Spin the Bottle

I Sucked Dating. That lays ahead of us a lot of topical events to discuss, a lot of listening to emails to get to Jared's wearing a bandana across his head like he's straight at the top. Gun. I don't know why he's doing that, but here we are. I was getting like Outer Banks vibes. Yeah, I can see that, Outer Banks. What's that? Oh? Just to television sEH on Netflix.

I gotta start watching TV. You know what I gotta start watching is Ozark because I over the weekend obviously I heard all about the Lakes of Ozarks, which apparently that's what the show is about I don't really know, but anyway, point is, I'm wearing a bandana because my hair is getting really long and it gets in my face. And Ashley's sister Lauren gave me this bandanna. Aware I'm not gonna lie. I kind of like you guys, I'm kind of digging it. You look cool. I'll tell you

that I think I look cool. I think some people look like I think that I look like a a douche. I think that's term, for lack of a better term, trying to think, but I don't know. It doesn't really fit my overall vibe. Like you never think of Jared wearing a bandana. I'm just like a very plain vanilla guy.

But I'm digging it. I'm not gonna lie. Um, it really spices yup a little bit of the press, and we just gotta change things up, like not much is happening in our lives, so you know, a bandana spices it up every once in a while. So I'm gonna start wearing the bandana more often. Uh. We do have some topics, uh that Dean and I are going to get into. The first one is about our very own bachelor family. Alum Clay Harbor Dean. Did you hear about Clay and his new fling? He's dating someone from ninety

Day Fiance? Do you watch nine D Fiance. I hadn't heard about it until I read what We're Gonna talk About Today, and I looked into it a little bit. And my first gut reaction when I read it that Clay was dating someone from Nina Fiance was that he was dating the same girl that was dating a guy that we had on our podcast a couple of weeks ago ed and I was like, all everything was thrown out of wack. I was so confused for a second,

but I looked it up. I think that the term dating is pretty loosely used, Like it sounds like they were on one real life date and now they're like going to Skype a couple of times. And she likes his big muscles and she likes that he used to be a football player. That's about all that I gathered from.

I mean, I like his big muscles. I get it. Well, first of all, it's ninety days, so her name is Fernando Flores and she was on Fiance and then obviously Clay was on Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise and she was divorced, so she was Her divorce got finalized in March, so only like three months ago. You know what's crazy? There started dating via zoom like they I don't think they've ever met in real life, right, I think that they have been real life once, That's what I gathered,

but I couldn't be mistaken. But it doesn't look like they have once in a photo that they are together at like a concert or a bar. Yes, but like I said, my mind immediately went to Ed's fiance from the show Dave Fiance, and I was so confused, so I looked it up. But apparently this woman is from Mexico if I understand that correctly, she's a model like

she uh, she's an attractive woman. And I looked up her ex husband, the guy that she was on Today Fiance with, and I couldn't find much about him, So I don't really know. I don't know how she was on on Dave Fiance. I guess I don't really understand the whole show in the sense. But I mean, good for Clay, happy for him for for for branching out. It's funny that he uh reading that article and like

kind of looking at Fernando's Instagram a little bit. She gives me a lot of Nicole eyes, like I see a lot of seces between her and and Clay's ex from Bachelor in Paradise, Right, I think I think she's Latin as well. Yes, I believe, but it's just I guess Clays has got a type. You know? Yeah, I mean, hey, don't we all my friend? Uh? So, she says her ex is Jonathan Rivera. Do you know who that is? Tor? Yeah, he's no, but he's very attractive. Let me let me

click on this guy. Hold on, let me find out who this guy is. Very very attractive couple. They were. I told you I looked him up. I couldn't find him. Oh he's handsome. He kind of gives me Chris Randome vibes a little bit. Huh. Yeah, he's got a great beard. He was a good beard. Good beard they are. They were very attractive couple, weren't they. What? Jared, are you shocked by this news? And how do you feel about it? I guess really like that. Well, I don't know. I mean,

good for him. I'm happy for him. I'm very curious how this whole thing started, because they they met, they obviously met in real life once because they're, like you said,

Tori is a picture of them. So I'm curio us that they met when she was still with her husband, which I mean, I'm not saying that shady, but you know, I wonder if there's any flirtation back then, and then she got divorced in March, and then I wonder if they've I wonder if they've like snuck out and try to see each other during quarantine because they both live in Chicago, m and surprise. I feel like that's kind of uh, what's what's the word? Not acceptable behavior but

expected behavior? You know. I'm confused though, it's because on the bottom it's it says a quote from Fernanda. I'm saying that right, correct, Fernanda. Fernanda, am I an idiot? I hope you got it right. She says, I do want kids. Fernanda says, after Clay ass on the show, what what does that mean? Were they on a show together? Maybe their first zoom date was tell was tell? I

think that's what it was. It was something a show in quarantine, and they met on that show after I've already met in person and that's probably where they're pulling that quote from. She says, if you ask me this question when I was fresh out of my separation, I would say no, I will never date again. I don't believe in men, but you know, I'm ready to give

love a chance again. She said, she's looking forward to her future and uh, she's excited to touch his muscles and have physical contact once this whole thing is over. She's Mexican. Yes, yes, she's, because it says the Mexican Beauty. Uh yeah, I mean she changed her mind pretty quickly after March. I mean good for them. Whatever, if you can somehow find a girlfriend through quarantine, I mean good for you. Yeah. I mean she's kind of objectifying his

muscles a little bit. But other than that, I guess here the question for you as it as it pertains to dating and kind of uh you know. Obviously, the central root of our podcast is do you think having just divorced her husband in March, is it too soon for her to be especially like public be dating now? Like privately dating, I guess is one thing, but now to be like so vocal about wanting to meet someone new,

is that a bad luckty thing? I wonder if they're actually dating or if this whole thing is being blown out of abortion because they had a really good zoom date and they made it public. Because you're right, she just got divorced in March. Maybe they were separated for a while, so maybe she was ready to move on. But a divorce is a pretty exhausting experience to go through, so I'm sure she was pretty excited to have it

over And then I'm just curious. I guess the bigger question for me is, like you said, Dean, can you, like I guess you could be boyfriend girlfriend via virtual dates? Tori? Would you ever say you had a boyfriend if you never met them before and only talk to them via zoom? Like, would you feel comfortable saying that? No? I think that you have to have that conversation in order to use it. Let me pitch you a hypothetical scenario. You're real quick, Tory.

Let's say you and Brad Pitt are all of a sudden zoom dating like once a day every day during this whole quarantine. He asks you to be his girlfriends. What do you respond? Because you haven't really met him in person yet, but you've just been zooming with you know, skyping with him every single day. The emotional connection is there.

You're interested in his life, he's interested in yours. But obviously we understand it's kind of like the um love is blind thing in a sense, you know, where uh, all you really get is to be able to talk to them, and you don't really get to explore the physical complaintance. I feel like that makes it more exciting where I would be like, yeah, for sure, we're confident that we don't need any of that other stuff besides just communication and not having the physical aspect of it

and still being entertained by each other. It's like a huge quality you'd want in a relationship. So I'd be like, hell, yeah, I'm your girlfriend. Listen, I'm gonna say I'm gonna play Devil's advocate here, so don't This is not my whole opinion on this. Do you think we downplay physical attraction?

Do you think we downplay the physical part of a relationship Sometimes I mean to downplay it because we always talk about like love is blind or like, you know, a physical uh part of the relationship is you know, not the most important. And you know you can believe in love because you can get to know someone before the physical attraction comes. But like, isn't the difference between being friends and being in a romantic relationship the physical aspect?

So once you say that's pretty important because what if you found a husband or a wife and you were just you like had the friend part of it, but you didn't have the romance part of it. So aren't you guys just friends? At that point you tell me, what do you think? Well, I don't know, Dean. I'm I'm gonna want to ask you the questions here. Okay,

well let me ask you. Let me ask you this, uh, not to get too personal, but I think I remember seeing that you said that you and Ashley are not being intimate while you're staying at her parents house, which is very reasonable, understandable. Right, So as you consider over the past two months just actually as a friend or

do you still consider her as your wife? I wouldn't say we haven't been intimate, but what I would say that you know the parents are close by, so it's a little m it's not as uh uh how do I phrase this? Not as a not a like it's always you know, no know how to say that, not as promiscy with in your own home. Maybe you just you know, you keep things down. I don't know, um, but do you feel like that you have to communicate a lot more with each other to get through those times?

Like did it change into feeling like does every kind of sometimes feel like, Oh, I feel like I'm more friendly with my wife right now than like an actual wife.

We've had conversations about that where we've because we've been friends for so long that sometimes you know this, if I'm being honest, it comes from actually more than me where she feels more like a friend sometimes and that makes you know, that makes her sad, and it's it's we kiss all the time, and we kiss constantly, but you know, she've been told me she was like, I want to be objectified sometimes, and I was like, all right,

I can do that. It's hard, though. It's hard to objectify someone that you care so much about, um and that you you're so comfortable and close with, you know, it's hard to kind of like that. I guess I can speak from my own experience. After I broke my leg, I was pretty incapacitated for a long time, and uh,

my physical connection with Kaylin took it. You know, took a bit of a hit, but I will I want to say that I felt even closer to her during during that time than I would than I did before, when intimacy was never really a front of mine issue. It was, you know, even though we were less intimate.

I kind of feel we were talking about this obviously, even though we were being less intimate because I had like that was incapable of it because my hip was you know, rehabbing, I still felt more connected to her than I had in the nine months of our relationship prior. Was it easy to flip the switch back on? Uh, not necessarily. I like him going throught. I'm like going through some like self worth issues at the moment because

I like put on some facts. Since breaking my leg and not really being as act of I feel like I'm not like as uh as cool as I used to be. So I'm like going through some self worth stuff right now. So it's not just like a switch that you can get flipped right back on. What's you know, It's it's just it's a steady progression. I think a lot of girls, I think when you think of a heterosexual relationship, you would assume that girl struggles like self esteem wise, like way more than men do. But do

men actually do that, They just don't vocalize. Like it's interesting hearing Dean saying skills and secure because like you would never know. Yeah, I mean from my experience, I

can only speak from that. I definitely, like, I know it's a direct increase in just like general not just happiness, but like self esteem becauseually, like when I'm going to the gym a lot, or like if I'm climbing a lot more, or if I'm doing things that interests me a lot more, I think that generally makes me happier, which then in turn boosts my sex drive, you know, oh totally, especially like not being able to like even go outside and go on a hike during the course

of the past three months or however long since I broke my leg, Like it definitely just like lowered my libido to a point that it's kind of probably like the lowest tropics ever been in. And I would say, so what happened after that? Like I'm curious because I can relate. You know, Uh, Ashley and I were friends for so long. I'm sure a lot of couples go through this where they have lulls lulls in the intimacy department, and it's hard to talk about It's very awkward to

talk about um, both as men and women. I think as a guy can only speak upon it or like, in my opinion, the reason it's so awkward is because I I grew up in in like a world where like, as a guy, you're supposed to be able to have sex twenty five times a day and enjoy it every single time, you know, like that's kind of the way, you know, growing up in my teenage years, and then that's what girls kind of I think, always uh expected or assumed because it's so easy for a guy to orgasm,

not to like go you know, deep down this road, but to or anything. But yeah, I mean everybody knows that it's it's it's far easier for a mail to to reach the point of pleasure than than a female.

And and so I think at times when you know, I'm not feeling good about myself, like Dean says, you know, where I'm not working out or I'm just not confident about myself, and so my sex drive is down, and there are times where I just kind of, you know, I don't feel like having sex and Uh, that causes issues, you know, and and because then it creates insecurities for

your partner, creates insecurities for yourself. Intimacy is a very interesting part of a relationship because you know, it's not the only thing that separates friendship from a relationship, but it's obviously a big factor. You know. I think that like men kind of know how to navigate women better with their insecurities because that's more of like our stigma.

It's like, Okay, make a girl feel special, Like for us to like orgasm, you like have to really like value the woman and make her feel special and loved in romance or whatever. But how do we, like, how do women take care of their men if they're feeling secure? Like what helps you guys feel like, Oh I feel special and feel important? Like our words cheap in those times? Or that is that the time to build up your guy more? See a great question. I love Oh God,

don't judge me from this podcast alone. I love when Ashley like craves me. Uh, that's what really turns me on. Uh. And I think a lot of guys, at least my friends that I felt comfortable enough to talk about sex with, uh, feel very similar to me, when a girl like acts in a way or says things in a way where it feels like like she just doesn't want you, she like she needs you. Uh And honestly, for a guy, like that's the sexiest thing, uh that's ever happened to

me when I've encountered situations like that. Um and uh. So I think that's maybe, you know, a piece of advice I could give to women. It's not easy. It's not like you know, I think, especially as a guy, I think guys are they're very afraid to open up,

very very afraid to talk about certain topics. I find that women, and you know, I'm not trying to generalize, but just in my experience, I feel that women are more open to talking about uh, difficult things or uncomfortable things, whether it be about sex or other issues within the relationship.

So it's hard to get a guy to open up. Um. And I would say that's why, uh, you know, there might be a wall or a problem because I feel, like you said, Tori, you know, in my experience, I feel like women are much more open to saying, hey, this is uh, this is what I need, uh, this is how I you know, get in the mood, or it doesn't even have to be about sex. It just could be a lot of different things in a relationship, like hey, I need this, like this is what I

need from you. Uh And for some reason, guys, I include myself in this refused to say that, Like I have a very difficult time, you know, talking to Ashley been like this is what I need. A lot of times I'm just like I'm fine, I'm fine, even though in my head, I'm like, I know I should just be saying what I what I want to say, which is this is what I need you to do. But for some reason, it's hard. On the contrary, though, I like uh to to kind of answer Torrictoria question a

little bit. Is even though Calin tells me all the time that she thinks I'm the most handsome man in the world or whatever, I don't feel like I am in like good shape or handsom. Then I think it's just kind of like falling on deaf years in the sense where it's like it kind of comes from with it. Then, like, if I don't feel that way, then no matter what you tell me, it's not gonna get me to feel

any sort of way. You know what I mean, so it's like, yes, it's nice to be like wanted and yearned for, but at the end of the day, at least in my experience, in my opinion, if it's like, if it's not starting from within, then it's not gonna

like really do much for me. Like we have kind of this run and get running gag Calin and I where she'll like compliment you know, either the way that I look at the moment, or like something that like a nice gesture that I did for her, or like something stupid, and I always respond, but don't patronize me because it's always like I always feel like unless I'm actually proud of like the way that I look or the way that I feel, or the way like this

project that I just completed, Uh, then I don't necessarily think that boosting me up is gonna necessarily get me there. And it's like, obviously, you know, I know that she's appreciative, and you know she actually does think that I'm handsome, but it all kind of like starts from I guess my like bludding insecurities of all these things. So how do you how does she deal with that? Though? What

should she do? That's a that's a hard question. Uh well, I mean we've basically established what we what we're gonna do moving forward is she will continue to either will there to be complimentary. We just and then I like crack a joke at it, and then we like both understand each other, Like I understand that she really does feel that way, and she understands that I'm appreciative of it. It's just our way of like kind of thing with it, you know what I mean. Yeah, guys are stupid. We're

all dumb. Yeah, Oh my gosh, I absolutely I agree. Yeah, what else do we have on the docket for today? Because I feel like we need to take a quick break. Let's take a quick break and then we can talk about something that I found very upsetting and it really just left me pained. I can't wait to hear what it is. I'm excited for the listeners. Stay tuned. We are going to take one quick break and we're gonna jump back in to what Jared cannot get off of

his brain. In addition to that, we're gonna play another Last week we played seven Minutes at Heaven, and through this quarantine, we're gonna be playing some fun dating, kissing, Uh, how do I what do I want to call these teenager esque games? So this week we're playing spin the Bottle. It's gonna get real hot, real heavy. You're not gonna wanna miss that. That's gonna come later on the episode two.

To stay tuned. All right, welcome back. We were just about to talk to Jared about what has been keeping him up at night. Jared, I'm I'm all ears here. I'm sitting on the edge of my seat. What's going on over there? Buddy? Well, you know, I don't watch a lot of TV shows, but one show that I've watched a couple of seasons of that for some reason, like I feel a kinship with, is a little show called Riverdale. Do you guys watched the show at all tour?

I feel like you must have seen a couple episodes. I've actually watched, like a couple of seasons. Yes, okay, so I I for I watched the first two seasons. I love the first season, the second season. In the third season, I've watched couple episodes. Couldn't really get into it yet, but I really need to start trying. The reason I started getting into it was because skill, which was in it, and ski art Rich is the ability.

He's the original killer and scream. Long story, but I'm a huge screen fan, so I started watching because of that, and then I really started loving Uh Cole Sprouse his character in it, who Tory? Do you remember his name in the show? Junkhead? Junkhead Jones, thank you very much. And and so I heard before the rundown, I saw on the news yesterday or the day before that, Riverdale's Cole Sprouse and Lily Reinhardt, who is also a lead

in the show. Then they were dating on the show and dating in real life, and they broke up again less than a year after they got back together. And it's very sad, guys, because I'm a big Cole Sprouse fan and a big Lily Ryan Heart fan. But Cole Sprouse, like, I just feel like this kinship with him. I feel like a lot of people do, if I'm being honest. He used to be an archaeologist, which is crazy. Dean, do you know who this kid? This kid is he's one of the twins. You know who is Have you

ever seen Big Daddy? Of course he's the kid. He's one of the twins. It's Cole and Dylan sproused and I was a little old for the life of Zack and Cody. I'm not gonna lie. It like just passed me by. Maybe I'll watch some reruns. I just got Disney Plus. I'm sure it's on there. But I was very sad and they broke up and they've been together for like three years. They met on the set. It's like one of those stories that I love, especially as

being a movie buff. I love the idea of two people meeting on a movie set and then dating real life. Like I was a big Courtney Cox and David Arquette fan because they met on the original Scream. They obviously got married now they're divorced. Who else met on movie sets? Brad Pitt and Angelie and Jolie. They met on Mr. And Mrs Smith. Oh, but that was heartbreaking. It is because we were all rooting for Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anderson.

I understand, but who knows. They might come back. They've had They had that whole Oscar thing where like Brad and Jennifer were holding hands and looking at each other and everybody was shipping those two. But anyway, there's a few other Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. What they meet on Green Lantern? M hmm. Melakuda is an Ashton Cutcher. Oh, don't tell me the names of the show. Oh that well, they met in that Chevenue show. Yeah, I was thinking of the movie they did. It was like no strings

attached or friends with benefits or something. Now never mind, it was no strings and hats. But that was Natalie Portmant moving on. Mm hmm. What was Lily Ryanharden? Originally because she looks familiar, but I definitely remember releasing Riverdale. So what else would I know from hustlers? Hustler Jennifer Lopez. I never saw that either m shared any others. Oh God, I don't even know. I'd have to look up for IMDb. Do you have any other couples though, I'm very interested

in couples that have met in movie sets. Yes, we have Adam Brody and Layton Mister. They met on the o C. How about Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prince Jr. How much do you love the fact that they're still together? Like, isn't that just the coolest ship ever? The fact that Freddie Prince Jr. And Sarah Michelle Geller like scream King and Queen from the nineties are still together. That's just awesome.

I see that. Even Mendez and Ryan Gosling. I forgot about that they met on the set of Place Beyond the Pines. I didn't even know that they were married her together. Oh yeah, they have a couple of kids. I think, oh, yeah, to they have two daughters. I think they're married. They definitely have kids together though. It's one of my favorites. Kurt Russell and Goldie Han. Have you ever seen Overboard? Best movie ever? And they're just like an iconic duo. Is that the one where she

gets a misia? Yes, so she like falls off the bow and then thinking, yeah, he tried to get back at her. That is we were talking about gold Goldiehon yesterday. Actually my mom knew Goldie Han because Goldiehon had a place to Aspen and apparently Goldie Han is just like the nextest person ever. Oh that makes my heart so happy. Yeah, she's like obsessed with there where the women flock like the sam in a capastrono A great place. That's right.

Last one. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith they met on the Fresh Prince of bel Air, where she auditioned for a role of Will's girlfriend but didn't get it, but then he got her number and hit her up later. Wow, that's so cool. She didn't get the role. Why do I feel like she was on the show at some point? She probably made a cameo after they started dating. That's pretty awesome. Jesus fresh Prince of bel Air. So they've been together for like thirty years? Yeah, Wow, that's crazy.

Who is that? Will Smith and Jada Pickett Smith? Oh? They Yeah, that's crazy. I guess I don't really remember her from that show. But yeah, it's funny to think about how many, I guess actors and actresses just meet on set. It's kind of like, in a weird way, going on a bachelor bachelorette. You know, you spent all this time with this person, uh, and then all of

a sudden you just like them. It would be weird, though, like I because with all the people that have met on set and how become gone into relationships after they've dated in a movie, they start dating in real life. Would you be would you ever be comfortable calin becoming an actress and having to kiss somebody else in a movie? Absolutely?

I'd be toolutely care with that, you're insane. I mean, I think, like I think we talked about this last week or two weeks ago, is that I guess you are just a little bit different in the sense that I think you're admittedly a little bit of a jealous person, which is totally reasonable, understandable. I think a lot of us are. But I guess I just I don't feel that way. No, of course I'd be okay with it.

Like if if Ashley became a famous actress and she had to go in movie roles and kiss, you know, as much of its suck guys like you know, Leo or Brad, if she had to ever kiss if Oh my god, that would be my worst fucking nightmare. If she ever had to do a movie and got paid so much money and they were like, okay, well you know she's gonna have a sex scene with Leonardo DiCaprio, our marriage would be over. There's there's no color, there's

literally no coming back from that. Fake sex with Leo is so much better than real sex with me, just speaking, it's Leo, you know. Anyway, you know who else met on set, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. Even though they broke up, they made they they met on What the hell is that movie? That Kevin Smith movie? It's Jersey Girl? Is it Giggly? No? That's first of all, it's Julie. I don't know why he put out to like that.

Giggly could be fun Jersey Girl two dozen four? Okay, but can we talk about this for a quick second. Bringing you back to Lily and Cole. Now they have to work together. Sure, well if it gets renewed for a season five? True, but how would how do you guys handle being in the bachelor world? I feel like everything is so convoluted and mixed together, Like, how do you handle it when you know your partner is going to go work with someone that they used to be

intimate with or really ship with. Like let's say Calin has a crossover with someone else working on like a collap or like let's say they're doing a photo shoot together and the two influencers me, what are your thoughts? I mean, I, oh god, that's a tough one. I'd like to I don't know. I mean, of course, I trust like I would trust Ashley. You have to have a certain level of trust in your relationship in order to have a happy and successful relationship. But man, depends

on how that long they had to work together. If it was like a one day shoot, I mean, what are you gonna do? But if they were like, okay, they have to travel to Italy together and spent three months in this photo shoot room together, I'd be a little nervous. Also kind of depends on who it is. Like if it's Chris Souls who actually used today on TV, You're like, oh, yeah, that's fine, Chris is a good friend. Yeah, yeah, I guess it really does depend because I wouldn't be

worried about Chris. Yeah, I don't know if i'd be worried about anybody in Bachelor World. Dean, how would you feel if she has Kalin has a like a perfume shoot with Colton Underwood for the next six hours on set together? Where did you? What do you feel inside? It would be laughing inside and on the outside too. I think that'd be hilarious. Or what about what about Connor? I would be laughing even harder on the inside. Oh, I would feel really bad for everyone involved. I don't know.

I was just laughing. I don't know, I don't know. I just the same same boat as Jared. I don't care. I like, I think that she's a grown woman. She's gonna go there and be professional and get the job done. And I'm not like worried about I mean, short of, like Jared said, a sex scene with Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah, fine, Leo and Caitlin. I understand they're probably gonna run off

in the sunset together. But Fassi Nation is just funny because it's like, you know, you you put these people that you want to meet on a pedestal and then, uh, you know, the more you get to know them, I guess the more humanized they become. So it's like, I'm not like, the only one that I'm worried about is like Tyler Cameron, right, because I've never met Tyler Cameron, but I'm sure if I met him, I'd be like, oh, you're just like a regular guy, just like all of us,

you know. Um. And for the record, Calin doesn't even think Tyler Cameron's cute, which I don't. I don't see I think he's the hottest man in the world. Um, But he's like the only guy that I'd really be worried about because I've actually never met him before. I haven't really been able to like humanize him in my own eyes, you know what I mean versus everyone else, Like if if, if it would happen with anyone else, I'm like, oh, I know that guy, I know how much I know that he's as much of anity as

I am, etcetera. So there's no fear for me. I think we should keep these questions coming with the good old for the listeners. Toriy made a very pink sign with some beautiful handwriting, some glitters, has spin the bottle. That's exactly what you would expect to see if you were in sixth grade and you went over to your friend's house into the basement and there's a spin the Bottle sign hanging there. How long did it take you make? Honestly thirty minutes, you guys, there's there's a few there's

a few trials that we had on this. We had this one, but this one was too big. So I like this. It's got some nice uh. I like the font used is like fun and you know, it's a nice contrast because it's a pink poster, but it has some gold glitter and black marker. It's very nice, very nice and done toward all right, so what are we doing? But we have twelve questions? So I'm gonna have this circle here? Who came up with these questions? Bottle? Are you welcome me? Did you come up with the questions

before or after? You drank that corona? Staring perfect really sets the mood. You know what. We're all sponsored by a Krona being working from our homes, so I figured it seemed right. And it's extra because we're gonna get extra spicy spicy up in here, so I'm gonna spend there's twelve questions. Um, let's start with me off the bet before we start, Tori. As excited as we are to start this game, Jared and I cannot wait. The

listeners can't wait. But before we start, I think it would be appropriate for us to take one quick break and to prepare ourselves for what lays ahead. So we'll be right back after this short grade. All right, welcome back to help my second dating Dean, myself, Tori. We're gonna play spin the bottle somehow over the computer. I'm excited to see how this goes down. So, Tori, you have a Corona bottle very fitting, and you're gonna spin the bottle. It's gonna land on a question. I'm assuming yep.

How do we know that this is not rigged? We can't even see the questions. You're just spinning the bottle and we're taking your word for it because it's all the tea that I want in your guys life. So it's not rigged the things that I want to know. All right, here I go, I am spinning the bottle. Question X, who's this two? This is two, Dean. I'm going by alphabet, so D comes first in the alphabet. What was the last thing you searched on your phone put your phone on the internet. Well, I guess it

was Ben Affleck Jennifer Lopez movie. Okay, Now besides that, um, well, I was looking up night Fiance for named to Flores. Last thing that doesn't count either. Oh man, it doesn't really say. I've got like some tabs open. You guys know what cure is Cora. It's like it's like a website but ask questions and then the answer. I like to look at that a lot. This is not going the way I was hoping it was going to go. I don't really have anything interesting that I look at

I don't know. That's that's it, Dean. You're the You're the hippie interesting one, all right, I'm the one who's supposed to be bland. You know. The last thing I looked up but the CDC website. Nice, that's very fitting. I looked up where the A C charge poor on my van is because my A c ran out. Well, that's because I'm not really very interesting either. This is why what I was talking about earlier. You know, I'm losing some of my gusto because I just feel like

I'm just a domesticated loser now. No no offense to domestican losers out there, none offense taken. Trust me, we're all losing a little bit of our augusto right now, or as just say, our mojo. All right. I spun the bottle again. Landed on number three. Three is Jared tell me about your first love? Uh? Oh wow, my first love? Oh god, I hope actually is not around. I'm just gonna be happy I'm talking about this so we ironically enough fits really the theme of this podcast.

We met on a college film set and she played my on screen girlfriend, and um we went in for a reading like a script reading. We took it very seriously. I was nineteen and we went into the conference room and this girl was there and she was very pretty, and I was like, I hope this is the girl that's playing my on screen girlfriend. And it was and um funny enough, so we filmed the movie. I was terrified to ask her out, but everybody knew that I liked her. She asked me out. So she was going

to Boston College at the time. I was in Rhode Island. So one night I drove up to Boston College hung out with her and her friends, and it was like kind of awkward because we didn't really know each other all that well. And I went up to Boston and hung out with her friends and I had to drive back that night, so I wasn't drinking or anything like that. And it was fun, but it wasn't. It definitely was

not the best first date, so we left. I left then the next day or the day after, I called her to see if she wanted to meet up again to go on a second date. Never called me back, and five six months goes by. This was back in January, so now we're in summer. She's home back in Rhode Island for the summer and the movie is finished and we're gonna have like a small premiere in my buddy's backyard. And I was curious if she was gonna go because I called her and she never called me back, and

then she messaged me. She texted me the day before we were supposed to see each other at the premiere, and she apologized and she was like, well it was my you know, I just good. I don't know. She made excuses obviously of why she couldn't call me back, who was whatever. And then we saw each other at the premiere. It went really well, and then we started dating, and then we dated for four years after that, and it was a very Yeah, it was a very intense,

very intense relationship. I thought at the time I was gonna marry her, and then she was my first love, she was my first everything. Um, so it was very uh, you know, it was just an intense situation, and so the breakup was pretty intense. The reason we broke up. I broke up with her it was because I felt like I didn't know who I was without her. I was always her boyfriend. Which is funny because I'm kind of in a similar situation right now. Where Ashley is definitely,

you know, the leader in this relationship. Um, but at the time, when I was in my early twenties, I just kind of want to do a little bit more self discovery and um, and so we ended up breaking up and going out of separate ways. And then before I knew when I was on the Bachelorette, and you know, my life completely got turned upside down after that. Were you emotionally healed before going on the Bachelor? Well? Mostly, yeah,

I'd say mostly. Um, about a year before I went on the show, I really tried to get her back and uh really went after and she was with another guy at the time, and I didn't give a rat's ass, uh so, but she wanted to continue dating the other guy, and I was like, I totally get out of understand, Like I'm the one that broke up with you. You know,

you need to do what's best for you. And um. Also, funny enough, she was going away for a while, uh, doing some incredible work, and um, we saw each other's again like a year before, so I guess the boyfriend thing was like two years before. And then a year before the bachelorrette she called me said she's leaving for a while, she wanted to meet up. Say hi. So we met up. We ended up kissing. It was very intense, and then I thought we were gonna get back together,

but she was gonna be gone for six months. But I was like, that's fine, Like we'll stay a long distance for six months and then maybe we'll get back together. After her that So I messaged her on Facebook when I when I found out she made it to her destination and said, I'm super excited for you. Uh, you know, stay safe, be healthy. Uh, please keep me up to date on stories or you know, what's going on in your life. So on and so far. Right, she never

answers that. She never answers the Facebook message. So a couple of months go by. You know, I'm kind of venting about it with my friends as as you know we all do, and just venting like I can't believe she didn't write me back and don and so my friend was so piste off. She signed me up for

the Bachelorette and uh, unbelievable. Isn't that crazy? So without that ever happening, I don't know if I would ever be on the show, because I don't know if she would ever be because my friend always told me to sign up and I was never gonna sign myself up. And then when I was venting to her one night, She's just like, I'm gonna do it for you. I'm gonna sign you up for the show. And then she signed me up for the show. And then you know, a couple of months later, I got a call and

then I was filming six months later. Now you're married, and now I'm married to my wife Ashley. Ah. But yeah, it's crazy. It all happened for a reason, you know. Yeah, Uh well I don't know if it all happened for a reason. I'm not a big believer and everything happens for a reason. Uh. Not to be a pestimist, but

it's weird talking about your first love. You know, it's it's it's just a it's a it's a it's nostalgic, it's it's difficult to talk about because you know, as anybody who's ever been in love, UM, I can tell you it's just very it's so intimate. You know, the moments that you have with this person just are moments that you don't experience with other people. Uh. So it's always weird going down memory lane and thinking about the course of things and how everything happened. I don't know.

Spinning again for Dean six. Would you rather send your nudes to a stranger or send your nudes to an X? To an X X, Well, you mean what X what? It's something I can pick the X. I would just say that I think I would trust an X to not do anything with my nudes rather than a stranger. But I guess on the flip side, if a stranger gets my nudes, they probably don't even know who it is unless your face is in it. That's the question

I had, is you're facing these nudes. Yes, Well, I guess the thing for me too is I've got like tattoos down between my waist and my knees that are like pretty ah, pretty telling of who I am. So it's just, you know, I guess whatever people can see my small penis, I guess it's not the biggest thing. As soon as they see that Instagram verification tattoo, they

know exactly who that nude is from the Instagram. And then I've got the carpet knocked him on my hip to which is like right down here, my pp So yeah, I guess you know, in an ideal world, no one would ever received my nudes. In fact, I don't think I've ever even actually taken a nude before. So is there anybody? Yeah? I highly doubt that. Is there anybody

of your exes that you would feel comfortable? Like if you gun to your head and somebody's like, Okay, I just took a picture of your dick and you have to send it to your one of your ex Is there one X that you're like, Okay, if I have to send it somebody, I'm comfortable enough explaining to Kaitlin and this X what the hell is going on? Yeah? Absolutely,

you don't want to say their name? Absolutely not. Ok But there's a I would say there's probably a few that I would be like hey, and then like after the fact, I could get my phone back and be like, uh, sorry, that's funny, ha ha by you know what I mean. But I'm being serious. I've never taken a nude before. Okay, I never taken nudes, and I've never asked for nudes in my entire life, maybe with like one exception. I

just find it. I just don't like it. It's it's something that's kind of icky to me, I don't like if I would never want to send one. I don't feel comfortable asking for one, And even like the whole process of like requesting a nude from someone just seems so weird to me, So I just never really did it. It's interesting with how much you travel, like I feel like that would be like the number one source of like keeping your relationship spicy. Um No, I don't. I

I mean no, it's it's not necessary for me. I've talked about this in the podcast before. It's like, I don't like over sexualize my relationship. Like as much as I enjoy that stuff, I you know, it's not like a burning desire within me too, like have fulfilled. So a conversation is perfectly fine until I get back to the house where for however long, I'm gone forward and I'm totally okay with that. So al right, next question too for Jared dream celebrity crush go m Rachel McAdams.

She's just perfect. I mean, she's the perfect woman behind Ashley of course, obviously, she's just good recovery. Oh god, she just looks good all the time and she has that girl next store look and it's just there. I'm gonna stop you now before you get yourself into much trouble. On that note, Dan, this one question twelve the Bachelor's Star you slid into your that you have slid into their d ms before that no one knows about. Uh, probably Tyler Cameron, I guess. No, it has to be

the opposite sex. That's just asking to bring me to get in trouble with my girlfriend. No, it's not. I think. I think before I had gone on Paradise for the second time, I might have slid into Andy Dorfman's d M s. Or I maybe just I asked Amanda Stanton to introduce me to her. I can't remember. I think that's the latter, not the former. I don't think I ever actually officially slid, but there was a point where I had a crush on her. You can kind of

see that big Dorfman guy. Would you have, so hypothetically say, worked out with you and Andy? Would you have told Nick? Would you have asked for Nick's permission to date Andy. I'll be honest with you. I never even I never even I forgot to even consider that they had ever dated at any point. Um. I just thought you. I just thought you was cute. I think that Amanda Standon posted a picture with her. I was like, Oh, that

girl's cute. And then I clicked on her page and I was like, oh, that girl used to be a bachelorette. And then that's that was basically into that. So thank you, guys forgetting me in trouble. I can't wait to hear the end of this. You will get stared in trouble next with this one. Have you or would you ever have a three sun? I have not. I don't know. I mean, I guess my hesitation already answers that question. The fact that I'd be open to it. I don't

know if i'd be open to it anymore. I in my single days, definitely, But the idea, well, the idea of now, you know, being married with Ashley and having someone come in, I don't know. I don't know if i'd feel comfortable with that anymore. But uh yeah, a few years ago, why not this one? I have set up for both of you guys. I landed No Question number five and I've been waiting on this one. So there's three options. Let's start with Dean first block on Instagram,

Mary Netflix, and Chill. Okay, this is the Mary f Kill, but in the PC version Walk on Instagram, Mary, Netflix and Chill, Dean Leslie Murphy, Christine Stolman and Kayla Quinn play this game. This is so bad. I'm not gonna play. I'm gonna pass. I'm gonna take whatever punishment you can give me because I just rather not even discussed this at the moment. So, Jared, what do you think? Who's the well? I answer, well, Jared's next. Yeah, so yeah,

I get three new options. Caitlin Bristow, Lea Costa, Kayla Quinn. Who's Lea Costa? Who's from Australia, wasn't she? Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. And I have to marry Netflix and Chill and Block on Instagram. Yes, oh jesus, let me preface this. I'm gonna play the game because no, you just gotta answer. I'm married and the only person I want to be with is Ashley. We understand the game. We're at a team sleepover party, all right, Um, I

would who Leah Kayla? Oh god, well, okay, I'm gonna marry Caitlin because I think Caitlin, I'm we're friends with Caitlin, so I think that'd be a fun marriage. Um, and then I guess I'll block Kayla and I'll Netflix and chill with Leah good answers, All right, let me spend the next one. And Dean was lamb about it. Accept my plushment or whatever it may be. We'll figure it out, Jared, and we have to think of something good. Well, can it be like people that you have no idea who they?

You don't know them? So not like xes? Can I give you three names that you just you don't even know who they are? You know who they are, but you don't know them in person? Sure? All right, so let's do uh, Caitlin Bristow because that's the first name it came in. And then we'll do Okay, Andy Dorfman shure, why not? And then we'll do Who's a good one though? Who somebody? Who's this on Peter season? Hannah? And all yeah, Hannah, Sure, sure, okay,

I block Hanna and saw that, saw that coming. I would marry Andy and I would netflix and show with Kaitlin. Bought a boom, bought a bang? Next question, spin the bottle is getting lit up in here? Help my second dating quarantine? Alright? The next one for Jared tell one minute story. One minute Jared about your first kiss, one minute. Al Right. It was a sophomore year in high school. I don't know if that makes me a late bloomer or not, but we were slow dancing. She went to

a different school and I went to her. It wasn't ProMED, but whatever the hell. The dances were in sophomore year and we were doing that slow dance where her back was to me and my arms were wrapped around her waist. Oh yeah, it was the way to go. When you did that, you were cool. And it was towards the end of the night and I was trying to get like my confidence up to kiss her, and then she turned around like she did that thing where she just

kind of looked like looked at me like that. I know the listeners can't see me, but you know where the girl kind of like looks up like puppy dog eyes, and then she just leaned in and kissed me. So my first kiss, I didn't even make the move. She made the move. I'm such a whip my entire life. He kiss man, That's true. So that was my first kist where you're in high school at that dance, it was pretty cool. There was a memorable moment. If you got a kiss back, then you're winning. When was your

first kiss? Story? You know, I can't remember. I think it's so depressing, but I honestly cannot remember anything about that. I mean that makes it sound like you've kissed a lot of people. I just can't remember, like the defined moment of like a first kiss. I'm like, was it like seventh thy grade? But like I can't really remember? And then like was it in high school? Like there's just too many like vague points. So unfortunately it's kind

of sad. Okay, here we go. Next one. It is Deans most embarrassing up story, most embarrassing hook up story. Oh well, I I wanted for this tick of time, just think of something quickly here most embarrassing, embarrassing? How like inability to perform because there's plenty of those, Um, most embarrassing hook up story? I can I didn't. I can't think of anything, to be perfectly honest, Can I get it? Kind of get a second question and I can come back to this one later. Well, let's think

about it this way. Eugenie Bouchard, Um, I think she's a professional tennis player actually opened up out one of her worst dating stories and hook up stories. They went out to dinner and then like went back to the apartment and they both got food poisoning, so they were like throwing up on each other like the whole night, like sharing the bathroom. So there's something in that angle of like he did something really romantic and then went completely wrong or something. Yeah, but the thing is that

this is a person that came to mind. I didn't want to share because I've already shared it on this podcast before. But I went on a second date with this girl who really liked We ordered Chinese food and watched movies at night, and I got really sick and was puking. I wasn't attending to stay the night, uh, and I ended up staying night but basically sleeping on the bathroom floor, puking the entire time in the toilet. I got a third date, long story short, but it

was still it wasn't even like embarrassing. It was more of just like like unfortunate, I guess um, But it's hard to be embarrassed when you literally have no shame like I do. So it's I don't really think a very many embarrassing moments that can come to mind just because I'm, you know, an idiot, So I would say that's that's the one that first comes to mind. So that must be the most average all right, spending again for Jared ten weirdest habit, weirdest habit, I don't know,

obsessing over people like Tom Brady and Rob Thomas. I guess that's pretty freaking weird. It's pretty weird. Kayla makes one of me for this all the time. Um, I really like sneezing, Like I would just like get a kick out of sneezing. And so if I feel like a booker is in the right place in my nose, I'll like vibrate my nose and like come through my nose to to trigger a sneeze. And every time I do it, Kayla makes one of me a lot. Fair enough. Yeah, it's better than what I had. I got nothing. I'm

very weird. I don't want to downplaying this. I'm a very weird individual. I just can't think of anything on top of my head. All right, hone, Okay, great, Jared? That sorry. Dean's turn What is your biggest turnoff in a partner? My biggest turnoff in a partner has to be I'm talking physically, emotionally, what are we talking here? Just generally speaking, I say indecisiveness. It's like, it's kind of a big turn off for me. I want, I like, I like decisions, and I like, I don't like wavering.

I just want I just want to know the answer to the thing, not not in decisions. That's kind of a turn off. I don't know if I remember, I don't know if I'm on the right track here, if that's kind of what the question was looking for. But but yeah, it's it's like one of my big frustrating one of the things I get frustrated on is when and it's not just even romantic partners, it's with anyone. It's like, you know, obviously there's the age old one,

Hey what do you want to eat? And then the answer is always I don't know a lot of know, but like that as it pertains other things as well. So yeah, that's my biggest turn off. And the last one ending on Jared, what was the last person in Bachelor Nation you texted? And what does it read? Oh? I like it? That's not good. Then Dan likes it.

We both you guys both get an answer this it's probably actually it is, so do you want me to scoop no no before other than your significant other, because it's gonna be like do you want avocados or no, Like it's gonna be like a supermarket. We'round the text. All right, Well it's it's tanner. It's very underwhelming, and the text just says, I feel like it's been so oversaturated. That's it. That was the last text. Look at a picture you were going to post or something. It does

It doesn't have to do with social media, yes, potentially Instagram. Nice. Mine's funny actually because I texted Ben twenty minutes ago in the middle of this podcast working Hard people, He's really working hard. Ben and I sometimes bought bounced stock ideas off each other, and he encouraged me to invest in Disney a few weeks ago. Uh, And since I bought Disney, I texted him and said, hey, Disney stock is up twenty since I bought it. And then that

was it. Well that I'll do it. For this week's episode of Help I Suck It dating all inclusive of spin the bottle, uh, movie set romances? What else? What else did we talk about we don't really get any listener to emails this time, which is kind of a bummer, But you know what, I like that we're not doing it every time. Let's create a let's keep people on their toes just a little bit, creat a little bit

of an episodic diversity here. And uh, big thank you to Jared obviously for wearing that bandana looking great today every time, Guys, all the time. I'm gonna keep wearing it. Big thank you to big thank you to Tory for spending thirty minutes on to spin the bottle sign as well as coming up with those fantastic questions and at least took our forty five minutes. Um. Big thank you to all listeners out there for taking the time to listen to another episode of Help I Suck At Dating.

B Shared tune next week because maybe we'll suck just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck At Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast h