Sittin on the Dock of the Bay

with us. We also have the men from How Men Think About Dmitri and Rick are going to come on. And Rick actually has a thirteen year old son who's the eighth grade who I want to get. I want to ask he's a good looking young man. I want to ask him what it's like to date as an eighth grader. Because obviously we're all, as co host, pretty removed from eighth grade. I just think it'd be fun to see maybe how it's changed. We can compare and contrast how it was for us. I think it's a

good idea all those decades ago. Um, but first, thanks, first, Vanessa, how are you? I'm good? So we literally just landed, came straight to the stadium, So at Oracle Park right now. It's my second time in San Francisco. Um, I've been to a few baseball games before. When X when when Montreal had the Expos. We're trying to get them back real hard. Washington. Yeah, um so now the capitals now that the capital, So we're trying to I mean, Expos don't exist anymore, so we're really trying hard to get

them back to Montreal. So I brought my baseball cap. Hopefully I won't get any popcorn thrown at me today, but very excited to be here. I haven't seen you in a while. A minute, Yeah, it's been since Tahoe. Well you um did a loan solo episode two weeks ago. Yea, and you were at a wedding this past weekend. I was at two weddings this past weekend, and that kind of when's the last time you went to a wedding? Well, I mean we know that answer. Um. Yeah, I feel

like after I went to those weddings, I love. Maybe it's because we were on the show and we have that we're constantly in the spotlight. I just felt like, I think the day I get married, I just want to have a barbecue. I'm gonna invite people to a barbecue in my backyard. Whoever shows up shows up, and they have they'll have no idea. That's my actual wedding day, and then that'll be it. Like no one has to spend money on their hair, no one has to spend

money on buying a dress. I've had a similar thought to that, actually, but it would be a beach thing. So I mean, yeah, I think it's it's good. But what about the weddings gave you that idea. I don't know. I think it was just, uh, it's a lot, you know, it's a lot of planning and preparation, and that even for the guests going watch me have the most elaborate wedding. After I say this, well, you are kind of like, uh uh oh God, here here comes an insult. Insult you?

How do I say this? You like nice things? Oh? Really? Well? Like you? I don't know. I know it looks like I like nice things, but I like to like you like nice clothes, and you like to do your hair. And where jewelry do you? Not? Not? Really? The only jewelier I'm wearing right now is my ring that my grandmother gave me looking through your Instagram. I I see you as like a like a high class and I

like dressing up. Absolutely know, I didn't want to, Oh you do not know me, but like someone that likes to like celebrate grand grandly, you know what I mean. I mean, listen, if we're comparing you to me, yes, but no, I don't live in a van. I live in a very nice part of the Especially with you being like as um and like aware of your own emotions as you are, I feel like it's gonna be hard for you not to want to have a big

wedding because I don't know. I mean, listen, I come from an Italian background, and we the weddings that we do, the baptism, the confirmations, like everything is always so big and we sell it. We love to celebrate um And for me, it's like I want to celebrate with the people that I see on a daily basis, and that's the people that I basically see every Sunday, which is my family and my closest friends. So I don't know, this is just something that went through my head because

it was a lot. That day was two weddings, and then the next day, yes, and it was an hour away. There were an hour away from each other. How did that end up working out? So one of the morning wedding and one was an afternoon one was they were both an afternoon wedding. But my boyfriend came with me to the first one, which was my close friend, and then I went to his friend's reception, so I got

to meet all the rest of his friends. Um, which was crazy because I think I was talking about it with Annelie, who's here high girl, which okay, So she's like, I didn't know that you were got You and Josh were dating for a couple of months. I think people think that I've we've been dating for longer than how long is Christmas? December? Jenni Faberite March, April, May, June July. Wow, you're good nine months? Um, no idea why I just

said that. Oh yeah, So I met the rest of his friends at the wedding, right, So for me, I think it's so let me ask you this, being with your boyfriend, surrounded by love and weddings, all these things that make you peel all these things, How does that does it put things into perspective for you at all? Like?

Does it make you want to maybe expedite the process a little bit or get you more excited for marriage potentially with Josh, I mean, listen, you know me, I've always wanted to get married, I've always wanted to have kids, and I think for the longest time, every time I started dating someone, I thought, oh, this is the person for me, because in my romantic head, I thought, if I'm dating him, for sure, he's going to be the person and end up with. But with Josh, it's such

a different feeling. It's a sense of like I feel at home with him, um and yeah. When we're at the wedding together, I'm like, I can't wait for the day where I'm walking down the aisle and I just want to see his face when the first time he sees me, and those thoughts that go through my mind. And then a couple of days later, he looked at me when we woke up and he's like, I'm gonna marry you, and I'm like, my god, I'm gonna cry. Can I ask a favorite of you when you get married?

Will you invite me to your wedding and not invite Jared. That's the favor that I'm asking of you right now, Like I said it's gonna be a small wedding, so maybe no one's getting an invite. So it's just being Josh and I. There you go. If you're listening to this, I'm going to va it is not. The challenging thing for me is when I get married, who am I going to invite? Me? Does? Because I have to continue the trend of one person can come one So I guess it's going to go back to me not coming.

I mean as whatever. I always feel like the left, the one man that's out of the equation. I'm gonna have a wedding and you're gonna be the only person in attendance. I love it. Can I what's it called officiate? You can officiate? Yeah, that'd be great. Um, okay, cool. So you had the weddings, You are incredibly happy in your relationship, very happy. But now enough about me, Jane. So we just watched the last episode of this well

this week's episode on Tuesday. Well, so, just for the listener's sake, we're recording this episode the Thursday before the week after I dumped Kalin. So we have not seen this week's episode of Bachelor in Paradise, but it has been teased that I returned back to Paradise this week, but again we have not seen the episode, so we don't know exactly what happens um and I can't really talk much about it. Let me just tell you this.

I guess between the time of me leaving and the time of me being teased coming back, I think I can tell you what I did. I landed in San Diego. I drove all the way to the Grand Canyon. I sat there for a couple of hours, thought about things, Listen to music, listen to some lectures, read a book, drove down to Phoenix. Called one of the producers and said, hey, I want to come back to the beach. What do you think this is? After how many days after you

left Paradise. This was basically the same day I think I landed in San Diego and I called them and I was like, hey, guys, I'm sad you left and you had immediate regrets. So this is in between time between obviously, Like I think that's kind of appropriate, right because I left on the show and I come back next week, and so yeah, this isn't between time. And so yeah, so I landed and I was really upset,

and so I called them, We figured it out. I don't think I can get too much into the nitty gritty about that right now, but UM, drove to the Grand Canyon, thought about things, called them. They decided today would let me come back. And so that's what you're gonna see next week is me coming back, which will be fun for us to watch. I think I don't really know how it's going to go, but my hopes are high and it should be at least entertaining if

nothing else. Um, But obviously next week, after that all happens, we can talk about it a little bit more depth. Yes, because I have so many questions. I actually wrote a draft. I wrote a list of questions because it's it's so upsetting to see. And I'm such a fan of Dean and you know this, So it's so upsetting to see the self doubt that you have about yourself and how

you think someone else observes more happiness. And I like how Calin puts you in your spot every now and then, and she's like, why are you making that decision for me? So I do want to get into this, but I guess we'll talk about it next week when you do reappear hopefully she'll take you back. I do want to. I'll touch on that really quick, Kenn, we can move

on to the next segment. Um. I think that the self doubt is more of not that I don't think I have enough to offer people, but just that I'm not willing to offer the things that they want to receive. You know what I mean? Is that just because I just said I'm in a mode in my life right now where i want to focus on myself and be selfish, etcetera, etcetera. But I would love touch more on that next week when we talk about that, when we're able to talk

about that more depth. Um. So, next up, we are going to speak with fellow Bachelor contestant and she's going to update us on her life because she's been dating and it's getting pretty serious. Can we talk about it? But we can't wait? Wait, yes, we can talk about it, but before we talk about it, sorry, the producer is looking at me with a stink face, like we can't talk about it a h percent. We can talk about

and we're going to talk about it. Before we do that, though, We're gonna take one quick break and then really dive into it with Amlice Okay, we're back. So Anale, Hi, how are you. I'm doing well and you look great. You just cut your hair. I love it. I love the new look. I did a little jop. I thought like I needed a new do looking hot. It took us put let's go ahead and edit that part. No, please keep that alright, as Pillison, last time we talked to you, we were in Tahoe. That was like four

or five weeks ago something like that. Isn't that short that? Okay, maybe five six weeks ago. Anyways, phil us in what's going on in your life? Life has been good? Uh? Are we really talking about my dating is a dating podcast? Yes, I have been dating somebody tell us about it. Dean loves getting and he's really good at getting information out of people. So just warning you. Whatever you feel like sharing, I'm gonna share like the bare minimum because I'm not

ready to dive in completely with details. But but yeah, I met somebody and he's great, and I feel like, uh, it's the first time, maybe ever, that I'm like, Wow, I'm worthy of this kind of relationship and I feels yeah, I don't know if I don't know, if maybe I thought in the past that like I deserved somebody this great and he's really amazing. How did you meet? Uh? We met at a time. It's a very much like

when you least expected situation. I was. It was right after doing Paradise and I was done with men for a bit. I was like, I'm going to just take a break from dating. I'm not going to date until maybe the show is done airing, and then you know, slowly get back into things. I had a couple of people that wanted to set me up with, you know, friends of the family or whatever, and I'm like, okay, sure, but not for a while because I'm just not ready

and I'm taking a break. And then I went out to bring up be a wing woman basically for a friend of mine, and she started talking to these guys and when we became friends with them and then just have hung out pretty much every day since. Didn't work out for your friends, No, I mean that was like she she unfortunately didn't. Well, she actually did meet somebody, but not that weekend. So yeah, things are good and okay, great, So that was how long like six weeks ago? Ish,

we're cusping on too many months. Yeah, that's great. It's always the most interesting time too, because like you're trying to get to know someone, you're trying to figure out what they like, what they dis like. Also very weird because the show started airing like, oh two weeks maybe after we So, how did you approach that with him? Because I'm sure he knew that you were from the Bachelor franchise. He didn't because he's not he's so far removed from social media and all that sort of stuff,

So that's a great sign. Yeah, So I I just said it, like on second time we hung out one on one, or maybe the first time we hung out one on one, I was like, I gotta be honest with you, did you know what it was? Did you know what? Trying to remember if he did, because my boyfriend still has so many questions. He has no idea what Paradise is. He's like, oh, she's on it? Why was she on it? Did she not? Fine? Love? And I'm like, yeah, it's yeah, I mean that's something how

the conversation was as well. But yeah, I think he was sort of aware of the show but doesn't know anything about it. So and then, how was it watching the show when you were on it with him? Oh? I didn't did you like, did you like this allow him? Like you just said you're not watching it or you know. I actually I have a really really hard time watching myself back on it. So I wasn't going to watch it. And then when I found out that I was going

to the reunion, I just binge watched every episode. How did you feel about your parts on the show? Um so, I actually had. I had seen my parts, just because I have friends on the East Coast who would send me clips because I was I'd have panic attacks like minor ones before, you know, knowing like okay, tonight's the night that this part airs, so they would send me my little clips, and um so I got to see that in real time. Basically we talk about paradise for

a second. I know it's hard to put yourself back into that situation, especially now that you're you know, in a good relationship. What happened with the whole Chris Poukowski thing. Uh So that that was frustrating to watch back, and I don't like it's always hard because I don't know exactly what I can say, and just um he he was really pursuing me that first week, and they didn't

really show our relationship at all. And I think it's frustrating watching it back and seeing it be shown as so one sided because it really wasn't and he really, I think, struggled with that decision that night. I Christina sort of like came and had a conversation with him, and I think I don't know what was going through his head, but um, but I think he was probably thinking, oh maybe and at least is more serious, and so I don't want to be like committing myself to her

for the rest of this time. Um, but I just wish he would have had that conversation with me, because if he would have, you would have realized I wasn't there yet. But do you have any resentment towards Christina ever coming in and saying that? I mean a little bit.

I feel like whatever she said to Chris was the same thing she said to Blake when he was I feel like it was the exact same And yeah, so I mean, but the thing is is everything happens for a reason, and I am a firm believer on that, and I think that, yes, I was disappointed in the moment because I felt really jipped of the whole experience. Um. Watching it back then and like my person definitely never showed up on the beach, So it's you know, it

is what it is. I think I sort of went back this time thinking, oh, I'm excited to make more friends and be still open to the possibility of love because it's sort of worked for me, uh the year before, you know, Um, so I was hopeful, but I yeah, I just felt jipped more than anything. Both comparing season to season. It's hard too because you were there for

a short amount of time this second time around. But also you it's it's easier to kind of remove yourself because you got less attached to someone, right, So would you say that like the first time was better or the second time was better in your experience? So, and this is another part of just editing that gets frustrating. Is I actually, I really really loved how I handled Paradise this year. I felt like I went in, I was open, I talked to everyone, which wasn't really shown,

but I did there. I felt like there weren't a ton of options for me, and I actually did have a connection with Chris and so it was just an easy, natural fit to just spend my time with him. But but I still was happy with how I handled everything. Uh, maybe some things I would have done slightly different, but I did feel like I did Paradise the way I wanted to do Paradise this year, even though it was

only a very short amount of time. And to your point, like you said earlier, it's hard to look back and regret anything because you're happy now, right So it's like everything happened for a reason. Obviously, it's a It's a good place to be right now because I feel like my perspective on all of it is just so different, and I'm really grateful that I met somebody who doesn't care that I was on a dating show, and you know that I put myself in this crazy world. You know.

I think that's a classic example of like you said, it's so cliche, but I really do believe that everything happens for a reason. Like before I went on the show, I I fell in love with a guy, and I thought I was never going to find love again, and I thought it was the end of the world for me.

And then fast forward three years later, I'm on the show and I get engaged and I was at a high, and then the relationship ends and again you're back out of low and you whenever you're at that point in your life, you think you're never going to find the person that you you're meant to be with. And I remember, like, I want one episode I did, uh my solo episode was girl talking. Amy was like, you know, I think you have to stop trying. I think you have to

stop wanting it so much. And it's so true. I I kind of just said, you know, it'll It'll happen when it happens. And then it happens in a way that I really never thought I was going to date someone that slid into my d ms on Instagram, and and that's exactly how it happened. So Amy, thank you for the advice. What I couldn't hear you what I said, Amy, thank you for the advice. Oh yes, I can give great advice. Those who cannot do teach anything I do.

But I can give people the best advice, the best advice. I'm like, Chill, you got this, everything's fine, just let it come to you, the universal take care of in the moment. That's not what you want to hear that in the moment you want to hear like chill, And I'm not chill, And I've cried the last twelve day. Is it's like I cannot take my own advice, but I'm working on Anyways, Analyst, thank you so much for joining us. We're happy that you're happy. And let me say,

stunning couple. Yeah, he's very good looking. Did we did? We did get to see them together in their natural habitat. Um. It's great to see. And I'm not I'm saying this lovingly. I hope we never see you on another Bachelor's show again, because I hope this is a relationship to end all relations But thank you for joining us, and we'll see you on The Bachelor in Paradise for Union show in a couple of weeks. Yeah, yeah, okay cool. So for the listeners out there, we have two more guests from

I Heart Radio's hit new podcast How Men Think. Um, we have to the co host Dmitri and Rick, and they are going to tell us, well, I guess we're just gonna dive into a little bit with them, but before we do that, we're going to take one quick break and then jump right into it with them. Okay, So we are back with two of the co hosts. Of the four hosts, there's five to a full car of how men think? Here with us, we have some

Facebook questions. Both of these gentlemen are married, and so it'll be nice to have a male's married perspective on these questions. And your Greek so I feel like we have the same mentality, same kind of way of thinking when it comes to family and life and relationships. Rick, and you're white and I'm white. So I think that we're going to see so we're gonna get a lot of Okay, guys, before we start, you want to tell us about your podcast real quick, just so we have

like a good idea of who we're talking to. Listen. I mean, one of the biggest questions out there is from women especially is what men are thinking. They always you know, you get together and you think, listen, this is what this guy did, this is what he said, and this is how we reacted to something. How what what was he thinking? And it's like, stop asking your girlfriends and just ask a guy. So that's what we are.

We're five guys on the How Men Think Podcasts that are willing to tell you exactly how guys are thinking. We don't always agree because guys think different things, but we're willing to tell you what you want to know. Well, and I think the other thing about our show is we're got, we're men at different ages stages of our life. So like, I have two kids, Dmitria has four kids. Brooks has zero kids. He's just recently got married. Yeah

next did two years ago? Listed by Brooks like and Gavin DeGraw for people listening that may not Gavin is hilarious, Gavin's he's hysterical, he's fantastic, but he's you know, he's a rock star and he's single, so certainly he brings that perspective, which is that's kind of a perspective that's hard to relate to. I feel like not for you. I would think you seem to have that single rock star type of personality. Yeah, single, I don't know. That's

the question. And so let's jump into some Facebook. Let me diverse. This question is from Becca, and I want both of you guys to answer this as best you can do. Men still think about their first love, even when I'm in a happy relationship and a committed relationship, not and I want them back way just in a random nostalgic way. So question is either of you, two married men one or two kids on the four kids, ever think about the first woman that you ever loved?

I would say yes. I mean, I think it's not like you're like the question saying is you're not actually using that to take over your existing love that you're in a relationship that you're in. But it's it's you're and you're not comparing by any means, but you're you're touching onto those feelings, you know, and so what was that experience like and so? And you may be comparing it to what you're doing now or how that is.

But I think you're as you go through life and the older you get, you sort of reflect back on certain stages of your life. You know, what was like in high school? What was it like in college? Was it like right after college? And there may be three or four different people that you fell in love with or two or whatever. And I think that I think it's okay to do that. Yeah, for sure, I think you want to you want to remember, especially that first one.

I don't think you should sit there and and peruse in your mind all your relationships or think back at them. But I think, as they pointed out, they mean, you know not you know, I want them back to a sort of way. I think you want to remember that special time and that special person that. I mean the person that and they don't even say sexually, they just say the first love. So it's like the person that

kicked off you having these grown up feelings. I think that's something you definitely have to remember one just because it's a nice time in your life, but too because you, like Rick said, you want to grow from that. Let me ask you this, So obviously you two are in love, you're married. Does the love that with our wives? Well, I think and I actually love each other as well. You guys are in respectively to your own wives. That's obviously what I what I meant to say there, does

the love that you have it? Because I was a quite love to like a feeling, right, So I was in love when I was thirteen, But I can be in love when I'm twenty eight and it's different love, but it feels the same way, like in my chest, you know. Do you would you say that it's a

similar feeling that you have that you get from it. Yeah, I'd say it's similar, but it it certainly is more advanced and as you grow mentally, it's like the love is different, like you you you probably you cherish it more and you're more aware of what it does for you, what that companionship does for you. When you're young, you're like, oh yeah, I love this person and you feel happy to be around them and they make you feel happy emotionally.

But as you get older, you're like, do you bringing you You made some good points there from my kids drop and stuff, and the other thing I was going to add to that, Dmitri was like, there's a lot more on the table right now. Right, So you're it's you can't be thirteen or twenty eight and be Google Gaga in love with somebody. Uh. You know that you have kids that you're you're e spreading that love too as well, you know, and there's friends or and and your wife. So I would say, Dean, the love is

actually different. I mean, it's still a love, but it's it's a different feeling and you can't always bring that back up. Um, and you bring that back up in certain scenarios. So like you're firstborn, you go back, you go out on dates, or you go on like a little you know, uh, take a vacation together. Like those are things that I look back on and those are the things that kind of bring back back some of that loving feeling. Was that a song was that Gavin song?

Wasn't We'll give it to him? And I think you're exactly right. And as you get older, life is life is tougher. Man Like when you're young and you're like, I'm in love, Yeah, we love whatever, going to a concert, going to the beach. But now it's like, you have bills and you have responsibilities and you need someone that can that can be your partner throughout that. And that's that's really the difference, because you have more of an appreciation for the love and support to say that they

gifts evolved a little bit. So you're you're both married, you're both in love, you're both happy. For our listeners who are experiencing heartbreak or who have never found love, can you say that you could fall in love more than once in your lifetime? Sure? Of course. I fell in love with a girl in the airport the other day. I just didn't get a opportunity to hang out with her. No no, no, sorry, what are we taping, Mike? Just because I didn't get an opportunity to go on on

five days, So there doesn't mean I didn't love it. Actually, that's actually a funny seguay into our next question from Katie Lee. She wants to know where can you find quality guys? Is it dating apps? Is it airports? Is it the gym? I mean, listen, I found I found my boyfriend on Instagram, preferably guys that aren't married, you know, honestly, I think the best case scenario, and this is my

wife and I met. We met through a mutual friend. Um. I think if you have somebody in common, you cut out a lot of steps, so you already kind of vouched for for the person, for both people, and so we met. She was working with somebody that started as a sounds convoluted, but she was working with this girl that I went to college with who started dating a friend of mine. And then she she was throwing her birthday party and she said, Hey, invite this guy that

I'm dating and some of his friends. And I think you might like one of his friends. And she's like, oh whatever, I'll set this party up. And that's that's how we met. Okay, So you're saying meet the best way to meet someone is through mutual friends. I think that's the best case scenario. Okay, I think it's the

best case scenario. And I think Dmitri and I are our experiences is a little bit dated, to be honest with you, you know, and I think nowadays, if you're three, I think whether it's through Instagram or through the Tinder app, or through you know, some of those other those apps that that people use, I think that's an okay way to meet somebody. Um and it definitely um. It kind of cuts to the chase in different aspects than having a common friend. And if that doesn't work, try the

deli counter at the grocery store. That's always a good one, that is, because you have a similar you know, have a common thread and salted meats and see what the pet also pets. Even that's the next question alright from Rainy. Why does a guy text you first invite you to hang out, then leave you on open for hours or days and looking at someone specifically when they plan time. When the plan time comes around to actually hang out, then they text you later and ask when are we

hanging out? Going to hurt? He's not. He's not. He's looking for better options. He's he's when he texts you that first time, he's at a moment where he's like, oh, I kind of want to hook up, or I'm thinking about this person. He throws he cast the line out you bite right away, and he's like, all right, well she's on the line. Let me see what else I can do. Let me see if there's other people out there. And then he that part bypasses and I'm not saying this is the right thing to do, but this is

what's happening in that situation. That time bypasses, and then he's like, oh, he's like, but I gotta I don't want it to be mad at me. Let me throw it out there. Hey, when are we hanging out? I totally agree with dmitri or and it may not be that they're hanging out with another person. I think they're

just leaking for other things to do. Yeah, you know in the meantime, Oh yeah, I was gonna go to the ball game with my friends, or I was gonna go on a bike ride, or of one of those things too where you like, you text someone to hang out when you're board, and then you're not bored anymore and you don't really want to hang out with them, you know, like it's the time to hang out with them. Comes around, you're like, actually, I'm not bored a right.

Bottom line is you're not a priority to him, where he's like, I absolutely want to hang out with you, and I'm gonna jump at the chance to hang out with you. That's so they're also saying tell the girl not to be too easy because the guys want they want to chase. They do want to chase, but in this situation, if that happens, I think you move on to a different guy. I don't think that's I think so too. Yeah, all right. Next question is from Megan.

She wants to know, if a girl were to offer it up on the first date, what a guy always bite on the chance? Says sleep with her? No, not always. I think we talked about this recently on on how men think. I think, yeah, there's and I think Rick's gonna disagree with me because he did that day as well. But I think I think, yes, the guy obviously will want sex, but when it comes down to if he sees himself with a has a future with this person,

he may be hesitant. He may not want to rush into it because he he doesn't want to Number one as you said, we said in just a few minutes ago, there's something about the chase of something about exploring that time and taking baby steps in a relationship. I'm gonna I'm just gonna interrupt you real quick. I'm sorry, because I'm trying to think of my personal experience this here. And I've gotten into dates before where I'm like, no matter what happens, I'm not giving it up. Not nothing's

gonna change my mind. And I get into the to the to the zone dates going well, it gets offered up and nine times out of nine I'm not. I'm biting and I'm taking it. And how many of those girls have you married? Okay, it's a good point, but still he's only twenty eight. But that's the point. So yeah, of course you're doing that. But when you and and don't get me wrong, I know people that that went on a date, first date, had sex and they're happily

married with kids. It's possible, but in some guy's minds, you don't. When you think about settling down and you think about somebody being the mother to your kids, you don't want to think, oh, she was just she was just giving it up. If you have that special connection. Great, but I don't I don't know if opportunitarly disagree with you again, Dmitri. Every show that Dmitri and I are

both on, I disagree with everything he says. Yeah, yeah, I disagree to I mean, I'm I'm coming from the perspective. So basically, if you want to have sex go out with Amy? Is that what I'm hearing about. I'm coming from the perspective out of the date is going well, and you're getting along with this girl, and then you get to a certain point of the of the date then and everyone's kind of ready to play, then let's go.

I agree with that point. I feel like the older you get, you don't have to make excuses for the decisions that you make and that at that time. So if I wanted with I'm not going to explain when or how my ay friend and night the first time we had sex. But I mean, we're not going to get into that. Um. But if he would have stopped talking to me, for me, that's not someone I want to do with because I want to be with someone

who respects my decisions. And if I'm making those decisions based off of what Vanessa wants to do, then that's the person I want to be with, not because they're going to be judging me. If you know, I'm sure, if you know, I'm sure guys have slept around the first And it comes down to, like, um, what's it called? Like what guys are allowed to do versus what girls are allowed to do? Know? Would you be fine? So?

Would you be fine if if you knew that your boyfriend had sex on every first date he went on, would that be You're okay? You wouldn't think anything as long as he's using protection. Let me say this, if if a guy and a girl go on a date and they sleep together and that's enough of a reason for the guy to stop talking to the girl, then that guy is not a girl that that that's not a guy that the girl wants. Did anyways? Well that's true,

but I don't mean stop talking. I just think it in a in in that scenario of would you have sex every time it was offered up? I wouldn't. And when I was in college, there were times that I could have had sex and I didn't because I didn't want. I didn't I knew I didn't feel that way about that girl, and I didn't want her thinking that I did so. But granted, keep in mind I've been married for fourteen years, so times changed nowadays. At ricks in my age, if you can have sex, you have it

with anybody again, rick or anywhere? Who plugged his mike beg okay, Next questions from Ashley. Would you get engaged if you didn't have the money for a nice ring? Slash the ring your fiance wanted? So I'd say my boyfriend and I were getting married, and for me personally, I don't care. Um I was actually at a I was. I was at Burkes yesterday and um, I was shopping around and the woman was like, oh, come, look at the engagement at the engagement rings, and I'm like, how

much is this? Like sixty? I'm like, ring, you could find the same ring somewhere else, right, I'm like, I for me, it's just it's crazy that the guy has to spend that much money. I mean, of course it's pretty, but um, I think, why not spend the money that you know, spend all spend the money on what you could afford, and then save it on a house or save it for your children's education. Well that's exactly what I did. So I knew that I wanted to propose to my now wife, and at the time I said,

I don't. We don't have endless amounts of money. But I knew I wanted to propose, and I know we were ready to get married. So UM, I bought a ring that I could afford, and I proposed. And then somewhere down the line, when we were doing better in our lives and we had more money, UM for an engagement. I surprised her and I took her and we took the stone from that original ring, and she picked out a new band and we put that stone in so it still has the original stone, but she had a

much nicer ring. Yeah. Why, I mean, because you don't have enough money, you're gonna put off getting married. I didn't see that as yeah, I don't. I agree with you, Dumiti. And I also think that's something you can build upon. So like you have a you have a diamond, or you have a stone that you like, and then you can make a bigger, better one as soon as you know, as you move on three months salary things? Is that still a thing is supposed to be three months? Really,

that's what I heard. That's very old timey, you'd have to like get people to tell us if that's still a thing, because that is just super from well how much does it ring go for? Because I when I heard sixty thou dollars, I think that was pretty based in Yeah, you come up, dollar ring is pretty common, but you could get a great ring for five thousand dollars. The trick is like with with property. Find someone that's going through a bad divorce and they're willing to sell

it for cheap. I mean, if you don't care about carl, like you know, bad mojo or whatever, just do that stop like a good will or something, maybe a thrift. Still, don't you think it's the design and not necessarily the size of the Oh yeah, I saw I saw this woman. Now that I'm like, I'm always looking at women's hands to see what their rings look like, so I'm trying to get an idea, and I saw this woman that the diamond wasn't big, but it was. It was so original. It was like a tear drop or a pear, a

pair shape with like little bit gets on the side. Um, but the diamonds were very very small, but it was so original and beautiful. Yeah, finally, just a diamond band, like it just depends who you are. But that should not be a reason to not get engaged like that, Is that bleep crazy? Because listen, my engagement ring was big, Neil Lane, thank you. It was too big. It was a big you can't mouth answers on a podcast because we can't see yourself. Didn't love that ring? I mean

it was it was too big for me, Dean. You kind of when she was describing the ring, you kind of shuddered for a second when you heard bad guts? Were you thinking, Carbs, Oh, that's not I don't want to I want bad guts on my ring for sure. Okay. Lisa wants to know if guys get insecure? She says, do they ever feel like a girl might be too good for them? So that's why they won't approach a girl or swipe right on the app? What do you

guys think? I think so too. Yeah. I think I think that there is definitely get insecure, weird piority complex I think sometimes. I mean, we're sitting here with you, Johnny Handsome, I mean, how do you not feel does not like it? If a woman is more successful than the I personally love it. So what's funny. Actually is this girl that I did a little bit last year for sometime. It is a very very successful commercial real

estate agent. And she says, and she's a beautiful girl, and she says she goes on dates frequently, right, and she would meet all these guys and she like makes like five times as much money as they do, and all of them would like shy away from her for it. But I was like, that's like literally one of the sexiest things you could possibly tell me, Like, that's so

sick that you're like a determined, successful, like driven person. Obviously, I heard a lot of guys are getting insecured by her telling them that my wife is the CEO of a company of a big company. To me, that's hot. I think that's hot. And I'm like, I don't I don't want her being like, oh, how was word like? She she is brilliant, she went to business school, And

I think that's a turn on. And and I have zero insecurities about that, because if they're putting that much effort into their work, they're gonna they know what it takes to have something successful, So that can translate into a marriage as well. And she knows how difficult it is to be a co host of a podcast, then it is very challenging at that time, Rick, what do you think. I think it's I I don't get in

scure about that. No, I think it's actually a huge accomplishment if if the woman or the significant other actually is very successful. I think it's I think it's a turn on. I think it's um. I think I mean, why would you want to have or fuel and secure

about somebody that's working their own tail off? And yeah, I think it's great and in general, I mean when we did our podcast from Tahoe, Rick did it in a speedo, so he doesn't get insecure about that comes with a lot of I don't know exactly what it is, but well no I do because I saw him. Yeah, I'm just saying it's impressive because a lot of practice. I don't know. All right, So we have one final segment and Rick, obviously, with your blessing, we want to

get Peter on. Okay, So Peter's your son, Yes, extremely handsome, thank you eighth grade. So Peter and I and well I guess all of us met Peter on the elevator and I swear I was like this kid's like eight teen. He must be a senior in high school or something like that. He shakes my hand, he literally pulls my hand in half because he's got the strongest script. I've

ever seen. Blown away by this kid. When I was thirteen years old, I was like the biggest loser in the world, and this kid has something that just no other kid has. So we're going to talk to him a little bit and see what dating as a thirteen year old in eighth grade is like nowadays. I actually thought he was a child actor when when in the elevator, I was like, Oh, what movie are you looking? If you people who do know about the Bachelard franchise, he

looks like a mini Robert Graham. Yes, that's what you said. I could, I know, I could definitely say it's to know as it's the lips. Peter. Do you want thanks for saying that? So? Peter was pulled from class early today. He was taking a history test, but we pulled him out to bring him to this podcast. Peter, what is it like for you to be dating as an eighth grader? It's very awkward. Do you have a girlfriend? Yeah? You do? Rick? Did you know about that? How many girlfriends. I didn't

know about this one one. I like that answer. Um, why is it weird to date as an eighth grader? Because, like you're, everybody's going through puberty. You can be at different stages. So how did you and your girlfriend meet school? And how long have you been dating for? You have to talk into the two years long relationship for a year? And have you guys kissed each other yet? Know? Okay, okay, playing slow. I respect that a lot. Rick. How old were you when you had your first Guess? I was

in first grade. Yeah that's a lie. Swear to god. It was weird now looking back on it, it was. I was in first grade. Nicki Webb, early bloomer, remember her name too. Does Peter ever come to you for advice? Um? Not now, not not anymore? You know. Yeah. I think in the future we'll we'll talk. We'll have to sit down. But um, yeah, I mean most of the advice that he's going through. Uh he talked to his mother about, you know, in terms of their girlfriends and stuff. What

is it? What is it like with the relationship. You guys text each other, you talk on the phone. Is it we only set each other at school? We text each other and school, okay, and that school. Yeah, so there's not a lot of FaceTime going on or hanging out on a person. Well, one time we FaceTime and we um fell asleep on the FaceTime that my mom got super mad at me. That's really romantic, it is. I think that's cool FaceTime. But I say that over

the phone all the time. Why was she upset? Because I woke up at twelve and they were Also they didn't have a like, they didn't have a minute. That a minute was all. That's right, that's right. So what is it about this girl that you like a lot? Personality? Yeah, you guys have a lot in common. Yeah, like what exactly sport? You guys like sports? Very allergic to bees. Oh that's okay, simpler times you were saying it, man's simpler. You know, the older you get, the more it takes.

But yeah, when you're an eighth grade all takes. You want to avoid these me too. Let's go hang out together, not near honey? Are you? Do you see it lasting until you guys go to high school and through high school and all that kind of stuff. Maybe you think she's the one. I don't know, he's were only thirty. You don't ask somebody at that age about the one we should be asking you. I'm just trying to get to know him and his girlfriend a little bit better. Okay,

but so you don't know yet. That's that's at the end of the day. What are you gonna KISR? Do you have any plans to kiss her? I feel like it has to come in the moment. So how does someone at your thirteen How does a thirteen year old decide this is my girlfriend? Like? What makes it your girlfriend? We just talk about it, like, I think it's through

time I get to know the person. So you guys were talking about it for a while then eventually were like, let's just be a boyfriend girlfriends And so if she was like talking to another boy, you'd get probably prett jealous. Then yeah, not really. I like the confidence. That's healthy. That's good. I don't know where he gets it from. But um, all right, well, hey Peter, thanks for sharing about the relationship. Um, we wish you nothing but the best. Obviously.

I guess it's a little too early, apparently to be asking her if she's I think for sure, because do you know what it takes? Do you know when you know the one. Yes, you do. But that's my point. He's thirteen, like he shouldn't even be thinking that day to reveal? Are they insta official term? Are you insta official? Pure? Did you post our picture on your Instagram? What are you waiting for? Well? I don't know is that a

true thing? Like do? If you are you actually officially dating when somebody posts the picture of the other person that you're then you would get bullied. Then you get bullied. Why would you get bullied? I don't know, because you're being too romantic and what and it's eighth grade and it's eighth grade. Maybe wait till high school for that. Yeah, listen, Peter, when you want to know more about girls, I know you want to ask your dad just listen to the

How Men Think podcast? And he doesn't allow me to. But at the win because you're not ready when when it's time, I would rather you have, you know, balancing you know, thoughts as supposed to just hearing because I know you what your dad thinks about stuff. It's okay, listen to the group, okay, or maybe listen to help us like your dating too in conjunction with you can get it. You can get a good dichotomy there. All right, Well, we gotta wrap it up because we are going to

go watch this baseball game. Thank you guys for joining us on this episode. Ready for your big moment. Yes, I'm actually seeing the national anthem tonight, but for some weird reason, they're let me do that. I don't know why, are you really no? I'm just bringing the ball out to the You're I don't know, just bringing the bus. Pretty that's a big deal. Are you throwing the picture? You're bringing the ball out? I think I'm bringing the

ball out. I did throw the first pitch out of the Angels game, actually a couple of months ago, which is pretty cool. Did you throw right down the middle? Had thurn baseball in like a decade, and I was I didn't practice it all. I threw it right down there. That's perfect, which is better than most of the Angels pitchers are doing right now. Yap um, big thank you to Hotel Via for hosting us. Hotel Via is a

new boutique hotel in San franz most dynamic neighborhood. The Rooftop at Via Hotel is VIA's three thousand square foot rooftop lounge that delivers some of the most stunning and dramatic scenery in San Francisco. Located across the street from the iconic Oracle Park, the most beautiful ballpark in America, and a half mile from the state of the art Chase Center, Hotel Via is at the epicenter of the best. It is a beautiful hotel. And I actually had the

food I had. I dined already, so the food is amazing. Their croissans are great, their salads are amazing. So big thank you to Dmitri and Rick. Meet you and Rick. Make sure to check out their podcast, um and think it's on. I Heart Radio and you guys are killing it right. I remember your first episode had like was like the number one rated episode of all or something like like ever, y're hilarious. I mean, thanks for having us on, so you know that, what's the number? Let's

listen to podcasts in history. I always kind of reflect on a little bit. I'm kind of like I feel like I'm out of stage of my life for like I don't really give it. You know, it's like you willing to share stories how I feel, and I think that's kind of the whole point of the show. You know how men. Thanks having fun doing that. Yeah, it's great, it's fantastic. Thanks for having Thanks for having us on. Thanks guys big, thank you to Analyze Puccini as well

for joining us. Um and we will talk to you next week. We'll give you some Paradise updates. Hopefully we'll all be together next week. I think we might be. Will you probably be from from my bedroom anyways, be sure to the next week, where maybe we will suck a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast