sure he could probably be better. I've done a long distance, a little note or a little anything like, um, I'm thinking about you, I miss you, little text, little videos your what are your love languages? My mine are quality time? Uh um ah, affection, physical touch, quality time, physical touch, um and then um access service and your significant other?

Are they the same or are they different? No? Hers is I think quality time and gifts and physical touch. So then do you adapt to then getting her gifts and physical touch, etcetera. That's like that's you're you're adapting to giving her the things that she wants. Yeah, yeah,

I mean that's the dance. I think what Tastitia was talking about earlier in the marriage is you learn that kind of stuff, You learn what's important to them because giving love the way that you want love isn't the way that your partner does, and that that can be misconstrued and they can they can actually feel unseen. You know, if somebody's giving you, Dean, if somebody's giving you just words of affirmation but not spending any time with you

or not touching you like you're like, she doesn't. She doesn't love me, like I feel rejected. She just tells me she does, but she doesn't show it. I can feed words all day. There's that adult age, old adage. Don't treat your neighbor how you want to be treated, treat your neighbor how they want to be treating. I think this is awesome just because of your lifestyle that you kind of don't have many neighbors. What's your throwing You're throwing the most awesome neighbor, like he's Wilson from

next Door on or Tim from Home Improvement. Will you guys, thank you so much for joining us. From the next episode of Help, I suck as always, But Dean could say in his defense, everyone's his neighbor. As always, I'm det Unglers. Thank thank you to our co Hosts Brooks Like and Tasha Adams as always you guys, Wow, I just I don't even know where to begin with both of you. Be sure to check out Brooks podcasts How Men Think on I Heart Radio. Be sure to check

out Tasha Adams. She will be our next bachelorette Bachelorrett. Be sure that's tune into our next episode of help by Suck At Dating, because maybe then we'll suck a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast