Some Turbulence Ahead

actually joining us right off the top. She's a writer, she's a director, she's an actress. She's an author of the novel Eat Pray hashtag f m L, which is a great title. Gabrielle Stone Grab Gabrielle, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me, guys. I'm happy to be here during the pandemic virtually. How's this pandemic going for you? How you do? And you know, like, I'm I'm safe and I'm healthy, so I can't complain. But it's definitely the weight of what the world's going

through is weighing on me for sure. What part of the country are you in I'm in l A okay, well figures obviously with your occupation, right I wish I could be. I wish I could be elsewhere and traveling right now, but this is home. But like I said, you're you're an author, you're a writer, director. You wrote a novel last year called Eat Pray hashtag f mL, which obviously is my life, which is a playoff of E Pray Love. So can you just talk about your

book a little bit now? I know one of the reasons why you started writing it, or at least what I read online, but I'd love to hear from you personally, your story as to why you felt compelled to write this novel. Yeah, totally, um I think that's kind of happened to me. Um In. I was married for almost two years, found out my husband was having an affair with a nineteen year old for six months, filed for divorce. Left.

Shortly after that, I met a guy. We fell madly in love with each other, had a whirlwind romance, and he convinced me to go on a month long trip to Italy with him. Forty eight hours before we were getting on the plane, he told me he needed to go by himself, and I was freaking devastated, broke my heart like my husband never could have. But I had a decision to make, and that was either stay at home and be heartbroken or go travel Europe for a

month by myself. So I went and took a backpack and did six countries over the span of a month and wrote a book about it. Did you ever say why he couldn't go with you? Yeah, oh dude, it's I mean, it's a long saga of of drama. But he was still grieving over the death of his brother. Um that had happened like a little over a year earlier. And um, I think when he fell in love with me it kind of like opened up all that that

he had pushed really far down. And you know, but I mean, give me your take on it as a man, Like was it a total cop out or was there some validity to it? I mean, I don't know if I could really speak upon it, because you know, I to lose a brother, Uh, that's you know. I don't know. I don't know if I'd be able to relate or like, uh talk about it with any type of knowledge. But I'm still glad you're able to travel by yourself. So what was the traveling by yourself? Uh? What did you learn?

Uh not only about yourself but about dating relationships? Yeah? So much? Um So when I realized I was taking this trip by myself, one of my biggest fears since I was a little girl is being alone and being okay by myself. My dad passed when I was young, um and since then, I've had a lot of abandonment issues and this was the universe is kind of clear way of making me go face that head on and really deal with it. Um. So this trip really taught me that I'm never really alone, um because I'll never

abandon myself. And that was a huge, huge, like spiritual journey lesson for me and just how capable I am. Like. I had such an incredible time on this trip, and I learned so much about my elf, um so much about the other people that I met. I met some incredible people and uh some that I still keep in touch with until this day. And it was a really life changing experience. I came back from Europe a different

human and all the best ways. All right, I've got some questions for you, so and not to go back and reopen any old wounds. But I talking about this every week. There's no and that's why I feel comfortable asking these questions. Okay, So so I'll get to the whole one month relationship and the guy leaving you fort

eight hours before the flight to Europe thing. But just to backtrack even further, so you were married for two years and you found out that your husband at the time was having an affair within eighteen year nineteen year olds for six months. So just add my own curiosity, how did you find that out? What? What? How did that whole thing unfold? So I missed my calling as a private detective. Um I actually didn't even go looking

for it at first. We had been having issues for you know, five or six months, and um, I didn't realize why we were in therapy. I was working my ass off to try and like get us back on track and couldn't figure out why everything wasn't working when I was doing everything that our therapist was, everything that he was asking. Um And eventually it came to a head where and this is all like detailed in the book,

which I wasn't planning on originally writing about. But all my girlfriends were like, no, dude, it was like an episode of c S. I you have to write about this. UM. So one night we were at our house and I was putting away laundry and I went over to a soft drawer and put opened it up to put a bunch of socks in, and there was a phone in there, and I was like, why is your phone in your

soft drawer? And the second I picked it up, a text popped up that had her name with a heart emoji in the contact and he came over and like snatched it from me, went into the bathroom, came out like forty five seconds later and was like, here, it's not even working, just take my phone. Unbeknownst to me, he went in with his second phone, came out and

like handed me his original first phone. UM. And so then after that he went on a trip for work, and I started kind of knowing something was going on. And I was in our office and his computer, UM was up. We had he had like one of those big imax and paying on his email came in and I went over and looked at it and it was an Uber receipt that was from the city he was supposed to be into somewhere that was like two hours away.

And that was kind of all I needed to like be like, Okay, I'm I'm going to look through his email at this point, um, and every like hotel receipt, like couple's massage, dinner reservations. It was all there, and I was like, okay, well here we go divorced time and then and then you confronted him about it. Obviously I did when he got home. So I knew for for two weeks before I've served him the papers because I didn't want him to get wind of it and

filed before me. Um. And mind you, during all this, like we were my friend and I were investigating and finding out who this other girl was UM, which I did by calling the Four Seasons and telling them that we have used a fake name and I was doing taxes and could you give me the name that the reservation was under? And then we found her online. It was like way too easy and uh and then yeah, when he came home, we had a process server at my house and served in the papers and sat down

and had one last conversation. I walked out of the house and never looked back. And do you guys talk to this day or is it kind of one of those things that's in the past year. And no, I mean I've run into him and his girlfriend. There's as far as I know, they're still together. This was like a year ago. I ran into both the gym and it was an interesting conversation. I can only imagine. Okay, and then fast forward from there. So you are divorced now and then you meet this guy I would assume

in So Angeles. Yeah, technically I wasn't divorced yet. Um that the whole process, yeah, you know, I mean it was clear on what was happening, but the actual process takes like a year. Um. So I had left the house, mind you, I had known about the affair for two weeks now, So I leave and about three weeks later I reconnected with this guy who I had casually, like super casually dated, um before I had even met my

ex husband, which was like six years ago. And he d m me on Instagram and we started talking and he was like, you want to go hang out and go to the beach and I was like sure, um, thinking you know, if I'm gonna like go casually have fun with someone, this was the one person I've ever been able to be casual with. And he was hot and he's you know, um, so I went, yeah, I went, and um, it just went from zero to one hundred

really fast. Do you think that might have been the ultimate downfall of why the because because you said earlier like dig into this and figure out why he might have or you know what, the whole like brother passing away thing might be legit And obviously, you know you can't really judge someone else on how they're going to react with death or or loss, or you think that, but do you ever do you ever think that the fact that it became so hot and heavy so fast

might have something to do with it? And so um, but I also think that, No, I don't think. I know that he had a ton of healing to do around that, and I know why I had to take this trip by myself and how it changed my life. So I think we really came into each other's lives and we were both the catalyst of some serious soul healing. Um and uh so yeah, I think it. It was

extremely insane. I mean I remember my mom and all my friends being like, I'm sorry, you just got out of a marriage, like a brutally shocking divorce marriage, and you're like hopping into this relationship and we were like we're having babies. Were like, we're done, We're getting married. This is it, this is my person. Oh yeah, I met his whole family, like would tell all of his

friends about me. It was like really serious and intense. Um. And So to have that go from like this level too, I think I need to go on this trip but myself and break up with you, um was. I mean it was more devastating than my divorce was. Do you ever think about revisiting that relationship? Maybe it was time? Yeah, how does it? Because that doesn't just end right, Like you guys still have phones to texts. You're in the

same country at least when you land might um. So we actually flew on the plane together, sitting with each other. Our tickets were from l A to London and then we were supposed to go on to Rome. So I have a friend in London that I went to high school with, so she was like, look, just come here, you can start your trip here before you decide where you want to go. So we flew to London together. I stayed in London, he went on to Rome and then like the a roller coaster of you know, are

we gonna see each other? Are we not going to see each other? Should we meet up at the end of the trip? Like do you even still have feelings for me? Um? Goes throughout the entire book. UM. And I don't want to like say if we did or not, because it will totally ruin the ending for some people that eventually read it. Um. But yeah, I mean it's let's just say. That's the biggest question I get is like is there going to be a book too? And is he involved in it? Because it was so open ended.

So okay, So for the listener out there that might not know this, a flight from l A to London is about twelve hours long. So you had just broken up with this guy and then you sit next to him for twelve hours on a flight. Yeah, what is that? What is that? Like? You know, I get that question a lot and people are like didn't why didn't you change your ticket? Was it refundable? And Um? To be honest, for whatever reason, everything between us was totally normal and

the same. We just weren't kissing and holding hands. I mean, I was obviously like devastated in my heart was broken, but other than that, we were kind of like just transitioned into this friendship. Um that that kind of was okay. Uh so it wasn't like this weird awkward plane ride. Um. He took the picture of me with my backpack on where I posted at the airport and was like, hey, everybody, I got divorced and I'm going to Europe and like, here's what's been going on in my life that I've

been talking about. Um, And it was really weirdly normal. Um. It kind of got harder once I was in Europe and on my trip, and I felt like at part at times he just disappeared and wasn't supporting me after I had been sent off on this journey. I didn't really ask for um. But the flight itself was kind of weirdly okay. And our return to our return tickets were booked together to oh my what you said? You didn't want to spoil that, and so but we did slide.

We did slide back together because that's that's how the tickets were booked. So do you think that normalcy, that that established normalcy is makes it harder or easier, Because it's like that you can have both arguments where oh it's easy to get back into being friends with this person because that's just who we are, or it's like, oh, things were so great between us and the chemistry was there that we were able to stay friends through it all.

Do you think that made it easier or harder for you? Um? I think harder for me because it wasn't my decision and I didn't like. He was so like you've changed my life and like I never don't want to have you in my life, like you have to be my best friend. And I was like, well, I wasn't really looking for a best friend like I have my friends. Um, I was in love with you. So it was this weird kind of like he was asking me to flip this switch that had gone off in him, and I

was like, dude, I'm not really capable of doing that. Um, but he meant so much to me and we had gotten so close during that month and a half that I was trying to force myself to do that. You know. So when I picture Europe, right, so you get to Europe. You said you're in Europe for a month. When I picture Europe, I think of like that movie Eurotrip where you're going to clubs, you're drinking, absent your party in your backpack and you're exploring, you're staying at hostiles, your

your hitchhiking to get from place to place. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So and I'm sure in your book you chronicle some of these crazy adventures that you might have had, right, But what is that kind of like the vibe that it was or was it totally like soul searching? Like no, I mean, well, okay, So for the phone away thing, I was originally going to be like I'm gonna, you know, really disconnect and like go and just be in the moment.

And when I posted that picture and like wrote about my divorce and like that I was going off on this trip by myself, hundreds and hundreds of people reached out to me and we're like, oh my god, this changed my whole day, Like please keep sharing your journey,

like I want to follow this with you. So I ended up really posting quite a bit on that trip, which now I'm really thankful for because every day when people are reading the book, they're like stoking my Instagram and like, oh my god, this is that place that she was talking about. So it's kind of like this cool interactive thing. But yeah, I mean, yeah, I had a one night's and in in Amsterdam. I like, there was lots of guys on my trip. I all I knew

about hostels, which you'll probably appreciate because you're a travel guy, right. Um. All I knew about hostiles on the plane over was that there was a movie and people got brutally murdered in it. Like I was like, what do you mean of those to stay in a hostile Um. Now I'm like the number one advocate for them and love them and tell all my friends like, if you're ever going to travel, stay in hospitals and go by yourself. Um. But it Yeah, So there was a lot of partying,

a lot of not sleeping, a lot of drinking. Um. But there was also a lot of you know, soul searching and reflecting. I wrote three fourths of this book on my trip, so there were a lot of days where I was in a cafe just like writing for six hours. So it was kind of like both kind of mixed together. Nice not to spoil the end of the book, but do you think after friends crossed that line of being intimate with one another, can you ever go back to being friends? Mm hmmm, that's a good question. Um,

I've had other situations that pertain to that. This one is kind of different because we never started as friends, like we went and hung out and we're like, oh, we're gonna we're gonna do this. Um. But on the other side of it, it's it's hard to backtrack when you've established a relationship that's based on intimacy and like chemistry, it's hard to backtrack and be like, Okay, let's just

be friends now. UM. I think it's doable if both people really want to commit to that, and I think it takes some work, um, but it's definitely not easy in my opinion. You sound, uh, you said exactly like one of my former girlfriends. I remember we broke up and I was like, well, yeah, we can still obviously be friends, right, And she goes, well, we were never friends to begin with, Like we basically started out dating each other, so how do you expect us to be

friends now? And you basically said the exact same thing that she said. It's it's funny and and there's a lot of truth to it too. I agree with it, but it's tough because I have excess that I mean is from a long time ago, like college years that I'm friends with not I mean, like we don't go hang out on the regular, but we're friends and we talk and you know, we're we're good in each other.

There's lives. But yeah, it's it's a difficult. It's a difficult thing to navigate, especially when not both people feel the same way, and it's usually unless two people are like mutually breaking up, which is kind of rare um. I think it's a hard, hard road to navigate, especially when there's another significant other in play, because then you, yeah, I want to be honest, be like, well, we did

hook up, but that will never happen again. And then like the idea have you hanging out with somebody that used to hook up with That always throws a wrench in things. It's super weird, and it it takes a really secure woman or man to be like, yeah, that's totally fine. You know, it's it's a weird dynamic for sure. I mean, you guys probably have have some weird experience with that since you guys started a Bachelor, which I have to like, I have to admit, like, I that's

my guilt the pleasure reality TV. So I yeah, well,

so so you've seen Bachelor, you know, what's up. It's just like I think we all accept the fact that, like, hey listen, this is what we all signed up for, so we have to kind of overlook some things and just accept that, you know, like for example, exactly like I was on Caitlin Bristow season and like we had a good relationship, but we've become friends afterwards, and Ashley and my wife is super cool with it now to the point where Caitlin and her now boyfriend Jason were

at our wedding. You know, oh that's great. Yeah it was cool. Um, that just means you have a badass wife too, so oh yeah, she's both bad as you can see, Like I'm currently recording in her glam room, so she like it just shows my my place in the relationship. And So if if you could tell your the audience one thing that you'd really want them to take away from reading your book, what would it be That there is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it may look, and it is

usually more beautiful than you could ever imagine. So keep going travel. What about travel? I think that seems like a big yeah for sure. I mean I think everyone should solo travel at least once in their life. It totally changed my life. Um. I just did my second solo trip by choice, this time UM to Southeast Asia, and it was it was incredible. Um, And I if I had a choice now, I would prefer to travel

alone as opposed to with friends or family. UM. It's you just like it's so freeing, and you learned so much about yourself and you meet people in such an authentic way because nobody has time to put their both layer on like they have at home, and it's it's so refreshing to just be able to like openly be yourself and do whatever you want and not be locked

into any schedules. It's it's amazing. When you were explaining your first experience in Europe, I had a similar situation minus like the heartbreak and the divorce and all that kind of stuff. Uh. But I did a year and I'm sorry, a month and a half solo trip through Europe and like Asia like two years ago for the first time ever, and that was like changed my life.

And I I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, like and still a lot of things in me that I hadn't realized and my confidence on all these types of things, So I agree with you. I always tell people that whenever really asked to travel alone, because it really does, like it helps you realize what your own priorities are. Where you're like, you're waking up to do the things that you want to do, not

what other people want to do. So it helps you kind of figure out exactly what you like doing, which is really, where did you go in Europe? Um? I did Amster Damn. I didn't have a one night stand there though I did, did you really? Yeah? I actually met up with some friends out there, and man, the Red Light District. You you hear the stories about it, and I always think it's not gonna I always think nothing's gonna like line up to what people really say

about it. But red Light District was like, really, it is exactly what you think it is. It was crazy. Um I did. I did? Like the main staple you're in countries in some Eastern European like Poland and u uh Slovakia, which is pretty cool. But I always encourage people. Um, I love Asia the most. I know you did Southeast Asia? Yeah,

where did you go? Like Vietnam? So I did? I was supposed to do two weeks in Vietnam, in two weeks in Bali, and I was in Vietnam for like a week and my heart just wasn't getting what I wanted and not settling, and I was like, I'm gonna go to Thailand. And I flew to Thailand and spent a week and a half in Pie, which is this like little mountain town, um three hours outside of Chang Mai. And it was the most magical, incredible place I have ever been. I swear I could live there if I

had to move anywhere other than here. Chang Myai itself is pretty isolated too, so three and a half hours outside of Cheng Mark. Yeah, you know, it's it's it's wild. But it was like every all the little cafes were like you were walking into a super garden, like just incredible nature and like uh one long Street with the night markets and stuff. It was. It was awesome. And then I did a week and a half in Bally Nice. Yeah,

always great too, I've been there. Um, it's funny execute well, Kitten and I were just talking about moving to Bally, but we'll see if if that ever comes to it. Um, you're gonna record the podcast from Bali. I mean, hey, we're recording it from our apartments in Los Angeles, so I figure, why not be able to do it from Bally. More importantly, are we invited to Bally. Yeah, we'll get a nice, biggest state. We'll have a bunch of guest

rooms for all you guys to come visit. Gabrielle, So your book is out on shelves now, right, it's exclusively on Amazon. It's in paperback book and audio book. Amazing. Okay, great, So if you don't want to have to go through the cumbersome experience of ordering a book and reading it, you can just listen to the audiobook. Yeah, and I narrated it myself. It was a ton of fun to do. It was wild to like act out scenes between my my ex husband and I and all of the ridiculousness

that ensued after that. So it's it's a fun ride for sure. Therapeutic a little bit, totally totally there. There are times in the audio book where like you can hear me like getting choked up, in times where I'm laughing my ass off. So yeah, it was definitely a weird form of therapy. And like you were saying, we might be in the works of a part two, right, Yeah, you know, I get asked that like weekly, Um, and I have written parts of it. I know how it

begins and how it ends. It's just a matter of timing and if the people involved will sign off on it, because obviously it's about my life and it involves real people. UM. So I'm always, you know, trying to be respectful of that. The guy that left me before Europe was so supportive about it and signed a release for me to do it, as did his family, and it was really important for me to be able to do that with a good

conscience and you know, have that blessing. So but the ex husband you just oh, there was, but I did. Everyone's names in the books are changed, and my ex husband's name I chose the name that when I found everything, that was the name he used to book everything under. And like what a second phone was registered to. That's a good f for you to him. UM. Awesome. Well for the listeners that want to check it out, like we said, it's eat, pray f m L, be sure to check it out on Amazon. UM, thank you for

for jumping on the podcast and sharing the story. I want to hear more so I'm definitely gonna check it out myself. Awesome. Yeah, I'm happy to send both of you guys a book. Um, so just let me know, sweet, we definitely will. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Thanks all right, welcome back, Uh, Jared, we jumped right into it with Gabrielle that we didn't really get a chance to get updated with your life. And I'm sure a lot has changed with both of our lives in the

past week. So what's going on with you so much? Nothing has changed. We're hanging in at home. Uh dude, I'm just it's I don't know what to think anymore. I'm I'm nervous. I'm nervous about the future of Not to get all negative Nancy on you, but Covid is not going awin man, hope, it's not going away. On top of that, the bubonic plague is potentially have resurfaced in China. Yeah, I heard about that one case. Yeah,

I mean hopefully that turns into nothing. Hopefully. That's like Murder Hornets Part two, where like it made it was a big deal for twenty four hours and then it just went away. We're in the midst of an election year. Two to top of all, Oh my god, man, it's just it's cuckoo. But uh, like, uh it was fun. So on Saturday we drove down to Tanner and Jades to just cook out for the fourth of July. We stayed outside, you know, we we try to stay six

ft away from each other. Is tough with the kids obviously in the backyard, but you know, we stayed outside. We didn't congret inside. And that's just gonna be like I guess, like the future for the next like whenever we get a vaccine seven eight months and so that was nice. Is that is it that COVID can't come? Can't COVID can't cross the doors and enter inside or enter outside? How does it work? It has a much more I mean from this listen, don't take this as gospel.

I'm you know, like I'm known for, but this from from the things that I've been reading on COVID. Uh, yeah, it has a lot more difficult time transmitting outdoors than it does indoors, which is why you know, you see restaurants much more like you know, have outdoor receding and aren't allowed to eat indoors and so on and so forth, and um so yeah, because I was reading in the

New York Times. There was an article while back about China to study about I think like seven hundred COVID cases, and only one was traced back to an outdoor transmission. Every other one was indoor. Anyway, I guess the air circulates a lot better, so it's it's less recycled. And apparently light might have a big factor on this thing. I don't know if you've heard about UV lights trying to destroy these things and are trying to destroy COVID

and they're saying sunlight. Uh, it dies pretty quickly in sunlight, so that's why they tell you to stay outside. Um. But anyway, Yeah, it was a nice fourth. It was good to see the kiddos, Uh Tanner and Jade's kids, Brooks and Emmy, and Jade's pregnant again obviously, so it was I feel like every time again, didn't they just have their baby? I mean, Brooks is uh, Brooks is going to be a year in late July, later this month.

I think he'll be a year. So she Yeah, I just remember doing that that little spin off show with you and Ashley and we did the baby or the gender reveal. Yeah, and she's pregnant again. That was like a year ago. I was like, just maybe barely over a year ago. Oh yeah, well they couldn't go to the wedding because she just gave birth and the wedding was a year ago in August. That's right, She's always

just out. Yeah, well, it's kind of yeah. Tanner always said that if he, you know, if they were gonna have an other one, they wanted like kids to thank about quickly so they could just, you know, I don't know, in eighteen years enjoy their life. I guess that. Like, so I see the reasoning behind that, and especially like the closer in age that their kids are the better of friends they'll probably be. Yeah, honestly, that's one of

the reasons. I'm certainly not why Ashley and I want to rush into having kids, but it would be really nice to have a kid, hopefully sometime soon, so they could be around the same age as their kids as well. I think, uh, my brother, my oldest brother, and I didn't really become friends until I was like twenty two because he's nine years older than I was, so he's, you know, twenty years old on eleven. He's not gonna be friends with an eleven year old. Yeah, there's no relatability.

You're watching SpongeBob exactly. And I didn't realize that for a long time too. I was like, I was like, pretty I was like eighteen nineteen at the time, and it was still pretty stupid. I was like, why does Brad hate me so much? And then I, you know, looking back now, I was like, oh, it's because he was thirty and I was twenty and he imagine being friends with a twenty I mean, yeah, I guess it.

It depends, but it's a little bit different. Yeah, my sister and I didn't really get along all that much. I mean, we got along pretty well, but when I was in junior high and she was in high school, we started like going our separate ways a little bit. Because she was an upper classman. I was, you know, uh, underclassman, almost said younger classman. I was like, that's not the term. Um. But then once she started going to college, and then I started getting a upper classman. Then once I went

to college, which became close again. But yeah, it's all about age, bro. Having an older sister is tough, man. I remember when I was in middle school and then a little bit in high school too, the big thing that kids would pick on me for. Would they always be like, dude, you're sister so hot? And I don't know why I always took such big offense to it. Oh, I hated it. I wanted to beat up everybody who

said that. Why. I don't know. Yeah, same. I remember I punched like one of my best friends in the face. I don't know. I tried to punch him in the chest and he blocked it into his face. But he's like, he called my sister hot, and I was like, don't call her that. In hindsight, it's like you just say thanks, Yes, she's a very pretty girl. Yeah, like, thank you very much. I think it was just like, I don't know, don't touch her type thing protective. I don't really know. But no,

it was nice having an older sister. I mean, she's the one who introduced me to boy bands, and now here we are thirty thirty years later, I'm still obsessed with bashar boys. Yeah, we had very different older sister experiences than it sounds like it makes sense. I mean, this is why Ashley just thinks I'm I'm so I'm a guy who likes boy bends, that's the reason why she likes me so much. Um what else? What else

is happening in the world? Man, I wish we had I wish we had a single person on to like talk about dating during COVID but towards interested in four July fourth at all? How is your how is your fourth July? You know? At a at a spite, I'm not even gonna answered to know. I follow your life on Instagram, so I see that you went skydiving again. Uh no, it's great that you don't even want to ask these questions. It's a bit eva centric of you. But here, I'm not here to judge. I'm just here

to host a podcast. I was just trying to well, No, no no, I want to hear about your fourth I want to hear about it. It's fine, man, it was It was good anyways. No, I'm just kidding. It was good. We got together with a couple of close friends and just same thing, grilled outside, played cornhole. That was basically it was in bed by I think eight thirty that night, I felt like an old man. I was yelling at

kids in the alleyway that we're lighting off fireworks. I'm sure your dogs hate the fireworks happy like freaks out, and there's still Like last night, for instance, it was like there's some little firework off at like three in the morning, like the block away from us people. Not only does it wake us up, but then it like happy is like shaking for the next thirty or forty five minutes, you know what I mean. Yeah, it's stupid.

You see, like the drone shot over l A where they showed all the fireworks going off in the entire city. Now i'd heard about it, I needed to I need to look at it though, but I'm sure it's pretty cool. It was cool, but also like disheartening because it's like they are ever like they're just like jerks, like you

were talking about. Well, yeah, it seems like this year especially, there was even more fireworks, which I don't maybe understand why there would be more this year, Like it's not like anyone is more patriotic this year than they have been in years past. Well, I think it's just more

well depends on your definition of patriotic. I feel like people were like, you know, the people out there who are saying no mask and and you know, are saying like my freedom comes before me, you know, putting on a mask, like I'm sure they were pretty adamant about throwing fireworks in there, especially like being cooped up for three months and like the government telling you can't leave your house. I'm sure they were like, if you I'm

I'm doing fireworks. And there were no public fireworks in the area, so I'm sure people went out of their way because they were like, screw this, I want to see four fireworks on the fourth of July, and if I can't see any, then I'll just do them myself. I don't know. I think there's something bigger foot but that we do not just don't know about yet. Well, like aliens setting off fireworks on the July I'm not necessarily aliens. But I've read a couple of different conspiracy

theories about why there's been so many fireworks lately. I would love the one. I don't know enough about them to really to share them, and I would I don't want to sound ignorant because of my lack of knowledge on them, but it's there's interesting things to read out there about it. Right after this podcast is done, Fourth of July conspiracy theory fireworks, Yeah, you should you go down a rabbit hole. You'll end up uh recording this podcast next week. Haven't just got out of it. I

got nothing else to do. It's either do that or play uh Fortnite. Oh you're playing Fortnite now, you know. I'm man? Yeah, man, dude, I suck though. It's not even fun, Like anytime I play live, it just gets shot immediately and I'm like, all right, well that was fun for five seconds. Let me get the hell out of here and do something else. I don't know, man,

I've been working out outside more. I canceled my gym membership because obviously I'm not going to go to a gym until uh it's safe, and it's not gonna be safe in my mind for a very long time. So I've been working out outside more and that's about it. I went like, sporting clips. That's so exciting. This is what happens during a pandemic. This is what happens when you have to record at your house. There's just nothing. There's just nothing to be done. I mean, we're healthy,

so we can't complain. Kaylan and I think we talked about this with Gabrielle a little bit, not to get all political or anything, and We're not going to share stances or anything, but if it's certain someone gets re elected, didn't uh November where we had a handschick agreement to move out of the country. Oh, don't be those Well, okay, all right, then you here's the thing. I'm not gonna

say my political affiliation either, but I okay. Anyway, back of deals in sixteen, when everybody was saying, if Trump gets elected, I'm moving, I didn't like that because I thought, listen, if you love you know, if you if you want Trump out, then you have to stay in the country so you can vote him out in. So I don't know, don't don't move. I mean, I guess if he wins, then he's you know, he's out in four years anyway, because you know, you can only serve two terms. So

I guess it doesn't really matter. I was one of those people back in sixteen that said that exact same thing. I said, I was gonna move to South Africa. I didn't realize how expensive it is to move to another country and how difficult it can be. But now that I have the means able and I'm able to do it, I think it's a lot more realistic and you have somebody who would move with you, right exactly, I did. I did early balloting. I'll go it again in November.

But I'll do my parts. But if what happens is what we don't want to happen, then I think we're going to take extreme measures and get the hell out of here. But that's just that's just a bit of an update on online Klin situation. You know, we're looking at We're looking at New Zealand. It's beautiful. We're looking at Bolli as we as we talked about with Gabrielle. I have heard New Zealand is incredible. I'd love to go visit it. Cal It was actually yeah, like there

was a handshake agreement. You know, I haven't really thought much of it since the handshake. And then I like, I talked to Kalen like four hours later and she goes, yeah, I was looking up apartments in New Zealand. They're actually pretty affordable. I was like, oh, you're looking up zello as estimates in New Zealand. Hey, you got a plan ahead. And it's apparently like the safest country in the world. I believe that. And the Prime Minister is a badass

here's the Prime Minister. I don't know her name, but she's she's that woman. She's just like Candling Covid and a bunch of other stuff. Really well, I feel like a lot of people from New Zealand are just badasses. New Zealand's parmister is I'm going to butcher this name you, Cinda Artern. But but yeah, that's that's the couple update that. That's what's what's going on overight here with Kayalen and Dean. Well,

I hope you don't move for a couple of different reasons. Uh. But if you do, then I'll be more than happy to come visit you anytime. Um. All right, well, I guess we should talk about like emails. I have a we we have a couple of emails to answer. I also have a d M from the help by Secudating Instagram, which everybody should be following by now again help by Secudating on Instagram. Plus give us a five star review

on iTunes because um, we just want it. Uh. And again, like Dean said, you can ruist us in the comments section if you'd like. As long as the five stars, I don't really give a crap. Um, and if you don't like the podcast, don't leave a review. Well, if you don't like the podcast, give us five stars and tell us what you don't like about us so you can fix it. That's fair, that's a good point us. I have a DM from Wait, wait, wait, Jared, Jared, Jared,

slow your roll, back it up a second. Just just just don't put the car in front of the horse. I would love to hear this DM. I would love to hear these emails. But before we do that, we gotta take a quick break. All right, that's fair, All right, we are back to answer some emails and Jared's d M that he's very excited about. But before we do that, there was one big breakup in Bachelor Nation that we

had this past week. And while we don't talk bachel Nation often on this podcast, we are a dating podcast, and so when big news like this breaks, we at least have to discuss it. So dating podcast, we're help. I suck at dating a dating podcast. I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I'm losing my mind continuing Jared' is a too much caffeine today? Um so, as I'm sure you saw in the headlines, Cassie and Colton broke up. I did. I saw online casting Colton

broke up. Very sad news. Uh. I like both of them a lot. We actually hung out with casting Colton rap before everything got shut down. We had this movie uh premier thingy Um. It was really good to see him. They seemed in good spirits. They seemed very lovey dovey. So I don't know what changed since UM, but I wish them both the best. I really liked them both personally. Uh Colton I've met a few times, super super nice guy.

Every time I hung out with him. Um, Cassie, I've got to hung out with a couple of different times. Ashley is definitely close with Cassie, but she's been extremely nice every time, which is always refreshing when you meet people from a bachelor UM who are just very down to earth, especially you know, as you know. Well, it's just like sometimes we watched the show and I don't know, I feel like sometimes I meet people from the show,

I don't get the best fives. So it was really cool meeting Uh Colton and Cassing getting really good vibes from from anyway. I feel bad for him. That was the first thing you've ever met him. Uh no, no, no no, I met Colton before he's a bachelor. Uh. And then I met Cassie. I forget when I met first met Cassie. It's probably some event I don't remember. Um, but I mean they both were really young. Cassie's what twenty three four, Colton's I think right around that age to mid twenties

something like that. Um. You know they had a rocky start to even begin with, um, with her leaving the show and then him jump in the fence after her, which is very romantic, but then leaving just boyfriend girlfriend. Um. You know, anytime you leave the show, as you guys know, UM, it's just you know, you're already kind of fighting an uphill battle because then you have to kind of rewatch all the steps that led to the point that you

guys were together, which most likely includes you dating other people. Uh. But I mean, who knows, who knows what happened. I'm curious what you think happened though, like, because like you said, you kind of gave us the whole synopsis in their relationship. They had the rough start and then, ah, we don't really know exactly what transpired after the fact, But like, who do you think who do you think broke up with who? Who do I think broke up with who?

I have no idea, I mean, obviously we have no idea. But let's speculate a little bit. What do you think I think that, I mean, they've probably I don't know. I mean they've probably I don't know. I mean I feel like they've been broken up baby for a little while, judging from Instagram, because I saw that he like they haven't posted together even before the breakup. I think like

ever since, you know, after he recovered from COVID. I remember like seeing him I think at his home in Colorado maybe or something on Instagram and where they were. She was in California and he was in a different part of the country. Ah, do you think that might have had anything to do with it, the fact that he had COVID? No, she said it on the Greatest Seasons of All time? Like Harrison mentioned something like that, like, didnt have anything to do with you know, being cooped

up or quarantine together? And she said no, I mean, I guess being quarantined together, though it can be a make or break for a relationship. I mean, you really truly find out if you you know, can make it through some series together. Uh, that's what Ashley's dad said. Actually, I mean, granted were already married, so we're fine. But Ashley's dad was really funny when when we were at his house for quite an extended period of time, he was like, if you guys make it through this, you

can make it through anything. That's fair. Yeah, I think it's definitely tricky. Uh, well, you might have a more insider knowledge with this, because I mean, your girlfriend is was obviously on Colton season. She's very good friends with Cassie if I remember correctly. I don't know if they're still really good friends, but remember them leaving the show, and they were very they were like best friends. Yeah,

they were good friends on the show. I don't I don't really want to bring Kalin into this at all, So I'm gonna go ahead and and and say nothing like you said, wishing both the best. I don't know. When I look at the relationship, I think that they both just have a lot to to learn about each other. I'm sorry about themselves. Um, I was obviously critical in that one drunken interview that I did in Las Vegas about how Colton. Remember that one I was like wearing

that that stupid pink corduroy jacket. I said something along the lines of Colton is going to have the dumpster fire of a season. Oh yeah, yeah, I forgot about that, you were. I've been pretty vocally critical about Colton in the past, so I'm gonna go ahead and spare uh any harsh words. Have you met him yet? Have you met Colton? Yeah? I mean we were friends, probably like his friends quote unquote. We met at a wedding and my friend Tiffany and Caleb's wedding, and then hung out

a few times before he left for Paradise. Uh. And then he got the bachelor gig and he's too cool for me. So just kind of how it works these days, I guess you know what I mean. I experienced that with Nick once once he became bachelor. I wasn't cool enough. But now he's he's come back down. We're friends again. I just think it kids got tough. It's gotta be tough to uh. And I mean we've experienced, maybe to

some varying degrees of this too. Just to be like thrust in the spotlight at such a young age, you have other people telling you what you want, uh, and then you start to like take on those values and you think that that's what you want, but in reality it might not be. And then you have strangers telling you how great your relationship is, when in reality might not be that great. And so you're staying together because you think it's great because other people are telling you

it is, but but it's actually not. Um. I was. I was honestly shocked when I saw the news. Uh. And I had no insight into the relationship whatsoever beforehand. But it's like, you know, anytime you see a bachelor breakup, especially like an actual bachelor and and his his his pick breakup, it's big news rather than like a paradise couple that no one really cares about. Um. But yeah, I don't I don't know. I was shocked. I thought that they would have at least written that a little longer.

They were together for like a year and a half something like that. I would say, yeah, I don't know.

But like you said, once you have external pressure like when you do from a bachelor couple, and I mean everybody experiences this right where, you know, even if you're not even if you didn't date from a TV show, you have people who tell you, like you guys are perfect for each other or you're not perfect for each other, And everybody has their own opinion about what you what you should do, or what you shouldn't do, and so there's just so much exterior pressure and then it's like

magnified ten times when you're on the show, and so it's hard to navigate, and like you said, especially when you're the lead with the person that you pick. UM, and then you have to kind of go back and rewatch all the steps. And then obviously Coltan had to tell book um, which kind of made everybody relive his entire Bachelor's season. Um. I wouldn't know any more straight

on on things you read the book. I did read the book, but it was it was very overly positive towards Cassie to the point where he was, uh, I mean he said that he knew, you know, halfway through that he wanted to pick Cassie and and how amazing she was and how good she is for him, and I mean it was just overly praising Cassie. UM. So I can't imagine had anything to do with the book just because of how nice he writes about her. Um. I don't know, but of course wish them both the best,

hope they do well. Um, it feels weird like even that we have to like really comment on it because I don't know, Like, like I said, I'm friendly with both them, I'd say, I'm you know, friends with them, but uh, not to the point where I like, I feel like I have any knowledge or like I should address the situation. Do you think it's almost easier for you to give your opinion on something when you like, if it was like Jade and Tanner breaking up, it would almost be harder for you to have a comment

on because they're like your best friends. Yeah, it's kind of too close. I'm almost too close to the situation where I would know. Yeah, that's why I want you to have like an invigorated comment about the break up, like why they broke up. But I understand where you're coming from. You like them both, You've got no ill ill will towards either of them. We can come up with some sort of story if you want, about how like one of them was living a double life and

and uh uh Colton had a second family. We could do that. Maybe we'll say that for next week. Um, all right, Well, like we said, all we can really do is speculate here. I did not watch the Greatest of All Time episode last night, but I do know that Cassie gave interview. I don't really know what that covered, but I guess it's just one of those things where we might never know the full story. Anyways, we're gonna take a quick break. We're gonna get to those emails

and that DM that we promised. Uh right after this, all right, and we are back after that quick break. Thanks for sticking with us. We are unfortunately a little pressed for your time, and so instead of answering all the emails that we've got, in which we love, we appreciate, I suck dating at iHeart media dot com. Email us any questions or dating stories that you have. We'll get to them next week. I feel like we say that

too often. Jared has a d M and he wants to share that and then we can dive into that a little bit. So Jared cloysers. So we have a d M and it says help if you use this on the podcast, I would like to remain anonymous. AK it's from Nick mile um my kid, it's not from Nick. Uh Hi, have you ever taken the anagram. I think you are six. She's talking about me, Jared, I'm curious. I'm a six, and I struggle a lot with the fears and anxiety of marriage. I've been with my boyfriend

for six years and we're talking about engagement. I love him so much and he's my best friend. I couldn't pitch your life without him. I don't know why, but I just feel so anxious and nervous about any big life decision because I think about all the what ifs and the things that could go wrong. What if he's not my person? What if I find someone better, what if I'm making the wrong decision. I wonder if this is something you can relate to, and if so, do

you have any advice to overcome this. I love the show. I love you and Ashley. I love Dean and Kalin. They're perfect. She's also an almost famous listener I don't get it, uh, and she's a member of Suck Army, so suck suck sucks suck um help I suck get dating. We haven't done the chant in a while. We gotta bring that back. Well, thank you so much Anonymous for

writing this. DM. We really appreciate it, and we really appreciate everybody who d m s and writes his emails and listens to this podcast, because without you guys, there would be no podcast. Um. So an intagram is do you know what that is? Well? I looked up intagram number six and it is the loyalist, the committed, security oriented type, engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious. Well, in if that's like the is that the thing that girls used to make in high school where it's like you flip

it back and forth. No, no, it's not that thing at all. Uh. The intagram is like a personality test that you take in It basically puts you into categories and subcategories that define your personality in a sense. Alright, And she says, what is that? So a six is h the loyalist? It's the committed security, security oriented type, engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious. Um, which I was surprised to hear that.

She said she was a six. And then she said that she was hesitant about marriage talks with your boyfriends of six years unless I miss remember bring it and she said six years and not instagram number six. She said no, She says she thought that me I was a six, and she says that she is a six. So she is a six. Yes, dating her boyfriend for six years a lot of lots of sixes. Um, I could see Yep, I could actually definitely see you being

a six. I could see that's pretty clearly here. And the advice that she's looking for is she's just uncertain about the relationship and taking it to the next level of man. Yeah, she says she's just unsure about any big time life decision. She always gets nervous and anxious about them, which I would say anonymous everybody does, like, Uh, this is speaking from someone who's married, and I'm I

was very confident before. I'm still very confident in our decision to get married Ashley and I. But that doesn't mean that there's zero doubt involved. Of course, you're going to get nervous. I mean you think about whether it being getting married or having kids, or what college to go to, or if you're buying a house, any like big monumental life decision you're gonna make, you're gonna get really nervous about. And if you're not nervous about it,

then all the props to you. But I don't know how you don't have any sliver of doubt when you're making some of the most important decisions of your life. So I would say, don't feel weird about that as a six from Yeah, from a six to six, I think that's pretty good advice. I think we're all kind

of in the back. I think in the back of her head, we all kind of are scared to make those big decisions like marriage, for instance, because that's not just gonna affect your next day, your next week, your next month, but it's gonna affect the rest of your life essentially. Uh, And any decision that's going to have that big of an impact on your life, it's gonna

come with its reservations and uncertainties. Obviously, you can speak more towards that because you are the married one among the two of us here, must have made like pretty drastic life decisions, you know. Um, I I agree. I think that marriage itself is just much more of a conscious decision, whereas you make these little nuanced decisions every single day that affect our lives, but marriage is like a very conscious like I'm going to commit the next

sixty years to this one person. And I think that as a concept can be pretty scary too, especially to a lot of people. But it sounds like this person has been dating their partner for six years. So it's like you've already committed eight percent of your entire life to this person. What's the rest of the you know, the rest of it? Yeah, hold on, I gotta figure out what. I gotta figure out the life expected to you're you're putting on this person right now. Let's see. Yeah,

I give her like seventy three, seventy four years. Oh yeah, you give her good? Hold on m sorry my capital. Oh yeah, you're given her like more than that. You're given her like ninety years. Good. Yeah. So yeah, I don't know. I think, like you said, it's it's it's a big decision. It's it's uh, it's pretty normal to be afraid and anxious about out a decision like that. But obviously, if you being someone that's taken that leap before,

it's clearly paying dividends, you know, emotionally and socially. Yeah. I mean again, a commitment is a choice, and so you kind of have to You either are prepared to dive head first into this relationship and commitment or you're not. And that's really the question you're gonna have to ask yourself. And that doesn't mean that even if you dive head first that you're not scared. Of course you are, because there's that that's that doubt in the back of your

head that this could really end badly. Um. But I mean, at some point in life you do have to just dive in and and put your best foot forward and and see what happens. Because there's a lot of things that are outside of your control in life, as as we all are very aware of, uh. And one of those things, as much as marriage is in your control, you know you have to remember there's another person involved in that, and so you know they have to be into the relations ship as well. Um, I think, don't.

I think A big thing too to consider is, especially when making a decision like that, is you have to make sure that you're confident in who you are as a person, because I think a lot of people enter into those lifelong commitments without really having an understanding of who they are, and that's why you see those types

of things fail. Um. And I think what I'm speaking for myself in a big sense to where I was entering into committed relationships when I didn't know anything about myself, and granted I still don't know a lot about myself, but I'm a lot more confident and certain in who I am, uh and so that enables me to be more certain in a committed relationship, whereas you know four

years ago wouldn't be so much the case. So make sure you're happy with who you are as a person before you enter into a lifelong commitment with someone else, because if you're to change and discover things about yourself that you didn't even know existed that could alter your idea of who you are entirely, then you're not gonna be the same person to that other person as well, and you're gonna want different things. Yeah, I completely agree.

I think that's good advice. Sweet Well, that's probably the smartest thing I've ever said in my entire life. So I think we should just end the podcast there because I don't want to. Yeah, I don't. I'm gonna go out on a high note like Georgi Costanza. Um, is there is there anything else that you want to add before we before we say goodbye to our suck army? No, that is it. Just thank you again for listen to

the podcast. Follow us on Instagram, leave us five star reviews UH, and please don't be afraid to talk about us UH in the reviews as long as it's five stars. Thank you to Gabrielle Stone who joined us today. Make sure you get her book Eat Pray hashtag f m L, which you can buy exclusively on Amazon. Thank you, Jared. Be sure to your next week to the help I Suck At Dating podcast, where maybe we'll suck just a

little bit less. Follow help by Suck At Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast